"That's a new look," I said when I saw Clarice.
"Does it not suit me?" she asked worriedly as she spun around.
Clarice had been the very definition of a prim and proper lady. She had previously preferred fluttering dresses that weren't particularly ostentatious and more ornate hairstyles.
She had foregone such a gentle demeanor. She now allowed her hair to hang fully over her shoulder with it tied up at the end. This also drew attention to the black choker on her neck, contrasting with the pristine skin. She also opted for my simplistic clothing that hugged her body more with a bit of cleavage peaking from her white sundress. She also wore a light green jacket
It was a rather bold image for a noble, something normally reserved for certain dresses to flaunt one's wealth, but I could see the appeal.
"It looks nice on you. It's just quite a shift from your previous style. I was wondering why."
Clarice pouted at me.
"Not you too. Leon said the same thing. I swear you two are trying to read into things."
I leveled her a unimpressed stare.
"So, why the shift?"
"Heh, I suppose it wouldn't have fooled you."
"I can assure you that Leon likely didn't fall for it either."
Clarice sighed but not out of frustration. She seemed almost pleased.
"I suppose he wouldn't. I still wish he could simply appreciate the work I put in for what it is."
"So is this about catching Leon's eye or separating yourself from the you that chased after Jilk?"
Clarice winced.
"Admittedly, a bit of both."
"You shouldn't let Jilk influence your decisions nor the manner in which you see yourself."
"Easier said than done. I just spent so many years chasing after him. So much of my life revolved around him. To have that ripped away... even when I want to have nothing to do with him... I'm just at a loss at times."
I took on a sympathetic look.
"Perhaps I was overly pushy. I just want to make sure that you made this change because it is most comfortable to you."
"... It is... I think?"
"Talk to me. What lead to this wardrobe change?"
"... Looking in the mirror, I'm constantly reminded of how everything I had done was for him. How I dressed, how I talked, and how I acted. It was all to become his ideal woman. So much so that I began to wonder where Clarice started and where the doll began."
I sucked in my breath. I suppose birds of a feather do flock together.
Ignoring my reaction, Clarice continued, "So in a fit, I tossed aside much of my wardrobe. So much of it felt so unappealing... so tainted to me now since I recalled how many of them were to catch Jilk's eye."
"So you opted to go in the opposite direction?"
"Fortunately not. Going from one extreme to another is simply letting Jilk control me still. No, these clothes feel comfortable to me. I like how they feel, and the fact that they are eye catching is pleasant."
"... Eye catching for Leon?"
"... I'm pathetic, aren't I? Even when I try to live for myself, I'm still trying to impress a boy..."
"... I wouldn't say that. Would you still be comfortable in the clothing even if you weren't trying to catch Leon's eye?"
"... Yes?"
"Are you saying it or asking?"
"Yes. I do find think the clothes to be fitting."
"Then all is fine. The fact that Leon probably can't take his eyes off of you is just a bonus."
"And how are you so sure that Leon couldn't look away?"
"Leon, as much as a gentleman he tries to be, is very honest about his preferred bodytype," I said while looking at Clarice's chest.
We both giggled.
"So I hear Leon has been a frequent visitor as of late," I pressed impishly.
"Yes, to think he would treat me to tea in my own home."
I blinked owlishly. I had expected Clarice to gush about how he was a natural on an airbike or how she was able to wrap her arms around him to teach him. Leon had mentioned spending time on the Atlee track for the break.
This, however, was... this was something really only done between the engaged. It was like declaring that Clarice's home was the same as his.
I sighed as I came to a certain realization.
"Leon really has zero clue about the implications, doesn't he?"
Clarice giggled.
"Indeed, though Father didn't seem inclined to call out the behavior."
"With Leon's recent promotion and accolades, I doubt he would have issue."
Let alone being the one to console Clarice. The man was probably relieved Clarice was falling for a man with a proven record of acting on her behalf. Lord Atlee likely cared little for status at this point.
"Ah, yes. Speaking of which, are you sure you are okay having me teach Leon the ropes regarding having vassals?" Clarice said with an odd expression.
"Between the two of us, you are the one with more experience," I said with complicated feelings.
I had never been good at managing them. In my previous life, I had mistaken sycophants for actual vassals. Snakes who had utilized my family's name to act out. None had truly cared for me. Not even my childhood friends.
In comparison, Clarice had many truly loyal to her. It was no secret many would have died for her. The only reason why her followers had not volunteered previously was due to Clarice having already accepted the end of her engagement. By the time I had issued the duel, her followers in my year had no reason to care.
What love she had held for Jilk had long vanished by that point.
"Angie?"
"Apologies, I was lost in my thoughts. Could you repeat that?"
Clarice gave me a concerned look.
"Is the palace pressuring you?" she asked.
Yes, but for some reason, I felt that wasn't what she was asking.
"In what way?"
"Does the royal family disapprove of your friendship with Leon?"
"What brought that on?" I asked with an inward wince.
"It's just... Leon felt like you've been distant ever since you've had your talk with the Queen."
I hated myself. I knew I had been acting unfair towards Leon with barely an explanation. I saw the disappointment in his eyes when I had directed him towards Clarice.
"It has nothing to do with Mylene. My mind has been rather scattered as of late. Our stunt is... contentious. Even though everyone does ultimately support us, there are still troublesome opportunists. I'd much rather not heave this particular trouble on Leon. He was rather emphatic in his distaste for the politics, but knowing Leon..."
Clarice took on an understanding look as she said, "He'd take on such burdens. He is rather a busybody when it suits him."
"Indeed, but I still should have explained that to him when we last talked instead of leaving him in the dark."
"I'll pass on the message for you then."
"Thank you. It'll only be until the end of the break."
I should be able to reign in my emotions by then.
I looked at the list of names Clarice had provided at the end of my visit. Several of her followers were still single and would at least be open to talking with Dorothea.
I would still have to vet them. While I didn't know what Dorothea specifically wanted, I could at least weed out the hopeless cases. This meant I would have to spend a considerable amount of time.
At least no one could say I wasn't putting in the effort.
In any case, I was concerned from just a cursory glance. Many of the names belonged to baron and viscount families. Part of my mind already wanted to write them off. While I had noticed that Clarice's followers generally had more backbone compared to the average boys I've come to know, they likely would try to appease Dorothea due to the difference in status. And those who would potentially interact her, well the boys might since walk away due to having a backbone.
Honestly, now that I think about it, I could probably narrow down the criteria a bit. Barons and viscounts were no good due to the power dynamic. This limited my search to counts and higher... which was unlikely to work since Dorothea, despite her personality, was a desirable woman.
Well, if nobles were out, who could I reasonably choose?
Leon?
I couldn't help but snort over the stray thought. Leon could be what Dorothea was looking for in a man, but she'd scare him off. Leon still desired a conventional romance.
I could just imagine it. Dorothea presents him a dog collar and instills fear into him. In his fear, he acts in a manner that he thinks would push her away. By being confrontational. Except, he doesn't push it far enough and sits in the sweet spot. Gets dog collared anyway.
What a cruel fate that would be for him.
Ugh, why did Dorothea have to be so difficult? She basically ruined her marriage prospects by being so ignoble in her approach.
... Ignoble?
So what about non-nobility? Baronets could be respectable enough. Plus, many might not be beholden to the noble rank if Leon's initial attitudes were anything to go by.
... Er, perhaps it would be best to ask Deirdre her opinion first. No need to accidentally make an enemy of the Roseblades by jumping the gun.
Side Plot: Clarice
I quietly mulled over the situation. While Angie's visit had been pleasant, it did bring up doubts in my mind.
Angie, according to both Leon's perceptions and Angie's seeming support for me, was not romantically interested in Leon. Despite these assurances, I could not shake off the feeling that she was interested in Leon beyond mere friendship.
While nothing suggested anything scandalous, it was the small things that built up in the back of my mind.
Leon hung on her every word. He seemed to look towards Angie first whenever he was unsure of something. The way he approached noble topics, while inline with his general beliefs, had a noticeable influence on them. And when Angie finally relegated a task to me, he looked like a wet cat.
Angie, similarly, did not seem enthused about sending him my way. She very logically determined I was better equipped to teach Leon, even if it was a load of hogwash. She also seemed to imply that she was hoping more would have happened between Leon and me. Despite that, I could tell it had pained her to turn Leon away. It was like she was letting go of a...
I shook those thoughts away.
I was reading into things too much... or, perhaps, not enough. While Angie was fairly sociable, it was easy to tell it was out of duty. She was charismatic and drew the line there for the mass majority. The number of people she was truly close to was sparse. Outside of her family and her servants, she only seemed relaxed with Leon and me.
I doubted she was close to Deirdre.
I had known Angie didn't let others in close, but I never really thought about the implications. Was she simply so reliant on Leon as her source of friendship that being shared or even supplanted was terrifying for her? It would make some sense, especially if her sense of what true friendship was is warped as I think it is.
Yes. That must be it. It would fit in with the fact that she had assessed so many and obly believed Leon to be worth interacting. Her sense of what is the minimum for friendship must be twisted.
Perhaps, I should spend more time with her. I'm sure it would put her at ease. It would be the least I could do for her.
AN
1) Finally got this chapter done. Honestly, feels more like filler. That's probably why I never feel like I wanted to publish this for so long. Meh. Next chapter will have more interesting content... I think.
2) Personally, I feel like Clarice's section was the more interesting part because it kind of shows how some people view Angelica. It is also rather inline with my own experiences in defining relationships at times. More along the lines that I expect more than what most people do, but I do fully recognize that going about life with my perception of what is necessary for a friendship is self inflicted pain at times since friendship circle is smaller. I'm trying to be better about it.
Review Response
reality deviant: A little bit due to politics and a little bit due to actually wanting a better relationship. In canon, Julius disliked Angelica due to what she represented and generally thought she only cared for the throne. Angelica in this fic, by actively pursuing her dreams and not being a suck up, is far more interesting. While not necessarily endeared due to being snubbed, it is one of those situations in which Angelica can be 'turned around' versus something immutable.
MysticRising: Regarding the trope, yeah. But canon Julius is pretty clear that he just wants to be treated as 'normal'. While general ambivalence is hardly normal, at least it's not being only addressed by his title. Actually, now that I think about it, did Angelica ever address Julius by name before the duel in the actual canon? If not, I might have to give Julius some slack... very minimal mind you.
