Chapter 91, Spank War Arc part 9
Central East coast
Right as Olaf went into a full sprint towards William and Archie, the two teens took up their positions as the Vampire rushed towards them. When Olaf made for a grab at them, the teens slipped through his arms and grabbed the offending appendages. "Heave!" Exclaimed William and Archie as they used the Vampire's momentum against him and threw the man some quite a few ways away.
With an Earth shattering crash, Olaf was sent hurtling through several trees before coming to a stop at an outcropping of some rocks and boulders. "Rrgggh" grunted Olaf as he pulled himself out of the boulder he had stopped at, "It makes no difference!" He began while turning around, "You are mere-" was all Olaf got out before he choked from getting his neck slammed by two forearms.
William and Archie had made a sprint for Olaf's landing, and went for Clothesline directly unto the Vampire's neck, thus causing the man to stop in mid sentence of what he was about to say. The Spank Happy Vampire was immediately sent straight back into the boulder he had crashed into, leaving the man to groan from the sudden attack.
As the two teens roughly pulled the Vampire out from the boulder from both arms, they threw him down onto the ground. "Time fur th' gut punisher!" Cheered Arche as he hopped up onto the top of the boulder, while William rushed around Olaf and slid to perform an armlock. The Vampires grunted in pain as William pulled his arm from his shoulder, "ragh, don't even think about it!" Olaf denied as he attempted to get out of the submission hold, only to be rebuffed as William pulled his arm with more force, "aaggh" screamed The Spank Happy Vampire.
While William held Olaf down in the submission hold, Archie bent his knees before jumping high up into the air to land his gut punisher move on Olaf. "n' 'ere comes Archie wi' th' infamous gut punisher!" Archie crowed as he descended with his knee onto Olaf's stomach, causing the Vampire to lurch up in pain.
The Teens promptly got up to get out of the way when Olaf emptied his stomach's content onto the ground, the force of the gut punisher upsetting his stomach to a terrible degree. Not letting the Spank Happy Vampire any reprieve after that, William and Archie hooked their hands under Olaf's arms and threw the man up into the air with a loud heave from both teens. "Wombo combo!" Exclaimed William as he and Archie waited for Olaf to come back down from the air, and performed a clothesline from both sides of the man.
The Spank Happy Vampire had fallen upside down, thus when the teens had performed their move on him, Olaf was hit on his neck and Back. The end result from getting hit in such a way, spun the Vampire in the air until he slammed face first into the ground. Olaf groaned in pain as he laid face down into the ground, "nhom mhorem"
William and Archie looked to each other, before kicking Olaf onto his back, prompting the Spank Happy Vampire to groan in more pain. "Oi, Ah think th' eejit wants tae quit!" Archie teased Olaf with a smirk into the man's bruised face.
The man flashed a smirk, "hah!" He crowed in delight while grabbing Archie's face in a tight grip, William frowned in response. "Uh, you might wanna let go…" he warned, prompting Olaf to furrow his brows in confusion.
"Wha-" was all the Vampire got out before he felt his hand gripping Archie's face weaken, as the Scottish teen gripped the offending hand on his face. Olaf let out a howl of pain as Archie squeezed his hand in a death grip, "Keep yer grubby hauns aff mah face! ye overgrown bulging shite, pansy arse lookin'..." Archie started as he began putting pressure on the Spank Happy Vampire's hand, he pulled the man up onto his knees while squeezing ever more on Olaf's hand. The Vampire let out a pained howl from Archie's grip, "Please stop!" Olaf begged.
Archie quirked his eyebrow as he smirked at Olaf, "Oh, so th' big man can't handle a litte bit o' scots braun, whit nonsense urr ye smoking?" He chastised the Vampire.
Right as Olaf was about to try using his other arm to get out from Archie's grip, he found his other arm in the grip of William who grinned mischievously at him. "Alright Archie, let's finish this!" William announced, getting a shout of agreement from Archie.
The two Teens released Olaf's arm/hand respectively, prompting the Vampire to whimper in relief only to have his relief squashed as the teens laid a beatdown on his face and torso. The Vampire's body would be juggled around as the Teens threw uppercuts into his face, and axe kicks into the man's gut and back. William and Archie would take Olaf's lights out with a finisher, the two slammed their fists down onto the Vampire's head in an overhead swinging manner as if they were swinging down a sledgehammer.
As Archie and William relaxed their breath from the fight, the two grinned at each other before laughing in victory.
Archie pointed his thumb at his chest, "Foremaist round o' soda is oan me!" He cheerfully announced.
Shaking his head in response, "Nonsense, I'll buy the first round, it's the least I can do for the assist." William replied with a gracious look.
Archie shook his head back, "no my good friend, drinks ur oan me!" He declared with his fists on his hips in protest.
*ahem* cough out Chesire who was now standing by the two.
William smirked at Archie, "You bought the drinks the last time, allow me to buy this time!" He refuted.
"How do you say, 'scuse me?" Cheshire asked between the two with a finger in the air and a cheerful expression.
"oh na, when ah say drinks ur oan me, a'm paying th' foremaist round!" Archie vehemently insisted with a stubborn look
Cheshire rubbed his neck nervously, "Gentlemen pleaze, may I have your attenzion over here?" He asked.
William glanced towards the city and smirked, "first one to the city buys the first round!" He quickly said with a smirk.
Cheshire was about tired of asking so he inhaled deeply.
Archie gritted out an annoyed sound, "The hell ye are, a'm buying!" He yelled back.
"Gentlemen!" Cheshire yelled, eventually grabbing the two's attention. "Thank you!" He laughed.
Archie gave Cheshire a critical look, "What th', oi aren't ya that one slippery fellow from th' meeting?" He asked.
William allowed a confused look to cross his face, "I think the real question is what you're doing all the way out here." He asked the odd Vampire.
Cheshire pointed at William, "I haffe been tasked to bring you to Major Otto, he zays he vould finally like to meet you in perzon after you finished your fight!" He answered with a smile.
Archie leaned towards Cheshire with a perturbed and angered look. "'n' whit if he doesn't wanna go?" He rebuked, prompting William to shrug in response. "He's not wrong, I have other places to be." William noted.
Cheshire allowed a dark look to cast over his face while allowing a manic smile to split across his face, "I vasn't asking." He announced before snapping his fingers, before all three of them promptly vanished out of sight in a burst of mist.
With the Teens long gone, the lone and remaining Spank Happy Vampire whimpered and groaned as he lay on the ground in pain. "What the hell are they feeding these kids?" Olaf groaned out.
"I think your question should be what happens to you now." States a voice above Olaf, who looked up with fear. "You-"
The figure's upper torso was pitch black from the clouds covering up the full moon for a moment before revealing a man, who was in the process of fixing his leather gloves on his hands. The man had gray hair and beard, with a monocle affixed in front of an eye.
Olaf tried to murmur out a word, but could only get out one word from his fear. "Sven-"
"Now now." Sven admonished Olaf as he pulled out a syringe from his shirt vest, "You were warned by Master Otto-"
"To hell with your Master, you no good man servant!" Olaf spat out in contempt as he struggled to get back up, "I can still fight! I can still-" was what he got put before a foot promptly slammed down on his chest and pressed him back down to the ground.
Sven gave Olaf a disappointed and displeased look, "Your were beaten…" he states while emphasizing with his foot stomping down on Olaf's chest, causing said Vampire to gasp in pain. "You signed an agreement…" Sven continued while grounding his heel into the Vampire's chest, eliciting Olaf to cry out in anger and hurt.
The "Butler" then promptly removed his foot off the chest of Olaf, and began flicking the syringe's needle before testing it with a little squirt of the substance within it. "You gave your word that you would relinquish your Vampiric powers after your supposed defeat." Sven explained to Olaf with boredom.
"I can still get up and fight!" Olaf responded with a begging tone.
Sven released a disappointed sigh, "A man should know when he is beaten, and you?..." he kneeled down towards Sven, "You have been soundly beaten, now allow me to remove your abilities permanently, and I am not asking!" He demanded before preceding his operation, while Olaf screamed into the night.
A lone car was parked out on the highway, with Sven by the side of it and leaning up against it. The back door on its side was opened with Olaf's body lying in the back seat, his skin no longer pale and his muscles returned to their normal sizes.
Sven released a sigh as he pulled out a cigarette box from his chest pocket on his vest, and fixed himself with a light. After proceeding with the action he has been so familiar with for so many centuries, Sven blew out a smoke with a relaxed but tired sigh. "These young ones just don't know when to quit." He murmured to himself.
The man-servant held his cigarette with his mouth while taking off his monocle to clean it, from the inside of his vest he took out a lens cloth to begin wiping the eyeglass of smudges. "Ah, to be young again…and full of ambitions too." Sven chortled through his mouth, while the cigarette hung from the corner of his mouth.
After finishing his cleaning of his eyewear, Sven placed his monocle back in place before stowing his cloth back into his inner vest pocket. He took his cigarette back out of his mouth, and blew another smoke out with a smirk. "I would find you funny, Olaf, if you weren't so pathetically drunk on the power you once had." He mused.
From out of his pants pocket, Sven brought out a cell phone before dialing in a few numbers with his thumb. With the numbers he was dialing in, Sven brought the phone up to his ear. After a few rings, the sound of the call getting picked up happened. "Olaf is taken care of…" Sven glanced up at the moon. "...Wulfgang? He's busy with that Young Lady…yes I know…"
Sven frowned and brought his arm up to glance at his wristwatch, "Yes I know we should begin wrapping things up…very well then master, do take care." After the person on the other end hung up, Sven stowed his cell phone away. After flicking his cigarette off into the grass, Sven brought his foot down onto the cigarette to squash out any remaining embers. Once he was sure the cigarette was out, Sven promptly headed to the driver's seat after shutting the backseat door closed.
With the vehicle's engine roaring to life after Sven entered the car, the man drove off into the night with the only sign of evidence of him being there the crushed cigarette butt.
Southeast coast
Shannon gleefully took the initiative of her fight with Cree by unleashing her spikedl whip out, and snapped her weapon out towards Cree's neck. Her attack was rebuffed by Cree as she had struck the whip's end out of the air, only to get it wrapped up by Shannon's whip. "Too easy." Noted the risque Spank Happy Vampire.
Cree pulled the taught whip and Shannon towards her with a smirk, "I don't know about that." She responded while pressing a button on the grip of her electrical baton stick, a burning smell wafted in the air as Cree's weapon had increased its voltage and began burning the whip off.
Shannon let out an annoyed grunt and dropped her spiked whip. "No matter, might well fight electricity with electricity." She mused while Cree ran towards her.
With a flourish of motion, Shannon swung out her electrical whip and twirled it at Cree who deflected it back while running. The Vampire had to leap back as Cree swung her weapon towards her torso, and retaliated back with her electrified whip at the Teen's wrist.
Cree had to spin and swerve around Shannon's attack as they continued to dodge and deflect each other's weapons, neither able to yet get a hit in as the combatants fought aboard the ship. Cree would occasionally try to get inside Shannon's guard as they maneuvered around the ship's deck, only to get herself out of harm's way as the Vampire twirled her weapon to defend and whip at Cree.
The combatants' weapons sparked and buzzed as their weapons collided against each other, until eventually Shannon's footing brought her up against a doorway leading back inside the ship. Not accepting to be stuck in such a way, The Spank Happy Vampire flourished her whip out quickly to latch and swing the bulkhead door open and continue to fight Cree.
Continuing their fight through the hallways of the ship, Cree's and Shannon's weapons would graze the walls with sparks flying from the high voltage of electricity emitting from their respective weapons. Neither of them were able to get inside either's guard in such a cramped space, until their fight reached a set of stairs leading up to the bridge.
Shannon leapt up onto the hand rails, and kept jumping until she reached the top floor then turned to look down to taunt Cree. Her arrogance was quickly squashed as Cree was already upon her with a double kick to the face. Cree had swiftly followed after the Vampire up the stairway, and leapt up to grab an overhanging bar on the ceiling to launch herself at Shannon with her feet out.
The Spank Happy Vampire was launched into the air from the attack, and was sent through a door that busted open from the impact. Inside was the bridge and controls, with a few remaining Vampires manning the room. Just as Shannon was getting up to start ordering some help, several darts flew into the grunts' neck who promptly fell unconscious from the tranq darts.
Shannon swiftly swung her whip up and out to deflect a blow from Cree, as the teen resumed her fight with the Spank Happy Vampire. "Don't think I'll lose so easily!" Denied Shannon as the two fought across the bridge.
"Plenty have said that before." Cree snarked back as she rebuffed an attempt from Shannon of tripping her feet up with the electrical whip of hers.
Eventually Shannon managed to wrap her whip around Cree's weapon, only to get pulled over by the Teen. "Get over here!" Cree demanded with some effort on her part, with the Vampire getting tugged over and stumbled in surprise.
Not accepting her predicament one bit, Shannon brought her whip back towards her after releasing the tension in it. "I should be the one in control! Not you!" The Vampire shrieked in anger as she curled her whip up, and only emitted electricity at the parts not gripped by her. Shannon swung her pseudo chakram at Cree, only to clash with the Teen's weapon and began to struggle as they pushed against each other's respective weapon with their own.
In a sudden motion from the two combatants, their weapons struck the control panels in their duel of strength. Cree had allowed some slack in her resistance to throw the vampire off balance, but the end result had Shannon's weapon strike a nearby control panel. The two went back into trading blows against each other's weapons, both working on ways to trip up the other as klaxons began blaring out.
With a sudden jerk of motion, the ship began to take off towards the mainland. As Cree increased her tempo of attacks, so did Shannon as they clashed their electrical weapons.
Outside there were screams of 'abandon the shop', and splashes from lifeboats dropping off the ship with the crew leaving for safety.
As the ship eventually reached and crashed through the docks, from out of the windows of the bridge came crashing out Shannon with Cree not far behind them as they flew through the air from the velocity of the ship.
Not deterred by the event of the ship crashing and them flying out through the windows, Cree and Shannon kept exchanging blows with their weapons until the Vampire crashed into a cargo crate while Cree maneuvered in the air to tuck and roll across the roof of a dock warehouse.
The Spank Happy Vampire groggily pulled herself out from the crate she had crashed into, within moments later her state of mind allowed Cree to get the jump on her and get kneed in the back with her whip flying out of her grasp. "Grahh!" Yelped Shannon as Cree grounded her knee into the back of her shoulder, the teen grounded her knee into the Vampire's shoulder while slamming her electrical baton into the back of her skull to finish her off.
Cree picked herself off the ground and released a huff of breath as she stepped away from the knocked out Spank Happy Vampire, "Bitch didn't know who she was messing with." She taunted to the air with gratification for her win, before frowning to herself. "Oh shit!" Cree realized the event of what had just transpired, and turned around to see the cargo ship that had crashed onto shore and tore through the area.
"Ooh." Cree winced, smirking with a plan in mind. "Blame it on these asshats!" She nodded to herself with a grin, and smirked at Shannon. "Good luck paying off the damages!" She snarked out.
Northeast Coast
Stacey went into a full sprint towards the werewolf, who in turn sprinted as well as the two Teens ran towards each other. Right as Wulfgang made for a swift grapple for Stacey, the teen herself slid under the werewolf and shot her Hawkeye into the stomach of Wulfgang.
The teen wolf let out a yip of pain before spinning around in place while holding stomach in pain, and made for a swipe at Stacey's legs only to be shot in the face as the teen had shot her rifle up at Wulf's face from down on the ground.
As Wulfgang stumbled back on his 'hindlegs' from the force of the shot, he had to grasp his face to rub it in pain. Stacey rolled onto her stomach and released another shot into Wulfgang's foot, eliciting a howl as the teen wolf hopped in pain. "ENOUGH" Wulfgang yelled out in a rough voice, stomped his foot down and glowered at Stacey who was now standing back up with a challenging smile.
The teen werewolf swiftly ran towards Stacey who retaliated by shooting off her rifle, only to miss as Wulfgang swerved through her shot and slipped through her guard. The teenage werewolf preceded with an uppercut into Stacey's jaw while her arms held her rifle above her with the barrel facing up, in response, the butt of Stacey's rifle unleashed a loud boom into Wulfgang's face right back as she had pulled a secondary trigger that allowed her Hawkeye to shoot a buckshot of chili pepper seeds.
The werewolf howled in pain as his eyes were assaulted by a mist of hot peppers, prompting Stacey to take her next shot to hit Wulfgang in the head. Wulf tripped over himself and fell onto the ground, before rolling on the ground to try in vain to rid the pain in his eyes.
"It's funny you know…" Stacey mused as she walked around the suffering form of Wulfgang, "Doesn't matter who you are, the eyes are always the most vulnerable." She remarks while loading up a tranq bullet into her rifle.
Just as Wulfgang tried to get up and see through his irritated eyes, Stacey had her rifle aimed at his chest. "Sweet dreams!" She quipped before the Werewolf was shot with plenty of Tranq to last him the night.
While the werewolf dozed off in his impromptu sleep session, Stacey released a tired sigh and made her way for a nearby fallen tree to rest a bit. "Hope the others are okay." She idly wondered as she rested her rifle against her shoulder while sitting on a fallen tree.
Chapter 92, Spank War Arc part 10
The sudden motion of how Cheshire transported Archie and I away, caused quite the stir in my stomach. Much so that after we arrived wherever the odd Vampire teen took us, the two of us collapsed with pale faces.
"Shite man…" Archie groaned as he hung onto a chair nearby, while I was dry heaving next to a trashcan nearby.
I could begin to hear Major Otto's voice chuckle nearby, prompting me to glance over to see the Vampire sitting at the end of the oval table nearby. "Do forgive zhe Experience of Cheschire's ability. It can be quite, how do you zay, jostling?" He mused.
After my stomach felt better within another moment, I gave the Major a haphazard shrug. "It's not the worst experience, I can tell you that." I remarked.
Otto gestured towards the chairs nearby, "Now, zince we already have zhe formalities done from earlier." He began with a cheerful look, "I have ein pleasant disch hot und ready to be zerved while we discuss ein topic I've been itching to ask you."
Archie, who was now finished adjusting his orientation, had steadily stood back up. He gave Major Otto a confused look. "Whit sort o' nonsense urr ye speaking, aint'cha th' head honcho Villain or something?" He asked.
The major quirked his lip in amusement. "You vould be correct, actually, but more to zhe point, I wish to pit mein philosophical ideas of Adulthood Against Zir William Cumperbatch Uno." He answered
I furrow my brow in slight surprise, "huh, so this is going to be a fight between thoughts and philosophical ideas on adulthood huh?" I glanced at Archie who glanced back, both of giving each other a shrug before pulling out a chair.
"Vunderbar!" Exclaimed Otto before he clapped his hands, "Zhe meal should be arriving momentarily!"
"So ye really were anticipating us?" Archie asked with a cautionary tone but an amused look.
Otto chortled, "what can I zay, I orchestrated zis all as mein retirement party!" He mused.
Now that I find weird, all this for a Villain to stage for his last time to commit his Villainous activities? "But why involve the entire world?" I asked pointedly.
"Call it zhe majority of zhe Spank Happy Vampires' last hurrah before zey hang up zeir coat, as you zay." Otto answered in a relax tone, "But more to zhe point, it is zhe Deutsch Bestrafung's last night." He continued.
I could smell something good begin to waft in the air. "Is that the smell of cooked potatoes?" I asked.
Major Otto grinned in delight, "Indeed, tonight we vill be enjoying zome Kartoffelpuffee, zhat iz ein potato pancakes if you are vondering."
"Don't forget zhe bratwurst!" Exclaimed Cheshire from behind the Major's chair, whom chuckled in amusement at the Vampire's antics.
"Ja, ja, Allow mein cooks to show you teens how bratwursts really look und taste!" Otto exclaimed enjoyably.
Well, the Villain isn't short on accommodating his guests, I can tell you that.
I would say the meal would have been awkward given our situation, but neither Archie nor I could get a word in while eating. It would have been rude to talk with our mouths full, regardless of the situation, and the food was too good to simply speak another word.
It was after we finished that we could resume our talk, "Zo…" began Otto as he wiped his mouth and lips with the napkin cloth given with the silverware.
"Tap notch oan th' grub ye bastid!" Archie mused while cleaning his teeth with a toothpick.
"Almost better than Grandma Stuff'em's food." I remarked after wiping my mouth off with my own napkin.
Otto smiled and leaned forward on the table while clasping his hands together. "Good, now let's begin jousting vords, schall ve? Ein battle of wits you could zay!"
I settled myself with a look of piqued interest. "What do you have in mind first?" I asked him.
The Major held index finger up, "First, what do you believe adulthood is?" He asked with interest.
I rubbed my chin in contemplation, "Hrm…can't say that's a loaded question…but a question I figure that can have more than one answer." I remarked.
"Exactly! Zhe children of zhe vorld, und to ein greater degree, zhe teens, vill eventually become the very thing zat zey either fear or hate!" Otto exclaimed in amusement. "But you of all teens, I vant to know how you view aging."
I eyed Otto with a peculiar look. "To be honest, I am of the mind that nothing ever lasts forever." I started while going through my thoughts. "Children should enjoy their childhood as best as they can, while the Teens eek out the last bits of their best years before responsibility crashes down on them."
"That, and probably to a lesser extent those in their twenties." I added with a haphazard shrug. "I think that's when we as humans are at our prime in youth."
Otto let out a sound of amusement with a delighted look. "Very interesting, a teen vith a refreshing outlook…" he mused, before looking at Archie. "Any comments on that?" He asked him with a pointed look.
"Oi, A'm juist a simple laddie 'ere, ye ripe bastid, ah plan oan taking ower th' reigns tae mah family's Sheep business back in bonnie Scotland." Archie answered in a relaxed tone.
"So you view adulthood as inheriting responsibilities." Otto mused to Archie, before looking back towards me.
"What has been your outlook Major Otto?" I asked him with piqued interest.
The Major leaned back with his hands clasped and placed his leg on his knee in a relacing manner. " Glad you asked for mein zoughts now!" He exclaimed in enjoyment.
"Now as you know, I am pretty old by centuries, zo mein views may be old fashioned." Major Otto began with a wistful look. "Children had it rough back zen, und I am zpeaking centuries ago pack zen." He explained.
I gave Otto a peculiar look, "I would dispute old folk always brag about how things were back then, but you have sort of a bigger gap in how long ago you were a child…" I remarked.
Major Otto chortled, "Indeed, I can how you zay, flex is zhe vording, on every old perzon bar zhe vampire known as Vlad." He said in amusement.
That got a good laugh from Archie, with a bit of a chuckle from me. "So your answer then?" I inquired.
Otto placed his foot back down from his knee and leaned forward on the table, "Right, mein own childhood years were ein stark contrast to zhe children zat Experience zeir childhood years of now." He remarked while his eyes drifted up in thought, before directing sharply back at us. "No matter what one zays, children during zee seventeen hundreds had nozing much to do."
"Other than outside activities?" I asked.
The Major allowed himself an amused smile. "Anyone was lucky to get even ein wooden toy, but zhe adult Villains back zen were quite harsh compared to now."
"Worse than Grandfather?" Archie asked with his eyebrow quirked up in interest.
Otto swatted his hand through the air as if he was shooing off a fly. "Balthazar Uno was ein spoiled, selfish, rotten child compared to Agatha zhe witch of mein era." He spat in contempt.
"So…how do you see children and teens today?" I asked Otto after a little thought.
The Major released an amused chuckle. "I envy zhe kids today, but I will not let zat bozer me Anymore."
Archie gave Otto a perturbed look. "Bin regretting yer spanking days?" He asked pointedly.
Otto pursed his lips in an amused manner. "Contrary to popular belief of Spank Happy Vampires, I very rarely spanked children or even Teens." He answered with a pointed look at Archie, who shrugged back in response, "Jus' assumed" Archie offered.
"Und you know what zhey zay about making assumptions." Otto said in amusement.
"You make an a-" I began, only to get interrupted by Otto.
The Major shook his finger at me, "ah, ah, ah, we may have ein civil discussion right now, but do not forget vhat I am. I vill inform your fazer if you utter zat vord." He tutted at us with a disappointed look and frown. "You didn't need to zay zhe vord." He finished.
Archie and I shrugged at each other, before Otto continued where he left off from. "Now, I have spanked some quite evil und nasty kids when zhey deserved it, a far cry compared to zhe Spank Happy Vampires of today."
"I am quite glad kids these days get to enjoy zheir early years, Ordinary humans can only live for so long after all." Otto mused.
"So…what was the point of this Spank war?" I asked with a confused look.
Otto shrugged to himself. "Many reazons in fact." He began. "Clean houze of every Spank Happy vampire sect, celebrate zhis night as mein last night in Villainy, Und I am not alone in zhis eizer, quite ein few Spank Happy Vampires are retiring too." He remarked.
"I would ask why you involved the entire world, especially the east coast of America…" I began, before The Major finished where I was going with it.
"I am ein Villain after all…" Otto mused with a slight chuckle. "I have lived long enough as a Villain, I want to hang up my coat after so many years…"
I mulled Otto's words over, before a thought came to mind. "So what now? Are you planning to withdraw your forces or at the strike of midnight or something?" I asked.
The Major offered a smile. "Effery turned Spank Happy Vampire at zhe stroke of midnight will return pack to normal, ein nice little Ability of mine to cauze zhe turned to have zeir Vampiric state removed." He answered.
"And ya' own forces?" Archie asked with a confused look.
Otto allowed himself to form a dark smile. "Zhey were warned, finish up by midnight or be left to the whims of zhe enemy." He offered as his answer.
As if by announcing it just then, a clock nearby struck midnight with its chime going off. Otto brought his wristwatch up to view it, "Ah how time flies…" he mused then glanced towards me. "Mr Uno…" he started.
I let out a chuckle and shook my head, "Out of every Villain I faced, You were not someone I could merely fight against." I mused.
Major Otto gave me a proud look. "Indeed Mr. Uno, you can not always solve your issues with violence." He remarked.
"Ain't tha' hypocritical of ya?' Archie pointed out while gesturing towards the window to the outside. "Ya' took par' in this spank war afta' all."
"But…" Otto paused with his finger raised, "Did I personally attack first?" He asked more towards me.
I began to tap the table in front of me in thought, "You make this war quite unconventional, especially when you are retiring from Villainy altogether…"
Archie shot me a look, "And ya would believe th' man?" He asked.
Shooting Archie a look of my own, "Here's something of a quote that may help our situation…" I began while Otto had an investive look on his face.
"Know the enemy and know yourself in a hundred battles you will never be in peril. When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. If ignorant both of your enemy and of yourself, you are certain in every battle to be in peril."
After finishing the quote I remembered from memory, I earned a clap from Otto. "Well well, a reader of Sun Tzu I see." He chortled.
I offered a shrug, "The best I can get from that, is to place your feet in your enemy's shoes…" I offered my thoughts on it.
Otto made a wishy washy motion of his hand. "It can be debatable, but our time is about up." He remarked with a sigh afterwards.
"Jings, crivens, we have to go thro' getting transported again, don't we?" Archie groaned in dread.
This was a really weird night in all honesty.
Chapter 93, Spank War Arc part 11
Just as Archie and I went to stand up from the table, Otto snapped his fingers with a grin. The next thing I heard was a whoosh out from peripherals, prompting me to see that Archie had disappeared out of view. I swiveled to give Major Otto a look, whom simply stood up with his palms on the table.
"Now zhat it is just you und me, let's discuss a more prezzing matter." Otto began as he began pace around the table towards me, with his arms behind his back.
I kept my guard up as the man made his way around towards me, stopping just shortly a few feet away with a chair standing between me and him. "A more one on one talk, I suppose?" I inquired.
Otto's eyes gleamed as we stood apart, while he leaned his arm on the chair nearby a bit. "Quite zo, I have a burning quiztion." He responded back.
I offered the man a shrug, "Shoot then, I will see what I can answer."
Major Otto released a soft chuckle, before flashing me a knowing grin. "Why does a teen, by vhich I mean you-" he pointed at me with his other hand that is not resting on the chair nearby, "Have zhe eyes of zomeone zhat has already lived a full life?" He asked inquisitively with a smirk.
Silence rang throughout the dining room of the Zeppelin we were in, the only sound coming from the soft hum of the aircraft's motors and the battles outside waning into the night. "...Mind running that by me again…" I asked with trepidation
"Relax." Otto states in a carefree nature, "I know very vell you are human, I've checked your DNA after all…" he smirked at me, "Zo zhat leaves out zhe possibility of zome Alien surrogate child to Benedict." He added amusedly.
There is no way I could lie through this, I never thought something like this would happen. "Would it matter what my answer is?" I asked the centuries old Vampire.
Otto offered a smile, "Vhat iz zaid here, never leaves, und do not lie…" he smirked at me, "I'll be able to tell."
"...Let's say you may be right…" I began with nervousness as I grabbed a chair nearby to sit on, while Otto did the same with the chair he was leaning on. Once we both sat back down, I looked into the man's eyes for anything, but only saw curiosity. "I state the fact I am Benedict's son…"
Otto let out a hum of thought, "Of Zhat, I am zure."
"What, you managed to get a blood sample or something from somewhere to get that?" I asked the Vampire.
"Back during your trip in France, your fight against zhat Giselle girl provided ample data after all on you." Otto answered back in amusement
Okay, getting spied on aside, at least I can always prove I am wholeheartedly human. "My earliest memory is my third birthday with my father, Benedict Uno…something I can be thankful my cognitive functions did not come into existence right after birth." I explained to him.
Otto placed his chin on his fist, with a look of interest. "But why do you live vith zhe eyes of a man zhough?" He inquired.
"...with the theory of the multiverse you are no doubt aware is now true…would you believe in the existence of reincarnation?" A asked him lamely with nervousness.
The Vampire released a deep laugh before calming himself down. " …" he began while his laughter calmed down to chuckles, before calming down. "What you are implying iz zhe least bit weird when you compare your situation to others worldwide."
"...now that you put it that way…" I rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment.
After a bit of silence between us went on for a moment, Otto continued his conversation with me. "Vas your previous life here on zhis planet?" He asked with a tilt of his head.
I eyed the man a second before answering. "My first life was on the Earth, but not this Earth." I answered back, not sure If I should go into detail of how this world existed as a cartoon show.
"Very interesting." Major Otto as he looked into my eyes for any deception, but found none. "Vas zhere adult Villains zhere?" He asked while cupping his chin in interest.
"...no, but…" I pursed my lips in thought, before continuing. "If you asked if there were evil people…well…" I shook my head at the notion.
Otto promptly had a look of understanding, "Evil vill always exists in mankind…" he murmured softly and smirked, "Our race is never want for violence, no?" He chuckled darkly.
I gave Otto a critical look. "Just be glad your country, much less the world, experienced a world war." I shot at him, prompting Otto to give a look of interest.
The man acroos from me released an amused sound, "Hmm, I zuppose with all zhe Villainy across zhe history of our vorld, und zhe ztupidity of zhe common politician…" Otto flashed a rueful grin.
Knowing where this was going, "All they ever do is try to think up new ways to make children miserable." I finished for Otto.
The both of us shared a brief chuckle, before Otto resumed his impromptu questionnaire. "I almost forgot!" He snapped his fingers in realization, before pulling out a tattered up book titled "KND book of awesomeness".
"Vithin zhis book, lies zhe complete history I have documented zo far of every age…" Otto states before sliding the book over to me, prompting me to catch it before it slid off the table.
"...you were…" I began with a shocked look.
Major Otto smiled towards me with a melancholy look, "I'm a tad jealous Benedict got zhe chance to do zhat traitorous man-child alien in." He remarked while spitting out the mention of the tree alien with disdain.
I looked down at the book, before back at the man. "So what now that you know my little secret?" I asked him, only for him to shrug to himself. "Nozhing." He simply answered.
I furrowed my brow, "Not planning much, now that you're retiring from the Villain life?" I asked.
Otto frowned towards me." , when you get to live as long as I, zhis sort of life gets old after zhe zecond century." He admonished.
"...fair…" I state back while standing up from my chair, "Anything else you wish to ask?" I inquired.
The Spank Happy Vampire leaned back on his chair with a grin. "Do you truly plan on bringing back your grandfather?" He asked out of the blue.
I gave Otto a look, "I think you're confusing me for my father." I denied.
Otto tsked at me, "Now now, I know very vell zhat zhe recommisioning module in zhe KND museum has been replaced with a fake one." He wagged his finger at me, "Und my personal researchers have been getting readings of chronomancy in your general area…" he leaned forward towards me on his chair.
"William Cumberbatch Uno…" Otto drawled out in a warning tone, and a sharp look. "Beware of zhe pandora's box you plan on opening." He warned darkly
"...The chronomancy is touch and go…" I weakly offered while rubbing my forehead in frustration. "I am still working on a counter for the senior citizombifiaction."
Otto lifted his brow in interest with folding his hands in front of him. "Vhy go to all zhe trouble, Vhy would you risk bringing back Balthazar for?" he inquired.
"...I believe my dad needs some closure…" I softly answered with a somber look, that Otto returned with a look of understanding.
"I zee…" Major Otto began with a curious look. "You vish to give your father a second chance to face zhe man he feared as a child." He flashed a smirk at me and leaned back on his chair. "Vhat an exquisite plan…" he mused before sending me a disappointed look. " , do not underestimate zhat man your father once feared as a child." He warned.
I released a sigh at that, "It's not like am slacking in my training though-"
"Vhatever you have been doing, increase it tenfold." Otto interrupted with a fierce glare, prompting me to raise my hands half surrender. "Never believe for a second zhat your grandfather iz a pushover like so many other villains." He warned.
After a few moments have passed between us, Otto proceeded to get up from his chair. "Now allow me to show you zhe exit." He gestured towards the doorway.
I eyed the man warily, "What about your forces?" I asked Otto, only for him to simply snap his fingers with a smirk right as a hand was placed on my shoulder, Cheshire being the owner of said hand as he leaned into my view.
"It was a pleasure ." Otto announced as my vision was obscured by mist and swift movement out from the Zeppelin.
Several hours later
Homebase
I sat with my chin resting on the conference table, and arms sprawled out across the top. Having just woken up from a short six hour sleep, I had taken to sleeping at Homebase with a heads up given to my dad.
A lot of things were going through my head, but none more prominent than how the majority of the Spank Happy Vampires had up and left into the night. All the turned Vampires returned back to normal, with a majority of the Teen's in the Rebellion embarrassed about their actions. I don't blame them either.
I just want to relax before someone barges through the door with another possible emergency.
Chapter 94, Enjoying the new Warfare Gunner video game
To take my mind of of things, and relax a bit, I figured a good day of video games would help. Ease my mind after the event with the Spank war...but..
There's something to be said about the early days of game chat in video games, I think it's universal that people will always talk smack and slurs to other gamers in a lobby.
The new Warfare gunner game had recently been released on the gamestation three, and with it came the debut of chatting in the game lobbies and game chat to coordinate with your teammates. I in particular had to play over at homebase, dad is a bit strict when it comes to video games. Quite honestly I know where he's coming from, but video games can be a nice hobby during downtime.
Using one of the large monitors with the speakers turned down to a reasonable degree, I took out the disc of Warfare gunner from its case to place it inside the console of mine. There's some satisfaction to be had when the games did not need to install patches on day one of release, I can definitely appreciate those years back in my old life.
With the chime of the game initiating, I was greeted with the title screen. I had some chips and soda, my chair was comfy, and a brand new headset. Let's fucking do this.
Gamelobby for 6v6
I had to turn down the volume of my headset as my ears were assaulted by a cacophony of screams and shouts; yeah, this definitely brought me back to the early days of Modern Warfare 2, and Halo 2 lobbies.
xX_GigaChad_Xx: I literally hear you choking on a fat dick, while getting fucked by a dildo! I can almost smell the sweat coming off from you after your session of spanking the monkey!
Um…was that Chad? Good grief man, god help you if your parents hear you.
69MechaMan69: Maybe you should stop sniffing me like a #$% , and you might actually win a round for once you #$%.
Harold? …okay that I can almost believe to have such a potty mouth. Good god.
X-Covert-Woman-X: Oh fucks sakes, stop masturbating to each other, and just learn to actually win for once!
Huh, at least Cree isn't as bad.
BigD1kdickus: Ooh, better watch out, we got a girl in the chat.
Really Steve? That gamertag choice?...okay, actually that did happen in my last life, lots of gamertags held names like that before the game companies cracked down on that.
X-Covert-Woman-X: And this girl single handedly made your mom wet last night!
69MechaMan69: Ooh got a fiesty one here
BigD1kdickus: It must be her time of the month.
Jiminy cripes, they're going all out here tonight with the insults.
X-Covert-Woman-X: You're one to talk little bitch #$%#
I had to pull my headphones off and look at them incredulously, but I could still hear them insult each other over raised voices.
TheTommy: Guy's can't we just get along and play a nice game session?
Oh good god Hoagie's brother is in the lobby.
xX_GigaChad_Xx: Oh for fucks sakes, we got a squeaker.
TheTommy: Heeey, I can't help it if my voice squeaks.
69MechaMan69: Go back crawling to your bitchass mom!
TheTommy: Why are you guys so mean here?
X-Covert-Woman-X: Go suck your thumb and take a nap, bed wetter.
TheTommy: Hey, I haven't wet the bed in four years!
BigD1kdickus: waaah, wah, wanna go cry about it?
I placed my headphones back on after adjusting the volume a bit more, only to hear a vacuum begin sweeping through Tommy's mic.
Give me a few minutes honey, gonna sweep up a little here.
xX_GigaChad_Xx: oh come on now!
TheTommy: Sorry guys, my mom-
69MechaMan69: Is that your mom I hear?
BigD1kdickus: Fucking hell
xX_GigaChad_Xx: Is she single?
Not something you should be asking Chad, sheesh.
X-covert-woman-x: Can we please just vote kick this squeaker out?
Watcha playing there honey? Enjoying your new game?
For the love of God , I do not know how Tommy managed to bamboozle you into getting him a rated M game, but please back away less your ears are assaulted.
TheTommy: Mom, please! I'm trying to play Warfare gunner!
BigD1kdickus: Just fucking go kill your-
All a sudden loud music began blaring through the lobby's chat room, its origin coming from-
0-IceColdQueen-0: All right bitches, who's ready to get their cheeks slapped!
My eyes widened when I realized it was Giselle and talking smack with loud rock music blaring in the background.
xX_GigaChad_Xx: Woman can you please fuckin turn that shit down!
69MechaMan69: My damn ears dude!
Silence finally rained as the lobby finally loaded into the match, leaving me a sigh of relief. Right as the match started up, the rock music continued.
Bigd1kdickus: Gilfs always have the hottest bods.
I immediately mute my mic after that, and begin playing the game. I forgot that the early days of game chat could be toxic, crazy, and downright hilarious all at once. Right now though, I think after hearing that last bit…I could do for some pure ranking match without the slurs and insults for now.
Later that day.
At home
After a few hours spent playing some rank matches in Warfare gunner, I decided to head home for the day and relax with a good book or something. Anything to get away from the game lobby chat, sure hope Wayne hasn't developed rude behavior in voice chat…nah there's no way he would...
...Jonny though? Maybe...
As I made my way through the hallways of my father's house, I could begin to pick up the sounds of Warfare gunner going on.
…Odd…I made my way towards the sound, eventually reaching my dad's study room…I gently opened the door to see my dad aggressively playing with his controller while playing a match…
Dad allowed himself to growl in anger, "Watch your tone toilet ex Lou, you won't be talking such a big game after I'm through with you!"
At least he didn't curse or something, "Hey dad…"
Father jumped in his seat and immediately shut his console off, before looking at me. "Son…eh,erm, this isn't what it-"
I gave my father a look, "I should just warn you, game chat can be quite…rude and awful." I warned with a rueful grin.
Dad allowed a dark look to shoot towards me, "This stays between us, this never leaves this room."
I raised my palms up in surrender, "Hey, we all have our vices." I point towards the exit with my thumb, "want me to start up dinner?" I asked him.
"Right…tonight's spaghetti…" Father murmured to himself, and sent a thankful look at me. "Go right ahead, I'll be down after the next match." He added.
Let it be said that anyone can enjoy video games.
Chapter 95, Villain Mart
Today was grocery day, and I was tasked to grab the produce and miscellaneous items dad had written on his grocery list that he had promptly given to me before driving off using his car. A Villain discount card was given to use at the Villain mart that dad often frequented, god help me if shit goes down in some grocery aisle…no, pretty sure something will go down.
After finding myself in a nice parking spot, I leisurely made my way into the store. It's industrial air conditioning prevalent as I walk through the sliding doors, and towards the carts nearby. First two carts had crap wheels, third was fine so once I managed to pull the damn thing out from the other carts I was off into the store.
"Welcome to Villain mart, where all your Villainy needs are met." Greeted an employee by the entrance and exit doorway
I sent a nod towards the person and continued onward, until the guy that greeted me grabbed me by the shoulder.
"Dude…" I started as I spun around and gave the employee a look. "Please remove your hand away from my shoulder." I demanded with a glare.
The person sent a glare my way through his Villain mask. "Villains only kid, take your tush right back out!" He ordered sternly.
Slapping the hand off from me, and pulled out my dad's Villain discount card to show him. "My dad sent me to get groceries, 'Father' to be more exact." I argued
The employee greeter held up his hands in surrender, "heh, heh, whoops, sorry kid…" he nervously laughed.
I shook my head at him and eyed his employee name tag. "It's fine Dave, I just didn't think I had to use my dad's name to get any pull for once." I explained while placing the card away.
Dave rubbed the back of his neck, "Right, just protocol though, my job requires me to 'try' to stop any KND operatives from attacking this place." He exclaimed humorously.
"...Just you?" I asked incredulously.
Dave shrugged, "If anything, I'm more or less supposed to warn the rest of the store whenever the Kids Next Door crash through the doors…" he let out a chuckle of amusement.
I allowed an amused look to cross my face, "Pay any good?" I asked him.
"Been working here for ten years. Started out at ten dollars an hour, now I get twenty." Dave boasted with a puffed out chest.
Huh, not bad for getting a dollar raise each year he had stayed. "Why the increase by a dollar a year?" I asked him.
Dave sent me a smirk, "Perks of staying as an employee for so long kid, management even offered me Manager by the end of the year with a six figure salary."
"Dang man." I whistled appreciatively, "Is management that desperate to keep their employees?" I asked.
"You ask me kid, The KND attacks this place almost once a month. Most employees and managers leave after the first year or so." Dave explained with amusement.
"Hmm figures." I murmured and held my hand out, "Name's William Uno, nice chat Dave."
The man returned the gesture, "Same to you William." He gave a nod before I made my way into the store.
Nice conversation that could have devolved into a fight…
"Okay, first pick up the steak and other meat…" I murmured while pushing the cart towards the butcher aisle. Glancing around I can see various freshly packed steak on the fridge racks lining the wall near the butcher. Nice…
I look at what the grocery list asked for, looks like I'll be needing to ask for precise cuts from the butcher personally. Looking where the counter is, I saw a small monitor hanging down with the number to be served next. Well that brings me back to certain times, pull a ticket and wait for your turn.
Making my way to get a ticket, I began to hear a cart rush towards my spot. I quickly looked around to see That old Cat lady bum rush towards me. "Outa my way, I need all that meat for my kitties!" She hissed as she rushed over, prompting me to quickly grab a ticket in a hurry.
"Lady, don't even dare!" I warned with a glare as she attempted to run her cart into mine, only for me to pull it out of the way and kick her aside with my foot. The old cat lady yelped as she was sent reeling from the kick. "Yeow, didn't your parents teach you manners!" She whined while rubbing her behind
I rolled my eyes at the woman, "Take it up with Father." I shot back with a dirty look.
The cat woman's eyes widened when she finally recognized me, "Wait, why is your dad sending you here, when he should be shopping here himself?" She asked grumpily.
"Uh, because he wants me to take up responsibilities and learn how to shop on my own?" I responded back.
The old cat lady grumbled, "Well …I…grrgh I still need meat to feed my kittens!" She screeched.
I immediately pointed towards the pet food aisle, "Woman, you shouldn't even be feeding your cats pure human food, pet food is made for a reason after all!" I argued with a glare.
"I want to feed my pretties the best, not some dried up crap!" The lady heatedly spat back.
I smacked my face in exasperation, and slid it down to glare at her. "Then buy the wet pet food!" I tried to calmly state.
"...There's wet cat food?" She softly asked in shock.
It took all my self control to not pop a gasket, "yes." I tersely state, "What's next, milk for your cats?" I sarcastically ask.
The old cat lady perked up and allowed herself a smirk. "Of course I give my-"
"Cats are lactose intolerant lady!" I hissed through my teeth and glared at her.
"...Is that why my sweeties always end up with diarrhea and puke?" The woman asked confusedly.
I begin to bang my head on the handlebars of my cart, "Lady, take a trip to your local veterinarian, they'll help you learn how to better take care of your cats!" I exclaimed with a faux happy expression towards her, causing the cat lady to shrink back in wariness.
I swear I better not run into a Karen…
After I managed to procure the meat listed on the grocery list, I promptly made way for the plant based food area. Plenty of fruit and vegetables to go around with bins and aisles packed to the brim.
Down side? The Soccer Mom Villain was grabbing every bin of vegetables to buy, and make veggie-smoothies for her childrens' next game. Good god woman, where do you get the money to buy all that?
"Why not make protein shakes instead?" I asked her as I swiftly grabbed a package of carrots.
The Tiger mom of a woman peered at m.j e with a look, "Protein shake?" She asked after hefting a bin onto her cart somehow.
"Yeah, first use a blender on your preferred meat, then puree the stuff further into a drinkable form…" I pointed towards the kitchen appliances aisle. "I think there's a nice device to churn up meat that's on sale." I added.
Soccer mom looked between the vegetables she was planning to take, then towards the meat aisle before back at me. "Why not use healthy food instead?" She asked me with a suspicious look.
"Ask your dietitian first." I simply answered, "I'm just speaking from memory that meat is better when it comes to doing sports and outside activity."
Soccer Mom ended up calling her actual dietitian, surprising I know. She left in a hurry after getting her confirmation of the benefits of a protein shake. God help the kids that have to drink the stuff…wait does Soccer Mom even have kids though? I mean, the show never presented a fact, but it's possible she has children…
Anyways, getting the required vegetables and fruit listed, I was nearly home free after I get milk-
**crash**
*clean up in the milk aisle, Villain incident has occurred.*
Well, guess the milk will have to wait, I'll just grab some at a gas station or a normal store. Good grief, I am just glad the KND haven't attacked the place during my shopping.
**kurkkrassh**
I had to pull my cart back as I was aboit to makung mt way to the cashiers as a large cart vehicle crash through the front doors, with Sector V driving through the store towards the cereal aisle.
Well…okay…
Making my way towards the cashier, I spotted Dave again who was now at said cash register. "Hey Dave." Hi nod towards the guy as I begin placing my products on the conveyor belt.
"Oh, hey William." He gave a nod back at me, "Find everything okay?" He asked
"Pretty much, just trouble here and there with villains getting uppity at taking every item off the shelves." I answered with a shrug.
Dave let out a frustrated groan as he scanned my food, "Just be glad it isn't clearance sale day." He grimaced.
After he finished scanning and began bagging the items, I took out my dad's cards for the discount and to pay for the food. "Sheesh, it's that bad compared to now?" I asked after I swiped the cards.
Dave allowed himself to roll his eyes, "Come here next friday for the clearance sale, management hires eleventy times the security." he answered while assisting me to put the bags in my cart
I sent him a look, "I am quite honestly curious enough to see it."
"Just be sure to bring armor or what form of protection." Dave remarked with a smirk at me.
"Right…good talk." I nod at him before leaving, getting a wave from him. "Come again…but not on Wednesday."
I turned to look at him with a curious look, "What could be worse than clearance sale day?" I asked him.
Dave gave me a dark look, "Cereal gets restocked."
…People need to try out different food for breakfast.
I shook my head and left, "I swear." I muttered.
Home
"Did you have any trouble?" Dad asked after I pulled into the garage, and exited the car.
Popping the trunk open, I shook my head. "Had to get milk from General's general dollar store." I answered.
With a look of understanding crossing his face, dad went around the car to begin helping get the groceries in. "Figures." He muttered while we began hauling the food in.
"Well at least I didn't shop on clearance day right?" I chuckled, only to get a dark look sent at me.
"William…" Dad began as he paused in his walking, "I will only warn you once, if you ever go to a clearance sale at Villain mart…"
I gave my dad a look of piqued interest, "Um…gear up?"
"Exactly."
Good god, how bad does it get? Even dad is cautious of clearance sale day.
