Chapter 16: Kappa Mikey vs. Patamon:
This chapter takes place during the Oikawa Arc
The Further Adventures of Kappa Mikey and Guano!
Kappa Mikey and Guano have been captured by the evil Gonard! Tickled to the point of wetting themselves. And sent on a conveyor belt of doom to their graves.
"We cannot escape, Guano," says Kappa Mikey, "he's too strong. Like the unbeatable taste of the food at DigiTamemon's restaurant."
"The delicious foods no mortal can resist," asks Gonard.
"Yep," says Guano.
"I just love eating there."
Of course you do, Gonard. Everyone loves eating at DigiTamemon's restaurant.
"How can I be evil with flavors this good," asks Gonard.
Oikawa's watching the commercial.
"I wonder if anyone would really do as Kappa Mikey and Guano say."
...
Digimon are lined up at DigiTamemon's.
"I have to admit," says DigiTamemon, "getting Kappa Mikey and Guano to shoot for my restaurant was a brilliant idea."
"Isn't this great, Veemon," asks Patamon.
"Those kids tried to kill me," says Veemon.
"Yeah, but it's worth it," says Patamon.
...
"Hmm," says Oikawa, "I remember when I was a kid. I always did what superheroes said and I bet the kids today still do. I wouldn't know, because I've spent years obsessing over the Digital World and being sad about the loss of my friend. I still miss him. Well, time to get my mind off of it before I get too sad."
...
At the retirement center, Oikawa knocks on the door.
"Hello boys."
Kappa Mikey and Guano are sleeping, then they wake up.
"Who are you," asks Kappa Mikey.
"Professor Oikawa, door to door salesman. My card."
Kappa Mikey looks at it.
"You know, you two look like a couple of ladies men." Close up of Kappa Mikey and Guano. "I knew it. Just look at that heroic chin. Those chiseled features. That cape. But what's this? Dandruff?"
"I've got dandruff," asks Kappa Mikey.
"You sure do," says Oikawa as he pours some soap flakes down Kappa Mikey's back. "See?"
"Oh my!"
Oikawa's about to put some on Guano, only to see Guano does have dandruff. "A couple of studs like you can't go on like this. Lucky for you, Professor Oikawa's come prepared with Professor Oikawa's Dandruff Control Shampoo. This stuff will make the ladies break down your door."
"Give us some, Professor," Kappa Mikey and Guano said."
"Wise choice."
Oikawa rubs the shampoo on their heads. Kappa Mikey and Guano are hypnotized. "Wait a minute, this isn't Professor Oikawa's dandruff control shampoo, it's Professor Oikawa's mind control shampoo! With conditioner. I have such plans for you two."
...
All the kids are lined up to see Kappa Mikey and Guano at the Convenience Store.
"Patamon," says Yolei, "go find Kappa Mikey and Guano!"
"I'm on it!" Patamon leaves.
...
Patamon goes to the retirement center and find everyone looking like a maniac kicked their butts. Patamon finds Kappa Mikey and Guano and they look terrifying.
"Oh my gosh," says Patamon, "you guys live in a dump. But we don't have time for that now. We gotta take you back to the Convenience Store for your big appearance. I'll take ya." Kappa Mikey starts beating Patamon. "Wow, I haven't seen the spine thrasher since..." Kappa Mikey continues to beat Patamon. "Since Episode 647." Kappa Mikey continues to beat Patamon. "When you thrashed that guy's spine." Patamon gets up. "You still got it."
...
A news anchorman talks. "We're just moments away from an important press conference with Kappa Mikey and Guano. I have with me here, a girl named Yolei. Any thoughts? Remember, all of Japan is watching."
"All of Japan?" Yolei freezes up.
"Okay, we'll come back to you later."
Patamon comes crashing in. "Ladies and Gentlemen," says Patamon, "I present Kappa Mikey and Guano!"
There's a device in Kappa Mikey's ear.
"Kappa Mikey, what would you like to say to these kids?"
"This is too easy," says Oikawa, "now tell the children..." Oikawa whispers.
"I, Kappa Mikey say... what?"
"Tell the children to go to Oikawa's place!"
"Time to go chilling at Holly Cow's Place? Guano, we have to..." Falls asleep.
"TELL THEM TO COME TO MY PLACE!"
Kappa Mikey's sleeping.
Oikawa then increases the power.
"Kappa Mikey," says Patamon, "want a rice ball?"
"Ooh, a rice ball," says Kappa Mikey, "why these things are..." Oikawa takes control. "Hey, kids, follow us to Oikawa's place."
"Oikawa must be behind this," says Patamon.
Kappa Mikey and Guano are about to move, but Patamon shows up in front of them. "Hold it right there," says Patamon, "you forgot your rice balls!"
Kappa Mikey and Guano start drooling.
"Those rice balls could free Kappa Mikey and Guano," says Oikawa, "forget the rice balls and lead the kids!"
Kappa Mikey and Guano continue walking.
"Not so fast," says Patamon, "you're not dealing with an ordinary Digimon. It's time for you to meet Ange... oh, wait." Digivolves. "Angemon!"
Kappa Mikey and Guano attempt to get past him, but Angemon throws two rice balls to them, but he misses. Angemon then grabs the two and makes them eat the rice balls. "It's over, Oikawa! Now watch as the rice balls work their magic."
Everyone's waiting for something. Guano even checks his watch. Oikawa then shrugs. "Lead the children!"
Kappa Mikey and Guano continue.
"I did it," says Oikawa, "I did it! Look at all these kids."
"So, uh, now what," asks a kid.
"Well, to be honest," says Oikawa, "I never thought I'd get this far."
...
Angemon is trying to figure out what went wrong. "It doesn't make sense," says Angemon, "they should've been cured... Wait! Kappa Mikey and Guano are elderly. Their stomachs are having a hard time digesting the rice balls. I think I know what to do."
...
Angemon arrives at Oikawa's place with a fiber truck and stuffs the fiber down Kappa Mikey and Guano's throats, freeing them from Oikawa's control.
"I'm back to my old self again," says Kappa Mikey, "thanks to you, Pata... angel... whatever."
"And the power of rice balls," says Angemon.
"Say, let's get these kids out of here and away from that weirdo," says Kappa Mikey.
"And to a place with a decent latrine," says Guano, who just came out of Oikawa's bathroom.
Angemon, Kappa Mikey, and Guano then lead the kids out.
"Okay kids," says Oikawa, "I'm afraid the only movies I have available are too adult for you, so..." He sees the kids are gone. "Well, at least I still have the kids I already gave dark spores to."
