Chapter 8 - Down the Rabbit Hole

The Quarry Campsite

Andrea hadn't moved from her sister the entire night since the attack on the camp and had stayed by her side all morning as well. Her skin had gone cold and pale blue but Andrea clung to her still. She had stopped crying by now, physically unable to cry any more but the ache in her chest still remained. Amy, her sweet little sister. It was her birthday today and she never lived to see it. The dolphin necklace Andrea had taken from the store in Atlanta felt like it was burning a hole in her pocket and she pulled it out, slowly draping it around Amy's bloodstained neck. Amy's entire form appeared to be covered in her blood. The black stars on her shirt were barely visible now due to the staining.

Andrea knew what was coming and what would need to be done but she savored these last few remaining moments with her sister where everything was calm and she could just pretend she was sleeping. She brushed back her sister's hair fondly and wished she could go back to yesterday. It seemed like so long ago now. Her baby sister, so full of life, was such a bright light in a dark world. A world which now felt lifeless and empty.

As she clutched Amy's hands in her own, she froze when she felt a twitch; not sure if she had imagined it or not. Leaning down, Andrea listened closely for any sign that Amy had come back. Her hands began to twitch more violently and Andrea knew her time was up. Watching as Amy slowly shuddered back to life, Andrea took one last look at her sister as she was, knowing that whatever was coming back to her now was not her Amy. As the body of Amy came to, listless, milky-white eyes looked up unaware and unconscious and it became restless as it noticed Andrea hovering overhead.

"Amy? Amy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not ever being there. I always thought there would be more time." Amy began to paw at Andrea in an attempt to pull her down. Her growling and groaning was loud enough now to draw the attention of those in the camp.

Tess watched from afar, not at all envious of the position Andrea was in now. She never knew Amy and hadn't had the opportunity to speak to Andrea yet but she felt terrible on her behalf. She'd never felt the grief of losing a family member but Nate had been the closest thing to that and that had felt goddamn awful. By the look on everybody else's faces, they felt just as bad as she did. She watched on as Andrea held back her sister and apologized to her over and over.

From beside the Dodge Challenger Rick and Shane had started to take notice too and were moving toward Andrea, readying their guns in case they were to need them. Andrea slowly pulled out a pistol and held it to Amy's head. The gunshot echoed across the quarry and it was like time stood still for a moment as the members of the camp watched Amy's body collapse in her sister's arms. Tess looked away, unable to watch any longer and wandered back to the mound of bodies that had been piled up this morning. Lori stormed past her without a word and Tess watched her quizzically, not sure what had happened to make her so upset. At the pile, Daryl was glaring at the dead bodies and it didn't take a genius to see that he'd said something to piss Lori off.

"What's going on with her?" Tess asked, nodding back in the direction of the Sheriff's wife. Daryl's glare was directed at her now and Tess raised a brow at him, unsure why he was directing his ire at her.

"Hell if I know. She wants them buried." He snapped back at her, shortly.

"Ah.." Tess nodded, "I'm sure she's not offering to help either." She laughed awkwardly, trying to lighten Daryl's tense mood to no avail. Sensing she wasn't going to get a response out of him, she carried on, "We should be burning them."

"S'what I told her." He responded, quieter this time and less hostile.

His glare lessened but he still squinted at her like he was trying to decipher her intentions. Of which she had none, other than a feeble attempt to be friendly. She felt like they hadn't gotten off on the right foot from their first interaction in Atlanta and wanted to amend that. For all Daryl's roughness and crass behavior, he did strike her as a good person.

"I see… Well, you got another shovel I can use?" She inquired, not looking forward to the task at hand one bit. Daryl handed her his shovel without a word and grabbed another for himself. He was a man of few words and Tess was starting to realize that, not taking his silence personally.

The pair worked together to bury the bodies in graves Jim had dug the other day. Glenn and T-Dog were quick to help them as well. The blazing Georgia sun was blisteringly hot and didn't long for them all to work up a sweat. Tess' hands were aching from her tight grip on the shovel but she didn't let up. She felt the same familiar ache in her jaw which was clenched just as tightly and as she shoveled dirt back into one of the graves, she took a moment to stop and roll her shoulders, feeling relieved as her muscles stretched.

She took a quick look up at Glenn and T-Dog who looked exhausted and running on fumes, both having not slept last night either and had been working in the sun all day. She had to give them credit for persevering through it all. Daryl on the other hand looked unphased by the lack of sleep and was working just as hard as he had been this morning. She thought about Merle and how Daryl had just moved on from his loss because that's what the group expected from him and she wondered how he was dealing with the whole thing. Not that he'd ever tell her, she was sure. She watched as he scowled at the ground in front of him and she pondered if he ever looked anything but angry, even when he wasn't.

Daryl was angry in the moment though. Each stab of his shovel into the ground felt like a pointless endeavor to make things better again. He didn't see how this was going to bring anyone any closure and he silently berated the Sheriff's wife in his head, calling her every name under the sun. This was a waste of their time. Why were they spending so much time fussing over people that were dead, when his brother was out there and alive? Gave up looking for him real quick, he thought to himself. But he didn't complain.

He knew nobody liked his brother and he couldn't exactly blame them. Merle never got along with anybody. He thought it interesting that the only people that did care, however briefly, were those that had never met him before. He raised his head and looked over towards Tess, not expecting her to be looking over to him as well. He froze for a moment, feeling caught out and embarrassed for a second before noticing her far off expression and unfocused gaze and he frowned, realizing she was probably looking right through him. What the hell are you playing at? He scolded himself and got back to work, just imagining how Merle would have made fun of him if he'd caught him just now.

Tess hadn't noticed Daryl looking over to her and his reaction to her looking his way. She was lost in her thoughts but was drawn out of them when Glenn groaned beside her, having finally filled in his last grave. She sucked in a deep breath and quickly finished the one she had been filling in too. With the four of them burying their dead, it hadn't taken too long before all the holes were filled, with the exception of one which had been spared for Amy. As the rest of the group began to gather around the graves, Andrea finally allowed for her sister to be laid to rest and said her final goodbyes.

Tess took a step back at this point, not wanting to intrude on the group's grieving process. She didn't know these people and it didn't feel right to stand at the forefront and try to mourn those she never knew. Slinking to the back of the group, she listened somberly as people said their goodbyes. Some were crying, most didn't have the energy at this point. Daryl appeared to be in a foul mood and he disappeared into the forest. She paid him no mind, figuring everybody grieved differently and this was the way he did.

The next to leave the makeshift funeral was Carol, which came as a surprise to Tess. Tess had felt instantly protective of the older woman, knowing how to spot a battered woman when I saw one. Carol seemed like a sweet woman who wouldn't hurt a fly and to think that someone like her had to put up with an abusive husband like Ed just made her angry. As the funeral came to an end, Tess stepped away and slowly made her way towards Carol, who was busying herself with laundry.

"Hey, Carol. How are you doing?" She asked gently, unsure what her reaction would be. The older woman gazed up to her with a soft smile as she continued to sort through the clothes in front of her, having taken on the role of camp mother.

"I'm fine, really. I just feel terrible for Andrea, poor thing." The both of them looked forlornly over to the gravesite, where Andrea sat next to the freshly filled hole in the ground.

"It's awful." She agreed, not really sure what more to add. She had never been very good at consoling people in their grief and felt as though sometimes she could come across as apathetic. It wasn't from a lack of trying or willingness but she'd simply never been shown how.

"Would you like a hand with those?" Tess volunteered, wanting to do something to keep herself occupied.

"Not much left to do with these. People just need to come and get what's theirs." Carol replied offhandedly but she must've noticed Tess' disappointment and carried on, "But I did have another load of washing I was hoping to get done today if you wanted to give me a hand with that?" Perking up, Tess nodded eagerly,

"I'd be happy to." With a quick smile, Carol threw her a single towel.

"You may as well take the opportunity to have a bath yourself and wash those clothes. No offense, but you look like you could use one." Carol ribbed playfully and Tess laughed, glad she wasn't able to see just how bad she looked. As Tess went to grab her backpack that she'd left at the campfire last night, Carol went over to Sophia to tell her she'd be down at the lake and to stay where Lori could see her. The pair then headed down together.

—

It was pleasant sitting by the lake. Peaceful nearly, if there wasn't the constant need to always be on the lookout for unwanted company. The warm afternoon sun reflecting off the lake and the light breeze made Tess think back to summers as a kid when she'd bunk off school and hide away. She took any opportunity to skive off and thinking back now, she thought it funny how inconsequential it all was. Tess had hated school as a child, more so high school when teenagers became cruel and stupid. She had tried her best not to be noticed, preferring to fly under the radar but bullies were bullies and teenage bullies could be relentless. She briefly wondered where they were now but decided she didn't care.

Carol had placed the basket of dirty clothes between them on the shore of the lake and had quietly begun washing garments from the top of the pile. Tess followed suit and the pair worked together in a comfortable silence. Tess was surprised at how well Carol appeared to be coping right now. Ed must've been a nasty piece of shit if his own wife was unbothered by his death. She seemed relieved almost and if he had been as bad as Tess was guessing, she couldn't blame her. She figured Ed hadn't allowed Carol to have many friends either, judging by the way she kept to herself and Tess was determined to change that.

"So, Carol, whereabouts are you from?" Tess asked and watched as the older woman smiled.

"I grew up in Georgia but when I married Ed, we moved to Atlanta. What about you?"

"I'm originally from Jacksonville, North Carolina but I was living in Durham before this."

"Really? You don't have much of an accent?" Carol looked at her in surprise and Tess laughed.

"I guess not."

"Do you have a brother? Or a sister?"

"Not really." Tess shrugged flippantly and Carol looked confused. "Sorry, that doesn't really make much sense, does it? I grew up in a children's home, so I guess you could say I had lots of siblings but none of them were actually related to me."

"Oh… I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"No need to be sorry, it is what it is. It wasn't great, I'm not gonna lie but I definitely made it more difficult for myself than it needed to be." She chuckled, thinking back to how much of a pain in the ass she had been as a young kid. Growing up an orphan was a sensitive topic for her for sure but she refused to let it bother her.

"Is that why you joined the army?" Carol queried.

"Yeah, I guess so. I needed structure in my life and that was the only way I could find it. I also hardly ever went to school, so college was out of the question."

"Well, fat lot of good a college degree would do you now." The women laughed and Tess agreed. Carol enjoyed having someone to talk to that didn't just see her as a den mother or talked to her like they were walking on eggshells. She felt that Tess actually saw her as an individual and for who she was. Not who Ed made her become. "I'm real' glad you're here with us, Tess." Carol told her honestly and Tess felt warmed by the comment.

"Me too."

As the pair fell back into a comfortable silence, they finished up washing the remaining clothes in the hamper. It hadn't taken too long and while Tess normally didn't enjoy the domestic duties of life, she did enjoy being in Carol's company. It was friendly and motherly and she knew she would become very fond of this woman.

"I'm gonna stay and wash up." Tess told Carol as she grabbed her backpack and the towel she'd been given. Carol collected the wash laundry and got to her feet,

"Are you going to be okay on your own?"

"Yeah I'll be good. I won't be long."

"Alright, I'll see you back at camp." They shared a smile and Carol left, leaving Tess to her own devices.

As Tess waited patiently for Carol to leave, she slowly peeled off her boots, enjoying being able to stretch her feet. She loved the feeling of her bare feet on the ground, it was reassuring and helped to keep her grounded in times of panic. Dipping her feet in the water, she sighed, pulled her knees up to her chest and dropped her head to her knees. Working to untie her knotted hair, she tiredly tugged at the elastic, pulling it free and sending her hair sprawling. She looked forward to getting clean and putting on some fresh clothes. Without any further ado, she stripped down to her underclothes, leaving her dog tag on, and plunged herself under the surface of the water. She never took her dog tag off while on active duty, even while showering and wasn't about to change that now.

Tess swam out towards the deeper center of the lake and let herself sink for a moment. The weightlessness of being under water was a relief to all of her tense muscles. She subconsciously always held so much tension in her shoulders and jaw and the feeling of relaxing felt unusual but she knew it was well overdue. Coming up for air, Tess tread water for a bit and then paddled closer to shore to where she could stand. She started working through the knots in her hair and washing out bits of God knows what. Once untangled, she proceeded to clean the rest of herself, wishing she had some soap to get completely clean. When she was satisfied, she began trying to scrub her uniform clean. Dried blood, dirt and sweat created a nasty mix of stains that were proving difficult to get out but she did her best.

When Tess was finally happy with her cleanliness and that of her clothes, she walked out of the lake, quickly grabbing the towel that had been given to her and wrapping it around herself. She crouched down to her bag and began pulling out the dark pair of jeans and one of the tank tops and some fresh underwear. As she went to stand, she could have sworn she heard a rustling sound from the tree line and she paused, eyes fixed to where she thought the noise had come from. Hesitantly moving her hand toward her knife that lay in its sheath, she waited patiently in anticipation. The late afternoon sun was just around eye level, making it difficult to see and she squinted, failing to make out any shapes. As another rustle emanated from the trees, Tess whipped out the knife and held it at the ready, holding her breath.

A fat white rabbit hopped out from a bush and Tess nearly laughed, feeling stupid and embarrassed for having been so on edge. She watched as the rabbit traipsed around the edge of the forest, unaware of her presence and she looked at it despondently. Oh, to be a rabbit and have no responsibilities. As she thought of the responsibilities she had, she thought of the people at camp and how they'd need to eat… Sorry Mr Rabbit. Flipping her knife to hold the blade, she reeled back slowly so as not to spook it and with a deft flick of her wrist, sent the knife sailing through the air and into the body of the rabbit. It wasn't much but it would feed the kids at least.

Awkwardly shuffling in her towel in an attempt to redress, she removed her gun holster and knife sheath from her uniform pants and wrapped them around her denim clad legs. Once fully dressed, she gave her original pair of underwear a quick wash and gathered up all her laundry, collecting her knife and the rabbit as well.

—

When Tess made it back to the camp, she saw where Carol had hung the laundry and added hers to the line, hoping to catch the rest of the afternoon sun. Most people appeared to be in their individual tents with their families or on their own and Tess took a seat by the fire pit. She took her time to skin the rabbit she had killed, making sure to not waste any of the meat. She had been hunting a couple of times with Nate but wasn't an expert at skinning, generally being too heavy handed. So she made sure to take extra care with the rabbit, knowing there was very little meat on it as it was. As she got round to gutting the animal, she heard the crunch of tell-tale footsteps coming towards her.

"Hey! I was wondering where you'd gotten to!" Glenn greeted her, taking a seat across from her.

"I was helping Carol with the laundry. Figured I'd give myself a wash too." Glenn gave her a broad smile,

"You were looking kinda scary." Tess laughed, not doubting that one bit.

"Thanks, Glenn, real charmer." He held his hands up in mock defense and chuckled.

"Did you go hunting as well?" He inquired, nodding at the animal in her hands.

"No, not really. This poor guy was just unlucky. Hopped right into my path." As she ripped out the innards, she noticed Glenn grimace in disgust and she gave him a toothy grin. "What? You got a thing about blood?" He shook his head shakily,

"Blood I can do. Guts on the other hand… I'll pass." His nose was scrunched tightly and Tess couldn't help but continue to smile at him, finding his childlike innocence endearing.

More crunching of feet on stone and dirt, lighter this time, sounded from behind her and she looked over her shoulder to see who it was. Daryl had a string of squirrels slung over his shoulder and was walking towards her and Glenn absent mindedly, like he was stuck in his thoughts.

"Hey-" She called out to him, a smile still on her face. It quickly dropped though when he heard her and promptly veered away from them. "Okay…" She turned her eyes back to Glenn who looked only mildly surprised, "What's his problem?"

"No idea." He shrugged, "He's kinda always been like that though." Tess guessed that he was probably right but she still felt it to be strange. He'd spoken to her each time she'd approached him in the past; even if it was only with a few words. She wasn't about to question him about it though, knowing she'd have about as much luck with that as she had with ever winning the lottery.

Thankfully she wasn't able to ponder over it for much longer as Rick and Shane made their presence known to the group, announcing that they had decided to make way for the CDC tomorrow morning and those that wanted to go with were welcome to, otherwise this would be where they would be going their separate ways. Shane still looked reluctant and Tess wondered what Rick had said or done to convince him that Fort Benning was a lost cause, when he had been so adamant. Regardless, she was thankful that they would be following Rick's lead, as he seemed to have a more level-head on his shoulders.

As the afternoon wore on and the day turned to night, more and more people gathered around the now burning fire. Dale had come to sit beside her and properly introduce himself. He seemed like a kind man and Tess was all too happy to chat with him. However, she didn't miss the wary glances he kept throwing Shane's way and she tried to decipher the meaning behind. Sparing a glance at the burly man on the other side of the fire, she caught his eye and he sent her a dazzling smile which caught her off guard and she sent him a withering one back, a little unsettled by the encounter. She didn't look over to him again for the rest of the night and instead focused on the food Carol had doled out.

Most people were still pretty quiet, the somber mood from earlier still heavy in the air. Andrea never came over for dinner and instead spent the evening curled up on the sofa in the RV. Not that anyone could blame her. Tess thought she'd probably be wanting to do the same after Nate died if she weren't so good at compartmentalizing. Every time she thought about him her chest constricted and her throat tightened but she was used to pushing down her feelings and keeping a cool disposition.

It was getting late now and the Morales family had already gone off to their tent for the night. Dale and Jacqui had moved into the RV now as well and Lori had ushered Carl off to bed too. T-Dog and Glenn left soon after, leaving Rick, Shane, Carol and her daughter and Tess. Daryl had never shown up to join the rest of the group for dinner and Tess seemed to be the only one to think that was odd. Sophia tugged on her mothers sleeve and Carol leant down to hear what Sophia was whispering to her. A gentle smile came to her face and she stood up with her daughter, ushering her to go ask Tess what she'd just asked her.

"You're welcome to sleep in our tent with us if you would like?" The young girl asked shyly and Tess looked up at her with a grateful smile,

"Thank you, Sophia, that's very nice of you to offer. I do snore though and I'd hate to keep you up." Sophia giggled at Tess' exaggerated expression and Carol chimed in,

"We do have the space if you want to. It's the least we could do." As nice as the gesture was, Tess was reluctant to accept it, as someone who cherished their privacy and didn't want to encroach on anyone else's.

"Thanks, Carol. I appreciate it, truly." She smiled at her and Carol, who picked up on her hesitancy, gave her a soft smile back before leading her daughter away to bed.

Under the moonlight, the only sound was that of the fire crackling and crickets chirping. It was a pleasantly warm evening and Tess expected that she could quite happily fall asleep here. Rick was next to leave, much to her disappointment, and said a quick goodnight to her and Shane before leaving to join his family. With only the two of them by the fire now, Tess felt a little bit tense, wishing he'd just head off to bed like everyone else. Shane on the other hand seemed to have other ideas.

"So, Tess."

"Shane."

"Is that your full name? Tess?" He asked her innocently and she quirked a brow.

"No, it's Theresa. But no one ever calls me that." She replied, unsure where this was heading.

"Not unless you're in trouble?" He smirked back at her cheekily, insinuating more than the generally innocent meaning.

"Something like that." Tess answered him with a deadpan expression. Tess had met plenty of men like Shane before. Arrogant, lewd and believing themselves to be God's gift to women-kind. It irked her that she'd become his newest endeavor.

"I got a nice big tent just down there. It sounds like you need a place to stay. I've got plenty of room." Her lip curled in revulsion at his suggestion, I'd rather sleep in a ditch.

"I'm good, thanks." She retorted, not hiding her disinterest. Shane seemed unphased and shrugged as got to his feet.

"Up to you, sweetheart. Come find me if you get cold." The entire interaction had her stumped and the addition of sweetheart left her disgusted. She had to shake herself out of the stupor and even then she was at a loss for words. Shane snickered to himself as he walked away and went to bed, salacious thoughts on his mind.

What the hell just happened?