Chapter 19: Cherry Bomb

This chapter is dedicated to the Hazbin Hotel Pilot Voice Actors.

Jill Harris

Monica Franco

Edward Bosco

Michael Kovach

Michelle Marie

Mick Lavar

Krystal Laporte

Stamper

Joshua Tomar

Faye Mata

Joe Gran

You all gave Hazbin Hotel it's wings, none of us would be here reading this without you. We love you and goodnight!


A certain sultry spider lounged on one of the new couches in the parlor, swiping through posts on his phone. The passed few days had been nice, and he really appreciated the downtime, but now he was beginning to grow restless. He didn't like spending so much time in one building, even one as large as this. Empty halls and vacant rooms could only hold the spider's interest for so long.

It was a rather slow morning in the hotel, the place silent as a tomb, the sole exception being the soft sounds of Husk's drinking in the background. I mean sure, he could always go over and mess with the bar cat, but that shtick got old a while ago. Plus, after that attack he didn't really feel like doing that anymore.

Scroll, scroll, scroll, * sigh* more of the same. There was nothing going on! Conveniently most of the TV's had been destroyed, and never replaced. The old piece of shit box that did survive was stuck on 666 news, and that was barely an upgrade over banging his head against the wall.

Ugh, come on! He survived everything hell could throw at him up until this point, just to die of boredom holed up in an empty hotel! There had to be something to do around here besides watching the paint dry, anything!

As if in answer to his silent plea, two figures came down the stairs, one grey and one white. Perking up, he looked over at the duo.

"Hey Vaggs, heya Charlie."

He greeted with a grin.

"Hi Angel!"

"Morning Angel."

He notices the two of them all dressed up, what looks to be a list in Charlie's hands and a messenger bag looped around his girlfriend's shoulder. Finally, something to break up the monotony!

"So, what's going on there? You gearing up to do the town or something?"

"Oh, did we forget to tell you? Sorry! Well, as you might remember, my room was basically totaled in that whole attack a few days ago, so me and Vaggie were just going to pop out to this great little clothing shop I know! Vaggie knows the one, it's actually the place we ordered the new uniforms from."

"It's pretty good. The selection isn't the greatest but other than that it's fine."

"Huh, shopping. Not exactly a riot, but then again, neither is this place. Mind if I tag along?"

"Oh, well, I don't see why not. Just go grab what you need and we-"

*BOOM!*

An explosion tore through the wall nearest the bar, filling the space with pink smoke.

"What up hoes!? Ha Ha Ha!"

"Ho-Holy shit, Cherry!?"

"Angie, ya bitch, don't tell me ya forgot I was coming around already! Figured we could tear shit up like old times, it's been too fucking long! Here, hold this."

"AH, AH! Oh my god, oh my god!"

"Let me see that."

Cherry Bomb bantered as she walked over to her friend, tossing a lit bomb to Charlie as she passed her. The round explosive was then grabbed by Vagatha and thrown out the newly made hole, going off like a firework some distance from the Hotel. In an instant the porn star's previous plans were forgotten.

"Oh-ho-ho YES! I've been craving something to do all day, let's fucking DO IT!"

"That's my boy! After that depressing shit with Valentino you need a rort, a rager, a-"

"RE-sponsible day out with friends! Hi, Charlie! That's my wall that you just blew up, it is so nice to properly meet you! Anyway, I was just about to step out for awhile and, with all the craziness that's happened around here recently I think Angel, and everyone else around here, deserves to have a little fun."

"Wa-wa-wait, everyone?"

"Yeah, there's Husk over there, Niffty's around here somewhere and-"

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?"

"That would be Mr. Tafford."

Thundering down the hallway like a proverbial bull in a china shop Tafford Charged into the parlor, shotgun at the ready.

"Mr. Tafford, MR. TAFFORD! It's O.K. It's just Angel's friend, Cherry Bomb."

"THEN WHAT WAS THAT- oh."

"Hey, your that lady who blew up all those soldiers the other day! That was so cool! But why are you here now? OOH, as long as your stopping by could you help me blow up some of these bugs?!"

Tafford was ready for a fight as soon as he heard the explosions, but calmed down as soon as he saw the spunky spitfire opposite Angel Dust. Niffty was just behind him, her rapid fire voice sounding off faster than anyone could keep up.

"Ms. Cherry."

Tafford started with a greeting.

"It's not that you aren't welcome after what you did for us, but what are you doing here? In all the weeks I've worked here the first time I saw you, or any, of Mr. Dust's friends was during the battle."

"Yeah I've wondered that too. Anyway I was just getting to that. Hi, everyone, with everything that's happened in the last few days I think you all deserve a break. So, Angel and his friend are taking you out for a day of fun and relaxation!"

Charlie exclaimed before Cherry Bomb could respond.

"Now hold on, I am only here for Ang- ooh never mind let's go!"

Cherry Bomb exclaimed as she was handed a big stack of bills by Charlie.

"So princess, you coming in that monkey suit or what? Just sayin' it doesn't really fit our vibe."

"Oh no, I'm not going! No offense to you but, I already had plans with Vaggie before you got here."

"Ooh girls trip! Can I come?!"

Excitedly exclaimed the semi psychotic sprite.

"Yeah, given the kind of scene we're into, that's probably for he best."

Replied Angel Dust.

"Eh, I could stand to stretch my legs. Better than hanging around here listening to the boards creak."

"As much as I'd like to join you on your series of escapades, someone has to mind the Hotel. Not to mention fixing this wall."

Assented Husk, followed by dissension from Tafford.

"Oh crap, that's right the wall!"

"Why don't you get Al to help out? If he can fix this entire place with a snap of his fingers he can handle a wall. Might even watch the hotel too, I don't see him going out with these two."

"That's a great idea! I'll go find him, be right back."

Started the princess as she took off to find the radio demon. While they are waiting, Vagatha takes the time to say something that's been nagging at her ever since Cherry Bomb entered the building.

"Angel, are you sure this is such a good idea? That battle with Valentino only happened a few days ago, shouldn't you be lying low for the time being?"

"I get where your coming from Vaggs, I really do. I know your not gonna believe this, but as long as I don't wander onto Val's turf I should be fine."

"I don't believe that, with the amount of pain we just put him through he's going to want to make you part of his furniture, it's not safe."

"I think your underestimating just how much of a smackdown we put on him. That was ALL of Val's gangs and then some, and from how intense that fight was I wouldn't be surprised if some of those guys are still putting themselves back together. Depending on where they end up, it should at least be a couple more days before he's in any shape to send anyone after me."

"I'm not willing to take that chance. We don't know how many of his gangs have gotten back by now. And given the size of culo's ego it wouldn't surprise me if he sent everyone he has left out looking for you."

"Yeah we don't, and if I were going it alone I might be worried. But I'm not, I'll have Cherry with me, and we've been knocking heads since before you bit the big one! And hardtack and the pussy cat can hold their own too. It'll be fine! And besides, weren't you just about to let me go shopping with you and Charlie?"

"Yeah but-"

"But nothin! Ugh, Vaggs, I know you want to keep me safe but you can't be lookin' over my shoulder twenty four seven! You can't keep me locked in here for who knows how long, I gotta go out sometime! Look, like it or not, this is happening so you can come with us or find a way to deal with it."

Vagatha considered this, while there was always a risk that her fears could come true, she couldn't deny the spider was far from helpless. He also wouldn't be alone, that might make any gangs or wanna-be bounty hunters think twice before trying to grab him.

But ultimately, the hard reality was she could neither be at his side every second of the day, nor keep him here forever. And that sealed her decision. Besides, it was a day out with friends. How bad could that be?

"Alright go have fun. But be careful. Be safe."

She told him with a look that was stern, but not unkind.

"You don't gotta worry about me Vaggs, one day out won't kill me twice."

"Well, what do we have here?"

Cut in a voice that wouldn't sound out of place in an antique stereo.

"Well now, that's a decently sized hole."

Angel Dust's smirk was palpable.

"Yeah it is. That's why I asked you down here. Mr. Tafford can't fix this all alone, so I was hoping you could do something about it."

"But of course princess, why I only put this entire building back together a few days ago, what's setting up one more wall?"

"Y-Yeah, thanks Al."

Sighed Charlie looking to the floor.

"Alastor."

Said Vagatha getting the attention on her.

"We're also going out for a couple of hours, can you watch the Hotel until we get back."

" *Sigh* I suppose. Your lucky my schedule is open today."

Said the stag, as he snapped his fingers to summon a few of his allies.

"Thanks Al, we all really appreciate it!"

Quickly interjected Charlie. With that, the two groups formed up and set out on their respective journeys.


Some time later, Downtown


The group walked through the doors of the club and into a world of multi colored lights and intoxicating beats. One splash of cash got them passed the receptionist and into the retreat of good times, good refreshments, and good old fashioned debauchery.

The club had a very relaxed atmosphere, similar to another well named party establishment that the audience might know. It boasted many of the same features such as a dance floor, a full bar, and a sizable crowd readily enjoying the first two. Unlike that aforementioned other establishment, this one possessed crescent shaped booths with circular tables and all white interiors. While that other business catered to patrons carnal enjoyment, this one was geared toward the indulgence of chemical relaxation.

There were other differences too, one of which being the music. It was milder than some of the more "hard rock" places, with a greater focus on melodic, hypnotic rhythms. All of this came together to create an energetic, yet relaxed atmosphere. An ideal place to forget your troubles, crack open your poison of choice, and let the night take you where it may.

As the quartet stepped inside and started looking for the bar,

bump*

"Hey, watch it!"

"Piss off tranny!"

Insulted an eel like demon stoking the spider's annoyance. He was pretty sure he had been called worse things in his sleep, but the smart ass in him couldn't let the eel get away without some kind of retort.

"* Snort* Real original asswipe! Next time ya wanna insult me pick somethin' your granny didn't dig up from the stone age!"

Angel Dust was about to resume his search for the bar, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, Angie wait. Let me take care of this guy."

"What? What're you-?"

"Ah-ah-ah just watch. You'll see when it happens."

Interrupted the cyclops as she sauntered up behind the offender. She waited until he reached the bar, making sure he was alone.

"Hey there hot stuff, this seat taken?~"

She asked in her most "seductive" voice.

"I don't want company."

"Aw, come on now, don't be like that. How about I buy you a drink?"

"Hmm, well, when you put it like that."

"That's the spirit. Barkeep, set us up."

She called. Drinks were poured and after the eel had his first sip, she put an arm around his neck and a hand on his arm.

"So, what brings a hansom thing like you to a place like this? And all by yourself at that."

"Had a long day. Just needed some place to unwind."

"Mhmm I get that. We all need a place to, blow off steam~"

She said gliding her hands over his skin. Before she went any further she backed off and grabbed her phone.

"Shit. Hey listen, I gotta bounce, but if I see you around sometime maybe we can pick this up where we left off?~"

"Heh heh. Yeah, I could do that."

"Sounds great hot stuff. Hope I see you around.~" * Smack!*

Broke off the sultry cyclops, giving him a smack on the ass as she departed. Rejoining the others she is met with confusion and suspicion.

"What did you-?"

"Up-bup-bup! Just watch."

She said as the group continued to watch the jackass.

"Three, two, one."

Suddenly the demon's expression shifted. He had a pained look on his face and rushed to the bathroom as fast as he could. After disappearing into the stall,

*BOOM!*

an eruption of pink smoke jetted from the door. After a moments pause a second eruption took place just behind the mono eyed sinner, as the entire group tried their damnedest to keep their sides from splitting.

"Okay, I'll admit, that was a good one!"

"That had to be the funniest thing I've seen in months! Thanks for putting that in my head!"

"Oh, oh damn Cherry you got him good!"

Commented Husk, then Tafford, and finally Angel Dust.

"Eh it was nothin', not like I was gonna let some dipshit get away with picking on Angie. Now come on, we've been here for ten minutes already and I don't have a buzz! Let's get blotto'd!"

With that the party began. Drinks, jokes, and good times flowed as the quartet let loose, their problems washed away in a sea of libations and endorphins. One, two, three rounds in and everyone was feeling pretty good.

"I'll admit, this ain't a bad night. How often you two do this?"

Asked the feathered feline in their midst.

"All the time! Angie and me do it up like this every damn chance we get!"

"Oh yeah, when we first met, sometimes me and sugar tits did this on the daily! Hey, remember that time when some jackass accidentally dropped his coke into the vents and got the whole place high as the empire state?"

"Or that time the wannabe kingpin marched into that place with his goons and turned the place into an instant turf war?"

"Oh yeah! Or that time we ran out of cash, so we broke into the store room and drank the place dry?!"

The pair burst out laughing the conversation taking a pause for a minutes as the two worked through a fit of the chortles. As the laughter finally died down,

"Heh, good times. Exactly how long have you been doing this?"

Inquired Tafford

"Fucking forever! There ain't ever been a time we didn't go out and tear shit up!"

"Forever eh? We talking years, decades, how long?"

"Since before you were old enough to wear a helmet hardback."

"Ha! Well now, that begs the question, just how did you two meet in the first place?"

Angel Dust lit up at that, recalling how he first met his best friend.

"Oh, now that's a good one!"

"You're damn right it is, tell em' Angie!"

"Alright so, it was in a place just like this. I was lookin' for a new spot to decompress after my regular den got totaled in a turf war..."


Many Years Ago


The Slender Spider stretched out in the booth, still feeling the effects of his first round. This place was none too bad. Sure it wasn't like his usual spot, but the drugs were good, and that's what mattered. As the effects of his first hit began to fade he was about to call over an attendant, when suddenly.

*BOOM!*

"What up bitches!? Aussie slut is in the house, and she is ready to tear shit up!"

The door was blown off it's hinges as a sassy powerhouse made her grand entrance. As the pink smoke began to clear a slim strawberry blonde was reveled, absentmindedly tossing a bomb in her right hand. The fire that blazed in her singular eye matched perfectly with her punk aesthetic, creating a fierce image that commanded the attention of the room.

"Now who do I have to blow up to get some PCP?"

An attendant quickly showed her to a booth as several others saw to the door. Angel Dust watched on as she made herself comfortable and ordered her first hit.

"Heh, not bad kid."

The spider said to himself, appreciating her style, and her taste in drugs.

But as the evening continued and Angel Dust got into his swing, he glanced over at the new arrival, and he began to grow annoyed. She was loud, undoubtedly the loudest one here. And her attitude, seen as spunky and refreshing when she first made her appearance, began to grate on him as the night went on.

That, coupled with her tone, the way she flirted with the cuter attendants, and how she practically demanded everything she got came across as less spirited and more… conceited. Angel ignored it for a good while and tried to focus on his own high, but her numerous outbursts made sure that the spider could never enjoy his escape for long.

And that was the last straw. Being obnoxious was one thing, flirting with all the hot guys was another, but killing his high? Now she was getting on his nerves. He got to his feet and went over to her booth.

"Hey, ya mind?! Some of us are trying to enjoy ourselves here, and I can hardly hear myself think over your constant yakkin. So pipe down!"

"Aww, can the half stoned loser not keep up?~ Ha Ha! Dude, if you can't hold your dope that's your problem, not mine!"

"Oh I can handle my stuff just fine, what I can't manage is enjoying it while your over here brayin' like a jackass!"

"Well excuse you ya munted dickhead! You can't handle a little party you shoulda' stayed in whatever hell hole you crawled out of!"

"Oh don't talk to me about partyin' sweetheart. Some of us were firing up before you even fell! I was getting shitfaced before you puffed your first spliff."

"And I can still take my shit better than you! I'm here enjoying my night while your standing there whining like a little bitch!"

"Careful cyclops, plenty of assholes thought they could out snort me and I've buried em' all! So don't get any bright ideas thinking you can out do me."

"I don't think I can smoke you under the table, I know I can!"

"Really? Then why don't we see if you can back that up? Right now."

"Oh it's fucking ON! Yo hawker! Set us up here!"

And with that the contest began. It was round after round as both tested the limits of their tolerance, each one banking that they could out snort, smoke, and inject the other. Twenty minutes in and the world around them looked brighter, another ten and they saw some cool new colors, until finally after almost an hour,


One Blackout Later


The world was a glorious celebration! Somehow the two of them had found themselves at the center of a magnificent party! Loud music, flaring lights, and a seemingly endless fountain of every substance imaginable came together to create one of the greatest nights of this pair's afterlives!

Where were they? How did they get here? How did they become the center of everyone's attention? These were questions that needed no answers as all life's concerns were forgotten in a whirlwind of fun and recreational chemistry. Precious little of tonight would be remembered, but one thing would never be forgotten. From this night on, these two were best friends for eternity.


The Present


"Okay you weren't lying, that was a pretty good story."

"Yeah, knowing the two of you I figured it had to be something with a party."

Acquiesced Husk followed by Tafford. Speaking of which, an attendant chose that moment to drop off their next round of shots. As most of the group cheered and threw back, Angel Dust noticed one of their number who didn't partake. Tafford had a growing pile of untouched shots in front of him, even as the rest of them were halfway up the pole.

"Yo hardtack what gives? Don't ya like shots? Don't tell me your some kinda prude that don't drink."

"Not that. Kinda hard to drink with the mask on."

"Just take it off then!"

"No can do."

"Why not?"

"Yeah, you can't be that ugly. I've done it with guys who have a way worse body than you."

Cut in Cherry Bomb.

"It's not about ugliness, I just don't like to show my face to anyone."

"Why?"

"It's a confidence thing, hell's a savage place, the mask helps with my nerve."

"Well, then you've come to the right place, they don't call this stuff liquid courage for nothin'."

Put in Husk.

"Yeah. Listen Hardtack, you passed on a good time once, I'm not letting you miss out again! So if you don't wanna party, then we're just gonna sit here until you pull that stick out of your ass and find your fun!"

Smiled Angel Dust as the three of them all stared expectantly at Tafford. For the second time in recent memory Tafford was caught in a scenario where it seemed he would have to let others see behind the mask. Fortunately, he knew a good trick for just this situation.

"Shit, did killjoy just have a wardrobe malfunction?"

All three heads turned together towards the nearest TV. It wasn't even on the news. When they turned back four glasses were drained and the man was replacing his head covering.

"Hoo, don't know what this is, but it's got a nice burn."

All three were dumbfounded for a few moments. Surprised, and mildly impressed, that anyone could take shots of hard liquor that quickly. Even Husk, with his decades of experience could only drink the strong stuff so fast.

"Heh, not bad."

"Specially when you only got two hands."

Commented Cherry Bomb, followed by her friend.

"Yeah, not too bad at all. Hey hardcase, I've been wondering something about you. You've got as much reason as any of us to drink, but I've never seen you order so much as a beer. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen you at my bar unless you were covering for me or helping restock. In case you haven't noticed, we're already in hell, why not drink like the rest of us?"

"Yeah, that's a good point. Even princess grabs a stiff one every now and then."

Inquired Husk, followed by the spider.

"Well I wouldn't say I never drink, just that I never drink in public, for pretty obvious reasons. As to why I don't do it more often, there just isn't much reason to these days. Back on earth I drank with my unit to celebrate a victory. Any other time would pretty much be a waste, if not an outright liability. Besides this whole club scene just doesn't do it for me. Don't get me wrong, it's okay, it's just not my idea of a good time."

"Then what is?"

Asked Cherry Bomb.

eeeeeeee *BOOM!*

A rocket collided with a wall in a detonation of brilliant light and blistering heat. Through the newly blown hole the foursome could be seen tearing shit up. The burnt out district served as the perfect location for Tafford's brand of revelry.

"NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT!"

Shouted the man in jubilation. Walls, bottles, bricks, and just about everything else served as perfect targets for shotgun shells, SMG rounds, bombs of every description, even a rocket or three. As he was loading up the launcher for another volley,

"Yo Hardball, give me a turn with that shit!"

Tafford happily obliges, taking out his shotgun and taking aim at a window that still had some glass left and letting loose. Explosions roar out once again as Cherry Bomb sees firsthand what Tafford's launcher can do. Between blasts, she takes a few moments to appreciate the instrument of destruction.

"Damn, this thing hits good! Where'd you get it?"

"It fell off the back of a truck."

"And considering that truck was trying to crash thru our front door at the time I wouldn't get torn up about it."

Chimed in Angel Dust. This continued for a good while, with the group blasting away at anything that caught their interest. Even Husk got in on the action with a pair of pistols he'd been lent by Angel Dust. Eventually,

ZAP!*- *BOOM!*

A bolt of red energy sizzled right overhead, nearly decapitating the group and causing another explosion nearby. The group swings their heads to find a large, heavily armored airship hovering between the crumbling remains of two nearby buildings.

"AH HA HA HA HA! If it isn't the whore bug and his slut, plus some other people. But no matter! I see you've still not learned your lesson about trifling with the great Sir- AUGH!" *BOOM!*

Not waiting for the snake to finish his monologue Tafford quickly grabbed his weapon back from the slender spitfire and emptied the magazine into the cockpit, the air sack, and one of the engines. The cockpit glass shattered, throwing the snake for a loop, but the air sack and engine were too well protected, taking little, if any, damage.

"Ugh, my head."

Groaned the snake as he pulled himself upright. Quickly shaking off his daze, he makes his way back to the controls.

"So uncivilized! The nerve of those pompous low lives! Not even letting me finish my speech! Well they asked for it! There won't- what, what's that? What is that incessant banging?!"

"There's a man at the door Mr. Boss, looks like he's trying to break in."

Said one of the egg boys who sat in front of a bank of monitors.

"Fool! That bulkhead can stop anything, there's no way one pitiful-"

BANG*- *BANG*- *BANG*- * CRACK!*

"What was that!?"

"He's trough the door Mr. Boss."

"Gah! Useless thing! Egg boys, get down there and stop him!"

At that command the egg boys grabbed whatever weapons were close at hand and rushed to dispatch the intruder. Sir Pentious retook the controls as his minion at the monitors continued to speak.

"Oh, here we go."

Spoke the egg at the screens as he watched on.

The first of the ovoid minions were splattered as they met Tafford's charge, letting lose a blast or two from his shotgun when he didn't charge straight through them.

"He's still coming boss."

"No matter, with our numbers defeat is impossible."

The eggs tried to use every advantage available to them, corners, choke points, those guns that grab and restrain people, all for naught. Tafford continued through the ship, smashing shells all the way. While plentiful, the eggs numbers were not unlimited, and soon

"Five, four, three, two, one, that's all of them."

It was here Pentious began to grow nervous.

"N-No matter, that brute will never find the cockpit! He'll probably wander the corridors for days! By the time he finds me it will be far too late!"

"Unless he uses all the neat signs we put up."

"What?"

"Well yeah, while we were building this big ship we kept getting lost. So we put up a bunch of signs to find our way! Pretty smart huh?"

*CRACK!*

From three stories in the air the sounds of a one sided brawl reached the ears of the trio who remained on the ground. All of them had seen their acquaintance charge up one of the ruined buildings and break into the hovering blimp at the top, but none were sure how long it would take to reach the snake at it's head. Husk thought they should help, but Angel Dust and Cherry Bomb both held him back. They knew the man could handle the snake, and for once they wanted to kick back and watch.

Suddenly the serpent and his remaining eggs were thrown from the shattered windscreen and came crashing to the street below. Angel and Cherry burst into laughter as they saw the snake fall to the pavement, his eggs splattering around them.

"UuuUughHHhhHhh- OOF!"

A brief moment later their laughter would become an uproar as the blimp came down and parked right on top of Sir Pentious groaning form.

"Hey! Everybody climb aboard! We're taking this thing with us!"

Angel Dust and Cherry Bomb were beside themselves for several minutes, too lost in hilarity to move. But eventually they pulled themselves together enough to gather Tafford's launcher and climb inside. The airship took off after the three were aboard ascending above the rubble and carnage that raged below.


The three demons take in the interior as they make their way to the cabin. It wasn't long before they reached the cockpit seeing Tafford make some adjustments to the controls before turning to meet them.

"Okay, I gotta admit, that was pretty damn funny."

Commented Husk, speaking first.

"Hell yeah it was! Funniest shit I seen in months!"

Chimed in Angel Dust. Cherry Bomb stepped around her friend and handed Tafford back his launcher.

"You know, you should really hold on to good shit like this. Just throwing it around everywhere when it runs out of ammo is just beggin' for it to get swiped."

"Thanks. But seriously, how'd you like the show?"

He said strapping the launcher to his back.

"Fucking hilarious! Never thought I'd get to see anyone run over by a blimp, much less that smarmy bastard!"

"Heh, you know, I never really seen the inside of one of these before."

Commented Angel Dust taking in his surroundings.

"Yeah, pretty damn weird to be standing in this thing and not trying to blow it up."

"How'd you get this thing to fly anyway? Are you a pilot or something?"

Asked Husk.

"No actually, the controls to this thing are surprisingly intuitive. I was actually able to figure out the basics in just a few minutes."

"Huh, well ain't that convenient."

"I know it sounds lazy but it's true. I'd say if anything it's a testament to just how well designed these controls are. It's a little like figuring out an RC car or a drone."

"Drone? You mean like those flying cameras that Vox sells?"

Asked Angel Dust

"Different design, same principle. Basically you can think of a drone as the more developed big brother of those RC planes you find in hobby shops."

"Little more than one of ol' screen head's perv scopes. Don't care for the tinker toy shit myself but I'll admit, I've seen the old man's blimps level city blocks in minutes."

Cherry Bomb said half absentmindedly as she looked around the cabin. It took a few seconds, but when the idea hit, her bestie and her turned to each other and shared a look of pure deviousness.

"Oh no. I don't like that look, what are you two planning?"

Ignoring the old cat, the spider and the spitfire made their way over to Tafford who had retaken the controls.

"So hardtack, now that you've got the blimp what did you have in mind for it."

"Take it out past city limits, land this thing and let you two have fun blowing it inside out."

"Yeah, hmm, yeah. You could do that, you could. Or we could take this thing and have some real fun."

"I don't like the sound of that. Your definition of fun and mine are two entirely different things."

"Trust me you'll like this one. What if, instead of just taking this thing out to the desert and scrapping it, we see what this baby can really do?"

"It's a blimp Mr. Dust, it only goes so fast."

"Not like that, I say we power up these lasers and see how much havoc we can dish out!"

"No. I'm still not entirely out of the woods with Ms. Charlie and Ms. Vagatha after the mirror incident and I'll definitely get fired, and probably worse, if I take this thing and just fire on random people."

"I hear what your saying hardback but, and hear me out on this, what if the people we were zapping weren't so random? What if we were bringing the hurt down on someone who deserves it, and doing some good in the process?"

"I don't think so. I think you just want to use this airship to help you fulfill your own personal vendettas."

"Yeah, got to agree with Hardcase on this one. Don't get me wrong, I've seen plenty of worse bastards in this pit, but your not the type to just do something for anyone out of the goodness of your heart. Princess has that racket all to herself. So what's your angle?"

"Alright you got me. I was thinking we could use this thing take out a few of Val's businesses to keep the prick off his feet a little longer."

"If you really want to hurt your boss then why not attack him directly? And if you really want to destroy his business why don't we just crash this thing into the Vee's tower?"

"Cause that would be stupid. Look hardback, Penty's blimp may be able to tank a few rockets, but a bona-fide overlord would pop this thing like a balloon. You weren't here the first time he tried this shit on the hotel, but smiles totaled one of these in like, ten seconds."

"But wouldn't hitting your boss's businesses just rile him up to go after us? Maybe attack the hotel again? And what if his associates get involved? We barley held him off when he was only being supported by his gangs, there's no way we would survive an assault by three warlords at once."

"That's a good point."

Interjected Husk

"Ah, but that's the thing, he won't know it was us who hit him. This blimp belongs to the snake, and anybody who watches TV has seen me and him trying to off each other. Nobody will know it was us. If anything people will think ol' top hat got too big for his scales and bit off more than he could chew."

"Fair enough, but if you put anyone under enough pressure, they may snap and go berserk. And with someone like Valentino he's likely to see the hotel as one of his first targets if that were to happen."

"Which is why you use a light touch. We won't put so much of a cramp in his profits that he snaps or gets the other two involved, but enough that his gangs won't be back on their feet for a good long while."

"No one else would get hurt?"

"Only those stupid enough to not run when the shooting starts."

"You're certain your boss won't know it was us?"

"No one will. There ain't anyone who doesn't know who this blimp belongs to."

"You're sure you know where to hit?"

"Definitely. Val's been talking business around me for decades. I know where to hit him to cause just the right amount of pain."

"What do we do with the blimp after we're done? Obviously we can't keep it."

A smile stretched across the spider's face at that question.

"You said it yourself hardy boy. We're gonna crash it. Just not into the tower."

"* Sigh* Okay let's do it. I'm pretty sure those consoles over there are gunnery stations, strap in."

"Oh damn it. I'd better live to regret this."

Sighed Husk. While he definitely had his misgivings about this little stunt, he'd heard Angel Dust's explanation just as Tafford had, and even if he didn't trust it Tafford was already convinced. Plus he was already in the blimp. No going back now. Well, not without using his wings at least, and he never used those unless he absolutely had to.

Tafford changed course for the entertainment district, which was dominated by the Vees. As the soft lights of half working streetlamps and fires gave way to the glow of purple neon Angel Dust guided the way to their first target.

"Alright, there it is, first stop's right down there."

"That's one big building. What's it for?"

Asked Husk.

"That's where Val keeps all the guns and shit he hands out to his gangs."

Upon hearing that Tafford and Husk's every nerve went on edge.

"What the fuck are you smoking?! You want to attack your boss and the first place you choose to torch is an ammo dump!?"

"Yes. You said it yourself, this is the first place we're gonna hit. This way we take out the biggest operation first and catch em' with their pants down."

"Catch them with- Bullshit! This is a giant ass blimp, there's no damn way everyone in this part of the city hasn't seen us by now!"

"True, but that doesn't mean they expect us to start wrecking shit."

Began Cherry Bomb

"Old man scales flew his blimps all over the city, including the Vee's turf, but he never actually attacked unless he was over a peice that wasn't claimed. They won't see us coming."

"Thank you Cherry. Couldn't have put it better myself."

"I like it."

Spoke up the stalwart man at the controls.

"Striking the biggest target while you still have the element of surprise is just basic strategy. And if it's true that snake guy flew this thing over the district before there's a decent chance they won't suspect us until it's too late. Would you rather we hit this place last, when the enemy will be aware and the blip will likely be damaged?"

"* Sigh* Goddamit I see your point. But you'd better know what your doing. If your boss finds out about this-"

"He won't, I guarantee it."

Griped Husk followed by Angel Dust.

"We're coming up on the depot, everyone into position."

"* Sigh* Here we go."

Angel Dust and Cherry Bomb tightened their grip on the controls as Husk strapped himself into a chair. As the blimp came into view overhead four pairs of hands tightened over triggers.

ZAP! ZAP! *BOOM!* DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA! ZAP! *BOOM!* DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA ZAP! ZAP! *BOOM!* *BO-BOOM!* ZAP!

The airship unleashed every weapon it had, annihilating the entire building within minutes. While the craft was armed mostly with lasers, there were a few heavy machine guns as well as one or two rocket pods. It took time to demolish the entire depot, as it was a large fortified building, but it wasn't long before Valentino's stockpile of weapons was blown into a memory. As hoped, the overlord's goons never expected the blimp to attack.

"Whoa! The guns on this thing pack a punch!"

Yelled Tafford as the roar was still subsiding.

"Yeah. The overdressed noodle may not have a lot going for him but he makes some good canons. OK this place is toast, let's move on."

Cried Angel Dust in response.

The next target was a moderately sized printing plant only a few blocks from the depot. It was responsible for inking some of the less notable, but still lucrative, magazines Valentino produced. The building was boxy, dirty, and run down. A few trucks were parked at the loading dock either dropping off supplies or picking up product.

Of course everyone in the area herd what happened to the weapons depot, and when the demons at the plant saw the fireball and the blimp that caused it coming towards them, even their drug and lethargy addled minds put two and two together.

Everyone within and around the press scrambled to get as far from the building as they could before it was leveled, with a few security guards with a shred of dedication or professionalism desperately calling this in to their superiors. As the blimp got closer it wasn't long before,

ZAP! *BOOM!* *BOOM!* ZAP! DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA ZAP!

In seemingly no time at all the soggy box of porno mags at the ass end of the pentagram was reduced to a stinking crater as the zeppelin continued it's tour of destruction. Cheers rang out in the cockpit as another of Valentino's properties was demolished.

Unfortunately this operation wouldn't continue to be a walk in the park. The higher ups of Valentino's organization had been notified of the attack, and the man himself could easily see the airship from his penthouse suite. As Angel and company moved for target number three,

Pink!-Pink!-Pink!-Thunk!-Pink!-Pink!-Thunk!

They began taking fire from the ground, as the remains Valentino's gangs mobilized to defend their boss's territory.

ZAP!- ZAP! *BOOM!*

These were easily silenced by the lasers, but the worse was yet to come. The next target was a ways away on the other end of the district, giving Valentino's goons a prime opportunity.

eeeeeeeee~ *BOOM!* *BOOM-BOOM!* RATA-TATATA *Thunk!* *BOOM* *BOOM!* RATA-TATATA *Thunk!* *Thunk!*

Rockets, bullets, and even a few grenades arced up towards the airship intent on bringing it down. The blimp's armor held fast, but took notable damage from the onslaught, the plates denting and cracking in several places.

ZAP!* DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA *ZAP!*

A returning barrage of heavy machine gun fire and directed energy kept the pimp lord's thugs from getting too accurate, as the running battle continued across the length of the district. Finally their next target came into view, a drug lab responsible for producing a good bit of the substances used on the Vees employees, and occasionally themselves. As the trio were lining up their opening salvos, the man at the helm noticed something.

"SHIT, EVERYBODY HOLD ON!"

*BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!*

A full fusillade of guided rockets struck the craft, destroying several sections of armor plates, damaging one engine, and perhaps most concerning of all, disabling a full bank of the ship's weapons.

"AH- DAMMIT! My shit's fried!"

Yelled Angel Dust, his console sparking and seizing in front of him.

"Shit, Angie You OK?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine, but I won't be able to help you blow this place anymore!"

"Ms. Cherry I need your focus! We need to attack now!"

Shouted back Tafford, he of all people knowing that getting distracted on a battlefield was a good way to end up dead.

*ZAP!* *ZAP!* *BOOM!* *BO-BOOM!* *ZAP!* DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA *THUNK!* *ZAP!* *ZAP!* *THUNK!* *BOOM-BOOM!*

Unlike with the last two structures Valentino's gangs were able to mount a decent defense of the lab. While they didn't know where exactly the blimp would strike next, key locations, such as this, were a safe bet. It was just common sense to move personnel and heavier ordinance to defend places like this. The clash was no longer a one way slaughter but, this time at least, the end was the same. The lab was reduced to rubble, along with it's defenders and the drugs they protected.

This time however, victory didn't come without cost. Large sections of the hull were blasted wide open leaving the interior mechanisms of the craft exposed. One of the engines was completely scrapped, a mass of burning junk held on by little more than sincere good wishes. And to top it off, almost half the weapons on the damaged dirigible were disabled or destroyed. Alarms blared and sparks flared as Tafford worked desperately to keep the half ruined thing in the air.

"*Cough* Cough* Damn it! Systems are failing, losing power in main engines, shit I don't know if this thing's gonna stay airborne!"

"We just gotta hold on a little longer, there's only one place left!"

"Are you insane!? This damn balloon's coming apart at the seams! We need to cut our losses and bail! We've done enough damage and if we keep going we're just gonna get ourselves killed!"

Hacked Tafford, followed by Angel Dust before being countered by Husk.

"We're so close! If we pull this off Val won't recover for months, maybe a year or more! We gotta press on!"

"This boat's coming down all around us! Unless you want to be part of hell's first flying junkyard we need to leave now!

"Hardcase please! Just a little further!"

"We've done enough! Land this thing now!"

Tafford's mind worked quickly, both choices running through his mind. Whatever he chose it had to come fast. But this wasn't the first time the man had to make a hard decision, nor was it his first time staring death in the face.

" *Sigh* Mr. Dust, how far is that last target?"

"Not far, you can see it from here, that building there!"

Angel Dust pointed to a large warehouse some distance away.

"What's that?"

"That's where Val keeps his product before it gets shipped out."

"Do you see the size of that place?! Half the guns on this thing are blown out or seized up, there's no way we can take all that out!"

Interjected Husk.

"We don't have to use the guns, that's where we're gonna crash this thing!"

"Are you serious?! We'd do as much damage as a fastball breaking a window, it's not gonna do any good!"

" I DON'T CARE! I need Val to feel just a little more pain! To know just a little bit of how he made me feel! If we can put just a tiny bit more of a dent in his bottom line, take even a hair more away from that bastard, then this will all have been worth it!"

"* Sigh* Angel if I die, I swear, I will kill you myself."

A sentiment understood by their committed compatriot as he started to limp the nearly crippled craft in the direction of the depository.

"Hold on, I'm gonna go do something that'll help."

Said Cherry Bomb.

"Work fast, if you get lost in these corridors we're not gonna look for you."

Replied Tafford.

"I just need three minutes."

"I'll help."

Cherry Bomb said, followed by her friend as they both disappeared into the remains of the ship. With straining engines and creaking hull the blimp hobbled along on it's final journey towards the warehouse. One, two, three blocks on and the fires around the ship continued to worsen, threatening to turn the mass of twisted steel into an oven. When the blimp was beginning it's final approach Tafford angled the zep to pass close by a multi story building, aiming the exterior door to pass right by the roof.

"Ah, shit, no autopilot! Mr. Husk, cut out that seat belt and give it here."

"Those two better get back real soon unless they want to experience what it's like to be one of her bombs."

Said the cat as he did what Tafford asked. As the man at the wheel tied down the controls the spitfire spider duo swung back into the cabin.

"About damn time! We were about ready to leave your asses! What the hell were you doing?!"

"Oh you'll see pussycat."

"Real soon."

Angel Dust and friend replied, their tone dripping anticipation.

"Alright, I've got the heading tied down as best I can. See that building? We're gonna go right passed the roof, we'll need to jump for it. I'm setting the weapons to random fire, let's go!"

And with that the group took off sprinting. Through fire, and flames, and buckled decks the quartet ran for their lives as the blimp drew ever closer to it's final destination. Soon they were at the door, seconds before the roof came into view.

"JUMP!"

Leaping with every last ounce of vigor they could muster the group tucked and rolled onto the nearby building, getting the wind knocked out of them but otherwise being no worse for wear. Quickly they picked themselves up, looking over the side to see the ship cutting a swath of destruction to the depository.

Every remaining gun on the ruined vessel gave all of it's worth as if the ship itself knew it wouldn't survive this and wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. The defenses assembled around the storehouse lit up, desperately trying to avert the inevitable. It was as if the blimp began to disintegrate, and it wasn't long before it was listing hard to starboard. Unfortunately for them, all of their firepower wasn't enough to stop it's path before,

*BO-BO-BO-BO -BA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

Multiple smaller explosions tore across the repository before the main body of the blimp detonated like a miniature hydrogen bomb. Any who happened to be watching at that moment had to avert their eyes or risk being blinded by the light and intensity of the blast. Windows shattered district wide from the shock wave, from the building occupied by our protagonists, to the Vees own tower, and all the way into downtown where the noise set off car alarms, aggravated pets, and drew the attention of everyone in pentagram. No less than four of Valentino's operations, thousands of dollars in product, and who could say how much manpower, wiped out in the span of less than two hours.

And on a rooftop near the blast zone, four demons cheered, high fived, and generally celebrated not being dead.

This night was legendary, and only these four would ever know the full story.


Author's Note: THIS STORY IS NOT DEAD! First things first, I want to offer my apologies for publishing only one chapter in the six months since season one's conclusion. I have no excuse so once again, to anyone who has followed and like this story so far, I'm sorry and thank you for sticking with this tale as long as you have. Rest Assured the wait for Chapter 20 will be nowhere near as long, thankfully.

Here I'd like to give my opinion on season one of the show. I think I bought into the hype way too much, and became too emotionally invested in the lead up to season one's release. As a TV show, made solely to entertain, It's pretty good, however as it's own universe and narrative, it's admittedly pretty bad. Smarter fans than me have already analyzed the show to high heaven (pun intended) and have compiled a laundry list of plot holes, inconsistencies, and other flaws that I won't bother to list here. That doesn't mean I don't like the show, on the contrary, I just feel the pilot could have been done better justice. The show we got was not as good as the show that could have been.

Part of the fault lies with Amazon and their eight episode format, what's that about? But at the same time there were certain writing decisions made on Vivziepop's end that ultimately resulted in a weaker narrative. So not all the blame rests with Vivzie, but a good bit of it yeah. The show is definitely one of my favorites, but probably not my absolute favorite. I actually think I prefer the fanon and all of the fan narratives that have sprung from the original show.

But, I get off track. Thank you everyone who liked this story and continued to follow it after all this time. See you all In chapter 20: New faces.