Thank you all for your reviews. Please keep them coming. Things are drawing to an end... Just the suicide mission and then... Ah... spoilers :P
Getting ready for suicide
He hated sickbay. Dr. Chakwas was a good person, one he even considered a friend. Still – he hated sickbay.
"Will you keep still? You're being an insufferable patient. Just let me do my job and you'll be out of here soon."
Garrus sighed and tried to sit still. Which wasn't easy with the human poking and prodding at him. To be fair, it wasn't that bad, he just hated sickbay.
So many things were happening now. In the space of just a couple of months his best friend seemingly got tired of being dead and rescued him on Omega. Said friend then whisked him away to Earth just in time for him to save Dani, the woman he'd fallen in love with so many months before.
And during it all, they learned that the Collectors were targeting human colonies for some as of yet unknown reason.
There was evidence the Collectors were now working with or for the Reapers and the Alliance wasn't doing a thing about it. This fact alone had forced Shepard to form an uneasy alliance with Cerberus and the Illusive Man. Garrus had only been the fourth recruited on a team that Shepard was still building.
At the moment they were on their way to Korlus to recruit some krogan warlord. And after that he was pretty sure the Illusive Man had more dossiers up his sleeve. It was weird knowing Shepard would soon embark on a mission without him, but Shepard had been clear about that. Garrus had seen the fire in his eyes and knew there was no way around it. Not this time.
"Well, the good news is, you're going to live," Dr. Chakwas' voice pulled him from his musings.
"The bad news is, you'll need to take it easy for a while. Shepard was right in grounding you from upcoming missions. Though you bounced back marvelously from that missile hit to your face and the surgeries following that, the ordeal put a heavy strain on your body."
Hurried footsteps closing in on the med bay had Dr. Chakwas turning around and Garrus looking up. The vision that appeared in the doorway had his mandibles go slack.
"Dr. Chakwas, I just heard . . . Is he okay?"
"He'll be just fine, Dani. He just shouldn't try to catch every bullet fired his way. His regenerative capabilities are a bit jolted. Garrus will need to take it easy for a bit. He's good to go though."
Dani quickly brushed by Dr. Chakwas and grabbed his hand in relief. Garrus was too stunned to say anything. He had a bit of trouble processing the image of the woman standing in front of him.
Miranda's suit had looked good on her, but it had just been Dani dressed up in the clothes of another woman. This . . . this new look not only changed her appearance, it somehow changed her as well.
Or maybe that was just his imagination. He wasn't really sure. He'd always seen Dani as . . . well, fragile. Fragile and shy, in need of protection and understanding. But this aloof young woman carried herself with a self-assurance Dani never had. Or had she?
Well, at least not before they got her back from Earth. She'd obviously changed a lot since these last few years, maybe he was just really seeing and noticing it now for the first time.
"Garrus?" she called him softly and he noticed the worry in her eyes. Something sparked and flared from deep within him and found its way blazing from his eyes. She must have noticed because she suddenly blushed very prettily.
"You look absolutely beautiful," he simply said. When she looked up at him she smiled again. The moment he opened his arms for her, was the moment he found her in his embrace.
He closed his eyes to breath in her scent but not before he saw the warm smile on Dr. Chakwas' face who discreetly turned around to leave them alone.
"I was so worried. Shepard came by and told me you were hurt. Is it bad?"
"No," he said softly while nuzzling a mandible against her hair. "It's not bad. It's just annoying and certain movements hurt a bit. But, there is something we need to talk about. Did Shepard per chance tell you about what happened on Purgatory?"
"He didn't. He just stopped by and told me you got hurt. Why, something happened?"
"Yeah, I guess something did. Nothing – how would you say – earth shattering. It just needs addressing."
He gestured for his shirt and Dani quickly handed it to him. He pulled it over his head, but the moment he put his feet on the floor he staggered a bit. Dani was immediately right beside him.
She slipped her arm around his waist and he draped an arm over her shoulder. He put a little weight on her but not too much, just enough for a little support to get them to their room.
Once there, he sighed in appreciation as he let his body fall back on the mattress.
"Okay, I'll admit . . . This feels good. Maybe my body hurts a tad more than I at first thought," he sighed. The sigh turned into a pained groan when Dani forced him up to remove his shirt again.
"Dani," he protested. "I'm really not . . ."
"Shh!" She cut him off. "Turn on your stomach."
"On my stomach? What on Palaven for?" Still, he did what she requested.
"Just trying something out. Bear with me though, with your scales and plates I'm not really sure if this works. I'm playing this by ear. Just let me know if it feels good or not."
He gasped in surprise when he felt her settle on his backside, straddling him but placing most of her weight on her knees. Then her hands were on him. They felt different than usual but not unpleasant. Very warm and slick and gliding over his hide, his plates and scales, the bits in between.
Spirits that felt good! Her nimble fingers reached spots on his body he was pretty sure had never been touched before. It wasn't sensual in nature but damn it felt good!
"Oh, this is very nice," he sighed in appreciation.
"I thought you might like it."
He heard the smile in her voice.
"Better tell you what's on my mind before I fall to sleep," he mumbled. And so, while her hands slid over his shoulders, his neck, deep in his carapace and his back, Garrus finally told her about the things that had transpired on Omega. He knew that even though she had never addressed it, she had seen the change in him, like Shepard had. It had hardened him, made him more cynical. Something he could forget when he was with her, but he could not run from.
"I'm still gathering Intel on Sidonis' whereabouts," he finally ended his story. "When I find him, I'm going to kill him, Dani. An eye for an eye. A life for a life. It will be a quick and merciful death, something he denied my crew mates, my friends."
"When it's done . . . will it really be done?" Dani asked softly. "Will you be able to move on?"
He thought about it for a moment. "Yes," he finally said after careful consideration. "I need to do this. I owe it to my men."
"Then do it," Dani whispered. "Do it and after, come back to me. Promise me that. Promise me I'll never have to be afraid of you. Or for you."
"I promise you. I swear. With you at my side and Shepard at my back, I can't go wrong. Not anymore."
There, he had shown her his dark side and she took it in stride. Shepard had been right, it was good they talked about it before his silent suffering would have destroyed everything.
She didn't like it, he could tell, but she accepted and trusted. It was more than he could ask for.
He could feel her hands on his body, how they fumbled beneath him to loosen his buckle so she could slide his pants down his legs. His mandibles fluttered feebly in sleepy amusement when she tried to figure out the best way to slip his pants over his leg spurs. Somehow she managed though.
She removed his long foot protectors and his boots and then her hands on his body retreated. She retreated too but he was too tired to protest. He lost track of time, he might have dosed off for a bit, but vaguely he noticed her dragging the covers from beneath him and draping them over the both of them.
She turned on her side and wriggled closer until her buttocks nestled against his groin, her back against his chest and her legs tangled with his.
With a content sigh he draped his arm around her to pull her a bit closer and nestled her head under his chin. Another contented sigh and soon he could feel his breathing evening out, getting deeper. His sore muscles relaxed and finally he drifted off.
With his worries and doubts now shared with his girlfriend along with his best friend, Garrus was not as angry and guilt-ridden as before, but it was still there in the back of his mind. He went on with his work, joked with his friends, spent time with them and Dani, made love to Dani . . . and though sometimes he could forget, he still couldn't forgive.
Shepard stayed true to his word and Garrus was left on the Normandy while Shepard, Jack and Kasumi went to retrieve Dr. Okeer. That had been the plan at least. They came back with a tank bred krogan.
Against all warnings, Shepard had released the krogan from stasis and – though neither spoke of what was said between them – Grunt, as the krogan decided to call himself, pledged a temporary allegiance to Shepard. EDI of course was more than happy to supply a security vid of what happened when Shepard got the krogan out.
After retrieving Grunt, the Illusive Man sent Shepard on a mission to Horizon where a human colony had gone silent. It was their best chance to catch the Collectors in the act and fight them. Garrus was fidgety and grumpy all day, even Dani kept a wide berth of him.
Shepard was gone for a good part of the day, together with Kasumi and Grunt. When they finally got back, one look at Shepard was enough to know how it went. The Collectors had managed to escape with at least a third of the colony. But there was more to it than that.
It took Garrus a lot of goading and pressuring until his friend finally admitted that he had encountered Ashley Williams on Horizon as well.
With no evidence of malicious intent and due to her involvement in taking down Saren, Ashley had been reinstated with the Alliance. Officially, she was on Horizan in an outreach program to improve Alliance relations with the colonies. Unofficially it was an investigation into Shepard, or Cerberus.
Shepard had warned her to stay out his way. But that was not all he had said to Ashley. That last little bit he found out from Dani who had gotten it from Kasumi. Apparently, Shepard had actually said to Ashley that he regretted leaving Kaidan behind on Virmire and not her. And if they would ever cross paths again, she would die. Because next time, Garrus would be with Shepard as well.
It felt good to know that Shepard made no illusions about what would happen if Garrus ever got Ashley in his cross-hairs. He had a special bullet waiting for her, with her name on it.
