Author's note: Hey everyone, long time no see. If you're reading this around the time I posted this chapter, you know I haven't updated this fic in years. I wanna apologize for that. Life got in the way. I'm going to try to keep a semi-consistent schedule with this fic where I update it every 3-4 months (only reason that there's a decent span between chapters is that I primarily want to focus on my fic 'Soldier of Hope'). I'm hoping that by setting this schedule, it'll help me get back into the swing of things.
Anyways, as always, I encourage you to follow me on Instagram at fire_slash_fanfiction. I post updates and answer DMs.
There's more I wanna say, but I'm leaving that stuff for the end since it deals with this chapter.
Anyways, enough of my blabbering. Let's get to what you've been waiting for. Review and enjoy :-).
0000
"Argh!" Crumbling up the piece of paper he had been writing on, Hajime tossed it into the small trash can he kept in his room, one that was slowly becoming filled with paper balls. Somehow, writing what should've been a simple poem was proving to be far more challenging than he expected. It took him half the time to complete his homework compared to the amount of time he spent trying to write.
"Why can't I do this?" Slouching in his seat, the boy decided to take a short breather.
'What am I missing?'
Hajime glanced at his trash can.
'Maybe I need a better subject? But I've tried writing about food, the ocean, the sky, and a whole lotta other crap… What else am I supposed to write about?'
The boy sighed. Monika had mentioned that he should treat this as a writing exercise, yet here he was, stressing out. He did not want to look like a fool to the girls, all of whom he assumed were writers themselves. He accepted that whatever he turned in wasn't going to match their poems in terms of quality, but still, he wanted to show that he at least put some effort into whatever it is that he writes.
'How the hell am I struggling so much? Damn, am I really that dumb?'
A small frown made its way onto Hajime's face.
'Here I go again…'
He really hated it when his insecurities decided to pop up, eager to drag him into the endless abyss that was self-doubt. Whenever he got into a funk, it made it more difficult to accomplish anything. It was a never-ending cycle; do something, struggle, become depressed, fail even more, rinse and repeat.
'Emotions suck...'
The boy continued to slouch on his chair, his feelings occupying his thoughts. He remained like this for what felt like a few minutes.
'You must be willing to open up to your readers, exposing your vulnerabilities and showing even the deepest reaches of your heart.'
With Yuri's words suddenly echoing inside his mind, the boy felt the gears in his head start to turn.
"Opening up…"
The idea of people using writing as a means of expression was a sentiment that Hajime's heard about numerous times. When writing his poems, the boy took to trying to describe generic objects and scenery, a method that detached him from the poem. Perhaps the lack of emotion put into his poems was what's causing him to struggle.
"Can I do that?"
He had no idea. He never gave it a shot. In fact, he hated thinking about his emotions. Something about doing so repulsed him. Whenever he paid them any attention, it only made things worse. Stress turned into anger, sadness into depression, self-pity into bitterness, etc. It was yet another unhealthy cycle of his.
As for talking to other people about them, there wasn't anyone he could talk to even if he wanted to. He had no real friends and his parents were never around as they traveled constantly for work, only ever coming home for about a month or two per year. He couldn't even remember what his last conversation with them was about…
… Life was a lonely journey for Hajime.
'But it doesn't have to be.'
The literature club was a chance for him to turn things around. The hope of bonding with new people was why he joined the club to begin with.
'Now that we have a new member, I think it will help us all get a little more comfortable with each other.'
Monika's words rang true. This exercise was meant as sort of an introduction, one that could potentially lead to him making some new friends. Plus, based on how Natsuki and Yuri reacted when the assignment was proposed, the girls were probably just as nervous as he was about sharing their own poems.
Sitting up, Hajime felt a brief spark of motivation flow through him. He was ready to begin writing again.
'Now what should I write about?'
Tapping his pen to his chin, the boy began thinking to himself. He definitely didn't want to come off too strong, so he didn't want to write about anything super deep. However, he still wanted to write something meaningful, something that showcased to the girls he took the exercise seriously.
Eventually, a thought wormed its way into his mind. Pen touching the paper, he began to write.
0000
Another Face
He walked amongst them
But they ignored him
For they were extraordinary
And he was only another face to be forgotten.
Their eyes were shining stars
Giving life to all they see
His eyes were dull voids
Empty and uninhabitable.
Their mouths make melodies
Songs able to be heard across the world
His voice was but a whisper
One drowned out by the wind.
They were rocket ships
Able to soar to great heights
He was a bird chained to the ground
Unable to fly no matter how hard he flapped.
They moved with purpose
Like angels giving out blessings
He was a phantom
Adrift, aimless, hollow
Made to haunt the same graveyard forever.
He wished he was them
So full of life and potential
Instead he was another face in the crowd
Never to be seen
Never to be heard
Destined to be forgotten…
0000
Get up, have breakfast, go to school, sit in class for a few hours, eat lunch, sit in class again until the final bell rang, and return home to an empty house; such was what a typical day looked like for Hajime.
Most of the time, the only thing he had to look forward to was the weekend where he could sleep in late. If there was one advantage of attending the Reserve Course over any other school, it was that he had two day weekends instead of the usual one day weekends most schools in Japan followed.
However, today there was something else he could be excited about, his first real day at the Literature Club.
'I should've joined a club sooner.'
Sure, the club wasn't a magical cure for his emotional state, but if yesterday was to go by, it offered him a nice break from reality. Hopefully it continued to do so.
It was unfortunate that none of the girls were in his class though, and it sucked that they didn't share the same lunch period as him. He would've liked to further socialize with them, perhaps break some of the ice that was still there from him being the new member, but beggars can't be choosers.
The moment the bell rang, Hajime wasted no time and began making his way to the club room. Last thing he wanted was to make the girls wait for him.
'Why does the club have to be on the other side of the school?'
Between the distance of his destination and the fact the halls were filled with his fellow students, it took the boy longer than he liked to arrive at the classroom.
Sighing in relief that he no longer had to maneuver through a tsunami of bodies, the boy grabbed the handle of the door. Before he could turn the knob, a wave of nervousness splashed across him.
'Hopefully they don't completely hate my poem.'
Once more, his insecurities were catching up to him, but this time, he refused to even entertain such thoughts for long.
'Quit it already. Monika said it's only an exercise. If it's bad, then I'll just ask how I can improve.'
Not wanting his new sense of vigor to vanish, the boy gently opened the door and entered the classroom. A quick survey of the room and Hajime was able to confirm that he was the last one to arrive. He managed to spot all of the girls… with the exception of Sayori. However, judging by the fact her backpack was on one of the desks, it was clear she was around somewhere, most likely taking a bathroom break if he had to guess.
Monika, standing near the teacher's podium once more, was the first to greet him. "Hi again Hajime. Glad to see you didn't run away from us. Hahaha!"
"Don't worry, I wasn't thinking about doing so," Hajime told her.
Yuri, who wasn't far away, softly smiled at the boy's words. "Thanks for keeping your promise Hajime. I hope this isn't too overwhelming of a commitment for you."
The boy shook his head at the girl's statement. "It's not. I'm ready for whatever you guys throw at me."
"Well, don't think this is the sort of club you can barge into just to hang out!"
Both Yuri and Hajime turned towards Natsuki, the girl sitting at one of the desks further in the back of the room. Just like yesterday, she was shooting a hardened stare at the boy.
'Still?'
Seeing as his eyes were on her, the shorter girl stood up and continued speaking. "Like I said yesterday, if you don't take us seriously, then you won't see the end of it."
Before he could even reply, Monika decided to intervene, a cheeky smile adorning her face.
"Natsuki, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps her manga collection in the clubroom."
Those words were enough to make Natsuki go from critically staring at him to becoming a flustered mess. "M-M-M-"
It took the poor girl a bit to recompose herself enough to the point that she could speak once more.
"Manga is literature!"
With that, she plopped back into her seat, refusing to look at anyone due to her embarrassment.
'I don't see why having a manga collection's anything to be embarrassed about,' Hajime thought to himself. Unless the girl was secretly reading Hentei, then having a manga collection wasn't something he found to be bizarre enough to warrant such a reaction.
Once more, he decided to throw her a bone. "Trust me Natsuki, I'm taking this seriously."
Though she still refused to look at anyone, his words did seem to help her calm down a bit. "Hmph! You better be…"
"I believe you Hajime!" A cheery voice coming from behind him said.
"Gah!" Startled, he turned around and came face to face with Sayori, a radiant smile plastered across her face. "Where'd you come from?!"
Unfazed by Hajime's reaction, the girl answered his question. "The bathroom. I got back when Natsuki started grilling you."
'Looks like I was right.'
"Ah, but forget that!" Sayori swiftly positioned herself so she was facing both Yuri and himself. "Yuri, didn't you get Hajime something?~"
Now it was Yuri's turn to become a nervous wreck. "W-wait! Sayori…"
Meanwhile, Hajime was surprised by what Sayori had said. The fact Yuri went out and got him something wasn't a gesture he expected to receive. "Eh? Me?"
"Um…not really…"
Not even noticing the nervousness of the purple haired girl, Sayori gave her a gentle nudge. "C'mon, don't be shy~"
"It's really nothing…"
Hajime's curiosity only grew. "What is it?"
"…N-never mind!" Yuri quickly looked to her left. "Sayori made it a big deal when it was really not."
The girl's body began shaking like a leaf as she began mumbling under her breath, something both Hajime and Sayori noticed. "What do I do now…"
Seeing her friend in such a state caused Sayori's smile to instantly vanish. "Eh? I'm sorry Yuri. I wasn't thinking…"
With the mood now down, Hajime decided to try to fix the situation. Turning to Yuri, he shot the girl a reassuring smile.
"Hey, I wasn't expecting to get anything from you. The fact that you even thought about me and chose to get me something already makes me happy. Whatever it is that you got me, I'll certainly like it."
Thankfully, that was enough to calm Yuri down, though her face was still red. "I-is that so…"
Hajime rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah. You getting me something is probably one of the nicest things someone has done for me."
"You're exaggerating-"
'I'm really not.'
"-but here."
Opening her bookbag, Yuri pulled out a book and handed it to Hajime.
"I didn't want you to feel left out, so I picked a book that I thought you might enjoy. It's a short read, so it should keep your attention, even if you don't usually read."
Once more, Yuri's posture shrank. "And we could, you know, discuss it if you wanted…"
Hajime stared at the book, amazed. The fact that Yuri took the time to look for a book she thought he would like, the fact that Yuri even thought about wanting him to feel comfortable within the club in the first place, it was all enough to make him feel as if he was going to cry tears of joy.
…He truly was lonely, wasn't he? Even if it was still too early to call the literature club his friends, they've made him question how he even got through life without any in the first place.
"This really is one of the best things someone's done for me." Putting the book down, he gave Yuri the first sincere smile he's had in ages. "Thank you so much. I'll definitely read this and we can talk about it once I do."
A sigh of relief left the tallest girl's lips, her composure building up once more. "Whew. Well you can read it at your own pace. I look forward to hearing what you think."
With a nod, Hajjime watched as Yuri quickly returned to the desk she was sitting at earlier, pulling out another copy of the book she had given him. It didn't take long for her to get absorbed into her own little world.
Deciding to sit at a desk in front of the classroom, Hajime sighed. 'So…what now?'
The boy had expected Monika to kickstart the poem exchange by now, but such hasn't happened yet. Instead, all the girls seemed preoccupied with other activities.
There was Yuri with her book, Natsuki loudly rummaging through the closet, Sayori doodling on the chalkboard, and Monika…
'Wait? Where is she?'
Quickly surveying the room once more, Hajime couldn't find the club leader. How she managed to disappear in such a short time without him noticing was beyond him.
Curiosity consuming him, the boy decided to ask Sayori about Monika's whereabouts. "Hey, Sayori? Where did Monika go?"
"Oh, she went into the hallway to take a call," Sayori replied, turning around to face him.
With Sayori having moved away from the chalkboard, Hajime was able to get a good view of what she had been drawing. A small collection of stick figures occupied the bottom of the chalkboard, with various generic flowers accompanying them. While most of the stick figures lacked any sort of detail to them, there was one in the middle that had hair and a small bow. It didn't take a genius to know that this one was supposed to be Sayori.
Above the stick figures, there were several clouds, each with smiley faces, alongside a large sun, one which also had its own smiley face. Each of the faces were looking down at the stick figures. Otherwise, the background was completely barren.
'…I don't know how to react to this.'
Though he could tell that Sayori had intended the drawing to be innocent, it instead seemed like something that a child would draw in a horror movie. Every eye she drew only consisted of two circles and a dot in the middle, making everyone look more like walking corpses than actual people. The smiles on the stick figures, clouds, and sun were a bit too exaggerated as well, almost as if they were forced to put on a happy face despite being afraid of something. Finally, it looked like Sayori had pressed the chalk a little too hard on the chalkboard. Whether she did so intentionally or not, the thickness of the lines helped make the picture's details pop out.
The drawing was unnerving, yet it felt like Sayori didn't even see what she had drawn. The more he looked at it, the more it creeped him out.
"Hehe! Monika's always very busy."
The sound of Sayori's voice broke him out of his trance. Embarrassed that he was thinking way too much about a simple doodle, the boy decided to quickly get his mind off the topic. "I imagine she is."
Sayori nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! She's always got something going on. Like, I know that after the club ends on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, she tutors a foreign exchange student in Japanese. And after that, her day still isn't over."
"Club management, tutoring, school… she's able to manage all of that at once? As expected from a potential Ultimate," Hajime mumbled, though it was loud enough for Sayori to hear.
A question quickly popped into his mind. "You wouldn't happen to know what talent Monika's being scouted for, would you?"
"Nope!" Sayori shook her head. "Monika never told me."
"Ah…"
The girl tilted her head to the side. "You know, I did ask her about it once, but she never gave me an answer."
This took Hajime by surprise. Had he been in Monika's shoes, he would've been telling everyone who listened to him about how Hope's Peak was scouting him.
"She didn't?"
"Uh-huh! She totally dodged the question. I wanted to ask her again, but her face... I didn't think Monika could frown like that…"
Now Hajime was even more curious about Monika's talent. It was one thing for even a potential Ultimate to be modest about their accomplishments, but it was another thing for one to keep their talent a secret.
"Why doesn't she like talking about it?"
Sayori shrugged. "Ehehe, beats me! I just know it's a touchy subject, so try not to bring it up around her, alright?"
As much as Hajime wanted answers, he understood that he had no right to go around demanding information about someone's personal life. "I won't."
Before the conversation could continue, the sound of the door opening snagged the two teens' attention.
"Ah, sorry about that," Monika said as she entered the classroom, her cellphone in hand. "I had to take care of something real quick."
"Eh? Is everything ok?" Sayori asked.
A soft laugh escaped Monika's lips. "Ahaha, yeah, don't worry. The girl I tutor had to cancel our sessions this week and she just wanted to let me know. Turns out she's got a new homeroom teacher and her class will be doing some after school bonding exercises this week."
"Huh?" Once more, Hajime found himself stumped. It's been two months since the school semester started, so how is it that a homeroom teacher already needed to be replaced? Were they that bad at their jobs? Or did they suffer some sort of freak accident? "Can I ask what the story is there?"
Monika shook her head. "Honestly, I didn't pry for details, so I've got no clue."
Suddenly, her eyes lit up. "But enough about that! I think it's time to get this show on the road."
"Yay!" Sayori began bouncing on her heels, clearly excited to read everyone's work.
As for Hajime, he began to feel his muscles tighten. However, he couldn't deny that he also felt a spark of excitement flow throughout his body. Sure, he wasn't a poem fanatic, but this was the first time he was participating in a club event.
Noticing that both Yuri and Natsuki were still off on their own, Monika called out to them. "Ok everyone! Why don't we share the poems we wrote?"
Yuri slowly closed her book and pulled out a notebook before making her way towards them. It was evident to all that she was nervous with how her eyes darted around as she fiddled with her sleeves.
Natsuki was right behind her, a frown adorning her face. Arms crossed, it seemed as if she was trying way too hard to put up the façade of not caring. Instead, it clearly showed that just like Yuri and Hajime, she was also anxious.
As he waited for them, Hajime already began thinking about who he'd like to show his poem to first.
'Sayori seems like she's the least likely to obliterate me if she hates my poem, but Yuri seems to be the most experienced. Natsuki technically started this whole thing, and if I show her my poem first, maybe she'll warm up to me. Monika was eager to read my poem, and out of everyone, her opinion's the one that scares me the most, so should I bite the bullet right away?'
0000
It was a tough choice, but eventually his mind settled on Sayori. The girl's bright and kind demeanor was very welcoming for someone who had no idea what he was doing.
Pulling out his own poem, Hajime turned towards the orange haired girl. "Mind if I show you mine first?"
"Ooh, of course!"
Before Hajime could even blink, Sayori took his poem.
A moment of silence enveloped the two as Hajime watched Sayori read his poem. His muscles were getting tighter as he waited in anticipation for what she had to say.
After what felt like an eternity, the girl looked up and gave him a smile.
"This is a good poem, Hajime."
A loud sigh escaped his lips as he felt his body relax. "You think so?"
"Yeah. I can tell you put a lot of effort into it."
"Ah, thanks." Hajime rubbed the side of his head. "I spent a lot of time on it so I'm glad it wasn't trash."
Sayori's smile grew. "Ehehe, well I'd say the time was well spent."
Suddenly, her eyes widened. "Oh, I guess you'll read my poem now."
She handed him a crinkled paper. "I'm not exactly the best at this, but I hope you enjoy it."
With a hum of affirmation, the boy began reading the girl's poem.
Dear Sunshine,
The way you glow through my blinds in the morning
It makes me feel like you missed me.
Kissing my forehead to help me out of bed.
Making me rub the sleepy from my eyes.
Are you asking me to come out and play?
Are you trusting me to wish away a rainy day?
I look above. The sky is blue.
It's a secret, but I trust you too.
If it wasn't for you, I could sleep forever.
But I'm not mad.
I want breakfast.
Once he was done reading, Hajime looked at the girl. "I thought you said you weren't good at this."
The poem was very cute and descriptive despite its short length. If anything, it reminded him of some of the poems his grade-school teachers would often show him as an example of what poetry looked like. In short, it was well written to the point where it wouldn't look out of place in a poetry collection book.
A small laugh came out of Sayori's mouth. "I'm not!"
"This is better than mine."
"Nope!"
Hajime blinked at the girl's antics. "Are you messing with me?"
"No, no, I'm really not!" Sayori said, putting her hands up. "Once you read everyone else's poems, you'll see that I really don't hold a candle to them."
"…Alright." Seeing as arguing with her wasn't getting him anywhere, Hajime decided to change the subject. There was something about Sayori's poem he didn't understand. "So what's with the breakfast line?"
Compared to everything else she wrote, this line felt completely random, as if she couldn't think of a way to end the poem.
Sayori's posture shrank, clearly embarrassed. "I… sorta waited until this morning to write this."
How Hajime didn't even think about that being the answer was beyond him. "Ah. Now it makes sense."
He had to admit, he was impressed that the girl was able to write a good poem in such a short amount of time.
"Ehehe, yeah… not my best work." Suddenly, a fire ignited inside her eyes. "Tomorrow though, I'm going to write the best poem ever! Just you wait!"
Hajime cracked a smile. The girl's bubbly nature was definitely contagious. "I look forward to it."
0000
After finishing up with Sayori, Hajime decided that Yuri would be the next person he'd show his poem to. The girl gave off the impression that she'd give him constructive feedback, and if the poem sharing becomes a normal activity, then he'd like to get better at writing.
Locating the tallest girl, Hajime walked up to her. "Hey, do you wanna exchange poems? I don't really know what I'm doing so maybe you can help me out."
Yuri's eyes widened, surprised by the fact Hajime approached her. "Huh? You want my help?"
The boy nodded. "Yeah. Just go easy on me, alright?"
Getting over the initial shock, Yuri allowed a small smile to form on her lips. "Of course."
Gently grabbing the poem, the purple haired girl began to read. Compared to Sayori, Yuri took her time as she carefully analyzed what he had written. She spent a minute doing so, a minute that was agonizingly slow for the boy.
Unsure of why Yuri was taking so long, Hajime decided to check up on her. "Everything alright?"
The girl in question jolted upwards, startled. "Oh! S-sorry! I forgot to start speaking…"
'How does that even happen?'
Yuri began to fiddle with her sleeves once more. The act itself would've gone unnoticed by Hajime, but the intensity of which she rubbed her wrists and lower arms caught his eye. He decided to ignore it for now and focus on the poems.
"No worries, take your time."
"Thanks. I just need to put my thoughts into words…"
Once more he found himself waiting a few seconds for Yuri to find her footing.
"…okay. This is your first time writing a poem, right?"
Hajime suppressed a wince. "That bad, huh?"
"No!"
The boy nearly jumped out of his shoes. He didn't expect such a booming shout to come from Yuri of all people.
"…Did I just raise my voice?"
Though she was whispering to herself, Hajime was able to hear her. Unable to meet his eyes, the purple haired girl appeared to be absolutely mortified, acting as if she committed some sort of huge sin.
"Uuh… I'm so sorry…"
Not wanting the girl to beat herself over something that wasn't a problem to begin with, Hajime quickly tried to fix the situation.
"Hey, no worries. Everything's fine. You were startled."
Once more Yuri took a deep breath.
"…Yeah…"
Thankfully, the girl seemed to calm down due to his words. As such, Hajime decided to steer the conversation back to the poems.
"So what were you saying before?"
"Ah, right. The reason I asked about whether you've written a poem before is because there are specific writing habits that are usually typical of new writers."
Her posture shifting upwards, Hajime noted how she was reminding him of a teacher giving a lecture on something they were passionate about.
"Having been through that myself, I kind of learned to pick up on them."
Hajime nodded to signal that he understood her, which gave Yuri the 'ok' to continue.
"I think the most noticeable thing I recognize in new writers is that they try to make their style very deliberate."
…And now he was lost. "I'm not following…"
Yuri wasted no time in giving him an explanation.
"In other words, they tend to pick a writing style separate from the topic matter, and they form-fit the two together. The end result is that both the style and the expressiveness are weakened."
"Ah, now I get it."
The boy was quite surprised by the girl's demeanor. Not too long ago she was struggling to speak, and now here she was, teaching him about poetry without having to pause to find the right words.
"Of course, that's not something you can be blamed for," Yuri continued. "There are so many different skills and techniques that go into writing even a simple poem. Not just finding them and building them, but getting them to work together is probably the most challenging part. It might take you some time, but it all comes with practice, and learning by example, and trying new things. I also hope that everyone else in the club gives you valuable feedback. Natsuki can be a little bit biased, though..."
Hajime tilted his head at that last part. "Biased? How?"
Yuri's confidence quickly dissipated as her form began to shrink, once more fiddling with her sleeves.
"U-Um… Well… Never mind… I shouldn't be talking about people like that… Sorry…"
The boy was clueless about the context of Yuri's statement, but he wasn't going to ask her for answers. It was obvious to him that she no longer wanted to talk about the subject.
Instead, he decided to move the conversation back to poetry. "Do you mind if I read your poem?"
His words caused the normally shy girl to start beaming with excitement. "Please do! I'd love to share my thought process behind it…"
Taking Yuri's poem, the boy began to read.
Ghost under the light
The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.
Bathing.
It must be this one.
The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.
The last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green of the future.
I bathe. Calm; breathing air of the present but living in the past.
The light flickers.
I flicker back.
As he expected, Yuri's poem was eloquently written. However, Hajime had to take some time to read it again, its meaning lost on him. The poem was clearly a metaphor for something, but he was struggling to figure out what it was about.
He was about to go over it a third time, but he was interrupted by Yuri.
"I...I'm sorry I have such terrible handwriting!"
"What?" Hajime had no idea where she got that idea from. "Your handwriting's really pretty."
"But it took you a long time to read…"
"It's not because of your handwriting," the sole boy of the literature club assured her. "I was able to read it just fine, and I really like it. It was very descriptive."
Yuri sighed. "Ah, that's a relief. I was worried that the poem was too short. I usually write longer poems, but since it's our first time sharing, I wanted to write something a little more mild. Something easy to digest I suppose…"
'I really have a lot of catching up to do.' If this poem was what Yuri described as mild, then he'll need to learn to analyze poetry fast.
"I gotta admit, I think the metaphor flew over my head," Hajime confessed. "It has nothing to do with your writing, I just think it's because I'm still new to this…"
"Ah. Well, the fact you understood that this poem was a metaphor for something is a good start," the girl replied. "Remember that poets often express their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences in their work. They usually do more than tell a simple story, or paint a picture. In this case, as you already know, the subject of the poem is being symbolically compared to a ghost."
For a second, Hajime could've sworn that he saw a small frown on her face as she continued to speak. It left as quickly as it came though, making the boy question if he was just imagining things.
"Lingering in her last remaining place of comfort, unable to let go of the past. And soon to be left with nothing…"
Pondering the information Yuri had given him, his eyes lit up as suddenly everything began to click in place for him. "I think I get it now. Your poem's really impressive."
"It's nothing really…" Yuri shyly whispered. "But it makes me happy that you think that. Just remember that it won't be long before you pick up on these things, too."
Hajime nodded. "I think being in this club will help me get the hang of it… eventually."
Yuri smiled at his words. "I'm counting on you."
0000
With only two candidates left to pick from, Hajime decided to go to Natsuki next. Despite her skepticism about his intentions, she was still willing to read his poem.
"... Well, it's about what I expected from you."
His head tilted slightly due to the comment. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"What do you think?" Natsuki asked, crossing her arms.
"I don't know," Hajime said. "That's why I'm asking you."
"It's alright I guess," Natsuki replied. "Like, I can tell you at least tried, so good job, but it could be better."
The boy nodded. "So what's wrong with it?"
With a shrug, Natsuki proceeded to answer his question. "It really doesn't make me feel much. I can see what you were going for, but it's not strong enough."
"Ah." It was a fair critique, so he saw no reason to argue with her.
The girl sighed. "Well, I guess I'll need to show you mine… not that you'll like it…"
Though she mumbled that last part, Hajime was able to hear what she had said. "What was that?"
"Just read it."
Natsuki shoved the poem into his hands. With that, the boy began reading.
Eagles can Fly
Monkeys can climb
Crickets can leap
Horses can race
Owls can seek
Cheetahs can run
Eagles can fly
People can try
But that's about it.
Hajime bit his lip. Of all the poems he's read so far, this one certainly hit him the hardest despite its simplicity.
For all of his life, he's been trying, trying to be something bigger than he was currently. Yet, all of his efforts never went anywhere. He'd try and try again, desperate to climb the mountain in his way. But he'd fall down over and over. No matter how hard he tried, he would never soar-
"... I knew you'd hate it."
Blinking, Hajime snapped out of his thoughts. Turning his attention towards Natsuki, he noticed how she wasn't looking at him, eyes on the floor.
It seemed that his reaction to her poem gave her the wrong impression about how he actually felt about it.
"N-no, it's not that!" Hajime exclaimed. "I really liked it."
"Oh please, don't bother trying to lie-"
"I'm not."
Natsuki quickly looked back at him. The boy's stern tone caught the girl off-guard.
For a second, she analyzed his face, looking for any traces of deception. However, she couldn't find anything. The boy's face and body showed no signs of lying. As such, she allowed herself to look at him.
With her eyes now on him, Hajime decided to ask her a question. "Why are you so convinced that I wouldn't like it?"
"Well… because…" Natsuki clenched a fist. "Everyone in high school thinks that writing has to be all sophisticated and stuff… So people don't even take my writing seriously."
'Ah, now I get it…'
Though he could already tell from their first encounter, hearing Natsuki's explanation affirmed to him that she feared being judged by others. He could sort of relate to her dilemma seeing as he wanted others to acknowledge him as someone other than another face in the crowd.
"Why does that matter?"
The question caused Natsuki to stand upright. "What?"
"Why does it matter if your work's 'sophisticated'?" Hajime asked again, making the quote symbol with his hands. "We're not writing essays, we're doing poetry. I felt the message even without any sort of fancy mumbo-jumbo. Plus, isn't the whole point of writing to express yourself?"
Her posture shifted once more, surprising the boy. Compared to the defensive stance she usually wore when talking to him, this one was far more relaxed and normal. No longer did she weary around him, finally allowing her to relax around him.
"Yes! Exactly! You get it!" Natsuki nearly shouted, a gleeful smile forming on her mouth. "I like when it's easy to read, but hits you hard. Like this poem."
The girl pointed at the poem in question. "Seeing everyone do great things can be really disheartening…"
"You've got that right," Hajime wistfully said, looking down at the desk. Once more, the negative thoughts began filling in his head.
His shift in behavior didn't go unnoticed by Natsuki.
"…"
She could easily tell that whatever was flowing through his mind wasn't anything good. Rather than addressing it, the girl decided to continue speaking, hoping that by talking, she would distract Hajime from his thoughts.
"You know, one nice thing about simple writing is that it puts more weight on the wordplay."
Her words grabbed the attention of the boy, his eyes now on her. Noticing this, she pointed to the last line of the poem.
"Like I set up for a rhyme at the end, but then made it fall flat on purpose. It helps bring out the feeling in the last line."
"I see…" Hajime said before giving her a small smile. "Honestly, I think calling your writing 'simple' does it a great disservice. There's far more that went into this poem than I realized."
The praise caused the girl's eyes to twinkle with glee. "That's what it means to go pro."
A 'hmph' of pride followed. "I'm glad you learned something. Didn't expect that from the youngest one here, did you?"
"We're all freshmen…" Hajime pointed out. Natsuki was at most a few months younger than the rest of the club members, assuming she didn't skip a grade or two, so he had no idea why she was placing such an emphasis on her age.
Natsuki glared at him, clearly viewing things differently in that department. "S-shut up! You know what I meant!"
The boy wisely decided to let her have her moment. "Sure, whatever…"
0000
"Hi Hajime, having a good time so far?"
There was only one person left to share his poem with, and it was the person he was most nervous about. Despite her friendly demeanor, Monika still intimidated him. The fact she was a potential Ultimate made the boy feel so small whenever he spoke to her. This was a girl who could potentially become a future leader of the world, and he was just… him.
Putting those thoughts to the side, the boy answered her question. "I'd say so. I'm learning some stuff so I think everything's going well…"
Monika smiled at his words. "Good! Glad to hear it. By the way, since you're new and everything, if you've got any suggestions for the club, such as new activities or things we can do better, I'm always listening. Don't hesitate to bring things up, okay?"
…As if he'd ever offer input as to how a potential Ultimate runs their club.
"Sure…"
If Monika noticed how halfhearted his answer was, she didn't show it.
"Anyway, want to show your poem to me?"
"Ah, yeah." Whipping out his poem, he handed the paper to the girl. "It's my first shot, so go easy on me, alright?"
Monika giggled. "Ahahaha! Don't worry Hajime, we're all a little bit embarrassed and nervous today, but it's that sort of barrier that we'll all learn to get past soon."
He didn't know if it was because of the gentle tone she used when she spoke, but her words managed to calm his nerves a bit.
"Yeah, you're right."
Flashing him one more smile, the girl started skimming through his poem. Though she definitely took less time than Yuri, the remaining amount of anxiety boiling up inside of him made it feel like he'd been waiting for hours for her to finish.
Eventually, she did, lowering the paper so she could look at him.
"I like it, Hajime."
The boy wanted to make sure he heard that correctly.
"Really?"
Monika nodded. "Yeah. For a first-timer, this is pretty good."
"Thanks." Hajime couldn't help but feel a bit of pride due to her praise. "Anything I can do to improve?"
Tapping her chin, the girl gave his question some thought before answering him.
"The only thing I can recommend right now is to try and find what writing style fits you the most. Each style has its own strengths and weaknesses, and depending on what style you choose, there's different things you'll want to focus on. This also goes for if your style ends up being a hybrid of other styles. For now, just experiment with different things and see what makes you most comfortable."
He could see why she gave him such advice. While reading everyone's poems, he noticed that they each had their own unique styles while his was simply average. Playing around with different techniques and forms of wordplay might help him find his own voice.
"Yeah, that makes sense."
"Everyone else might be a little biased towards their own kinds of styles," Monika continued. "But I'll always be here to help you find what suits you the most!"
Monika's offer caused a small smile to form on Hajime's face. "Thank you. I'll be sure to take you up on that."
The girl nodded at him. "Anyways, do you want to read my poem now? Don't worry, I'm not very good at this…"
'That's probably a lie.' He had a feeling Monika was being modest.
"Sure."
The girl handed him her poem, which Hajime immediately took to reading.
Hole in Wall
It couldn't have been me.
See, the direction the spackle protrudes.
A noisy neighbor? An angry boyfriend? I'll never know. I wasn't home.
I peer inside for a clue.
No! I can't see. I reel, blind, like a film left out in the sun.
But it's too late. My retinas.
Already scorched with a permanent copy of the meaningless image.
It's just a little hole. It wasn't too bright.
It was too deep.
Stretching forever into everything.
A hole of infinite choices.
I realize now, that I wasn't looking in.
I was looking out.
And they, on the other side, were looking in
"So, what do you think?"
Hajime put the poem down to look at her.
'What do I think?'
Just like Yuri's poem, he needed to reread it multiple times as its meaning was lost on him. Unlike Yuri's though, where he was able to guess that it was a metaphor, he had absolutely no idea what Monika was going for. He wanted to think that her poem was also a metaphor, but something in the back of his mind told him that he was wrong. He had no idea why, but this poem felt more direct, as if recounting events that had happened to someone.
Realizing that he was keeping Monika waiting, Hajime decided to answer her question. "I think it's well written, but I don't understand it. Sorry…"
Thankfully, Monika didn't seem offended by his answer. "Ahaha, no worries. I've been experimenting with a type of freeform style recently, so it's not as polished as I'd like it to be."
Seeing as he wasn't a poet himself, the boy was clueless about what she was referring to. "What kind of style?"
"This one's meant to place emphasis on the timing between words and lines," the girl responded. "When preformed out loud, it can be really powerful."
Perhaps the fact he didn't read it out loud was why he didn't understand it seeing as he wasn't getting the full experience the poem had to offer. "Ah, I get it. So what's the inspiration behind this one?"
"Ah…"
Monika's eyebrows furrowed as she began to think to herself. The boy couldn't help but notice her usually cheery exterior had disappeared, being replaced with one of slight confusion.
"I don't really know how to describe it…"
She took some more time to think.
"If I had to say… it's me reflecting on something…"
Hajime was confused. "A reflection?"
"Yeah…" she responded with a half hearted laugh. "It's something I don't feel comfortable talking about though…"
Hajime took this as a cue to drop the conversation. "No worries, I understand. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."
"I appreciate it." With that, Monika returned to her cheery self. "Anyways, here's Monika's writing tip of the day: sometimes when you're writing a poem - or a story - your brain gets too fixated on a specific point. If you try so hard to make it perfect, then you'll never make any progress. Just force yourself to get something down on the paper, and tidy it up later! Another way to think about it is this: if you keep your pen in the same spot for too long, you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink. So just move your hand, and go with the flow!...That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening~"
'Huh, maybe I can try that instead of just sitting there when I can't think of anything.'
0000
'I guess that's everyone,' Hajime noted to himself. After sharing his poem with Monika, the boy decided to go back to his seat and wait for everyone else to finish.
'I gotta say, it was nerve wracking at first, but I'm glad I did it. Everyone gave me good advice and they were pretty nice about it.'
Despite his inexperience, he did have fun sharing poems with the girls and hearing their thoughts about their own styles. He learned quite a bit today, both about poetry and the girls.
For a few seconds, Hajime sat at his desk, once more taking a look at Sayori's drawing. Just like last time, the more he stared at it, the more it freaked him out. As such, he quickly chose to take his eyes off the chalkboard and check to see what the girls were up to.
Turning around, he immediately noticed Sayori and Monika happily chatting, but he couldn't really hear anything they were saying due to them being on the other side of the room. The very little he could make out was them discussing their favorite writing styles.
His eyes then landed on Natsuki and Yuri, who were seated a bit closer to him. It looked like the two girls were in the process of reading each other's poems. Unlike with Sayori and Monika though, things between the two seemed dour. Even if he wasn't over there, he could tell Natsuki was frustrated by what she was reading while Yuri appeared to be disappointed.
"What's with this language?" Natsuki whispered to herself, her eyebrows furrowing further than they already were.
Yuri, who had been reading Natsuki's poem, looked up in confusion. "Um… did you say something?"
"Oh, it's nothing." With a sigh, she returned the paper. "I guess you can say it's fancy."
"Ah, thanks…" It didn't take a genius to see that Yuri could tell Natsuki didn't care for her writing. "Yours is cute…"
The pink haired girl balked at her words. "Cute? Did you completely miss the symbolism or something? It's clearly about the feeling of giving up. How can that be cute?"
"I-I know that!" The tallest of the girls replied. "I just meant…"
She paused, trying to find the right words to say.
"The language I guess…"
Yuri sighed in resignation. "I was trying to say something nice."
Clearly this was the wrong thing for her to say as it only fueled Natsuki's anger even more.
"Eh? You mean you have to try that hard to come up with something nice to say?" The shortest club member scoffed. "Thanks, but it didn't really come out as nice at all!"
'…Are they ok?' Hajime asked himself, only to immediately chastise himself for even bothering to ask. It was clear that things were not going well between the two girls.
'Should I step in?'
There was a part of him that wanted to, but another part of him felt that he'd just make things worse.
As he was contemplating, the two girls continued to argue.
"Um, well, I do have a few suggestions…"
"Hmph, if I was looking for suggestions, I'd ask someone who actually liked it, which people did by the way! Sayori liked it, and Hajime did too!"
Their volume was slowly increasing. How Sayori and Monika couldn't hear them was beyond Hajime's comprehension.
"So based on that, I'll gladly give you some suggestions of my own! First off-"
At this point, Yuri was tired of trying to appease Natsuki, so instead, she went on the offense as well.
"Excuse me, I appreciate the offer, but I've spent a long time establishing my writing style. I don't expect it to change anytime soon, unless I come across something particularly inspiring. Which I haven't yet."
The purple haired girl made sure to put more emphasis on that last sentence.
"Nn…" Judging by Natsuki's shaking, doing so had its desired effect.
"And Hajime liked my poem too, you know," Yuri continued. "He even told me he was impressed by it."
The boy winced upon hearing his name. 'Why am I even being brought up?'
A smirk suddenly appeared on Natsuki's face as she stood up. "Oh, I didn't realize you were so invested in trying to impress our new member, Yuri."
Picking what Natsuki was trying to hint, the shy girl blushed in embarrassment. "E-eh? That's not what I…"
A few incomprehensible noises later and Yuri was able to speak again. "You… you're just…"
She suddenly sat up.
"Maybe you're just jealous that Hajime appreciates my advice more than he appreciated yours!"
"Huh! And how do you know he didn't appreciate my advice more?" Natsuki pushed back as a means of trying to get the advantage again. "Are you that full of yourself?"
"I…" Yuri pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. If I was full of myself, I would deliberately go out of my way to make everything I do look overly cutesy!"
Natsuki growled as clearly a nerve had been struck.
At this point, the arguing had gotten so loud that it caught the attention of Monika and Sayori.
"Um… is everyone ok?" Sayori quietly asked, her body trembling slightly. It was easy to tell that the argument was making her uncomfortable.
Neither girl paid her any mind, too caught up with their fight to have heard her.
"Well you know what?!" Natsuki yelled. "I wasn't the one whose boobs magically grew a size bigger as soon as Hajime showed up!"
The boy in question's mouth dropped. 'What the hell's even going on anymore?!'
How did this day go from poetry to…whatever this was?
The comment was enough to make Yuri flush in embarrassment. "N-Natsuki!"
Monika tried breaking the two up. "Um, Natsuki, that's a little-"
"THIS DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU!" Both girls shouted.
Despite Monika being the one yelled at, Sayori flinched. "I-I don't like fighting guys…"
By now, the orange haired girl's body was shaking up a storm, having gotten even more distressed by the increasing intensity of the fight.
Suddenly, both girls turned towards Hajime.
'Ah crap…'
"Hajime… she's, she's trying to make me look bad!" Yuri stated.
"That's not true!" Natsuki countered. "She started it! If she could get over herself and learn to appreciate that simple writing is more effective… then this wouldn't have happened in the first place! What's the point in making your poems all convoluted for no reason? The meaning should jump out at the reader, not force them to have to figure it out. Help me explain that to her, Hajime!"
He wouldn't even get the chance to say anything as Yuri immediately clapped back.
"W-Wait! There's a reason we have so many deep and expressive words in our language! It's the only way to convey complex feelings and meaning the most effectively. Avoiding them is not only unnecessarily limiting yourself...it's also a waste! You understand that, right, Hajime?"
'Why the hell am I being brought into this?' The boy lamented to himself. Both Monika and Sayori were right there, why would they ask for the opinion of the guy with the least writing experience?
"Well!?"
Both girls glared at him, waiting for an answer. For a second, he glanced at Monika, who was standing to the side awkwardly. Next to her, he saw Sayori doing her best to keep herself stable.
Hajime frowned. For the sake of Sayori, he'll have to be the one to diffuse the ticking time bomb in front of him. However, he knew he had to be careful about how he responded. If he said the wrong thing, he could upset one of them, if not both.
Closing his eyes, he took a page out of Yuri's book and began to formulate the words he wanted to say. Reaching a state where he was at least somewhat confident in his words, he reopened his eyes.
"Look…" the boy began. "I barely know anything about poetry, so I can't say if there's an objective answer to your question."
Standing upwards, he made sure he made eye contact with both girls. "But why does it matter?"
The girls gawked at him, looking as if he had just grown another head.
"Isn't the point of this to express yourselves?"
"B-b-" Natsuki tried to interrupt, but he didn't let her, placing his eyes solely on her.
"Natsuki, your poem gets straight to the point and hits them hard at the end."
He turned to the taller of the two girls. "Yuri, you like painting pictures and experimenting with words."
He once more placed his attention on the both of them. "You both wrote to express yourselves and your styles reflect how each of you choose to do so. We've all got preferences, but I don't think it's fair to say one way is better than the other."
"…"
"…"
Both Natsuki and Yuri remained silent, each staring off to the side. Though they weren't looking at him, he could tell that they were seriously thinking about what he had told them.
Still, their silence was starting to worry the boy, causing his form to falter. "At least, that's what I think. Again, I don't know much about writing…"
Another moment of silence passed.
"…I'll go make some tea," Yuri quietly mumbled before making her way to the tea-set. Natsuki said nothing, choosing to silently sit back down.
Their continued silence only served to make Hajime worry more.
'Crap? Did I do something wrong?'
"That was well put, Hajime," Monika said, startling him. He honestly forgot she was here.
"… I wouldn't say that," the boy bashfully replied. "It still looks like they're upset."
"They're not," the club leader reassured him. "You've just given them something to think about."
"I'm glad you were able to stop the fighting," Sayori told him. "Thank you."
The boy shook his head. "It's nothing special…"
Monika frowned. "That's not true. I couldn't bring myself to interject, and I'm the club leader."
She then sighed. "To be honest, I might come off as a good leader, and I can organize things, but I'm not very good with people."
This was a surprise to hear. With how Monika interacted with the club and himself, Hajime believed her to have no struggles within the social department.
'Guess you can't judge a book by its cover…'
"Sayori's the best out of all of us when it comes to that stuff, and that's part of the reason I made her Vice President."
'Ok, that I did expect.'
Speaking of Sayori, the orange haired girl shot Monika a frown. "Monika, don't say things like that. You're a great leader!"
"Ahaha, I appreciate the compliment."
"So… can I ask something?" Hajime whispered to the girls, making sure neither Yuri nor Natsuki could hear him. Both of them nodded, giving the boy permission to keep speaking. "Do they always fight?"
"No, no, no," Sayori whispered back. "This is the first time I've seen them fight like that…"
"If I had to guess, I think it's because they both were trying to impress you," Monika chimed in.
The boy pointed at himself. "Me? Really?"
Monika nodded. "A new club member means a potential new friend. I think they are worried about what you think of them."
'Ah…' It made sense to him now as to why he was brought up in the argument to begin with. It also helped Hajime remember that he wasn't alone in his feelings regarding wanting to make new friends.
"You don't, you don't hate them… do you?" Sayori nervously asked him.
The boy had no idea where such a thought came from.
"What? Of course not. I just wanted to know if this is something I should expect from them."
Before Sayori could reply, Yuri arrived with a tray of tea.
"I, uh, made tea."
"Yay!"
Sayori's mood instantly shifted as she sat down, Monika joining her.
Hajime took a second to recover from the whiplash caused by the orange haired girl's mood change before taking a seat himself.
For a while, the five of them sat around, simply drinking tea in a comfortable silence.
Eventually, a buzzing noise disturbed the peace, a sound that was coming from Monika's phone.
Whipping out her phone, the club leader checked the screen. Turning off the alarm, she began to address her fellow club members.
"Okay everyone, it's just about time for us to leave. How did you all feel about sharing poems?"
Sayori beamed. "It was a lot of fun!"
Yuri placed down her teacup, taking a moment to think of a response. "Well…I'd say it was worth it."
"It was alright," Natsuki chimed in with a shrug. "Well, mostly."
Nodding at their answers, Monika turned to the sole boy of the club.
"What about you, Hajime?"
"I'll admit, I came into this extremely nervous," the boy confessed. "But I had fun. I definitely learned some stuff today."
Monika gleamed at his response. "Awesome! In that case, we'll do the same thing tomorrow. You all might've learned a thing or two from each other, so maybe you can use that stuff to improve your writing."
Sayori happily nodded while Yuri and Natsuki gave softer ones. Hajime nodded as well as a form of acknowledgment.
'Looks like I've gotta write another poem tonight,' the boy thought to himself. 'I don't know how it'll turn out, but I've got some new stuff I can try out.'
He shot a final glance at the girls. 'And maybe I can learn a bit more about poetry and about them.'
Once more, Hajime found himself looking forward to the next meeting, a feeling he gladly allowed himself to experience. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this excited about, well, anything.
A smile crept up his face.
'I think I can get used to this.'
0000
Author's note 2: Hey everyone, it's me again. I just wanted to briefly answer some questions you might have:
1. I know this chapter's very similar to Day 2 of Act 1. The story will steer away from cannon DDLC and Danganronpa as things progress. Right now, I'm just setting up the story, and part of that involves cannon being similar to DDLC until a certain point. Don't worry, that point will happen soon. Once it does, expect things to go off the rails.
2. I wrote Hajime's poem myself. I didn't want it to be particularly complicated or anything, so I made it average. The girl's responses are the neutral responses as I think they wouldn't love or hate it.
3. Despite Hajime not having a talent, DR establishes that he's actually quite smart, especially seeing as he's always the one to lead the class trials. As such, I think he'd have an easier time understanding the girls' poems. I don't see him completely getting Yuri's right off the bat though as her sophisticated writing wouldn't make much sense to someone who isn't very exposed to such things. He also wouldn't understand Monika's for a similar reason.
4. Despite no one being romantically interested in each other yet, I still had the Yuri vs Natsuki argument happen. I feel even without them being into the MC, the argument would've been the same. Both are insecure and wish to impress the new club member. Natsuki would've saw Yuri give the book to the MC and would've suggested that Yuri was interested in him as a means of getting under her skin, causing the argument to pretty much go the same from there.
5. DR show us that Hajime is someone who's able to diffuse situations quite easily while also being aware of the emotional state of others. He's also shown to be easy to talk to and knows how to comfort someone. As such, I felt that he would be able to diffuse the argument between Natsuki and Yuri in a way that satisfies both and without having to turn to Sayori for help.
6. Monika's poems are intentionally the same. I mentioned before that I have big plans for her, and her poems provide an insight to what they are. Keep in mind that since I'm steering away from cannon DDLC, Monika's not going to be a self-aware video-game character. As a result, the poems DO have a different meaning in this fic, but it's one that can be still be described by the poems without changing any words (except one or two). See if you can guess what they're referring to regarding Monika's identity/arc in the story :-).
7. Unrelated, but if I knew how to mod/code, I would've totally made a DDLC mod with this story's premise. Why do I mention this? I honestly don't know. I guess I just think it'd be a neat idea.
