Chapter 15: Kappa Mikey and Guano VI - The Motion Picture:

This chapter takes place during the Oikawa Arc

The Fel-Oni was prepared to rob the bank.

"Time to make some money," he said.

"Not so fast," says the Semi-Retired Kappa Mikey.

"You won't catch me," says Fel-Oni.

"You seem to have missed one thing," says Kappa Mikey.

"What's that?"

"You parked in a tow-away zone!"

A tow truck takes away Fel-Oni's car.

"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!"

The End

The whole thing was being viewed by the Kappa Mikey Fan Club.

"Kappa Fans, Unite!"

"Unite!"

"As you all know, Nickelodeon Studios is now finally making a Kappa Mikey Movie!"

The fans all cheer.

"And guess what, the stars of the movie are here now!"

The stars appear, but they're not Kappa Mikey and Guano.

Patamon notices and walks over to them. "You're not Kappa Mikey and Guano! You're... fakes!"

"Look, whatever you are," says one of the actors, "Kappa Mikey's too old to be staring in an action movie."

"Kappa Mikey's timeless!" Patamon then stands on the desk. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say we won't stand for these two phony-baloneys ruining the good name of our heroes. No right-minded Kappa Mikey and Guano society member would ever pay to see this... this celluloid hoax. I say we boycott this movie! Now who's with me?"

Patamon and Armadillomon are then tossed out.

...

Kappa Mikey and Guano are playing bingo.

"B-47!"

"Banjo!"

"It's Bingo," says Guano as he puts his hand on Kappa Mikey's back.

"Get your hands off me woman," says Kappa Mikey as he slaps Guano's hand away.

"Z-12!"

Patamon and Armadillomon enter. "Are you aware that Nickelodeon Studios is making a Kappa Mikey and Guano movie?"

"They can't be making a movie without us," says Guano.

"But they are! And they're using... actors!"

Kappa Mikey and Guano gasp.

"They have shunned our heroes," says Patamon.

"And they weren't nice, neither," says Armadillomon.

"Now our dreams of being big screen heroes will never come true," says Kappa Mikey.

"Well, that makes it even worse," says Patamon.

"You bet it does, Kid," says Guano.

"And the worst part is I can't remember why I started crying," says Kappa Mikey.

"Why don't we just make our own movie," says Armadillomon.

"Armodillomon, once again, you have exposed your brilliance," says Patamon, "we'll make a real Kappa Mikey and Guano movie. Right here."

"You will," says Kappa Mikey.

"Yes! And in doing so, we will right the wrong done to you by the evil Nickelodeon Studios and... their actors."

I would like to say I have nothing against Nickelodeon.

Kappa Mikey jumps on the table. "Vindication is ours! Vindi... how did I get up here?"

...

Patamon and Armadillomon were working on their movie.

"Okay, what do we need to start a movie," asks Patamon.

"Popcorn?"

"No, Armadillomon, to start making a movie. Let's start with a title.

"How'bout "Adventures in the Robot Planet"."

"Great, what happens?"

"Well, there's a planet."

Patamon works on the typewriter. "Planet..."

"And there are robots."

"Robots..."

"And they have adventures."

"Adventures..."

"The End."

"End. That's great, but it seems kind of short."

"I have an idea. Let's make it longer."

"Longer, yes. Okay, let's have Kappa Mikey gets his face shrunk by Fel-Oni's face shrinker."

"Yeah, and then he...uuuuuuuuummmmmmmmm...he drinks...cheese coffee."

"Good one, Armodillomon."

"What are you guys doing," asks Mimi.

"We're making a movie," says Patamon.

"Hey, maybe I can put some of my designs in it."

"Sounds good to me," says Patamon.

...

Everyone is at the retirement center.

"Let's meet the highly skilled professionals who will help us fulfill your dream of being on the big screen. Gatomon will handle the stunts and explosions." Gatomon holds up a bomb. "Mimi's got the costumes. DigiTamemon will cater the affair. Armadillomon will run the camera." Armadillomon knocks down the camera and gets tangled up in a roll. "This is Veemon. He's in charge of the makeup department."

"What? That's it, I'm out of here." Veemon sees the buffet. "What's that?"

"That would be the buffet," says DigiTamemon.

"Well, I suppose I can give this job a try."

...

Veemon takes a good look at Kappa Mikey and Guano. "This seems like the kind of thing a professional would take seriously. Good thing I don't know what I'm doing." Veemon then starts beating Kappa Mikey and Guano around.

...

"Okay, I fixed up Jiraiya and Master Roshi," says Veemon.

Kappa Mikey and Guano look horrible.

"They're beautiful! They look just like they did 30 years ago. Okay, action!"

Gatomon causes an explosion. "I love my new job."

"Good job, Gatomon."

"Psst." Patamon looks and sees Mummymon with a wig. "I, Gonard, have returned to seek my revenge and banish your souls to the Spirit World. Their defenses are strong, but they are no match for my Gonard Ray."

"What are you doing," asks Patamon.

"Patamon, this role was made for me."

"That villain isn't even in this movie. But let me see if we have something that fits your qualifications. Oh, here's something." Patamon hands Mummymon a microphone stand. "You can be the boom operator."

"I thought Gatomon was the boom operator."

"Did somebody say boom?" Gatomon causes an explosion.

"All right," says Mummymon, "but you're squandering my talents."

"Okay, let's start the movie."

Take 1.

"We have to get back to those swollen rice balls."

"Cut," says Patamon, "no, Kappa Mikey, it's Stolen rice balls."

Take 2.

"We have to get back to those stolen ice balls."

"Cut," says Patamon, "no, Kappa Mikey, it's Stolen rice balls."

Take 3.

"We have to get back to those stolen rice balls! And if we don't stop that diabolical scoundrel..."

Mummymon drops the boom mic. "My bad."

"I knew this was a bad idea," says Guano.

"Cut," says Patamon, "Mummymon, next time, could you keep the boom out of the shot? Other than that, you're doing a super job."

"This is humiliating," says Mummymon, "I'm not cut out for this boom thing."

"Did somebody say boom?" Gatomon causes an explosion.

"Okay, action!"

"To the Invisible Gundam!"

Kappa Mikey and Guano are being carried by Ken and Yolei.

"Remind me again why they don't use the real thing," says Yolei.

"Cue the sound effects," says Patamon.

Yolei does a bad robot impression.

"Listen to that engine purr," says Kappa Mikey.

"Almost there," says Patamon.

The assistant grabs the edge of the cliff, but it breaks off causing them to slide down, over a curved slope and into the air. Armadillomon aims the camera so that it's directly on Yolei, Ken, the assistant, Kappa Mikey, and Guano. Then they come crashing down onto the set.

"Everything's ruined," says Patamon, "well, at least we got the footage."

"Yeah, Ah the footage," says Armadillomon.

"Armadillomon, what's that?"

"Oh, it's a camera."

"No, Armadillomon, this." Patamon takes off the lens cap.

"Oh, that's a lens cap."

"Did you just put that on?"

"Yup, Ah didn't want to lose it, so Ah put it there right before we started filmin'."

Patamon screams and goes insane, scoots his butt on the ground, lifts up piece of ground, and eats worms on bottom side. Everyone gasps. "The movie's ruined! We can't make a movie!"

"Hey, little hero, this reminds me of the Episode 912," says Kappa Mikey, "we were surrounded. The Fel-Oni was to our right and their broccoli was on the side. But if there was one thing I remember, it was how to forget."

"Armadillomon, this is good. Roll the film."

"The rain in Spain stays mainly on the... space! The final countdown. Stick to the... stick to the... Lou, my darling! Lou!" Falls to the ground. "Now get out there and finish this movie, kid."

...

Everyone is at the school.

"So, anyone else coming to see it," asks Davis.

"Here they come," says Patamon, "the Kappa Mikey and Guano Fan Club. I knew you'd come to see the real Kappa Mikey and Guano movie."

"Actually, the real movie was sold out. I'll take 200 tickets, please."

The movie starts.

"Well, our big moment," says Guano, "us up on the big screen."

"Fort: Sox: Home to over five billion rice balls. What evil mastermind would dare infiltrate this fortified fort and make off with this treasure?" Patamon gets a Fel-Oni puppet. "It is I, Fel-Oni! Do what I do!"

"Stop," says Kappa Mikey, on screen, "you cannot take them!"

"Watch me!"

"Prepare to feel my wrath, you foul villain." Gatomon comes in as Kappa Mikey's stunt double and fights Fel-Oni. Then Kappa Mikey appears on screen again. "You may have won the rice balls, but the battle rages on." Real monkeys are fighting. "Kappa Mano, Unite!"

Patamon and Armadillomon are cheering, but pretty much everyone else is disappointed.

"Well, kid," says Kappa Mikey, "you showed the world that even though our steps may have been slowed, we still have a little action left in these heroic old bones.

"Well, at least some of them," says Guano.

Patamon, Armadillomon, Kappa Mikey, and Guano laugh.