Author's notes at the end as always. Hope you all enjoy! This was a lot of fun to write.


"Number 101982005 you're up!" A ghoulish voice barked over a strange speaker somewhere above me. "Move it blanky!" I felt something smack into me from behind and I shuffled forwards towards a pair of towering metal doors, they looked to be crafted from some kind of strange, dark iron. I wasn't sure where I was or where I was going, I wasn't sure of anything. All I knew was that I was Underworld resident number 101982005 and I was up next.

Two Skeleton guards strapped with M16 Assault Rifles took a hold of each of my arms and led me into a makeshift courtroom. It was a musty old room that smelled like the inside of a church, damp and poorly lit, its only light source being a strange red light emitting from somewhere miles above us in the clouds. At the end of the room sat two men in flowing black robes elevated above the courtroom of bones in midnight black chairs. They appeared to be playing a game of catch with a gavel made of human bones. Noticing me, they composed themselves, putting on their serious faces and turning to look at me.

"Name?" One of the judges asked. He was a balding man who looked like he smelled awful when he was alive. His clothes were unnaturally brown rags pieced together sloppily. He looked bored but there was a sparkle of intelligence somewhere behind his eyes. He was William Shakespeare, famous playwright, poet and of course, Judge of the Dead. Naturally I didn't know this. I didn't know anything, not even my own name. I just looked up at the two men, vacant and emotionless.

"Oh for the love of… Thomas! This one is still blank!" Shakerspeare exclaimed impatiently.

The judge to his left - a wrinkled old man with long, white hair - peered at me curiously, his sharp eyes narrowing as he examined me. Presumably, this was Thomas Jefferson. "So it seems, Guard!" he barked, his voice surprisingly strong despite his frail appearance. "This one's still blank. Put his memory back in!"

One of the Skeleton guards came over and his jaw began to rattle as he spoke to Jefferson in a strange chattering language.

"Again? Seriously Cadaver? I'm disappointed. I expected this from Carrion but not from you. Go to the server room and get the backup." Cadaver went down a shadowy hallway while the second guard, presumably Carrion, looked down at the floor in shame.

Jefferson looked at me apologetically. "Sorry about this, it appears our staff have lost your memory. Not to worry, we have backups just in case. Cadaver will be back soon and we can get started. Gods… This keeps happening. Ever since that damned Charon got his pay raise, our security teams have been on strike demanding equal pay for all. They're skeletons, what would they even spend the money on."

Carrion's chattered something to him, causing him to pull a face. "No, Carrion! You don't need your teeth whitened again!" Thomas sighed and turned back to me. "As you can see, the few staff that remain aren't exactly the brightest bones in the coffin. We're down to nothing more than a Skeleton crew now..." Jefferson looked down for a second, thinking about what he had just said before a slight smirk painted itself across the old man's face. "Ohhh that's a good pun actually! Write that one down, William!"

Shakespeare nodded eagerly and began to frantically write on a piece of parchment, the sound of quill scratching on paper filled the room.

Wait…" The playwright said. "How do you spell, skeleton? With a one C or two?"

Thomas sighed heavily, rubbing his temples in frustration. The two of them began to bicker. I stared emptily ahead, listening to them squabble as I waited for Cadaver to return with my memories. I stood like that, blank and motionless for some time. Abstract thought was impossible right now, let alone grasping the passage of time.

After what could have been ten seconds, or ten hours, the skeleton returned holding what looked like a flash drive made of human flesh. He prodded me in my ear and my memories came flooding back to me all at once, it was almost overwhelming, my head that was once deathly silent was suddenly filled with an orchestra of thoughts all screaming to be heard at once. It was deafening. I fell to my knees as my thoughts consumed me. Jefferson and Shakespeare turned away from me unconcerned and began chatting idly, clearly this was just another day at the office for them.

I saw the Princess Andromeda explode. I saw Luke fall to the ground in agony. I heard Annabeth cry out for help as she lay in the dirt, dying, I saw Zeus raise his bolt and I watched myself burn. Every forgotten memory, every trivial thought, every emotion I'd ever felt all hit me at once. A whole life lived, processed in a second.

I fell to my knees, clutching my head, screaming in pain. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, celebrate or mourn. I felt everything at once and it was overwhelming. I felt a bony hand grab my hair, sharply yanking my head up as another flesh drive was inserted in my ear. Suddenly… calm. A strange feeling of acceptance passed over me, a feeling of tranquility. I was dead, and that was okay, I was at peace with everything. I held no grudges, had no pain, no lingering resentment. I'd lived my life and now it was over, all that mattered was the here and now. Whatever it was they'd injected me with was a hell of a drug.

Having gotten a hold of myself, I felt the skeletal hand release me. Shakily, I rose to my feet and looked back up at the judges. That's when I saw him. A pale man draped in a flowing purple toga. His eyes, though faded with age, were still strikingly blue. He had jet black hair combed to perfection, though it looked oily. His features were undeniably regal, high cheekbones, a proud jaw and a skin complexion that could only be the result of generations of royal inbreeding. It was clear this man was a king, or at least thought of himself as one. Almost as if to prove my point he took a seat half a foot higher than the other two judges. Both Jefferson and Shakespeare scowled as he sat on his chair… no, throne.

The feeling of calm I'd had moments ago was replaced by one of impending doom as I realised I knew him. I was looking at the not so honorable judge King Minos himself.

"Name?" Minos asked in an uninterested tone, clearly not having clocked who I was just yet. Maybe he's forgotten me?

"Perseus Jackson," I said quietly, swallowing the lump in my throat. Minos's head shot up instantly, his stern features broke into a twisted smile. The Ghost King couldn't believe his luck.

"Guilty!" Minos exclaimed, eyeing me with glee. "I move that we send him straight to Tartarus. Put him next to Koios, he gets bored down there. Let's give him something to toy with."

"For what crime?" Thomas Jefferson asked, Minos' demeanour evidently confusing him.

Minos gave me the evil eye before pulling a device that resembled an iPad out from below his desk. It had a shadow like smoke for a screen and where there would normally be an apple logo, there was a logo of a silver fury instead. I shuddered, for a moment I thought I could hear the flapping of wings overhead.

Minos began to swipe right frantically as he searched for something evil I had done in my past that could justify damning me for eternity. "No. No. Boring. Nope. Crap. Seen it. Done it. Ohhh…" Minos said, grinning from ear to ear. "I have a note from Perseus' teacher here!"

My heart dropped. If anything were to justify sending me to Tartarus, it would be a note from a teacher. I was not exactly a model student.

"Everyone turn to document three, article seven." Minos ordered. Jefferson nodded meekly and began to swipe on his tablet in boredom. Shakespeare just sighed in frustration, cursing the impracticality of modern technology as he gestured frantically to Minos for help.

Minos looked over at the playwright and rolled his eyes.

"Gods above, William. You really need to learn how to use a Deathpad." Minos peered over Shakespeare's shoulder and groaned. "No, William. That's Angry Birds. Just hit that button." There was a dull thud as Shakespeare brought his fist down on the tablet. "No, William, I didn't mean actually hit it! You just need to tap the screen. Nope, that's the off switch, not the screen. Argh!" Minos sighed in exasperation. "Just give me the Deathpad William." Snatching the tablet from Shakespeare, the ghost king scrolled for a few moments before handing it back. "There we go William. Now, just… don't touch it alright? Good. Now, where were we? Ahh yes! A note from Perseus' teacher." Minos rubbed his hands together with glee as he cleared his throat.

"Here we go, Perseus Jackson has repeatedly shown himself to be undisciplined, disrespectful and severely lacking in work ethnic. His juvenile antics have not only affected his grades but the grades of his peers as well. Since Perseus has joined Yancy Academy our school's GPA has fallen by a whole two points. On top of that he has been caught on multiple occasions bullying one of our school rising stars. Nancy Bobifit. I have even caught him physically attacking her on one occasion. I'm beginning to worry for her… As well as our entire school's safety. Just last week on our field trip he attacked me with a pen."

Minos started scrolling down quickly reading out the highlights of my letter. "Fights… Missing teachers… Stolen lightning bolt… Why, this note reads like a rap sheet. Need I go on?" Minos continued to scroll, savouring every word he read. Eventually he reached the bottom and he burst out laughing.

"Why, this note is from Alecto herself!" Minos cackled giddily, he looked like a child who just found out Christmas came early.

"Perseus Jackson." The ghost king said. "Step forward please."

I stared at Minos in defiance, silently refusing to move. If he was going to railroad me, I couldn't stop him. But I wasn't going to let this creep boss me around. Minos eyed me down for a moment before sighing and waving his hand, an invisible force dragging me along the cold stone floor towards the feet of his desk. Behind me I could hear amused chattering from the skeleton guards. If I hadn't been a ghost, he'd have broken my nose. Still, it hurt.

"How do you plead?" Minos asked, almost breaking into another fit of laughter as he watched me stumble to my feet, scowling at him.

"Well… I…"

"That's enough from you Perseus." Minos said as he silenced me.

"But I never even..." I said in confusion.

Minos cut me off again, raising his palm at me with a look of disgust. "See Thomas. Look at this blatant lack of respect he shows to our prestigious court. I think we've heard enough, don't you?" Minos asked, nodding his head quickly and speaking again before his colleagues could even open their mouths. "I propose eternal damnation in the pits of Tartarus for the crime of… What does that say, William?" Minos asked, showing his screen to the playwright.

"Tardiness." Shakespeare said, rolling his eyes. "It says he's been given detention for tardiness."

"Thank you, William. Sorry, Perseus." Minos said in a tone that was clear he was anything but sorry. "Alecto doesn't have the greatest handwriting in the world." Somewhere overhead I heard a furious shriek, making all three judges jump out of their skin. "Sorry!" Minos said quickly. "Sorry Alecto. I'm sure I'd struggle with a pen as well if I had claws for fingers as well."

Thomas peered over at the note on Minos' screen.

"She typed it, you just can't read." The poet muttered with a scowl.

Minos waved his hands dismissively. "Semantics my dear Thomas, semantics. Now, let's return to the matter at hand." Minos snapped his finger and raised a piece of yellowed parchment up and pretended to read from it with great conviction. "Perseus Jackson. For the grievous crime of Tardiness I sentence you to eternal detention in the pits of…"

"No!" Jefferson said loudly, cutting off the King. "This is not justice!"

"But it would be good theatre." Shakespeare replied. "Koios is a wonderful showman, I'm sure he would make good use of the boy. I agree with Minos."

Thomas scowled. "He has the right to a fair trial, the sixth amendment is very clear-"

"Your silly bill of rights doesn't apply here, Thomas. "Minos interjected. "How many times must we go over this!"

"But it should, the constitution is the greatest collection of words man ever put to paper!"

"Hey!" William exclaimed, genuinely looking offended. "I wrote Hamlet!"

"Enough!" Minos said sternly, silencing them both before they began yet another debate. "If we can't agree, we will simply put it to a vote. All in favour of sending the boy to Tartarus, raise your hands." Minos raised his own hand, Shakespeare followed suit.

"But-" Thomas began, before being silenced with a sharp look from Minos.

"Sorry. Thomas." Minos shrugged, raising his gavel and eyeing me with glee, the corners of his lips curled up into a cruel smile. "Seems that it's two against one. Take him away!"

I turned towards the skeletal guards, bracing myself for a fight. But it didn't come, the skeletons remained still.

"I said take him away!" Minos screeched. "Obey me! Don't make me bring your union rep down here again!"

"Uhh, Minos?" Thomas began.

"Not now, Thomas." Minos said dismissively, staring at the undead guards furiously. "What are you fools waiting for! You may not have ears but I know you can hear me!"

"Minos?" Thomas asked again. "You might want to look at this."

"What?" Minos sighed exasperatingly. "What do you want?"

"This," the Founding Father said, handing the Ghost King his deathpad. "It says he's been reserved."

"Reserved? By who?" Minos growled, peering down at the screen. When he saw what it said he erupted into laughter. "Why, you've been reserved by Lady Styx herself!"

William scowled at the mention of the river goddess. "She has zero appreciation for fiction."

"That is true, William. But something tells me she has some fine theatrics in mind for young Perseus here."

At the mention of theatre, Shakespeare grinned. "Can I watch?"

Minos smacked the deathpad to the back of William's head. "No you fool! We have a backlog the size of mount etna to get through, I don't know about you but I'd like to go home sometime this century."

"But-" William said sadly

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." Thomas said smugly, much to the ire of William.

"Hey! That's my line! Take that back or I'll take you to court."

"We are the court." Jefferson replied simply.

Minos rolled his eyes. "Both of you, quiet!" He turned to me, glee painted all over his features. "Well, I may not get to carry out the sentence myself, but I will rest easy knowing you will suffer all the same. Lady Styx takes a broken oath very seriously".

Above me, I could hear the sound of flapping wings getting closer.

Minos smiled, baring his teeth at me mirthlessly. "Seems our time, or rather, yours, is coming to a close." He leaned forward slightly, savouring the moment. "Goodbye, Perseus Jackson."

Out of nowhere Alecto dropped from the sky and grabbed me with her gnarly claws. Minos turned away from me and gestured to the gun wielding skeleton guards to bring in their next subject.

"You ready, Honey?" My former math teacher screeched, spreading her wings wide, casting a long shadow over the room. With one flap of her wings, we were airborne. Another flap, then another, and suddenly the courtroom was nothing more than a shrinking speck far below, swallowed by the vast, churning sky.

We continued to climb until we reached the murky grey clouds that formed the oppressive ceiling of the underworld. The dense, churning vapor seemed to pulse with an unnatural energy, and as we plunged into it, I instinctively held my breath. Whatever these clouds were made of, they didn't feel like anything I should risk inhaling.

Minutes stretched endlessly as we pushed through the suffocating haze. My lungs burned, the pressure mounting with every second. Just as the edges of my vision began to blur and darken, Alecto finally emerged, gliding just below the swirling clouds. I gasped for air, the acrid but breathable underworld atmosphere rushing back into my lungs like a lifeline.

"We're here!" She screeched, her shrill voice cutting through the silence.

I looked down and my blood turned to ice. A river, a dark, churning monstrosity of relentless power. Its current surged forward with an unstoppable force, heedless of any obstacle. The surface, a foul mosaic of pollution: crumpled chip packets, rusted car frames, shattered dreams, lost hopes and forgotten memories, all swirling together in the murky depths.

The River Styx. I felt a cold tingle in the small of my back. I may have lost the curse of Achilles, but my body still remembered the river, and it didn't like it.

"Have a nice swim!" Alecto squawked, releasing her hold on me. With seconds I hit freefall speed, as a child of Poseidon, the air was not my domain, I was powerless here, all I could do was wait. Father. I thought, praying he could somehow hear me, that he'd somehow even want to help me now. Give me the strength to escape this. I looked down and screamed in defiance as the river rushed to meet me.


Sorry to end on a cliffhanger guys, but for reasons that will become obvious soon, this was the best place to end this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it anyway. I'm aware the opening couple of paragraphs were a bit lacking in environmental detail, that was a deliberate choice. Initially I had included some, but then I realised if Percy's memory is blank, and the chapter is being told from his perspective, going into loads of detail about his surroundings doesn't really work all that well.

Before I get into anything else, I want to thank you all for the support. I started posting again last week, since then I've gained something like 200 followers and gotten so many kind reviews and messages, thank you. I didn't expect this level of support, but I'm going to work hard to ensure this story justifies it.

I loved working on this chapter. After the last few chapters of constant throne rooms and depressing scenes, getting to focus on a chapter that is primarily comedy was really refreshing. I hope you all enjoy this lighter chapter too. (As light as it can be, Percy is still quite literally dead right now) The next chapter is back with Artemis in the hall of the gods covering the direct fallout of Tartazeus's (the name kinda works) killing Percy.

People seem to be divided on how little interaction Percy and Artemis have had so far, I get it, it's tagged as a Percy x Artemis fic so naturally people want that, and it will come eventually. But so far it's been less than 24 hours, Annabeth literally just died and Artemis is a maiden goddess, there's no real way to have them interact more without it being a little strange I think. It is coming though, you guys won't have to wait too much longer, though anything romantic is still a while away. I'm not rushing that.

I'll respond to a few reviews here.

Posaitan, thanks for properly going into your thoughts on the chapter! I agree with you completely on the blessings aspect, you listed some interesting examples there too. ADHD resistance isn't ever something I've thought of, but it could definitely help a demigod. I still am very much against giving Percy any blessings though I think. Your note about Styx is interesting too, chapter nine will be going into that quite a bit, but my aim was to portray her as untrustworthy so you took away what I wanted you to take away from the chapter!

Almostimportant. I'm glad you enjoyed chapter six. Your review did confuse me a little though, I don't know if I'm misreading what you said or if you're a little confused. Zeus isn't actually paranoid, that's just how everyone else was viewing him from the outside. He's been possessed by Tartarus for the entirety of my story thus far. The original version of this story did actually have Zeus himself killing Percy, however it didn't work for reasons that will become clearer in later chapters so I made the change. Chapter eight will hopefully make this clearer though. If I am misunderstanding your point, feel free to drop me a message or leave a comment clarifying what you mean!

Also to the guy who messaged me upset that I killed off Annabeth and a lot of side characters. My name is literally "I Will Kill Your Fav Character." Sorry you're upset dude but like… it's in the name. Despite the name though, I'm not just going to needlessly kill off everyone just for shock value. However, I think for a story to truly have stakes and proper tension, it does need to be done sometimes so character death will be a theme in my story, but only when it serves the plot.

Also, if anyone has any good fic recommendations for me, ideally well written and over 80k words, I'd love to hear them. I'm out of stuff to read at the moment and could do with some suggestions. FFN or AO3 both work with me.

That's it from me for now! I aim to have chapter eight done by Sunday evening. That being said it's a longer one and a bitch to edit so if it causes me issues, I may release it Monday or Tuesday, I refuse to rush it out before it's ready. Thank you all for reading and as always, any feedback is always greatly appreciated! Thank you!