Chapter One

The Last Dose

"CONGRATULATIONS!"

Ruby red petals flooded the air as the happy couple walked in. Toshinori held up an arm to keep them from littering his bride's freshly done hair, though Inko didn't seem too worried. Even with all the congratulatory calls and yells of happiness their eyes could only focus on each other, their fingers so tightly interlocked even the parade of super heroes in front of them would stand little chance of pulling them apart. With weightless giggles they hurried through the waiting procession, giving each beloved guest a chance to shower them with their love and garden made graffiti. The path lights through the botanical pathway gave them an almost ethereal glow, radiating the unbridled happiness in their flushed faces.

One by one the students Toshinori had supported and trained, the children Inko had protected and cared for beneath her wings, hurried forward in pairs to offer their well wishes. In his place at the end of the line Katsuki glanced across the aisle, smirking as Izuku's large green eyes watered in anticipation and love. When his mother had grown close enough he abandoned his place in the procession, running forward to crush his mother in a tight embrace. Immediately the two burst into sobs, their heavy hearted laughter the only clue that their shared emotions were joyous.

Katsuki tossed a pair of old keys to his teacher, the key ring adorned with a small embroidered ribbon saying 'just married'. Toshinori smiled thankfully, looking to be in no rush as his new bride smothered her son in kisses and words of admiration.

"Izuku my boy!" he laughed, instinctively opening his arms in anticipation as Izuku finally peeled himself from his mothers embrace. Seeing his mentor, his hero, waiting for him with waiting arms seemed to only further break the composure he'd been holding onto all night, a red cheeked sob escaping his throat as he hurried to hold the man in turn. Toshinori let out a boisterous laugh, smoothing down Izuku's wild curls as he cried into his shoulder.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to come to Hawaii with us? You're eighteen now! You've graduated! We need to celebrate!" Toshinori called. Inko nodded, carefully fixing her face to avoid ruining the make-up Mitsuki had worked so hard on.

"I know we insisted on having a send off at the wedding with all the U.A graduates but I want you to have something all for yourself! You've been so wonderful about the wedding preparation but I haven't even asked what you'd like to do!" Inko rambled, joining herself in on Toshinori's hug, somehow managing to hold her son tighter than he was her, an even more impressive feat considering Izuku's recent gain in strength.

At her concern though Izuku laughed, managing to pull himself back just far enough to plant a loving kiss on both of her cheeks.

"Mom I love you- but that is probably the worst idea I've ever heard, which is really saying something considering my friend group." Izuku chided. Inko let out a soft laugh that seemed already halfway gone into a sob as she buried her face in her son's shoulder, holding him close even as he pulled back to begin guiding them to their waiting car. The getaway vehicle was a shining old pick up, decorated in ribbons and cans, likely a restoration project Toshinori had taken up in his newfound retirement.

Toshinori opened up the passenger door for his new wife before moving to the drivers side. Without a twinge of effort Izuku lifted her off the ground completely, the train of her dress curling behind her. Inko let out a surprised giggle as he placed her with great care onto the heightened truck cabin. When he was sure she was properly seated he knelt to one knee, delicately gathering the fabric to tuck in the footrest beside her. Hopping on the high step he gave her one last peck, her hand still careful to not entirely let him go.

"The wedding was amazing, you two are amazing. Class 1-A couldn't have asked for a better way to say goodbye. We'll have plenty of time to celebrate 'me' when you get back. Now go! Stay safe and don't worry about everyone back home- go- enjoy your honeymoon!" Izuku chuckled. Inko nodded, sloppy tears still escaping her eyes. For the first time in a long time though there was no worry or agony, only an overwhelming happiness that spilled from her full heart. .

"I love you!" she cried out, still grinning and looking as much as a fool as her own son.

"I love you too! Take care of each other! We'll talk when you get back!" Izuku assured, quickly giving the truck some room. Inko closed the door once she was sure her son had finished his goodbyes and for what felt like the millionth time that night letting her gaze fall to her new husband. Toshinori offered a reassuring smile, hand finding her own while the other twisted the key in the ignition.

"Well I'm afraid I don't have much of a beach body anymore Inko, but I hope you'll enjoy our time there together all the same," Toshinori laughed, flashing her an almost shy smile, a rarity for someone who was normally filled with such confidence.

"That's ok," Inko assured, squeezing his hand as the engine turned "…truthfully skinny guys have always been more my type!"

Katsuki snorted from his place behind Izuku who had very specifically turned to find something else to focus on other than his teacher and mother's banter. By the embarrassed red on his cheeks though it didn't seem to be working. With another round of waves Toshinori began the slow roll out of the garden's path and to the main street. The wedding party crowded themselves on the property's edge, some rolling into the gravel pathway as they waved and cheered the newlyweds off to their next adventure. When they were long out of sight the party finally began to disperse, those with children saying their quiet goodbyes while others took one last celebratory drink at the bar.

Though they were all almost officially adults, Class 1-A was all too quick to begin cleaning up, their former class leaders taking one last familiar role to dictate their classmates to the chores laid out in front of them. After all, official or not, Inko and Toshinori had long ago been decided as family. Taking the time to make sure the reception was spotless was the least that they could do to try and repay them.

"Aaaah, Midoriya's mom looked so beautiful today! I can't believe she and All Might are finally married!" Mina cooed, already far into a daydream as Katsuki finished packing away the last of the chairs.

"I can't believe Midoriya got his great ass from his mother. You'd think a woman her age would look a bit more loose but Mrs. Yagi is keeping it tight!" Denki slurred, practically dancing with his broom across the polished floor. The man was completely shitfaced, and while Katsuki wished he could say he was surprised combining freshly legal graduates with an open bar was bound to produce a few drunken idiots. Denki being one of them was just par for the course.

"Ew, Denki stop being so gross! You're totally ruining the mood!" Mina scolded, the disgust clear in her face as he tripped over his own feet.

"What? A man can't appreciate a bro or bro's mom anymore? How's that fair?! Katsuki's been checking out Izuku all night and no one's calling him gross," he stammered, his expectant eyes motioning themselves to Katsuki as if after that statement he would be in any mood to help. Katsuki growled low through his teeth but whatever beating Denki was sure to receive was cut short as Ida tumbled into view.

"Denki, Mina, return to sweeping at once! We must have this place spotless before midnight so that Mr. and Mrs. Yagi see a return on their deposit! They have entrusted this to us specifically, we cannot let them down!" Ida reminded, eliciting a long breath of frustration from the recent graduates.

"Yes class rep," the two repeated, slinking dejectedly back to their duties. Katsuki forced his hands to unclench, the rising bout of anger calmed just as quickly as it had been spurned. Only a few years prior he would have chased it, reveled in how powerful it made him feel regardless of the devastation it left in its wake. It didn't matter what or who his anger hurt, because it was never his fault he was angry in the first place. The problem wasn't the reaction or what immediately followed, but the fact that someone was stupid enough to make him feel it in the first place.

Of course, things were never that easy, and what he had once considered a respectable part of his personality had cracked and revealed the ugly bits beneath. He wasn't honest, he lied every chance he got, even to himself, he was just a rude punk who liked how it felt to say things others had rightfully kept inside. He wasn't a forerunner, he was brash and impatient. Sure it kept him alive some of the time, his risk paying off, his ego just close enough to the truth to allow him to scrape by, but it didn't mean it wasn't a hindrance. It was a parasite, an instinct he had to fight through every time something went the least bit off of plan.

He had done a lot of growing since entering U.A, and even when he was at his most frustrated, analyzing and picking apart the bits of him that made him weak, he could at least say that he was objectively a better person, a better hero then he'd been before.

So why, when he thought of debuting on the hero boards, did he still feel so unbearably shitty?

"The chairs are all finished up, you'll just need to get one of the knuckleheads to run them up into the truck," Katsuki called, grabbing his tux jacket off of the last remaining table.

"Are you calling it a night already Bakugo? Normally you'd be jumping at the chance to organize a cleaning venture-" Ida began, but Katsuki forced a rather animated yawn from his lips, practically cracking his jaw before peering down to the waiting watch on his wrist.

"Yeah, no, it's gotten too late for my taste. I did my job, the rest of you have got this," he muttered, eyes skillfully taking inventory of the rest of the room. His mom and dad were specifically missing. The old hag had gotten pretty drunk during the reception, more likely than not the two were making out in some poor janitor's closet, a feat not even the actual high school aged attendants had managed to stoop to.

"Well let me at least go and find Midoryia, I know that he'll want to thank you for all your help today! I believe he's also in charge of the master list for everyone's new addresses and contact information. I've already reminded you but you'll need to tell him what day you're flying out, everyone who's still left in Musutafu will want to give you a grand send off!" Katsuki felt his teeth grind beneath the words, tightening his jaw in the way he often did when holding back a biting remark. This time however it was not anger masked beneath his face- but something much harder to read.

Guilt?

"…don't bother, nerds probably fallen asleep crying on the toilet or something. We've got phones, he can text me whatever," Katsuki muttered. Ida looked at Katsuki for a long moment, as if trying to see just far enough past the surface to see the cause of a ripple above. Whatever he was searching for he didn't find, so instead he merely clasped Katsuki's large shoulders and gave him a hearty pat.

"Thank you for your help today Bakugo! Remember to relay your flight plans to Midoriya, preferably five to six hours ahead of your boarding time as is recommended for international airlines!" Katsuki rolled his eyes in irritation but nodded, peeling Ida's hands from his shoulder. Managing a half assed wave he slipped himself out of the ballroom doors, grateful to not be stopped by any of the other stragglers along the way.

He hadn't been lying when he said he was tired.

It felt like he hadn't had time to catch his breath for the past three years, entering U.A, being hunted by the league of villains, starting the hero war, ending the hero war, cramming years of lost studies into a span of months, toiling over what agency would be best for him, scrambling through finals and graduation, sleepwalking from one obligation to the next.

But this was the last one, the last time all of 1-A would be together, the last time they sat at a table as equals before their future carried them where it wished. So, with less arguing than he wanted, he stayed for the wedding, he watched as his friends made fools of themselves, allowed them to drag him into their nonsense, and finally let himself breathe.

And it made him realize he was incredibly, idiotically tired.

He wasn't stupid enough to think that his parents would be out in the car waiting for him but he was naive enough to at least hope. He rolled his eyes when he found the sedan empty, his hands idly patting across his pockets for a set of keys. He groaned in recollection, his father having taken them early on in the day to make an emergency sewing trip for the bride and groom. He'd warned them that something would happen, that it would be easier to pack their kit than it would be to find a needle and thread in the middle of the countryside, but of course they hadn't listened.

Deciding it was better to wait in the cold than try and face his friends again he resigned himself to leaning against the door, taking in the quiet dark around him. With a slow practiced breath he allowed his eyes to shut, only gathering a moment's peace before he felt the familiar mist of rain wetting his face. Sure enough by the time that he'd managed the energy to open his eyes the skies had begun their fall in earnest, a steady stream of water pouring from the obscured night sky and onto the garden.

"Ahh! Crap, crap, crap! The tops still open! This is what I get for trying to look cool-" an unexpected voice whispered. Katsuki didn't have to look to know exactly who it belonged to, could make out his whisper fifty miles away.

Deku-

Izuku, flopped himself over the door of his beat up convertible, his short legs practically kicking in panic as he turned the engine over and started the process of bringing the car's soft top back into place. And yeah, maybe Katsuki enjoyed the view for a bit longer than he was willing to admit, but that was just because he was a guy. A guy attracted to other guys. That realization had of course caused a bit of emotional turmoil when it first appeared, but he had grown, he was different now. He hadn't exactly made it public but it wasn't because he was ashamed, it just had never seemed relevant. He was never interested in having a relationship with anyone in the first place so in the end it didn't matter what side of the fence people thought he was on. He would just enjoy what he enjoyed, silently and without need for anyone else to know. It was a boundary, one he would not be crossing anytime soon.

And right now that boundary meant he was allowed to appreciate the custom pants his mother had made and the way they clung to all the right places, especially when he was stuttering like an idiot, half hung over the convertible side door. And yeah it was Deku. dorky, blubbering Deku, but even heterosexual idiot like Denki could see how good he looked tonight.

Most nights.

Every night.

What he wasn't allowed to do was feel beyond that, to imagine that he'd worn those clothes in hopes of catching his eyes, that he wanted to be wanted- so he pushed that rush of warmth aside, locked it in a vault that was already threatening to burst and repeated his practiced mantra in his head. Admiring Izuku was fine, healthy even, but if Deku had ever realized the way that admiration was twisting into…feelings…the boy would be petrified.

Disgusted.

That was too far, that crossed a line, that took consent away from someone who had no idea they were even being propositioned. So he just didn't do it. He didn't feel those things. Those feelings were wrong, even if he'd accepted that everything else was ok.

So he simply watched, allowing himself a smirk as Izuku climbed off the door back to solid ground. Even from this far Katsuki could see the comical panic rippling throughout his body. He frantically looked around him, though Katsuki wasn't sure what he hoped to find, before eventually grabbing the sleeve of his suit jacket and begin to wriggle his arm out. Katsuki thought maybe he was just trying to readjust only to realize as he started with the other sleeve he was just taking the jacket off in one of the most clumsy, alien-like ways possible. It was like watching someone bite into a kit-kat whole.

Monstrous.

Katsuki groaned, like the one action itself had thrown him back to reality. Nice pants or not, Izuku was still an idiot.

This was only clarified by the ridiculous car Izuku stood next to. Normally, no matter their age, convertibles oozed cool. They were sleek and sexy, packed with power, and so incredibly impractical that they pretty much cemented their place in history as the car a man had when he could have anything.

Pretty much the exact opposite of Izuku.

Somehow the idiot had managed to find the one vintage relic that made him look like even more of a dork. The car was dated, not dingy, but old enough that even proper care couldn't keep it from having lost its luster and shine. Izuku had lovingly referred to it as a 'pagoda' because of the strange roof shape, though what the actual official title for it was Katsuki couldn't be bothered to remember. It was a nice shade of emerald green, though of course Izuku had fucked that up by installing a bright red soft top. Katsuki refused to go near it unless he promised to keep that thing locked away. It would be bad enough to be seen being driven around by Deku, let alone looking like that. He had to have some dignity, he was going to be the number one hero after all.

Cars weren't really needed in this part of Japan but somehow Toshinori had gotten it in his head that they should fix up an old project together before Izuku graduated, just in case he needed it. Izuku had never been one to accept gifts or being spoiled, he'd told Toshinori as such, but the man had been insistent.

Maybe he'd secretly been hoping the gesture would serve as a sign that he and Inko were alright if he wanted to move on, handing over the keys to exploration instead of trying to coddle or hold him too close. Inko had always been a bit overbearing, and during the years of the war Toshinori too had grown paranoid and anxious over Izuku's well being. They had come on too strong, trying to control Izuku's path so that he remained safe and cared for rather than letting him fall or fail on his own. It was only when he'd begun his senior year that they realized their folly, their child suddenly months from being an adult.

Still, the time hadn't been a complete waste. It turned out, buried somewhere in Izuku's big stupid nerd brain was a bit of an engineer. Katsuki wouldn't go so far as to say he was a gear head, but there was an unspoken pleasure about ripping something broken apart to create something usable and new that really clicked with Izuku's line of obsession.

He could still remember the day that he'd found it, his car, his project. He had known the two were hopping from junk yard to junk yard that day, but by the way his phone had blown up with frantic messages and calls Katsuki had ran, yes ran, to pick it up. It was embarrassing to think about now but even in recollection he could feel how his heart had gone twenty miles a minute thinking of all the ways Izuku could be hurt, kidnapped, beaten, or scared. He'd assumed the worst, though he couldn't exactly fault himself for it. Afterall, All for One had only recently been defeated. Months had passed but most of those had been spent in the hospital, recuperating from the absolute devastation their final battle had caused.

Class 1-A had somehow all survived, but that hadn't applied to everyone.

Katsuki and Izuku were in the hospital the longest, having been the actual two to bring Shigaraki down. Katsuki had fallen first, leaving Izuku to face the demon alone. He hated himself for that, killed himself with rage as he lay useless in his bed, knowing that he could have saved so many more people if he'd just not been so damn weak. He'd taken the blow for Izuku, had saved Izuku's life, but it was not Deku's that Katsuki blamed. All for One should never have gotten that close. The only reason Shiguraki had that chance to strike when he did was because Katsuki couldn't keep up, because even in his minor background character role he had not been strong enough to do as he was told.

He was supposed to protect Deku, to keep the symbol of peace alive- and he'd almost failed in that completely.

It was insane how quickly the rest of the world moved on, how easily they fell back into day to day routines as if the war had never happened. Only days after being dismissed from the hospital his father was helping him put his uniform on, gently guiding his broken bones so that he could walk through those halls and sit at his desk, studying for a test that held no actual value, listening to a lecture on history as if they didn't just fucking live it. It was like stepping into a separate reality, one where they had never gone through a war or heard the screams of dying friends.

Kids fighting for their very lives for so long didn't have little moments like this. Soldiers didn't have finals week and prom and car shopping with your dad. In the trenches of it all, when their family had been guarded under lock and key, when the citizens huddled under UA's protection, when he and his classmates did the jobs 'amazing' heroes were too cowardly to do, there was no looking to the future. Living was day to day, and the only future you had was the hours until you made it to morning.

You fought or you died, you fought or you caused someone else to die, you fought or those children watching you with fearful eyes, barely able to even comprehend the horror before them would be out fighting instead.

Hell, it had been an entire year since the final battle and he still had to force himself to think of more than just the present, of more than just survival. It was a constant struggle, but at the very least it was one he thought he was not fighting alone.

So when Izuku bombarded him with lengthy messages and pictures he had assumed the worst. Instead he saw Izuku beaming, pointing at a useless old shell and exposed motor, excited beyond reason over something objectively trivial. It was then that he realized, despite how deeply he was struggling, his camaraderie in suffering was in fact a figment of his own imagining. He'd just assumed that the reason it was so easy for everyone else was because they didn't have to fight the way he and Izuku did, they didn't have to be a part of the devastation of that final battle, they didn't have to fight, prepared to die, so that the rest of the world had a chance at peace.

Izuku was the only other person who could understand- because only Izuku had given up as much as Katsuki had. But…Izuku was happy. Izuku was smiling without having to think if it was worth the effort. Izuku was picking out cars with his dad and bubbling with glee over the dark green tint, already fantasizing about how he could sneak some bright red in without Toshinori noticing. Izuku wasn't just pretending to feel normal.

Izuku was moving on.

And it made him feel the same way Izuku always managed to make him feel-

Humbled.

Idiotic.

Left behind.

Katsuki's eyes returned from memory just in time to see Izuku throw his jacket over the passenger's side, keeping it from the bulk of the rain while the top whined back to life. It was a strange act but Katsuki didn't give it too much thought. Maybe he was going to bring a date home from the reception. Maybe he was trying to make a good impression, dressed to the nines, waiting by a car he had fixed himself, growing more drenched by the moment as he patiently waited for their arrival. It was stupid either way, he was the goddamn symbol of peace.

He didn't need to impress anyone.

With the car now secured Izuku relaxed beside the hood, his long scarred fingers clenching beneath the dent in anticipation. Katsuki knew he shouldn't stare, that he was dancing dangerously close to that line he'd drawn, but he couldn't force his eyes away. He wasn't used to seeing Izuku put together. Anyone would have gaped at him for a few minutes, at least anyone who knew what he normally looked like.

His mom and dad had been in charge of clothes for the wedding party, and while that mostly meant making Inko the absolute belle of the ball it also rippled to the loved ones who were privileged enough to stand beside them. The wedding planners had decided on jewel colors, deep greens and rich purple, soft sprinkles of tan and an almost black blue. It had all been meant to compliment Inko's tone and complexion but, inadvertently, had done the same to Izuku as well. As he was the best man his mother had chosen a peacock bowtie (real feathers, not a pattern of course, his mother wasn't a lunatic) that Katsuki had scoffed at right up until he caught a glimpse of Toshinori helping him put it on.

The dork looked fantastic. Ethereal. He'd been so entranced he didn't even register the cocky smirk his reaction had garnered from his mothers face.

He hated how long he stared at his stupid dancing, the way he twirled with Eri in his arms even when the music had stopped, how perfect and unbelievably overjoyed he'd been just from being surrounded by his family and friends.

More than anything though he hated how angry it made him feel; because Izuku wasn't faking any of it. It wasn't a mask, or an attempt to keep the peace by hiding his broken wounds. He had figured out how to be happy. And as terrible as it was to feel, seeing Izuku that way made him want to throw up. It irritated him, fired up an anger that he had tried to snuff since the early years the two of them had spent together. Beyond the instinct to punch that grin off his face however was something he didn't dare try to uncover, something he kept tight and secure- because he knew lifting that lid meant he could never close it again.

So he just watched as the rain soaked through Izuku's shirt, the boy's hands nervously fiddling with the clasp on his suspenders. A part of him was afraid to move. So far Izuku hadn't noticed him and if he stayed quiet he might be able to wait out his parents make out session and not bother with a long goodbye. Still, the longer he stood the more pathetic and nervous he seemed to be. And though Katsuki wasn't sure why the thought of anyone else seeing him so vulnerable made his blood race with rage.

"You look like a turkey standing like that. Close your damn mouth or you'll drown," Katsuki muttered, pulling off the wall to join him.

Izuku immediately stood to attention, his jaw snapping shut at his command as if he had forced the motion himself. He managed to hide a smirk as he drew closer, hands placed specifically in his pockets so he didn't look too eager.

Because he wasn't-

"What are you doing out here? Waiting on someone?" Katsuki questioned, motioning his head to the jacket laying across his passenger seat.

"Kacchan! Ah- yeah I guess you could say that! I was, um, well I was actually waiting for you!" Izuku rambled, his comfortable lean turning to an all too practiced straight back. If it wasn't for the goofy grin plastering his cheeks Katsuki would have said he looked ready to be scolded. Still, for some reason he didn't want to dwell on his smirk returned. This time he didn't bother to hide it.

"Oh yeah? Why's that nerd?" he asked, closing the distance between them. It made his heart pump with ego and pride to see Izuku still stand taller. Despite his best efforts Izuku still had to raise his eyes up to meet Katsuki's own. It had been touch and go there for a while, Katsuki only holding onto his height winning streak by a few inches before their third year. Thankfully he'd had a bit of a growth spurt after recovering from the final battle, and while it wasn't the looming presence he had hoped for, it was enough height to be intimidating.

That wasn't what he'd hoped to achieve right now though so he wasn't quite sure why his body had made him draw so close. Izuku's face was flushed with color, no doubt from running around all night, the light red only further distinguishing his splatter of freckles along his cheeks. After a cold winter like this some of them stayed dormant, only blossoming when he spent long hours in the sun. With such a deep blush Katsuki could almost make out the ones that were hidden away, their soft brown hue calling for him to reach out and touch.

"Oh well I ran into auntie and uncle in the bathroom and, uh, well safe to say I don't think they're coming out anytime soon so I…well I figured I could offer you a ride home! I saw you didn't bring your bike so…" Izuku trailed off as Katsuki's breath unconsciously hitched. He tried to hide the sudden pause but it was clear that Izuku had seen right through it. No matter what he did, no matter how good he got at lying, Izuku was still the one person he could never fool.

It would have been almost sweet if it wasn't so damn annoying.

"Yeah, well…these country roads are too rough to bring my bike on. I'll just wait them out, I'm not in a rush," Katsuki answered, keeping his voice as level as possible so as to not reveal anything more. Izuku might be able to tell when something was off but it didn't mean he had to hand him the answer on a silver platter.

At his words Izuku's face dropped, not into disappointment, or annoyance, but something far more lonely. Katsuki's eyes widened, taken aback by the sudden silent attack. He held up his hands, half to halt Izuku's no doubt running thoughts and half in instinctual surrender, anything to get him to stop directing those eyes in his direction.

"Hey, I didn't mean-"

"…you're leaving for America tonight aren't you?"

Katsuki froze, his entire body suddenly tight and stiff. Izuku just stared, his sad expression softening into a sad and defeated smile. He knew it was likely for his benefit, but somehow it only made the entire thing worse. Katsuki swallowed hard, feeling his throat tighten. His mind rushed with lies, ways to dissuade the boy's thoughts, to get himself out of whatever mess he'd unknowingly created, but all that stuck was the truth.

"…how'd you know?" he quietly muttered.

"You rode here with your parents. There's no reason on earth the Kaachan I know would suffer through that without there being no other choice. You can't very well park your bike at the airport so…it stands to reason someone would have to take you," Izuku answered, sounding far too logical about it all, as if it were simple, as if he were far too easy to read.

"I could have just wanted to have a few drinks. We're legal now you know," Katsuki bit back, though he knew there was no point. Izuku laughed, though there was a hollowness to it that twisted Katsuki's throat.

"I thought of that actually- but for that excuse to work you'd actually have to partake in some. You haven't had a drop since you got here, I assume because you don't want to try navigating the terminals tipsy," Izuku taunted, further rubbing Katsuki's agitation.

"And how would you know that? What? Were you stalking me all night?" he growled, though the bite behind it was missing. Even with his fake anger Izuku's eyes never left him, his face softening as he returned the smile he'd lost.

"Not all night," Izuku answered with a shrug. Katsuki could swear he saw the slightest bit of a blush pull at his cheeks but before he could comment on it Izuku was already back to rambling.

"Besides, if either your bike or drinking were your real reasons for sharing a ride you would have shown up with Kirishima or Kaminari. It was strange no matter how I looked at it. I'd hoped I was reading too much into it. But…I wasn't. I was right. You're leaving tonight and the only reason you suffered through your mom and dad carpooling was so that you didn't have to deal with-…well…us." Izuku breathed, his words growing weaker the longer he spoke, like he was running out of breath, as if the words themselves had drained him.

His eyes never left Katsuki's and it killed him.

"….so what? You here to lecture me for trying to take a quiet exit?" Katsuki finally managed, sounding far harsher than he wanted. To his credit Izuku didn't falter. He kept that sad smirk along his lips, knowing that he'd won even if it was a game he didn't want to be playing. After a beat of silence Izuku shook his head, stepping back from Katsuki's form, giving the both of them a bit of distance. Katsuki immediately felt the urge to replace it, to stay looming, nose to nose so that he couldn't be taken by surprise, so that he'd stay holding the upper hand.

This wasn't a battle but god it felt just as dangerous.

Still, he managed to keep himself away, to let Izuku stay just out or arms reach as he leaned along the cars hood. Katsuki noted the way his hands sunk in an almost painful grip, his knuckles turning white as Izuku pushed a slow sigh out his lips, the chill mist gathered in front of his face and fell across the rainy wind, dragging like a tired and dejected dragon's breath.

"…no," Izuku settled, resigning himself in a way that seemed as if he'd already known the answer. "I know better than to try and talk you out of something once you've committed to it. I just…wanted to offer a ride."

Katsuki's eyes darted to the passenger seat covered by Izuku's jacket,

"…and if I say no? Planning on telling our shitty friends I'm already leaving?" Katsuki questioned, trying to find the rip in the otherwise all too easy situation. By this point he'd expected theatrics, big droplet tears and curses in a way only Izuku would know to make hurt. He'd expected rage for ruining what was otherwise a perfect night, for trying to slip away, for trying to run-

"Nope. I may not agree with it but if you want to do this without an audience that's up to you Kaachan, no catch involved," Izuku assured, as always able to read his mind without provocation. Katsuki stayed silent, a lone glance shared back to the reception hall before finally settling on Izuku again. It wasn't like he was in a rush to get to the airport, he'd given himself plenty of time, especially given how finicky the old hag could be with keeping a schedule. If Izuku wasn't lying he could just send the nerd on his way and be done with it. He'd have no problem ditching his parents at the terminal and ignoring whatever emotional baggage they tried saddling him with before he was free of it entirely.

No sappy drawn out goodbyes, no guilt for not staying behind like the rest of the class, no saddling each other with the fear of the war all over again, the panic that this might really be the last time-

"…you gonna cry?" he mumbled, raising his head to meet Izuku's gaze. Izuku let out a laugh and it tickled the inside of Katsuki's ears in a way nothing else could.

"Probably a little," he bashfully admitted. Katsuki let out a 'tsk', clicking his tongue as his foot found a few rocks beneath him. He stuffed his hands harshly within his pockets, unsure of what to do with them as he wordlessly moved to the passenger side. Izuku watched him curiously, as if unsure of what he was doing until the very moment Katsuki threw open the door.

"…whatever, let's just go. It's a long drive so…I'll give you some gas money or some shit."

Izuku stared at him with wide eyes before nodding with his usual dumb expression, his hands practically sliding off the handle with nerves as he hitched himself into the driver's seat.

Katsuki hadn't been lying when he said the drive would be a long one. The wedding and reception had been held at a rose garden hours away from the city, allowing them to be surrounded by tall trees and a sort of quiet that only the countryside could offer. Though a few hours was hardly unbearable, most had chosen to stay at a hotel for the night and take in all that the villa had to offer. After being found out Katsuki had been certain that the hours of travel were going to drag. Izuku would either fill the time with pointless, endless conversation or silently punish him by stewing in tense, punishing quiet.

He found himself surprised a second time that night when it turned out to be neither. Izuku drove through the night roads with no real necessity or rush. Their conversation was easy, natural, the silence comfortable and safe. The longer the road went on without any sudden surprises or attacks the further Katsuki relaxed, the drain of the past few months finally leaving him. His eyes closed and though he knew Izuku could see it the boy made no effort to wake him.

He had prepared himself for Izuku to be mad, to feel betrayed that Katsuki was leaving him. He'd been waiting for his lashing ever since he'd announced his final choice of agency, a choice he'd specifically waited until the last minute to tell. By the way Izuku's face dropped and paled he thought it was coming right then and there, but he'd stayed quiet, and eventually found a smile to congratulate him.

It felt sickening. Despite being the one to apply for jobs abroad all he wanted in that moment was for Izuku to tell him how stupid he was being, how much stronger they were together, how they'd done only amazing things since they'd chosen to fight at eachothers side instead of at one another. It was an obsessive craving, needing Izuku to tear him apart as desperately as a desert needed water.

Which was the reason he'd needed this break to begin with.

"…music's not actually half bad…" he quietly muttered, the exhaustion clear within his figure. Considering it was Izuku's mother's wedding day he'd expected the car to be loaded with gooey romantic ballads or blaring pop songs of true love and all its majesty. Instead steady hums and deep melodies of heartbreak and loneliness reverberated throughout the speakers. It was cathartic in a way, though Katsuki would never voice that part.

"Thank you! Jiro made it for me, said it could help me 'sort through some shit'" Izuku informed, his cheery voice a stark contrast to the agonizing crack of the worn singer screaming through his guitar. Katsuki peeked an eye open, trying to hide his amusement.

"Yeah…? What sort of shit does a nerd like you have to be sorting? I mean, besides your childhood hero shacking up with your mom. Because personally I don't think there are enough songs in the world to make that crap make sense." He muttered.

"Actually I'm in pretty high spirits about the wedding! Not specifically the shacking up part but…it's good to see mom happy…to see both of them happy!" Izuku assured, and somehow Katsuki could see that he meant it. He rolled his eyes, unsure of how that could be true. Relaxing in his seat he crossed his arms along his chest, harboring in his self made heat.

"…yeah well…we always knew All Might was your dad…it's just taken him this long to go and make it official," he reasoned to which Izuku gave an eager nod, eyes still stuck to the road.

"…he wanted to adopt me you know?"'

Katsuki sat up a bit straighter, having never heard this new bit of information.

"…tonight?" he questioned, earning a soft laugh from Izuku.

"No!" his gentle laugh fell short as he looked over to Katsuki, his nerves slowly creeping back to the surface,their short stay at a light giving him the chance to meet the boy's eyes for the first time. Katsuki could see the flashes of recollection, the memory tightening his otherwise relaxed form. Subconsciously his fingers played with the steering wheel, giving him something to focus on other than the man at his side.

"Um…no…it was after that big battle with All for One. You know the one we…" his words fell short but Katsuki knew exactly what battle he was referring to. It wasn't exactly easy to forget, the battle the one Katsuki had taken the hit in, the one he and Izuku nearly died in, the one All for One had died in.

"We'd purposefully led the battle away from civilization as much as possible so when I was taken to the hospital...well, it took a while to pass the message that I was hurt to my mom. They needed signatures for surgeries and treatment and, you know, basically everything they had to do to keep me alive. They kept trying to get Hisashi to come in since, unbeknownst to me, he was actually closer but…you know how he is," Izuku's eyes glazed, the mention of his birth father putting a coldness to the air that even Katsuki could not heat.

"Anyway, Toshinori was there. He'd followed after us in the fight. He was one of the first ones to find us when the dust had cleared. He was at my side the whole time but when it came to keeping me alive…he was little more than a spectator. He just felt so…powerless. He watched me flat line again and again, watched how much harder it was to get me back with each setback. He had to sit there, holding me, scared out of his skin that Hisashi would get there first, that he'd decide it wasn't worth the effort, that he'd pull the plug, leaving me to rot. He looked for every loop hole in the book but in the end, legally, he had no say," Izuku's white gripped knuckles sank into the leather steering wheel, only relaxing when Izuku began to temper his breathing.

"Deep down he's always known he was my father in the ways that mattered but…it was the first time that wasn't enough. So when I woke up…he asked if it would be ok to adopt me," Izuku explained, suddenly feeling Katsuki's full attention on him. He laughed a bit nervously, not understanding the sudden stare before nervously continuing.

"I mean I was turning eighteen soon anyways so it wouldn't have made much of a difference! In a few years blood wouldn't decide who knew what was best for me, he wouldn't need a paper to know he was always the most important," he rambled. Katsuki sat at full attention now, a sharp contrast from the lazed posture he had only moments before.

"…you never told me that," Katsuki whispered, so quiet Izuku almost wasn't sure it had come from him.

"Which part?" he questioned.

"That you died."

Izuku's blood ran cold as his fingers tightened on the wheel. He was suddenly very grateful that the light chose then to spare him, forcing them back into motion so that he did not have to face Katsuki fully.

"Oh…yeah…I guess not. It wasn't malicious or anything, it's just by the time I regained consciousness the doctors agreed the hard part was over and there was little risk of it happening again. It's not like I remembered it happening or anything so…I didn't think to bring it up." Izuku rambled, incredibly thankful when Katsuki's eyes lowered, his back settling once more into the curve of his seat. They sat in silence like that for a time before Katsuki's voice broke through.

"…so...what did you say?"

"Say to what?"

Katsuki rolled his eyes, as if the question couldn't be any more obvious.

"To when he asked to adopt you."

"Oh!" Izuku straightened in surprise, having thought the discussion to be over. As it was a rather stark departure from talking about his momentary brushes with death however Izuku was quick to refocus his attention.

"I…well to be honest I was on a lot of painkillers at the time so I think I asked him if I was in heaven? I mean, All Might asking if I'd be okay being his son? Ha, yeah that was some 'perfect world simulation' material if I'd ever seen one. He tried again later when I was a little more…together…and I…I guess I just told him the truth? I told him that I was flattered and shocked and obviously over the moon but…the paper didn't matter to me. He'd done what my dad never bothered to. He'd stuck around."

At the last sentence Katsuki could feel his breathing cracking, all too aware that Izuku no doubt felt his own choice to leave as an abandonment. He knew Izuku too well to think he'd done it on purpose, but the thought twisted itself in his chest, making his heart labor and his lungs shudder with cold. Thankfully whatever pain it had caused went unnoticed as Izuku squinted his vision, carefully following the cars in front of him as he merged into oncoming traffic.

"I think we both knew it just wasn't the right time. After everything that had happened I know most of us didn't even dream we'd live to see graduation, so now that all of it was finally over, well, it's not an overstatement to say we were all riding a pretty big high. He was being sincere in the moment but I just didn't want him to rush to a decision because he'd almost lost me. I told him once I was eighteen and he and my mom had come to an agreement, I'd be more than happy to be his son. Neither of us is worried about it. If that day comes it'll come," Izuku stated, idly shrugging.

"…he will…want you to be his son I mean," Katsuki assured, but Izuku's half taken stare confessed that he wasn't so confident.

"…I hope so."

Katsuki watched Izuku for a while after that, glad that he had grown so focused with humming along to the remaining playlist that his sudden study went unnoticed. Katsuki fought the urge to poke his cheek as Izuku's teeth clenched along the flesh of his cheek, something he always did when he was lost in focus. Izuku had always been the sort that wore his heart on his shoulders, the one who cried freely and didn't bother to hide his happiness or affection. On the rare occasions he did lie Katsuki always knew it. He'd known it when he was lying about One-For-All and he'd known he was lying when he said those months alone as a vigilante didn't bother him. He knew he was lying when he hid away his night terrors, when he said that Shiguraki's death didn't bother him…or when he told Katsuki he was happy he'd gotten the agency spot that he'd wanted.

Izuku was terrified. He could see it as easily as if the man had screamed it at the top of his lungs, but even with it so obvious he never revealed the truth. He kept up the lie from friend to friend, from paralyzing fear to the next as he learned just how many would no longer be within reach, just how many were leaving him behind.

"…you sure you want to waste your first year as a graduate training with Aizawa?" Katsuki suddenly questioned, raising a brow to Izuku as his eyes squinted in concentration.

"You know you don't have to, right? You're pretty much the most capable hero there is- besides me of course. If you're that worried about leaving auntie it's not like there aren't local agencies you can apply to. I'm not going to be satisfied with taking the number one slot first just because you got a late start you know," Katsuki tested, watching Izuku's reaction as a quiet laugh escaped his lips. It sounded tired- forced.

"I'm sure," Izuku answered, and at least that much he wasn't lying about.

"So much of my high school life was just…adapting to what was happening around me. I was getting stronger sure but it was just getting strong enough to handle the power, getting just fast enough to avoid being captured, becoming just competent enough to hold my own if the league managed to find me. Then in the war…well...all of that effort only had one goal- beating All-For-One, no matter the cost. Every technique I've learned with my new powers, every new ounce of strength or strategy was tailored to taking him down…" Izuku trailed off before seeming to feel Katsuki's growing stare.

"And I'm not complaining!" he nervously laughed "It was important! The most important thing…at least…at the time. And it worked! We made One-For-All just powerful enough to quiet All-For-One forever. It's just…well…" he trailed off but Katsuki understood without him needing to explain.

"Before I put myself out there as a proper 'hero' I think I need to learn how to use these powers to actually help…to find out exactly how many ways I can save and rescue the lives of the people who are trusting in me. I could sign as I am now but…out in the real world, with real lives on the line…well it's not the place to be testing out new techniques. When I debut I want it to be as the most rounded version of myself I can be. A few years here or there is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I'm just grateful Mr. Aizawa agreed to it!"

"You're lucky All Might didn't take offense to you not asking him first," Katsuki reminded. Izuku laughed nervously, nodding in silent thought. It would have already been hard enough hurting the feelings of his mentor, the last thing he needed was a sad step-dad on top of that.

"All Might's was an incredible teacher, but I think he and I both know he's not the person I need for this sort of training. Even if I had asked him he would have probably just recommended someone else instead. Being away from them…is going to be hard. But I know that it's for the best. It'll give them time together to be alone as a couple instead of…well…my parents. Still, I've never been on my own for so long before," Izuku mused "at least I'll have Mr. Yamada and Eri to keep me company- when I'm not training with Mr. Aizawa of course!"

Katsuki nodded, letting the matter drop though he still wasn't sure that he agreed. Izuku had done too much work keeping the world safe for him to just drop off the radar. He knew that it would only be a year, two at max, but people's attention could be fickle. Within a few news cycles, a few natural disasters, a few new police busts the public would move on from the amazing victory of 'Hero Deku' to whatever lame new 'it' hero popped on their feeds. Sure he'd always have fans of the people he personally saved but the general population could hardly be expected to wait for his reemergence, especially with so many prominent faces debuting from U.A that year.

Whatever his thoughts, Izuku's decisions had nothing to do with him, and if he said he needed more time to train then he'd let the matter drop- at least for now.

He wasn't sure where the time had gone, only that in the blink of an eye the peaceful country had been replaced by city lights, long open roads molded into crammed highways until they were funneled through airport terminals. Katsuki didn't say anything when Izuku turned to park. It would be faster to just drop him off at the airline, it wasn't as if he wanted Izuku to come in with him, but he kept quiet.

He wasn't in a rush after all.

"Shoot, did we totally space out on your bags?! I didn't even think about getting them from aunties car-" Izuku hissed, quickly growing frazzled as Katsuki rolled his eyes.

"I wouldn't forget that shit. I have my phone and my paperwork on me, I don't need anything else. The agencies taking care of all that."

Izuku immediately relaxed, whispering some sort of 'thank goodness' beneath his breath before hurrying to meet Katsuki's stride. It should have annoyed him that Izuku didn't even bother asking if it was ok to come to the terminal with him. He'd already foiled his quiet departure by figuring out his plan, the least he could do is pretend to give Katsuki the option of doing this alone. Still, he wasn't surprised that he couldn't muster the energy. It was why he'd picked his parents to be the unlucky few taking him. They might have given birth and life to him but he wouldn't feel any sort of pity leaving them crying outside the airport windows.

Well, maybe a little, he wasn't heartless after all.

The thought of doing the same to Izuku however put his mind in a full stop, unable to even conjure the image by how impossible it would prove to be.

So, keeping his hands in his pockets he walked beside him leisurely, glad for the dark cover of night otherwise skewing Izuku's features. He didn't know what the man was thinking, was certain he didn't want to, but his gaze floundered under every street light, lingered when the beam of passing cars bounced off his skin.

Izuku was uncharacteristically quiet through their short walk. Maybe he was as afraid as Katsuki to break the silence, to test and shatter whatever comfortable air had settled between them. The last thing he wanted to do before he left was say something stupid he'd later regret, an inevitability if Katsuki let his mouth run for too long. Izuku was probably thinking the same thing, though for very different reasons. It wasn't like Izuku had to worry about pushing someone away. He was too kind, too honest, he would never say something he didn't mean out of anger, would never call him names that held no actual truth in his heart.

He'd never have such a disgusting secret, never be forced to create invisible lines so that his intentions would never be found out.

It felt like he blinked and they were suddenly in front of airport security. He didn't remember entering the building, let alone walking this far in. How long had he been standing here, staring at the few feet that would decidedly separate them from one another, going somewhere Izuku could not follow.

"…thanks for the ride, nerd. Don't drive stupid on the way back just cause I'm not there to lecture you," Katsuki muttered, feeling out of body as the words fell from his lips. His muscles were doing what his brain could not, forcing space that he didn't want to leave, moving away when he just wanted to stand still. He was thankful for it, not sure he'd have the strength to force it himself only to be caught by Izuku's warm grip, seconds before he could vanish away.

Katsuki turned his eyes down to Izuku's scarred fingers, heat brewing in his chest at how pitifully they shook despite the death grip he'd managed to snake. He stared down at Izuku's shoes, certain that meeting his gaze at that moment would be the death of him. He didn't pull away though, couldn't, not until Izuku let him go on his own. He may have had the courage to leave but that's where his strength died. Forcing Izuku back, prying apart his fingers to leave him alone and crying was just beyond what he was capable.

"…hey…" Katsuki breathed, but Izuku didn't listen. If he could have physically thrown his hands over his ears without letting go of Katsuki's arm he would have, desperate to drown out whatever logic or assurances Katsuki could give. He had to let go, of course he did. He couldn't keep Katsuki here forever, no matter how much stronger he'd grown over the years. He could maybe tackle him into a fight, keep him back long enough to miss his plane, but what about the next one? Or the one after that?

Katsuki's warm hand moved across Izuku's and he bit back a sob. Half throwing himself forward, half dragging Katsuki closer Izuku abandoned his hold to throw his arms around Katsuki's frame, clinging to him in the most rib crushing embrace he'd ever dared to give.

Katsuki didn't even flinch.

"Kaachan why are you really doing this? Why are you…" his quiet breath hitched and Katsuki could tell he was close to crying. "I know what you told everyone else but…but it's just me now so…please…I need to know the reason…I need to know why you're really leaving me…"

Katsuki flinched, unable to ignore the hurt in his words. Normally he'd tear the boy a new one for being so egotistical as to assume his choice in agency had anything to do with him, that he would pick anything short of the greatest, no matter whose feelings it hurt, but that wasn't the truth.

It was what he said. It was what he repeated enough times that even he had begun to believe it. But it wasn't honest.

So why was he doing this?

Because I'm getting complicit.

Because I'm changing.

Because I'm feeling things that I don't know how to control.

Because every time I see you get hurt I lose my goddamn mind.

Because the idea of you choosing to be anywhere but by my side makes me want to jump out of my skin.

Because without school forcing us together you will make that choice.

Because I'm only getting stronger when I'm beside you.

Because you're getting stronger whether I'm there or not.

Because I'm afraid of being this codependent.

Because I need to prove that I can do this without you.

"…because I want to," Katsuki whispered, trying not to think how easy such lies had become. "I want to travel and it's a good opportunity and all that. It's not forever. Besides, you'll be fighting bears in the wilderness or some shit, it's not like you'll even have time to miss me."

"You'll come back right? You're coming back?" Izuku pleaded, his nails practically tearing away at the flesh beneath his shirt.

"Ehh? Of course I am! I've gotta make sure I get the number one spot here too!" Katsuki snapped, his own arm lazily falling behind Izuku's neck, limp along his shoulders so that Izuku could feel his own resolve. At the simple touch, the confirmation of even this small affection Izuku broke down in sobs. He hid his face away, not daring to let Katsuki go as Katsuki slowly squeezed him in turn, pulling his messy mop of hair tight to his chest. In a moment of weakness Katsuki leaned his chin against Izuku's head, soaking in the feel of his warmth, the gentle sweetness to his scent.

"Promise me! Promise me you'll come back!" Izuku begged. Katsuki's fingers idly smoothed down his hair, offering what little comfort he knew to do.

"Alright I promise, I promise. Jeez…it's just a year in America Deku. You act like I'm going off to war or something," Katsuki mumbled, though he knew he needed to hear it just as much as Izuku did.

He wouldn't be gone for long.

He wouldn't be gone forever.

He just needed to do this on his own, win or lose.

"I love you."

Katsuki's throat ran dry as those words tumbled out of Izuku's mouth. He blinked a few times to reset himself, as if he might have heard it incorrectly before realization finally replaced the tunnel vision. Of course Izuku loved him. They had been friends since they were toddlers, they'd survived a war together, they'd been inseparable even when space was all Katsuki was ever trying to do. He told him he loved him all the time as a child. He was always saying how amazing he was, how incredible. His 'Kaachan'. It had only stopped because Katsuki had threatened to kick his teeth in if he ever said it again.

He hadn't meant it, hadn't really wanted him to stop, but he couldn't say that now. Izuku deserved thousands of things to make up for how he'd overreacted as a middle schooler, but lame half-assed excuses wasn't one of them.

"You love everyone," Katsuki gently reminded.

Izuku's hands somehow grew tighter, more feverish, his knuckles flashing black with the aura of his power. Had they not been in the middle of an airport Katsuki was certain he'd be using One For All to close the pinprick of distance between them.

"I mean it. I love you Kaachan," Izuku sobbed, words as messy and choked as his face. Katsuki didn't dare lift Izuku's head away. He knew he couldn't handle whatever expression lay upon it.

"Yeah, yeah I get it. Me too I guess, now stop crying you're gonna get snot all over my shirt," Katsuki lectured, allowing his eyes to close as he whispered the words into Izuku's hair. He allowed himself a slip up, allowed his lips to graze against the top of his head before he replaced it with his chin. The airport was quiet, empty, still in a way that made it feel they were the only two people in the world.

Izuku's sobs mingled with laughter but his grip didn't loosen. The fear of letting him go, of giving any inch of space was riddled within his form, muscles tight, ready for a fight that he knew he had no way to win. Eventually he would have to secede. Eventually Katsuki would have to push him away. For now though Katsuki didn't force him. For now he rested his head on top of Izuku's as he cried, the reality of it all coming down in crushing waves. For now Katsuki waited, not daring to be the first one to let go.

He had time.

A/N:Hello everyone! I actually wrote quite a few chapters of this story before the final chapter and epilogue of the manga were published and after learning that the canon completely derailed what I had plotted I had plans to just completely shelve it. My goal was to write something completely canon but after mulling it over I figured that the story was good enough that I didn't want to give up on it. So, if you want specific timelines the story will probably follow up to season seven and then things are going to diverge from the canon to this alternate 'what if' ending.

As Izuku is a teacher there are a few new students that will be OC's will not be the focus or bulk of the story though, as most of it will follow Izuku and Katsuki outside of UA. Beyond that, I'll try to keep updates timely, and I hope that you enjoy!