Can I see your big gun?

When Rhyder at last closed Dani's personal files, he wished he could forget every word he 'd just read. Better yet, he wished he'd never gotten the files at all. He'd seen many horrors in his life, many he had learned to take in stride over time, but he would never understand the horrors inflicted upon defenseless children.

She had just been a baby! He thought to himself, feeling sick and dirty from the knowledge he now possessed.

A timid knock on the door pulled him from his reverie. His anger and frustration caused him to bark at the person standing outside, a bit harsher than he intended. He even flinched himself. He immediately regretted it when he saw the person entering his office.

Shit! "Dani, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bite your head off. I just . . . Bit of a bad mood. Shouldn't have taken it out on you. How are you feeling?"

Then he realized what he just said and how Dani had reacted to those same words earlier.

"Oh crap, you're not gonna run off again are you?"

She attempted a small smile but she didn't quite manage it. "Before I go, I wanted to give you this. And . . . say thank you," she said quietly.

"Before you go? You know something I don't?" Her statement threw him back a bit.

"I requested a return to Earth. You don't have to bother though. A shuttle will pick me up and bring me to the SSV Trafalgar. You can decide the drop off location at your convenience."

So formal and disquieted. He decided he didn't like that in Dani, at all.

"You requested a return to Earth, without consulting your commanding officer first?"

She blinked a couple of times. He could practically see the little gears turning. His teasing tone went completely by her. She was all nerves.

"Does this mean you want to leave? You, don't like it here?" He tried to sound as kind and reassuring as he could, hoping it wouldn't set her off again. He was met with more silence.

"Look, if you're worried about Ashley and Kaidan . . . Ashley is a good soldier but she can be a bit narrow minded. Kaidan is bit of a stick in the mud but he really isn't a bad guy. From what I hear, you deliver some good work here. And don't think the small upgrade in my armor went unnoticed. Thanks by the way."

It was difficult to see how an intelligent mind like hers, had trouble grasping the concept of a simple compliment.

"I don't understand," she finally managed to get out. "I thought . . . You 'd want me to leave. But you don't sound like you do. Even though maybe you should."

"Dani, I would like to make a deal with you, okay?" Rhyder said, seeing her mask falter again.

"If you really want to leave because you think it's best for you, or just because you want to, I won't stand in your way. Just, don't leave because you think it's what others want."

Her eyes were large and bright with tears she refused to let go. And judging from the clenching and unclenching of her fists, the twitching muscles in her jaw, it was taking a lot of effort. It was the first time he saw this much emotion in her. Usually her mask was firmly in place. Maybe he'd struck some cord within her?

"You had something you wanted to show or give to me?" He looked pointedly at her file, wanting to change the subject. She clutched it to her chest, suddenly unwilling to hand it over.

"Or maybe not," he said with a chuckle.

"I . . . " she licked her lips. "Um, I could work on this myself. I just need a gun. Preferably a sniper rifle. And some . . . stuff . . . to implement it, some equipment, tools perhaps."

"Sniper rifle? Garrus is gonna have a field day with that!"

Wrong joke to the wrong person! He wanted to bite off and chew his tongue when he saw her freeze up again. Damn!

"Oh come on," Lighten the mood Shepard! "He's not that bad. He's not gonna eat you, you know."

Crap, definitely wrong thing to say! "He's a sweetheart, just with teeth. No, wait . . . that came out wrong. He's . . . Just imagine him wearing a dress when you talk to him, that ought to bring the scare factor down. Great, now I made you cry. Look, you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. . . "

Dani had covered the lower part of her face with the file and he could hear a strange muffled noise. It took a while before it connected in his mind.

"Wait, you're not crying! Are you . . . laughing?"

Having been caught, Dani slowly lowered the file, she bit her lip and though she'd stopped laughing, a smile was still present.

"I think it's best, if I don't mention to . . . Garrus," she tried the turian's name with caution as if saying it out loud might summon him by magic. "That you think he's a sweetheart. . . with teeth . . ."

Her eyes sparkled with humor and for the smallest moment, Rhyder caught a glimpse of the person Dani might have been. He hoped that person was still there, just buried deep inside. Because, something that's buried can be dug up again.

"Why do I have a feeling you have a wicked sense of humor, Dani Pryde?" he smirked. "I'd be much obliged because I'd never live it down. About the stuff you mentioned, you can order anything you need . . . " He paused and considered her for a moment. "Do the universe a favor. Don't try your hand at blackmail. They'd never see you coming. Now, go and do your thing before I dig more holes I can't crawl out of!"

With Shepard's authorization to get what she needed, Dani hurried to Engineering, feeling lighter than she'd ever felt in years.
She'd given long thought to how she wanted to realize her idea. Probably even too long, considering how it had gotten her mind trapped. All the variables she had to consider had overwhelmed her. But, the answer had stared her right in the face, quite literally in fact, the moment he'd brought her back and she'd found herself blinking into those intense predatory eyes. And . . . his visor.

If she hadn't been so scared of him in the first place, she would have thought of it much sooner. Now, she just needed to examine his visor and pick apart his sniper rifle.

She stepped into Engineering when the elevator door slid open but when she caught a glimpse of him, she stopped dead in her tracks. The mere sight of him sent her heart rate in critical overdrive.

Even the krogan, Wrex, didn't instill this kind of mortal fear in her. Even though she was well versed with their brute strength and battle prowess and even though his gruff ways merely underlined what she already knew, it was Garrus who scared the living daylights out of her.

Looking at him, she didn't see the mild mannered turian most of the crew seemed to see. Garrus, for her, was the epitome of imminent danger on the wings of death. Granted, she knew not a lot about turian anatomy but one glance during their first introduction and she was already drawing similarities between him and some long extinct creatures. Watching Garrus was like watching some pervert hybrid of a Utah raptor, ceratosaurus, with a bit of deinonychus mixed in, just for good measure. It wasn't fair to him, she knew that, she just couldn't help but feel like prey on a silver platter in front of him.

Just a sweetheart . . . with teeth. Not helping. Just, ask for the visor, his gun and be done with it. She steeled herself and determined not to make an ass of herself, she strode in his direction.

He was crouched down next to the Mako, doing some repairs and didn't seem to notice her approach. Or was he pretending not to notice? She was still standing a couple of feet away but that was more than close enough for her. Should she try and draw his attention? The more she lingered, the more she felt her bravado dissipating. All she really wanted was get her hands on that visor and gun, preferably without interacting with him. Maybe she could ask Ashley or Wrex for help? No, that would be the cowardice way. Not only would they see her as a whiny coward, but letting someone else ask was just plain rude in her opinion. Like she considered it beneath her to ask him personally. If she wanted something from him, she should at least have the guts to ask for it herself.
Now, where were those things when you actually needed them?

She could feel sweat itching down her spine. It made the velvet fabric of her burgundy tunic stick to her back. Usually the high collared, buttoned up tunic made her feel safe. Now it just made her feel like chicken in a pouch. To make things worse, she noticed how Wrex and Ashley settled their attention on her. Just say something, you spineless idiot! But her tongue seemed as useless as a chicken wire fuel tank. Ha, Alex would have laughed about that one!

Suddenly Garrus' hands stilled with what they were doing and he slowly raised himself from his crouched position. Dear God, he towered even higher above her than she remembered!

"Hello Dani, feeling better?" His voice was gentle, exactly as she remembered. There was a short moment, when his gaze settled upon her, that she felt like she would perish of fright. Until it dawned to her his eyes were as gentle as his voice. Nothing threatening about them. Yet.

She was pretty sure he could change this entire front of harmless appearance into something else, something much darker, in a heartbeat.

Wrong train of thought, Dani! Stick to the kind eyes!

She was ready to blatantly ask for his visor . . . and his gun . . . when she noticed something else in those twin pools of burning ice. Sadness. She would recognize that look even on a pyjak on Hallex. Before she knew it, her lips had already formed words. Just, not the words she had planned to say.

The small flicker in his eyes betrayed his surprise. She said it again.

"I'm sorry."

For a moment they just stood there, regarding each other. It's was a very fragile moment and Dani knew that for her, it was a defining moment as well. Either she thundered on to what she had come for and nothing would change. Or, she could own up to the faults of her own disposition. Rejecting others for fear of rejection, could hurt them just as much. Own up to that and perhaps, something could change.

"I haven't acted . . . respectful . . . around you. My conduct has been, um . . . Well, I'm not proud of it, anyway. And I'm ashamed that . . . even though I . . . while you . . ."

Okay, that didn't make sense. Try again!

"Dani, you don't have to . . . "

She shook her head vehemently and she was glad it made him stop.

"Not really good with words," she smiled nervously and took a big gulp of breath for attempt number two. "Thank you, for being there for me when I needed help and I'm sorry for being such an idiot around you."

And suddenly there was a heavy silence. Another thing Dani found difficult. Luckily, Garrus didn't have that handicap.

"You're welcome, Dani and . . . thank you. There really was no need for an apology but, I appreciate it nonetheless. And you are no idiot."

"No, reason? I shoved you back and made you topple over, chair and all!"

"Let's not make that public knowledge, okay? Besides, you had me imbalanced."

Silence descended between them for a while. She'd said sorry and really, she had no idea what else she could say to him.

"Can I ask you something?" She suddenly blurted out.

"Um, sure."

"Your visor, on what software does it run?"

"Oh, it was custom made. Based on the Kuwashii model. Same type of software I imagine, just – upgraded a bit."

"Kuwashii – Ariake Technologies. I can run with that," she replied, pondering about the hardware she had to work with. "Okay, one more thing. Can I see your big gun?"