DIRTY OBJECTS AGAIN

Based upon "James and the Queen of Sodor" by Paul Larson

Adapted by Zack Wanzer and Rachel Ravens

Spring was now in full bloom on the Island of Sodor, and the engines were getting used to the longer days and warm sunshine on their paintwork. James, in particular, loved having the sun shining down on his red paint, and it gave him all the more reason to show it off to everyone.

"Doesn't my paint absolutely sparkle in the light?" he boasted to Emily; the emerald engine had her two coaches, Martha and Julian, in tow.

"Of course…" she trailed. "It happens with all of us, James."

"You engines are just built like that," said Julian.

"And the flowers are absolutely beautiful this time of year too," said Martha. "Just look at the flower arrangement in the window boxes."

"Yes, they do look rather pretty," James agreed. "Say, Emily, how's the Norramby branch been doing?"

"Oh, pretty well actually, James," said Emily. "Bear's sometimes been helping at a push. Although… I do get lonely at night. My coaches are nice, but… it's not the same as hanging out with the rest of you at Tidmouth."

"What does that make us, chicken coops?" huffed Martha.

"I didn't mean any offense!" cried Emily. "I just mean that… the engines all have stories to cover that don't tie into ours; as I'm always pulling you, we're always together."

"I… guess that makes sense," said Julian.

"I have to wonder how Thomas handled his occasional jaunts to Ffarquhar sheds before Toby arrived," James said to himself. It had been quite a while since Thomas, Percy and Toby started living there together. "We do miss you, Emily."

"Aye," she agreed. "I do hope to get back to the other end of the island soon. I haven't seen most of the other branch line engines for a while…"

A few days later, James was among the engines at the washdown.

"Alright!" grinned James. "This will be a great day!"

"Speak for yourself…" huffed Henry; he came in and coughed.

"Goodness me, Henry!" gasped Bear. "What's happened to you?"

"Dust got into my whistle," the green engine complained. He tried to blow hard to clear it out, but he didn't realize where the dust was going.

"Silly!" exclaimed Gordon in surprise.

"Oops. Sorry, Gordon…" But even so, Henry and Bear were trying not to laugh.

"Keep your dirt away from me!" snorted James. "I'm collecting the mayor today."

"It should've been me collecting the mayor," muttered Gordon crossly. "I'm an important engine, after all!"

"Really?" chuckled James. "You'd need a washdown first."

"Pah!" snorted Gordon.

"Oh, ne'er mind him," called Harvey from nearby. "James will get over it in one way or another."

"I suppose so," sighed Gordon; he and the others watched the red tender engine puff proudly away. "Still… I doubt passengers for the express would want to see me looking like this."

"Maybe I can help, Gordon," said a familiar voice.

"Annabelle!" The engines all smiled at the young woman. She had become a guard after graduating university, and it was obvious to all who met her that she was Sir Topham Hatt's granddaughter.

"We thought you'd be getting ready for your next run," said Bear. "What brings you down here?"

"Well, I always make time for you engines outside of work," smiled Annabelle. "I'm on lunch break, so I thought I'd spend a few minutes with you. Don't worry, Gordon; I'll get you cleaned up in no time."

"Thank you, Annabelle," he smiled as Annabelle set to work.

"I still remember when you were just a little girl," said Henry. "Watching Gordon and I go by with our trains."

"From what you've told Harvey and I, so much has changed on the island," said Bear.

"Ye know what they say," said Harvey. "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

"I don't know how that's supposed to make sense," Henry blinked.

"I think it means that changes don't really affect things on Sodor besides keeping the status quo," said Annabelle.

"You mean besides the fact we keep getting new engines and the current fleet have been changing jobs since coming here?" asked Diesel.

"I stand corrected," Annabelle giggled. "But there is one thing that'll never change. No matter where you are, or what you're doing on the island, you'll always have each others' backs."

The engines had to be content with Annabelle's word.

Later, Gordon was pulling the express when he saw James passing by with a single coach, grinning widely.

"Important, splendid engine coming through!" James chortled, while Gordon just scowled.

"What wouldn't I give to teach him a lesson in humility…" he muttered darkly.

"Never mind, Gordon," called Skarloey from the narrow gauge platform. "He'll get his own."

"Yes, but how?" Gordon asked himself. The answer came sooner than Gordon expected…

At the Pack's latest building site, Jack and Alfie had been trying to help dig out foundations, but they had hit something.

"Whoa!" cried Oliver the excavator. "I don't think this was supposed to be part of the new repair shed."

"How did that thing even get here, I wonder?" said Alfie.

"Hmm…" said Kelly. "I recall a story Mr. Packard told me when I joined the Pack. This boat was called the Queen of Sodor."

"The Queen of Sodor?" gasped Jack. "I didn't know Sodor used to be ruled by royalty!"

"There were several kings who ruled over Sodor, long before railways were even thought of," explained Kelly. "They would've had wives of their own, and one of them would've been well-known enough to have this boat named in her honor."

"Which one was this one named after?" asked Jasmine.

"If I recall correctly, Queen Elaine," said Kelly. "While King Godred kept the kingdom's external threats at bay, Elanie kept the kingdom going from the inside. She often kept busy sewing quilts, potholders and clothes to help keep the community going. Godred loved her so much that he even had a crown made for her, but it, along with his crown, had vanished to the march of time."

"If only the engine Godred treated his coach Elanie well," sighed Nelson. "From what I've heard, he was horrible to her."

"More like horrible to everyone!" gasped Buster. "I swear, he made George seem tame, at least from those tales."

"Even still," said Poppy, "what are we going to do with this giant barge in the way? We can't build our repair shed like this. It just barged into our work!" Unfortunately, the rest of the Pack rolled their eyes. "Oh, come on! It was a good joke."

"I'll call Sir Topham and see what he says," said Miss Jenny.

Meanwhile, Gordon had returned to Tidmouth sheds. Though a bit tired, Gordon was still happy with his work.

"Had a good run with the express?" Gordon glanced over to see Thomas on the siding next to the sheds.

"I did," replied the express engine. "How have things been doing on the branch line?"

"Great," said Thomas. "With Toby finally back in the swing of things, the branch line has gotten easier to run."

"Oh yes," said Gordon. "I nearly forgot about the lambs. I'm glad Toby and Henrietta could help them."

"Me too," smiled Thomas. "I wish I could have myself, but… snow made the weight of the bridge too unstable. Speaking of branch lines, have you heard about Emily at the Norramby branch?"

Before Gordon could answer that question, Sir Topham Hatt drove up to the duo.

"Ah, hello, sir," greeted Gordon. "What brings you here?"

"Well, I just got off of a call from Miss Jenny," said Sir Topham Hatt. "Jack and Alfie found an old barge at the construction site of the new repair shed. It is called the Queen of Sodor, and it's supposed to be scrapped."

"Oh dear…" Thomas and Gordon exchanged a look.

"Don't worry; it's non-sentient," Sir Topham Hatt assured. "I would never do this if the barge wasn't." Thomas and Gordon felt relieved upon hearing this. At that moment, they saw James reversing into the shed.

"Is taking the Queen of Sodor important, sir?" asked Gordon, as casually as possible.

"The Queen of Sodor?!" James cried excitedly. "Oh, I'd be honored to take it, sir!"

"Very well, James," said Sir Topham Hatt. "The Queen of Sodor is waiting to be picked up near the Pack's yard."

"Right away, sir!" James quickly puffed away, but he didn't hear Gordon and Thomas quietly chuckling to each other.

Soon, James had arrived at the Pack's yard.

"I'm here to pick up the Queen of Sodor!" he announced grandly. "Should I fetch a coach for her to travel in?"

"Hi, James!" called Murphy. "Afraid that you won't need a coach for the Queen of Sodor."

"Why not, Murphy? Where is she?"

"She's right in front of you." James looked in front of him and gasped in horror.

"That's the Queen of Sodor?!" he spluttered. "This slimy old tub?!"

"Yep; that's the Queen of Sodor, alright," said Murphy. It now dawned upon James what Gordon had done, and he was furious!

"That Gordon wants me to get dirty, doesn't he?!" he snapped. "Well, I'll show him! Once I get this heap of junk out of my sight, I'll give him what for! Shiny engines like me should never get dirty!"

As soon as he was coupled up to the Queen of Sodor's flatbed, James began pushing it to Crock's scrap yard.

"I swear, everyone thinks I'm a joke around here…" James muttered.

And it seemed James was not wrong.

"Taking Her Majesty out for a tour, are we?" laughed Henry.

"Maybe there should be a King of Sodor barge to match," smirked Gordon. James scowled at the two bigger engines, Gordon especially.

"You wouldn't be laughing if it was either of you pushing this tub of rust!" he snapped.

"Well, we're not," chuckled Henry. "That's on you."

"You agreed to take the Queen of Sodor, didn't you?" asked Gordon.

"You didn't say it was an old barge!" The red engine wheeshed steam as he snorted away. Both Gordon and Henry continued laughing hysterically.

Despite this dirty job, James was pleased when Wellsworth came into view.

"And I haven't got a speck of dirt on me," he said. "The sooner I'm away from this barge, the better!"

Just then, there was a tooting noise from up the branch. "Oh, hello, James."

"Hello, Derek!" he called back. "Having a better day than me?"

"Oh, it's been a good day," said Derek. "I saw Bill and Ben, Salty told a tale of the sea, and… whoa!" A bird flew right in front of Derek, and he slammed his brakes on. Unfortunately, the sudden stop caused some china clay dust to fly out, and all land all over James.

"Ugh!" he groaned. "Why me?!"

"Oh dear!" gasped Derek. "Sorry about that, James."

"Is there a washdown I can head towards once I deliver this barge?" cried James. "I don't want Gordon or Henry to see me looking like this!"

"Calm down, ol' boy," said his driver. "It could always be worse."

"Don't say that, please!" James cried. "Let's just get rid of this thing!"

It wasn't long before Crock's scrap yard came into view, and James shunted the Queen of Sodor into position.

"Thank goodness that's over…" sighed James. "Now to get cleaned before anyone else sees me!"

"Hey, look, Ben!" called Bill. "It's James."

"With a rusted barge and covered in china clay dust?" gasped Ben. "No… it must be Edward painted red!"

"Maybe James got painted blue as well," giggled Bill.

"Ugh!" cried James, leaving as quickly as possible. "Of all engines to see me, why them?!"

Although James had just had a washdown, he was still feeling apprehensive as he approached Tidmouth sheds. To both his surprise and relief, no one seemed to have noticed as he got onto the turntable.

"Job complete," said James as he was being spun around, "and nothing went wrong!"

"How did you manage to stay so clean?" gasped Gordon.

"I have to stay clean," boasted James, reversing into his berth, "in case there's important work to do."

Just then, Harvey came in.

"Sorry, everyone," gasped Harvey. "Ah got coal dust in mah– in mah– AH-CHOO! …whistle."

"Ohhh, not again!" wailed James.

"I thought you said nothing went wrong, James," smirked Diesel.

"Not with the Queen of Sodor, it didn't!" protested James.

"Then why did you say 'not again'?" quizzed Diesel.

"I did see Derek earlier," said Bear, "and he said that he made a sudden stop upon seeing a bird jump out in front of him. He even mentioned seeing you, James…"

"Alright, alright!" snapped James. "So I did get a little dirty, but I'll need another washdown first thing tomorrow! Then I'll be reddier than ever!"

The other engines chuckled before Henry remembered something.

"I think we all have to be ready for something very soon," he said. "Annabelle said two new engines are on the way."

"Are they both fer the main line?" asked Harvey. "Tidmouth may get a wee bit crowded."

"I'm sure we can figure something out," said Gordon. "The more, the merrier. I wonder what they'll be like…"

TO BE CONTINUED

Author's Comments

This early on for the second half of Series 6-7 Redux, we've got a four-part saga in style of a Railway Series book with James as a major character! The first part is very much an adaptation of James and the Queen of Sodor, continuing from the events of the Byron Saves the Day adaptation. Structurally, this adaptation isn't that much different to the official episode other than the addition of several other characters with speaking roles, and some ending dialogue that leads into the next rewrite. It's a good episode overall, but not the best.

Upcoming rewrites:

- The Spotless Record

- Peace and Quiet

- Something Fishy

- Oliversaurus

- Elizabeth the Vintage Lorry