I decided to kill Jar Jar Binks with a wood chipper this time.

It's going to be gruesome. As you can probably imagine. That's why I figured it would be fun to read.

And yes, this was one of the suggestions.

Chapter 4: Wood Chipper

Anakin thought about how to kill Jar Jar next.

He considered using an axe, but he figured that might be a bit too easy, though it might be fun to reference the Shining. It would be ideal if he could come up with something creative.

He could try strapping Jar Jar Binks to a rocket and launching him into space, but R2-D2 was currently using their rocket to fly to the moon.

He figured that he should try doing something creative. Something that would really make that annoying Gungan scream.

Anakin decided a wood chipper would be an excellent way to do it. It would be nothing short of a horrible death, especially if Jar Jar went in feet first.

Fortunately, there was a chipper in the nearby forest. It was useful for lumberjacking work.

He decided to tell his master of the plan. It would be better to act with his friend's approval...though they always approved of killing Jar Jar.

"Psst! Master Obi-Wan!" whispered Anakin.

"Yes?" asked Obi-Wan.

"I've got another idea to kill Jar Jar!" exclaimed the teenage boy.

"What is this time?" asked the jedi master. Anakin had come up with a lot of ways to kill Jar Jar over the years.

"We're going to kill him with a wood chipper!" shouted the father of Luke Skywalker.

"That's a good idea." nodded Obi-Wan. Giving Jar Jar Binks a horrible death was always the funniest.

How did they have fun before they started killing him, anyway? Did they practice lightsaber duels?

He gathered their friends so that they could all see the death.

Well, except for R2-D2.

He was on the moon at the moment. Which was a shame, because he was going to miss out on the fun.

Oh wait, maybe they could videotape the carnage. Perhaps Jar Jar Binks haters would be willing to buy it...though they might be confused if they found he was still alive later. Maybe they would think it was special effects?

They told Jar Jar Binks that they were going on a camping trip in a nearby forest.

Hopefully they could elude law enforcement this way. Though none of the police really liked Jar Jar. He ate their donuts once.

And it wasn't like Jar Jar was going to disappear anyway.

"Ooh! A camping trip sounds fun!" exclaimed the Gungan.

Fortunately, he agreed to go there.

He was looking forward to roasting marshmallows.

However, he became suspicious when he noticed the wood chipper.

And for some strange reason, none of them had brought tents. Were they sleeping outside? The Gungan was worried that wolves were after him.

"Wait, what is this wood chipper for?" asked Jar Jar Binks. To his knowledge, they were camping, not lumberjacking.

And none of them had brought axes.

"Just one reason." answered the jedi.

Anakin shoved Jar Jar into the wood chipper.

He then turned it on.

The now doomed Gungan screamed as the chipper tore him apart.

"Mesa not a tree!" exclaimed the Gungan.

Blood splattered over the nearby trees.

It wasn't unlike the time they had killed him with a giant blender. That had been hilarious...except for Jar Jar Binks, of course.

"Mesa sure have lots of blood." remarked the Gungan. How did his body contain it all?

Inevitably, Jar Jar was dead. Perhaps they should consider selling his organs to a hospital. That way they could kill him for fun and profit.

Whatever organs hadn't been shredded, anyway.

It would help them buy new things to kill the Gungan with. That was for certain.

"Well, that sure was messy." noted Anakin. It was a bloodbath.

"Some of the blood got on my clothes." complained Padme. She was going to have to use the washing machine later.

Although, maybe she could try stuffing Jar Jar Binks into a dryer. She couldn't drown him with a washer but a dryer might be efficient.

Still, it was pretty fun to watch. And his dying screams were hilarious.

Afterwards, they resurrected the Gungan.

"Why da forest so bloody?" asked Jar Jar Binks. There seemed to be blood dripping from the branches.

Luckily, he didn't recognize it as his own blood.

"We just remembered that it was hunting season." explained Obi-Wan. That was a half-truth...as they were hunting Jar Jar.

"Good thing you don't look like a deer..." noted Qui-Gon Jinn.

Although, chances are they might make him look like one in the future.

Afterwards, they went back home.

"Is da campen trip cancelled?" asked Jar Jar. That trip to the forest seemed kind of short.

"We just remembered that it was going to rain." explained Padme.

"Aww..." pouted the Gungan. It seemed that his friends had forgotten to check the weather before beginning the trip.

Although, it appeared to be sunny outside.

He had been looking forward to the camping trip.

Once again, Jar Jar Binks has died! Yay!

I'll check the reviews for other ideas...or maybe I'll come up with one myself.

Maybe I'll have him be eaten by a Demogorgon. That would be fun to watch.

And considering how much Jar Jar bleeds, it wouldn't be hard to lure one to him. Or maybe I'll saw him in half. I don't think I've tried that one.

Goodbye for now.