MULTIPLE INFERI ATTACKS ACROSS GREAT BRITAIN!
By Franklin Snodgrass
LONDON
The Ministry of Magic today warned all witches and wizards living in or visiting the UK to be prepared for inferi attacks. Ministry spokesperson Gwen Holcheck told The Quibbler there have been thirteen recorded inferi sightings within the last two weeks.
"We've seen them mostly in Scotland but also some of Northern Ireland and England. So far, they haven't been farther south than Manchester."
An inferius is a human corpse animated by dark magic. They have little will of their own but are compelled to do the bidding of the necromancer who created them. While resistant to most forms of attack, they are vulnerable to fire.
"We recommend all magical folk practice fire charms and place incendiary wards around their homes and places of business," Holcheck said. "Also, remember your muggle friends and neighbors. They have no defense against inferi and suffer from the persistent myth you can kill them by attacking their heads."
"We don't have a definitive answer as to why the inferi are appearing in the northern parts of the country," Holcheck told The Quibbler. "It could be that something is summoning them. It could be a coincidence. I can't say more at this time."
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Who's the "paper of record" now? L.L.
