A/N: Glad you're still with us on this healing journey. It's not an easy one for our Sarah, but the help she gets from a certain nerd is important, even though there are things about him that are challenging, too.

This chapter, they'll spend more time with Carina, and go on the mission, too. Thanks to Pink Floyd for the chapter title.

Healing

Chapter 8: Shine On You Crazy Diamond

"Sarah." Chuck's voice instantly awakened her. Her eyes shot open and darted toward the door. It was open just enough for him to peek in.

She groaned, knowing what this meant. She asked anyway, "You've been called out?"

He opened the door more and she could see him dressed in his work gear. "Yeah. A woman with laptop problems."

"Can't it wait till morning?"

He shrugged. "Apparently not."

She groaned and slid her legs out of bed and got up. She noticed him glancing at her bare legs and flicked her fingers at him and he got the message and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Him looking at her legs reminded her that he so rarely looked at her body, just her face. He was the perfect gentleman most of the time. He'd see them much more in Malibu. Why doesn't that upset her?

She quickly dressed and followed him, not making any real effort to look better, other than brushing her hair .

She sat in the passenger seat of the Nerd Herder. He glanced at her and tried to hide a smile.

"What?"

"The frown and the pout communicate your feelings about coming out," he replied.

Like he often did, he managed to ease her annoyance. He was really good at that. However, he was right, she wasn't happy. "Where are we going?"

He told her and alarm bells instantly went off in her head. She turned to him as he set off. "That hotel is where Carina's staying."

He briefly looked her way and said, "It was someone foreign. Scandinavian maybe?"

She groaned. "Carina's half Swedish, she will have emphasized the accent. This isn't a real call, it's her trying to entice you into her lair."

"It might not be her, so I have to go," he replied.

Sarah leaned down and surreptitiously pulled a knife out of her ankle holster. Chuck didn't notice. She could've done this at the hotel, but holding it calmed her.

As they pulled up to the hotel, Sarah wondered if she was wrong and it was some other woman with a computer problem, but she doubted it.

When they approached room 903, Sarah tensed.

"I hope it's not her?" Chuck muttered.

Sarah said, "If it is her, don't get in my way."

He said nothing, just waited to find out. He tapped three times on the door. The door quickly opened.

Sarah pushed Chuck aside and had her knife at Carina's throat before the redhead even blinked. "I warned you."

"Please don't kill her, Sarah." Chuck pleading for Carina's life just made her angrier.

"He's right. We have a mission," Carina said slowly, as the tip of the blade dug into her neck and drew a drop of blood.

"Which we can complete with or without you," Sarah hissed.

"Sarah…" Chuck's voice almost sounded like a whine.

She glanced down at what Carina was wearing. A thin robe that had opened slightly. A bright red bra and panties set was all that she had on underneath.

"You were going to seduce him," she said. As it wasn't a question, Carina didn't have to reply.

"Try," Chuck said. Both women frowned. "She was going to try to seduce me", he filled it out.

Sarah smiled and took the knife away as Carina's eyes narrowed and said, "It would've been the time of your life."

Sarah turned to look at him to watch his response. "I don't think so," he said. Sarah wasn't surprised at him saying that. She was sure that he found Carina quite frightening. What she wasn't expecting was him to be looking her way as he said it. She gulped as the meaning sank in. The mad fool thought that being with her would be the time of his life, even though he knew that would never happen.

She buried that thought and turned back to Carina. "You heard him. Where's your laptop?" she asked, pretty sure that she knew what the answer would be.

Carina shrugged. "I don't have one. I just needed to get him here."

"And how did you know he was the one who'd be on-call?"

Carina looked at her. "I'm not blind. I saw the rota."

Sarah hadn't even thought to look for one. It made her realize she needed to be more aware of things in the Buy More. She would also reprimand Casey for not knowing. "Keep your hands off of him," she tersely said to the redhead.

"Just like you do," Carina snapped back. That hurt. Sarah ignored it, though. She grabbed Chuck's free hand and led him away from the room.

"See you tomorrow," Carina called, but neither of them replied.

As they descended in the elevator, Chuck quietly said, "That was a low blow."

She knew he meant the comment about her not touching him. "I can't, Chuck," she said just as quietly.

"I know."

They were still holding hands and he gently squeezed hers. She squeezed back. It felt like acknowledgement of their connection, that they both cared for each other, even though not expressed in the physical way Carina meant.

Mind you, Carina never cared for the men she slept with, she just used them and moved on. Sarah tightened her grip on Chuck's hand. She wouldn't let her friend do that to him.

They were both silent on the return to Echo Park, but when they entered the apartment, she stopped him before they separated to go to their respective bedrooms. He gave her a puzzled look.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. I saw how you looked at me. You deserve a real girlfriend, not me."

He just locked eyes with her. She found his hazel ones drawing her in. "Sarah, I've not had a girlfriend for six years. I've felt more alive in the time with you than ever, even with Jill. We don't need physical contact for me to know you're the best girlfriend I could have."

He was serious about this. She felt a tear escape, something that never happened unless in pain.

She stood on tiptoes, cupped his face and tenderly kissed him. His arms encircled her waist and he pulled her closer, his lips pressing harder on hers. She didn't fight it, or want to.

When they separated, she just said, "Thank you," and looked in his eyes again. They were swirling with emotion and she knew she'd gone too far with that kiss. She hadn't meant to lead him on. She was sad as she said, "I'm sorry, Chuck. I shouldn't have done that. I don't want you to see me as a tease."

"I didn't think you were, Sarah. But thank you for the kiss. It was lovely."

She could feel tears were heading her way. She didn't want that to happen in front of him. "I have to get some sleep," she rushed out, and then quickly headed to her bedroom.

Once inside, she leaned back on the door and breathed out a sigh and let the tears escape, not many, but even those few were telling.

Before being raped, she'd spent years burying emotions which were a weakness and a danger for an operative. That awful time had ripped her open in more ways than the obvious. After the two years of therapy, she'd managed to almost bury them again, but they were obviously closer to the surface than she thought. She was certainly unprepared for Chuck Bartowski. It wasn't painful like the last few years, but painful all the same. She found herself wanting Chuck in a way that both her role and her condition couldn't allow.

After a minute, her heart stopped beating so fast, and she wiped her cheeks and stripped down to go back to bed. Hopefully, Chuck would get no other calls and they could both get some sleep, although she wasn't sure her thoughts allow that.

As soon as her head rested on the pillow, she fell asleep.

The following morning, Sarah contacted Carina to say she refused to wear a bikini. Carina turned up at the apartment and silently handed her a dress to wear and then walked away. That suited Sarah who didn't want to talk to her after the night before.

When Casey picked Carina up at her hotel, she was also wearing a dress. Shorter and more revealing than the one she'd given Sarah, but still a dress. Sarah wondered if bikinis had ever been on the agenda. The dress she was wearing still seemed far too revealing, though. She felt incredibly exposed. It was a halter dress with the deepest plunging neckline she had ever worn. It completely exposed the skin between her breasts, all the way to her navel. However, she decided to also wear a semi-transparent long-sleeved cover on top that reached down to her hips. It wasn't much, but it would prevent any physical contact unless anyone reached down for her bare leg on the one side.

Feeling uncomfortable, Sarah sat beside Chuck. He had, as she'd expected, worn a t-shirt and shorts. He was careful to keep his bare leg away from hers. He'd not mentioned the awkwardness of what had happened when they'd returned to the apartment the night before, but she could tell it was on his mind during the glances she'd received. It was all typical of him, the perfect gentleman who cared for her.

When they walked into the compound, she decided to stay close to Chuck rather than leave to scan the area as she would've done in other circumstances. Why does being with him like this make me feel safe?

Carina pointed out a man in swimming trunks sitting at the pool's edge with women all over him. "Peyman Alahi, his house, his party, his diamond... for now."

Chuck commented on him, "What? Are you talking about Senior Wookie over there?"

Sarah recognized the name from the Star Wars movie that she'd watched with Chuck. She had to stop herself from laughing. Alahi had enough chest and back hair to appear like he was wearing a sweater.

Carina wandered off leaving the two of them together. "I want to assess the place," Chuck said and they set off. She felt proud of him. This wasn't his field of expertise, but you'd never know. She observed some things as well.

Chuck told her what he was seeing, "I count six SVB-54 explosion-protected security cameras with infrared surveillance."

Sarah hadn't expected the detail. "Did you have a flash?"

He smiled at her for the first time that day. "No, they sell them at the spy shop in the Buy More Plaza." She wasn't sure if that was a joke or reality.

When they met up with Carina again, Sarah said, "There's a southern egress with two armed guards and by the garage exit, three more."

Chuck said, "Thermal imaging cameras on the north and west walls."

That made Sarah comment, "Someone really doesn't want us getting in there."

Carina didn't seem bothered. "Let's go for a little stroll."

They casually made their way through the back garden and reached the back of the main house where there was a locked entrance. Carina dropped down to pick the lock while Sarah scanned the area to make sure no one was watching.

Once unlocked, Carina opened the door and the three of them slipped inside. They walked down the stairs to the lower level. Facing them was what looked like a gallery. There was an electronic lock on this which Carina managed to overcome.

The diamond was on a pedestal in the center of the room. The rest of the small room contained paintings and sculptures, probably all priceless.

They'd achieved their reconnaissance mission, finding the diamond. That would inform the heist for the following day. Sarah stated it was time to go before they were discovered, but Carina seemed to have other plans, and loitered.

It was maybe a minute later that Alahi Payman appeared at the open door with armed guards. Sarah could only assume that the electronic lock that Carina had open had also alerted his security. The redhead's wandering around the room had delayed them long enough for them to be found.

Peyman saw them looking at the diamond and said, "It's impossible to steal. If touched, the vault will seal itself off; the gas will fill the room; and after that, my security team would eliminate the threat. You will come with us now."

Sarah had no intention of being caught again, so she sprang into action. Taking a running leap, her feet hit the jaws of the two guards. Both fell backward and the head of one hit the bottom step of the stairs. The other tried to get up, but she kicked him in the face and he went down, too.

Alahi was reaching for a button beside the door, but Carina kicked his wrist and then punched him in the face. He fell to the floor.

"Come on!" Sarah shouted, but Carina ran back in where Chuck was still staring at them, frowning.

He said, "Um... the guy wearing the fur sweater failed to mention one fairly significant security detail. 20,000 volts of electricity protecting the stone."

"So, we leave it and plan how to overcome it," Sarah hissed.

Carina said to Chuck, "For our follow-up mission, what do you recommend?"

Chuck considered and said, "Well, now that we know that there's a trap, I might use compressed air to knock it off the pedestal. But then get out fast before the door seals."

Carina started scanning the room. Sarah knew she was about to improvise, but they'd already gone so far that they'd not achieve anything by leaving and coming back. They'd never get near the place the next day.

Carina spotted the fire extinguisher at the same time as Sarah, but was closer. She grabbed it and before warning the others, she blasted the diamond off the display. Chuck only just managed to catch it. She threw a velvet bag at him and rushed to the doorway that had a panel sliding down as gas poured in from the sides of the room.

"Shit!" he cried out. Sarah grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the door pushing him ahead of her and only just managed to slide under herself before the door came down. Her hair was caught under it and she thrust her clutch bag into Chuck's free hand. "You have to cut my hair or I'll never get out."

He dropped the diamond and Carina's bag into Sarah's clutch bag and carefully pulled one of her blades out of the enclosed holster. "Keep your hands down and lie still," he said. As if she'd do anything else! She nearly chuckled at the situation, but then he knelt very close to her head. His bare knee was less than an inch from her ear. She closed her eyes, feeling the tension rising.

Thankfully, Chuck was aware of all this. He didn't even hesitate, and suddenly she was free. She moved away quickly and he lowered the blade. She smiled her thanks, grabbed the blade, re-holstered it and attached the holster to her thigh before closing her bag.

Carina had already grabbed a gun from one of the downed guards and called out. "Come on!"

Sarah grabbed the other guard's gun and followed, with Chuck just behind her.

As they made their escape, fighting their way through Alahi's men, Carina kept glancing at Sarah's clutch bag.

She's gonna try to snatch it off of me, Sarah realized. She wants the diamond for herself, not the team. Just as Graham and Beckman had thought.

Carina led them away from where they'd parked because that route was more densely packed with men. Men who were shooting at them, but failing to hit them. Carina and Sarah were better shots and were taking men out. They reached a gate and ran through and headed down to the beach.

"Call Casey," Sarah said to Chuck, who did so as he ran.

When they reached the sand, Carina whirled round and snatched at Sarah's clutch, only to find one of Sarah's blades at her throat again. The clutch bag dropped to the sand. "You never learn, do you, Red?" Sarah calmly stated.

"This is my mission," Carina stated. "I should take the diamond in." She was careful not to move.

Chuck picked the bag up and stepped back.

"Thanks, Chuck," Sarah said.

"Please don't kill her," Chuck quietly said.

Carina leaped back, away from Sarah and the blade. Sarah raised her gun instead.

"She's a killer, Chuckie," Carina said. "You know that, don't you. She can't be trusted. Throw me the bag and I'll take the diamond. You know it's the right thing to do."

"Oh, I can trust her," Chuck replied. "But not you."

Why did that statement make Sarah feel so pleased? Of course he would trust her, after all she'd done for him, over someone new to him.

Sarah glanced at him and saw, over his shoulder, that men were running onto the beach. "Oh shit!" she exclaimed. Carina hadn't known, but Sarah's gun was out of bullets.

"She's running," Chuck said, pointing behind Sarah. Turning, she saw Carina running into the water, pulling off her dress and clambering onto a jet ski that had appeared.

"It's how she'd get away with the diamond if you'd thrown it to her," she hissed.

Looking back, the men were getting within firing range. "Run!" she yelled at Chuck.

Just as they started off, Casey appeared just behind them in a large 4x4. "Get in," he shouted as he started firing at the men, who dived behind rocks to avoid being hit.

As he set off with Sarah in the back and Chuck beside him in the front, Casey growled, "I take it you decided to take the diamond."

"Carina did," Sarah angrily replied. "But we've got it now."

"And her?"

"Escaped on a jet ski," Chuck replied. "She just abandoned us." He looked more surprised about that than everything else.

Sarah had already told Chuck that the mission was more important than the individuals in the normal spy world. She had to remind him of that here.

"But she's your friend," he said, not accepting that.

Sarah no longer really thought that and just huffed.

"She's not aware of how valuable you are, Bartowski," Casey commented.

Sarah could see Chuck tense at that. "You mean what's in my head," he muttered.

Sarah couldn't disagree with that in front of Casey, but she would have to talk to Chuck later.

Ten minutes later, her phone rang and she saw that it was Carina. "What?" she said on answering it.

"That diamond's mine," Carina growled. "I should have it."

"Not according to our orders," Sarah replied. "Besides, you left us to die back there."

Carina snarled, "I knew Casey would get to you."

"When we report your actions, the CIA will pass on your failure to the DEA, who will have your ass," Sarah said.

"This isn't over," Carina growled and ended the call.

"Nice," Casey said.

When they reached Casey's apartment, Sarah was going to hand it to Casey to put in his safe, but Chuck asked to have a good look at it first.

He visibly flashed on it and looked up in horror. "The diamond we stole from the wooly mammoth, the Nadan-I-Noor, it's not a drug diamond. It belongs to an Afghani terrorist group. It is way more dangerous than we thought."

Casey growled. "They won't give up on that. They may come here, or go after Carina, not knowing who has it."

"What'll they do to her if she doesn't have it?" Chuck asked.

"She's as good as dead," Casey replied.

Chuck immediately responded, "We can't let her die!"

Casey shrugged. "Happens to the best of us."

Sarah grabbed her phone and called Carina, who answered immediately, "Sarah?"

"Carina, the diamond is dangerous," Sarah told her.

"So, I've just been told. You need to bring it to me," Carina replied.

In spite of her calm manner, Sarah read between the lines. Carina must've been captured and the men were implying they'd exchange the diamond for her life. Sarah ended the call and told the two men.

Chuck's eyes widened. "They caught her? They'll torture her?"

Sarah saw he was spiraling. She imagined him rushing off with the diamond with the intention of handing it over to save Carina.

"Chuck, giving them the diamond wouldn't save her. They'd still kill her." She took it back and handed it to Casey. "Keep this safe. I'll go and find her."

"I'll come too," Chuck said.

Casey quickly locked the diamond in the safe. "No. We won't risk you or the Intersect on this one. We'll drop you off at the Buy More."

"Oh, great!" Chuck frustratingly said. Then he looked at Sarah. "You must be careful," he said to her. "Don't get caught."

That sent a chill through her, but she just nodded.

She rushed to their apartment, and pulled on some pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt before heading out.

They dropped a grumbling Chuck off at the Buy More. Sarah walked with him to the entrance. "Do not follow us, Chuck." He just nodded and went into the store.

As Sarah climbed into the Crown Vic, Casey said, "I put a trace on her phone." He soon got a signal on the display in the center console.

Looking closely, Sarah recognized the location. "That's her hotel."

Casey set off.

Sarah called Chuck who had just reached the Nerd Herd desk. "They're at her hotel. Can you tap into the security system and find them?"

"Sure," he replied.

Before they got to the hotel, Chuck had sent images of Carina in the hotel bar, surrounded by men. The various camera shots, showing the scene from different angles were very helpful.

"He's good," Casey muttered.

Sarah knew that about Chuck, but it was still good to hear her partner say it.

When they reached the hotel, Sarah and Casey approached the bar from different entrances.

Sarah walked in confidently from the main entrance. As they'd seen on the images Chuck had sent, there were three men sitting. She knew there were two standing beside the entrance she walked through, so they were now behind her.

Alahi was standing behind a seated Carina, holding a gun to her head. He glared at Sarah.

Carina nodded to her, indicating that she was ready to move when Sarah gave her a signal.

"Do you have what I want?" Alahi demanded.

Sarah heard Casey say over her ear piece, "Got a lock on the ones behind you."

Sarah looked at Alahi and said, "You can have it when you release her."

Alahi snorted and said, "Not how this works."

"Very well, you can have it, but then you immediately release her," she said. He nodded and she reached into her jacket pocket. She nodded to Carina and whipped out her gun, shooting all three seated men, while two bullets flew past her at the two men behind her.

Carina had grabbed Alahi's gun and twisted it from him.

It had only taken a few seconds and it was all over.

Carina looked at Sarah. "The diamond?"

"Safe," Sarah replied.

"It's not yours, Blondie," Carina hissed.

Sarah nodded. "Nor yours."

They left Carina at the hotel after the men were taken away.

As Casey drove to the Wienerlicious, he asked, "How did Bartowski know which hotel she was at?"

She grinned. "Carina called the on-call support asking for him to fix her computer. It was a bogus call. She wanted to bed him."

"She's hard to resist," he said.

"Yeah, I know you were a previous conquest."

Casey ignored that comment. "I take it Bartowski turned her down."

Sarah laughed. "He did, which she didn't like."

"I bet!" he smirked. He then glanced at her. "He's fallen for you big time, hasn't he?"

She suspected so, but replied, "I doubt it. I think he's frightened of me."

"Maybe," he replied and they continued in silence.

Sarah was thinking about Casey's comment. She knew the kisses they'd shared had been good for the cover, as well as good for her sessions with the doctor, but in spite of their conversation, she worried that she was unintentionally leading Chuck on.

Sarah joined Chuck and Casey in the Buy More Home Theater room and faced Beckman and Graham.

"Capturing the Nadan-I-Noor diamond has dissolved Peyman Alahi's credibility," Beckman stated. "On top of facing a jail sentence, his network has fallen apart."

Graham added, "We were also able to thwart the purchase of $26 million of surface-to-air missiles the Afghani terrorist group was planning on buying. No diamond, no cash, no sale. Job well done, people."

Sarah had a few things to discuss with Chuck when she collected him from the Buy More later that day, but didn't really know how to start, so drove in silence. He seemed deep in thought too.

When they were getting ready for bed, Chuck said, "I'm not going to do anything untoward, Sarah, but I think you'd sleep better with me than on your own."

Surprisingly, she didn't tense as he suggested it. She knew she could trust him. She also knew her nightmares weren't helping her perform during the day. Maybe she wouldn't have them when with him.

"Ok," she said, in little more than a whisper.

She got ready for bed, wondering about wearing full length pajamas but decided that she may get too hot, so just a t-shirt and shorts.

Chuck looked away as she entered the room, which eased the final bit of tension in her. She smiled. "You saw my legs at the compound, Chuck."

"It's still impolite to stare," he replied.

Sarah wished that they'd further discussed their relationship earlier, but guessed they were now going to do it lying down next to each other. However, he brought something else up.

"I know you have to kill people, Sarah, but all that death you dealt out at the compound really got to me."

She sighed. "I wish it wasn't necessary, but it often is." She looked at him and asked, "Does it make you think less of me?" His answer suddenly felt really important to her.

"Hey, you've done nothing wrong," he quickly said. "I'm not upset with you."

She let out the breath that she'd been holding. "I want to hug you for being so accepting," she said. "But that's probably the worst thing I could do."

She looked down rather than into his eyes anymore. However, she did notice the grin that appeared on his face. She knew he was about to use humor to make her feel better. "That'd be a bad idea. I'm so irresistible that you'd find your arms and legs wrapping themselves around me. Not good for someone avoiding contact."

She looked up, grateful again, but couldn't resist saying, "What if I wear a full bodystocking?"

His eyes froze as he imagined that. She couldn't hold in the laugh that escaped. But she stifled it and apologized. "I'm sorry, Chuck. I shouldn't be making things worse for you. You're changing me. I never joked or teased before."

He smiled. "Maybe I'm good for you, then."

That reminded her of needing to talk to him about how valuable he was. She placed a hand on the back of his. "Chuck, earlier, when Casey mentioned that Carina didn't know how valuable you are, you stated that it was about the Intersect. I couldn't say anything in front of Casey, as he would tell Beckman that I'm compromised, but you, yourself, have made a difference, not just with what's in your head. I see you as an important member of the team, with or without the Intersect. And, yes, you are good for me."

He looked surprised at those words and seemed to be considering them. "Compromised?" he finally asked.

She cursed herself for saying that. She had to explain it, though. "We're officially in an asset / handler relationship. A handler can't have feelings for their asset, or they're seen as compromised."

He looked at her and she knew what his next question would be. "And are you?"

She thought about how much she needed him, how he was really helping her, making being with someone so easy. Is that all it is? Is that what made her kiss him for the second time?

She didn't really know. She had to be honest with herself, and with him. She gazed into his eyes and saw hope there. "I don't know, Chuck. I honestly don't know. You are good for me and I need you, but does that make me compromised? We can't touch each other because of my condition. That's not fair on you or… a relationship." She didn't know what else to say.

He twisted his hand around and squeezed hers. "This is all the touching we need, Sarah. I don't need to touch your skin. I just want to be with you. I've never felt about anyone like I do about you. Your kisses have been magical."

She inwardly tensed as he mentioned touching her skin, but his other words got to her in a different way. Those damn tears were trying to escape again. "You deserve better," she muttered. It was only just above a whisper.

"No, Sarah. You deserve better. Being stuck here with me is a terrible thing for someone like you and I don't just mean with your condition. You're so much better than me."

She frowned and snapped a reply, "Don't say that about my boyfriend!"

A grin was slowly appearing on his face. "You almost sound serious."

She nodded. "Well, you are my boyfriend!" she honestly replied, even if only in a cover relationship. Then she said, more seriously, "With my past, I don't feel better than you. It's the other way around."

"Keeping the world safe for people like me is so much better than fixing computers and phones."

He never ceased to surprise her with how he saw things. She didn't want to argue with him before setting off. "Thank you, Chuck, for being how you are. You're such a kind soul."

Oh, to hell with keeping separate. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. That contact wasn't upsetting at all.

As she settled back onto her side, facing him, she looked fondly at him. "Goodnight, Chuck."

"Goodnight, Sarah," he replied. His eyes looked just as fondly back.

She closed her eyes and went to sleep feeling good.

A/N: Goodbye, Carina, and thank you. You might've helped these two, without planning it.

If you have the time, I'd really appreciate a review. They dropped off a bit for the last chapter.