A/N: This chapter concludes this variant of the pilot episode. It's also the last chapter I've written for this story so far. I'd like to continue it, but was thinking I should finish some others first. However, this one does appeal to me, so I may not wait that long.

Healing

Chapter 3: Discussion

As Chuck drove, Sarah called Director Graham and told him what had happened. He groaned. "So, the president will know of him. No bunkering him, then."

She was glad she hadn't put the phone on speaker and the volume was low enough that Chuck wouldn't be able to hear the conversation.

"No, Sir."

"Maybe an accident, then," his cold voice suggested.

That chilled her, even though his death had been part of her mission.. "This Intersect in his head saved a lot of people today, not just the general. He could be an invaluable help to us, sir." Yes, that was why she didn't want to kill Chuck Bartowski, Sarah told herself, not that she was starting to care for him.

Graham sighed. "In an operative's head, the Intersect would be. In an untrained civilian, a lot less."

Her mind was ahead of him. "So, have him work alongside an operative."

He was silent for a moment, then said, "We need to keep those who know to a minimum."

Sarah swallowed hard, knowing what that meant. It felt like a long-term assignment. She'd refused to do those again. She looked at the man beside her. He looked very pale and had obviously worked out what Graham had earlier suggested. His hands were gripping the steering wheel very tightly.

Victim, she thought. Not wanting what was happening to him. The kinship she felt with him was so strong and the fact that he had thrown himself into danger without any qualms made her want to help him. Yes, she was starting to care about him, and she'd have to ponder that later, but could anyone else protect him better?

"I understand, Director."

"Thank you, Sarah." He obviously understood how big a deal this was for her. "I need to call General Beckman to call off her assassin," he said.

She'd forgotten about Major Casey. She was pretty sure that she could take him out, but would prefer not to have to face him.

"You'll need to be close to Bartowski to keep him under control and safe."

Those words felt like stab wounds. However, she was close to him now. They didn't need to touch. She took a deep breath. "Yes, Sir."

"Very well. I have a lot to do, so keep him with you tonight." He ended the call without suggesting how.

She stared at her phone after pulling it away from her ear.

"I take it that you just saved me."

That broke her out of her thoughts. Chuck was sitting looking at her, which made her realize they'd stopped. She looked out at the ocean. Looking back at Chuck, she said, "You've brought us to a beach?"

He frowned. Probably because she hadn't replied to his comment, but it hadn't been a question. "My thinking place is there."

She nodded. "We could talk here or there. Your choice."

So, that was how they ended up sitting on the beach with the calming waves rippling in front of them, and with the moonlight keeping the darkness at bay.

There was a lot she needed to tell him, but wanted to get him to understand something first. "Chuck, we're going to be together a lot from now on. We'll discuss why and what that means, but first you need to know something about me."

He was surprised to hear that. "Sharing something about yourself?"

She couldn't tell if that was a tease or doubt, but ignored that. "You can't touch me."

He looked confused and then his expression changed. "You snatched your hand away in the Buy More."

She hadn't thought he noticed at the time. "Yes. Physical contact is a nonstarter."

His eyes glazed and narrowed at the same time, then he gasped. He suddenly focused on her. "I am so sorry."

"You didn't know," she said. "And it wasn't deliberate anyway."

He shook his head. "I don't mean just touching your hand. I also mean what happened to you four years ago."

She gasped. Thoughts of her being in the Intersect came flooding back. She couldn't help asking, "That's in the Intersect?" Of course, it must be or he wouldn't know!

"Yes," he simply replied. The look of sympathy he was giving her was almost as overwhelming as the knowledge he now had.

"What did you see?" she tentatively asked. She really hoped they hadn't captured photos of her hanging covered in blood but nothing else.

"Flashes of images of CIA records. Your records, I guess. The state you were in when found in Bogotá, what had been done to you, the therapy you received, you no longer wanting either partners or long-term assignments, and the types of missions you subsequently undertook." He paused. "Don't worry, there were no images of you." She breathed a sigh of relief.

"I am so sorry that happened to you, Sarah."

That brought her back to him. This man who she had been sent to kill saying something like that was hard to believe, but she couldn't see no deceit in his face. He wasn't just saying it, he felt it. "Thank you, Chuck. You saying that means a lot."

She sat in silence for several minutes, trying to get her swirling emotions under control. Then her original thoughts about the Intersect in his head returned. "Is that the first time you've seen anything about me?"

He nodded. "Probably just as well or I would've run a mile when I first saw you."

That was true, and if he had she would've thought him guilty.

She took a deep breath. "I'm glad you didn't see the details of my missions because you and I are going to be together for some time."

"I know you're basically an assassin, but I knew that anyway because you were sent to kill me. I guessed that was why you persuaded the person you called that I'm useful. To prevent that from happening." There was gratitude in there, but also an element of bitterness.

If she could cope with it, this was where she would grasp his hand to reassure him. Instead, she just held his gaze. "I needed to say that to persuade Director Graham."

He groaned and she realized he must've accessed the Intersect again. "God, that man is evil!"

"You had some more image flashes?"

He was now holding his head. "Yeah. I flashed on Langston Graham."

This was all worth discussing, but something else was more important right now. "Chuck, we need to talk about what will happen now."

He nodded for her to do that.

"I am staying here and need to be close to you." She still felt sick about that, but it was lessening.

He looked at her closely. "Isn't that just what you never wanted to do again?"

It was, but she had accepted it. "Yes, but you're important enough to overcome that."

His eyes darkened. "This damned Intersect."

The pull to grab him and shake him was strong. Instead, she just snapped at him. "No, Chuck! Not the damned Intersect. You, Chuck Bartowski, are more important."

He looked extremely skeptical. "Why?"

She responded by talking about what he'd done first. "Did the Intersect make you go with me into that hotel?" He slowly shook his head. "Did the Intersect know how to defuse the bomb?" Another head shake. "Did the Intersect give you the courage or the ability to concentrate on that with that timer counting down?" A final headshake.

"No, but if I hadn't done that, I would've died too."

She ignored that. "All those things were you, Chuck Bartowski. Even experienced CIA operatives would've faltered at the first, and none would've saved the day like you did."

She could see that was getting through to him, but found she needed to add, in a small voice, "And for the first time in four years, I've felt a connection with another adult." She wasn't going to mention her mother.

His eyes seemed to lighten and surprise appeared. "You care for me?"

That wasn't something she would say, but instead replied, "Nobody has ever cared as much about my feelings. I just got pity, if anything."

He snorted. "Caring not a job requirement, huh?"

That was true, but didn't diminish how he made her feel. "No, but I really appreciate it, Chuck." She really did. It made her feel less alone, somehow. She added, "And it will help me with this assignment."

He laughed, but it didn't sound happy. "My sister says I care too much about others and not enough about myself."

That fit with what she'd seen him do twice in the time she'd known him. The bomb, for sure, but also that little ballerina.

A troubled look took over his face. "What does you 'being close to me' mean?"

She controlled her features and replied, "The information in your head makes you a valuable asset to anyone who has you. Not just the CIA. Others might try to capture you to make use of that. I have to protect you."

"And make sure that only the CIA has me," he concluded unhappily.

He was right, but she didn't want him to focus on that. "Yes, but I don't want you in a bunker."

Another shocked look appeared on his face. "Is that what Graham wanted?"

Sarah nodded. "He would, but that presidential knowledge means he can't. You'll stay here, with me protecting you."

Chuck frowned again. She was getting used to that frown, even though she wished it wasn't there. "That brings me back to you being close to me. I work at a Buy More and live with my sister and her boyfriend. How can you be close to me?"

She'd been trying to not think about that, but knew there was only really one solution. "Graham hasn't shared his thoughts, but I can only see the one way…" She couldn't look at him as she said it. "A live-in girlfriend."

That caused Chuck to draw in his breath.

Sarah suddenly felt sick and had to concentrate on the waters to keep from getting up and running.

He eventually spoke. "That can't work. I would at least hold my girlfriend's hand. I'm not into PDA, but I would kiss my girlfriend when with my sister. I'm assuming that she's not allowed to know the truth."

He was right, of course. "We can't tell her about the Intersect."

"But-" Chuck started. She looked his way. "Can she know about my girlfriend's… contact aversion?" He obviously hesitated as he said that.

She thought about that. It would explain her avoiding contact with him. "But why would I want to be around you?"

His eyebrows raised and dropped rapidly and repeatedly. "My irresistible charm."

The whole effect of his comment, tone and that eyebrow dance had gotten to her and made her do something she'd not done since her days with Carina and the other girls. She burst out laughing. It felt good.

When she stopped, she smiled at him. "That could actually work."

"And we could pile pillows up in the middle of my bed at night."

That wiped the smile off of Sarah's face. She'd have to sleep in the same bed as him. The sickness returned and she started to shake. That need to flee came back.

He saw her reaction. "Sarah, I would never try anything, in spite of how desirable you are."

That was the first time he'd commented on her appearance, but she was surprised that it didn't increase her fear or sickness. She felt she could trust him, but could she trust herself if she woke in bed with a man? Would she instinctively grab the knife she always had under her pillow?

That wasn't the only problem, though. Could a nervous, quaking Sarah Walker be trusted to protect him?

"My sister is a neurosurgeon. She might be able to help," he commented.

Sarah looked at him flatly. "I don't need brain surgery, Chuck. She is not a psychiatrist. They're the ones that have been trying to help me."

He flushed. "Sorry. You're right. Forget I said that."

Her response had probably been too harsh. She wasn't used to conversations, let alone someone caring for her. She had to respond better. "But thanks for trying to help. I should be helping you with this, and you're trying to help me!"

"Having a girlfriend will help me, even if it's not real," Chuck quietly stated.

Sarah snorted. "Two broken people, huh?" It wasn't actually that funny, though.

He smiled slightly. "Brought together in the craziest way."

She looked at him. He was attractive. If she hadn't suffered what she had, and wasn't what she'd become, she would be drawn to him. Still, being with him might actually help her with her problem.

She summed up the situation in her head, but didn't express it. Two broken people might heal each other.

They sat quietly for the rest of the night, both deep in thought.

This was a peaceful and calming place. Sarah felt good here, sitting next to the man who was going to be her asset for the foreseeable future.

She felt that if it wasn't for her contact aversion, she'd probably be tempted to rest her head on his shoulder. She knew she could do that safely with him.

The sun had started to rise when Chuck's phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at it. "Shit! Ellie! She'll be panicking about me!"

He answered the call, but didn't move away. Sarah could hear both sides of the conversation.

"El, I'm so sorry I didn't call!"

"When you didn't come home, I worried about you and even called Morgan!" the woman's voice must've almost yelled at him. He pulled the phone away from his ear.

Then he moved it in front of his mouth. "I'm so sorry."

"In spite of what he told me, when I found you'd not returned this morning, I panicked again." Her voice started calm but then rose as she finished.

"El, I should've called you to let you know," he said. That confused Sarah. Why should he? He was twenty-six years old. "But I was out on a date. I spent the night on the beach talking to…" He looked at Sarah. "… my new girlfriend."

Sarah nodded at him, but was then shocked as a loud squeal sounded from the phone. He had to hold the phone away again.

"Ouch!" he said into it when he pulled it back.

"My god, Chuck! The date went well?"

"You don't have to be so doubtful, Sis," he mumbled.

"I want to meet her!" his sister said forcefully.

"Not yet," he thankfully replied. "Too early for 'meet the family.'"

Sarah would have agreed, but that didn't fit with her moving in with him for this cover. She heard the huff on the phone. Then her own phone rang. It was Graham, so she got up and walked away.

"Walker, secure," she answered.

"I've talked to General Beckman," he replied. She tensed, waiting to hear what he said next. "She wanted Bartowski in a bunker, but has reluctantly accepted your suggestion. Major Casey will also stay in Los Angeles." She was pleased about half of that. "We've secured two apartments in the same block as Bartowski has been living in. You will move into the two bedroomed one… with Bartowski." He paused to hear her reaction.

Relief flooded through her. She wouldn't have to sleep in the same bed as Chuck! "Thank you so much!" she let out.

Graham hummed. "I couldn't see how it could work otherwise." Then he said, "Beckman and Casey will be briefed on your… requirements." She thought he nearly said 'condition.'

He continued, "I'm concerned that you will not be able to manage this assignment, so I want you to see someone weekly."

She groaned. "Really?"

"Dr. Dreyfus in Los Angeles consults with the CIA, and sometimes with the NSA, too."

She should've expected this.

"I'll send you details of your cover job and the job you left in DC," the director said.

"Will I be working in the Buy More?" she nervously asked.

"No. Too much physical contact is likely. Major Casey will work there." He didn't seem to want to talk about what she would be doing. She guessed she'd have to just read up about it.

He ended the call and she walked back to Chuck. He'd obviously finished his conversation with his sister and was back to staring out at the waves.

Sarah sat down to tell him the news.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. She was still worried about the likelihood of physical contact and how she would react, but the new apartment would reduce the likelihood of that.

A/N: So, a different start to Sarah and Chuck's time together. Her aversion to physical contact being much greater than his, for good reason. If anyone can help her, Chuck's the one.

I'll pause this here, but, as I indicated earlier, I'm thinking I'll pick it up again when I have time.

If you like this and do want me to continue it, please leave a review. It'll give me added encouragement.