Katsuki knew he was in trouble, he just didn't know how much. After going rogue and contacting Ochako behind his back Izuku had bricked his cell phone, which meant that if he tried leaving the property or walking past the data block to do research on his own, he wouldn't have a way back in. Normally that wouldn't be a problem. He still hadn't actually gone and seen his parents, and if he didn't feel like listening to his mom's bitching he had other ways to occupy himself. He could get groceries, stock up on the latest issues of Hero Monthly and get a hot lunch; eight to ten hours was a lot of time to kill but he'd been on enough stakeouts to tolerate sitting in one place for a long period of time. The problem came that the phone also controlled the car, which meant he was stranded out here in the countryside until Izuku got back.

There was no telling how far he'd have to go from the property to be able to access his own phone's data, if he could access his phone, so instead he fell into the barely used couch and gave up on the idea entirely. It only took minutes for the unease to settle back in. Though he knew it was useless he tried using his phone again. Naturally, nothing had changed in the few minutes he had left it unattended.

His time on the couch only lasted a few minutes more before vaulting forward and pacing the floor. His body refused to sit still, as if in the past five years of overtime and constant life or death battles it had completely forgotten how to exist without something to do. As he was forced to marinate in the silence of his own making he realized how much of his 'downtime' was actually spent still focused on the job. Everything he had done to relax had just been another way to get ahead, killing hours at the gym, toning and pushing his body before pouring over old battle tapes to try and improve his response time and technique. Even his meals were precise and uninspired, just enough to get him by, to minimize time spent eating or cooking without sacrificing calories or his health.

Which was strange when he actually stopped to think about it. He enjoyed cooking, enjoyed food, but he couldn't think of the last time he'd actually sat in a restaurant without his parents dragging him to it. When had all of it started becoming such a chore? When did doing the minimum required become not just an occasional coping tactic, but a regular part of his life? His mind trickled to memories before graduation, of competitive spars constant challenge.

Not once had he ever thought about doing the same with his agencies heroes.

He knew he often had blinders on when it came to hero work but…when had he stopped…enjoying things?

He growled in frustration at his own thoughts, roughly rubbing his hands through his hair to push them away. He had turned into a workaholic, so what? Everyday he went out and saved hundreds of lives, putting dangerous people behind bars. His personal life had never bled into that, so, who cares if it was a mess? No one needed Katsuki Bakugo to be happy or put together, all that mattered was Dynamight, and Dynamight couldn't be doing better.

Only Dynamight had been taken out of commission, and Katsuki was left to clean up the mess.

Desperate for something else to focus on he found himself resorting to mindless television, hoping if he made it loud enough he'd be able to stop hearing his own embarrassing thoughts. He wasn't sure how long he spent endlessly scanning through the local channels. Despite a few hours of trying he couldn't even find one network that was displaying the current hero rankings, let alone an expose or timeline of his classmates' personal lives over the past five years. The closest he came was some reporters talking about this morning's incident, but the facts were mostly bare, only mentioning the safest routes to take until the battlefield had been cleaned up and a hotline for information on how to file local insurance claims. The lack of battle coverage was off putting to say the least.

America had always been far more focused on hero fights than most, but this was another level entirely. It was like they were ignoring the heroes on purpose, like he'd stepped into an alternate universe, one completely devoid of heroes or villains at all.

Desperate for something tangible he relied on the more gossip filled tabloids, hoping that someone might mention the symbol of peace's messy childhood custody, or, more importantly, who the hell had dug their claws into Izuku while he was away. Instead it was more unverified trash, a hero blooper reel, a top twenty sexiest heroes with accompanying paparazzi shots and rumors heard from a friend of a friend. After the fifth time they cut to a blurred action shot of Shoto flying through the sky, noting his 'particularly sexy expression' he gave up completely, stopping himself just short of flipping the coffee table over as he slammed the power button off.

This was not a good place for him to be, emotionally or physically.

All of this was too much thought, too much space in his mind, a mind that had been perfectly content living in the minimum. He didn't want to accept this reality, the reality that Blaze had forced him off the path to victory to sit here spiraling and that he had no one he could blame for that but himself, the reality that Aizawa couldn't trust him, and that he'd proved him right within seconds of getting home, the reality that Deku wasn't a hero, that he had a house in the middle of fucking nowhere with a room for a kid that looked just damn like him-

Like the kid he'd torn down brick by brick, the kid he shoved in the mud, the kid he'd hit and beat, the kid he'd told to kill himself, the kid who had never looked at him with such fucking disgust as the way Izuku looked at him today.

The coffee table had been tossed by the time he'd calmed down enough to realize what he was doing. His chest was heaving with strained pants as he pushed his hands through his hair, allowing his eyes to close.

Alright. No more sitting down. Sitting down in this sort of quiet was dangerous, and he was getting damn tired of making mistakes.

Instead he returned to what normal he could. He pushed his body until it ached. He ran through as many workouts as he could without access to a gym or a track before taking his chances with the strange weight machine in Izuku's workshop. Thankfully it wasn't under the same protection as the rest of the computers and with a bit of guesswork he was back into his normal training, blissfully unaware of his inner thoughts or surroundings. His blood pumped violently in his ears, dulling even the roar of music from his phone. It wasn't until he began to lose the light from the windows that he even noticed how late it had become. A glance at the time confirmed his quickly growing fear. In an attempt to disassociate he had let the entire day go by, with no Izuku there to greet him.

It was already eight, and though it was possible the man had stayed behind to do paperwork or speak to Aizawa, even adding his thirty minute commute should have seen him home hours ago.

He scrolled through his call and message log. Izuku hadn't said anything after he'd bricked the phone, but that in and of itself wasn't a very good indicator if something had happened to him or not. Izuku was angry, he had no good reason to warn Katsuki if he was running late. The most likely situation was that he was perfectly fine, maybe even going so far as to stay out late on purpose. Even if he wasn't doing it to piss Katsuki off, he knew the minute he got home Katsuki would officially be assigned as his guard dog. He wouldn't have any more days to himself, and, if he really was dealing with some sort of torrid love affair, it was likely he was trying to sort out the details with her before having to involve Katsuki. The very thought curdled his gut before quickly being followed by shame as he realized a villain attack or kidnapping would have almost been preferable.

Not by much obviously, he wasn't a monster, but…

Thankfully his imagination didn't have long to mull over the details as the front lock suddenly clicked open, pulling him from his overblown fantasies.

Katsuki hurried forward, stopping himself just short of physically grabbing Izuku as he walked through the doors. Though whether he had intended to shake him for answers or embrace him in relief he still wasn't sure. A quick look over showed no obvious signs of injury or danger. He looked exhausted, but Katsuki could think of a few good reasons for that that had nothing to do with a villain encounter. At the sight of the shopping bags in his hands he subconsciously moved forward, ready to take them from his hands. It was an out of character show of domesticity that caught Izuku off guard, his muscles tightening even as he offered out the clear bag of groceries, his other hand keeping a more solid grip on the ambiguous black plastic bags that Katsuki was trying very hard to pointedly ignore.

"What took you so long?" he muttered, at least managing to keep his voice calm despite the pounding rush of his anxiety.

"We're going out and I'm behind on laundry. I had to pick up some clothes. And since I wasn't expecting to have any guests over I figured I should restock the bathroom and kitchen while I was in town," Izuku replied, his eyes and tone dull. Katsuki fought the urge to push him further. It took a lot to get Izuku angry enough that he actually had to ask for forgiveness, but it wasn't like Katsuki had any room to bargain. He knew logically the best thing that he could do right now is give the man the space and time to cool back down, but Katsuki had never acted logically when it came to Izuku.

"What's wrong with what you're wearing?" he quipped, giving the black bags in his hand a quick glance.

And maybe that wasn't exactly what he was really asking, because obviously there was a problem with what he was wearing. Izuku was by far not one of the most fashionable people he'd encountered in his life, and today's outfit was no exception. That didn't change the fact that Izuku shouldn't know that, especially since he was the one consciously making the choice to put the clothes on in the first place.

Izuku gave an exasperated sigh, allowing the black 'mystery' bags to fall against the couch.

"...did you even read where Ochako is taking us?" Izuku questioned, raising a tired brow. Katsuki's face scrunched in confusion, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand and not what Izuku was hiding in the bags he had refused to hand over. Because of this focus though it took him twice as long to actually understand what Izuku was saying. He made a quick search for his phone, surprised to find three new messages from unknown contacts.

"No. Why would it matter? It's just some restaurant or something right? Where the hell else would we go-..."

Katsuki physically halted, the bright pink, exploding, glitter e-card glimmering in the reflection of his irises.

"..and there it is," Izuku grumbled, tossing his blazer across the back of the couch.

"You should get changed too. Ochako's not going to give you whatever she's bribing you with if you refuse to play along, and while I don't have a problem with your comfy airport clothes I'm sure she will," Izuku warned, earning a low grumble of annoyance.

Katsuki parted his lips to jump into another tirade only to grow distracted by the progressive loss of clothes Izuku was sporting beside him. He'd thought that his change of clothes would happen somewhere behind closed doors but it appeared Izuku didn't care enough to wait. His body grew flush as Izuku smoothly pulled his shirt up from the collar, dragging it up and over his messy hair.

He didn't know why he was feeling embarrassed, it wasn't like he'd never seen Izuku changing before. They used the same locker room for four years. The medics had cut each of their clothes off more than once after a battle gone wrong, not to mention the shared hot springs and baths they'd visited in their school years. Of course he'd been conscious enough to not actively look at any of his nude classmates, but it didn't change the fact that the act had been more or less routine.

There was something…strange about it now though. He couldn't deny that some part of it felt wrong. Maybe he had just gotten too used to the locker room courtesy in America which conscribed entirely of 'don't fucking look at me and I won't look at you' with the addendum that any accidental glances of nudity would promptly never be spoken of again. Even the idea of an entire family sharing bathwater had earned a chorus of grotesque shivers. He had never had a preference either way, but he found his body quickly turning as Izuku undid the buttons of his pants.

"Alright…that doesn't explain why you have to change though," Katsuki continued, quickly wiping the red from his face "...don't tell me you're trying to score a hook up tonight? Or, sorry, no, maybe you're trying to find a girl who you can have a 'real connection' with at the-"

He squinted at his phone with annoyance.

"-bubble party rave club with special guest, the laundry hero- holy shit, that fucker is actually still around?"

"Give him some respect, he was one of the few heroes to actually fight through the war with us wasn't he?" Izuku muttered.

His short ponytail had come completely undone in all of the rustle, leaving shaggy, unkempt curls hanging beside his chin. It wasn't long exactly, but it was longer than Katsuki had ever seen it. He couldn't help but notice the way it framed along the running scar across his cheek, the way it blended to hide the old and final wound he had received in his last battle with All For One. They'd noticeably faded over the years, but to Katsuki's eyes they were still fresh, still raw and red and bleeding.

His eyes trailed to the myriad of battle scars peppered across his body. There were so many. So many he'd earned protecting others. So many he'd earned protecting him.

Izuku had told him once that the scars had never embarrassed him, he'd never given the look of them much though, but that he felt the need to hide them all the same. Katsuki had understood that better than anyone, his scars the same, perplexing presence. He didn't give a shit that his skin was no longer perfect, or that surviving the damage had left a mark he couldn't be rid of, but it wasn't just a mark, not to him, not to anyone else. The huge slash across his chest was an all too potent reminder of the day that he had died, temporary though it may have been. No one looked at it with objectivity, to analyze the pattern or to marvel at the medical miracle just beneath, they saw his lifeless eyes and unmoving body, his blood and future sinking into the ground below.

Most days the scar gave him the motivation he needed to push forward, to jump towards the next goal and not grow complacent. He had lived. He had died and come back again. He was a warrior, a survivor.

Other times though…

"-and no, I'm not hoping to pull anyone tonight. I'm changing because if I don't Ochako will put me in her clothes instead, and I'm getting too old to pull off a crop top, so, new clothes it is."

Katsuki could feel himself physically short circuiting, his mind eagerly pushing the imagery and absurdity aside because if he didn't they would be there all day. Izuku unfortunately had not received that memo, and was only making matters worse with his small little bunny hops to shimmy into his new tighter pair of jeans. Katsuki wasn't sure when he'd turned back around but he overlooked Izuku with interest. For having no sense of style he'd actually done quite well, the style was more feminine than Izuku normally wore but it accentuated his masculine form well. He'd picked a high quality halter top that accentuated the tone in his arms while modestly covering his chest, his jeans basic but well fitting, jeans that looked strikingly familiar to the ones his parents had brought him last summer. In fact-

"What the hell- are you wearing my clothes?!" Katsuki shouted, hurrying forward as Izuku lazily stretched out his body. He squinted his face like he was offended, though he of all people shouldn't have anything to be offended about. At least Katsuki wore decent outfits, unlike whatever decades old professor Izuku was taking inspiration from.

"...they're not your clothes. Do you honestly think the two of us are the same size?" Izuku fired back and Katsuki didn't have an immediate answer.

That was true. They might have been similar sizes as children but puberty had flushed them out in opposite directions. They could likely share more loose fitting outfits, but something this tight and tailored would be close to impossible.

"They're Bakugo designs-" Katsuki reasoned, earning a curt nod.

"Correct again. Sorry, did you think I went and picked out something fashionable?" Izuku asked before letting out a short laugh.

"Hah! Uh, no. I dropped by your parents' house and asked them for help. They're the ones that styled this for me," Izuku answered, kicking off his loafers before searching through the black bags for his new box of shoes.

"...my parents house. You just….casually dropped by and…what? Told them you needed something to make your butt look good so Ochako wouldn't make you look like a whore?" Katsuki breathed with a bite. Izuku narrowed his eyes as he laced up the short pair of boots he'd been given, the metallic, metal branding 'BAKUGO' written across the side.

"That's really impressive Katsuki. Five years of silence and you still found a way to offend both Ochako and I in just one insult, really, good on you, you certainly haven't lost your touch," Izuku muttered, stomping his other foot into the boot.

"And yes. I went to your parents. We have a very nice relationship together actually. They're incredibly supportive and have been a tremendous help since you've been gone. In fact, we eat dinner together every few weeks, and since they know my job means I'm in the public eye they're always setting aside new things from their collection for me to keep. Honestly I should just hire them as my stylist by this point, it's not like they haven't been dressing me for every important occasion since graduation," Izuku rambled, slipping on one of the coats they'd produced last season.

"...so did you tell them I was back? Since you're all so buddy, buddy now?" Katsuki demanded, crossing his arms along his chest.

"No. Unlike you I don't need to understand why someone is keeping a secret to respect it," Izuku snapped, shooting Katsuki a glare as he swiftly stole back his phone from Katsuki's pocket. Katsuki grabbed hold of his arm before he could pull away, their bodies nothing short of a breaths distance.

"So you admit you're keeping shit from me," he whispered.

"I think a requirement of holding things back is having any sort of conversation to begin with. And not counting today's shit show, you and I haven't had that," Izuku angrily replied.

"We could," Katsuki quietly offered. His expression softened as he slowly let Izuku's arm go. The man immediately recoiled to a safe distance, holding his phone to his chest, like some sort of treasure Katsuki had cruelly ripped away. Katsuki forced himself to swallow as his words caught along his throat, unwilling to say what needed to be said but faced with no other option.

"Look I know this shits not ideal but I'm here now, and things have clearly…changed. I…was impulsive, but we don't have to do anything. Fuck going to this bubble party, the only reason I said we'd go is because I just want to know what's going on with yo-"

"I told you the truth from the very start and you tried to make a fool out of me," Izuku growled.

"Don't get this mixed up. I'm only going along with this because it means I get to have a night out with my friends, friends who care about me, who have extremely busy lives and careers and are taking time out of that to be with me, something that gets harder and harder for us every year. I am not doing this so you can get your way. Please don't ruin that for me."

Katsuki bit back a reply as Izuku dared him to argue. As idiotic as he might be sometimes, he could see the trap laying in wait, baiting him to try and talk his way out of the situation he himself had created. Instead he rolled his eyes and retreated to the kitchen, unwilling to give the man any more ammunition to end him. He angrily sorted the groceries in the fridge before grabbing a clean dress shirt from his luggage. He didn't have anything fit for a bubble rave, nor would he want to, but it was better than smelling like a crowded airport.

By the time he'd gotten presentable someone was obnoxiously laying on the horn outside the property. Katsuki moved to the windows in time to see Ochako pull in from the gate and towards the house. Izuku was already out the door before the car was even put in park. Ochako, equally as eager, through up her hands with a squeal he could hear through the house's soundproof walls. Iida was quick to join them, wrapping both Izuku and Ochako up in an oversized embrace. Within seconds they were all literally floating in the air, though from this angle he couldn't tell if the slip had come from Ochako or Izuku's quirk.

He hesitated, stuck in place at the window, his eyes lingering on Izuku's lips and the warmth his grin exuded, how his eyes lit and sparked as his friends fussed and giggled, playing with the long curls of his hair and patting down the exposed muscles his shirt showed off.

He couldn't deny that it felt…wrong…to intrude on it. So far all his presence had done was turn Izuku into someone his students and friends no longer recognized, someone cold, and hateful. Being in this house, looking down at the people he'd left behind, he wondered if he still had the right to be there with them or if the people he'd once called friends would look at him the same way Izuku had. It was a hesitation he couldn't put words to, knowing that all three of them would likely lay their life down to defend him, without a second thought, but fearing that some piece between them may always be broken. They would never stop being a part of each other, but now that part felt distant, and weak. He was an outsider, someone who no longer fit, a relic from the past now lost to time.

It shouldn't have mattered, it wasn't like he was the sort to rely on others, and clearly the world had moved on just fine without him, but it bothered him all the same.

"Bakugo! Hey! Stop brooding and come greet us!" Ochako yelled, waving with an excited expression as she spotted him in the window. The others turned as well, Iida now giving a hearty wave in turn to try and call him from his perch. Izuku was the only one who didn't seem eager, but he begrudgingly nodded in agreement, motioning for him to come down.

Katsuki gave a small 'tch' beneath his breath before moving down the stairs to join them. Ochako's car was already blasting some overproduced pop from the speakers, disturbing the otherwise tranquil atmosphere. Now that he was closer he could see the small subtle signs of age on his classmates. Iida, who had always tried to make himself seem more adult than his age, had finally begun to grow into it. He was tall, taller than he remembered, with a more modern haircut and pricy glasses. It didn't seem like the sort of thing he'd pick on his own, but it was hard to deny that it suited him. It was likely a suggestion from his agency, or girlfriend, if such a thing was possible.

"Bakugo!" Ochako happily trilled, gently moving past Izuku to hurriedly wrap him up in a hug.

"Round face," Katsuki replied, stiffening as she giggled and pulled him in tight. He knew better than to try and fight it, giving her back a few solid pats so she'd feel the hug was appreciated well enough to let go. As she stepped back it took him a second to realize what he was seeing, his hands subconsciously guiding her out in front of him so that he could get a better look.

"Round belly," he noted, at least having enough control to not physically reach out and touch it despite how much he wanted to.

Maybe that wasn't the best thing that he could have said, but his better manners and common sense mind hadn't been fast enough to beat his mouth. Thankfully Ochako happily laughed, running a hand over her very pregnant stomach. Since he'd last seen her Ochako had aged into a beautiful woman. Her face was still soft and youthful, round, as he'd so pointedly nicknamed her, her body curved and womanly. She'd cut her hair shorter, her body dressed in a tight bodycon dress that proudly displayed her muscular curves and bump. His eyes flicked to her shoes, glad to see she hadn't completely gone completely insane, forgoing a traditional rave heel for a pair of sparkly flats.

A deep, hidden part of him wondered if her pregnancy didn't have some sort of connection to Izuku's already born child. He and Ochako were practically inseparable during high school after all and it was no secret that she'd had feelings for him throughout most of it. Once the war was over though and they started transitioning back to a 'normal' life he had thought that closeness had changed, morphed into something both more meaningful and platonic.

Clearly he didn't know as much as he first thought, though he doubted if she and Izuku had been involved she'd be so brazen as to tell him like this. Which meant if this child wasn't Izuku's, which he was growing more sure of by the minute, then it was also likely that the little girl on the phone wasn't Ochako's either.

"I'm guessing it's been long enough to safely say you're keeping it. You and the father must be…very happy…" Katsuki answered, his voice graveling as he physically forced his words to be civil. Ochako nodded along happily before tilting her head as he finished, clearly expecting him to continue.

"What? You want some sort of congratulations?" Katsuki tested, raising a curious brow. Ochako curtly nodded, drawing a heavy sigh from his lips. He drew a hand along his face, having to remind himself that as of now Ochako was the only one willing and able to fill him in on each of Izuku's mysteries.

"Con…gratulations," he muttered, the words physically paining him as they were dragged out.

"Thank you!" she giggled, patting the sides of his arms, as if to celebrate him reacting like a human being and not a complete asshole.

"Iida and I are very excited! But we can talk about that later! After all, tonight isn't about mini-me, it's about Izuku!" Ochako chirped, her eyes flicking up and down, giving Katsuki a once over before adding "and you of course!"

"I can't wait, it's been way too long since we've all gotten together like this," Izuku added, offering his friends an all too easy grin as Ochako grabbed hold of his arm and began dragging him to the car. Katsuki gave a small grunt but was quick to follow. Iida took over the driver's seat as Ochako made herself comfortable next to him. Despite the car being on the more luxurious side the backseat was small and cramped. Izuku was rather short but he and Katsuki both were on the larger side, their muscles both bulking their forms out as much as it kept them lean. As it was he had to press his legs and shoulders hard against the side of the car to keep their limbs from touching, a point Izuku was doing his damndest to prevent as well.

He was all too quickly reminded of his long day of travel, his knees groaning at the cramped space, not yet recovered from the plane ride over. Ochako's music was too loud and already the air was too stuffy. Everyone else's unyielding giddiness was no help either, their excited chatter eating away at his tired ears.

"Oi, round face, just why the hell are you dragging us to a club? You were practically waddling the few feet it took to get to the car and it's not exactly like you can get drunk," Katsuki noted, narrowing his eyes at her small smirk, unable to read her motivations though this confusing scheme.

And it was a scheme, there was no doubt about that. Ochako didn't just do things without reason. She was smart, and petty, both things he very much enjoyed about her company, even forced upon him as it was. He swore he could hear her cackle as she turned in her seat to face them, her expression as sweet as poisoned honey.

"I can still dance! It'll be fun! Besides, I want to go support Wash! He's having a big celebration there tonight!" Ochako answered.

"We needed something with late hours anyways, everyone else won't be able to get into town until most of the normal hang outs close," she offered, and he had to admit that it all sounded extremely…reasonable.

"Everyone else?" Katsuki questioned.

"Yeah! You know, the Baku-Squad or whatever you called yourselves," Ochako said, giving a quick wave of her hand "not everyone could come on such short notice obviously but I managed to throw together a pretty good roster all things considered! We lucked out, a lot of them weren't on call so they're making the drive down! They'll probably get there before us honestly, we've always got to take these country roads super slow."

"Who is showing up exactly-"

"That's part of the fun! It's going to be a surprise!" Ochako giggled.

Katsuki could feel the dread growing, but Izuku perked up in interest, his eyes widening the way they often did when he was star struck.

"Wait, the others are coming too?" He asked, hopeful and giddy.

"Yeah! Well, not everyone obviously, but a good chunk of them! The others said they'd call once they had some time off though, everyone's trying to move things around so that they can drop by. At this point no one was sure Bakugo was ever coming back, they're not going to miss this chance to catch up while they've got it. And of course it's an excuse to come visit you Izuku too! So it's a double feature!" Ochako happily added.

"What the hell do you mean? I said I'd be back to be number one didn't I? Bunch of faithless assholes," Bakugo growled, but it didn't truly hold his normal bite.

"That's so nice of everyone. I know how rare it is for all of you to have any time off. To spend that time traveling just to have a few hours with us…I'm really grateful," Izuku breathed. Katsuki stole a glance to him, noticing the familiar crinkle of his eyes, the thing he always did when he felt the need to cry.

"Of course! It's just a pity we don't get to do it more often!" she answered, playfully giving Izuku's knee a squeeze. Katsuki's eyes slipped to the familiar touch, but rediverted the conversation.

"So…you and Iida huh? Never imagined Mr. Rigid would have himself a bastard," he muttered.

"Ochako and I are very much legally wed thank you very much. And we are very excited about the arrival of our little one, so if you would refrain from calling them rude names or expletives before they are even born I would appreciate it," Iida announced. Katsuki scoffed, giving the driver's seat back a small kick.

"Yeah, yeah, I said congratulations, didn't I?" he muttered.

"…I'll admit, I'm surprised though. Isn't being knocked up sort of career suicide in this kind of work? I mean, I can't imagine you're going into villain fights like that…" Katsuki noted.

"Well, they were a bit of a surprise but we knew we wanted kids so we made it work. Japan's actually been pretty quiet these past few years so it's not like there's a big villain fight happening all the time. For now Iida and I transferred to rescue and transportation missions, just in case, but we're still able to do our jobs as hero's- ah- just with more bathroom breaks," Ochako added.

"Sure but the agency didn't just let that fly right? What happens to your pay? Did you have to sign a new contract or…did they cut your pay because you weren't fighting villains? I mean, rescues are just as important as fighters for sure but they're absolute shit for mission points, the publicity isn't much better, not unless you get spotted doing something super fucking heroic. Your spot in the rankings must have taken a huge hit, huh?" Katsuki questioned.

"Rankings? Why would our pay go down because of something like that? That list is just made up of eligible, conventionally attractive men and women," Iida lectured, earning a soft laugh from Ochako's side.

"I think he's talking about the hero rankings honey, America is still using the old system."

"The old system?" Katsuki spat.

"Oh yeah, Japan abandoned that system a while ago! I can't remember all the reasons it was taken down but the backlash from Endeavour was a big part of it. One bad egg and the entirety of the public's trust in us was completely wiped out! Not to mention all those heroes jumping ship the minute the public wasn't worshiping them. The rankings made it way too easy for the villains to turn the public against us. We knew we already had an uphill battle getting everyone to believe in 'heroes' again so this time we decided to take a different route. I'm surprised Izuku didn't tell you that, he's pretty much the new founder of it after all, he basically built the new system from the ground up!" Ochako excitedly informed him.

"...did he really?" Katsuki breathed, his eyes fuming and confused as he turned his gaze to Izuku.

Well, that explained why he couldn't find anything about the rankings on the news channel, they'd been done away with, abandoned at the same time he'd left to grow on his own.

"Anyway, you two can talk about that later! Tonight your asses are ours! So no fighting, got it Katsuki?" Ochako questioned. Katsuki flexed his fist into the car but lowly nodded, taking the hint.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," he muttered.

The rest of the drive dragged on. It was clear that the three had not been reunited in some time, Izuku eager to catch up on the long drive into the city. He rattled off questions about Ochako's health and their recent escapades, laughing over memories Katsuki was not a part of. He was quick to keep the conversation off of himself, diverting with short, undetailed answers, though whether that was because he didn't want to talk about himself or because Katsuki was there to hear it he couldn't be sure.

It seemed the hero rankings were not the only thing to change. Quirk training had become a normality in children, Ochako and Iida both taking an active role in holding community classes that aimed to help children understand and control their quirk in a safe setting. Laws surrounding personal quirk use had been altered as well, many of the ads he saw for restaurants and performances sporting some integration of a civilian's powers. Live cooking with a fire breathing quirk, a magic show featuring vision inducing mist, as well as many more that he couldn't make out.

Iida explained that anyone could apply for a quirk permit now, as long as they designated what the quirk would be used for and proved that its wielder could control it adequately. It didn't give them free reign to use at their discretion like a hero permit, but it did mean people were using quirks for more domestic, daily necessities.

Supposably both were meant to prevent civilians from feeling ostracized or controlled, giving them more than the option of becoming a hero or never using their quirk at all. He didn't have to ask about the purpose of a quirk school. All of them knew well enough what could happen to children who felt they were misunderstood, who tried to repress their quirks or perfect it behind closed doors. If any of them had been given the chance to be seen by a hero, to be understood, maybe the league of villains would have ended before it had ever been formed.

He couldn't help but wonder how he would have turned out if he'd been trained in a place like that. Would the heroes he so desperately wanted to be like be astute enough to force some humility on him before his ego got to his head, or would he have brushed them off completely, convinced that they just didn't see his brilliance? He wasn't quite ready to admit that he knew the answer, but the thought distracted him long enough to get through the rest of the drive.

He eyed the club curiously as Iida handed off his keys. Despite the constant invitations from his coworkers to go out drinking Katsuki had never actually partaken in the night life. At most he'd made his parents share their ludicrously expensive bottle of wine at a restaurant, his on-call lifestyle leaving little time for experiences like this. Not that he would have chosen it for himself to begin with. Clubs were loud, and overstimulating, bubble raves even more so. He stuffed his hands in his pocket as Ochako happily hurried past the growing line and to the side door. A flash of her phone was all the bouncer needed to see before stepping aside to let them through. Izuku made an impressed hum before following her giggling form.

The door led them to a half blocked hallway and set of stairs. Immediately the jolt of the club's music pounded against his ears, loud and dizzying. Thankfully the light show was contained to the dance floor, encompassing flashes of bright white, strumming in rhythm with the music's beat. On stage a few dancers surrounded the DJ, blasting the crowd with oversized bubble guns.

Izuku looked over the place in fascination, clearly impressed as Ochako showed him the cramped upstairs.

Thankfully the music wasn't so loud up here, it wasn't completely closed off but the additional furniture and half walls dulled it enough to be able to hold an only slightly louder than normal conversation. The set was sleazy and overboard and Katsuki found himself wishing he'd grabbed a tub of sanitizing wipes before they'd arrived. Ochako showed no such fear, happily plopping herself upon the leather couch as Izuku hurried to the half wall to watch the people downstairs.

"Ochako! Are we really allowed up here?" he asked, with wide eyes.

"Yep! The VIP section is all ours tonight! We didn't even have to drop Shoto's name this time!" Ochako announced proudly.

"Hmph, you two are really living the dream," Katsuki teased, his rolled eyes pointedly ignored as Ochako hurried to Izuku's side.

"Can you spot anybody down there? Everyone else said they're already downstairs!"

"No not yet, it's pretty dark though…oh! Wait, wait, I recognize that jacket! Mina!"

Katsuki raised a brow as he strolled to the wall beside them, spotting Mina's absurdly unique fashion choices a mile away. Someone next to her gave her a tap on the shoulder before pointing up to the room where they resided. Her high pitched squeal cut through even the overblown speakers as she waved her arms frantically.

"Izuku! Oh my god, hold on, hold on, wait for us!" she screamed, rushing through the dance floor.

"Where does she think we're going to go?" Katsuki questioned, earning a quick glare of warning from Izuku.

It didn't take long for Mina to gather her small group and join them at the wall. Just as Katsuki was going to ask how they planned on getting up, one of the waitresses hurried to the group's aid, blowing them a small kiss that formulated around them in a cartoonish bubble. Mina giggled ecstatically as they floated up and over the wall, the bubble popping just as their feet hit solid ground. Katsuki still wasn't sure how the waitress was supposed to know when they wanted back down, but he didn't have time to ponder the mechanics as three flying bodies rushed him, practically tackling him to the ground with their needy embraces.

"Katsuki! We thought you were going to be in America forever! Why didn't you call?! We missed you!" Mina whined, her slightly drunken cry immediately drowned out by Eijiro's own.

"What the hell man?! Why didn't you tell us you were back in Japan?! You promised you'd only be gone a year, breaking a promise is unmanly as hell-!"

"Katsuki! I called you so much but you never called me back! I was hella badass and you weren't even there to see it! I saved the newspaper clippings for you though- here- this ones a really bad photo but they weren't letting journalist in until it was safe and by then I was all juiced out-" Denki quickly joined in, his jostling in an attempt to show him the articles the last bit of weight Katsuki could handle as they fell into the couch together.

"Holy shit, one at a time, and get your asses off me-!" Katsuki yelled from beneath, managing to peel the blabbering messes off of his chest. Now that he had some room to breathe he could make out two other figures standing by the balcony, though they'd at least had enough sense to not tackle him at first sight.

"Hey Kats," Jirou called, lazily holding up her hand in greeting. She was wearing some new kind of prosthetic in both her good and injured ear. He'd seen her go through a few iterations in school but nothing had held up to the original power of her natural born quirk. She had struggled more than she ever cared to burden them with, the technology never comfortable or matching, pairing a particular difficulty as her powers were so engrained to her actual body. She seemed happier now though, more relaxed and less on edge. He would have thought this kind of environment would be a hellhole for her, but the prosthetic looked to be filtering the noise as much as it was enhancing.

His eyes rolled to the man next to her, looking just as smug and blank faced as ever. He wasn't too surprised by how Shoto had aged, they all knew he was going to stay a beauty queen from the start, plus, he was the only hero the gossip channels had repeatedly shown. He could admit that seeing him as untouchable as normal did nothing for his growing unease. It wasn't often that he found himself jealous, and he would never actually admit that's what it was out loud, but he'd always been envious of Shoto, right from the start. His family was shitty and yeah, his past left him with some tough shit to work out, but Katsuki had always seen Shoto as his equal, someone who started from the same blocks, who'd been given the same chances, only Shoto had always come out of them…better.

He had a curated fire quirk, proven to be as strong as Endeavour's own, but he had chosen to only train his ice, completely out of spite. He was handsome, and rich, and after a bit of patented Izuku friendship magic had become palatable to almost everyone he met. And maybe that was the part that pissed him off the most, whether he'd ever admit it, that Shoto had been focused, and angry, and isolated, and still managed to get his shit together before Katsuki. And maybe the fact it was Izuku who made that possible made him burn all the hotter, that Shoto had done the one thing Katsuki had refused to, that he'd embraced Izuku's kindness instead of rejecting it and come out the other side all the better.

Because he'd seen it long before Katsuki ever could, realized what was in front of him when he had clawed out his own eyes in an attempt to stay blind.

"Bakugo," Shoto greeted, nodding his head in acknowledgement.

After so many years fighting together Katsuki had learned how to read the man's normally pensive communications. There was a coldness to his eyes that Katsuki hadn't expected, like he was trying to hide the anger bubbling just beneath. The two of them were close, and he was sure he didn't appreciate his vanishing act any more than the other extras, but something told him that anger wasn't rooted for himself. As annoyed as Shoto might be that he had been cut off without explanation, it wouldn't fester the way that he was looking at him now. Katsuki numbly nodded in acknowledgement, unable to stop his eyes from following as the man immediately turned to make himself comfortable at Izuku's side.

It wasn't easy to ignore the way that coldness immediately vanished, a bright warmth surrounding both he and Izuku as his classmates rushed to greet him in turn. There was a familiarity in the way they moved, a silent communication in their shared glances, something different than what had been there before. It stirred his gut unpleasantly and all at once he was reminded that the people he'd left, the Izuku he thought he knew, were gone, replaced by someone who had lived most of their adult life without him. He quickly dug his nails into his jeans, pushing down the rush of nausea and spite. Both Eijiro and Mina suddenly lost the pep in their voice, their minds instead working to spot what was wrong. It was amazing how even in the dark lighting they had immediately noticed his discomfort, their time apart not dulling their instincts the slightest.

"I think everyone could use another drink, eh Katsuki?" Eijiro questioned, gripping tight to his shoulder. Katsuki didn't need to see his expression to know what he really meant, the tightness of his hands an awknowledgment that he was heard, and that they'd talk about it later.. He'd never really been fond of that part, but this time he had no real excuses to avoid it. He'd gone no contact for years and now he was showing up out of the blue without a warning or an apology. As uncomfortable as it was they deserved a talk, as loathe as he was to admit it.

"You've got tomorrow off, right Izuku? I heard the special tonight comes served in a little dollhouse washing machine," Ochako chimed, earning a quick laugh from Izuku.

"Oh…well…that sounds great, obviously, but, I don't know," he rubbed the back of his head, suddenly looking rather nervous, though about what Katsuki couldn't even begin to guess. Shoto picked up on the change as well, his tall form pushing closer as he leaned in, lowering his voice so that the exchange could be limited to the space between them. It might have worked had Katsuki not been so focused on gathering as much information as he possibly could, his eyes only narrowing further as Shoto's shoulder pressed against Izuku's own, casually, like touch hadn't been a rarity between them for years.

"I won't be partaking tonight Izuku, so please, enjoy yourself," he assured and Izuku physically deflated in relief, his bright grin returning as he quickly nodded.

"Thanks Shoto, if you're sure it's ok I will then," he answered.

Katsuki tightened his crossed arms, mulling over the strange choice of words. Since when did Izuku need permission from Shoto to have a few drinks? And why would Shoto staying sober be the assurance that Izuku needed to let loose? The only possible connection he could make was the possibility of a villian attack, but that didn't quite fit either. Logically it made the most sense, it was why people worked with partners on long shifts, assuring one hero would be alert and rested even while the other slept.

But they had a group of nine pro heroes with them, and it wasn't like they hadn't taken on difficult fights in worse conditions. Hell, Izuku himself had spent months in isolation, skipping meals and sleep to keep himself alive. He doubted Izuku was actually concerned they'd be too tipsy to fight back, so what was Shoto actually protecting?

"In that case the first rounds on me, what's everybody having?" Izuku asked. He got up to take everyone's orders.

"I will assist you in carrying them Izuku! Please wait one moment," Iida announced, joining him at the half wall as they tried to get the waitresses attention.

Just as everyone was starting to settle the stage flickered with colorful prisms and lights, the already loud music growing higher and more upbeat as the stage screen slowly began to lift. Ochako gasped in excitement before grabbing Jirou and Mina's hands, practically throwing them off of the couch towards the dancefloor.

"Oh my gosh, look, look, Wash is getting on stage! Come on! Let's get downstairs and cheer him on!" she giggled, about to hop into the waiting bubble when Katsuki wrapped a hand around her waist, quickly separating her from the two waiting girls.

"Oh no you don't. You and me need to have a chat," he muttered. Ochako groaned, lowly rolling her eyes. She spun beneath Katsuki's hand, waiting on him with an impatient gaze.

"Yes, Katsuki?"

"Don't 'yes Katsuki' me, you know exactly what I'm here for. Now I've congratulated you on your little growing tumor, put on a nice shirt and didn't blow up your speaker the entire ride here- and nothing that you've said, or showed me, has explained anything that I wanted to know. So let's start with the obvious, who the hell is the little girl on Izuku's phone?" Katsuki hissed, keeping the woman close even as she grew more and more bored.

"That little girl is Mizurio. And she is Izuku's favorite little person in the world," Ochako started, checking over her shoulder to see if the two girls had already left or not "and I didn't forget about my promise! I called Mizurio's mother and she agreed to come take you both back home so Iida and I can head back when the baby decides it's time to go. Trust me, you're going to understand a lot more by meeting her than having me explain any of it."

"Wait, she's coming here- tonight?" Katsuki questioned, his voice fraying with nerves. He wasn't sure how many more of these surprises he could take, and coming face to face with the woman who had given Izuku a child, who had made him a father was not an event he could ever take lightly. On one hand Ochako was right, giving him a name and a backstory might fill in a few pieces, but actually seeing Izuku interact with her, seeing the way he looked and spoke to her, well, it would tell him everything he actually needed to know.

Izuku's cold stare resurfaced to his mind as well as his desperate plea to not ruin his one reunited night together. His mood had completely changed the minute he saw his friends, and, while he still wanted answers, Katsuki knew he would only be making things worse by betraying Izuku's trust. He chewed the inside of his cheek before quickly shaking his head.

"Maybe….you should tell her not to come. Look, Izuku's had a really shitty day and I'm pretty sure I'm the cause of ninety percent of it. It's not like I don't want to know but…he doesn't need another shitty reunion thrust on him, especially not after being able to salvage some of this day by being with all of you," Katsuki muttered, his need for answers caught in a screaming match against his better judgement.

At that Ochako only smiled, giving his arms a tight reassuring squeeze.

"That's sweet of you Katsuki but there's no need to worry! Izuku loves spending time with her, he's going to be ecstatic!" she promised.

Katsuki searched her face but could find no trace of a lie. If anyone was going to look out for Izuku it would be Ochako. After all it wasn't like she was ever shy with telling Katsuki what an ass he was being. In fact, she was almost always the only one who was brave enough to say that shit to his face. She wouldn't do anything that would hurt Izuku, at least, not on purpose, so, with a resigned sigh he nodded and loosened his grip.

"We can talk about everything else later! Right now we need to go dance!" she urged, rushing back to the wall.

This time he didn't stop her. Mina had somehow talked Shoto into changing places, the bubbly pink woman handing out drinks from a tray Katsuki hadn't seen arrive. As Ochakos group vanished to the growing dance floor Katsuki found himself left with his original attackers. Denki watched the dance floor with interest as Mina splayed her legs across Eijiro's lap, lounging with some glittery concoction in hand.

It took him a moment to realize they were not abstaining because of their own lack of interest, but in an effort to spend more time with him. His cheeks turned a bit hot, finding himself embarrassed by the sudden focus of their attention, even if they were doing their damndest to not overwhelm him.

They had always been the more forward thinkers in that way, recognizing that just because he was fine on his own didn't mean that he was always better. It was frustrating how quickly he knew that was the truth while his actions still skewed completely the opposite. Even now he moved without thinking, giving in to his first instincts, consequences be damned. It was the same shit he'd done his whole life, the same mindset and ego that had gotten him into this mess to begin with.

Fighting against every urge to take Iida's keys and run, Katsuki dropped down into the seat beside Eijiro, a grunt of displeasure leaving his lips as Mina extended her legs to lay over him as well.

"You're looking super hot Katsuki! So big and buff! And I'm loving the tan! Is it natural or does your agency just spray you down every couple weeks to give you that fuck god glow?" Mina giggled, squealing with delight as Katsuki's face twisted with disgust.

"Well America still has the rankings system right? So it's probably his boss, they've got to keep him desirable after all, his salary depends on it!" Denki snidely chimed in.

"Ugh…! Fuck! Why am I doing this to myself? I hate you all so much," he muttered, giving Mina's feet a harsh shove as she flexed and hunkered down, fighting against his ever growing strength. When it was clear she wasn't going to give in he swiftly changed strategies, gripping her ankles and brashly pulling them up instead of out, effectively tipping her over in one smooth movement. Mina just allowed it to happen, giggling as Eijiro caught hold of her thighs before she was completely off balance.

"Don't say shit like that man, with how long you were gone we might actually start to believe it," Eijiro warned, though his tone was soft and teasing.

"I wouldn't! We're Katsuki's best friends, even if he's absolutely terrible at showing it," Mina added and for once Katsuki didn't really disagree.

"I for one am super glad we all are able to get together! I love going out, especially with Midoriya, the dudes a total chick magnet!" Denki giggled, eyes eagerly flicking to Katsuki as he sputtered on his whiskey, coughing to choke the harsh sting down.

"...you can not possibly be telling me that Deku is a ladies man…" he growled, refusing to live in this backwards reality even a second longer. Thankfully Denki let out an immediate laugh, shaking his head with a quick motion of surrender.

"Oh- HAH- no! That's what makes it so great! My guy has no idea what the fuck to do with them but man do they still flock to him like some kind of mama duckling. Hm- flock…fuck…fuckling? I don't know, there's something there-" he rambled, letting out a quick whine as Eijiro took away the beer in his hand.

"That's pretty big talk for someone who's only ever been in one relationship," Eijiro teased. Katsuki felt a smirk creep on his lips as he claimed the glass for himself, idly kicking his feet up on the overly decorated coffee table.

"You talk around Jirou like that too Pikachu, or just when you're trying to show off?" he muttered, causing the blonde to swiftly roll his eyes.

"What a stupid question. How would my bi-sexual wife and I bond if we weren't allowed to point out and appreciate ridiculously sexy people? Besides! She has a speaker quirk! I don't say anything I wouldn't be ok with her hearing- RIGHT BABY?!"

Denki shouted the last bit as he leaned over the half wall. Katsuki could see Jirou near the stage, snorting under her breath before giving the four a quick thumbs up. Denki's eyes shimmered with pride and wistful adoration, never taking his gaze off her as he sat back down with the others.

"See! She could even hear me call for her in a loud place like this! My wife's so cool," he cooed.

"Speaking of special someone's-" Mina trilled, bluntly brining the attention back to Katsuki. His hands clenched across the glass as he shot his eyes away, but Mina wasn't so kind as to let the matter drop.

"You finally ready to share with the class? Because there is no way 'Big Feelings Bakugo' does not also have a very loud and very cemented opinion on sex," Mina proclaimed, earning another quick glare.

"Big Feelings Bakugo?" He gasped.

"Answer the question!" Mina giggled, tugging at his jacket with clumsy, vomit inducing shakes "is there a girl we don't know about? Is there a boy? Is there a girl and a boy?!"

Katsuki growled into his drink with a roll of his eyes. Normally he wouldn't even be entertaining this kind of conversation, but, no matter how it felt, he knew they weren't just doing it to try and piss him off or make him feel smoall. It wasn't like he wasn't doing the same damn thing, calling Ochako the minute he had any sort of block on Izuku's life. At least they weren't trying to go behind his back to figure it out.

"There isn't anybody," he stated, but the words burned his tongue.

Liar.

"-and I'm not looking."

The truth, but a cop out all the same.

"But if you were?" Mina teased, waiting on him expectantly.

He knew that if he told them to drop it they would. They were nosy as fuck but they weren't actually trying to cause him any harm. He also knew if he told him the truth, if he actually let them in, they'd be understanding of that to. He knew that, he just didn't actually know how to say it.

For everyone else this kind of shit had come so easily, even if the repercussions of knowing that truth had been hard. Denki had known he had a thing for boys and girls ever since he was old enough to hold a pencil. Aizawa had never once thought of dating a girl, and similarly, Tsu had never once thought of dating a boy. Even if it was hard for some people to admit or to talk about, deep inside of themselves they'd always had a gut feeling, clues that made them feel differently towards one gender or the other.

Katsuki hadn't ever had that. Not fully. He'd gone through puberty the same as everyone else and he wasn't short on passion or desire, or- other things. He had feelings the same as everyone else, it's just that feeling never felt more than something skin deep.

"I'm gay. I like guys, is that what you want to hear?" Katsuki finally answered, trying to hide his discomfort as he grinded his teeth.

Alright, a half truth. More truth than lie. he wasn't really sure if he was gay, not because he thought he might be attracted to girls, but because most men didn't make him feel anything either. It was good enough though. Just because he wasn't entirely shutting them down didn't mean he had to go into detail. It's not like they actually wanted to open that can of worms anyway. They weren't here to play shrink, they just wanted to know something about him that other people didn't. It was human nature, something he was still trying to get used to.

"Men! Right, well, speaking candidly Katsuki I think we were all pretty confident in that, but it's nice to hear you say it! And you live in New York! The hero scene there is insane, if you do decide to start looking I'm sure you'd find a lot of interesting people-" Mina added, leaning against Katsuki's shoulder as Denki let out a drunken laugh.

"Well, I mean he's probably looking for someone specific so it's gonna narrow down his choices. Let's see, they'd need to be hot, need to be able to handle someone who runs hot, they'd have to be someone who likes getting yelled at all the time. Maybe a sub? Pft, I dunno. I doubt he'd even let anyone ride on top, you know how much he can't stand people looking down on him," Denki giggled, his words suddenly cutting off in a gag as Katsuki pulled him into a choke hold.

"Oi, you think you're a comedian now eh Dunce Face?"

"'s a joke, kch, just teasing-!"

Denki rolled out of Katsuki's arms as he finally let him loose, his eyes shooting another quiet warning before moving back out to the dance floor. The rest of their group was perched near the front of the stage, dancing in the rainbow shimmers as Wash continued his set from behind the dj booth. Iida very carefully spun Ochako with an ever present guiding hand, likely both to make sure she did not fall and so that he could keep his hand flush and present against her skin. He watched her with such love in his eyes that Katsuki felt like a third wheel, even when surrounded by such a large crowd.

Shoto stood frozen and stoic as always, playing set piece to Izuku and Jirous antics. Currently they were treating him like a maypole, wrapping him with their twisting arms and moving bodies.

Despite the rough start to the night Izuku looked happier than he'd ever been, sweet and glowing, the way he had when they'd parted all those years ago.

He remembered watching the way he danced then too, how the future has seemed so open and endless, how his body had felt as he held him in the airport and he forced himself to look away.

"…so…I can pretty much pin down the rest of you…but you've been out with Izuku before, the nerd got a type?" Katsuki tested, slyly raising an eye to watch their expressions and see who he could squeeze for information.

If any of them were keeping secrets though no one showed it, each of them taking a hard few seconds to think before eventually shrugging in a non committal agreement.

"Hmm, I dunno. I'm pretty sure he's demisexual so I don't think he has a type exactly," Mina noted. Katsuki wasn't sure what the fuck that meant but before he could ask they were back to using his own question against him.

"What about you? I mean, guys, yeah, you said that part, but I don't think you've ever actually told us what kind of guys before," Eijiro gently pushed, looking to Katsuki expectantly.

"What are you asking that for Kirishima? He just said didn't he? He's dekusexua-KCH!"

Denki was back in a chokehold before he even had time to finish his joke.

The others took their cue from his sudden return to violence and the matter wasn't brought up again. Time flew by that way. Katsuki thought that it would be harder, that he would be standing on the outside forever. He waited for the eventual collapse, for them to break the illusion and break this temporary peace with their lectures or their encompassing disappointment. To his surprise it never came, they gave him no interrogation, did not mention his absence or his lack of care. He wasn't stupid enough to think they didn't feel it, that they didn't have questions, that they weren't hurt- but they didn't talk about any of it, never yelled, never accused, they simply fell about him in lazy lumps, surrounding him with their small physical touches and growing body heat. When he didn't talk they filled the silence, excited, and optimistic, eager to include him even if his participation was incredibly minimal.

After a while he could almost forget that it wasn't just them, that they weren't back in the dorms, crowding their broken in couch while they poured over homework and magazines.

And just as the comfort of that memory brushed his mind came a stabbing pain in his heart, twisting and decaying the good into ashes and dust.

Because how could he remember the good without thinking of what followed immediately after? The dormitory that he had lived in with his friends, a building only built because all of their lives were constantly in danger, a building that had failed to protect them, that had changed to protect others even as they were pushed out into the line of fire. Someplace that had felt like home now just a cement box to be buried in.

All of those lazy nights, the friendships he'd carried, where had it all led him? Where had all those perfect nights ended up? His body, torn to shreds by the enemy, not good enough to stop him, not even good enough to stall him for time, dead, but not quite gone, stuck in an agonizing loop of world ending pain and helplessness, a limbo in the darkness, someone inside of him, reconstructing him, creating a part of him that was decayed, filling something that no longer existed. His body, the heart his mother had made him, the heart that Katsuki had been so desperately mending, the heart that had finally been strong enough to show itself, the heart that never really belonged to him at all, the heart that Shigaraki had destroyed-

He didn't realize he was gulping for air until Eijiro's hand was squeezing hard into his leg, the concern on his face palpable as Katsuki jolted off of the couch and down the stairs. His ears were muddled and clogged, only barely recognizing that someone was calling after him. His body moved without his permission, stumbling down the hall as he threw himself through the open door. He barely held on long enough to stumble into the alley, gasping in the sharp night air. His mind relished in the sting of the painful cold as it slipped down his throat and into his lungs. His heart pounded harder with every step, grew louder, screaming, reminding him of what he'd done, of what he'd failed to do. Black dots flickered in front of his eyes as he reached out blindly, running his hand across the worn brick of the building.

He pushed his palm hard against the edges, letting it tear at the soft of his skin, letting it rip away bits and pieces of him until his mind could reassert its focus. Before he could find something more effective Eijiro grabbed hold of his arm, quickly turning him around to face him.

There was something about the hold that managed to bring him back to reality. He stammered for explanation as Eijiro overlooked him, unsure of what to do, or how to help. It was clear he was hoping for some instruction, but when none came he simply fell on what he knew, engulfing Katsuki into a hug so tight he was positive it might have broken the bones of a smaller man. Katsuki tried to pull away, to tell him how stupid he was being, but Eijiro held firm, not letting go.

Eventually he just gave in, focusing instead on ending the spiral he'd begun to follow.

It had been years since he'd had these kinds of attacks, years since he'd thought about the war or his part in it. He inwardly cursed his own idiocy, not knowing why he hadn't just taken the damn vacation when it was offered to him. He'd still be pissed, he'd be pensive and antsy and eager to get back to patrol but at least he wouldn't be here, he wouldn't be feeling like this. His heart quickened at the thought of the others seeing him break down, of their pitying glances and concerned whispered words, like he would shatter if touched the wrong way, like he was weak.

Katsuki cursed beneath his breath and gave Eijiro a rough shove but the man was faster, and, begrudgingly, stronger than Katsuki's half hearted protest.

He was surprised he wasn't already blubbering over himself, promising that everything was fine, that he didn't have to be scared, that he wasn't there anymore, all things he knew, all things his own mind screamed at himself over and over into the expanding void. Instead Eijiro just kept on the pressure, keeping them hidden in the shadow of the alley.

"I got you man, I'm right there with you," he quietly assured, and despite the strange tense to his wording he didn't need to clarify for Katsuki to understand what he meant.

Because he had been there, had lived through it, just like Katsuki.

And maybe…maybe he wasn't the only one who felt like he was stuck there, always one step away from falling right back into it again.

They stood like that for a few minutes before the worst of it passed, Eijiro only letting him go when he was sure he wasn't going to run off somewhere on his own again. Katsuki paced for a while before eventually dropping down the club wall to the floor, letting his eyes close as the winter chill brought down his burning heat. He clenched and unclenched his hands rhythmically, a subtle tick to make sure his emotions didn't trigger his sparks. Even with the worst of his attacks he couldn't allow his quirk to be reckless. He's let his mind die a thousand deaths before his fear actually forced him to hurt someone else.

Eijiro sat opposite of him, quiet, and patient, waiting until he was sure Katsuki was through the worst of it before speaking again.

"Katsuki…" he let out a quiet sigh and he knew all too well what was coming "I'm sorry man, I really didn't want to pin you down like this but…we've got to talk about it."

"Yeah…" he groaned, dragging a hand down his face with a resigned sigh.

"I'm honestly surprised you were able to hold it back this long…I thought for sure the first thing you extras would do is corner me to find out what the fuck went wrong," Katsuki quietly admitted.

"It's not like we were ignoring it's just…we all decided collectively not to bring it up. Ochako had no idea why you'd suddenly come home and…well…it's not like we had any idea what you'd been going through in America. We just…didn't want to scare you off…not when we'd just gotten you back."

"Kch. I'm not scared of anything…especially not idiots like you," he mumbled, but the insult felt halfhearted.

No, Katsuki was fearless, unshakeable. Except when things are too peaceful, too calm. Then he's driven into a panic attack over the fact that he and his friends are having a good time.

A real fucking hero he was.

"You don't have to baby me. I know I fucked up so just…fucking tear me a new one, call me an ass, whatever you want to do. We're friends, you've never shied away from calling me on my bullshit before. No reason to start now," Katsuki muttered.

"Are we? Friends I mean? Cause it seems to me like you ghosted us longer than you and I even knew each other," Eijiro snapped, and alright, that hurt a bit more than he'd expected, but he had told Eijiro to be blunt.

"If it helps it's not like I singled you out…I shut out everyone when I left," Katsuki explained, though it hardly made it any better.

"Pft. Come on. I highly doubt you ignored everyone. I mean, you are staying at Izuku's house right now aren't you? Look if you had blinders on I get it but-" Eijiro's teasing tapered off as he saw Katsuki flinch, his glazed, blood red eyes immediately turning for a distraction as he drank a long gulp of the beer in his hand. Eijiro's eyes widened, his head immediately shooting to the club before snapping back to Katsuki in shock.

"You ghosted Izuku?! Seriously?!"

"What can I say…I'm a certified asshole," Katsuki moaned.

"God…Katsuki man I love you but you make it real fucking hard to do sometimes," Eijiro breathed, disbelief evident across his features.

"Yeah I've heard that once or twice…"

Eijiro clearly needed to sit with this new information, the problem clearly far worse than he had first thought. Katsuki stared at the ground below him, strangled by their sudden silence.

"I'm…" he swallowed hard, his body physically fighting itself as he tried to summon up the courage to admit the words out loud.

"I'm sorry. For…shutting you out like that," he breathed, immediately washing the taste out with another drink. Eijiro watched him with ill hid amusement, snatching the bottle out of his hands.

"Wow, and here I was thinking I'd have to drag an apology out of you!" he hummed.

"Look I'm not an idiot, it's not like I don't realize what I did was…" He trailed off to find the proper word, but it was clear Eijiro had a few ready.

"Selfish…rude…callous-"

"That…"

Eijiro smirked as Katsuki uneasily shifted, picking at the gravel now stuck within his palms. His eyes softened, no doubt recalling the frantic mess he'd been only moments before. It was easy with how quickly Katsuki hid things to forget the things that were there before. He masked what wasn't easy, and yelled and kicked when he couldn't keep it in any more. He knew it wasn't a healthy strategy, that it didn't benefit him any more than it did the things he was trying to mend, but sometimes- most of the time- it felt like the only real option.

"...then…what happened man?" Eijiro breathed "...I thought…I don't know! I though we were in a good place when you left…!"

"We were-"

"And it's not like we forgot about you. Every single one of us was struggling, every one of us was working overtime and trying to put the world back together. But we still tried! We tried for months to get more than a ten minute conversation out of you, to make sure you were alright, to make sure you were alive- …when your number suddenly stopped working…I…I don't know. We just figured you'd come to us when you were ready. Only you never did," Eijiro's voice shook as he stared at the club door, unable to keep Katsuki's gaze.

"We never stopped caring about you Katsuki. Not once. Mina never stopped looking for you on the news, asking Izuku how you were…we are terrified Katsuki, terrified one day you're just going to be gone and…and we wouldn't have even had a chance to say goodbye, to try and fix things!" Eijiro breathed, looking to him directly now, his eyes tinged with tears, pleading.

He wanted an answer. He wanted an explanation for how Katsuki could be so cruel. He wanted to hear that a villian had overtaken his mind, that he'd lost his memories, that his phone and his passport had been taken in some cruel ploy to isolate him from his community.

At this point it even saying that he just didn't care enough would bring him some peace, because at least it was an answer, at least it was something he could use to make sense of all of it.

"...I don't have any good excuse. I honestly just didn't…I don't…" Katsuki whispered.

"I don't know how to explain it. That first year was so fucking chaotic, living on my own and learning a new language and laws- trying to stand out and find my place in the team at the same time. Deku was off training in the mountains and everyone else was so busy that spending weeks without talking to anyone just became…normal! I just…I thought I had everything together and obviously I didn't. I know you guys called and left messages and I don't know why I didn't just answer you when you did-"

Another lie, he knew full well why he didn't.

"And by that point I was so used to not being around anyone else that when my phone got crushed and the agency gave me a new one I just- I just trucking along- because I didn't even think about the fact that something had changed, that I'd taken away the last way you guys had of finding me!"

And maybe that had been a relief looking back. Maybe it had let him remove himself completely, to stop thinking and feeling. Because hearing his friends, hearing his teams voice brought back the good but the good always turned into that damn war, the war he was supposed to have already moved past, the war that hadn't fucked him up and crippled him, the war that they had won so why the fuck did it still even matter-!

"I'm a dumbass, let's just leave it at that…" Katsuki breathed, shutting himself down before the panic took over again.

"Leave it at that? Katsuki you cut off Izuku! The kid who managed to keep you at the center of his universe even when you were pushing him down in the dirt! The rest of us, yeah, maybe I get, maybe I don't agree, but I get, but him- Katsuki you lov-"

"Look I need something stronger if we're gonna get into this. Can we just call it truce? Fuck. Just for tonight?" Katsuki pleaded. Eijiro's brows furrowed in frustration but he could tell that Katsuki was at his limit. With a defeated sigh he nodded, downing the rest of what was left in the beer bottle.

"...yeah, alright. But don't think that I'm just going to drop it…we're worried about you Katsuki…Izuku's worried about you," he reminded.

"Yeah…I know."

Katsuki pushed out a slow breath through his teeth, crippled by the silence that followed. From the alley he could hear the dull thuds of the club, the flashes of its lights painting the alley like a shutter. Izuku's face once again plagued him, morphing in the shadows on the wall.

"...so…he's really not lying to me. Deku really isn't a hero?" He found himself whispering.

"I wouldn't say that," Eijiro answered defiantly "...but he's not signed with an agency or anything if that's what you're asking."

"What the fuck happened…? How can he just…sit back and watch from the sidelines? And why isn't anybody else weirded out by it? That nerd has wanted to be a hero ever since he knew how to walk! And now, against all fucking odds he can and he…he isn't? Why doesn't anyone else realize how insane that is?" Katsuki breathed.

"I don't know, Izuku doesn't really talk about it…" Eijiro admitted, "...he was up in the mountains for a little while with Aizawa and…we just kept waiting for him to announce what he was going to do, where he was going to go, who he was going to sign with. Months went by though and he never did. Nothing felt wrong, he was the same Izuku we all knew and loved but…he just…wasn't following the same path we were. He was so happy for all of us and he was still incredibly active in stuff behind the scenes so…when he started posting about what he was doing in U.A and his plans to be a teacher we were all just relieved that he was doing something that made him happy."

"And that didn't feel…wrong to you? That he we was happy being anything but a hero?" Katsuki choked.

"He's still a hero Katsuki," Eijiro answered firmly, his eyes narrowing in warning. It was clear whatever Katsuki's views on Izuku's path he would accept no slander to their friend's name.

"And…no…it didn't seem weird. Izuku went through a lot of shit to make it so we could have the life we do today. Surviving Shigaraki was just the start man. Japan was in pieces when you left and everyone was looking to Izuku for answers. If he never wanted to look at the world of heroes again I know we'd all more than understand…"

Katsuki chewed his cheek to keep from arguing. It wasn't Eijiro's fault that Izuku hadn't become a hero after all. As good of friends as they were, no one knew Izuku like Katsuki. It's why he was able to keep One For All a secret as long as he did. No one questioned Izuku's lies, not even when they were tearing him apart.

"U.A is a good fit for him. It gives him the chance to really change things, and change them for the better. We're proud as hell of what he's doing- and you- of all people should be too," Eijiro answered, his words sounding more like a warning than a compliment.

It was clear he was trying to spell things out, the same as Aizawa. Izuku had found a way to be happy, he shouldn't go poking old wounds and snooping around where he didn't belong.

Even knowing that though he couldn't let it go, his mind obsessing over the trail of clues he'd been given, trying to find the common thread, the reason that Izuku would abandon everything they'd built. He wanted Izuku to be happy, of course he wanted him to be happy, but he would never be able to have that unless he was a hero. The peace Aizawa and his friends were protecting was an illusion, a mirage that Izuku had put up so his friends would stop worrying over him.

It was an insane assumption, but some darker part of him needed it to be true.

Because…if it wasn't…

"We should head back inside," Katsuki breathed, willing himself to get back up and return to the chaos. Eijiro looked like there was more that he wanted to say, but he bit it back. His best chance at helping Katsuki was by keeping him close, and Katsuki wasn't going to let that happen if he pushed too far too quickly. It had always been a delicate system, but thankfully it was one Eijiro knew well. Instead he wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him into a side hug as Katsuki grumbled beneath the weight.

When they returned to the top room everyone had rejoined for a round of drinks. Katsuki noticed that their numbers had gotten smaller however, both Ochako and Iida noticeably missing.

"Oi, where's round face and four eyes? They run off to the bathroom together?" Katsuki asked, shooting a glance to the club below.

"They decided to call it a night, they were on their way home from work when you called so they were both pretty beat," Izuku explained.

"They went ho- why?! Ugh, that girl, she drags me here of all places and ditches before she's even kept her end of the bargain? Kch, if she thinks I'm classy enough to not blow up her phone she's got another thing coming-" Katsuki growled, already moving to grab his phone from his pocket. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Izuku took hold of his arm, his body unbelievably close as he pinned his hand against his pants. It was all too reminiscing of their position earlier, only this time Katsuki was the prey.

"The baby is tired Katsuki, she can't help that. What baby feels, mom feels. She organized all this for you and managed to get all of our friends together in just under a few hours. Please, just try being grateful instead of an ass for once," Izuku muttered, releasing the man's wrist when he was sure Katsuki wouldn't immediately pivot back to his original plan.

"Besides, it's getting late for me too. I asked her to call our ride too but you can stay as long as you like, Mina said she's able to drive you back out tomorrow," Izuku stated. Katsuki's face twisted in irritation as he quickly shook his head.

"Oh no. You're not leaving on your own. Just because you're not taking any of this school shit seriously doesn't mean I'm going to do the same," Katsuki warned.

"I'd be available to ride with Izuku. I stay at his estate often, it wouldn't be a problem," Shoto offered, only making Katsuki's anger rise higher.

"I'm non negotiable Icy Hot, ride with us or don't, Izuku and I are leaving together."

"I'll walk you out then," Shoto offered, kindly offering a compromise. Katsuki grunted, still not liking the implication the he couldn't exactly say that out loud.

It took more than a few long winded assurances to convince a rather tipsy Mina and Denki to let him go, but eventually they were all saying their goodbyes and splitting up for the night. As Ochako hadn't bothered to tell Izuku who was picking them up the three waited by the bar for confirmation that their ride had arrived. Katsuki watched Shoto from the corner of his eye, unsure why he was taking the time to send them off.

He'd lost Shoto's trust, that much was obvious, but it wasn't like a few minutes more at Izuku's side was going to change that.

Either way he was eager to see this night dead and buried.

When Izuku had made a quick stop at the bathroom Shoto remained close by, his eyes taking careful note of any wobble to Izuku's step or slur in his speech. It creeped Katsuki the hell out and just as he was about to say so Shoto turned those serious eyes on him.

"This is good actually, I'd been hoping for a minute alone," Shoto whispered, his tone nervous even as his face remained passive. Katsuki raised a brow as the man raised a hand to his neck, another subtle tick that gave away how truly uncomfortable with the situation he was.

"I've been thinking a lot about…what I said to you, what I…put on you. I…asked a lot of you Katsuki and I…I realize now that that wasn't fair. I…I wanted to apologize. I put an incredibly heavy burden on you and…that…that wasn't right. I'm…very sorry Katsuki. I hope…I hope that you know this isn't all on you to carry. You can trust it, trust him, with us, it doesn't have to be just you," Shoto whispered, close to stuttering as he forced him speech through.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Katsuki demanded, completely lost even as Shotos eyes widened in surprise.

"...what I said to you, after the battle. I…I know I should have apologized earlier, I had intentions to I just…you…you seemed happy….stable…and then, you were gone-"

"Shoto! Why do these places never have paper towels! And the waters always freezing!" Izuku whined, shaking his hands in dumb little waves to rid himself of the remaining droplets.

Whatever it was Shoto had planned to say it was dropped the moment Izuku returned. Shoto blinked before adopting a careful smile, the same genuine, warm, amusement that Katsuki had seen between them before.

"Here, I can dry them for you," Shoto offered, cupping his hands around Izuku's own. Izuku immediately melted in relief, his entire body shivering from the new source of heat around his hands.

Katsuki had to bite his nails in his skin to keep from tearing them apart.

The buzz of his phone was the distraction he desperately needed. Ochako had pinned directions to a nearby parking lot. In the whirlwind of events that night he'd almost all but forgotten who Ochako had sent to meet them and immediately the drop in his stomach returned.

"Alright, come on nerd, your chariots waiting on us," he muttered, breaking through their small barrier to grab hold of Izuku's arm and drag him toward the curb. To his credit Izuku seemed used to the treatment, easily following Katsuki's lead as he happily waved a goodbye to Shoto at the door. Katsuki wasn't sure if it was something residual from his good mood, or some assistance from the drinks he'd been consuming, but even when faced with prospect of returning to his isolated home with Katsuki Izuku seemed incredibly content.

It was the perfect time to try and pry some answers from him. His guard was down and his newly learned aversion to Katsuki's antics had diminished. He even looked quite pleased to be holding Katsuki's hand, making no effort to rip it away as Katsuki guided them through the street. He knew that he hadn't drank a magic potion, that the anger would still be there in the morning, but right now it was like he had gotten the old Izuku back, the Izuku that would have bent over backwards to keep him happy and to stay on his good side.

Maybe it was for that reason that Katsuki found himself not saying anything at all, just, holding his hand like it was something he was still actually allowed to do.

And maybe he walked a little slower than he had to, maybe he dragged out the time it took to cross those meager few blocks, and maybe it only made it worse when he realized that in a few seconds all of this would be taken from him too.

"Hmm, you know, Ochako never said who was driving us out that far, whose car should I even be looking for?" Izuku asked sleepily, slitting his eyes in concentration as he searched across the convenience store stalls. Katsuki's heart grew louder the closer that they got, his lungs growing tight, and painful. He didn't let it overtake him though, didn't allow it to show. He was the one who asked for this, he couldn't play the victim after getting exactly what he wanted. Still, nothing could have prepared him for the blow that immediately followed.

They both turned at the tone of the convenience doors opening, Izuku spotting the small figure that had triggered it far before him. He seized in shock, frozen in place as the growing source of his nightmares ran to them without hesitation, her small, unsure footing making small pitter patters against the blacktop. She was young, a toddler, older than the picture, but smaller than he thought she'd be. At the moment most of her was covered in a bright yellow puffer jacket, the strings pulled tight to shield the cold against her face. Even so her eyes glimmered with exhaustion, no doubt fighting off sleep so that she could ride with her mother on her exciting adventure.

Once she'd laid eyes on Izuku it had been over, for both of them, the girl barreling forward with a singular purpose while Izuku dropped to his knees, giggling pathetically at her cute jacket restricted waddle.

"Oh my god Mizuiro! What are you doing here?! It's so late, why are you- oh my god you look so cute in that jacket, like an adorable little baby Fatgum, who bought that for you- OOF!"

The girl lazily jumped into his arms, the small amount of weight enough to topple him to the ground. The little scrapes didn't bother him though, his toothy grin only growing larger as she patted her hands against his flushed cheeks. The two were completely absorbed in each other's world, with nothing else existing. Already Izuku was babbling on about his day, recalling everything from the coffee he'd ordered for breakfast to dancing with Wash and getting to feel Ochako's baby move in her stomach. Mizuiro listened intently, her eyes large, and eager, the way Izuku's had always been when they were young.

He couldn't shake how similar they both looked, how much of her was just a clone of him, even the blue in her eyes and faded freckles couldn't change that she looked exactly like-

"Mizuiro dear you know better than to run off like tha- Katsuki?! Oh my- what a wonderful surprise! Katsuki dear, how are you?!"

Inko.

Katsuki's head immediately snapped up as Inko hurried out the convenience store, balancing a shopping bag and abandoned toddler scarf and hat in her other hand. Izuku lifted himself from the sidewalk in turn, giving his mother a hearty wave.

"Sorry mom! She saw me before I got to the door, she just ran out from there," he called, rubbing the girl's small back with loving, gentle circles.

"Oh, it's alright Izuku. I swear, that girl, sometimes I think I need to bring a leash with me when I run errands with her, I'm not as fast as I was when you were a toddler," she bemoaned, opening up her arms with an ecstatic grin as she motioned for Katsuki to come closer.

"You didn't tell me Katsuki would be staying with you! Oh, look at you! You young heroes, always getting older every time I blink," she hummed, wrapping him in a tight embrace. Katsuki blinked in confusion, vaguely remembering that he needed to move his arms and return the hug. Inside however it was like all his processors had malfunctioned, caught in a frantic disbelief that looped within itself in a constant state of argument.

"It was kind of a last minute thing," he managed, "Uh- thanks for the ride auntie…"

"Oh, of course! I love driving out there and I've been on the night shift anyway," Inko answered.

"And…who is this…green haired little creature?" Katsuki posited, fighting the immediate derogatory insults that came to mind. By Izuku's knowing glare he knew what he'd come up with wasn't much better, but Inko didn't seem to care.

"Oh gosh that's right! You haven't been home since Mizuiro was born have you?!" she asked in shock.

"Well, she was a bit of a surprise, even to Toshinori and I. This is my daughter, Mizuiro, Izuku's baby sister! She's turning three this November, hates the taste of bell peppers, lives in her pajamas and, surprise surprise, is absolutely obsessed with superheroes!" Izuku hummed, giving the girls back a quick pat.

Katsuki might as well have collapsed right then and there from the sudden drop of the weight on his shoulders, but he managed to keep himself upright and collected.

His sister.

Of course the little girl had been his sister.

AND OCHAKO HAD KNOWN THAT THE ENTIRE TIME-

"God, does that mean All Mights gonna be changing diapers when he's like…a hundred?" he stuttered, not entirely the graceful entry back into their conversation that he'd wanted. Inko simply laughed, laying a hand on her cheek in embarrassment.

"Oh, no, it won't be as bad as all that. Besides, she's already been out of diapers for a bit. Raising a teenage girl in our age however is a different story," she laughed, gaze falling back to the child currently cradled in Izuku's arms.

Izuku used a hand to balance himself as he pushed up off the ground, the other keeping Mizuiro steady against his chest. She'd already made herself completely comfortable, her arms wrapped limply around his neck while she slept peacefully in the crook of his shoulder. Inko tilted her head to get a good look at her face, her eyes rolling in a tempered amusement.

"Is she really already asleep?" she asked in exasperation "I swear, you and Toshinori are the only things that can ever get her to settle. He's been gone for a conference for just two days and she's barely slept a wink!"

"You two can stay with us tonight if you want, I mean, you're driving all that way, you might as well," Izuku offered. Inko looked like she might join Mizuiro in sleep right then and there.

"Honestly that would be a blessing Izuku. I don't know how much more of her midnight escapades I can take. Are you sure it's alright though? I mean, it's not often Katsuki's actually here with you in Japan!"

Izuku choked back his immediate response, opening up the car door for his mother to move inside.

"Don't worry about that, I just changed the sheets a few days ago so it should still be clean, unless…Katsuki you didn't do anything weird in my parents room did you?"

Katsuki blinked, jumping at the out of field accusation.

"Hah?! Weird? Like what?!" he demanded.

"Like plant bugs or listening devices, or other, similarly nefarious things-" Izuku rambled.

"Why the hell would I do that?! Besides, what room are we even talking about?"

"The spare room on the main floor-"

"THAT'S your guest room? Why is it the biggest room in the damn house?!"

Inko giggled, shaking her head like she'd said the same thing a thousand times before.

"Oh Izuku has always gone overboard with his hospitality! He insisted on having a dedicated space on the ground floor when we found out we were having Mizu–"

"She's a baby Katsuki, you can't put a baby on the second floor, do you know how dangerous that is?" Izuku hissed.

Katsuki let out a tired sigh, quietly shaking his head.

Right, so the damn room wasn't even his to begin with. He'd effectively thrown himself into a spiral over nothing. It still didn't explain everything but he would by lying if he didn't admit it was a huge relief. An Izuku who wasn't a hero was an abnormality, but it was a fixable one.

An Izuku who loved someone else…

Already Katsuki laid out the steps of his revenge. Ochako would be getting an earful in the morning that was for damn sure. With a tired breath he took the shopping bag from Inko's hand and opened the back door of the car so they could get the kid settled. Izuku hummed happily as he placed his baby sister in her car seat, his face scrunching with effort as he overlooked the buckles and belts. Before Katsuki could ask if he needed help Izuku suddenly jumped to life, figuring out what has gone wrong.

"Safety first!" he whispered, unzipping the oversized puffer jacket and set it on the seat beside her. Katsuki watched from the corner of his eyes as he carefully arranged her into the straps, his brow raising as he recognized a very familiar, and very homemade, hero symbol sewn into her pajamas.

"Damn auntie, are you getting Dynamight samples before they even get to me? I don't think I've ever seen this merch before," he muttered in amusement. Izuku immediately went red in the face as Inko giggled, taking her place in the front of the car.

"I'm sorry I had to infringe on your brand Katsuki but even with your mothers connections I couldn't find anyone selling Dynamight clothes in her size! Izuku has everything else you've put out of course so I just tried to match it as close as I could,"

"...oh he does, does he?"

Izuku shot him an embarrassed glare but Inko continued on, completely ignorant of it.

"She's honestly going to be so disappointed she missed you, I think it's safe to say she's your second biggest fan! Izukus been showing her videos of your fights since before she could talk! Now she won't go anywhere without her Dynamight pajamas. Mitsuki just finds it hilarious," she giggled, grabbing something from the glove box as Izuku covered his face in embarrassment.

"Mom-" he whined.

"Oh Katsuki it's so cute, she even carries around your little doll everywhere she goes! Izuku's too of course! Thank goodness they're stitched together or we'd be looking for the other part of the pair daily! I think she'd go crazy if either of her little boyfriends got lost," she laughed.

"MOM-" Izuku yelped.

"Ah! Sorry honey! The dolls of course!" she nervously explained.

"That's what Mizu calls them, she's had them so long sometimes I forget they're actually based on real people! I don't think she really knows what it means, and she already is such a quiet child Toshinori and I really don't have it in us to correct her. I hope you don't mind Katsuki."

"That's alright auntie, you can let the kid say what she wants. Like you said, they're just dolls," Katsuki pressed, smirking at Izuku in amusement. Izuku kept stoic with embarrassed glare, clearly not wanting to start an argument in front of his mother.

Eventually as the car grew quiet Mizuiro shifted, her small, closed lids flickering with signs of distress. Her body urged to wake her, despite her obvious need for sleep. Izuku instinctively ran a hand across her head, gently moving his thumb from her forehead down her nose in a soft, soothing assurance. It looked so natural to him, like he'd been doing it all his life.

Katsuki had to admit that he was surprised. Izuku was good with kids, but he'd never exactly had any confidence in how he'd dealt with them. Mizuiro was clearly different. In the back of his mind he wondered if that assuredness hadn't come from his students, or if Mizuiro had given him the confidence to teach.

Either way the action only worked for so long. Every pause, every red light had her growing fussy and restless anew. With a check to make sure that Katsuki wasn't watching, which he was, just not openly, Izuku searched the car seat pocket before pulling out two stuffed wooden dolls, both extremely worn from use but obviously related to the set he'd found in Izuku's house. While he thought at first he had been completely excluded he could see now that his doll had simply been pulled out of rotation to remain at her side.

Unlike the other dolls both he and Izuku were wearing their older high school suits, their hands velcroed together in an obvious modification to the original doll design. Izuku tucked them between the girl's hands, her body recognizing the toy instantly as she brought it to her cheek, pinning the dolls beneath her sleeping head. The threat of wakefulness was gone, her comfort item allowing Izuku to reclaim his hand from her messy hair.

"What, no teacher uniform? Or does that come separately?" Katsuki teased.

Izuku's giddy mood vanished within an instant, his playful glare and embarrassed cheeks dissipating into the coldness he'd encountered that morning. Katsuki tightened, caught off guard by the sudden shift, but whatever he'd done wrong Izuku showed no interest in enlightening him. He physically turned his body away, practically shoving himself against the car seat so that he could create space between them. His hard eyes stared through the window, refusing to even acknowledge that Katsuki was in the car beside him.

It made the long drive drag even longer, the rough rock along the driveway feeling like an answer to a prayer.

Katsuki read the cue to leave him be as Izuku scooped up his sleeping sibling and walked his mother in to say goodnight. Katsuki placed her shopping in the fridge, caught between ignoring Izuku like he wanted or trying to resolve it and not go to bed angry. He wasn't sure he liked either option so he started with making them each a glass of 'special' water. Neither of them had that much to drink that night but he wasn't sure what kind of tolerance Izuku had, and he refused to deal with grumpy Izuku just because he had a hangover.

Eijiro and Aizawa's warnings trickled in the back of his mind, but his ego was stronger. If Izuku really had just fallen out of a hero's path then why did his questions bother him at all? Why give his sister a doll of him in a uniform he'd abandoned, why show her videos of hero's saving the day, of doing what Izuku had always swore they'd do together? It didn't add up, and by the time he heard Izuku's careful footsteps making their way upstairs he no longer had the self control to hold such a sentiment back.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he whispered. It was quick, and harsh, and sounded more like an accusation than he'd meant but it was the truth. When Izuku didn't answer he put the glass in front of him, urging him to drink. Izuku didn't bother looking up as he tipped it back, at least trusting him enough to not need ask what was inside.

"…what do you mean?" he finally breathed.

"I mean what the fuck changed? When I left you were dedicating an entire damn year of your life in the mountains to make sure you were the best hero possible when you came back down. You were supposed to be my rival. You were supposed to be All Might's successor. You were SUPPOSED to be the symbol of peace. Fuck Deku, you were handed the world's strongest set of quirks on a silver platter and look what you're doing with it!" he slammed a hand against the counter, unable to keep the burning anger in him quiet any longer. Izuku just kept staring at his glass, pensive, and unfeeling.

"All Might trusted me to do what was right with One For All. We achieved what it was made for, we defeated All for One. We ended the war. We made people believe in heroes again. I did everything that was expected of me- and more. I know that you don't understand but you have to trust that I'm doing the best that I can," Izuku breathed.

"The war isn't over! All of our friends put their lives on the line every single day to keep this shitty grip we have of peace and you, you're doing nothing? When's the last time you even used your quirk?! What happened to the Deku who won the war of heroes, who threw himself into training day and night so that he could be better, who gave up everything for a chance at being a hero, even when everyone else told him to stand down! Look what fucking comfortable has made you! It's disgusting!" Katsuki hissed, his heart throttling with the sudden surge in his voice, his better judgment and sense once again lost in the sea of blinding red in front of him.

"You don't have any reason to be yelling at me Katsuki. I'm not you. I'll never be you. You're right. I'm not a hero. I do what's necessary to keep my students and myself safe. That's who I can help, that's who I can save, that's who I'm going to focus on," Izuku shot back, firm, but controlled. Katsuki's hands nearly cracked the granite with how tightly he held it in his fist.

"You gave up. We were supposed to be competing to be number one. It was our dream. It was our reward for surviving all that shit the league put us through, it's the way we stop everyone from rolling over and forgetting what was done, what our friends and teachers died for. For fucks sake, it's why we become heroes! But you just…just took it away! What? It wasn't enough to just give up on our dream? You had to ruin it for everyone else too? You gave up on everything! Dismantled it like it was nothing and fucked off to play teacher with pipsqueak nobodies and their useless quirks!"

That seemed to trigger a response, Izuku's quiet collected calm now replaced with a seething vengeance. He slammed the cup down on the counter, cracking through the bottom of the glass. Katsuki stepped back, that aura of death, of malice, overtaking the entire room. In the dark Katsuki could make out the sparks in Izuku's eyes, the trickles of One For All threatening to escape in a lapse of control.

"…respectfully Katsuki…you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about," Izuku hissed.

"Then tell me! Tell me so I can understand!" Katsuki pleaded.

"No."

Katsuki's brows knitted in confusion, unused to Izuku's sudden defiance.

"What?"

"You…are not entitled to an explanation. I don't have to explain anything. In case you've forgotten you were the one that has been gone for five years, you were the one who needed to cut contact so that you could focus on your hero work, you were the one who decided that I was a distraction. So…no. Whatever answer you're trying to goad out of me isn't going to work. I…don't owe you…anything anymore," Izuku breathed, the aura slowly subsiding, his mind returning. It was only then that he noticed the glass digging into his palm and the slick of blood trickling down his arm. He let out a heavy sigh, tossing the glass in the trash before running his hand beneath the sink. Katsuki grabbed a towel, moving to pin the cloth down along the cut.

"I was gone because I knew that more was needed of me. I left because the way I was five years ago wasn't going to be able to keep anyone safe. Being a hero consumes everything that I do. It is everything I am. I gave up everything to do this-" Katsuki began.

"You did. Everything and everyone. And that was your choice, Katsuki. No one ever asked you to do that," Izuku concluded, grabbing the towel from Katsuki's grip and wrapping it expertly along his arm.

"What?" Katsuki breathed.

"No one ever said you had to throw everything…everyone…away. No one ever told you you were weak or too reliant or selfish. No one thought you weren't strong enough. No one ever said shouldering the burden alone was a part of being a hero…and after years of fighting together, being strong together, you somehow still have it in your mind that having us- having me- around kept you from reaching your full potential. So don't act like that was out of your control, that you didn't have a choice…you decided we didn't fit into the kind of hero you wanted to be Katsuki…and because of that we both had to make some hard decisions- alone. My life didn't just stop when you left, the pain didn't just stop when you weren't around. I had to make the hard calls without you, and I'll have to continue doing it long after you're gone. You don't get to tell me that my choice was wrong, not when you were nowhere to be found when I had to make it. I am doing the best that I fucking can…so don't act like you're going to be here to help with the pieces after you've broken me down. I'm not going to fall for it, not again," Izuku hissed, tossing the bloodied towel into the sink.

Katsuki struggled to see past the frustration, past the need to scream and yell and fight until he got his way. Izuku needed none of that. He'd written off fixing things with Katsuki a long time ago, and it showed. Without another word Izuku turned to go down the hallway, walking past Katsuki's temporary home and to the locked door he was barred from earlier. Katsuki hurried to follow, but the words to fix things, to make them better were still long from reach.

"I don't have to be here you know! I'm here because I'm trying!" he growled, and Izuku merely let out a sigh.

"Then leave Katsuki. You're good at that."

The door slammed in his face before he'd even realized that it had opened, and Katsuki was left, alone, in the ever growing dark.