Forbidden Waters – 10

Keenan Steele clenched his perfectly manicured jawline every moment he was alone. His teeth gnashed so hard that he was sure he'd feel them snapping like frozen skittles as he ground them together during his Monday reviews. Ever since that day outside Jenny Precinct 1, he'd felt as if his entire career had transformed into an embarrassing chore; like trying to walk a pack of wild Rockruff through the woods without falling over and getting dragged through the mud. A constant stream of reports of officer missteps and abuse, grassroots movements sprouting up like weeds flowering into legal bills that would upend department authority, calls for political leaders to consider citizenship for capital labor. Even among all those inconveniences, the most infuriating had to be the fire which flared up in the heads of the fresh recruits. It burned away the authoritative regal foundation he set up for them to become a successful force of stability in the region, leaving him with an army of indistinguishable disgruntled little girls seeking justice for themselves when they should be doing the jobs they were made to perform.

He adjusted his glasses as he read a short and imposingly formatted petition, brought to him by an absolutely humorless Jenny with sleeves rolled up, standing cocked with her hands on her hips, and masculine crew-cut hair bleached and dyed the color of freshly cracked peanut shells.

"Our demands are laid out fairly clearly, I think," she said, with a poker-face so stalwart you could put her in a wax museum and the public would be none-the-wiser. "Can I get a commitment from the department on these? Any of them? Sir."

Steele rolled his shoulders and rumbled in his chest as he exhaled in frustration. He slapped on the personable face that the moment demanded, but everyone in the room that mattered had already peeked behind the Emerald Curtain. "Indeed. Return to duty today and we'll roll out the changes the department can accept next quarter."

The woman's unwavering expression finally caved to disappointment and she sighed, head shaking side to side as she carefully considered what she knew she'd have to say but seriously hoped she wouldn't have to. "Unacceptable. Promises, now, and your signature at the bottom or we're staying in the barracks."

Again his face grated away like a millstone bereft of grain. "Very well, then. I suppose we'll need to reconsider ration allotments then. Feeding a battalion of off-duty officers isn't cheap."

Her brow furrowed and her lips tightened. "With respect, sir, you've had caloric intake at emergency service levels since November."

He slammed his fists down on his desk, knocking a glistening gold pen to the floor and popping open a drawer. "Half the Police force refusing to do their duty IS AN EMERGENCY, JENNY!"

She did not respond at all. After a moment she looked around, behind her, then back to her superior in magnified astonishment. "Oh, sorry. You must have meant someone else."

He huffed as he leaned over and retrieved his pen from under his desk. "Your official designation is Jenny 456."

"And I've told you that I don't give a damn. Sir."

He stood up at his desk, knocking the leather rolling chair back into a tall cabinet menagerie of medals, awards, and trophies. "Fine, Victoria. Here's the deal. I want you and the rest of the other Victoria's holed up in the basement on the FUCKING street following orders or I WILL cut whatever budgets I need to keep the department afloat."

Victoria smirked at his explosive temper. This man always came across as an impenetrable fortress of control in public but when he bit off more than he could chew he always spit and snarled. She just hoped her gambit would pay off. "We come with a warranty, Sir. And if you go any further that warranty is void. Stop feeding us the proper amount and WE WILL call home to let daddy know."

Lt. Steele chewed on his pride for a while, like a mouthful of desiccated grain.

"That is, of course, unless you'd prefer to cut the department's losses and return to sender."

There was no point in putting on a smile for this creature, not now, so instead he slowly wheeled his chair back into place and made himself comfortable. "I'll increase caloric rations by 30% starting tomorrow. It's the best I can do."

She pursed her lips and nodded. "In that case, three more officers on duty is the best that I can do. Starting tomorrow."

He nodded and waved his hand. "Dismissed."

She wandered out at a speed that she hoped didn't seem like a retreat, unable to stand looking at his star-spangled ass. Her hips swayed with the satisfaction that their master was squirming under the pressure she and her sisters were laying onto him. "We'll consider your offer. Then we'll be back with a counter proposal, Lieutenant," she said as her head followed the freshly-starched office uniform that passed by her and took his turn after waiting in line like a good little boy.

Steele rubbed his temple and grabbed a dense stack of papers, barely held together with paperclips and hope. "Something productive, I hope."

Officer Cliffe was a little surprised at the exasperation, but he brandished his trademarked toothy grin, cheekbones accentuated like ping-pong-balls just below the skin, and saluted. "As always, sir. Though I will admit, there may be a significant drop in leads from my department for the next little while; my most productive offender isn't with us anymore."

Steele rolled his eyes as his eyes scanned over the reports like a predator gnawing at a bone for some scrap of marrow or sinew. "Suicides are messy with the press, has their family been informed?"

Cliffe gazed at his boss like he had the right answer but didn't know if it was a trick question. "I, uh. No, sir. Um, no need. His sentence was finished."

Steele took off his glasses, smiling. "That's so… unfortunate."

He nodded in response, swallowing a mouthful of dry air. "Affirmative, sir. William Boltund's last snitch-report is in your hands."

Keenan Steele didn't speak for long enough that Cliffe began to wonder if it really was actually the day to fake a call-in. "Don't call them that, it's unprofessional. Have a seat, Sergeant."

Cliffe's back stiffened. "'Sergeant,' sir?"

Keenan nodded as his attention fixated on the report. "Yes. I'm in need of an investigator and you seem to have your Duckletts in a row. That is, unless you think there's someone else better suited to the task?" He sipped from a use-stained coffee cup reading, 'This Mug Shots' a Double.'

Cliffe leaned back into an antique stained-oak chair with brass-studded red leather cushions in front of Steele's desk. The proverbial hot seat. "Not at all. I'll just need a day or two to give my replacement the ropes."

"Very good. As it just so happens your first assignment is right…" Steele's tongue tied into a knot as he sputtered and choked on a perfect gulp of steaming black coffee.

Cliffe found himself being showered in a fine mist of Paldean Dark Roast.

After a second or two of silent stupefaction, he wiped his face down with a handkerchief from one of his breast pockets, trying his hardest to ignore the fact that his boss seemed to be having a mental breakdown, and then cleared his throat. "Everything alright, Sir?"

Among the long list of unfortunate idiots, one single name sat there, burning Unown-Glyph shaped holes into his retina. That single name among all the others in the report was all it took to finally set fire to the precariously stacked piles of kindling already beginning to smolder in his soul. This report was one of Offender Boltund's best. If it had come from anyone else he would have seriously considered putting them in an undercover role. Despite the broiling disgust he felt for every single pokefucker permitted to keep on stealing air away from the rest of decent society, this pervert's dedication and work-ethic had been admirable to the very end. And perhaps he should have felt worse about his plans to personally guarantee that Mr. 'Boltund' received 24-7 Patrat observation for the moment he inevitably re-offended like all the rest, but pity was for the innocent.

"Emilio Rafael-Estrella Malison, Male, 42," he mumbled slowly, making sure he read it correctly. "I assume there's only one of them in the region?"

Cliffe chuckled, laughing just in case it was an insane joke he didn't quite get. "Most definitely, not hard to track him down at all. Not a single blemish on his record since he immigrated from Paldea with his kid. Seems a little young for his age on record but I guess they just shag it young. Before immigrating he had one juvenile misdemeanor conviction of digital trespass, but you can get away with anything if Sylph needs cheap labor. And yes, I checked every scrap of paperwork. It was done perfectly. Also, we still have an 'open' case for his missing son that's almost six years old. No easy arrests here. I'm thinking Little Billy just wanted to pad out his numbers as he ran out the door."

Lt. Keenan Steele gave Cliffe a very dire look. "This is extremely serious, Cliffe. Are you a fan of League Battles at all?"

"Not really sir. My daughter's got a Mudkip that stays at her mom's place and that's as close as I get to trainer stuff."

Steele kicked open a drawer containing a solid steel lock-box with a bulky démodé turn-dial on its face. He slowly clicked it left, then right, then left again. Then he had to remind himself of a totally different mental trick to remember THIS box's code instead of the one in his office across town and did it all again. "Well, that's going to change today."

He reached out and placed a heavy navy-blue Pokeball with a yellow star on its top and a leather badge flap with a shiny metal emblem of Hoenn's great mountains onto the edge of his desk. The entire thing felt like a joke to Cliffe until this moment, and his hands started shaking. "I'm a little stunned, Sir. I know it ain't pretty to ask, but does this come with a raise?"

Steele shrugged and smiled as his new Investigator wrapped his fingers around the badge and ball. "I want you to consider this the start of a long and fulfilling career with the department. I reward loyalty, Cliffe. Once this dry spell in funding is sorted, you're first in line. Get me some clean convictions and I can personally ensure that you will end up a very comfortable man."

Officer Cliffe expanded the Pokeball and cracked it open after a few seconds of fumbling along its controls with his fingers. Then he jumped nervously, dropping the clam-shelled ball to the floor as he shook his hand to get it out of the way of the azure-colored energy he instinctually thought would burn his skin. What ended up coalescing at the end of Steele's desk was a nervous looking Klefki with a few key-shaped appendages that looked suspiciously like professional lock-picks.

"Kleffffff… kiki?" it whispered, faintly jingling in a way that reminded Cliff of his patrols down the halls of Slateport South, keys on his belt bouncing against his hip as a cadet, watching gaggles of worthless punks rotting away in real-time. Then it jumped suddenly as the situation finally became obvious. "Feee KI!" the thing sounded off, rising to attention with a insufferably cute face full to bursting with officious determination, and then snapped a stainless steel key up to its head in a shaky mock salute.

With a hand practically shaking with nervousness, Cliffe ran his index and middle finger along its head in a comforting stroke. His brain instantly started considering how his life was going to change. Did steel types poop? How often? Did they like to eat furniture? Were Pokeballs always that spooky? How hard was it gonna be to get this thing to trust him? His daughter might know a thing or two, he sure as shit wasn't gonna ask the patrol-boys in the precinct. His daddy had a Rockruff when he was growing up, maybe it was-

Instantly the Pokemon purred in a way that sounded like aluminum wind-chimes on a soft breezy day and happily levitated up to his belt, locking itself to an empty key-clip and hanging there with a dopey look of satisfaction.

"This thing have a name, L.T?" Cliffe asked as he pet its head from his hip.

Steele started filling out some partner paperwork on his subordinate's behalf. " His breeder name is on the Pokeball, ya wimp, but I'm sure we can both agree that 'Jingles' isn't gonna cut it. Let me know what you two decide on and I'll update his registration."

" Us two, sir?" Cliffe asked with an eyebrow raised.

Steele clicked the butt of his gold plated pen and handed his subordinate the form. "Yeah, son. The bond between a soldier and his squadmon is sacred as Shaymin. Give him your utmost faith and respect, Cliffe. Your life may depend on it one day."

The Pokemon soon to be formerly known as Jingles cooed happily on his belt.

"Never a dull moment on the force, is there, Chief?" Cliffe mused, rubbing his fingers along his new partner's little cheek.

Steele smiled and finally managed to arrange all the things on his desk back to their assigned posts. "Don't learn to love things any other way, Sergeant. Dismissed!"

\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/

"Alright, nice and tight. Don't stop too soon." Emil said, caressing Vaporeon's fins and rubbing them like a lock of glistening blue hair.

"Peon!" she barked in response with a loving smile, wrapping her powerful tail around the fat steel chain laid before her.

Emil slid the other end of the length of chain from his shoulder, smiling as he walked away from her. "It's big, you sure?"

Vaporeon growled, lurched forward, and licked her lips as she rolled her shoulders and the bones of her neck popped. "Eeeon, vevion!" she vocalized, wiggling her rear end up in the air and tugging in defiance on her end of the chain as Emil threaded his side through a winch hanging from a modular steel u-frame, looping around his junky economy sedan.

Shhhhhhhhhhlicklickclickclickclick. Snap!

A foot of chain fell from Emil's palm and rattled against the side of a brand-new shimmering chrome engine block, now secured with a spring-jawed hook. "Pull!"

"Heeee, Heeeeon." She grunted and vocalized as her tail tightened fighting the massive weight now in her control.

Clickclickclickclick click click.

"Yea honey, just like that. Pull!" Emil cheered her on as Jimmy grunted pushing the car up onto a motorized lift with his good shoulder.

Nearby, a sweat-stained set of ears coated in matted red and black fur jumped to life as a tired, work-worn feline hissed like a hot iron being doused in ice water. Incineroar lurched up from the mound of cushions, damp towels, and potion residues . "{Excuse me?}" she growled in mon speech, eyebrows cocked as if she were hot on the trail of some unmentionable crime.

Vaporeon scowled and smiled in satisfaction as the chain tightened even more, threatening to cut through her tail as she pulled harder. The winch wouldn't let Emmi's expensive hunk of metal fall to the ground, he was smart like that, but lifting it was a suitable challenge indeed. Suitable enough that she could practically feel Richard's disparaging gaze falling away from them as his inner masochist approved of the situation. "Veeeeeeooooon!" she groaned as she heaved and her claws shattered and sank into the surface of the concrete sidewalk, stuck in like cement screws riveting her in place.

Clickclickclickclick. click.

"Vee Evoi! Beee!" Franklin squealed from inside the hollow motor chassis.

Emil nodded. "Right. Little more, sweetheart."

Incineroar began stomping around the property line towards the gate and leaking sooty gray smoke from her mouth, like a train coming around a hill heralded only by the stack of smoke looming over the crest. "{Unbelievable.}"

Emil nodded, laid his back onto a rolling board, and pushed himself beneath the vehicle. "Jimmy, please wedge the back wheels up by a few inches. Yellow Blocks."

Jimmy gave him a thumb up as he wiped grease from his cheek, gripped the brand new towing-bar secured to the frame earlier that week, and raised the back of the car with one arm. He set the car on his shoulder and placed the yellow plastic wedges where the wheels went, then carefully set it down. His entire body rippled with muscles that had been worked to their limit, and Vaporeon winked at him as she strained against the weight of her own task.

Jimmy blushed, rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, and dropped the car down with a thud earlier than anticipated.

"Careful!" Emil shouted after scrambling around in panic.

Vaporeon stuck her tongue out at Jimmy and winked as she pulled again at the chain.

Clickclickclickclick.

"EEEEVOI!" Franklin cried out, then crawled his way out from under the hood of the car like a silverfish from inside a stack of books, wearing his usual look of naive satisfaction and dressed in fur stained with grease and dirt. With nothing but his disfigured nubs attached to his backside, he flopped down onto the pavement and scurried into the grass where he curled up and waited for more instructions from Uncle Emmi.

Emil jutted one hand out from beneath the vehicle, oily thumb up in approval. "Nice. Take a break, Stones. Standby if I need something," Emil commanded over the sounds of ratcheting and the soft clinks of aluminum tools against steel nuts. "Jimmy, bring tool chest three, would'ja?"

Vaporeon breathed out a sigh of relief. Her tail snapped aside like a bull whip and the chain hissed as it slid across the pavement and laid to rest against the tires of Emil's humble chariot.

"{Explain yourself!}" Incineroar cawed, arriving very much like a storm-cloud after a bonfire.

Vaporeon jumped at the sudden company, but quickly regained her composure and wagged her paw at her. "{What ever do you mean, Number-Two?}"

"{Keep talking like that and…. Gah! 'Honey?' 'Sweetheart?' What ever happened to that mate of yours? It sounds an awful lot like you're-}" the feline incensed, practically shedding sparks like a cherry blossom wilting in the spring.

Franklin perked up and squeaked in delight. "{You've got a mate?! AWWWWW,}" the little mon cooed, crawling his way over to her and nuzzling Vaporeon's side.

Vaporeon shuddered at the unexpected touch. How unfair of the world to make her have to deal with so many miscreants at once. "{What Emil and I have is none of your concern, Cinny. Maybe if you get to know Richard more you'd understand.}"

"{Gah! Don't call me that, Princess!}" she roared back, instinctively digging into the grass in frustration.

Vaporeon winked and stuck her tongue out. "{I think 'Your Majesty' is better, but I'll take it.}" She teetered her head back and forth as she considered the right words for the situation. Bah, how bothersome, she thought. "{Can't you see it? I already told you about him.}"

Franklin pawed at a flake of embers falling from Incineroar's fur from his own forehead. "{OOOOhhh, Vaporeon's got a mate! Kissing, cuddling, and everything?}" he jeered in a childish tease.

Vaporeon put her nose in the air regally, pushing Franklin away as he smooched the air and tried to hug her. "{Indeed.}"

Incineroar folded her arms, peeking back and forth between her and Emil. "{Oh yeah, and who exact…. No….}" smoke left her jaw as her jaw dropped. "{No!}"

Franklin's brow furrowed. "{No?! But Vapeee said-}"

Incineroar leaned forward with claws bared in frustration. "{I KNOW WHAT THE ENTITLED BRAT SAID!}"

Vaporeon opened one eye, glancing aside to make sure Emil wasn't watching, then pressed her paw to her lips and blew a kiss at Jimmy as he returned from lugging a massive candy-apple-red tool chest from Emil's storage shed.

Jimmy dropped the chest and tools scattered all over the asphalt, his face blushing furiously as he suddenly realized he had become the subject of some very intense discussion.

As Incineroar's mind was busy developing a short-circuit, Richard returned to the wooden picnic table placed on the upper balcony of his estate. "Ain't often you wanna chat me up all private like. Whaddup?" he said as he guzzled from his signature milk bottle that had been washed out and filled with tap water.

Jun, who had been up all night considering the words she was about to make, sipped from her convenience-store coffee as she looked away from Richard's distant shaded gaze. "Yeah… so… I… Aaaaah, Richie! Why do you gotta look at me like that!?"

He cackled and took a massive swig from his bottle, wiping away the dopey slack-jawed expression he made as he waited for her to speak. "I like seen' my favorite folks squirm, cuz."

She huffed and crossed her arms into the plush sweater she was wearing, emblazoned with a chibi baby Magmar drinking from a bottle. "Take this seriously, Rich."

"'Aight, 'aight. Dad's gone and Em's busy strappin' a deathray to his car or some shit, what's got you so worked up?"

Jun looked out at the scene unfolding on the side of the suburban sea. Incineroar gawked at Jimmy, leaning over in an exaggerated puking motion, and then stomped back off to the mound of wet blankets she was going to have draped all over her as part of her desensitization training. She peered longer, watching Franklin chirp in delight as his ears twitched from Emil's voice, nuzzled his way through a heap of spilled silver shapes, and then scurried back to plop a ratchet into his Uncle's greasy stained palm.

She smiled in a way she never had a reason to before. "Well, I was wondering if… um…"

Richard's eyes didn't miss the look she made at the scene outside. Then he rubbed his chin and nodded sagely between swigs of H20. "Hmmm, yes. The mighty 'Um.' That's a timeless mystery, cuz."

She glared in disgust at her older cousin, considering a momentary break from her vow of pacifism.

He laughed and choked at the same time, coughing as a little bit of the water he'd been chugging made its way down to his lungs. "Haaa. Gack. Hahaha. You got the hots for Em, don'tcha?"

She jumped in her own seat and grabbed at her chest, blushing furiously as her eyes wandered back to the window as she pushed her middle-school-librarian glasses back up onto her nose. "Gods, Rich, was it that obvious?"

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, then his face actually softened. "Yeah, seen your eyes glued to his glutes when ya should'a been focusing an' trainin' yer team. Not that there's much there ta look at with that scrawny Paldean ass of his."

She peeked back and forth between Richard and Emil. "It's not that bad."

"Hey, tea-n crumpets ain't my cookies-n-cream but that don't mean it ain't tasty to someone. Em's good folk, the best folk even. But I gotta say I'm kinda confused. Why you asking me about all this? Not sure I can give you good tips to get into his bedroom, unless ya know how ta turn yer skin blue."

Jun's head tilted and that look of disgust returned. "What?! Is he rea-"

Richard cackled and waved his hand around like a swarm of flies had suddenly smelled something foul around him. "Nah nah, I'm jokin', cuz. But as far as I know the only lady that's stayed with him is Vaporeon, and that's just because she's more or less adopted him as her trainer. No sense in telling her otherwise. So, I guess if you want the top spot on his belt, there's your best bet."

She shook her head. "No! No…. I, um… I just wanted to know if it was ok for me to… y'know…"

Richard groaned and popped his knuckles. "Seriously, Jun. I just joked that Em was takin' my Pokemon home to learn where eggs come from. We're past prudish."

Her cheeks puffed out in frustration and she folded her arms as she drew the interpersonal energy needed for this one thing. "Gah! Dammit, whatever Richie. Can I date Emilio or not?!"

Richard's eyebrows raised and he made a tiny frown that practically dropped to the bottom of his chin. "Wha? The hell're ya askn' me for? He's a big boy."

She sighed and gazed at the scene unfolding once more. Vaporeon played with her Franklin by launching him like a squealing fur-missile into the air and catching him as he fell to the ground. Emil fist bumped her Jimmy after helping him realign some uncooperative bit of car frame. "I'd ask his family but… Emil doesn't talk about them. I've tried getting him to open up about it, but he always redirects or stops talking. It doesn't seem right to just… It's tradition, ok?!"

Richard put his palms up in surrender. "Yeah, yeah. I getcha. Listen good, kay? I'm gonna tell ya somethin' Em's only laid on me once and don'tcha dare say I passed it on, y'hear?"

She held her breath in excitement and nodded, barely sitting in her seat.

Richard rolled his shoulders again. "He didn't tell me much 'bout it, but when he moved here he did it with his dad. His mom and his sister are back home I guess. His old man, well… He's not here anymore, cuz."

She gasped in a way that she tried to conceal as just an inhale, but it was unmistakable. "What happened?"

Richard shook his head. "Dunno. Won't tell me or anyone else. He did say this, though, when he got a little too sloshed and let his lips slip. That house of his was passed down to him and Em ditched school to work n keep the house. Doesn't even have a primary school degree, not that the madman needs it. I know a'lotta his cash goes back to mom and sis too; saw it when I peeked at pop's team tax records."

Jun didn't make a sound. Instead, her head turned down to the floor like a deflated balloon. "Oh…"

Richard put his hands on her shoulders and gripped them tight. "It's ok, Jun. Ya know as much as I do now, 'kay?" He stood up and raised his finger into the air with theatrical authority. "Go now, beloved child, snag thyself a squeeze. With my blessing."

Jun wrapped her arms around Richard with the hug she nailed Emil with when she first arrived. She held him so tightly he was certain he'd lose consciousness if she kept it up but all he could do was smile like an idiot. "Thanks, Richie. You're a pain in the ass, but I love you. Thanks for being here for us."

Richard leaned into the hug, knowing she'd run out of strength eventually. "Good luck, blue skin or not."

Outside, sitting atop the aft of Emil's Aron, Vaporeon raised one paw up high in the air as she slowly licked her thighs clean of a few streaks of filth. She peeked one eye open as Jimmy walked by, lumbering along with the tool chest, freshly reorganized, balanced upon his good shoulder. She smiled and hummed in a sultry way, stretched out in a way that showed off everything but the naughty bits she saved for Emmi, then whistled and clicked like a Finizen calling for a mate in the deep ocean. She looked around and ensured all she could spot was Emil's boots sticking out from the undercarriage. "{Heeey. Can we talk for a minute?}"

Jimmy turned his head and immediately a bead of sweat started to form on his brow. "{Hehe… y-yeah. What's up, Miss Vaporeon?}"

She wrapped her tail around her flank again as she sat up, flared her fins out on full display, and purred. "{Set that thing down and come over here, big guy.}"

He looked around, hoping to Arceus someone, anyone, would arrive to rescue him. But Jimmy, not raised to be an impolite mon, gently plonked it down with a hollow metallic thud and the jingle of tools with one hand and tepidly approached her throne. She leaned forward, smiled, and gazed into his eyes and immediately he was paralyzed; not with fear or lust, but anticipation for what this absolute monster of a mon was going to say to him. He'd bulked up to an incredible degree since Richard had been guiding his master, but he had absolutely no illusions about her ability to twist his head off like a soda cap.

She stroked his cheek with her tail and he shivered at her touch. "{You're so cute.}"

"{Aaaah haha, um. T-thanks.}" he responded nervously, holding his own cheek as if he was making sure he wasn't dreaming.

"{I was wondering if you could help me out with something, Jimmy.}" She hopped down and cantered about, traced a circle around him like a hungry Sharpedo, and then her tail slid around his body like a boa getting ready to crush a helpless Deerling.

He shuddered at the tiniest touch and wore his fear like cheap cologne on her nose. "{M-me?}"

She smiled coyly and rubbed her cheek against his one existing arm. "{Only you. You see, I've got sooo sooo many males bothering me these days. Every day it's some mon-grel-else sneaking up hoping to get a piece of this.}" She stopped with her rear in front of him and smacked her ass with her tail. "{I'm sure you understand. I bet you've got a line of gals wanting to walk away with an egg or two. Those pectorals speak for themselves.}" She said and winked as she curled her tail around his torso and rubbed his chest.

He was hopelessly trapped, and the only way out now was to play the part he'd been cast for. "{Haaa. Oh, um… well. I suppose. Hehehehe,}" he chuckled, his breath bouncing to the rhythm of his heart that was desperately trying to smash its way out of his chest and escape whatever horrible trap this was. "{But, um… I'm not sure how I can help. N-not that I don't wanna, or anything.}"

She giggled and sat her bum on his foot, tail curled around him and rubbing her face against his nubby-armed side. "{I know it's a big ask, handsome, I'm really sorry, but I'm saving myself for the right mate and considering you've never looked at me like I'm the catch-of-the-day, I figured you must be too. I thought that maybe we could help each other out.}" She nearly rubbed her whole body against him as she laid paws on his shoulder and clamored up to whisper at the side of his head. "{Pretend to be my mate, Jimmy. I'll pretend to be yours. You do that, and I'll owe you a favor in return."} She let her claws poke out and tickle his skin. "{ Any favor you want. Sound like a deal?}"

His chest quaked at the contact, but something struck him. "{J-just pretend?}"

She nodded and put one side of her tail fin up to her lips. "{Yep, but keep it between us two. Gotta be a secret or it doesn't work, see?}"

Jimmy gulped so hard he thought he might swallow his own head. He was terrified of the prospect, but the very real value of a favor owed to him by such a powerful mon kept him in the game. "{Y-y-yeah. Yeah I… I'll do do it.}"

Krrrrrrrrrunk THUD The vehicle echoed as it lurched to one side and several tools fell from the top of the cabin.

"OOOW! AHGH FUCK! Um… Help please! Help help help!" Emilio shouted from beneath the car, legs twisting and wriggling around as he dealt with the pain of the horrible milled-steel deathtrap he'd gotten himself snagged in.

Vaporeon gasped and immediately stripped herself away from Jimmy. "{MY EMMI!}" she screamed and then scurried up to look beneath the car in horror. "Emmi, you ok?!" she squealed, darting back and forth with her butt in the air to see if he was still moving.

Emil groaned and gave her a shaky thumbs-up. "Aaaugh! Lift the car, someone lift the car back up! My hand's stuck!"

Jimmy nodded and reached to grab the frame but Vaporeon wedged herself underneath before he could even blink. The entire thing rocked and buckled but eventually she let her mostly-water body morph into the tight space, then she bore teeth. "{I'll get you out. I'm coming, honey.}"

If Jimmy had eyebrows to raise, one would have practically bounced off his head.

The front end she crawled under suddenly jumped as she growled, dug her claws into the asphalt, and stood with the entire weight of the car's engine compartment resting on her shoulder blades. She bit down and ground her jaw as she stood on her hind legs and snarled, digging her front claws up into the steel bulkhead above her, bending and punching holes into the frame. Then she coiled her tail up beneath her like an industrial jack and roared with a bestial fury as she straightened her tail, veins bulging and muscles tearing, throwing the car up so hard it leapt and came back down onto her paws with a thud.

Emil was yanked upwards and hung there with a look of surprise, his hand still caught up in the guts of his vehicle as her upper limbs quivered. "Rolycolies, sweetie! Thanks! Um, ah… aha!" he grabbed a wrench and jammed it up into the thing to pry himself free.

Vaporeon huffed over and over for air and gave him a confident toothy grin, straining but sustaining, and then winked at an abjectly terrified Jimmy while Emil scrambled out like his life did indeed depend on it.

"{Deal.}"

\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/

Iseas Samuel Cress stood before the conference goers like a cloaked white-eyed shadow with a tiny black imp on its shoulder guarding the exit to a dungeon, glasses glowing with a bright empty light. Behind him was an motivationally stylized propaganda image of two humans in the foreground wearing futuristic body suits at a picnic table on a hill. The scene overlooked a lush stretch of plains, gardens, crop fields, and clusters of shimmering chrome buildings that jutted out like colossal clusters of hexagonal crystal pillars. Emolga, Pikachu, Lucario, Lopunny and Kadabra wearing sleek and stylish white and gold collars appear to serve them and other human masters in the background with expressions of exhilaration and contentment. In the very furthest reaches of the vista was a crown of gorgeous snowy precipices, the sun cresting their peaks like a shining royal gem.

At the bottom, in a flourishing custom gold font, read the words, 'Edin, the home Humanity deserves."

Deafening silence had overtaken the Nihonium conference suite. Executives from dozens of massively influential companies from all over the globe had made holes in their 'busy' schedules to sit around the massive marble table and witness his grand presentation. Some of them, Lechonk-faced blobs adorned in five-piece suits, designer shoes, and mastercraft watches. Others, miserable wrinkly twigs with wrought-iron scowls that could only be cured momentarily with yet another insanely-exploitative business maneuver. Even more, perfectly sculpted mannequins with omnipresent pearly-white grins that belied the existence of a soul beneath the flawless walking shell they inhabited. The net worth of each specimen eclipsed the collective material means of every working man and woman in any city you could possibly pick that had traceable metrics. Yet despite their fervent clamoring for top financial Houndoom in society, their faces were all equally washed away in reflections of the glowing powerpoint slides that unveiled his life's work.

Applause broke out. Meaty appendages slapped against themselves in enthusiastic approval for the pretty pictures and catchy slogans Cress had just inundated them with. Hidden deep within the labyrinthine cavern of his mind, every one of these rotten parasites made him sick to his stomach. Not a single one of these wretched creatures deserved to smell the crisp, misty, virgin air of Edin's shores, but their vast resources were absolutely necessary if his wildest dreams were to become the sane sober reality he envisioned.

Nothing beautiful is made without foul labor, he thought to himself as the lights flicked back on, restoring the natural order everyone in the room was familiar with. Behind them, standing attention with proud looks on their faces, were all the top scientific fellows in Cress' organization. Even Aolani had been forced to change into a brand new pearly-white lab coat. A glistening hand-cut Jhoto Jade pin shone on the right breast pocket, stylized in the traditional double helix of Jadelabs for the occasion. That didn't stop her eyes from darting back and forth along the room in her usual paranoid fashion, nor do a thing about her indolent posture.

Indoles, perched on Cress' shoulder wearing a cute little white backpack, leaned up toward the man's ear and nuzzled his cheek. "Masterfully done, father."

A portulent fellow with a thousand-dollar comb-over stood and addressed the room. "Dr. Cress, what you propose is not just revolutionary, it's completely earth-shattering. Not at all unexpected of an team with Apogee's pedigree, of course, but I'm left wondering if all this is just a giant inedible pie-in-the-sky."

A mummified woman wrapped in silk and gold jewelry raised a spindly hand, encrusted with long, perfectly manicured, ruby-colored nails. "Indeed. The sum you say you require for this project is… astronomical, quite frankly."

A bright-eyed doll of a man piped up. "Astronomical is fitting; the budget outlined is on par with the Kanto Space Institute's projected budget… for the next ten years!"

Cress smiled for the first time in five long trips around the sun. "Phases one and two are already complete. The land has already been terraformed and primary infrastructure is already in place. The ecologies therein are verified stable and self-sustaining. You'll find everything you need to sate your speculation in these confidential data packages. Indoles?"

Cress' partner leapt from his shoulder with a joyful trill, unzipped the backpack, and then began prancing along the table in a wide circle as he hand-delivered a flash drive to each attendee.

All the investors gasped or mumbled at the Doctor's prodigal declaration.

"Unbelievable."

"Extraordinary."

"…Call Finance."

Cress' hands interlocked behind his back. "Sylph Co. and Apogee Research have hand picked each of your esteemed organizations to support this project because you are the undisputed leaders in your prospective industries. On those drives are the specific details of the commissions we require from each of you needed to make this dream a reality. Non-negotiable. Everything outlined within is essential to the project's infinite longevity. However, if you wish to provide additional resources… our organization would be infinitely grateful."

The fat man nodded and pursed his pudgy lips in approval. "Very well, good Doctor. Just one last question from me that I'm sure is on everyone's minds. Just what exactly is the process of selection for entry into this grand utopia of yours? Considering the long-term threats to humanity you have expertly outlined to us; how do, say, my family and I ensure we have a place in your chrome spires?"

Cress growled in disgust deep in his soul, but his face remained steady as a granite slab. "I can personally ensure anyone in your esteemed organizations will be provided a guarantee of citizenship. I trust that your internal selection processes have collected only the finest individuals society has to offer?" He meant none of drivel that oozed past his lips, but such was the nature of his loathsome work.

Indoles finished his deliveries and chirped in delight as he hopped back onto his master's shoulder. "The deadline to sign your individual agreements is by the end of the Q1. Pokemon all over the globe are becoming more feral and inhospitable to mankind's presence by the day. The project will move forward regardless of your decisions, but we can guarantee its success with your help. Thank you all very much for your immense generosity," he said as he bowed low in a manner of respect reserved only for the wisest of elders. Even Indoles was surprised to witness his father like this; so much so that he bowed to them as well. "Now, if you'll excuse me. There is a great deal of work to be done."

A fresh faced woman in a white suit swaggered into the conference room and began guiding everyone out. "We hope you all with stay for the banquet we've arranged. Alola's own Chef Mallow has been booked for the occasion and we can guarantee it will be an unforgettable dining experience."

Cress practically ran from the chamber, but stopped momentarily at the exit to address one of his fellows. "Dr. Inoue, a moment of your time. I have something important to discuss with you."

Inoue's shoulders were stiff as a board until that moment. His head turned and he gave Cress a cheerful, neighborly smile. "Of course, Doctor."

They silently marched their way down the black and white carpeted halls of Apogee's corporate headquarters and stopped at Cress' business suite. Everyone in the room knew that this was one of exactly three different times Dr. Cress had chosen to use this space for anything other than storing stale air. Only one thing sat conspicuously amidst the corporate tomb. The massive stack of papers was neatly held together with threaded binding with the front page reading, 'Apogee Intelligence Division – Talent Assessment, Mauville Municipal Government. CONTENTS CONFIDENTIAL"

Inoue made his way to a corner of the room where every exit and window was visible to him, looming there, smiling like a Murkrow on the branch of a long dead Elm tree. "How can I assist you, Doctor?"

Cress picked the document up like he had a hundred days of reading to tackle and a day to do it in. His eyes flickered back and forth across each page with only a few seconds between turns. "Reaction?"

Inoue's eyes blinked slowly. "Rhythmic."

Cress turned the page twice before he continued. "Crypsis?"

Inoue nodded as he brushed a loose strand of hair out of his face. "Covenant."

Cress nodded in return. "Sublimity," he said as he frowned and shook his head at the report. Disappointments, everywhere. Hoenn had let their wealth inequality spiral totally out of control. There were so few quality candidates for recruitment in this stack, and every single one of them appeared to have come from some upper socioeconomic class. "Excrement," Cress muttered as he started looking through the public Intelligence tests.

Inoue's eyebrow raised in confusion as he frowned in surprise. "Redemption?"

Cress' head raised as Indoles giggled at his Father's mistake. He cleared his throat and rolled his eyes, "Amnesia."

Inoue's devilish smile returned. "Sublimity."

Cress's eyes stopped on the last page of the report and Indoles noticed right away. "See something interesting, Daddy?"

Emilio Malison, International Immigration Testing Assessment March 5 th 516. Results: Estimated IQ 150+, applied methodology insufficient. Shows remarkable potential in Physical Sciences. Recommend full scholarship to institution of choice upon graduation if admitted entry. Mild undefined personality deficits, recommend ongoing psychotherapy. Current status: Unknown. Police investigations say disappeared roughly September 23 rd 521 and a missing person's report was filed a few days after. Case still listed as open in the Police Department Case Portal.

"Yes. Thank you for waiting, Dr. Inoue. I'd like to offer you a lateral move into our Intelligence Division. I think you'd be a perfect fit for the role of Talent Scout. Would you do me the honor of accepting the role?"

"Of course, it would be my pleasure, Dr. Cress." Inoue beamed with pride at the news.

Cress tore the one single sheet that mattered from the document and handed it over as the rest of the booklet was snatched up by Indoles. "This is your first assignment. Find this young man and report all data to me before contact is initiated."

The mon bounced around the room over to a paper shredder and plopped it down into the machine's hungry gnashing maw. "What now, Daddy?"

He sighed. "One of my least favorite activities… shopping," he bemoaned as he threw his black spring jacket on after removing his lab coat and rolling it up neatly under his arm.

Indoles pumped his paw and gushed with excitement at the news. "Eeeevoiiiii! Thank you, thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Cress rolled his eyes again as Indoles leapt into his arms and then buried himself inside his jacket. "You've earned the right. Let's go."

\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/-\|/

"Vaaaapoooooreoooooooooooon!" she cried out with a jovial smile as Emil shoved them both at full force, careening down the ethnic foods aisle on a speeding Thriftymart cart. Emil hung from the handlebar of the thing, packed with healthy whole foods in clear plastic containers, and she leaned ahead like a wooden figurehead at the stern of an ancient vessel. Emil snatched even more things off the shelves, tossing them within, knowing exactly what he was doing but somehow possessed out of nowhere with an intense childish animus.

"ACK!" Emilio practically choked as he dug his heels into the linoleum. The cart squeaked to a halt, narrowly preventing a headlong collision with a screaming, overweight, Asian lady and the hysterical yapping Lillipup in her purse.

Emil looked at the lady's disapproving scowl, then into Vaporeon's eyes and started laughing uncontrollably. The moment was so infectious that Vaporeon began laughing with him. Practically breathless by the time the lady decided he was hopeless, Emil picked her up and gave Vaporeon a clandestine peck on the lips the moment her back was turned. She smelled of orange poppy and sea mist when she smiled at him like that: sweet, refreshing, intoxicating.

"Aeeoon Eeon," she cooed, laying belly-up, cradled in his arms.

"Love you too," he whispered and nibbled at her frill, causing a shiver to run along her whole body.

Emil had been practically gushing with passion for a month almost. He was so busy getting acquainted with the sensation of feeling comfortable, that he had been blind sided by the even more powerful left-hook that was happiness . He was being as careful as a young, dumb lover could possibly be expected to be under the circumstances, but even habitual risk-takers would have suggested he tone it back a bit. Unfortunately for Mr. Malison, it was just He, Himself, and Nobody Else flickn' switches upstairs.

"Alright, just meats now," Emil said, placing his mate atop a mound of Silac Snackums, packs of trail mix, instant noodles, and Emil's mandatory tall cans of Pecha Tea, 24 pack, Hankey Mankey organic no-additives brand.

His head turned as he caught the faintest sound of a familiar tune he couldn't quite make out as they turned corner to the butcher's nook following the familiar, morose smell of umami and blood. Without any warning he started to feel something twist in his stomach. He wasn't sick, he didn't feel nauseous or dizzy or tired. Vaporeon's smile started to wane a little as she immediately recognized her man's trademark pondering countenance. She wouldn't have to wait long to learn what it was that had Weedled its way into his mind.

[THIS SECTION HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THIS VERSION OF THE STORY SEE A03 OR INKBUNNY FOR UNCENSORED]

"Let's try it!" she said aloud in human speech and turned her head to Emmi.

His hands were shaking as he brought them up to his mouth reflexively in disgust. His innards suddenly felt like they were being dropped from a great height and he couldn't wrench his eyeballs away from the corpse's terminal expression. The butcher, like a surgeon with no need to sew things back in place, neatly pulled apart certain muscle groups or specific portions that were valuable delicacies to certain clientele, and as he cleaned the bones off a separated hind leg…

Emil pushed the cart away, making Vaporeon squeak in surprise as the cart slammed against the front of the plexiglass barrier separating customers from errant spatters of gore. He ran as fast as he could for the front of the store and nearly fell onto his face as he tripped and recovered just in time to shove his way past a couple unfortunate bystanders, and into a bathroom stall where he purged his soul of what felt like decades of sin.

Vaporeon watched in amazement and frustration with her man's rudeness, growling vocally as her tail whopped against and bent the inside of the cart in displeasure. But then suddenly it dawned on her exactly just what was wrong. "{Humans don't eat each other… do they,}" she said to the dead Vaporeon's head as the butcher shook off the surprise and began his work once more.

She leapt from the cart and started sniffing the packages on display. She looked at the prices of all the wax-paper bundles of meat and did her best to keep the cost of what she selected in line with what her nose told her was the best. She tossed them in one after the other, not entirely sure how much they'd need, but she kept them in the upper portion of the basket where children would sit and then knocked on the barrier to get the butcher's attention. "Could you box these, please?"

On the other end of the store, having just been treated to a spa service and an hour at the Pokemon boutique, Indoles couldn't help himself but play with his own fluff as it bounced in his paws like pillowy clouds. He wore a hot pink bow-tie carnation combo on a fabulous bejeweled collar and leaned up against Dr. Cress's cheek in delight as he was carried on his shoulder at maximum speed on the most efficient route to the SINGLE thing he needed from this store.

One bulk package of Q-tips acquired, Cress was mid stride on his route to the checkout line when he stopped in astonishment as he spotted Vaporeon shoving the cart forward with her forehead towards the front where Emil bolted off to.

Vaporeon. Female… Pushing a shopping cart by herself towards the front of this grocery store. Perfect dermal complexion. Wonderful musculature development. Exquisite smoothness of motion. Likely 4 years of age, based on the lack of dimpling in her coloration. Deep purple, intelligent looking eyes. Suddenly all the features started to lock into place in his mind as he cataloged each genetic micro-expression he could spot with his mk1 eyeballs.

Indoles breathed in with excited allure, catching a whiff of her scent. "Daddyyyy. Is that?"

Cress's eyes finally stopped drinking in details and he nodded slowly. "Indeed."

Emilio hobbled out of the bathroom after dousing his face clean in bitter-smelling tap water. He was mortified at himself, but he couldn't possibly pretend that he didn't know what it was that caused his sudden rush of disgust. What in the name of all things sacred and holy was he doing eating meat when he was in love with a Pokemon? His brain didn't stop with that. It wasn't just 'Eeveelutions,' it was… Pokemon were… suddenly a dark and twisted reality that was hidden right in plain sight had been pointed out to him and he knew he was about to make a very uncomfortable decision.

He heard the squeaking wheels of a shopping cart approach him and then Vaporeon draped herself over his shoulders with a cool smile. He smelled… well, he smelled awful. Nothing pleasant about the lingering odor of half-digested Oricorio's tm and milky stomach bile. But he was her Emmi, and no matter what she was going to keep him close and safe. "All good. No need to see," she pronounced, gesturing to the neatly packaged cardboard box with a combined price tag slapped on the top.

Emil blushed, too embarrassed to snuggle her face and mingle his unclean odors with her beautiful scent profile. "Thanks, honey."

She rubbed his face anyway and licked his cheek, fighting back the urge to gag at the smell on his breath. "Aeeoon Eeon."

They finally made it into the one single checkout line open out of twelve, manned by an incredibly anxious looking teenage girl in a dopey red apron trying her hardest to keep the line down to an acceptable level. Everything would have been fine, everything should have been fine, but Emil couldn't fight the feeling that he was being watched. He whipped his head around to spot Cress and Indoles behind him in line gazing at his mate like they were disassembling her body with their eyeballs. Then Emil couldn't help but marvel at the Eevee on the man's shoulder, fur maintained with immaculate care as it was, smelling of Razzberry cologne, and smirking with a smug pride that gushed out of him like a leaking pressure main.

"Long time no see, beautiful," Indoles cooed after a faint lick of his lips.

Vaporeon's head tilted in surprise. This wasn't the first time a mon had flirted with her openly in public, she was used to that, but something about this arrogant little male was- wait, WAS it a male? Looking at that collar you'd think otherwise. She sniffed the air in his direction, her little nostrils opening and closing as she… started growling, flaring up all her frills, and baring her teeth with her eyes wide open in anger.

Emil turned around as the overworked attendant slowly worked her way to the people in front of him. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"Honey?" Cress and Indoles both said in unison. One in confusion, the other in mock surprise.

"I don't say it often, but I truly have missed having such a B-E-A-Utiful specimen back home. You know, if you're open to it I-" he stopped speaking as he noticed her vicious posture was doing anything but letting up.

Cress's eyes turned sideways towards his pet. "Indoles," he mumbled sternly.

Emil grabbed his hair in panic and then wrapped her up in his arms, getting scratches on his arms as she started to snarl in a way he'd never heard. A few nearby mothers grabbed their children and ran from the area and several people backed away, fearing the worst.

Indoles continued on as if his Father's voice was a tiny whisper at the end of a tunnel. She hissed like a viper ready to strike as her claws bit down into his skin and her body started to bend up like a spring. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, your Vocabulary must be limited. Poor thing, ahem, {I'd love to put another egg in you , darling. Our last dance was simply divine .}"

Emil was tossed backwards through a black-wire candy bar display as Vaporeon launched herself from his chest and collided with the insufferable ball of pampered lint. The two Vee's spun around in the air on a ballistic arc across the store as they clawed and bit at each other, careening into an aluminum display of gallon-sized glass pickle jars that instantly collapsed in a thunderous cascade of brine, glass shrapnel, and tasty cucumber preserves.

A woman cried out and people started to run from the store, Cress stood unflinchingly where his Pokemon had been plucked off his shoulder and turned his head, watching with a calm demeanor as Vaporeon snatched Indoles up in her jaws by the neck and slammed him repeatedly into the littered floor like an Annihilape making mochi from a Skitty.

"Idiot," Cress mumbled as he turned his body to watch the scene unfold with less strain on his neck.

"Aaahahaaa, I- aaah – Let, aaaugh, Veee! Veeeeveve!" Indoles screeched, voice constantly interrupted by the sounds of his own body being used to macerate piles of broken glass. His fur was drenched in brine and his own freshly spilled blood as he whipped around and kicked his back claws against Vaporeon's cheek, leaving three deep lacerations that oozed crimson.

Barely perceptible sparks of electric-type energy began to surge amidst the briny mess, crackling and arcing up the shelves as Indoles' fur started to hackle up.

"Vaporeon, stop!" Emil screamed as he leapt up out from under a pile of chocolate snacks.

He stopped with a thud as his chest impacted Dr. Cress's outstretched arm. Cress's eyes peeked over at him lazily with so little concern it made Emil's spine shiver. "Sharp words slice both ways. Don't cut a good lesson short."

"Eeeveeee-e-e-eeeenough!" Indoles barked.

KrrrrrBOOOM! Indoles exploded with yellow light, throwing displays back all around the two of them in the explosion and causing all the halogen lights to flicker and burst from overloading. The emergency sprinkler systems nearby burst to life, showering everything in stale water as Vaporeon jittered and shook, tears welling up in her eyes and smoke starting to billow from awful black burn marks branching all along her gorgeous skin. Despite the pain, she snarled and bit down harder as she wrapped him up in her tail and used the muscle spasming from the electric shock to make her clench down tighter and start popping him like the wretched little zit that he was.

"Duh, kgggh, Daaaady, gak, heeelp!" Indoles cried as more people screamed and ran from the store, covering their heads with whatever they could find.

Dr. Cress towered above his charge, looming like a church gargoyle in a dark storm.

Emil stood in horror, unable to look away, or do anything at all about, his mate murdering someone else's Pokemon in broad daylight.

As life left Indoles' eyes, his fur stopped hackling with electricity, and he went limp Dr. Cress nodded, pulled a white-serialized Pokeball from his jacket and held it out. "Class dismissed," he said and Indoles vanished from her clutches.

Vaporeon's jaw snapped shut and her tail wrung around in surprise. She jumped up, back raised, hissing and croaking in anger at bystanders and whipping around looking in all directions for her prey.

Emil leapt onto her back and hugged her tightly, glass cutting his hands and legs. "Sweetie, stop! It's over. It's over now!"

Dr. Cress listlessly glanced over at a wall and nodded to himself. He casually walked over to an emergency shut off valve attached to the pipe network in the ceiling and shut the sprinklers off. "That's better," he said as he walked back to the checkout line and calmly placed his q-tips onto the belt.

The cashier looked up in surprise, unsure what life even was anymore.

Cress nodded to her. "As you were."

Vaporeon couldn't see anything beyond her absolutely bestial levels of rage until she felt Emil wrapped around her body like a cool wet blanket smothering a fire. She felt hot liquid running along her body from a cut in Emil's hand and she started tearing up as she recognized the smell of his hot terrified blood. "I'm sorry, Emmi…" she mumbled, only now realizing the absolute disaster that was. "I was bad. I'm sorrry."

He picked her up, dripping with bloody pickle juice, and kissed her neck. "It's ok. Nooo noo, you're not bad. I'll take care of it. Just shush now, ok?"

She whimpered and curled up like an embarrassed hatching in her lover's arms.

Emil walked up to both the Grocery store employee and Dr. Cress as the box of q-tips was scanned across the laser scanner.

Emil bowed low, his long damp hair dripping dry as he spoke. "I'm so unbelievably sorry. Team Stone will cover all the damages and more." He shifted his body, head still held low. "I'll take your info sir. We'll make things right, I promise."

Cress shook his head and wagged his hand dismissively. "Nonsense. You've provided a valuable, long overdue lesson to my Pokemon. Apogee can cover any expenses you've accrued in that nasty business." He reached into his breast pocket and withdrew a fancy gold and white business dex-nav with the Symbol of Apogee proudly embossed in the front, with a futuristically-texted A and G that caught the eye, emblazoned on two red circles that sat on a six-starred, blue background. He typed with wicked speed and precision without looking at the device at all. "We've already got Triftymart LLC on file. Mmmm, yes, that should cover the damages. And you?"

Emil looked up from his bowing position. "Me?"

Cress rolled his eyes. "Name and Dexnav address," he curtly hounded, losing his patience with how unbelievably awry his shopping excursion had gone. Then he cleared his throat. "Please."

"Wh…" Emil started, then realized the sort of person he was talking to and just how much luck he was squandering. "Ah. Sorry. E. Malison. One-two-one-eight-eight-six-zero-five-zero-four-five. Here I'll say it sl-"

"No need, thank you," Cress cut him off, having already typed it in as he spoke. "Take this for your trouble, and your groceries."

Emilio's Dexnav pinged with a bank notification asking him to accept the transfer. He reached for his device, flipped it open and his eyes bugged out of his head. "Oh gods! S-sir that's too much."

Cress shook his head, frowning in frustration. In the background the cashier struggled with the keypad on her check-stand. "No it's not, end of discussion." He stopped for a moment, looked away, and then glanced back. "Besides, you won that Pokemon Battle, fair and square. I believe that's adequate compensation." He turned to the cashier. "Please hurry, I'd like to leave now."

Emil chuckled nervously as he started putting his groceries up on the belt too. "Everything ok, Miss?"

She exhaled as if she'd been holding in every ounce of fear, frustration, and anxiety that she'd been pumped full of in the last ten minutes. "S-s-s-sorry, sirs. There's a b-lack screen we'll need to run you manually."

Cress rolled his eyes. "Nevermind, good day."

Emil reached out for him. "Wait, no issue. What's it say?"

She looked at the screen and squinted. "O-Load. S-Lock."

Emil hoisted Vaporeon back onto his shoulders where his queen belonged. "Ah. Good, it's running Sylphsys. On that ten-key pad type three-three-two-eight-four and then hold enter."

"Ok," she nodded, doing as she was told. "Now it says, 'CMD' and a... double dot?"

Cress' gaze, for a moment totally fixed on Emil, turned to her briefly. "A 'colon'?"

Emil waved his hand. "Whatever. Ok, now type seven-three-two-six-six-eight… Oooh, wait wait wait. Mmmmm, O-Load… Press Zero sixteen times too."

As soon as her fingers finished with the last key the thing beeped three times and the screen booted up with the familiar colorful Thriftymart logos. "Nice! Thanks, sir!" She booped Cress's soggy box of cotton swabs and clacked keys in the ways she was trained. "Three-Twenty Pokedollars, sir."

Cress's hands instinctively brought his Dexnav up to accept the bank debit. It had been an incredibly long time since Cress had been metamorphisized into an astonished bystander, paralyzed with analysis. The last time he remembered something like that was at a conference, surrounded by promising young minds, one of them presenting what would become her magnum opus. Yet here he was, soaked like a drowned Rattata in a discount grocery, looking the fool. "P-pay for his too with my info."

She smiled cheerfully as a scene of devastation and frustrated employees cleaning the mess unfolded behind her. "Of course. Thanks for shopping Thrifty!"

"Thanks for everything. I'd better… go…" Emil mumbled, suddenly realizing just how incredibly small he felt as he held Vaporeon's tail tight out of a sense of comfort.

Cress nodded as he folded up his dexnav and slipped it back into his jacket. "No. Thank you . Good day, Emilio."