A/N: I'm getting this out fairly quickly so that it's available to read before Christmas Day. Consequently, some people may not have had a chance to read the last chapter or, therefore, leave reviews. If you did, I thank you. Some of those people are still doubtful about Graham, so I have to state categorically that he isn't like in the show; he's not only a good man, but a good boss that looks after his people. This is the second time I've had him on the good side, and I find it fun.

Thanks again to my friend Ironclad2022 for casting her eye over a couple of the sections in this. It'll be obvious which they were when you get to them. Keeping some of this T-rated is a challenge.

This chapter will cover the end of "Chuck versus the Crown Vic," specifically the party festivities.

Healing

Chapter 17: Holiday Season

When the team returned to Echo Park, Casey got a notification that there would be a video call. None of them had had a chance to change before they faced Graham and Beckman in Casey's apartment. Graham smiled at what Sarah was wearing, whereas the general raised an eyebrow.

"Well done, team," Graham said. "Chuck, It seems that you and the Intersect triumphed again."

The general just nodded. Sarah wasn't sure about the woman's feelings toward her boyfriend.

Chuck replied, "Thank you, Sir."

"He flashed on the crate, so that was the Intersect at play, but Bartowski also saved the NSA team, without the need for it," Casey said. Chuck and Sarah looked his way. It was unusual for him to praise Chuck in these sessions. Sarah smiled, nodding, Chuck just looked surprised and grateful. Beckman was frowning slightly.

"So, he's an invaluable member of the team, " Graham said.

"Yes, Sir," Casey replied, without looking at his superior. Clearly, he was trying to send her a message.

Beckman ended the call at her end. Graham paused for a second, then cut his connection.

"What was that about?" Chuck asked.

"The general wanted an experienced agent to get the Intersect, preferably NSA," Casey said, turning toward his kitchen.

"Instead, she got someone who could effectively use it when needed," Sarah commented.

Casey grunted his acknowledgement.

Chuck and Sarah walked to their apartment, both deep in thought. When they got there, Chuck said, "Should we be worried about the general?"

Sarah turned to him. "If you can tap into her calls and record them, it might be a good idea."

Before doing anything else, he quickly hacked in and set up alerts for when she made calls. He was moving on to her emails, when she did make a call.

"She's making one now," he called to his girlfriend. He immediately started a recording and fed the call to his speakers so that both of them could listen.

The person at the other end of the general's call answered, "Casey." Chuck looked at Sarah with a raised brow.

"Major. I am calling to inform you that the test version of the new Intersect computer was successful. This means it should be fully up and running soon."

Casey hesitated then said, "But Bartowski is now a federal agent."

She sighed. "Indeed, he is, although I didn't agree with that happening."

"And he's saving lives, General."

"He is," she reluctantly replied. "We will have to change our plans."

"What do you want me to do?" Casey asked.

Beckman sighed again. "For now, hold off, I will try to get Graham to see him differently." Then, her tone softened. "Oh, and... John?"

She never used his first name. Sarah knew he hated it, but guessed that it indicated an unofficial comment was coming.

Casey replied, "Yeah?" Just as informal.

Beckman's actual reply made Sarah dislike the woman even more. "Happy Holidays."

As the call ended, Sarah turned to Chuck. "We have to discuss this with Director Graham," she said.

"Not tonight, though," Chuck replied. "I'm too stressed and exhausted."

Sarah felt the same. "I'll wear a t-shirt to bed. Neither of us are in the mood for anything else."

He nodded and headed to the bathroom.

The following morning, they checked Beckman's previous calls. In an earlier one to Casey, over a month ago, she talked about this new Intersect, and she added, "Of course, Bartowski will then have to be eliminated."

Both of them gasped. No consideration was made to sending him into a bunker, just elimination.

Sarah immediately wondered if the director also thought this was the right thing to do back then. If he had, he seemed to have changed his mind since.

Chuck was going to say something, but Sarah hushed him so that they could continue to listen.

"Why, General," Casey asked, sounding surprised.

"Major Casey, we can't have an untrained Intersect lose. He's a menace."

"He's not a menace! He's been making a difference!" Casey argued. Sarah was surprised at Casey defending him to his superior.

Beckman's cold tone was very insistent, "Major, you will follow orders!"

He was silent for a few moments, but then said, "Yes, General."

"I'm an American citizen who has done nothing wrong!" Chuck said as soon as the call ended. "It can't be legal, can it?"

Sarah shook her head. "No, I don't think it is, but who would've challenged them?" She pulled him into her arms and hugged him. "Thankfully, Graham doesn't think that way." 'Now,' she thought.

They reported both calls to Director Graham, and Chuck sent the recordings as evidence.

Graham seemed embarrassed about the original termination order. "I had thought it might be best a month ago."

"So, you wanted me terminated, too?" Chuck asked, shock visible on his face.

"But then I saw what a difference you were making, not just the Intersect in your head. I'm surprised the general can't see it, too. I will have that discussion with her. Put her straight."

"Chuck's not a military mindset, Director. The CIA is more flexible than the NSA."

"True. Leave it with me."

Two days later, Graham got back to them. The tension between the two of them had prevented any intimacy before that.

For the second night running, she'd worn a t-shirt, but Chuck was still cuddling her from behind when she awoke. His hand was on her bare stomach. It had felt as intimate as she could face in her current state of anxiety.

The briefing had been at their usual location, Sarah's office, so when the call ended she and Chuck waited for a few moments and Graham called again.

"The general tried to persuade me that an untrained Intersect 'on the loose' was a risk when the new Intersect is operational in agents' heads."

"Does she see me running around, letting out secrets?" Chuck grumbled.

Graham continued, "I pointed out that you were the only one who had demonstrated the ability to use it effectively, and that others may not be able to cope, which she had to acknowledge. I also pointed out that your 'untrained mind' came up with unexpected and successful approaches to our problems." Sarah agreed totally, but stayed silent as he continued.

"I finished by telling her that any unsanctioned hits on you, or if you disappeared, would result in her being held responsible. It would be illegal."

Sarah took a deep breath on hearing that. "How did she take that?" she asked.

He chuckled. "She blanched." He continued more seriously, though. "She conceded that you are the only known, viable Intersect, and that your unorthodox ideas do make a difference. I think she will treat you with more respect going forward."

"And if it proves that others can handle the new Intersect?" Chuck asked.

"Your mind makes you as valuable to us as the Intersect in your head, Chuck," Graham replied. "Having acknowledged that, the general should behave."

Sarah noted the 'should.'

"So, is that it? Threat averted?" Chuck asked.

"I believe so," Graham answered.

"Thank you, Sir," they responded in unison.

He nodded and ended the call.

Sarah pulled Chuck into a deep and passionate kiss.

As their lips parted, he just said, "Wow!"

"Do you mind if I leave my t-shirt off tonight?" She was sure that he wouldn't, but felt she should ask.

Chuck was still holding her and leaned in again. "I can't wait to go to bed now," he breathed into her ear, sending a shiver up and down her spine.

God! There's a whole day to get through first!

It was another three days before Sarah met with Doctor Silvia James again.

On the last two nights, Sarah attempted to touch herself in the bathroom again. She thought that maybe the releases she experienced with Chuck's hands on her breast would make it more likely to go well. How wrong she was.

However, she managed to fight back the gag that threatened, so wasn't sick, which she concluded was good news, but she couldn't proceed. Each night it soured her mood and she wore her t-shirt as she left the bathroom. Chuck knew exactly what that meant. She did, however, fall asleep in their usual spooning position and his arm around her. The comfort he gave was perfect, as usual.

All this had taken her mind off her determination to give him some relief, but she remembered that as she walked to the doctor's office.

Silvia didn't seem surprised at Sarah's lack of progress on herself, but pleased and intrigued at what she and Chuck had done together. "You seem to be following your own path to healing," she commented.

"I'm only doing any of this in order to have a full relationship with Chuck," Sarah admitted.

That elicited a frown from the doctor. "You should be doing it for yourself, but I guess after all the time without, you needed this impetus."

Sarah steeled herself, but blushed furiously as she said, "I also want to give him relief, but am having difficulty touching him in that way."

Silvia looked startled. "That's not what these sessions are about."

"If I can't do that, the guilt will build up so much that all this will be for nothing."

The woman looked at her for a while, obviously trying to decide what to say. "Were you made to do that when you were raped?"

Sarah hadn't expected that question. "No, my hands were bound."

"So why do you think it's a problem?"

Sarah had to think for a moment. "Because what I would have to wrap my hands around is what raped me."

"But it's not, is it? This is your loving boyfriend's. Do you think he would rape you?"

Sarah was horrified at even hearing that suggestion. "God, no! He's so loving and caring. He would never do that!" As she calmed slightly, she added, "I'll probably even have to force him to have sex with me when I'm ready."

"I suggest that when you are going to hold him and do what you are planning, you don't think of it as a means of intercourse, but what you've been saying. You are giving him the pleasure that he's been giving you."

Sarah took that on board and was determined to at least try.

"And as for working on yourself, for now, don't try any penetration."

Sarah's eyes widened in shock. "I haven't!"

Silvia nodded. "Just keep trying. It won't be quick, but it will happen."

When the session finished and Sarah was about to leave, the doctor said, "It's good that you have a kind and loving boyfriend. He is obviously helping you a lot."

Sarah beamed at her. "He's wonderful." she gushed.

Silvia smiled at her reaction. "Have a Happy Christmas, Sarah."

Silvia saying that was a reminder that she wasn't American.

Sarah had never been happy at this time of year before, but she thought this one might be different. "You too," she replied.

That night, Sarah made no attempt to work on herself. She walked quickly into their bedroom, just in panties, carrying a small towel, and told Chuck to lie on his back.

He knew exactly what she was intending and immediately questioned it. "Are you sure?"

"I've been wanting to do this for a while, but needed a talk with the doctor before I could."

"You're the one needing healing, not me," he argued.

"That's only partly true," she replied. "Our whole sex life needs healing."

He couldn't really argue with that. However, he needed a bit more encouragement before he was ready for what she wanted to do. Sarah straddled him and she placed both of his hands onto her breasts. It wasn't long before she could feel it was affecting him, just as it was her. When she climaxed, she shuddered, but managed to control herself enough to climb off of him.

She quickly pulled his boxers down, seeing him that way for the first time. Panic started to rise, but she repeatedly said to herself, 'This is not a rapist, this is the perfect man, your wonderful boyfriend.'

Sitting beside him, she reached over and wrapped her hand around him.

"Oh god, Sarah!" he gasped out. "That feels amazing." It was the encouragement she needed.

She found that it wasn't an unpleasant experience, and his reactions made her so happy. It even gave her strong feelings down below, which was a surprise.

He didn't take as long as she'd expected. 'Probably been a while,' she thought. It made a mess on his stomach, of course, but she quickly cleaned that up with the towel.

"It's so much better with you doing it," he finally breathed out.

That made her wonder about what she'd been attempting in the bathroom. Would it be possible if he touched her? Strangely, panic didn't rise at that thought, as she would've expected. Maybe they should try that, although she knew she'd have to persuade him first, which may not be easy.

He pulled up his boxers, grabbed a clean pair and headed into the bathroom.

As she lay on her back, Sarah reflected on the fact that she liked what she'd seen and felt, but also what she'd done to him. That was really good and boded well for their future.

It wasn't long before two very satisfied people fell asleep wrapped around each other.

There were no more missions that week, which was just as well. The Buy More was manic as they got closer and closer to Christmas, so Casey was extremely busy, as was Chuck.

On the day of their party, getting the staff to work was difficult. They were more focused on what was to happen after the store closed.

Eventually, the long day was over, and the party would start in an hour's time. Chuck and Sarah headed home to change.

Sarah knew there would be dancing, something she would enjoy, but the whole Christmas thing was getting to her a bit.

"Sarah, are you upset?" Chuck suddenly asked.

She hadn't realized she was that obvious. She sighed. ""No. Not upset. I just don't normally like Christmas." He knew her life was difficult after the rape, but not fully understood her feelings about the festive period before that. "I never had a happy time at Christmas as a child and when I joined the CIA I needed to keep working all the time to avoid the reminder of how lonely I was, how alone I was. I hid away from others unless I was killing someone's loved one, which was obviously bad."

He pulled her into his embrace. "What were you expecting to do this year?"

"I was originally thinking I would go back to DC until the new year," she admitted. "Casey would protect you." She stirred in his arms and he released her. She looked at him seriously. "Now, I want to stay with you. But… I'm worried I'm going to ruin Christmas for you, Ellie and Devon."

He pulled her tightly to him and kissed her. "Sarah, you not being here would put a much bigger dampener on everything. You're part of the family now. They would miss you, but I would be devastated, especially if I knew you were on your own in DC."

"I know. Me, too," she quietly admitted.

"We will introduce you to a Bartowski Christmas. We all love you and want you to be happy. We wouldn't be, if you weren't there."

She kissed him with all the love in her.

When they got to the Buy More, the party was just about to start. Big Mike walked out in a Santa suit. "Okay, people. The official Buy More Christmas-"

Lester interrupted him, "Hey, now."

Big Mike nodded and corrected himself, "… Holiday Party is about to commence." He looked around his team. "As a reminder, I will accept all gifts, cash and checks in my office or under the tree." He paused. "Keep it clean, and be prepared to get down!"

The music began and people started dancing.

Sarah spotted Casey looking brighter than expected, but still standing off to one side. She walked over. "Not partying, Casey?"

"Not my thing," Casey gruffly replied. He then looked at her. "I don't know what Graham did, but Beckman has changed her views on Bartowski."

She nodded. "Good."

"It is good," he replied. "And his status change is good, too." He looked closely at her. "You two can be more open now."

She was shocked to hear him say that. "What d'you mean?"

"Come on, Walker. You're both infatuated with each other. I don't know what you do behind the closed door of your apartment, but now you could try more than a cover outside."

She didn't know what to say and he just walked off to get a drink.

Sarah walked back to Chuck who was talking to Morgan and Anna.

"Looking beautiful," the bearded man said.

This evening, Sarah was wearing a tight red t-shirt, along with long black gloves that between them covered her arms. Black denim jeans covered her legs, and her heels were high enough that her lips were almost on a level with Chuck's. She wanted to kiss him, but couldn't in front of others.

Anna huffed, and thankfully Morgan noticed. "Almost as beautiful as my girlfriend," he added.

Anna dragged him away.

Jeff staggered up to them and held something high in the space between them. "Mistletoe," he announced. His eyes didn't focus on them. He was obviously already drunk.

Chuck grinned. "Sarah can't, but thanks Jeff."

Jeff looked at what he was holding, horrified. "Sorry!" He staggered off muttering to himself.

"How about a dance?" Chuck asked.

Sarah grinned. "Thought you'd never ask."

They started dancing on the spot. Sarah went all out and was all over him, although no flesh made contact. Chuck was clumsy at first, but soon relaxed. His PDA aversion seemed completely forgotten.

When the slow songs started, they held onto each other. "I love you, Chuck," she whispered into his ear.

"I love you, too, Sarah."

They stayed until the very end, then went home and made each other very happy in bed.

Christmas Day was supposed to be a time of peace and celebration. Birth and new life. Happiness and bringing together family, whether your own or the whole family of humankind.

For Sarah, it was possibly the worst day of the year. it had been a time of destroying happiness. Whether that was separating people from their money or possessions, as she had in her youth, or from their lives and families from their loved ones, as she had in her later CIA career. She hated all of it.

When she was not out dealing death, she was hiding from the world in her dark DC apartment with curtains drawn. And she would be thinking about everything she'd done and how miserable it made her feel. But she would also think about how alone she was, while most people were enjoying the day with loved ones.

She'd shared her feelings about this with Chuck on Christmas Eve, and knew that he was determined for this Christmas Day to be different for her.

She awoke in his arms. Their nearly naked bodies were wrapped together. That was a wonderful start, already emphasizing that life had changed and she was no longer alone. She was loved by this wonderful man.

Of course, their growing love life was part of that, but not everything. Obviously this, being held by him was wonderful, but being with him at all made her feel happy. He was a drug for her, in that way.

Merry Christmas," he said, and for once that felt true, corny though it was. She didn't repeat it, but said, "I love you," instead. She thought that was one of the things that Christmas was about. Love. The rest of the day reaffirmed that thought.

After a leisurely breakfast, they showered and got themselves ready for walking across the courtyard. She wasn't surprised that the day with Ellie, Devon and her boyfriend was wonderful. Not everything was as she expected, but it was possibly the best day she had ever experienced. She basked in the love they shared with her, and she shared her love with them.

When she finally climbed into bed that night, just in panties, she said to her boyfriend, "I love Christmas with you and your family, Chuck."

"You're part of the family now, Sarah," he replied.

The warm feeling that generated was a final reminder of how he had changed her life, earning him a deep kiss.

She drifted off to sleep thinking that as long as she could keep Chuck Bartowski safe, she could have many such wonderful Christmas Days in the future. It never occurred to her that unconsciously she was assuming she would stay with him, no matter what.

A/N: So, a slightly shorter chapter this time, and mission-free. I didn't go into detail about what Sarah experienced during the Bartowski Christmas Day. That's been done many times before, but I wanted to at least get the day in this chapter.

Hope you liked it. Please let me know, one way or another, in a review.