Nursing a near-empty glass, his eyes did a slow lap around the room. Where had everyone gone…?
Enjoying a brandy and trying his damnedest to lighten the mood, he'd been forced to fall back on a few of his more amusing anecdotes. And here he was, thinking he might have finally made some headway and broken through the tense atmosphere. But now, looking around at the abandoned room, the empty chairs and settee, maybe he hadn't got anywhere, after all. He shrugged. It seemed pre-dinner drinks were over...
Taking a sip, he stared across the room to the window where Georg had spent the past half hour sulking. Graciously stepping aside from chaperone duties for the afternoon, Elsa had convinced him – quite easily, in the end – that a few hours alone was just what the happy couple needed. But their trip to town seemed to have the opposite effect. The air in the sitting room had been buzzing with tension – and not in a recently-engaged-couple kind of way.
He shrugged, maybe the afternoon had been a huge success and all was fine until they returned home. Finding the children missing and off on some misguided adventure, might have sabotaged things. Either way, Georg was more distracted than ever, and Elsa was fast losing patience. He sighed. Having just announced their engagement, they should be inseparable, deliriously happy even. Heaven knows, he'd settle for civil and friendly.
Standing up, he walked over to the window where Georg had been pacing like a madman. Staring out at the lawns, if he craned his neck, he could see past the garden beds, over the short hedge and beyond manicured lawns, to the path that ran along the lake. Clearly, something had been going on outside – no doubt, something to do with the children. Whatever mischief they'd been up to, Georg had walked out of the room as if in a trance, completely ignoring Elsa. He could hardly blame her for making her feelings known with a few snarky remarks. He sighed again, more heavily this time. Walking a tightrope would be easier than being stuck in the middle of these two…
He hadn't thought it possible, but Elsa's mood had taken a turn for the worse when the children thundered through the foyer like a herd of elephants. The prospect of dinner had certainly lifted their spirits, and despite the doors to the dining room still being closed, the noise from the adjoining room hadn't died down. Still, it was nice to hear the children in full voice again, even if they were a little boisterous. Taking another sip of brandy, he stared out at the tranquil gardens. Georg's brood hadn't been this excited since the night of the party.
Poor Elsa… Sometimes, he wondered why she still bothered with Georg. The man needed to wake up before it was too late. He needed to realise she was the best thing to happen to him in a long time. And it was a miracle she still put up with him. A less determined woman would have given up a long time ago. True, Georg might not be giddy-head-over-heels in love, but who was at this age? Elsa was beautiful, charming, gracious. Along with her wealth and connections, there was no other woman better suited to filling the role of Baroness von Trapp.
Sighing, he wondered if he should have a word with Georg. Remind him to stop taking Elsa for granted, to stop assuming she'd always…
Good Lord! What was that noise?
Glancing over his shoulder toward the foyer, he caught a glimpse of a flash of blue. Was it one of the girls? His frown deepened when he heard heavy footsteps taking the stairs. Well, whichever one it was, there'd be no dinner for them tonight…
Turning back to the window, he ran a finger and thumb down his moustache. His bet was on Louisa. It wouldn't surprise him if Georg discovered she was the ringleader of the afternoon's shenanigans. Emptying his glass, he smiled. The girl was so much like her father, it was almost eerie. It no doubt explained why he was harder on her than the others. He knew only too well, what lay in store as she grew older. If she only got up to half her father's mischief, it would be more than enough…
With no prospect of anyone rejoining him for drinks, he decided this called for further investigation. Placing his empty glass on the bureau, he walked to the doors of the adjoining the room. For as long as he could remember, the doors were closed while staff prepared the room for dinner, but this week, they'd remained closed while the children ate. One of Elsa's 'little' changes…
It had been a brave move on her part, changing something that Agathe had put in place. He sighed, wondering how long this one would last. It was obvious, Georg wasn't a fan of the separate mealtimes, and he had to admit, the children could be quite entertaining over dinner. He'd rather missed them these past evenings.
Reaching the double doors, he took hold of the handles and pulled them open with a little more drama than necessary. He smiled as the noise suddenly stopped and the children turned to face him, expressions frozen and cutlery suspended in mid-air. But guilty looks quickly melted into smiles and relieved laughter.
A lap of the table told him all seven children were present and accounted for – even Louisa. So, who was the mystery figure running up the stairs? Even if Elsa had been wearing blue, he knew she wouldn't be caught dead running anywhere, let alone inside. And especially in heels. He prayed Georg hadn't done anything stupid…
Deep in thought, he'd barely noticed the children's chatter had started up again.
"Oh, Uncle Max!" Gretl squawked at the top of her voice so she could be heard above her brothers and sisters. "You aren't Fraulein Maria!"
"Fraulein Maria…?" Max frowned at the girl. His eyes shifted to the rest of the children, all nodding their heads and still fighting to be heard over each other. "Of course, I'm not Fraulein Maria! She's at the Abbey, Gretl, my little…"
"Not any…" Friedrich began to explain.
"She's back!" Brigitta cut off her eldest brother, not letting his flash of annoyance across the table dent her excitement.
"Fraulein Maria's returned!" Kurt cheered loudly to no one in particular.
"Now, now!" Max held up his hands, silencing the children. "You know it's not fair, playing games on poor old Uncle Max…"
"It's true, Uncle Max," Liesl announced from the far end of the table, with a smile that could light up any room – just like her mother. "Fraulein Maria is out on the terrace talking to Father."
"Fraulein Maria…?" Max mumbled as he turned blankly toward the doorway, almost expecting the governess to appear and prove the children right. He turned back to the dining table. Between mouthfuls, the children's chatter was back in full swing.
Well, well, well… this certainly was an unexpected, if not fortunate, turn of events. With all kinds of possibilities running through his mind, one thing stood out above everything else.
He might have these children entered in the Festival, after all…
oOo
Maria had returned…?
The words reverberated around his head over and over, and over again.
Maria had returned…? It seemed impossible, but it was true. Instead of the three words being a statement of fact, they were a question that kept repeating itself. If he hadn't seen her with his own eyes, he wouldn't have believed it. Part of him, still didn't. But he'd spoken to her, so it must be real.
Oh God, what had he said…?
He groaned inwardly, kicking himself. Whatever it was, probably none of it made any sense. Patting Elsa's hand absentmindedly, his feet moved slowly, mechanically, leading her up the remaining steps to the terrace.
Sceptical of Maria's reason for leaving, he had no idea what brought her back. The reason no longer exists. What exactly did that mean? Four days ago, she'd missed the Abbey terribly, but now she didn't. None of it made sense. Racking his brain, he wondered what the real reason had been in the first place. It felt like trying to solve a riddle without any clues. Honestly, understanding the manoeuvres of enemy commanders was child's play compared to making sense of this woman...
Berating himself, he wondered if he really needed to know the answer. If she believes the reason no longer exists, then it mustn't be important. Fraulein, you've always been so outspoken – if I needed to know, you'd tell me. Once again, he reminded himself, only one thing mattered. She was here now.
His heart was racing at the thought. She'd come back to them! He'd given up ever seeing her again, and yet, here she was. Just like she'd never left. Wide blue eyes, those freckles that had appeared across the bridge of her nose by the time he'd returned from Vienna, her unmistakeable scent that hung in the air like jasmine blossom on a humid, summer evening…
The fingers that had hung loosely beside his leg began to move, coming to life. She was no longer here on the terrace, yet the burning need to touch her, feel her, was once again, all-consuming. Springing to life, returning like it had never left… His fingers curled into a tight fist, oblivious to sharp nails digging into a palm calloused from years of riding.
Maria had returned…?
The toe of his shoe caught on the edge of the top step. Silently, he cursed himself for not paying attention. Was it obvious, how affected he was? If he weren't so distracted, he might have noticed Elsa's hand tighten around his arm. But he didn't. He was too focused on battling the war raging beneath the surface of his stony façade – suppressing his excitement, hiding his emotions, controlling his thoughts. Oh God, she'd returned…
Concentrating on each step, he walked across the terrace, barely aware of his surrounds. Stepping through the back door, he frowned at the children's muffled excitement, winding its way into the grand foyer. Not so long ago, he would have stormed into the dining room like a tyrant, interrupting their dinner, demanding silence, even terrifying the younger girls to tears. Instead, his guilty heart tightened at their shared joy and excitement. Maria had returned to them…
"…Georg…?"
"Hmmm…?" he mumbled. Oh God, what had Elsa been saying. Pulled out of his thoughts, he looked down, realising he still held her hand. Dumbfounded, he stared at their clasped hands, as if they belonged to another couple…
"Oh, Georg, you're a million miles away!" Elsa chided playfully, but there was a serious edge to her words, an unmistakable hint of annoyance.
"Perhaps I am…" he reached up and tugged at his ear as they walked across the foyer toward the staircase. He had no idea where his feet were leading them. "It's been a long day…" he added apologetically.
"Well, I don't think any of us were expecting it to end quite like this," Elsa muttered under her breath, still thrown by what had confronted her outside. "Who knew Fraulein Maria would be returning?" she added with forced brightness.
"Hmph…" he answered, refusing to be drawn into a discussion. He had to make sense of this in his own mind before trying to put any words around this unexpected turn of events. Discussing it with Elsa was out of the question. "I need to take care of something…" he muttered under his breath, abruptly letting go of Elsa's hand. Turning on his heel, already striding toward the hallway that led to the safety and solace of the study, he missed her look of shock and disappointment.
"I'll see you at dinner then, shall I…?" Elsa called out after his hastily retreating figure. But there was no response. Exasperated, she clicked her tongue and turned away. Reaching the staircase, she sighed at the racket coming from the dining room.
Why had that bloody nun returned…?
oOo
It felt like an age, but he finally found himself outside the study door. With an unsteady hand, he reached out and turned the handle. It wasn't until he had the door closed behind him and the key turned in the lock, that he released all the air in his lungs. It didn't help. His chest, still tight, felt like it was going to burst. God, was he having a heart attack…? Perhaps, a stroke.
Tugging impatiently at the knot in his tie, he slumped against the back of the door. If each breath wasn't taking every ounce of concentration, he might have noticed the beads of sweat settling on his brow. But he didn't, as he gulped in a mouthful of air, his chest expanding as his lungs filled. Pausing for a moment or two, he released the air on a long, drawn-out sigh.
Swiftly unbuttoning the collar of his shirt, his breathing was still laboured. Each breath was as slow and deep as the last. It must have taken a minute or two, perhaps more, before he wasn't fighting for air. With his muscles finally relaxing, some of the tension in his body eased. It wasn't just the tension from these past ten minutes, but the tension that had been building these past days. He thought she'd gone forever. He'd resigned himself to never seeing her again.
He smiled, a ridiculous, giddy grin. So, you've returned, Fraulein…?
His heart soared. He wanted to laugh, wanted to shout, wanted to sing for joy… Could there be a more perfect end to a day? Maria was back home, back where she belonged. But his silly smile fell away.
She wasn't planning to stay. Only until arrangements can be made for another governess. He squared his shoulders against her words. None of this made any sense. If the reason for abandoning them no longer existed, why not stay until the end of summer?
He needed to know the reason. There had to be some explanation as to why she couldn't stay on as governess. What had happened at the Abbey? Perhaps, the Reverend Mother had agreed to her becoming a nun.
Maria a nun…?
He snorted at the ridiculous thought – it was almost as ridiculous as the children's berry picking story. She was too full of life, too spirited, too outspoken. She couldn't follow a simple instruction if her life depended on it, and now, she was giving up her life for a never-ending list of archaic rules. None of this made any sense.
Surely, she knows how much they need her, she must realise she can't just up and leave them again. The children would be heartbroken, and then, there was him. He'd have to replace her. Replace her…? The idea was ludicrous. She had to stay.
Squaring his shoulders, he needed to seize the second chance they were given. He'd do whatever it takes. It wasn't beneath him to commandeer the children to help convince her.
She could ignore him as much as she liked, but he knew she couldn't resist the children...
oOo
Stripping down to her underclothes and splashing cool water on her face, hadn't made a jot of difference. She sighed. Her cheeks still felt hot, burning hot. Cupping them with the palms of her hands, she wondered if they'd ever cool down. Would she ever get over the shame? Glancing up at the mirror above the basin, she barely recognised the eyes staring back at her. Dark circles, puffy, blood-shot eyes. Still, she hadn't cried – not yet, anyway…
But the hot, shameful tears weren't too far away, threatening to overwhelm her the moment she let her guard down.
The Captain was marrying Baroness Schraeder…
Swiping angrily at a single, stray tear with the back of her hand, she wondered how she'd misread things so badly. Shutting her eyes, she forced back the rest of the tears that were dangerously close to following the first.
Heated looks, awkward smiles, spinning in his arms. She'd never forget those magical moments when they danced the Laendler. Pressed against him, breathing the same air, believing they were the only two people in the world...
She should have known, it had all been in her head. Fingertips pressed against trembling lips. Surely, she hadn't imagined him wanting to kiss her. She'd been certain, when they stopped turning, if she hadn't stepped back, they would have kissed.
Opening her eyes, shaky hands found the edge of the small hand basin as she tried to steady herself. Feeling lightheaded, her stomach in knots, she felt ill. The world she'd known, or thought she knew, was now spinning further and further away from her. Nothing was making sense, everything was turned upside down.
The Captain didn't love her…
The reality was heartbreaking. He didn't love her, he was in love with another woman...
Letting go of the basin, she straightened up and glanced around the small bathroom. His engagement to Baroness Schraeder, a declaration that was as brutal as it was final. There was only one thing left to do. She should leave. She'd done it once before, she could do it again. Write a note and slip out while the family were having dinner. After all, he already knew she wouldn't be staying. That's exactly what she'd do! It was the only thing that made any sense. She had no right to be here – especially now.
The other night at the party, to her great shame, Baroness Schraeder had pointed out how obvious she'd been. Her hands clutched her stomach, the physical pain almost unbearable. Oh, how closely she'd guarded her feelings for the Captain. She'd been so careful, had tried her best to avoid him. And when she found herself around him, she'd tried to keep her secret safe. But the Baroness was a woman of the world who knew about these things. A man can't resist a woman who loves him. And she loved the Captain. She knew, deep in her heart, she always will. Staring at her reflection, it was obvious, she had to leave.
Fingertips ran tentatively down her cheek, still hot and flushed despite the cool water. Had he known just now, could he see? She'd rather die than have him discover why she'd returned. It was because of him, because of some silly fairytale she'd made up in her head. She couldn't stay, she couldn't be a distraction to the Captain. Or worse, tempt him… It would be wrong. The man she loved was marrying someone else. Staying was out of the question.
Spinning away from the mirror, she turned to the adjoining bedroom. Taking a step, she stopped in the doorway. Strangely, after being here for most of the summer, the room no longer felt like hers.
You don't belong here anymore, Maria – you don't belong anywhere...
She forced one foot in front of the other, taking a step, and then another, before her feet stopped a second time.
The children….
Her heart tightened. The children had been so happy to see her, they'd welcomed her back with open arms, without any question. She'd missed them almost as much, if not more, than their father. She tried her best to forget them, but found herself constantly wondering what they were doing, praying they were happy, selfishly hoping they might think of her some of the time. Memories of their summer together were precious and wonderful, but all too heartbreaking. And now, at the thought of leaving them again, her heart was being torn apart, all over again.
But she had to leave – there was no choice…
Finding herself beside the bed, she stared around the room blankly. Her bag, her guitar…? Friedrich and Kurt had been carrying them along the path. Then he'd appeared, and everything became a blur. Trying not to cry, concentrating on the right things to say, desperate to escape the humiliation. She hadn't noticed if her bags were beside the stairs, but then, she hadn't been looking.
Dropping on the edge of the bed, she had no clue what to do next. Her few belongings were meagre, but they were dear to her. Her father's bible, the Rosary Beads given to her by the Reverend Mother, the Saint Christopher medal that was a parting gift from Sister Berthe. She couldn't leave them behind.
So, it looked like she was staying…
Thankfully, everyone was downstairs in the dining room, so it would be some time before she had to face the children and the inevitable barrage of questions. Gripped by a new wave of panic, she realised, she still hadn't come up with any answers. They'd want to know why she left. She could hardly tell them, she'd fallen in love with their father.
She frowned at the clock on the bedside table – almost seven. Why were they eating so late? The Captain ate dinner at six every night without fail. She should know that better than anyone. Forever late, she'd sit through his reprimands and constant teasing almost nightly. Shrugging off the question, she decided it might work to her advantage. If nothing else, it gave her time to think.
But her optimism was short-lived. Picturing the family seated around the dining table, she wondered what jokes the children were playing. Was the Captain thinking about her? She wanted to hear the stories the children were sharing about their day. Her shoulders slumped. She had no idea how they'd spent their day.
Deciding she couldn't sit around in her undergarments for the rest of the evening, she pushed herself up from the bed. But instead of walking to the armoire, she made her way to one of the windows and pulled back the lace curtain. Sighing, she stared out across the treetops to the snow-covered Alps in the distance.
She was ashamed to admit it, but her heart ached at the thought of the family eating dinner downstairs while she hid in the governess' room.
oOo
Rifling impatiently through the dresses hanging from the rail, she pursed her lips. Tonight, would require something special – she had to be special. The thought made her smile. She'd have to be more glittering, alluring and captivating than ever. Pausing, she ran her eyes up and down the silver silk-chiffon. For almost any occasion, it would be perfect. She slid the hanger to the side, moving past it with a click of her tongue. This called for seductive and sensual, not classic and glamourous.
Her smile fell away and she froze, her fingers and thoughts hovering over the ivory dress she wore the night of the party. She'd stood out that night. Head and shoulders above anyone else. Every woman had wanted to be her, while every man's eyes were on her – following her, studying her, longing to have her. Well, every man, except for one. And it was the one that mattered, she thought bitterly. That night, Georg only had eyes for the damn governess…
Huffing under her breath, she quickly slid the next dress along the rail, covering up the ivory dress – hiding the evidence of her failures at what should have been her grand and glorious party. That night was supposed to be hers, but the little nun had stolen it from her, and now, it was forever tainted. And as if that wasn't enough, to rub salt into the wound, the girl shows up from God knows where. This wasn't supposed to happen.
Her hand stopped moving while she debated over a blue cocktail dress. Heaven knows, Georg likes a woman in blue. But blue was never a colour she cared for, so she pushed the hanger aside. Perhaps, she was worrying for no good reason. After all, the girl might not even bother turning up for dinner. Clearly, something had taken the wind out of her sails – news of their engagement? – so, who knows.
Anyway, the governess should be downstairs right now, eating with the children, or in the kitchen with the rest of the staff. God only knows why Georg ate dinner with the children and their governess. It might have been rather quaint if the children weren't so rowdy. She made a mental note to have a word to Frau Schmidt about the nun's meals.
Why did the nun return?
There didn't seem any point if she wasn't planning to stay. It would only take a few days, a week at the most to find a new governess. Besides, the final say on staff appointments was now hers, and she certainly wouldn't be needing any input from the previous governess. Especially, when she was so utterly hopeless with the children.
Perhaps she'd have a word with the girl before dinner and suggest she return to the Abbey tomorrow. A quiet word wouldn't do any harm. And God knows, it worked a treat the night of the party. She smiled. The girl looked like a deer caught in headlights. After tonight's chat, the girl won't be able to scurry back to the Abbey quick enough. And if the girl did choose to stay, she might wish she hadn't. At least she'd know, she was being watched.
Returning her attention to the rack of custom haute couture dresses, she sighed. Nothing was jumping out at her, and sadly, most of her best outfits were back in Vienna. When packing, she hadn't imagined needing more than a handful of evening dresses during her stay in Salzburg. Apart from her party – which she was trying her best to forget – there'd been so few opportunities to really dress up.
She sighed. Everything had been going so nicely, she didn't need this added distraction. With only a few days left to send out invitations and finalise arrangements, her attention needed to be on the weekend's garden party, which would double as their engagement's Grand Reveal. And yet, here she was, second guessing the girl who used to be the governess – was she looking at Georg with those doe eyes, was she laughing a little too loudly at his jokes, was she trying to steal time alone with him…
She huffed under her breath. Honestly, Georg needed to be saved from himself, sometimes.
The man had no idea the effect he had on women, let alone one so young and chaste. It was almost expected the young lady would create some fantasy about the two of them in her head. Especially, after being locked away with a group of women for Heaven knows how long. Surely, Georg knew the dangers of employing a nun. The man must have lost his mind. With such ill-disciplined children, he'd obviously been at the end of his tether. Perhaps he'd hoped a nun might put the fear of God into them. There was no other explanation. Well, not one that made any sense…
With holidays coming to an end in a few weeks, it might be time to broach the subject of boarding school. She'd done enough homework to create shortlists of the most suitable and elite options. But there was barely time left to make their selections and enrol the children…
Her hand stopped on one of the hangers. Smiling, she lifted it from the rail and held up the red, sequinned dress. Oh my, she'd forgotten packing this one! With its low neckline and hugging bodice, it was bordering on risqué. But she didn't care. Lifting its matching Bolero jacket off the rack, it was just what the evening called for. Seductive, provocative, and above all, irresistible. Turning to the mirror at the end of the dressing room, she smiled back at her reflection.
It was perfect!
True, it was a little too much for a quiet mid-week dinner in the country, but she needed to make a statement. And if this dress was one thing, it was a statement!
Georg wouldn't be able to keep his eyes off her, and the girl would realise there was no competition. Not that she expected her to be brave – or stupid – enough to wear that blue thing again if she was at dinner. Stepping closer to the mirror, she double-checked the makeup she'd applied earlier. The only thing missing was a touch of blood-red lipstick to complete the look. Draping the dress over the arm of the chair, she was already feeling better. She wouldn't let that governess spoil her mood, or her plans.
After all, she was Elsa Schraeder, the soon-to-be Baroness von Trapp. She giggled quietly to herself. It had such a nice ring to it…
Untying the sash around her waist, the edges of the white, pure silk dressing gown fell away. Shrugging her arms from the sleeves, the robe fell to the floor, pooling around slippered feet, revealing fine the satin and hand-made lace of Parisian undergarments. Turning to the mirror, she took in her exquisite figure, one that could have belonged to a woman twenty years younger. She smiled, an idea starting to take seed…
She'd make an entrance at dinner!
It would be so much fun, and such a shame to let a gorgeous little outfit go to waste. Georg didn't care one bit for tardiness, but the nun had been late to meals more times than not. If she couldn't get away with it, then why not her? True, Georg would always reprimand the girl, make her look like a fool, but it was often done good-naturedly and he always dragged out the punishment. It was time, she made an entrance. Why, Elsa Schraeder had invented the grand entrance!
And when Georg saw the little red dress hugging her pert breasts and tiny waist, he'd forget all about the nun. She smiled, knowing he wouldn't be able to take his eyes off her. There wouldn't be any thought of reprimands. He'd be too busy teasing and flirting, watching and wanting.
But first things first. She'd pop on her red dress, apply her lipstick, and pay that nun a little visit…
oOo
"Argh! There you are, Frau Schmidt," Max forced a confident smile, masking his failed attempts to win over the housekeeper.
"Herr Detweiler, we don't often see you in the kitchen…"
"Erhm… Yes, well…" he cleared his throat and forced himself to keep smiling despite the housekeeper already questioning his motives. "Has anyone told you, you're a hard woman to track down…"
"At this hour of the day, I wouldn't be anywhere else," Frau Schmidt cut him off abruptly. "Especially now that we have two sittings for dinner…" she added under her breath.
"Mmm, quite…" Max answered diplomatically, not wanting to be drawn into the obvious and growing tension between Elsa and the staff over the new house rules. "I was wondering if I could ask a small favour…"
"It had better be small, Herr Detweiler," Frau Schmidt looked at him long and hard. "I have very little time for one of your schemes."
"Schemes…?" Max was thrown by the insinuation, if not a little hurt.
"If you want to ask me about this favour, you'll have to walk with me," Frau Schmidt didn't care one bit that she'd taken the wind out of his sails. "I don't have time to stand around chit-chatting."
Max flashed the housekeeper one of his most innocent smiles. "I was hoping, but only if you have time, of course…" after two or three quick paces, he caught up and fell into step beside Frau Schmidt as she walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway. "Well, I was wondering, if you might go upstairs and ask Fraulein Maria to join us for dinner."
"I'm not your secretary, Herr Detweiler," Frau Schmidt's steps stopped as she turned to him and narrowed her eyes, wondering what he was dreaming up this time.
"Oh, I realise you're so much more, Frau Schmidt…" Max responded. "Why, this household would fall apart within a day without your guiding…"
"As it happens, Herr Detweiler, you're in luck," Frau Schmidt cut off what was threatening to become long-winded prattle, for which she didn't have the time or the patience.
"Oh…?" Max frowned, not expecting to win over Frau Schmidt quite so easily.
"The boys were so excited about dinner, they left Fraulein Maria's bags by the dining room door," Frau Schmidt explained, watching Herr Detweiler's frown fall away. "I've been trying to find a spare five minutes to take them upstairs before someone trips over them and breaks their neck."
"Perfect!" Max was smiling again. "While you're there, if you could mention dinner…"
"But what do I say if Fraulein Maria wants a plate sent to her room?" Frau Schmidt put her hands on her hips. "I haven't had a chance to speak to the poor girl, but I'm sure she's tired from the journey. That bus trip from town can feel like it goes on forever, especially in this kind of heat."
"Oh, but you must insist she join us…"
"I don't know if I can do that, Herr Detweiler," Frau Schmidt narrowed her eyes again, feeling herself being dragged into more of Herr Detweiler's nonsense.
"Tell her, I insist she join us after she left me high and dry the other night," Max shrugged his shoulders at the housekeeper's sceptical look.
"High and dry…?" Frau Schmidt raised a brow at Herr Detweiler.
"If that doesn't work then tell her the Captain has asked that she join us…"
"But the Captain hasn't said that, has he?" Frau Schmidt frowned.
"He would if you asked him," Max answered confidently.
"Very well, Herr Detweiler, I'll speak to Fraulein Maria about dinner…" Frau Schmidt sighed, her feet starting to move again. "But I can't make any promises."
"Thank you, Frau Schmidt," Max smiled as they entered the foyer. "I'll be forever in your debt…"
"Now, if you'll excuse me," the housekeeper stopped walking and dismissed him rather brusquely, "this looks like trouble…"
"Trouble…?" Following Frau Schmidt's line of sight, Max looked over his shoulder at one of the young maids walking towards them. Mumbling an excuse to leave, he quickly turned on his heel and walked in the direction of the drawing room. He'd never cared much for trouble, and it seemed, Frau Schmidt didn't either.
If he was quick, there should be time for another brandy before dinner. Something told him, getting through tonight's dinner was going to require alcohol. And lots of it...
oOo
Cursing under his breath, he glanced at his watch. It would be half past seven before long and if didn't stop floundering around, he'd be late. Damn Elsa's new dinner arrangements. Normally, he appreciated timetables and schedules, but this was ridiculous. With a pang of guilt, he quickly reminded himself, it wasn't Elsa's fault that tonight's dinner was so late. If the children hadn't spent the afternoon skylarking around, he wouldn't have had to push everything forward half an hour.
Sighing, he would have preferred to stay in the study, but he could hardly hide there all night. He'd have liked nothing more than to send for Maria and have her join him. It would give him a chance to get to the bottom of all this nonsense. Trying to ignore his guilty conscience, he told himself that was his only motive. It had nothing to do with revelling in her return – seeing her, talking to her, simply being around her...
Instead, here he was, getting ready for dinner. He didn't even feel like eating. The thought of food was making him ill, and the prospect of sitting through tedious small talk was more tiresome than ever. He didn't even feel like a drink. All he could think about was her – Maria, Fraulein, the woman who'd awakened his senses and brought him back to his children. The prospect of seeing her again, was the only reason he wasn't downstairs searching for Franz, feigning an illness, and excusing himself for the rest of the evening.
Dinner with Maria…
The thought of sitting down to dinner with her, filled him as much with fear and trepidation, as it did excitement and anticipation. He hoped she wouldn't have a plate sent to her room, surely, she'd be joining the three of them in the dining room.
He still couldn't believe she'd returned. If his mind wasn't so pre-occupied with Maria, he might have noticed his heart skip a beat and now, it was starting to race. She was here – on the other side of the villa. He smiled at the thought. What was she doing now, right this minute? He wondered if she'd been thinking about him anywhere near as much as he'd been thinking of her…
God, get a grip, you fool…
Berating himself, he knew he had to keep moving. He couldn't stand here in his underwear and socks all night. Snatching a white shirt off a nearby hanger, he plunged his arms into the starched sleeves. With the shirt still open, he turned to the suits on the opposite wall.
As he started doing up one of the shirt's middle buttons, his eyes fell on a dark, almost black, suit. He'd worn it on her first night with them. With only one of his shirt buttons done up, he walked over to the jacket and took hold of a sleeve. Running his fingers over the fine wool, his mind drifted back to that night. It was then, when all this madness started.
He smiled, recalling their first dinner together. Perhaps he should wear it tonight. Would she notice – would she even remember? Deciding he needed something lighter to suit the mood, he let go of the sleeve, watching it fall back into line. His eyes settled on a dark blue suit instead.
With his shirt finally buttoned up, he took the trousers from the hanger. Stepping into the left leg, he then stepped into the right. Pulling up the trousers and tucking in the shirt tails, his mind drifted off to a room on the other side of the villa. Would she be wearing the dress she returned in, or was she changing for dinner? He hoped she'd be wearing her blue dress.
Buttoning the fly of his trousers, his fingers suddenly stilled. Struck by a mad thought, he turned to face the mirror. Searching his reflection, he wondered if he really was losing his mind.
Should he speak to her before dinner?
It might be easier to speak alone, just the two of them, rather than sitting through dinner under the scrutiny of Elsa and Max.
True, it would be utter madness to knock on Maria's door, and being alone with her, in the confines of her bedroom, would be highly inappropriate. But was it any different to being alone with her in the study? And besides, she was the children's governess and it was important he understand why she left and why she felt she could no longer stay. It would make sense to have that conversation sooner, rather than later. And it would certainly take away any awkwardness from dinner. That had to be a good thing…
With renewed purpose, he reached for a matching navy-blue tie. Slinging it around his neck, he began to tie the knot. That's what he'll do! If he was quick, there'd be time before dinner to sort out this misunderstanding, or whatever it was. God, he still had no idea what triggered any of this,
Feeling better already, he straightened his tie and turned down the collar of the shirt. Humming to himself, he reached for the jacket, stopping to flick a piece of lint from its shoulder. Sliding an arm into the left sleeve, and then the right, he turned to the mirror. He tugged at the cuffs of his shirt until a quarter of an inch hung below the sleeves of his jacket. Straightening his jacket, he stepped closer to the mirror to study his jawline. The nick from the blade was barely noticeable. Any other time, he'd be cursing his carelessness, but tonight he just smiled at his reflection. Fraulein, you're such a distraction.
Once again, a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. With renewed confidence, he was certain she'd stay. He'd seen how happy she was, surrounded by the children. How happy they all were. If he couldn't, the children could convince her. Closing his eyes, he was back in the shadows of the terrace, the joyful scene between Maria and the children playing out in front of him. They'd hugged and laughed, all talking at once. The children had come alive, after moping without her, and he was certain she had, too…
That was until…
His eyes shot open, his heart stopping for a moment, perhaps two. He groaned. She was happy until the children said something to her – he was convinced they'd told her. And, it was like her light had gone out…
Oh God, what had he done…? He was a fool.
He was engaged to Elsa. Dropping into the armchair beside the mirror, he slumped forward. Why was he marrying Elsa? It made no sense. He didn't love her. Not like he should. Their engagement was supposed to be for the children. But was that a good enough reason? Elsa wasn't maternal - it wasn't her fault, it was simply who she was. These past days, when she wasn't avoiding the children, their forced interactions had him wondering, if they'd ever bond. He groaned. It had been a bad idea yesterday, and today, it was even worse. All he could think about, was Maria...
Could it be true? Surely not. Was it possible…
Had he fallen in love with Maria…
He felt something. But love…? Leaning forward, he rested his forearms on his thighs. One thing was clear, he'd made a mess of everything. Here he was, betraying both women. But could he be certain about Maria's feelings?
Did she feel something for him? Anything…?
He dismissed the idea, deciding it was one of his more ridiculous theories.
But why had she been so upset on the terrace…? So many questions, and he didn't have a single answer. His mind went back to the night of the party. The courtyard, she'd looked beautiful, dancing the Laendler. They'd shared something that night. The way they danced in perfect harmony, her body pressed against his, her hands holding him tighter.
And then, he'd forgotten himself. He'd almost kissed her. He would have if she hadn't…
Oh God… she'd stepped away from him…
She didn't feel the same. Why would she? She was young and beautiful, with her whole life ahead of her. He was a cantankerous old fool with seven children. What had he done? His elbows resting on his thighs, he pressed his palms against his forehead. His head hurt, he couldn't think.
But one thing was clear. If she couldn't be anything else to them, they needed her to stay as their governess.
He needed to speak to Elsa, but he wanted to speak to Maria first. Now, it was even more urgent than ever that they speak. Pushing himself up from the armchair, he glared down at the socks on his feet. For God's sake, he wasn't wearing any shoes… Searching around for the boots he'd heeled off earlier, he cursed his stupidity.
His mouth was dry, his pulse was racing, the anticipation of seeing her again, almost too much to bear…
oOo
Feeling defeated, minutes had dragged by, and she was back sitting on the edge of the bed. As much as she'd been prepared to give up all her worldly goods, she'd decided she couldn't leave without her guitar or the few precious items she could call her own. If nothing else, it was another reminder, she would never have been a very good nun.
Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, the Captain, Baroness Schraeder and Herr Detweiler would have joined the children for dinner some time ago. Doing the maths in her head, she pictured them partway through dessert. She'd wait a little longer, then sneak down to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. These past days, she'd eaten very little, and tonight she didn't feel hungry, despite missing lunch. If she tried to eat, she was sure she'd be ill.
She looked across at the armoire – its doors hanging wide open. The dresses she'd made from the Captain's material, stared back at her.
The Captain…
Her aching head matched the ache in her heart.
Sitting here in her undergarments, she was still debating what to do next. Would she leave in the night like last time, or would she wait until tomorrow. How had she got everything so horribly wrong…
Knock! Knock!
Her head shot up at the sound of two sharp raps on the door. Frozen with fear, she stared at back of the door.
Who on Earth wanted to speak to her…?
oOo
Apologies everyone for the delay in posting an update. Christmas became COVID, and it took some time to get back into the swing of writing.
Thank you for all your reviews and messages.
I don't own TSOM, just having a lend – but now, I need to catch up on some reading!
"Immerse your soul in love"
