Twenty-Six


Rex forced himself to take it easy.

For the first time in his life, he learned to fully relax.

There was no way of avoiding it, the initial shock at seeing Tash at the house with Fives had brought back memories of the woman he shared a child with.

He wasn't perfect and feelings of jealousy would have to be shelved.

Along with self-pity, anger and disappointment.

But Rex had a bigger agenda.

He would be the last person to admit that it actually helped having both Ahsoka and Tash around to help with Piia.

And they both seemed more than willing to help.

How hard could it be right?

He was on a steep learning curve.

Piia was now starting solids. This was something the former soldier found frustrating and he soon began to resent the hours wasted attempting to get food into her.

"Is this normal?" He asked rather rudely one afternoon.

"It sure is Rexie," Ahsoka smiled and cooed at the infant, taking the spoon and lifting it high while making, what he thought were engine noises. Rex looked truly perplexed. Piia loved it and opened her mouth, happily swallowing the orange mash.

"Cubes are less messy," he grumbled as he stood and wiped the muck from his pants.

Rex took on fatherhood like a mission. Working out the parameters and contingencies for each day.

It's just none of them went to plan.

He had changed the bedroom to accommodate Piia, dragging the mattress onto the floor to avoid her rolling off the bed during the night, feeling immensely

self satisfied that he had eliminated a potential hazard.

Not that he slept.

Rex would spend most of the night watching every breath she took.

As he had once done with her mother.

The simple act of bathing always went over the allotted time and he would come out wetter than the infant he was attempting to clean.

"Argh, I give up!" He stated one morning, dumping the howling child onto Ahsoka's lap.

"Oh come here you poor thing," she soothed.

Rex softened, feeling foolish, "it's just she won't stay still."

"I wasn't talking to you," Ahoska replied deadpan.

The house, thanks to Piia, was humming with activity.

Even Tash was growing on Rex; she didn't revere him like Fives and wouldn't placate his intemperate mood swings. Together with her no nonsense approach to the practicalities of life, they all found their place and quickly became a high functioning unit.

Slowly Rex sought out company in the evening.

He never spoke; just walking into the lounge with a caf he would sit and watch the holonet with the others, listening to their conversation. Eventually he joined in and began to discuss the work that needed doing to improve the property that had been neglected for four years. Tash was mindful of her relationship with Fives, and to a man who had just lost his life partner, she made sure not to flaunt their armour in front of the captain. He and Fives had spoken briefly about what happened the night the order was given, but it was Ahsoka that had filled in the missing pieces.

Rex knew Fives.

He knew he would have made it his business to find out the minutia, just as he had done with barracks gossip back on Coruscant.

And he knew the captain would talk when he was ready.

Overall, things were beginning to improve, Tash had noticed Fives' mood improve tenfold.

Rex had got him moving more, and had taken to walking the properties fence line.

"Sitrep Fives."

Fives turned and flashed an enormous smile.

There you are, there's my old Fives.

This is what the ARC had missed, the connection to something from his past. Shot, injured, transported and relocated. Fives was disjointed and unresolved.

But with the arrival of Rex he quickly realised that he wasn't alone in carrying emotional Republic baggage.

Rex made mental notes of what needed to be done. More people had become aware of the house built into the side of the mountain and he was determined to make it a strong hold against the ever-present threat of the Empire.

It was a perfect change of season day. The air, whilst still cool had a hint of the heat that would follow in the coming months. Fives watched as Rex removed the equipment he had brought with him from the garage to rebuild the southern fence.

"Fives. String a line and mark out where the new posts are to be driven will you."

Fives tried hard to hide his surprise, and for the first time in months he felt truly alive again.

Rex watched how he moved out of the corner of his eye.

He could see that Fives found it difficult to bend at all, but managed to crawl along, marking the position of the new holes by banging in the stakes while on all fours.

Many would see it as humiliating; a once elite soldier on his hands and knees crawling around in the dirt.

But Rex didn't.

He was proud that Fives had found a way to carry out the order. It was something they were trained to do, all of them; find a way to get the job done.

No matter what.

"Between the two of us we might be able to finish this by next winter." Rex was out of condition as well. Even though he had recovered from his injuries, he was still physically weaker than he had ever been.

I'm mentally weaker as well.

As the morning rolled into early afternoon, both removed layers of clothing as they worked, Fives stopping short at his thermal.

He was embarrassed by the scar from the hack job that saved his life. The scar wasn't straight like a surgeons or a B1 Med tinnie but an emergency incision that had healed crooked and puckered in spots along it's length.

Rex pulled his shirt off as he dug another post hole, his skin glistening as he ploughed the auger into the soft earth.

"Pass me that post will you Fives?"

Fives stood riveted to the spot, he hadn't had to lift anything up to this point.

"I can't," and then more loudly, "I can't lift it Rex."

There was no shame in what he said. He had been perilously injured, he didn't have the bacta to help him regain full mobility and he had accepted that the trade off for living, was one with limitations.

"Sure you can," Rex grunted as he thumped the hole one last time for good measure. He stopped and turned, letting the shovel drop to the ground and wiped away the sweat on his arm. "Here," he said breathing hard, "we'll do it together."

And they did.

Rex took most of the weight, Fives could feel that, but for the first time since he was shot by Fox, he felt as though he had a purpose.

They then placed the first pole and Fives held it firm and straight.

"You know," Rex said as he poured the bag of durocrete into the hole, "if we did a bit of training, I reckon you'd get some muscle weight back." He sniffed another bead of sweat off the tip of his nose and smiled as he looked up at the ARC, his eyes squinting with the sunlight. Fives remained silent, watching Rex as he jiggled the grey sludge around the wooden post.

"What'd you think, hey? I could sure do with the exercise."

"I'm not like we were Rex."

"None of us are Fives, none of us are." Rex stood and dusted his hands together before he moved over to the next marker.

As the afternoon crept away, the south fence was finally repaired, better than when it had been built.

"Do you think we could camouflage the entire fence line under the trees?"

"It's possible." Fives said as he looked around, "those bushes there could be replanted. They'd make fine cover."

"Copy that," Rex said as he lay back on the ground closing his eyes and letting his aching muscles finally rest. The fence, which would normally have taken two clones in their hey day three hours to repair had taken the entire day. Both of them were exhausted from lack of fitness, but they had finished what they had set out to do.

Fives lay on his left side, he couldn't lay straight any longer than a couple of minutes before he would wince in pain and have to move.

Rex was aware of his breathing and said nothing.

It was Fives who spoke first.

It was time.

"Did you ever think in your wildest dreams we'd end up like this?"

"It beats the alternative."

Fives then laughed before the air caught in his throat and he began coughing.

"Easy ner vod," Rex said sitting up.

"Fek," Fives wheezed, "I hate being like this."

"We'll fix it Fives." It was a simple statement, but it meant the universe to Fives.

Rex laid back down again, "that woman of yours is a keeper."

"Don't know why she puts up with me."

"Mmm," the late afternoon sun was warming their aching muscles and both could have easily fallen fast asleep.

"Are you alright Rex?"

"No." There was no point sugar coating it. Fives heard Rex tick his tongue before he continued, "I'm angry Fives, and sad, confused, but mostly I'm frightened. I am so scared I'm going to make a mistake I feel paralysed to make a decision."

"Apparently it will take some time."

At that comment, Rex turned his head ever so slowly and stared him down. "I'm so sick of hearing that as well."

"I know, but eventually it gets better."

"Does it really?"

"Fek no," Fives laughed out loud, lifting the seriousness of the conversation slightly, "but it's what Tash says will happen."

Fives looked at Rex and grinned.

"You know what the worst thing is Fives?"

Two dark eyes stared back, waiting for him to continue.

"The worse thing is that I never saw it coming. None of it. I was such a fool – right up to the end I never thought Skywalker would turn on me. On us! I can see it now, fek, deep down I knew it then, but never admitted it. He led us to believe that we were invincible but he killed us all slowly; picking us off one by one as we got caught up in his tragedy."

Fives remained silent.

"Then the order. Who'd have thought they'd make us do it? It does my head in. I just wish, ah - "

Rex shook his head.

"Sir."

"I wish I had nothing to compare it all against, you know? The good times, even the bad, they just make everything hurt even more, and I feel guilty because while I miss her, I miss the men also. Jesse, Hardcase, Echo, Kix."

"They were good vode."

"The best. They all were, that's the trouble. Being in charge wasn't important, it never was. But that feeling of knowing you had a team with you. I hate being alone." Rex forced an uncomfortable laugh, "see, I could never have made ARC."

Fives waited before he broke the silence. "They say a true leader is one that creates an opportunity in which others do great things. You did that Rex. You inspired all of us to do the unimaginable. Rishi, Kamino, Umbara. Each and every campaign, you knew your men could rise to the challenge."

"Not Umbara."

"Especially Umbara. We knew what needed to be done, we never needed the Jedi to take the Capitol. You never doubted any of us. That's not Fett, that was you," he stressed, "the Kaminoans knew it. I bet even Skywalker knew it. Maybe that's why he - "

"Stop!" Rex stood, "enough!" That's when Fives noticed his hand shake. Rex quickly grabbed it in an attempt to conceal the tremor.

"I just did as I was ordered. Nothing more, nothing less."

Nothing more, nothing fekking less…

.