Chapter 3 - Power Flex

"Harry. Harry mate. Wake up."

Harry opened one bleary eye, taking a few seconds to register the jolly face of Neville who was standing by his bedside, shaking him on the shoulder.

"What?" Harry croaked, before clearing his throat and rubbing his eyes.

"Morning to you too," Neville said, grinning cheekily, "You need to wake up, breakfast is in twenty minutes. Loads of people are waiting to find out whether or not the Goddess of Magic has given you another announcement to make."

'The Goddess of Magic? What is he on about?' Harry thought groggily and then, understanding. His eyes snapped fully open, it hadn't all been some sort of crazy dream at all; the events of yesterday all came flooding back, the second task, Naga, the crowd, the party, Lavender. He grinned and wondered what today might bring.

"Thanks, Nev, I'm getting up now."

"No worries," Neville replied and went to resume getting ready himself.

'A couple of announcements might be fun,' Harry thought to himself, 'Shake things up a bit more'

After getting ready for breakfast, which was a bit more difficult than usual with a ten-inch morning wood that refused to go down, he headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast with the others. It was a bit difficult trying to think of the kind of announcements he would make with the headache he had but figured the hangover would abate after a bit of food, so did his best.

While tucking into his full English breakfast the mail arrived. Spotting a picture of himself in the Daily Prophet, he borrowed Katie Bell's copy to read. It turned out he didn't have just a front page, but nearly the full issue. Just scanning the cover he'd been named 'The Prophet of Magic' and speculation was rife about what this could mean for the wizarding world. There was a section on page three about the nature of magic and magical blood and what the whole thing would mean for the ideological difference between purebloods and muggleborns. This helped spark a fun idea, well, that and the relentless boner that still hadn't gone away.

After spending the rest of the time eating, thinking about how he should word what he had planned, he stood up. The entire hall suddenly went silent and you could feel the anticipation.

Everyone, I have a number of announcements to make," he said loudly and clearly to the room, "As I advised yesterday. Occasionally I am given information I am allowed to share by Lady Magic. All of my instructions must be written verbatim in the Daily Prophet. These words I will provide have come directly from Magic herself, so I need absolute silence please until I am finished."

Everyone in the hall waited with bated breath, there was not even a clink of silverware on plates.

"These announcements came to me this morning the moment I woke up. If you'd like to know how it feels, the closest I can describe it is that somehow, it's like when you finally discover something for the first time. It's an instinct, like the feeling you get when you see fire. You instinctively know the truth of its danger, and so when Lady Magic gave me these messages I know the truth of them, to my very core and so should you. As I said, please, silence until I am finished.

"Firstly, Magic wishes me to put all doubt aside and tell you that I, Harry Potter did not put my name into the Goblet of Fire. While she knows who did it, she has not yet granted me the knowledge, though I wish I knew why. Secondly, Sirius Black never received a trial. He is innocent and must receive a trial as soon as possible."

Muttering erupted from all around the hall but Dumbledore almost bounced to his feet with a face like thunder.

"Harry needs absolute silence. Quiet, all of you," he shouted.

Harry nodded his thanks and noticed Professor Snape glaring at him like a sulking child. Schooling his features to try not to smirk at his immediate idea for a little extra unplanned announcement, Harry continued.

"You should know as I do that the education of magical children is something very important. Severus Snape, you must stop favouring students from your own house of Slytherin over the other houses. You should be impartial at all times and cease all bullying of any students."

Snape looked like he'd just eaten a lemon, but nodded almost imperceptibly and then glared at the students and faculty all looking over to him.

"Now, I have been told that As the chosen Prophet of Magic, I am to be exempt from all school rules and laws as I have been ordained due to being inherently good. In fact, to punish me is to punish magic itself."

Muttering started to erupt again, but Harry was surprised to see some people already nodding as if they knew this would be necessary anyway. Dumbledore simply stood and this rendered everyone silent.

'Nice one,' Harry thought to himself, 'Good addition on the fly, now what about the Siren mission? How was I gonna word this again?'

Now, Magic feels that our country is stagnating and due to repeated inbreeding, it has affected our population. She says a combination of some purebloods only mating with purebloods and of our society's general prudishness towards sex has caused an unfortunate stunting in the size of the magical population. Therefore, she thinks we must encourage magical intercourse, and the first change, the consequences of this she will observe before perhaps adding more is that while pregnancy while at school is not recommended, all women of breeding age and who are at least eighteen or older should wear matching lingerie designed to arouse in their daily lives, the sexier the better, preferably from muggle stores like Ann Summers until magical versions can be created.

Finally, as Prophet of Magic, I should receive my own lavish quarters near the Gryffindor common room if possible, which is password protected by portrait of course, and I should be allowed to bring anyone in there I wish as it will always act as my private meeting room.

This is because Lady Magic has informed me that on occasion, she will give me confidential messages to share with others. She will tell me if the recipient of those messages is allowed to share the information, but they are to be treated as strictly confidential until declared otherwise.

Thank you all for your time and attention."

Harry sat back down to an explosion of noise and chatting. He of course was immediately battered by questions from all sides by the Gryffindors.

"Guys, I'll try and answer some of the questions you have, but one at a time and remember there may be answers I don't know as I just can't give them yet."

Angelina was the first one to jump in, asking "How do we know that the lingerie we've buy sexy enough?"

"You can ask the man you wish to share it with and if there is no man at the moment, you can ask me privately and I'll let you know."

"All of us?" asked Ginny.

"Within reason, as much as I would love to spend my time looking at how beautiful I'm sure you will all look, I do have studies to attend to, don't be insulted if I can't right then."

This seemed to get an in-sync chorus of giggles and acknowledgement from the girls, but then Penelope Clearwater, who was listening from the Ravenclaw table stood and waved at him.

'Hi. God this is embarrassing, but what if we don't like wearing underwear?"

"No underwear is fine as long as you are comfortable."

"Does she have a preference for pubic hair?" interjected Lavender.

"Hold on, I'll see if I can get a message," Harry said, holding his hand to his chest.

"Are you touching that symbol that was there after the task?" asked Percy.

"Yes, that's how I communicate with her," Harry replied.

"Can you ask her if I'll get an O on my potions?" asked another Ravenclaw from behind them.

"Can you ask her if she'll bless my family?" asked a Hufflepuff from their table.

Harry realised that everyone had gone very quiet and was listening intently to the conversation..

"Guys, stop. You should all know that I know what questions I can and cannot ask and she considers asking me to ask her questions extremely rude."

This led to a collective groan of 'awwww' from the entire hall.

"Lavender, she said she would monitor the male preferences of the magical population and then decide," Harry answered.

Everyone nodded enthusiastically.

"I think that's all the questions she will answer. Now, I need to speak to our headmaster."

The chatter once again turned up to eleven as Harry got up and walked toward the teachers' table.

"For heaven's sake, Severus, you don't need to take what Potter said that literally," said Professor McGonagall to Snape, who was staring at the food on the table in front of him, "He meant to be impartial about how you treat the students, not have no opinions whatsoever to the point where you can't decide whether you prefer marmalade or jam."

"As much as I hate Potter being the Prophet of Magic, the Goddess said I must be impartial. I've always thought, "I'm partial to a bit of jam, but I can't be partial, I must be impartial. I dare not upset the goddess of magic."

"Why don't you have a slice of toast with both?" McGonagall asked, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Ah yes, I'll do that," Snape said as if it solved his conundrum.

"But you know," said Flitwick to his left, not liking Harry being the Prophet is the opposite of being impartial.

With a look of horror, Snape dropped the knife he was holding onto his plate with a clatter.

Amused, Harry finished approaching the table, stepping in front of Professor Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore, you requested a meeting," said Harry genially.

"Yes my boy, let's go," said the Headmaster, getting to his feet. "I'd like to enjoy the rest of my Sunday, plenty to do."

As Dumbledore walked around the staff table to him, Harry looked back over at Snape, who was alternating between staring at him with a terribly conflicted expression and at the slices of toast in each hand, taking a bite of the one with jam and then a bite of the one with marmalade and then tilting his head awkwardly.

As he and Dumbledore ambled back down the Great Hall to the main doors, Harry worried that he needed to be a bit more specific in future, He decided to spend a bit more thought on and write down any more announcements before he gave them. He'd probably help Snape out sooner or later, but he at least wanted to see what he was like in Potions class tomorrow morning before doing anything, just for shits and giggles.

"Mr Potter! Mr Potter!" Harry heard at the moment he and Dumbledore crossed the threshold out of the Great Hall. Inwardly, he groaned as the irritating, bespectacled form of Rita Skeeter rushed up from behind them from the end of the Slytherin table, where those from the Ministry and the Daily Prophet had been seated for their meals for the duration of the tournament.

"Yes, Rita?" Harry said tiredly. He'd already had more than enough of this woman to last him a lifetime.

"How does it feel to be the Prophet of Magic? Why do you think she chose you? The wizarding public wants to know," the reporter said very fast, already with a quill to a small notepad.

"Humbling. And I wouldn't presume to know, Rita," Harry replied.

"When would you be free for an exclusive interview?"

Harry paused, perhaps an interview wouldn't be a bad idea if he wanted to get a bit of information out, but there was no way he would have it be restricted to the Prophet, "I don't give exclusive interviews." he said.

"So you would do a press conference?" she pressed.

"Provided none of those horrible Quick Quotes Quills are used and what I say is written verbatim."

"Of course," Rita said like he'd just said something very stupid, "When I write what you say, it must be word for word."

'Good,' Harry thought to himself, 'I know that part worked, she won't be able to twist my words anymore.' "Okay," he replied, "Please don't hound me to set one up and I will let you know."

"But the people deserve to know more, Harry, you're such an important person now." Rita said, fluttering her eyelashes, the 'well past her prime' woman seemingly trying to butter him

"Okay, then don't hound me for one. I will let you know. Until then, please do your job properly without spreading gossip."

"But will you at least give me a rough idea of when?" Rita whined.

"You're bugging me already, Rita, what did I just say?"

"You said not to hound you," she sighed.

'She's right,' Harry thought to himself, 'I didn't make her believe she shouldn't bug me, I just told her not to, that's the distinction. But ugh, she's so irritating.'

"Well, I tell you what," Harry thought, forming a fun idea in his mind, "I can tell you now that you should want to be the best reporter in the world."

"Oh I do, Harry, I do," Rita assured him.

"Good," Harry replied, and then leading forward, he whispered into her ear, "Well you should also know, as everyone else does but never talks about, that the best journalist in the world would be the first one who publishes an authentic article on what it's like to get double-teamed by the Weasley twins."

Rita tilted her head back and looked at him in wonder.

"Where are they?" she asked, her eyes filled with the spark of inspiration.

"Just in there," Harry said, smirking and pointing back into the Great Hall. Fred and George wouldn't know what hit them.

"Thank you!" she replied excitedly and without another word, she left their side and swept back into the Great Hall.

"What did you tell her, Harry?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"Her private words from the Goddess," answered Harry cryptically.

"I see," Dumbledore replied with a frown.

They began to walk through the entrance hall towards the Grand Staircase and up to Dumbledore's office, or so Harry thought until: -

"I had your room set up by several house elves from the moment you finished your speech, my boy, it wouldn't do to upset the Goddess. If we take a slow stroll and walk and talk, I'm sure it will be ready by the time we arrive,"

"Brilliant," Harry replied as they slowly ascended the first of many staircases.

"You're very convincing of late, Harry," Dumbledore said at his side, "It is most strange. Usually, I would've insisted on a meeting immediately yesterday, but I somehow knew that what you were telling me was the right thing."

"Ah, I can reveal a small bit of info about that, Professor."

"Go on."

"Sometimes, Lady Magic advises me to say some things like the announcements to people and has a way of making them utterly convincing. I can feel its utter convincing…ness, for lack of a better word when I say them. Sometimes she doesn't tell me why I say what I say and I don't even consciously decide to say them, I just do. It's a little bit uncomfortable to be out of control like that, to be honest."

"I see, do you have any other examples?"

"Well, it's like when I make the announcements. When I'm saying them it's almost like it's not just me saying them, but I can feel her in them as well."

"Fascinating."

"It is."

They stepped quietly for several moments, their steps echoing up the large staircase they'd found themselves upon.

"Tell me, if you can, about what happened during the second task," Dumbledore said.

"You know you shouldn't ask about what happened with Lady Magic, Professor."

"I'm aware, I want to know what happened beforehand."

Harry then regaled Dumbledore the entire tale of the second task, from putting the Gillyweed in his mouth all the way up to the moment he untied Gabrielle from the obelisk.

"And then I met her," Harry finished, "I can say no more from that point."

"Alas," Dumbledore said, his shoulders sagging, "I know you can't tell me much but what can you at least tell me?"

"I can tell you that being near her was like being in, amongst, around and within true beauty itself."

Dumbledore sighed dreamily. Harry tried not to smirk. Honestly, they would believe just about anything!

"Is there anything else?" Dumbledore asked as they reached the landing of Gryffindor Tower's staircase below the one to the Gryffindor common room and portrait of the Fat Lady. It was at this point, that they turned off.

Harry stopped where he was, put his hand on his chest and closed his eyes in thought.

"What are you doing?"

"She's sending me a message,"

The headmaster's eyes opened wide with excitement."

"Really?"

"Yeah, hold on."

"I see," Harry said, nodding to himself cryptically.

"What did she say?"

"I don't know if you will be happy about this, Professor."

"Speak it, I must hear her words." Dumbledore pressed.

"She said it would please her if you wore thigh-high black leather, six-inch high-heeled boots under your clothes when you are not in your office."

"Did she?" Dumbledore said, his eyes opened excitedly, and Harry swore he started tearing up, "She knows me, Harry, she knows me!"

"What?" Harry said, eyes blinking.

"I bought a pair just like you were describing last week in London."

Harry tried his best not to burst out laughing.

"Are there any other messages?" Dumbledore asked as they resumed their walking.

"I can feel there is something soon, but it's currently blocked out. The messages only come for me to convey right at the proper moment so far."

"Very well," Dumbledore replied, "Ah, we're here."

Harry turned and looked around him and saw the door to the very charms classroom he'd been in with the others late last night.

"The old charms classroom?" Harry said, confusedly.

"No my boy," Albus said with a smile, "This large portrait here, is the Nemean Lion and is the entrance to your new quarters. I can feel that the room is ready. As the headmaster, I need only knock three times and it will open, but once inside and alone you need simply knock thrice from the other side and speak your password to set it. You yourself won't need to give the password to enter, once you've set it, just knock like I'll demonstrate, the setting of the password is merely for the case you want to give it to someone else."

"Brilliant," Harry said, "Can we go in?"

"Certainly."

After three sharp raps on the portrait frame, the lion roared and after raising a particularly lethal-looking claws-out paw, the painting swung open to reveal a lit spiral staircase.

"Enjoy, Harry," Dumbledore said, "I need to go and speak to the Minister. I'm sure he is already here wanting to discuss the backlash about Sirius never getting a trial."

"Okay Professor, see you later."

After watching Dumbledore leave, Harry pulled the portrait closed and following the headmaster's guidance, set the new password.

His new room was absolutely wonderful. It was almost as big as the Gryffindor common room and because it had very similar decor, immediately felt like home. There was a four-poster bed like in the Gryffindor dorms, but rather than a single, it was huge and could easily sleep four or five people. His trunk was there already, and not only were his books sorted onto a bookshelf, but his clothes hung up and resized for him. Praising Dumbledore for that one, he went to check out his new bathroom, which had a walk-in shower and a lovely big bath. Grinning he walked back to his new bed and kicked off his shoes. Placing his wand on a bedside table, he then laid back atop the soft crimson sheets. His late night and full belly catching up to him, he drifted off to sleep.

By the time he naturally woke up, it was already well past midday. He sighed, annoyed with himself for missing lunch but nevermind. After everything that had happened, now, with a clear head he could think about things properly and had a long chat with himself:

'God, seven babies by seven women before I'm seventy!'

'Relax, Potter, it shouldn't be too hard, that's ages.'

'But the girls I'm likely to meet around my age are already here aren't they?'

'Probably,' Harry shrugged to himself, 'Could just go with the hottest ones.'

'Yeah but what if they're arseholes?'

'Once you've made them come, they can't betray you and will want to be close to you anyway, remember?'

'Doesn't mean they won't be arseholes.'

'You don't know that. Some of them might be nice.'

'Some of them are hot and evil though, like Pansy.'

'Could just shag Pansy and then tell her you shouldn't be together or something.

'God, why am I thinking like this, they're still people.'

'Because you're now perpetually horny, gotta spread that seed!'

Fair. I should start with the ones that are hot first, then vet their personality.

'But like…having kids with them, that's a huge thing.'

'Yeah, but we can choose who we impregnate, remember? Could wait til sixty or something and just shag seven random witches if you don't find seven people you want to have kids with by then.

'Yeah okay but after year seven of this, anyone I shag will get pregnant, and I ain't being celibate til I'm in my sixties.'

'Okay, focus, Potter, who do you think of first?'

'Hermione, obviously, I mean I wanted her even before I saw how unbelievable her body is. Lavender has bigger tits but I swear Hermione's will be like page three. And that hip-to-waist flare-out.

'And she just wears sexy lingerie under her clothes normally apparently, after last night. Plus, you know it's Hermione, she's my best friend.'

'What about Lavender?'

'Meh, too obsessed with appearances. The sex was good, but let's face it I don't have much to compare it with.'

'Fleur Delacour? Sex with a veela is bound to be unreal and when kissed you felt how she likes to be in control, that could be fun.'

'We'll have to see if she's as much of a decent person as she is hot.'

'She said to go to her carriage.'

'And be at her beck and call? No way.'

'Hmm who else is hot? Let's do the houses. Gryffindor.'

'Ginny. My God, how great was her arse last night. You can practically see it from the front, plus, you know, love the Weasleys.'

'And she's fiery and passionate about things and she makes you laugh'

'Okay, Ginny's in, Parvati?'

'I dunno, she's a lot like Lavender.'

'Could be great in the sack though and you could try to have her sister at the same time.'

True. It's a maybe.'

'Romilda Vane.'

'No way, not for babies. She's hot but way too fangirly even before the second task.'

'Could see what she'd be willing to do though, is that creepy?''

'Nah, you're an 18-year-old siren, it's not like you can make her do anything that she isn't comfortable with anyway, and you know she's a freak.'

'The Quidditch girls.'

'Gotta try for a foursome, though I don't know if Angelina fancies me, we will have to see. Her ass is massive. Love black girl genetics.'

'Katie and Alicia are pretty too and obviously fit, but Alicia has no boobs. I'm a boob man.'

'Who are you kidding, you're an everything man'

'Katie is lovely though, just a beauty and always kind.'

'But she's Alicia's lapdog though, and Angelina's always been kind of…bitchy…too harsh?

'Strong-willed?

'Yeah, that's better.'

'Hufflepuff'

'Hannah Abbott?'

'Nah, Neville likes her. I should try and give him more confidence somehow so he can ask her out.'

'Yeah, definitely.'

'Susan Bones?'

Well, you know, legend says her boobs are bigger than Lavenders.'

'Ah but are they better than Hermione's?'

'Only one way to find out, plus she's always been nice, and her aunt is like the head of the Aurors or something. Ooh, I wonder if she's hot too.'

'Anyone else in Hufflepuff?'

'No one springs to mind.'

'Ravenclaw.'

'Percy's girlfriends hot, Penelope Clearwater. Her hair is so long. it goes down to her butt and it's a good butt. And she puts up with Percy, though I dunno why. Should I really consider breaking them up? Do I wanna be that guy?'

'Probably not.'

'Okay, so maybe Penelope if they break up. Boundaries established.'

'Mandy Brocklehurst?'

'Maybe.'

'Cho?'

'She's with Cedric, damn'

Boundaries are boundaries. Ugh, I hate boundaries.'

'Okay, what about that blonde one, Luna Lovegood?'

"The one they call Looney? I've only heard Ginny say her name in passing, but she's cute. I could try talking to her and see what she's like.'

'Slytherin?'

'Pansy?'

'Nah, if anything it would be a fuck and chuck but I don't really wanna fuck someone I don't like.'

'Millicent?'

'No fucking way. Why disgust yourself?'

'Pansy and Millicent come together.'

'Not with me they don't.'

'Daphne Greengrass? She's never been mean.'

'Ice queen. She froze Nott's nuts off.'

'Ha! Notts nuts. Easily tied with Hermione for prettiest girl in our year though. And Seamus said he saw her in Diagon wearing a pencil skirt and swears her butt is better than Ginny's '

'Tracey? Her friend?'

'Hmmm nah.'

'Okay. Decisions made for now. Who am I kidding? Not even close.'

'Oh fuck. You know what? Even if I do pick the seven girls I want for my first choices, how many of them are going to want a relationship with someone whose also with several other women?'

'For fuck's sake.'