Episode 17: Decath-Long Shot

The camera focuses on Chris at the end of the Dock of Shame. "Last time on Total Drama Island." The scene cuts to flashbacks of the previous episode. "Lincoln seems to have figured out what happened to his stolen Immunity Idol, but can't get his best bud Nate to admit it. Did he actually do it? I don't care. Anyway, then there was a challenge: prank the unprankable…"

"Didn't they prove that wrong?" asked Chef.

"I'm getting to that part," said Chris angrily. "Anyway, each of the contestants tried something on their own to try and prank me. And in pretty much every instance, failed. That is, until everyone decided to work together…"

"Steven and Ben didn't," said Chef.

"I'M GETTING TO THAT!" yelled Chris, before composing himself. "Anyway, almost everyone decided to work together, which also failed. Honestly, all of them failed. All of them."

"Except Ben placed a whoopee cushion on your chair," said Chef.

"…yeah, he did do that," said Chris. "But let's be honest, that shouldn't have counted. It's so lowbrow."

"And yet, you fell for it," said Chef.

"Shut up," said Chris. "Anyway, someone needed to win, so I gave it to Ben for getting as close as possible to pranking me…"

"Because he actually succeeded," said Chef.

"I refuse to admit it," said Chris. "Anyway, then it was time to eliminate someone. Somehow, Mandy wasn't one of the ones that got the most votes, and Tulip and Kevin were. And Kevin got the final marshmallow, only for Tulip to cruelly and evilly reveal she had an Immunity Idol…"

"She was crying about eliminating him," said Chef.

"As I said, cruel and evil," said Chris. "But anyway, my point is, Kevin's gone, and he won't be coming back." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the Dock of Shame. "Who's turn is it to go this time? You'll have to find out, right now, on Total. Drama. Island."

Intro song plays.

Tulip saw the group of girls in front of her, and took a deep breath. "Okay, here goes," she said, and walked up to them with as much confidence as she could. "Hey guys…"

"Hey," said Star without even looking at Tulip.

"Whatcha doing?" asked Tulip, trying to not let Star's indifference get to her.

"Just talking," said Korra, also barely paying attention to Tulip.

"Guys, come on," said Tulip, finally cracking. "I'm sorry about Kevin, I really am. I want to make it up to you guys. Please?"

"Look, we get what happened," said Kim, actually looking at Tulip. "And we know Kevin told us not to be too hard on you. But remember: he was our friend."

"Come on, I'm trying, okay?" said Tulip, clearly exasperated. "I just want more friends out of this place, and you guys are the only other girls here."

"What about Mandy and Buttercup?" asked Luz.

"What about them?" asked Tulip. "Anyway, all I've got is Nate. And, I mean, he's cool and all, but I really want some girlfriends, you know?"

"Maybe someday," said Star. "For now, we're still just annoyed about losing Kevin."

"How'd you even get that Immunity Idol, by the way?" asked Korra. "Lincoln seemed pretty convinced you shouldn't have that."

"Oh, that was Nate," said Tulip. "Lincoln told him where he'd hidden his Idol, so Nate went and stole it."

"I KNEW IT!" yelled Lincoln, leaping out of a nearby bush and pointing at Tulip. "I knew he wasn't on our side. Wait until I tell…" Lincoln turned around to leave, but got stopped as Kim grabbed his collar.

"Who exactly?" asked Kim, who gave him a threatening look. Behind her, Luz was holding a glyph threateningly, Star beat her wand into her hand, and Korra had a flame dance between her fingers.

"Uh…no-one?" said Lincoln, getting free from Kim and backing away slowly.

"That's right Lincoln, no-one," said Korra. "Because you know what'll happen if it is someone, right?" Lincoln could only nod in fear. "Good. Run along now." Lincoln ran along.

"Wow, thanks guys," said Tulip.

"That wasn't for you," said Korra. "We just don't like Mandy's group."

"Well, neither do I," said Tulip. "And, you know, enemy of my enemy…"

"We'll think about it," said Star.

"But…" started Tulip.

"We'll think about it," repeated Star. Tulip just sighed and left.

"Why don't we include her?" asked Luz. "She clearly regrets what happened with Kevin, and she is just a kid."

"She's twelve," said Korra. "She knows what she did."

"What? Followed the rules of the game?" snapped Luz.

"Guys, calm down," said Kim.

"Did she have to play the Idol?" asked Korra, a note of annoyance in her voice.

"If she's trying to win like the rest of us, yes," said Luz, also getting frustrated.

"Guys?" asked Star, getting concerned.

"Are you seriously prepared to just forgive the kid who got Kevin booted?" demanded Korra, getting in Luz's face.

"Forgive? Yes," said Luz, not backing down either. "Forget? No. There's only going to be one winner in the end anyway, and honestly, as long as it's not anyone in Mandy's group, I don't care who wins."

"Why you…" started Korra, a fireball forming in her hand.

"Attention campers, the next challenge is about to begin," said Chris over the loudspeakers. "Those of you about to fight, I recommend keeping that aggression for the challenge. Anyway, meet me at the Chrisosseum."

"The Chrisosseum? We already had a fighting challenge," said Steven. "What more does he want from us?"

"You know he won't be happy until we're tearing each other limb from limb, right?" asked Ben.

"I suppose," said Steven with a sigh. "I just wish he wouldn't keeping trying to push us towards aggression."

"That wouldn't have anything to do with why you've been glowing pink recently, would it?" asked Ben.

"I did WHAT?!" yelled Steven, suddenly looking scared.

"Uhh…nothing," said Ben, as Steven flashed pink again. "No, it must have been a weird trick of the light or something. It's probably nothing."

"Are…are you sure?" asked Steven, sounding extremely worried.

"Yeah, totally," said Ben, wrapping his arm around Steven's shoulder. "Come on, we have a challenge to do." Ben began leading Steven off to the Chrisosseum, who seemed to be starting to calm down.

Confession Cam: Ben

"Okay, I don't know what this whole pink Steven thing is, but if he's scared of it, I think it's in everyone's best interests to keep him from awakening it…I've just guaranteed it'll happen, haven't I?"

Soon, everyone was gathered outside the Chrisosseum, with Chris and Chef standing before them. "Okay, I know you're super excited to see what you'll be doing today…" started Chris.

"It's something athletic," said Nate.

"You don't know…" started Chris.

"It is. We already saw it before you got here," said Buttercup.

"Plus, you're too skinny to block the athletics track you've built in there," said Danny.

Chris glared at them, then sighed. "Okay, fine, you figured it out," said Chris. "Or, at least, you've figured out part of it."

"Okay, what's the rest of it then?" asked Mandy.

"Well, how many of you have heard of a decathlon?" asked Chris. All of the contestants raised their hands. "None of you, as I thought. The decathlon is ten events of running, jumping, and throwing. Usually it's done over two days, but we don't have time for that, so you'll be doing it over...I don't know, an hour or so?"

"You really think we'll get through each event in six minutes?" asked Kim.

"You might," said Chris. "You see, we've set this track up so you can do each event as you run. Because the 100, 400, and 1500 metres are all just running, we're just going to make you run a straight 2000 metres, peeling off to do the various field events and the hurdles as you go."

"And the winner gets an immunity idol?" asked Lincoln.

"No, it's hidden this time," said Chris. "But I do have a plot twist for you: there will be no voting someone off this time."

"So this is a reward only challenge?" asked Nate.

"Nope, I'm just going to eliminate the loser this time," said Chris. "Though if you have an idol, we'll move up the list until we find someone who doesn't."

"Wait, how does this work for the high jump and pole vault?" asked Luz. "You're not gonna have time to keep changing the height on those things, so how…"

"That is a good point," said Chris. "Which is why we've set up two." Chris indicated out to the field, where there were in fact two high jump and pole vault areas. "One is a minimum height to give you points, a height low enough that you should clear it no matter what. The other is a decent height that you MIGHT be able to clear. It'll give you more points if you succeed, but if you don't, you've wasted some time for nothing. Your call."

"High risk, high reward, got it," said Mandy. "Can we go now?"

"I don't know, can you go?" asked Chris. "Do you guys know how to do any slash all of these events?"

"I mean, I don't know the exact techniques, but I get the basic concept of what to do," said Tulip. "Does that count?"

"That's basically all we expect any of you to know," said Chris. "We're not expecting world record performances out of any of you, so just throw things within the sectors, jump without knocking over the bars and from behind the line, and keep to your lane in the hurdles, and we'll be lenient for you."

"That'll be a first," muttered Korra.

"Okay, with that out of the way, any more questions for me to ignore?" asked Chris. No-one put their hands up. "Aww, I was hoping at least one of you would for the sake of the joke. Oh well, off to the starting line."

"This looks like it's going to be fun," said Star, bouncing ahead of the group. "I've never seen how these Earth games are played, but if it's anything like Game of Flags back home, it's going to be absolutely barbaric and dangerous."

"You do know these sports have rules, right?" asked Kim.

"By the way, feel free to make this as barbaric and dangerous as you want," said Chris, pulling out a starting pistol. "Anyway, on your marks…get set…GO!" Chris fired the pistol, and the contestants took off. At about the same time, a seagull fell out of the sky right where Chris had just fired the gun. "Uhh…we can cut that, right?"

"Sure we can," said Chef, picking up the seagull. "In the meantime, I gotta get the contestant's lunch ready."

Meanwhile, on the track…

"You're going down, Wright," said Lincoln, pushing past Nate.

"No, you're going down Loud," said Nate, pushing back in front. "Err, why am I going down exactly?"

"I know what you did," said Lincoln. "I told you about my Idol in confidence, and you stole it. You didn't even use it for yourself, you gave it to Tulip."

"What? No, that's cra…" started Nate.

"Sorry Nate, I kinda let it slip, and he heard," said Tulip, running past the two of them. "He knows."

"…okay, fine, I did it," said Nate. "So what? What are you going to do about it?"

"Hey Chris, we're allowed to be violent, right?" asked Lincoln.

"Totally," said Chris. "Track and field is a contact sport, after all."

"No, it's not," said Chef.

"It is when I run it," said Chris.

"Excellent," said Lincoln, shoving Nate off the track as hard as he could. Nate stumbled, and fell face first into the long jump sandpit.

"Fine, if that's how you want to play," said Nate. "GAME O…" Before Nate could finish speaking, Star jumped onto his head.

"Okay, somebody measure that," said Star, running back onto the track.

Nate looked up from the sand, and saw an intern coming over with a measuring spike. "Oh no…" said Nate, closing his eyes tight as it came down…

Meanwhile…

"Gonna…get…the…hard…parts…done…first," said Luz, jumping over the last hurdle. "Whoo, okay, what else is there?"

"Well, the high jump and discus are on that inside part there," said Kim. "Maybe do that next?"

"Sure, two for the price of one," said Luz, dashing ahead.

"Wait, Luz," said Kim, picking up the pace to catch up to her. "Are you okay?"

"Never better," said Luz, easily clearing the higher high jump bar. "Why?"

"You're just…really pushing yourself, is all," said Kim.

"Well, yeah, it's a competition," said Luz, quickly getting off the mat.

"It's just that, after your…" started Kim, before noticing something about the high jump bar. "Wait, why is this triangular?"

"Yeah, with our budget we couldn't afford a new one, so we just got one of the old ones," said Chris. "Try not to land on it, it might hurt."

"Gee, thanks," said Kim, backing up to take a run at it. "Anyway, Luz…" Kim looked around, but couldn't see Luz anywhere. "Luz?"

"Sorry Kim, got a challenge to win," called Luz as she left the discus circle, having already thrown the discus out into the field.

"Right…" said Kim, taking a run at the high jump bar and clearing it easily. "I hope Steven's having more luck talking to Korra."

Meanwhile…

"Are you sure you're alright?" asked Steven, picking up a shot put.

"Of course I am," said Korra, stomping the ground hard enough to raise the metal shot put into the air, before launching it well beyond the back of the shot-put pit. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, Kim told me about the fight you and Luz had," said Steven. "And I just figured maybe you'd want to talk about it with someone…"

"Maybe after the challenge," said Korra, metalbending a nearby javelin into the air and sending it flying. "Besides, it's not that big of a deal."

"Are you sure?" asked Steven.

"What makes you think I'm not okay?" asked Korra. Steven didn't say anything, he just pointed at two interns in the field, one who'd been concussed by her shot put, one that had their leg impaled by her javelin. "Oops…"

"Eh, don't stress," said Chris. "Interns are a dime a dozen. By the way, you owe me 1.6666… et cetera, cents."

"Good to see you still don't value human life," said Korra, racing off to continue the challenge.

"Clearly I do," Chris called after her. "It's valued at 0.83 of a cent."

Meanwhile…

"Sawdust? Really Chris?" said Mandy, lining up to jump the lower of the pole vaults.

"Hey, I had to add a few extra bucks to my already excessive pay check," said Chris. "Plus, we're going sponsored by Log-Be-Gone, the world's number one logging company. If you need a rainforest removed, call Log-Be-Gone."

"Why do they sound like they're for helping with constipation?" asked Lincoln.

"…we're cutting that comment from the episode, so we can keep this very lucrative deal," said Chris. "For me, at least."

In the editing room while the episode was being compiled…

"Thanks for keeping that footage in," said a man from Greenpeace, handing Chef a large wad of cash.

"Pleasure doing business with you," said Chef, pocketing the money.

Back at the challenge…

"Well, might as well take care of this," said Lincoln, getting on the long jump runway. Lincoln ran as fast as he could, jumping into the sandpit, when he noticed something flying out with the sand he sprayed. "What the…"

"Oh, hey, I'll take that," said Nate, who happened to be coming past and saw the Immunity Idol Lincoln and just uncovered from the sandpit.

"HEY! That's mine," said Lincoln, running at him.

"I don't see your name on it," said Nate, running back onto the track. "Plus, you technically just threw it away anyway, so finders keepers."

"WHY YOU…" growled Lincoln, starting to give chase to him as Mandy grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Are you seriously about to go after a third Immunity Idol that you won't give me?" asked Mandy.

"Hey, it's not like you had a real claim to any of them anyway," said Lincoln, removing her hand.

"Watch what you say next," said Mandy in a voice that sounded very threatening. "You're my minion. You belong to me. And I say…"

"That I'm going to get that Idol," said Lincoln. "For me." Mandy's eyes widened in shock as Lincoln ran down the track after Nate.

Confession Cam: Mandy

"Huh…was not expecting him to grow a pair. Good on him. He has to die, but I'm still impressed by that."

Back at the challenge…

"So, don't you have, like, a billion aliens who can do all these challenges way better than you can?" asked Star.

"I do," said Ben. "But the constant changing takes time, time that will likely lose me the challenge."

"What about that superspeed one?" asked Star.

"XLR8 would be great for the running part," admitted Ben. "But I'd still have to stop and do the field events long enough that it probably wouldn't be worth it."

"You're worried it's going to give you the wrong alien, aren't you?" asked Star.

"That too," admitted Ben.

"I guess that makes sense," said Star. "Well, I'm gonna do the hurdles." Star leapt into the air, landing gently on the first hurdle, then continued gently jumping from hurdle to hurdle, somehow without knocking any of them down.

"That's…not how that's supposed to work," said Ben.

"True, it's not," said Chris. "However, I can't find a rule that says she can't walk across them, only that she has to go over them, and technically, she is doing that."

"Basically, she isn't wrong, but she should be," said Chef.

"Of course that's your ruling," said Ben, continuing the race.

The competition continued with various shenanigans, including Buttercup accidentally breaking three pole vault poles before VERY gently placing the fourth pole in the box and flying over the bar while holding it, Steven limboing under the hurdles before being told he's supposed to go OVER the hurdles, and Chris putting piranhas in the steeplechase water jump, only to be told be Chef that steeplechase is not a decathlon event. Eventually, the contestants were reaching the end of the challenge…

"I've…gotta…catch…Nate…" said Lincoln, struggling to catch up to the one who betrayed him. Lincoln sighed, then reached into his pocket. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this. Lisa, don't let me down." Lincoln pulled out the vial of super-strength formula Lisa had sent him, and pulled the cork out from the top of the flask. "Well, bottoms up." Lincoln closed his eyes and began drinking…

Meanwhile…

"Huh, fascinating," said Lisa, studying one of the vials she'd set up.

"What's fascinating?" asked Lucy, sitting in the corner.

"It appears the super-strength formula I sent our brother expires after two weeks," said Lisa, looking at a vial of the strength formula.

"So, it won't work?" asked Lynn.

"Oh, it'll work," said Lisa. "A little too well, in fact."

"Then shouldn't that mean it's better to leave it longer?" asked Luna.

"Let me finish," said Lisa. "It'll work a little too well, then it won't work at all."

"So it'll just be a quick burst of energy," stated Lori. "Big whoop."

"No, not quite," said Lisa. "It won't just be Lincoln's super strength that'll disappear, it'll be Lincoln's normal strength too."

"Oh…that sounds bad," said Leni. "Maybe. Is it bad?"

"Only if he drank it more than two weeks after I sent it to him," said Lisa. "Let's see…he received it for episode 10, and he's doing a challenge every three days. So…hopefully he drank it before episode 15."

"And if he didn't?" asked Lana.

"Lincoln isn't that stupid," said Lola. "Isn't he?"

Back at the competition…

"HEY NATE!" yelled Lincoln, whose muscles were suddenly getting larger. "I'm coming for you."

Nate looked over his shoulder and saw what was happening. "Oh *beep," said Nate, picking up the pace, only for Lincoln to start gaining on him rapidly.

"I've got you now," said Lincoln with a mixture of glee and threatening in his voice, reaching out and grabbing the back of Nate's shirt right before he could cross the finish line. "GOTCHA!"

"Let me go, man," said Nate, struggling against Lincoln's grip.

"Soon enough," said Lincoln, pulling Nate in close. "Just gonna take that Immunity Idol, then I'll…I'll…" Lincoln's large muscles suddenly started shrinking. "What…what the…"

"What was that about taking my Idol?" asked Nate, as Lincoln shrank down to normal size, then continued to collapse.

"Typical," said Mandy, casually walking past him and crossing the finish line. "Even when you're superstrong, you're still useless."

"Pfft, I could have told you that," said Korra, also crossing the finish line.

"Guys…please…" said Lincoln, struggling to move. "Something's seriously wrong…"

"Dude, you're just lucky we don't do drug tests on this show," said Chris, as more of the contestants crossed the finish line.

"To be fair, drugs would balance things out a bit," said Chef. "You know, given that half the contestants have some kind of superpower."

"Yeah, but then I'd have to collect cups of pee," said Chris. "Totally gross dude."

"Nate…please…" pleaded Lincoln, reaching for Nate from the ground.

"Dude, you just tried to take my Immunity Idol," said Nate. "That's a no from me." As if to emphasize his point, Nate moonwalked across the line, holding up his hands in a way that got them pixelated.

"At least your shoes weren't untied this time," said Tulip, hugging him.

"Ah…yeah…" said Nate, blushing a bit from the hug. "So, who else needs to finish?"

"No-one," said Chris. "Lincoln's just struggling back there. Now, who remembers what I said at the start of the challenge?"

"Ooh, ooh, I know, I know," said Korra. "You said that we weren't voting for someone this time, whoever comes last gets booted."

"You are correct Korra," said Chris. "Here, have a cookie." Chris pulled a cookie out of a bag he was holding, and threw it to Korra.

"Oh…thanks Chris," said Korra, biting into the cookie. "HEY! This is made of wood."

"Well, duh," said Chris. "Did you really think I'd waste a real cookie on you?"

"I guess that was optimistic of me," muttered Korra.

"But anyway…" said Chris, looking down at the struggling Lincoln. "Guess whose turn it is to go."

"No…" said Lincoln, trying to force himself to his feet.

"Yes," said Chris, nodding to Chef, who easily picked up Lincoln.

"I'll get back at you Nate, just you wait," yelled Lincoln, not even bothering to struggle against Chef.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll get back at the traitor for you," said Mandy, glaring menacingly over at Nate.

"Uh, am I still a traitor if I was never on your side in the first place?" asked Nate.

"Maybe not, but you'll still be just as dead," said Mandy, clearly meaning what she said. Nate gulped in fear.

"And on that cheerful note, it's the end of the episode," said Chris, completely ignoring the scene behind him. "Who's about to face the cruel fate of elimination next? You'll just have to find out, next time, on Total. Drama. Island."