There's some heavy duty snogging ahead in this chapter. Don't like, don't read. Thank you, reviewers, followers and readers who put me on their alert list. Please R & R as it makes me happy :-P

Paradise gained

When the first tears started coming, Dani fled to her bunk. Grief, guilt and disgust, they all poured from her eyes. It took her a while before she could gather herself. Her omni-tool didn't flash. She was pretty sure the briefing had ended, but there was no message from Garrus inviting her over.

Did she really need an invitation? Maybe he was waiting for her. That started a debate within herself. Go to him? Don't go to him? Leaving Kaidan behind on Virmire must have been rough on him. Maybe he'd rather be alone. Or, maybe he was hoping she'd come to him on her own terms.

But what if she did go and he'd rather be alone after all? Could she rely on herself to keep in mind that it would just be a need for being alone and not the stone cold rejection she'd experienced through her life? Dani made the decision and steeled herself. If he wanted to be alone, it was nothing personal. Just the need for some space. It was no rejection. It didn't mean he'd never want to talk with her again. All these arguments she kept in mind on her way to his personal quarters.

When she reached his room however, the red glow of the control panel on his door glaringly stared at her. Locked. Should she take meaning from it and just leave? The red glow practically screamed 'leave me alone, turn back and do not disturb'. Well, she was here. She could at least ask.
But, maybe then he would just let her in to be polite. Great, she had no fucking clue what to do or how to act. She'd probably fuck up either way.
She faltered a bit when she reached out to place her hand on the control panel.

"Garrus?" She called out. "Are you in there?" Immediately she rolled her eyes. Of all the stupid things she could say, she just had to state the obvious.
Of course he was in there! The big red warning light told her so!

He didn't answer, but the control panel suddenly lit up green. The door slid open and she quickly stepped inside. When the door closed behind her, she had to repress the urge to run away. Soon it didn't matter anyway because the control panel switched back to red.

She spotted him, sitting behind his desk, still clad in his armor and his head bent. His extranet was opened on the personal file of Kaidan Alenko, only accessible to the crew of the Normandy.

When he didn't acknowledge her presence, she could feel the claws of doubt again.

"Was I wrong to come here?" She finally took the leap. "Would you rather be alone?"

Silence stretched out between them and Dani desperately tried to picture how a normal human being would handle a situation like this. She was trying to be as forthcoming as possible. If he'd rather be on his own, she didn't want to make it awkward for him.

"I mean – the control panel was red – I don't want to intrude. I can go – if you want. I can go or, you know, stay."

He shifted his head, ever so slightly, but kept his gaze averted. Just a slight twist of his head, a subtle turn of his body and his hand reaching out to her. She moved at once and needed but a few steps to get near him. When she was within his reach, he quietly wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. He leaned into her, resting his head against her body. They remained like that, just for a while, until his arm fell away and he struggled to get to his feet. He staggered towards his bed, sank down slowly and started pulling at his armor, his face an unreadable mask.

Dani watched him wordlessly as he kicked off his boots. He proceeded with his leg pieces and his fingers fumbled on the catches of his greaves before he worked them off. His otherwise deliberate and careful movements were now awkward and clumsy. His fingers sluggishly picked at the catchers of his bracers but he managed to snap them open. The bracers clunked down next to his other discarded pieces. He reached for the buckle above his scapula and suddenly tensed.
He dropped his hand on his shoulder and turned his head away but Dani had noticed the fleeting grimace of pain crossing his alien features.

This finally uprooted her from her spot and she joined him on his bed. She crawled behind him, gently removed his hand from his shoulder and fought with the sharp metal buckles herself. Once they sprang open she carefully peeled his shoulder guards away from the fabric beneath. He wordlessly struggled off his chest piece and finally eased himself further onto his bed.

"You're hurt," Dani said quietly. "Where's your medi-gel?"

Garrus slowly shook his head. "No Dani, it's okay. Don't – you don't have to bother."

"Garrus, you're in pain. Let me help. Just, point me in the right direction."

"There's some left in my desk," he finally conceded.

Careful not to hurt him, Dani crawled over him and slid off the bed. She quickly retrieved the medi-gel and returned to her spot.

"Can you manage on your own?"

"Sure," he slurred with a mixture of pain and fatigue. "Just leave it there. I'll manage – later."

Dani rolled her eyes.

"Up," she commanded. "Get up!"

"What for?" he slightly whined but struggled himself upright anyway.

"Right," Dani said, more to herself than anyone else. Carefully, she took the hem of his tunic and pulled it up.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting rid of your tunic so I can see where to put the medi-gel. Now sit still."

Miraculously, he obeyed when she heaved his tunic up and gently pulled it over his head, making sure the fabric didn't catch on the back of his fringe.

When it finally dropped to the floor, Dani couldn't suppress a gasp when her eyes wandered over his back. He was all plates or scales, harsh planes and sharp angles, a protruding spine. So incredibly alien, weird and strange and magnificent! He was magnificent! Garrus kept very still under her studying eye, as she was taking in every aspect of his anatomy.

"You're beautiful!" she finally managed to choke out. "You're like a living piece of – art!"

He chuckled lightly. "I have to admit, you're the first one to call me that – art."

She couldn't resist. Without asking she placed a tentative hand on the hard planes of his back and gently traced every ridge, plate and angle. When he hissed,
she stopped.

"There?" she asked and when he nodded she picked up the medi-gel and applied a liberal amount under the plate that wasn't exactly aligned against his hide the way the others were. He shuddered when her hand first made contact with the sensitive spot, but when the function of the medi-gel kicked in, he sighed in relief.

She continued her journey across his back. Where needed she applied the medi-gel but overall, all she was really doing was satisfying her own curiosity. Her hands glided over the wiry muscles across his shoulders. She tried putting on just a little bit of pressure and was rewarded with a contented hum emitting from his lower vocal cords.

Finally, he shifted his body around and gently took the medi-gel from her hands. It landed on the floor somewhere near his armor pieces. He turned over the covers of his bed and eased himself beneath them, motioning for Dani to join him. She quickly kicked off her boots and socks and snuggled up to him. The moment she was close enough, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. This was just a bit uncomfortable now that the soft padding of his clothes were missing. She shifted around a bit until she found places to rest her head and hands against that actually felt quite nice.

"Hey, you've been crying," Garrus said quietly. Dani softly nodded her head, "Yeah, sorry. Didn't mean for you to notice."

"I didn't know you cared this much. I mean, given the history between you two."

"It's not that. . ." Her voice broke a little. "I, I'd rather not say. You'd think I'm horrible."

"You couldn't be horrible if you tried, Dani," Garrus softly murmured. His breath tickled her ear and his mandibles lightly grazed her cheek. It made her shiver.
He pulled her a little closer in response.

"I was today. When you came back. You see, when I noticed Kaidan was . . . was not there. For a moment I was actually glad," she choked out.
"For a moment I was glad and I thanked every benevolent entity out there it was him who stayed behind, and not – and not you. I was glad, Garrus.
I was glad he died and you were back. God, what kind of person am?"

"You're sweet, Dani. Sweet and compassionate. That's what you are." His lower vocal cords quivered around the words, distorting them just a little.
He lightly nuzzled the slope of her neck with his mouth plates. When she shuddered his hands drew soothing circles across her back. She noticed her heart and her breathing picked up speed a bit. She closed her eyes against the foreign feeling of someone so close and warm and breathing softly in her neck.

"What's going to happen next, Garrus? How much more lives is Saren going to take before he's finally defeated?"

"We're getting closer. It just – It just got a bit more complicated. That warship Saren has, Sovereign? It's not just any old warship. It's a Reaper. An actual living Reaper. He's behind all this."

"Sovereign, a Reaper? But, that was Saren's goal all along wasn't it? To bring back the Reapers?"

"Yes, and Sovereign has a whole army of buddies waiting in dark space to return. It's a long story."

"I've got time," she said whisper-soft.

"Liara told you about the Cipher, right? How it was needed to understand the vision from the beacon?"

He nuzzled her ear.

"Yeah, she did," Dani sighed, closing her eyes.

"Okay, both Saren and Shepard have seen that vision. Only Shepard's vision wasn't entirely complete. It was missing a few pieces. On Virmire we found another beacon. It filled in the blanks. Somewhat. Everything evolves around the Conduit that Saren's after."

"Conduit?" Dani found it hard to stay focused. Her body flush against his, his warmth emanating through her, his hands softly kneading her back, his breath tickling in her ear – it was almost an overload of different sensations.

"Hm-mm, we don't know what it is yet. It might be some kind of super weapon. Or something to bring back the Reapers. But Saren wants it so we have to beat him to it. The vision revealed its location to be on Ilos."

"Ilos?"

She briefly wondered if she could sound more dim-witted if she tried.

"Yes, a planet in a region of space only accessible through the Mu Relay. . . which was lost thousands of years ago. We think that's why Saren had the geth scouring the galaxy. To find the Mu Relay. We're headed to Noveria right now. To investigate those geth activities."

"So soon?" Dani said a bit breathlessly. "You just got back. After what happened today –"

"We have to Dani, you know that. We have to stop Saren. Make sure Kaidan's sacrifice wasn't in vain," he said and she could hear how his breathing hitched.

Dani felt her fingers digging into his shoulders when she pressed herself closer to him. When had she wrapped her arm around him? Garrus responded with a low guttural sound.

Very gently, he mouthed at the side of her neck and she could feel the slight pressure of his sharp teeth. Vaguely she thought how those teeth could do a lot of damage and how softly they were grazing her skin right now. When his tongue dipped into the hollow of her throat all sensible thought scattered away.
She found her knee suddenly wrapped over his hip, her thigh cradled and supported by his hip spur. She couldn't even remember how it got there.

Her skin felt feverish hot, sweaty and prickly all over and suddenly she felt the skin of his hand in contact with the skin of her back and his other hand on her thigh, keeping her firmly in place. Something deep inside her was waking, yearning, unraveling. He grasped her to him tightly and suddenly they rolled over and his weight descended on her. Instinctively she brought her other knee up around his waist. Her breathing grew heavy and labored when he settled between her legs.

Garrus nuzzled his face plates against her neck and slowly let his body sink heavier on top of her. He gently rolled his hips against her and Dani found herself panting for air. Her fingers dug deep into the muscular tissue of his back, her legs were tightly wrapped around his waist and every time he rolled his hips against her, he came in contact with a spot between her legs and it felt . . . so amazing! And God, his tongue! It was doing wicked things in her neck.
She started panting for more air and heard him do the same.

Something . . . strange was happening. Like losing control in a wonderful, delicious way. A glorious feeling started spreading through her entire body, originating from that intimate place at the junction of her thighs, but with it, another feeling started to build. Panic. The unexpected sudden touch of his hand warm against her naked breast caused her to surge against him and she could feel him hard against her. A weird feeling flared from between her legs and in fear she gasped out his name, "Garrus!"

He suddenly stilled above her, his weight braced on his elbows.

"Damn," he whispered, out of breath. "Dani, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to - damn!"

He quickly rolled off her and immediately pulled her back flush against his chest. She could feel herself shivering against him. He softly nuzzled his forehead against her neck and just held her close. In the lazy comfort of his embrace, her heart and breathing finally evened out and that panicky feeling disappeared.

"Spirits, but you feel good Dani. Sorry I got a bit carried away," he whispered against her ear.

"It's okay," she whispered drowsily. "Sorry I panicked."

"No, you don't get to apologize Dani, not for that."

She searched for and found one of his hands clasped around her and twined her fingers with his.

"Garrus?" she asked him when she heard his breathing evening out as well.

"Hmm-mm?" He sounded as beat as she felt.

"You know, the other day, when I got drunk with Tali and Liara? Kaidan came up to me in the hallway. He apologized for being so prejudiced against me."

"Yeah, he was a bit stiff, but he was a good man."

"I basically told him we couldn't be friends."

"Something tells me you really didn't mean it the way you make it sound."

"I didn't. But what if he thought I did? I'll never be able to tell him –"

"Shhh, it's okay. He didn't think that."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Garrus?"

"Hm-mm."

He sounded so tired and yet, he was so patient. She grasped his fingers more tightly.

"Nothing, I'm just – I'm glad you came back."

"Me too – Dani?"

"Yes?"

"Tomorrow when I return from Noveria – and I don't care if that's in day or night cycle – but when I get back, we really need to have that talk."

It was silent for a moment before she trusted herself enough to use her voice.

"I know. I'll be here."

He sighed content and tugged her head under his chin.

"Good."