(A/N: Hey, this is a fic I worked on while I was homeless. It's already finished, so I just need to upload it. Lemme know what you think.)
"I'll wait, I'll wait
For you, it's never too late
Skies shelter your face
Then crown you the moon"
—"Forever" from You Will Never Know Why by Sweet Trip
Take someone's place, most people will never notice. Everyone leaves their stuff at the table for a moment to go grab something else, use the bathroom, go say hi. Most people try to stay close enough to avoid their stuff getting taken, but there's a critical flaw. They always leave that space behind them.
When someone steals belongings, the solution is to chase them down, take the belongings back somehow. It's a pain, but it's efficient. Exploration Teams make a living doing it. It's taxing, but simple.
Getting a life back is harder.
There's a plate at the table you're sitting at. You're taking your sweet time before taking your first bite. You aren't talking to too many people since you don't know them. Maybe you're the only one at the table. You get a cramp in your leg, hear someone call your name, so you get up. Maybe there's a bite missing when you get up. You resolve the issue, and return to your seat only to find you left the space behind.
Someone's there. You'd taken less than a bite; they finished the main course and started on the sides. You didn't say much to anyone around you; they're actively engaged in the conversation you were tuning out. It's some random person to you, but everyone else is calling them your name.
Isn't it great how much happier you look?
Sure, that kind of heist takes more guts than grabbing and running. There's not a lot out there to counter it, though. Someone drives your car away, you try to go find it.
When they're just sitting there in your car, what are you going to do? Fight back? That's assault.
Someone's always there to fill a gap. Every step taken is a space left behind that someone else can fill. Some people walk right along behind other people, waiting for the moment when they turn back and see that they can't anymore. Some do it for the thrill.
Some do it because we didn't have another choice.
"Fool me, fool me
You're cold and severe as the rain
My eyes are forever doomed"
"What can I say?" Mandy said. "I like a girl that can hurt me without trying too hard." Her back rested against the rocky wall that made their strange excuse for team quarters. She'd been there moments ago, flame-tail extending along the curvature before curling in just a bit more at the very end.
"I don't think that's really healthy," Rue said. Her head tilted to the side with worry in her eyes, but she had the beginnings of a smile there. She seemed accustomed to the strange taste of women interested in women.
"You make it healthy," Mandy said. She shrugged and got up to stretch. It was still a bit strange figuring out how to with a charmander's body, but strange in a way that felt so right. Her favorite had to be curling back as far as she could, threading her tail beneath the paws held over her head to feel the stretch all the way through her spine. She was shorter, now, but her spine felt so, so much longer.
Rue watched Mandy do exactly as she'd taught her. Mandy always did her best to put her favorite parts of her body on display as she stretched. Her squat, thick, wide-spread legs that wouldn't protest as much going on all fours, but definitely preferred staying upright.
The light bit of pudge that made the shift from hips to waist more exaggerated. Odd that a reptile would have similar feminine proportions, but Mandy wasn't going to complain. She loved basically every change.
Being this bottom heavy was one of many perks.
Surprisingly, even losing her breasts hadn't bothered her much. It was distressing at first, but even without mammaries, the fat distribution was enough to leave that feeling of rightness untouched. She let her fingers brush against the smoother, cream scales of her belly and chest as she brought her paw across her chest and lifted her left leg as high as it could go. There was something so wonderful about a pale, soft belly.
It was quite a sight to see, too. She looked shamelessly over to Rue with a grin. Rue's eyes shot away, but that only made Mandy smile wider. "Like what you see?" she asked.
"Well," Rue mumbled. When she looked back, it wasn't quite the bashfulness Mandy hoped for. It was a genuine smile, though, and that was significantly better. "It's really nice to see, if I'm being honest." She looked Mandy over with curiosity, but landed on her expression. "I'm just glad you're looking happy, now."
"Now?" Mandy asked. She'd been ecstatic about this change from the day she woke up on that beach.
"Yeah!" Rue said, practically cheered. It made Mandy's heart flutter to see her almost childlike happiness. "I know you've been struggling to handle the shift from human to pokémon. I never expected you to start enjoying it!"
The film was there again. It coated the room invisibly, yet Mandy could see it. She felt the space around her, around Rue, around the room. She was rubbing right up against it. The wrap came around every part of her body she loved and squeezed it ever so tightly to remind her the role she needed to fill. Every comfort was contingent on something. What? She didn't know.
"I guess," Mandy started to say, stretches losing steam, "No going back, right?" The film told her heart to crush itself. This was a sad reality, regardless of how she felt about it. "I should enjoy what I can."
Rue smiled. She conformed perfectly to the film without even trying. "Wow, I never really thought of it like that!" she said. That smile was so perfect that Mandy wanted to commit it to memory. "I hope you can find a way to feel at home here." She never knew how long she had before the air around her would decide to suffocate her.
"Thanks," Mandy said. She smiled. The film faded into the background as it always did when she focused on Rue. She looked the other girl over and took a breath of relief. "I think I will." It was perfect. "As long as you're—"
She should've seen Loudred coming. Failing that, she should've known that he came around this time like clockwork by now. She couldn't even tell what he said, the asshole. All she had was the ringing in her ears letting her know that it was time to get up.
"Urk. Good morning, Mandy," Rue said. They'd been awake for an hour. An ongoing joke. It didn't matter. It was nice.
"Yep," Mandy said. She got up, rubbing the lack of ears on the side of her head. Those elegant little holes were so much nicer than weird, funnel outgrowths sticking out the side of her head.
It was a comfort as they got up together. She stepped around the hay, and Rue took her spot behind. Mandy walked along, right to their next obligation, perfectly timed to match that film of belonging so she'd be allowed. She lived in a body she belonged in for the first time, but every wish had its punishment to be granted.
The body was hers, but the world wasn't. She didn't belong there, but she could cope. She could conform, she could fit perfectly if she just kept her head up like it was supposed to be. The world had started turning long ago, and some force had dropped her onto its surface.
Mandy had to keep up. She didn't have another chance after this one.
This chance wasn't even hers.
The guild cheered around her, and her voice joined them. Mandy couldn't afford the slightest slip up around him. The film was thickest when she was around Chatot. She knew his type, and he knew hers.
Mandy kept her smile relaxed and casual as he called them over. He always called them over. She couldn't stand hearing a single word out of his mouth, but the film tightened around her throat when he looked at her. He had the two of them on a tight leash, and the space around her was a constant reminder of why.
He belonged. She didn't.
He knew.
"Okay, you two," Chatot said. He had a smile, friendly as could be. "You've been doing great work recently." The encouragement threatened to seduce Mandy into a breath of relief. "Do jobs on the board today."
"Yes, sir," Mandy and Rue said in unison. She was eternally grateful for the opportunity this guild had given her and Rue. She wouldn't have been able to find someone else's place in the world to take without it. As it was with any kindness, though, the carrot was a stick.
She was grateful, so she'd endure a night without food. It was the opportunity of a lifetime, so she made sure to look happy about it every second of every day. They were generous, so she was obsequious.
"What do you think of this one?" Rue asked. She pointed up at a paper on the board with eager anxiety.
"Let's see," Mandy said. She reached up to grab it, feeling the air around her paws stop its resistance as she stopped hers. The mission was marked as difficulty level B, the slightest bit of a stretch for their current rank. It was adorable. Rue so desperately wanted to push herself to do the bravest possible actions that she could handle. Mandy wanted to say that she didn't need to, but in a way, she could tell Rue did.
"Sounds good," Mandy said. Rue took an adorable breath of relief at the affirmation she could do it. "What else is in Drenched Bluff?" She looked around the board, taking a step closer to Rue as she did.
Rue reciprocated, taking another step closer herself. For some reason, Mandy's presence calmed her, but she never had the confidence to ask for comfort first. Rue wanted so badly to show she could be brave, but did she really think that meant she had to be strong alone?
It was so cute.
"My eyes are forever doomed
To cry over you
You're forever cruel"
"Yeah, sure," Mandy said, patting the kid on the back. She stopped listening after hearing about the sick mother, but the two brothers were cute. "I'll keep an eye out for it." Something about some lost item. It was all so very sweet. "Good luck!"
Mandy, however, needed to haggle Kecleon down into a price for that Twist Band so she could afford it. She was sick of her attacks randomly weakening to half or worse. Everyone was too busy (rightfully) helping out the struggling brothers, though, so she didn't mind waiting her turn too much. Hopefully, if she was helpful to the kid, Kecleon would side with her a bit more.
The two brothers said their goodbyes and headed out with their bag nice and full of what they needed. It was all nice and dandy, but just as Mandy turned to continue haggling with Kecleon, disaster struck.
"Yowch!" Azurill screeched as he fell. It wasn't much of a fall, considering his height, but it was enough for an apple to fly out of his bag. For being an accidental fall, it jettisoned the apple out for him with incredible efficiency. It bounced once, then flew through the air.
Mandy dropped down just slightly to catch it, trying to keep soft paws so it didn't bruise any more than it already had. In an instant, though, she saw a couple pebbles lodged into the side. Tarnished, not ruined.
She dropped it into her bag and tugged out an imperfect replica before Azurill had even pushed himself back up. He hopped around and waddled right over to Mandy already holding the apple out for her with a smile. It was easy, the obvious right thing to do, so she did it without thinking. She probably couldn't have given it a second thought if she tried.
"W-we're so sorry to bother you. Thank you so much," Azurill said. Mandy nodded, ready to pass the apple over when Azurill punctured the film that made up her world.
With the slightest touch, she felt it all falling apart around her. It was the tiniest hole in a clearcoat that was small, far too small to see, but it was there. It ripped through the space around her, cutting open the clear film that held her in someone else's place.
Mandy had gotten good enough at following leads that she'd almost forgotten she didn't belong. That barely perceptible barrier between her and her world had fallen away.
It was back. It was strangling her. The manifestation of her missing space screeched in her ears.
Azurill heard it. He saw her. "H-h-h…HELP!" he screamed, a sound not coming from the face in front of her. She could see him smiling bashfully in thanks while he screamed for his life. The sight didn't belong with the sound. Both were real, both were there, overlaid on top of each other like the tight wrap that had clinged to Mandy's lips to block any air coming in.
Mandy pulled back, a thousand questions she couldn't ask running through her mind. Azurill was looking at her in confusion. He'd seen her for the interloper she was; he was looking at her like nothing had happened.
"Is something the matter?" Azurill asked.
Mandy said what she should in her position to keep it. Her world was falling apart around her, but she was in luck. It wasn't her world she was inhabiting. As long as she held herself together in this one, she wouldn't scatter through time like the dust that remained of the identity that came before she adopted someone else's.
The veil wouldn't come back over her, even as the witness turned to return to his older brother. She could still hear his voice screaming from a silent mouth. It was his scream out of time.
Rue was getting her attention. Mandy couldn't stay in this shock any longer. With the utter terror of having it ripped from her, it was a comfort to have the film return to her. It covered her scales and shrank her back into place. As she failed to breathe through its plastic sheen, she could relax again.
"D-did you hear that?" Mandy asked. It was nothing. She needed to pretend it was nothing. Whatever Rue said, she was right. It was nothing.
"Mandy?" Rue asked. "Hear what?" She looked at the Kecleons, but they had no answers for her, either. For each of them, one eye kept contact with the other while they took turns looking between Rue and Mandy. Could they see? They could look two places at once. Each. They knew. The world around her heard what she had, and the world around her knew.
"I didn't hear anything."
"Me neither," Green added. A relief. She just looked insane. They wouldn't have to know. "Did you eat breakfast?" He reached under his counter and pulled out an apple with a smirk. "Here. I'll hold onto the Twist Band until tomorrow, all right?" He rolled the apple over to her.
"Thanks," Mandy said, raising her paw up to receive the apple. It rolled from its place into hers, a peace offering from fate for being well behaved. She smiled, relieved and exhausted. Back to normal. She could go back to normal, the stolen space around her relaxing just enough for her to collapse against its influence. "I'll have the money for you then."
It was nothing. It was nothing.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Rue asked after they said their goodbyes.
"Yeah," Mandy said. She nodded as she took a bite out of the apple. She'd had breakfast, but maybe she was hungry after all. "Just a little bit hungry." The world around continued to turn, so she ran along the treadmill. She could walk peacefully along and leave the puncture wound behind.
"Say! What are they up to?" Rue asked, nudging Mandy. Feeling that rough hide against her scales helped Mandy calm down a bit more, which helped when she turned.
Azurill and his brother (the rillers, Mandy decided) were cheering in thanks for some random guy. His eyes rested permanently at half mast while his nose hung down over his mouth. The drowzee looked nice enough, so they could just let this play out without any intervention and Mandy's beloved Rue was already dragging her over to the bastards.
"What's happening?" Rue asked. Her head bobbed along to share in the rillers' excitement. The three hopped at her intrusion and turned. As he turned, Drowzee's eyes darkened for an instant.
Did they? He was just a guy. Mandy was imagining it.
"Oh! Hi!" Azurill greeted. He'd known them for less than twenty sentences combined, and yet he seemed beyond happy to see them. It broke Mandy's heart a bit to see. That capacity for trust of anyone he saw wasn't going to end well for him, was it? It never ended well for anyone.
"Some time ago, we lost an item that's pretty important to us…," Marill explained, his eyes drifting down in grief just thinking about it. "We've been looking all over, but we haven't found it yet!" After a nudge from his brother, he brightened back up. "Then, Mr. Drowzee came along, and he says he may have seen our lost item somewhere! We're so happy about this!"
Mandy's eyes drifted casually over to the proposed savior. Was he bored? Tired? Is that just what drowzee looked like? He smiled, at least. His expression looked dead in a way only a happy person's could be.
"Is that right?" Rue asked. "How nice for you!" Her smile joined the rillers' in intensity, so Mandy gave it her best shot to do the same. It wasn't much necessary, though, since Azurill was already turning back to Drowzee, smile beaming on his face bright enough to illuminate Drowzee's… nose.
"Thank you, Mr. Drowzee!" Azurill cheered.
"Oh please," Drowzee chuckled. He shook his head, raising his paw to scratch at the back of his neck. "I'd have to have a cold heart to ignore kids in need!" His smile was warm, though there was still some chill over the rest of his face that Mandy couldn't read. "I can't turn a blind eye!" He nodded his head forward. "Let us be on our way to begin our search!"
"Yup!" the rillers said in unison. Mandy took a breath, ignoring whatever faulty alarms were going off in her head. She was just tired, hungry, distracted, whatever. She took another bite of the apple in her paw.
As she raised her paw to take a bite, the same arm collided with Drowzee. His shoulder clipped against the pinhole puncture Azurill had left, ripping the barely healed veil away from her. "Whoops! Excuse me," Drowzee said. As his eyes passed over Mandy, she saw it.
She saw that shift, that rage, that seething distrust beneath the surface as his tired eyes for just a moment sharpened. His apology felt flat as his eyes cut into her. As his smile returned, it slipped.
"That Drowzee sure is nice," Rue said. She was smiling while existence turned its hateful glare Mandy's way. "You've sure got to admire that!" That slip in his smile gently caressed the back of Mandy's head, dragging a finger down her jaw to yank her chin up and look. "With more and more bad pokémon around, it's hard to do good deeds."
Mandy felt her hold slipping, standing perfectly still as she did with practiced ease. If she let her tail rest on the ground, keeping her hindpaws flat, she could stay perfectly upright. She could feel it happening again, a hand coaxing her out of her stolen space. It knew she didn't belong.
"If you keep being difficult, it will mean big trouble for you!" Drowzee said. He was towering over Azurill, backing away; he was walking peacefully behind the two brothers.
Mandy saw terror in Azurill's eyes, staring up at the man who he was skipping around before her very eyes. "H-h-h… HELP!" he screamed as he smiled at his brother. The clear, plastic coating tore for just a moment, and she could see someone else where they didn't belong.
"It would be nice if those cute little guys found their item soon," Rue said. Mandy slowly nodded, waiting for the wrap to come back and suffocate her into comforting submission. "Huh? Is there anything the matter, Mandy?" Mandy swallowed her nerves and forced her legs to comply long enough to turn and face Rue. "Why are you looking so grim?"
It needed to come back. It needed to cling to her lips and block air from entering her lungs. Mandy saw a man towering over a helpless child. She couldn't help herself.
"Hmm?" Rue prodded. She gently rested a paw on Mandy's shoulder, plated paws spelling disaster as they brought air to her lungs. "You wanted to tell me something?" It was a nightmare, her place out of space finally shown to the one person she couldn't let see.
Mandy couldn't say a word.
She told Rue everything.
"What?" Rue asked, just loud enough to draw attention to the bench they were sharing. "You had another dizzy spell?" Mandy grit her teeth as she nodded. Rue's paw gently ran down Mandy's back. "Then, you saw Azurill being threatened by Drowzee?" Her voice dripped with surprise, disbelief. Mandy could only nod again. The interrogation had gone smoothly. Rue knew the truth, now.
"We have to go," Mandy said. Following a prophetic vision from bumping into a stranger was utterly insane. "Now." She needed this to be urgent, but she couldn't put that feeling past her lips. The disbelief in Rue's eyes was the sweetest comfort she'd ever seen.
Finally, the space around her was reasserting its control. She could suffocate in silence again.
"Well, what you described does sound like an emergency," Rue said. Mandy was hunched over her paws. She turned her head halfway in the direction to look pleadingly at Rue. "Well, it's not like I don't trust you, Mandy." Why did she have to say that?
Anything but trust, she could live with.
"This is so eternal
I've become nocturnal
Sleeping my days away"
Mandy rested her back against the wall again, this time to let Rue wrap her left arm. "I didn't know shellos were in that dungeon," Rue said. Her eyes stayed strictly on her work or the ground below, voice dripping with guilt over what was, objectively speaking, not really a big deal.
"Rue, it's fine," Mandy said. She glanced at the bandage Rue had removed and somewhat got why Rue was so upset. Sure, fire types were weak to water, but it was beyond strange to have a spritz of it cleave into her arm. Still, it hadn't been enough to stop her then, and she wasn't going to think twice about it now. "It's just a bit of blood. Nothing serious was damaged."
"I know," Rue said. Yet, as she tied off the bandage, it didn't seem that she did. Her eyes had all the same uncertainty they'd had that first day on the beach. "We still finished the mission, too."
"Yeah, see?" Mandy said. She moved her arm around to check circulation, and it seemed just about perfect. "Nothing bad happened. I just got hit hard." She reached her right paw over to rest on Rue's downcast head, dragging her scaled fingers around to dig her claws into the divot behind her ear. "Honestly, it's my fault. I didn't even think that thing could hurt me."
"That's the problem," Rue mumbled. She curled into herself a bit but wasn't able to pull herself away from Mandy's paw. She pressed her arms over her chest, halfway into curling into a ball. It was so adorable to see. "You're new here. You need someone better to help you get your bearings."
"I've already got someone better," Mandy said. Rue's eyes stayed on the floor while her very kissable snout wriggled in uncertainty. Mandy chuckled and rolled her eyes. No choice, then.
"C'mere," Mandy said. She took hold of Rue's arm, then yanked her over. Rue squealed in surprise, but even with the minor protest of her bandaged arm, Mandy held tight. Her paw dragged down Rue's back while she brought her tail around to trap her further, all the while she kept one paw in front of Rue for her to take if she wanted. After a few seconds, Rue reached forward and took Mandy's paw in two of her own.
Rue was warm in her hold. It was funny that warm had slowly changed its connotation to Mandy as she adjusted to her new body. Thanks to her typing, even someone else's body heat felt cool in comparison, particularly when that someone else was cold blooded.
It made holding someone in her arms much more effective. Rue's biology didn't give her much choice in the matter: warmth was cozy. She basically had to relax in the heat.
She never seemed too upset that she had to, luckily.
Mandy watched the flame at the end of her tail crackle and flare. It was hard to keep herself from staring at it day in and day out. Even without any memory of a life that came before, she knew in her heart that she'd longed for the sight for ages. To finally have it before her, it was too good to believe.
As expected, the warmth had Rue slowly relaxing into her hold. Mandy waited for some tug of social convention to give her the answer of what to do next, but the film didn't come. With a breath, she realized it was up to her what to do and say.
Somehow, that didn't sound so bad.
Rue's claws started running over Mandy's paw. They traced the valleys of the mounds, lingering around the scales that had already started growing more worn than others. A few were tender from Mandy picking at, but she didn't let Rue notice as much. Even without seeing, she could see the short gradient of scales from orange to the lighter yellow, enjoying the feel of Rue tracing out a rough border.
That space she'd taken didn't always feel so restrictive. Sometimes, it was a tight film over every scale, every action, every nerve that left her little to do but hold her breath and wait. In its way, it was comforting.
Times like this, it felt gentle. Her own warmth wove the space around them into a blanket, draping over the both of them. It wasn't her place, she knew that. She doubted she'd ever felt a sense of belonging anywhere, not exactly having an existence that lends itself to lingering, but she knew how to manage. There were always comforts to bring along with you to make it feel cozy.
She might not have a home, but she could make a place feel homey.
"I think you're scared," Mandy said. It was stating the obvious, really—Rue was always scared. "We're gonna do it, though." She had no idea what, but that wasn't important. She poked her claw into the indent between Rue's plates and started gently following a path down her back.
Even between two reptiles, the scales were so different. Charmander and sandshrew both had rough scales on the back and smoother scales on the belly, but that was where the similarities seemed to end. It was probably just because Mandy was a charmander now, but a sandshrew's scales all felt so much rougher than she would've expected. Skin was too smooth, but it was nice to see scales could be too bumpy, too.
It made her feel right.
It was only a matter of time, she knew. She squeezed Rue a bit tighter and waited for the moment to come, watching the nerves in her eyes fading. Mandy could say a thousand words, but they weren't totally necessary.
This wasn't her place, but she didn't care. She felt so right with Rue in her arms that she didn't much mind whose place it was. Belonging wasn't about finding a spot in the universe.
It was having a place next to someone.
After a bit of time, a smile started peaking at the very edge of her lips. Her eyes looked a bit drowsy, too, but she didn't seem ready to sleep quite yet. It was the most peaceful of wars going on beneath her eyelids as they blinked. It was so euphoric, this power Mandy had over reptiles in her care. This heat was such a gift to her, so she was eager to give it back to the world.
"Thank you," Rue said with a sigh. She curled up a bit so she could lean her head into Mandy's chest. They were about the same height, but her stature always made Rue seem shorter. "It's all really worrying."
"Yeah, I'll bet," Mandy said. Before the worries could touch her shrew, Mandy was rubbing them out the back of Rue's neck.
"Time's flow is messed up, so all these bad pokémon are showing up," Rue said. It sounded like nonsense ramblings to Mandy every time someone said that, but she held her tongue. "What could be causing all of that?" Rue's paws retreated from Mandy's to hold themselves.
"Couldn't tell ya," Mandy said. She brought her freshly liberated paw up to scratch at the crook of Rue's neck. Right there, in the border between white and yellow, she could always feel the softest velvet.
Rue relaxed further into Mandy's hold. Eventually, her paws stopped tracing in and over each other while drowsiness took some ground in the war of her droopy eyelids. Hard she fought in the war against falling asleep, and Mandy loved watching the conflict. Even more, she liked to lend a paw to the enemy and watch as Rue relaxed further and further into her arms.
It wasn't yet to be, though. Rue was a braver warrior than she'd ever give herself credit for. Just as her eyelids were about to meet, she shook her head and looked up at Mandy with a smile. Despite the loss, Mandy couldn't help smiling back, both of their happiness bolstering each other's.
"Thanks, Mandy," Rue said. She brought a paw up to rub her eye as a convenient excuse to look away, but that only gave Mandy full view of Rue's darkening cheek. "You always help me feel brave."
"Really?" Mandy asked. She let her smile relax. "I'm really glad to hear that." Her arms tugged Rue gently into a hug that she wasn't in any kind of position to return. The best she could manage was wrapping herself around Mandy's left arm. It was a bit close to the bandage, but Mandy didn't mind.
This time, when Rue glanced at it, guilt didn't cut into her eyes. She kept smiling, cheeks entering a lightly bashful burn. One paw went up to gently brush up against her handiwork. "We should probably start packing orans," she said.
"You're the boss," Mandy said with a shrug. She was happy to delegate the decision. It didn't matter how many decisions she put in Rue's paws since the shrew always looked for validation.
So, the more decisions Rue had to make, the more Mandy got to see her looking up, adorable gleams of hope in her eyes.
Right according to plan, Rue did exactly that. She looked up, wet, hopeful eyes begging for some certainty until they suddenly broke into a beaming smile. "You really want to put that much faith in me?" she asked, voice so earnest it could make Mandy's fangs rot from sweetness.
"Of course I do," Mandy said. She squeezed Rue again and started drawing her paw down Rue's back some more. Each day, each night, she'd experiment more and more to find the perfect places to dig her claws into to milk the cutest squeaks out of Rue. There was a particularly rough patch of scales at her right shoulder blade that Mandy exploited every time after she'd found it. "You haven't steered me wrong, yet."
Alongside the relief, Rue hummed in happiness. She leaned into Mandy's hold, letting her eyes fall this time. Mandy happily received her sleepy head into her… would be bosom. It wasn't completely flat there, though where roundness came from without mammaries, she had no idea. There was something there, somehow.
"I hope we can do good tomorrow," Rue said. It made Mandy chuckle. She said almost the same thing every night.
"We will," Mandy said, her own canned response at the ready. Her paw ventured over Rue, feeling every muscle slowly slacken. "With you by my side, I know we'll always do great." Even with Rue's eyes closed, Mandy saw them beaming in bright disbelief up at her.
It was the most beautiful sight in the world to Mandy. She loved stoking this girl's self confidence higher and higher, but she wanted to be careful with it, too. After all, building a reliable fire takes delicate planning and time. Without a good foundation and just kindling, the flames would burn bright and fast with no lasting impact. All but logs, though, and it'd never catch.
So, Mandy sufficed herself with little sparks here and there. She'd lay a new branch each day, with little leaves and pine needles sprinkled along the way. It took time to maintain and grow, but that bright light in her eyes would make anything worth it.
Her efforts already had fruit to bear, too. Rue fell asleep in her arms every night at this point. No matter where the conversation started, it always found a way to end like this.
Mandy sighed in contentment, feeling her arms drape over her friend. It wasn't all that practical a ritual, all things considered. It wasn't like they could sleep through the night like this, Mandy always eventually having to lead Rue blearily over to bed. With every night, too, she took longer and longer to build up the will to break away from that tranquil sight.
A wind fell in from the window above. It gently brushed against the blanket of Mandy's warmth that draped around the both of them. With it came that gentle reminder of the space around her, the warm sheet that kept her in place.
Yet, at the moment, it didn't feel all that noticeable. It was odd to find that peaceful, especially considering the day's events. She'd had her encasement torn away from her twice, both times terrifying her.
Both times, Rue had been there. Mandy faced the horror of having the place in the universe she occupied torn open, laying her intrusion bare for the world to see. They were the first breaths she'd felt out of sync since washing up on that beach, but both times rue held her place for her until she came back.
It made Mandy smile, though she doubted Rue would ever know the reason why. It was hard to explain the comfort Rue brought her. Mandy doubted she'd be able to make sense of a suffocating peace.
Mandy held up her paw to examine it. The blue moonlight illuminated one side while the orange of her flame flickered and flared to cover as much ground as it could take. It was a peaceful uncertainty as the calm and peaceful night endured the buffeting of her own light. If she looked close enough to the controlled chaos, she could almost see the light shining off the film covering her scales.
On some level, she knew it wasn't really there. She knew this barrier holding her in place was a delusion for her own survival maintained by years of trial and error. Her heart bled too much of a thrill when her scales brushed against Rue's for there to be anything hindering their touch.
However, on another level, it didn't matter. It didn't need to be real to hold weight over her. It was an efficient, precisely designed defense built up over years. Real or not, she needed it to be there.
Which was why it was so hard for her to let go of these fleeting moments each night. Minutes ticked by, maybe even into hours as she watched Rue's gentle breath cause her shoulders to rise and fall. The sight of Rue half curled into a ball etched its way into her mind minute by minute as Rue's scales interlocked with her own. Eventually, Mandy knew she'd watch her sleep all night.
In these fleeting moments, letting the film fall away didn't seem all that bad.
