Subaru felt stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Two women sat on either side of him. On his right, Pandora held their children with an unreadable expression. On his left, Beatrice glared over his lap, her gaze drilling into Pandora with unyielding contempt.
The tension was almost tangible, so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Subaru wanted to hide out of pure, unbridled shame.
He didn't know what to say. All he could do was sit in a state of limbo.
In hindsight, he should've expected this to happen. It was foolish of him to think that he could sweep everything under the rug. Because of his ignorance, the past was coming back to bite him in the ass.
Beatrice was wearing her heart on her sleeve. In spite of her glare, her eyes were filled to the brim with worry and concern. Her tough act was born from an innate protectiveness that Subaru empathized with.
Pandora was motionless, seemingly unbothered by the happenings around her. She focused solely on the children that were sleeping in her arms.
The babies were no longer being carried in a box, mainly due to Beatruce's fury. She demanded that Pandora hold them herself before setting foot inside the mansion. Pandora wordlessly agreed to the demand.
Subaru remembered how Pandora picked them up — how her motions carried a near indescribable tenderness. Even now, as Pandora held the children snugly within their blankets, Subaru couldn't stop himself from staring.
His heart ached with guilt. He wanted to help her — to hold one of his kids — but fear and anxiety held him back. With every second that passed, those feelings intensified, and his sadness grew.
He was pathetic for keeping that night a secret, he was pathetic for not being there for Pandora when she needed him, and he was pathetic for not having the courage to help her now.
These were supposedly his children, but what kind of father was he? He was just a deadbeat who was too ashamed to think about the night they were conceived.
"I will ask you again," Beatrice stated quietly, crossing her arms. "Why are you here? What sort of trick are you trying to pull on Subaru?"
Subaru was thrust back to reality by the sound of her voice. He blinked, realigning his focus on Pandora, who continued to stay silent by his side. She kept to herself, only glancing between her babies as they continued to sleep soundly in her arms.
Grumbling, Beatrice fought the urge to lose her temper. She was vexed, but her thoughts were rational enough to prevent her from lashing out. She didn't want to risk disturbing the children.
The lack of trust was palpable. Beatrice had no intention of letting Pandora out of her sight.
"Are you going to speak or not?" Beatrice impatiently pressed.
Beatrice was met with more silence. She looked to Subaru for support, but he only fidgeted anxiously in his seat and avoided her gaze.
Her expression softened in consideration of his inner turmoil. She understood his plight, but she hoped — begged — that he could give her the answers that she needed, only to receive nothing at all.
With nothing more to say, Beatrice continued to study Pandora's expression. Her gaze traced every feature, searching for even the faintest crack in the woman's façade. Yet, no matter how intently she looked, all Beatrice could see was the unshakable, instinctive love of a mother.
There was something so innocent about Pandora's demeanor — so pure and genuine. The harmlessness of it all threw Beatrice for a loop.
Pandora gave the impression of an angel — of someone who would never hurt a fly. Beatrice knew better than to believe that, but it made her second-guess herself.
Beatrice looked down, her face exuding doubt as she muttered, "Are you truly the same person, I wonder?"
Pandora merely cast her gaze away, unwilling to respond. This time, Beatrice showed no animosity, instead sinking further into her own thoughts.
The atmosphere was tense, but strangely, it was less awkward than it was before. Subaru continued to sit and observe without saying a word. His eyes lingered on Pandora the longest, realizing that she looked uncomfortable and even hesitant to be in the room.
Subaru considered the situation more carefully. When she first showed up, Pandora was more than willing to talk with him. She even seemed eager to do so.
Why was she being so tight-lipped now? What changed?
It didn't take long to figure it out.
He turned his head to look at Beatrice, making her pause and meet his gaze. Before she could say anything, he placed a hand atop her head, ruffling her hair and prompting her to let out an audible "eep" of surprise.
His lips curved into a solemn smile as he said, "Maybe you should leave us alone for a little while, Beako."
Surprised and frustrated by his suggestion, Beatrice was about to argue, but she stopped herself upon seeing the assuredness in his sharp eyes.
Removing his hand from her head, he gently asked, "You trust me, right?"
"Of course," Beatrice replied without hesitation. "Betty is your spirit. You are Betty's contractor. Betty will always trust you, no matter what."
Subaru nodded, his smile more reassuring. "Then trust me when I say that I'll be fine. If it makes you feel better, you can come in and check on us if you're worried, okay?"
Beatrice looked between them, letting out a small whine as she debated what to do. Eventually, she sighed and hoisted herself up from her seat. She trudged forward, stopping right in front of the door, and hesitated to grab the handle. She turned her head back, her expression heavy and stern.
Subaru gave her an appreciative nod. Beatrice slowly nodded back before reluctantly turning away. She walked out of the room, and the door closed behind her with a gentle click.
Within moments, Pandora turned and gazed at him with delicate eyes, speaking in a whisper, "Thank you."
Looking down, Subaru quietly replied, "You're welcome."
An uneasy silence followed, with neither knowing the right thing to say.
Pandora's hesitancy gradually vanished. With a soft-spoken voice, she asked, "Do you still remember that night?"
Thrown off by her question, Subaru's cheeks turned red. He could only open and close his lips with staggered breaths, searching for his words amidst his awkwardness. None came out.
It took a while for him to calm his nerves. Pandora waited patiently, her eyes never leaving his face as he steadily regained his composure.
Swallowing a lump in his throat, he replied, "I do. And you?"
"Vividly."
Pandora looked away, tactfully ignoring Subaru's rising embarrassment. She angled her head down, and Subaru followed her gaze, only to pause at the sight of his children. He hesitated to reach out to them, asking under his breath, "Are they really mine?"
"I have only ever had sex with you," she replied, her voice low and earnest.
His chest twisted into a knot as her response echoed in his head. She was blunt and didn't mince her words, but the way she answered so quickly — so readily — made his doubts all but vanish. A tinge of happiness weaseled its way into his heart. He wanted nothing more than to believe her and accept the reality that was in front of him, no matter how wrong or unethical it appeared to be.
Rather than dwell on the bad things, perhaps it was better to focus on something good. Not everything revolved around a cycle of self-destruction.
Pandora eyed him carefully before quietly asking, "Do you regret it?"
"The only thing I regret is not stopping you from leaving."
His memory of their time together was as vivid as hers. Subaru couldn't forget, no matter how much he tried.
Their time together meant something to him. It hurt to walk away when every part of him said to stay.
Pandora had been the one to physically walk away, but Subaru didn't give chase. It was his choice to let her leave. He wanted to respect her wishes, but that supposed kindness had caused her pain.
Her lips curved into a small smile. "It really is good to see you again, Subaru."
"Yeah." Subaru glanced at her. "It's good to see you, too."
He chided himself for his bashfulness, but Pandora only giggled. She shifted in her seat, leaning back slightly. "You have not changed much. That makes me glad."
Subaru faced her fully, his expression laced with sympathy. "You're different."
Pandora let out a hollow chuckle, her features softening with resignation. "I am."
With heavy eyes, Subaru's gaze rested on the babies in her arms. Concern dripped from his voice as he asked, "What happened? Please, tell me everything."
There were no words to describe the look that befell Pandora's face. It hurt to see, but Subaru didn't back down.
Though his heart was heavy with apprehension and fear, his steadfast resolve to support her shone through. Pandora saw the depth of his conviction, and despite her own unease, she managed to steady herself.
"There is only so much to tell," Pandora muttered. She moved her gaze down, letting her thumb caress one of the baby's cheeks. "Discovering my pregnancy was quite a shock. For the first time in my life, I was scared. I panicked."
Pandora became riddled with guilt and regret. She almost lost the will to speak.
"I contemplated terminating the pregnancy," she admitted, sparing Subaru a glance. "My state of living was hardly fitting for a child. I knew that I would be incapable of raising one. But whenever I thought of getting rid of it, my heart yearned for it to stay."
As the final word escaped her lips, Pandora squeezed her eyes shut, her nose crinkling as she sniffled and drew in a deep breath. Her composure wavered, a single tear welling beneath her lashes as she opened them once more.
With a trembling voice, she said, "I believed myself accustomed to pain. I have lived through some of the most visceral scenarios imaginable, and yet, none of that could compare to the day I birthed these two."
Subaru didn't dare to look away, no matter how guilty he felt. Without thinking, he reached out and gently held her arm. Pandora froze, but she didn't reject his touch.
Her expression was heavy with lingering sorrow. "That agony still sticks with me." A dark chuckle escaped her lips. "Could you envision my horror when, in the middle of it all, I realized that I was actually pregnant with twins?"
She took a breath, allowing herself a moment of reprieve before her lips parted once more.
"It was all so humiliating," she whispered, her cheeks now stained with fleeting tears. "I felt demeaned. I was useless, bloody, immobile, and covered in— in—"
Pandora couldn't bring herself to finish that statement. She was flustered and ashamed, her composure quickly fading away.
With a deep, stuttering breath, she looked down at her children. "I managed to save them. Even in my reduced, pitiful state, I did what I needed to do."
Dread gripped Subaru's heart as his thoughts raced to grasp the magnitude of Pandora's suffering. Her words painted a traumatic picture, and Subaru refused to forget it.
He deeply understood the helplessness of being alone. Pandora had been forced to endure this unimaginable pain without a shred of support, and that realization filled Subaru with a guilt he could never forgive himself for.
"The recovery process was no easier," she murmured softly. "While struggling through my rehabilitation, I struggled to care for these newborns on my own. Regret weighed heavily on me, and at times, I considered giving up. But every time I gazed at their tiny faces, I discovered something truly precious in the life that I helped create."
Pandora's gaze pierced into him, her sharp eyes cutting straight to his soul. In the span of a heartbeat, Subaru saw a myriad of emotions flicker across her face.
"I do not expect you to comprehend my tribulations, nor should you blame yourself for them," she stated. "You had already offered your hand to me once, and I refused. That is my fault alone."
Subaru shook his head firmly, his stance unmistakable. "That doesn't change the fact that you were completely alone," he said, his voice heavy with conviction. "You went through so much without anybody to lean on. I'm still responsible for that, especially since I could've tried harder to stop you from leaving that day."
A small smile graced her face, her expression easing slightly as her gaze drifted down. "Perhaps," she mused, humming thoughtfully. "I still remember your words from that morning quite vividly. It is partly why I chose to seek you out."
Heavy silence permeated the room as they both rekindled the memories of their time together. While their emotions were mixed, neither of them could deny the bittersweet feeling that swelled in their hearts.
"That is why I ran," Pandora said, her voice raw. "My inner turmoil had festered for far too long. I became conflicted, and eventually, I realized that I was no longer the person that I used to be. For the sake of these precious children, I abandoned everything that I once stood for. Had I not, they would have surely been killed."
Pandora turned to face him fully, her gaze locking with his. Subaru barely had time to process her words before her expression scrunched and shifted, unguarded confusion washing over her as her eyes watered with unrestrained tears.
"Why do I care?" she asked, trembling with desperation. "Why can I not stop thinking about that night? Why did I run straight into your arms?"
Pandora averted her gaze, hesitation evident in her every movement. She drew a deep breath, taking time to steady herself as her composure slowly returned.
When she met his eyes again, her expression was one of quiet pleading. "Even if you choose not to accept me," she murmured, "please allow me to find an answer to these feelings that I do not understand."
Subaru could only drop his head, unable to look at her. She had begged him for closure, yet he could provide no answer.
He couldn't explain the pounding of his heart. Whenever he thought about her, something inside of him swelled and threatened to burst. Like her, he was lost as to what those feelings meant.
"I don't know, either," he quietly admitted. "But I do know that I want you to stay. I wasn't there for you at the beginning, but I want to be here for you now. Please, let me help you."
Pandora looked at the children in her arms, and Subaru followed her gaze. The babies were still asleep, hardly stirring in the wake of their parent's emotional conversation. Subaru and Pandora were equally entranced by their slumbering faces.
After a long moment, Pandora took a breath and stated, "You told no one of our time together. I presume that doing so would have caused unrest amongst your friends. If I were to accept your offer, our presence would only burden you."
"That's not true!" Subaru strongly declared. "You wouldn't be a burden. In fact, I'm sure everyone would be happy to accept you."
With notable skepticism, she asked, "You truly believe that?"
Subaru didn't hesitate to give her a resolute nod. "Yes. I told you, I claim equal responsibility for this."
Pandora studied him intently for several moments, searching his face for any hint of change. After a few seconds, a small smile tugged at her lips. "You are still far too humble."
They shared a small laugh before the room fell into silence. Time seemed to slow as neither of them found their words. The only constant was their gazes as they remained fixed on their children.
"What're their names?" Subaru asked, his voice dripping with gentle curiosity.
"They are unnamed," she answered, much to his surprise. "They are only a few months old. With so much going on, it did not feel right to name them. I believed that the father should have a say."
Subaru gaped, irrefutably touched by the sentiment. Pandora glanced at him, keeping her smile as her eyes twinkled with a tinge of amusement.
"Would you like to hold one of them?"
His heart skipped a beat as he nodded profusely. Pandora giggled, slightly extending one of her arms so that Subaru could take the baby girl.
With a smidgen of doubt, Subaru reached forward, gently lifting the girl before carefully adjusting her in his arms. His heart pounded with restless anxiety, but as he gazed into the innocent face of his child, his chest fluttered with a tender warmth.
"They're beautiful," he whispered, his voice overflowing with affection.
"Indeed, they are," she softly agreed. "They are remarkably peaceful children."
Subaru cradled his daughter, being careful not to disturb her. His eyes traced her features closely, memorizing every detail.
"Her hair is black?" he asked, his gaze lingering on the small patch of hair on her head.
"Yes, it is," Pandora confirmed. "The boy has white hair. See?"
She shifted her arms slightly, revealing a glimpse of the boy's white hair to him. Subaru's eyes brightened as they looked up to meet hers, his heart still racing with a surge of emotions that refused to settle.
His lips parted with an unsteady breath. "What do you think of space?"
Pandora considered his question with a bit of surprise. After a few seconds, she answered, "I find it fascinating."
"That's good." Subaru's gaze, imbued with adoration, fell to the baby in his arms. "I was thinking of naming the girl Luna, and the boy Sol. What do you think?"
Pandora hummed. "The sun and the moon," she murmured fondly. "Those names are perfect."
Subaru felt a rise of excitement inside of him. "Luna and Sol," he repeated, his tone light with a hint of disbelief. "It's nice to meet you."
As if she'd heard his words, Luna roused from her slumber. Her eyes fluttered open, blinking away the sleepiness before staring ahead with innocent wonder. She locked her curious gaze onto Subaru's face, her small arms reaching out in an attempt to grab him.
Slowly, Subaru brought his hand closer, letting her tiny fingers curl around his own. As Luna squeezed, a goofy grin spread across his face, his heart swelling with uncontained joy.
Before the moment could settle, the door to the room burst open. Pandora remained composed as Subaru jumped; the babies in their arms stirred uncomfortably, perturbed by the loud noise. Both parents shot their gazes toward the doorway with reasonable irritation.
"Hey, Cap'n!" Garfiel yelled out, shooting Subaru a proud grin and a thumbs up. "I 'eard yer a father now! Congrats! Can't wait t'—!"
Garfiel was interrupted as a leg flung itself between his legs, nailing him directly in the groin. He groaned and winced, keeling over as he fell to his knees. Ram stood behind him, glaring down at his cowering form with harsh judgment.
"You were told that there were children in here, and your first thought was to bust down the door and start yelling?" Ram scrutinized him with narrowed eyes. "What is wrong with you, Garf?"
Clutching his crotch, Garfiel adjusted himself to face her. "I-I'm sorry! I jus' wanted t' congratulate th' Cap'n—!"
Ram hit him roughly on the head, shutting him up. "Lower your voice, you fool. Can't you see that you've already disturbed the children? Ram will be informing Frederica about this."
Just as Garfiel began to panic, Ram swiftly grabbed him by the ear, brought him to his feet, and dragged him back toward the door. Before leaving, she paused just long enough to offer a quick, apologetic bow before marching out with Garfiel still firmly in her grasp.
With their annoyance quelled, Subaru and Pandora could only stare at the doorway. Pandora laughed, breaking the silence between them. "They are certainly lively people."
"Yeah, they are," he replied with a smile, casting her a meaningful look. "You'd like it here."
Pandora mulled over his words in silence. Noticing Sol's persisting distress, she gently rocked him in her arms. Subaru caught on quickly and followed her lead. Before long, the children began to relax, their fussing gradually giving way to calm.
"I still remember your words from back then, too," Subaru told her. "You said I gave you a genuine connection. But you also said you couldn't see it through."
She refused to meet his gaze, the statement clear in her memory. Subaru was undeterred, his eyes locked on her as he took a bated breath.
"Do you want to stay this time?"
Pandora stared at him while she struggled to process his offer. She lowered her head, taking a moment to think, before a small smile broke across her face. Quietly, she said, "If you would accept me."
Not long after those words left her mouth, footsteps sounded from the doorway. Beatrice strode into the room, her expression neutral as she approached Subaru and met his gaze.
Beatrice let out a long sigh, noticing the resolve on Subaru's face. "Betty was coming in to check on you, but it seems you've already made up your mind."
Subaru gave an affirming nod. "Pandora is staying with us."
Beatrice gave Pandora a glance, her features shifting with trepidation before settling with resigned acceptance. She pivoted on her heel, facing Pandora fully whilst planting her hands firmly on her hips. Beatrice examined Pandora from head to toe, humming thoughtfully.
"You'll need new clothes, and definitely some shoes," Beatrice remarked, huffing at Pandora's attire. "You'll set a bad example for these children if you dress in rags, I suppose."
Pandora looked at Beatrice with uncertain eyes. "You accept me, too?"
Beatrice paused, peeking at Subaru from the corner of her eye. "If it were up to Betty, you wouldn't be here," she confessed. "But Betty trusts Subaru. If he chooses to accept you, then Betty will, too, I suppose."
Although those words weren't the most welcoming, Pandora kept her smile intact. "Thank you."
Beatrice only gave a single nod in response. She faced Subaru, looking contemplative as her gaze bore into him. Her eyes eventually drifted to the baby girl in his arms.
"You both must be exhausted, not to mention stressed, I suppose," she commented, looking between them. "Go and rest elsewhere. Betty will take the children; they need to be cleaned and properly dressed, in fact."
Subaru blinked. "You sure you can do all that?"
"Just who do you think Betty is, I wonder?" she boasted, puffing out her chest. "Betty is more than capable of doing these types of things, in fact."
Reassured by Beatrice's confidence, Subaru glanced at Pandora, who had assumed a more protective hold on their son. Offering her a comforting nod, he silently conveyed his trust.
Pandora hesitated for only a moment before allowing herself to relax. Slowly and carefully, she passed Sol into Beatrice's waiting arms before Subaru did the same with Luna.
Beatrice cooed as she tenderly held both children. With her focus entirely on them, she turned and walked out of the room.
"Betty didn't expect Subaru to have heirs so soon," she whispered sweetly. "You're the cutest little things, aren't you? Betty will take good care of you, in fact."
As she stepped out of sight, Pandora showed her concern. "Is this really okay?"
"Yeah. I'm sure it will." Subaru chuckled, scratching his cheek. "If anything, Beako will probably dote on them too much."
He knew full well what Beatrice was like. She was like a needy grandmother, shamelessly pestering him about heirs at the most random times. Now that Beatrice finally had them, Subaru had no doubt that they'd be spoiled to oblivion.
While that wasn't inherently a bad thing, Subaru was worried that Beatrice would coddle them too much as they got older. He considered talking to her about that later.
Subaru eventually pushed himself to his feet, his expression brightening with an encouraging grin as he extended a hand in Pandora's direction. "Want me to show you around?"
Pandora stared at his offered hand. Her body shifted as she shyly met his gaze, and with a soft, resounding hum, she smiled and took his hand.
"I would like that."
