Dallas, Texas
March 1979
"I'm sorry, Lucy. I don't feel much like talking."
"That's okay. You don't feel well? Me neither."
"What's wrong with you?"
"Kit Mainwaring."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Lucy. I've been preoccupied."
"I have so much pain."
"I want to say I understand, but I'd be lying. I do sympathise, though."
"Thanks."
Lying in bed, her thoughts foggy, Sue Ellen struggled to recall the rest of the conversation, especially how she'd ended up where she was now.
"I have something for the pain."
She remembered Lucy saying that, but Lucy hadn't mentioned that whatever she'd given her wasn't an over-the-counter medication. Sue Ellen should've known better; Lucy was talking about emotional pain, while she was talking about physical pain, they weren't treated the same. Besides, Lucy was barely out of high school and nowhere near qualified to make medical recommendations.
Still, she'd listened to her niece, swallowed the little pill, and headed upstairs for a rest.
In a way, the medication was working; she didn't feel any pain anymore, though that was probably because her mind and body felt completely disconnected. She could see her feet, but feeling them was another matter entirely.
She saw a lot of things, some she was certain weren't there. She saw her grandparents' beagle, Rex, sitting by the window. She saw a bathing suit she'd bought for her honeymoon draped over the closet door. She saw her prom picture on the nightstand. And in the doorway, she saw Jock.
"Sue Ellen?"
Sitting beside his wife, JR felt ill. They were back in the hospital again, and this time, it wasn't because she'd done anything wrong, at least, he didn't think so.
What had happened was still unclear. His niece could barely say her own name, let alone explain how Sue Ellen was involved, and Bobby's rushed explanations didn't make much sense. The gist of it seemed to be that Sue Ellen had ingested something that interacted badly with her prescribed medication. His daddy had found her barely conscious, while Bobby and Ray found Lucy in a similar state.
His daddy's presence in their bedroom was a concern, but that was something he'd worry about later. Right now, he was more afraid he'd never see her eyes open again, never see her smile, or even cry. He was terrified that his wife might die.
Sue Ellen couldn't leave him. He didn't want to be widowed, didn't want to raise little John alone, and didn't want to feel a pain worse than what he'd already experienced in their marriage. She had too much to live for herself, too. She'd declared that many times since leaving Brooktree Psychiatric last year. They'd been through so much, and sitting beside her in a hospital room brought all of it back.
She was young, beautiful, and full of life. She had to live. She just had to.
Sue Ellen wasn't sedated. In fact, they were actively trying to clear the excess medication from her system, yet she was still asleep. And if JR's reports were accurate, she had been for quite a while.
Jock hadn't seen her himself. The hospital was unusually strict about visitors, whether due to policy or a request from JR, he wasn't sure, but he was working on finding out.
He was furious with Lucy for being so reckless. His granddaughter was going to be fine, the doctors said she just needed to sleep it off. Bobby had flushed the pills she'd taken, so once she woke up, she'd have no choice but to go cold turkey. Sue Ellen, on the other hand, hadn't woken up yet, despite the doctors supposedly doing everything they could.
It was a tragedy, but it had temporarily reunited Bobby and Pamela. Jock found himself leaning on his own wife for support and returning the favour, an exchange that brought him a clarity he hadn't felt before.
Ellie was a good woman, and he tried to be a fair man, but they hadn't succeeded in parenting their sons and granddaughter as he'd hoped. Bobby was the best of the bunch, but even he had his troubles. That's why Jock felt it was so important to try again, this time armed with the knowledge of what worked and what didn't.
Little John was his first step toward getting it right. At first, he'd wanted to help JR and Sue Ellen where they struggled, to do something purely altruistic. But in the time since, his objective had shifted. He wanted another chance, to start over with a lifetime of experience. And doing that from the sidelines wasn't an option.
Her mouth was dry, but his name was short, so she managed to say it.
"JR?"
Raising his head from where it rested on the edge of the chair beside her bed, JR's eyes widened as he realised what was happening.
"You're awake!"
He sounded relieved, she could tell just from his voice. That knowledge instantly soothed her.
She was awake. Her memories were hazy, but her mind wasn't foggy anymore. She was awake, she was alive, and she was happy.