DISCLAIMER: Obviously I don't own any of the characters in Harry Potter or anything belonging to Harry Potter World, it belongs to the only and only creator J.K. Rowling.

~~AM~~

Entry Eleven

January 11, 2001

This late night, I have Blaise's helpful little house elf Miffy writing for me. She has the most beautiful penmanship I have ever seen. Its like she was the top of her class in penmanship. I am laying here recovering, I am sore from the inside out and I smell burnt. Majority of the day I was fed sleeping draught and other potions and some of my own traditional herbal medicine. I held off on taking any, so I could do this entry. I feel if I stop, or miss a day, it will bother me to no bounds, or I might just stop all together because I'm that type of person. I did not realize how much effort it is to talk, with my throat all raw. I am listening to the sound of my voice, and I sound raspy, like I smoked couple of packs today. I imagine how a smoker would sound, a chain smoker. Every now and then I'd smell stale cigarette smoke on my husband's clothing. He doesn't smoke cigarettes around me, he knows I hate the smell of it. No offense to the smokers out there, it's just my sensitive nose, the smell is too intrusive.

Lets get back to the purpose of why I've been literally laying in bed all day and night. Last night I had a night terror, after couple of pleasant days, I guess my brain though oh, hey she has been high on dopamine, and we don't want to create anymore, so let's pump her up with some epinephrine, norepinephrine and cortisol so she knows her place. I can't remember if I was having a nightmare that triggered a night terror. According to Blaise, he had to blast my door open because it would not open. He said, he heard me screaming and wailing. Once he got into my room, he said the windows in my room were shattered and the chains around my ankles, wrists and neck were had a faint glow to them. He tried to wake me up, but once he put his hands on my shoulder, he felt a shock that made him pull his hand back. Blaise said he had to put a numbing charm on his hands to shake me, but I kept screaming and thrashing around. I had blood coming out of my nose and smeared all over my pillow. The more I kicked and flung my arms around, the more my chains glowed. The bed was trembling and the mirror, vases and picture glasses all shattered. Blaise tried his best to shake me awake, that's when he summoned Suki our house elf. Suki had brought with her potions that she forced down my throat. After pouring a vivid orange potion, the chains stop glowing. Blaise said he could finally place his hands on my shoulder without being shocked. That is when he shook me awake.

I was disoriented and inconsolable. Blaise tried to get me out of bed, but the pain was to much, my whole body ached, not just my muscles, but my bones, and inside my body hurt, I started vomiting out blood. I scared the shit out of him, he called for his house elf, and immediately a healer was summoned. I had terrible burns where the chains are and I could smell something burnt. I laid in my blood stained bed while the healer did his diagnostic and had a serious look on his face. He was an older gentleman, with peppered hair and beard. His eyes were kind, but I could see the concern in his eyes. After he finished his diagnostic, he pulled his bag open and started pulling out vials of potions, herbal ingredients, a burner and cauldron out. He made a silvery iridescent potion, which he later told Blaise it was for the internal burns, it was going to take several weeks for it to completely heal. Blaise had told the healer the house elf gave me a vivid orange potion and told him what he witnessed it had done. The healer told Blaise, if it's the correction potion he is thinking about, he said that potion was an essence that neutralize one's magical core, especially when it becomes unstable. He said its very complex process to make it. He asked for a sample, but Blaise stated my house elf was the one who brought it along with other potions to calm me down. I just remember him saying it was a pity, he wanted to study the sample. Suki would not provide a sample to him because my husband told her not give anyone aside from myself. The healer also made a paste for the burns and said it needs to be applied one more time, and it will be healed without leaving any scaring. He completed his potion and put them in several vials and gave instructions on when and how much to administer and left.

Miffy had help change my night gown and levitated me to the sofa where Blaise held me in his lap, while Miffy changed the bedding. I wept asking for my husband, wanting him to come back, and Blaise just held me tight and Pansy came into my room, where she helped put me to sleep. I was given a strong dosage of calm draught and dreamless sleeping draught, crying until I fell into a deep sleep, calling my husband's name.

The next morning, I woke up in pain, Blaise and Pansy were at my bedside, Blaise was getting potions together while Pansy helped prop me up. She wiped my face with a warm cloth. I could see her eyes were puffy from crying, and she gently wiped my face. Blaise then helped me with drinking the potions, and Pansy help me drink water and broth, which burned its way down my throat. I could barely talk and it was raspy. I was given calming draught and dreamless sleeping draught again, the process repeated during lunch and dinner, and here in a bit they will come in and give me my potions for the night.

I think its been a week since I've been here. I want to see my husband, I want to go home. Its time for me to go to sleep, and I'm sure this process is going to repeat itself. When the potions wear off, everything hurts, breathing hurts, moving hurts, thinking hurts, everything hurts.

Theodore Nott, you better hurry back to me. I can't do this alone.

Mrs. Nott