Auntie Ethel's lair was exactly what Astarion had expected from a hag: strange mushrooms, pots that bubbled and billowed out ominous smells, the crumpled bodies of various victims…Ethel clearly had been working on her aesthetic for awhile, once you got past the quaint little cottage she used as a front. The room they were in now was littered with bones - very apropos - only a little overshadowed by the menacing pit in the center. From where Astarion crouched, hidden on a rocky outcropping above the battlefield, he couldn't see the bottom. Maybe it didn't have one.
But he didn't have much time to admire the hag's style, because his erstwhile companions were busy trying to put her in the ground. With a howl of rage, Karlach swung her ax at the hag's head, only for it to pass through harmlessly. The illusion cackled and disappeared.
"You'll have to do better than that, dearie!" Auntie Ethel called, her voice echoing oddly through the cave. A second hag shape waved its hand, and a bolt of poisonous green struck the tiefling in the back. Karlach almost fell into the pit.
"They're mirror images!" Gale called out, retreating so his back was to the wall. "We need to puncture the illusions until we find the real one!" He sent out a wave of magic missiles at the two hags nearest him. Both hag shapes disappeared, only to reform again elsewhere a moment later. "Preferably without using up all our magic before we can concentrate on Ethel!"
"Easier said than done," Shadowheart grumbled, but cranked up her crossbow anyway.
Astarion drew his bow. Puncture the illusions. Right. With a flourish, he shot the nearest hag – it vanished – then ducked down before the real Ethel could target him in turn. He couldn't strike more than one at a time, like Gale could, but unlike Gale, he wasn't in danger of running out of spells. He shot methodically, popping fake Ethels almost as soon as they could reform, then ducking down to hide against his rocky perch.
Until…"Deep down, you like being leashed, don't you?" The hag's voice was almost in his ear, and Astarion staggered as a savage pain erupted in his head. He whirled around. An Auntie Ethel – the real one? – stood on the ledge just behind him, yellow fangs bared in a vicious grin.
"Astarion!" Karlach cried.
Astarion ducked the first swipe of Ethel's claws, dropped the bow, and drew his knife. Could he hold her off until Karlach managed to cross the cave, climb the roots, and make it onto the ledge? Or should he try to run?
Then Ethel caught his dagger in her claws, and his decision was made for him. The hag leaned in, still grinning that rictus grin. Astarion let go, leapt off the rock…
"Listen to your betters, boy!"
A wave of dark magic followed Astarion off the ledge, slamming into his shoulder and spoiling his landing. Instead of a neat, practiced roll, he ended up sprawled on the stone instead. Pain flared in his back and leg. Behind him, he heard Karlach and Shadowheart shouting.
Auntie Ethel leapt after him, and Astarion just managed to roll out of the way. She screeched in fury. The vampire wallowed to his feet with none of his usual grace, groping for a weapon…Then Gale finally arrived, and a trio of magic missiles struck Ethel in the chest. A Guiding Bolt followed, with Karlach hard on its heels. Ethel screeched again, then threw up her hands in surrender.
"Wait. Aagh. Wait just a tick!"
Karlach's breath came in hot, angry pants, eyes murderous. For a moment, Astarion thought she would ignore the hag entirely. Then the tiefling woman took a deep breath, and the glow of her fiery engine dimmed a little.
"Talk," she growled.
The hag continued on in that same wheedling voice. "Killing me is a waste of time. I'll find a way to return. Always have, always will. But it's…unpleasant. So how about we be civilized about this, hmmmmm? I have something you want!"
"You don't…" Karlach began hotly, but before he could think better of it, Astarion stepped in front of her, hands out.
"Now, Karlach, let's hear her out." He lowered his voice with a conspiratorial grin. "We can always carve her up to your heart's desire afterwards."
Karlach stared at him, still smoldering, and he had a moment to consider how easily she might decide to carve him up instead before she sighed and the glow of her engine dimmed farther. "I'll hold you to that, Fangs." She turned her eyes on the hag. "I saw what you did to Mayrina. What could you offer that we could possibly want?"
"Let me leave with the girl," the hag said, "and I'll give you power. You want to be stronger? Tougher? Smarter? Done! Anything is possible. Just let me keep the girl and her babe."
Karlach swelled with rage and opened her mouth once more, but once again, Astarion spoke before she could. "Our reinforcements are nearly here," he told the hag haughtily, eyes narrowed. "Give us the girl and the power, and they'll spare you."
The hag glared at him. Astarion wondered if he could combust, caught between Ethel's glare and Karlach's, but years of lying kept his eyes on the hag's without flinching. Honestly, Ethel's deal seemed fair enough - Mayrina had gotten herself into this mess and could damn well get herself out of it - but Karlach would clearly object.
"You greedy little bollocks!" Ethel snarled. Her eyes searched his face, looking for weakness, but Astarion had spent centuries learning to hide that. "Fine," she said at last. "Here." She ripped a piece of hair from her head and threw it on the ground at Astarion's feet. Her mouth twisted in a horrible grin. "Enjoy yourself, slave."
Karlach shoved forward. "Alright then," she growled. "Get out of here."
Then there was a flash of light, and they were alone. Automatically, Astarion scooped up the hair. Mayrina was blubbering something, but he had stopped listening. He had a horrible feeling that sparing the hag was something he'd come to regret.
"Well, that's a relief," Gale said. "As I suspect attempting to channel more of the Weave might literally kill me at the moment."
Shadowheart snorted. "I'm all out too. It's a good thing Auntie Ethel didn't decide to call our bluff."
"Aw, Fangs and I could have handled it," Kalach said. For a moment, Astarion thought she would slap him on the back and resigned himself to scorched leather. She caught herself just in time. "By the way, are you OK, Astarion? Thought I saw her get a cheap shot in there at the end."
"It was nothing." True enough. He'd been successful in his hunt the night before, and nothing was broken. Still, he found himself warmed by her concern. "Let's loot what we can and get back to camp so we can argue over who gets to consume that disgusting lump of hair."
As they exited the cavern, the hag's last words haunted him. "Enjoy yourself?" He had a feeling she hadn't been referring to the hair. And that smile. Had she done something?
The thought haunted him all the way back to camp, at least until the squabble with Gale drove it from his mind.
