Chapter 19 - Something In The Way

Greene Farm

It was safe to say that that had been the last thing on Tess' mind when she asked Maggie the question about the pharmacy. She couldn't decide if she was angry, afraid or happy for her. She briefly thought about how she wished it had been a stomach bug instead, preferring to deal with a bad case of diarrhea than a crying, screaming baby, but then realized that was a terrible thing to think and tried to remain positive. It was difficult though. This really changed things. They would need to find somewhere to settle and with Hershel on the verge of kicking them out and winter approaching, they needed a permanent place soon.

She wondered if Rick knew or if Lori, as Maggie suspected, was planning on getting rid of it without her husband ever knowing. She also wondered if the baby was even Ricks. It was obvious that Lori had been sleeping with Shane and by her calculations, it didn't seem awfully unlikely that the baby could be a Walsh. Which made things even worse and she hoped to high heaven that Shane didn't know. God knows how he'd react.

Maggie had to leave to feed the animals and Tess stayed for a while longer on the porch swing, full of thoughts and unable to process them all fast enough. Dusk was falling and the cool autumn breeze felt nice so she made no effort to move but the creaking of the front door opening drew her attention. Out walked Hershel and Tess made a move to stand up.

"No need to get up. But I'll join you if that's alright?" He ushered her back down and so she remained seated. "It's lovely this time of year, isn't it?"

"It is. You've really got something special here. It reminds me of a much simpler time in my life… that was so long ago now." Hershel looked over at her curiously but her comment seemed more like an accidentally vocalized thought and so he didn't touch on the subject.

"We are certainly blessed." He agreed and they both looked out over the farm, appreciating the calm evening.

The leaves were starting to change color and it seemed to be getting darker earlier and earlier every day. It was so serene here and it was such a shame that they would have to say goodbye to it all soon.

"Thank you for everything, Hershel. I know we have been… demanding guests but your generosity has not gone unappreciated." The old man was quiet for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face.

"I have been thinking to myself a lot lately, wondering what life would have been like had our paths not crossed. Perhaps Otis would still be with us. Perhaps not."

"Would it be better or worse." Tess added, knowing full well what he meant. Perhaps Carl would never have been shot or Daryl injured. Perhaps they would have found Sophia by now without all the added distractions.

"That is yet to be determined." He stated and as she nodded, he looked down at her tired, slouched frame. Dark crescents lined the underneath of both her eyes and despite her eyes appearing as alert as ever, he could tell she was tired.

"When was the last time you slept?" He asked her suddenly and Tess looked up at him with a raised brow.

"Like through the whole night?" She asked and while that wasn't exactly what he had meant, Hershel acquiesced and nodded. "Probably some time in 2008. But I've managed thus far." Tess shrugged and Hershel frowned out of concern.

He had never been able to pass his medical and always failed to enlist for the Vietnam war. Something that, at the time, had made him feel ashamed and inadequate. However, when he saw the men that came back, he felt incredibly grateful to not have endured what they did. He recognized the look on her face that night when they operated on Carl. The horror and fear and the shaky hands that she had been unable to control.

Hershel was impressed by her ability to keep it so well under control, having known men to crumble under less stressful and definitely less reminiscently gory situations. He saw the way she looked at the medication she withdrew from the pill bag and recognized a lot of himself in that moment.

"Taking something to help you sleep does not make you weak."

"I know that. I'm not worried about being weak. I am weak. That's why I choose not to." She admitted, knowing full well that Hershel was aware of her problem. "If I start again… I'm worried I won't stop."

"I used to have a drinking problem. It tore my family apart. But I put my faith in the Lord and he set me on the right path." He told her assuredly but it felt false on his tongue. While she was surprised by the vulnerable truth he'd just admitted to her, Tess sighed. She had never been sold on the idea of religion as the solution to all her problems.

"I mean no disrespect, Hershel, but I've killed people. I've seen people kill people. Kids. There's no repenting. I don't see a God. Certainly not a kind one. You can't have a God that's both omnipotent and benevolent because that would just mean it doesn't care. So either your Lord isn't all-powerful or is just plain cruel. Either way, I'm not putting my faith in that." She felt no need to beat around the bush about it, expressing her distaste for a higher power.

"I understand. It's hard to know why things happen, why God chooses to allow the world's atrocities. But it all has a reason."

"Maybe. Or maybe we're just suffering the consequences of our actions." She shrugged, unable to not acknowledge cause and effect. Hershel looked at her strangely.

"What?"

"It's funny, my first wife, Josephine. She was as devout as anything. She was the one that convinced me to give up the drink and seek God. But you remind me of her a lot. Stubborn as anything and not afraid to speak her mind. Put me in my place many a time." He smiled fondly, a far off look in his eye.

"Sounds like a good woman." Tess commented, any annoyance forgotten.

"She was."

—

Lori and Rick didn't join the group for dinner that night. Shane and Andrea were noticeably absent as well. Glenn and Dale spoke quietly amongst themselves, off to the side, which piqued Tess' interest but she didn't eavesdrop. Instead, she sat with Carol, T-Dog and Carl and chatted joyously about Carl's new 'battle scar'.

"It matches my dads!" The young boy chirped excitedly and the three adults laughed.

"Good thing you're brave like your old man, too." T-Dog told him with a pat on the shoulder. Carl beamed with pride and boasted a big toothy grin. He then turned to Tess, unassumingly.

"Have you ever been shot?" His wide innocent eyes expressed genuine interest. Carol looked nervously between the young boy and the woman in question, who just smiled.

"I've been shot at plenty of times but somehow, no." She told him, feigning disappointment.

"Oh. You don't get to join our club then, sorry." Carl replied with a shrug and they all laughed.

"There's a club now?" Tess chuckled and Carl nodded profusely.

"Badasses only." He stated confidently and Tess and T-Dog snorted. Carol gasped.

"Carl! Don't say ass!" She scolded him with a whisper.

The young boy was unperturbed by his telling off and they continued eating their dinner with light conversation. Daryl never joined them all for dinner and Tess thought to herself whether he even bothered to eat if someone didn't intentionally include him. She wondered if he still didn't feel welcome. She hoped that wasn't the case. He was as much a part of this group as anyone else. Perhaps even more so than some.

"Hey, Tess…" Carl whined shyly and she looked down at him curiously.

"What's up, buddy?" She asked him, concerned he was upset about something.

"Do you still have some chocolate…?" His big sad eyes looked up at her and she bit back a laugh.

"Oooh… I dunno. I might have eaten it all." She teased lightly.

"Pleaaase…" He begged and she breathed a laugh.

"Well, let's go see, shall we?" Tess caved instantly and Carl hopped up to his feet excitedly, already moving away from the campfire. Tess rose as well and placed their dirty dishes in the wash bucket.

"Do you need a hand to clean up?" She asked Carol before stepping away.

"No, don't worry about it. I'm sure T-Dog here would be willing to lend me a hand, wouldn't you T?" The older woman said and T-Dog, while looking disappointed, agreed.

"Thank you for dinner." Tess said appreciatively, which was quickly echoed by Carl and she followed after him.

"You're walking too slow!" He called to her as he raced ahead.

"You're walking too fast!" She shouted back, speeding her pace up only slightly. Carl reached her tent before her but he waited patiently outside it, buzzing and unable to stand still.

"Alright, I'll go investigate for chocolate. Stand guard?" She asked him and he saluted her. She ducked down inside her tent and rummaged through her belongings for the last few chocolate bars she had hidden away.

She could hear Carl talking to a faint voice outside the tent and she smiled to herself when she heard him say 'top secret, no entry' and then 'bad-ass club members only'; reneging on his earlier statement that she wasn't included.

Tess dipped back out of her tent, a 3 Musketeers bar in hand, and was surprised to see Carl squaring off with Daryl. She could feel her heart begin to thud nervously in her chest.

"Here you go, Carl." She offered him the candy bar and he took it from her gratefully with a loud 'thanks', tearing into it as he hurried off again.

"Bad-ass club?" Daryl asked hesitantly and Tess shrugged as casually as she could.

"Honorary members only, sorry." They were both quiet for a moment, neither of them able to think of anything to say but expecting the other to say something.

"What do you want?" She finally asked him and he seemed to refocus. He raised his hand and offered her an arrow that belonged in her quiver.

"You left this." He said gruffly like it annoyed him and began to walk away.

"Daryl!" She called out to him, causing him to stop. "Thank you." He didn't respond. "Everything okay? You didn't join us for dinner."

"Not hungry." He lied.

"Sure." Tess rolled her eyes, unconvinced. "Come, there's probably still food left." She told him and began to walk back to the campfire. When he didn't make a move, she stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Come on." She encouraged, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach that maybe she'd actually really pissed him off earlier today. He finally began to follow her.

There was in fact still food left and Carol happily dished Daryl up some food (a little extra than normal). He sat quietly in one of the camping chairs, eating, watching the flames of the fire. Tess sat back down in one of the canvas chairs to his left, twirling the arrow in her hands absentmindedly. Daryl found himself glancing over to her occasionally, subtly, as though he were simply scanning the area around him but he didn't care to look at anyone else. Not that there were very many people left sitting around. She looked deep in thought and he quickly diverted his eyes when she suddenly looked up.

Tess wasn't looking at him though. Shane was walking towards the camp, finally having decided to arrive for dinner and he had a smarmy look on his face.

"Evenin' all." He announced, helping himself to the food Carol had made. He only got a few responses but didn't seem to care. Tess scowled at him as he plunked himself down on the other side of the fire, facing her. He looked at her intently, smirking and her grip tightened on the shaft of the arrow, angered by his arrogance. The non-verbal interaction didn't go amiss with Daryl and he frowned, trying to figure out what was going unsaid.

"That was some pretty impressive shooting today." Shane remarked, breaking the silence. Tess eyed him skeptically, paying no heed to his compliment.

"It was my job." She rebuffed him, trying to end the conversation there.

"I knew your rank wasn't just because of someone's inclination for a pretty face." To an outsider, Shane's comment could have appeared as over-eager flirting but Tess felt anything but flattered. She felt very uncomfortable and she got up from her seat, leaving without a word.

She didn't want to admit it but his brazenness had her a little spooked. She wasn't a stranger to being leered at or being the target of unwanted advances, it was a thing she believed all women had the displeasure of dealing with but Shane's behavior well and truly unsettled her. Especially after the previous day. Tess didn't really know where to go, she felt like she needed to be somewhere, anywhere where he wouldn't think to find her if he so chose to and ended up heading in the direction of the old barn.

Hershel had warned them it was off limits due to not being structurally sound but she had no intention of going inside. The red paint of the old barn was chipped and weathered and Tess could believe the building was on its last legs. It looked like it wouldn't withstand a strong breeze. She wondered why the Greene's never bothered to tear it down but decided she didn't care, it was their property to do with as they pleased. She stood in front of the barn, rubbing at her temples and subconsciously grinding her teeth.

"You wanna tell me what that was all about?" Daryl asked from behind her and she jumped, spinning around to face him.

"What, what was about."

"Seriously?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Daryl." She shrugged, hoping he'd leave it be but that just seemed to irk him more. Daryl scoffed derisively.

"You're the one pissed at me for blocking you out and now you're doin' the same. That's rich." He growled at her and she sighed, knowing he was right. Nonetheless, she protested,

"This is different."

"Yeah, okay." He rolled his eyes, unconvinced.

"You stonewall me because you still don't trust me. I'm keeping this to myself because you don't need to worry about it."

"You makin' my decisions for me now too?"

"Jesus, Daryl! I'm not." Tess huffed, exasperated and fighting a losing battle.

"Did he do that to your face?" He suddenly asked and Tess subconsciously raised a tentative hand to her neck and cheek where Shane had grabbed her, unaware that any mark had been left. It was all the confirmation Daryl needed and spun on his heel with plans to head back to camp.

"Don't, Daryl." Tess jumped forward and grabbed his upper arm in an effort to stop him.

"You're just gonna let him get away with that shit?" He spat, astonished by her willingness to let it slide.

"Like I told Shane, if it were up to me, I'd have shoved an arrow in his fucking neck but he's Ricks friend and-" And potentially the father of Lori's unborn child. "And he's important to Carl."

"Who gives a shit?" Daryl exclaimed loudly, visibly angry now.

"They would, Daryl, that's exactly my point!" She shouted back, her hand still gripping tightly to his arm.

A loud thump on the walls of the barn made them both jump a little and, unconsciously, Tess' hand dropped to hold Daryl's lower arm. A series of sporadic thumps and bangs continued to echo from the dilapidated building, along with a faint groaning sound. The chain holding the barn doors closed rattled then stopped when the banging finally ended.

Tess and Daryl looked at one another with uncertainty, both dreading the likelihood of what was beyond those four walls. Daryl's eyes slowly dropped down to his arm where Tess held him still. Remembering what she was doing, she pulled her hand away quickly as though she had been burned, a deep blush reddening her neck and cheeks. He didn't say a word but he moved away from her and towards the barn.

Peeking through the cracks in the wood, Daryl peered into the barn, hoping to get a glimpse of what was on the other side of the door. It was difficult to see with little to no light and he gently knocked on the wooden slats. Suddenly, a rotting, pallid face appeared in front of the crack and he jumped back as the walker inside began hitting the barn door again, hungry, starving and desperate to reach him.

Fuck… He thought to himself. He tried to make sense of why there were walkers in the barn but he couldn't get past the fact that they were living only a few yards away from them and their host never thought to let them know. Anger began to boil within him.

"Walkers." He hissed, one clear thought in mind. The others needed to know. And they needed to get rid of them. Tonight.

Tess tried to be rational about their new predicament. They'd been here, how long she couldn't remember, but the barn had been off limits to them the entire time, so that could only mean that they had been living alongside these walkers for the entirety of their stay. She didn't know why the Greene's had kept walkers locked up in the barn but she had to believe that there was a reason why. And before they could go do anything brash, they needed to hear Hershel out first. But Daryl was on the warpath to the Greene's house to confront Hershel himself, which no doubt would end terribly.

Tess raced to catch up with him, following him into the house as he slammed the front door open. Maggie was the only one standing in the kitchen and she looked over at them both wide-eyed and surprised.

"Hi?" She said hesitantly, unsure what was going on.

"Hershel. Where is he?" Daryl all but barked her and she looked over at Tess nervously.

"Excuse us." Tess told Maggie apologetically and she shoved Daryl back out the front door. He tried to brush her off but stumbled out the door, surprised by her strength.

"Let me talk to Hershel. You're not doing this tonight." She did her best to remain calm and quell Daryl's fury. But it proved unsuccessful.

"You can't be serious?!"

"We don't know why they're in there. We don't know who they are."

"They're walkers, end of story."

"You know Hershel doesn't see it like that. They've been here this entire time. I'm only asking you for one night. Please." Tess begged him, hoping he'd allow her at least that. He was still furious but he at least mulled it over.

"One night." He bit out, "Tomorrow morning, I'm telling everybody. And we're getting rid of them." He told her unhappily, equal parts annoyed at their new discovery and his ability to be so easily persuaded by her. He stormed off before she could thank him and Tess anxiously watched him leave, knowing she was asking a lot of him.

Venturing back inside, she approached Maggie who still looked a bit frazzled.

"Sorry about that." She apologized, hoping they hadn't given her too much of a scare.

"Caught me a bit off guard is all." Maggie shrugged as she put dishes away.

"Listen, I do really need to speak with your dad. Do you think I could talk to him?" The Greene sister looked at her quizzically but didn't question why, sensing that Tess wouldn't tell her anyway.

"He went to his room a little while ago but he's probably still awake. Upstairs, the second door on the right."

—

With a heavy hand, Tess rapped on the door to Hershel's bedroom, hoping she wasn't waking him. She waited patiently for him to come to the door and stopped short of knocking again when the door handle started to turn. She stepped back to give him some space.

"Tess? What can I do for you? It's late." Hershel frowned at her tiredly.

"I know, sorry to disturb you but it's important. Is there somewhere we can talk?"

"Come in." He stepped aside and ushered her in. "Take a seat." Tess sat down on the edge of the chair he gestured to but then stood up again, feeling far too nervous to sit still.

"Thanks, I think I'll just stand for now."

"You look troubled? What is it?" He asked her gently, his soft, aged eyes penetrating hers. She cut straight to the chase.

"The walkers in the barn. Who are they?" She queried and Hershel's face fell. "You must be keeping them in there for a reason, so why?"

"I told you all that the barn was off limits." He grumbled, upset that yet again these guests of his continued to test him.

"Yeah, because it was structurally unsafe. Not because it was walker central." Tess snapped back at him. "I am not the only one that knows. They have agreed to give me the night to talk with you. So, you need to give me a good reason as to why you're keeping those things locked up or come morning, I can't promise you that matters won't get out of hand." She warned him, hoping he would see reason but Hershel refused to listen.

"I do not need to explain myself to any of you. What happens under my roof, on my land, is my business."

"Hershel, it's not safe, those things-" She began to protest but he was quick to cut her off.

"Those things are people! Sick people! My family. You do not have a say." He vehemently argued and she felt like Sisyphus rolling the giant rock up the hill.

"I'd appreciate it if you left." He told her abruptly and Tess was at a loss, unable to argue with him further and convince him that she was only trying to help.

"Goodnight." He said sharply, with finality, and turned away from her. Tess left the house without another word to anyone.

—

She went back to the barn to keep an eye on things, just for her own piece of mind at least, and was surprised to see Daryl also sitting in the grass, watching the building. She quietly sat down next to him and watched the way one of the roof panels flapped in the wind.

"Get what you wanted?" Daryl asked gruffly, although it didn't sound much like a question he expected an answer to.

"Hershel doesn't care." She admitted sadly. "It's his family in there. If we kill them… we're gone."

"Old man's out of his mind."

"Maybe. But if it were Merle, wouldn't you want it to be on your terms?" She suggested, hoping that would make him understand but Daryl just scoffed and glared at her.

"Merle's an idiot but he'd sooner kill himself than become one of those meat-heads." Tess sighed,

"Okay fine… What if it were me?" She asked hesitantly, hoping he wouldn't laugh in her face. Instead, he looked down at her intensely for a moment and then turned away, not replying to her question.

She wondered if maybe he refused to answer her so as not to embarrass her, having overestimated her worth. She looked away from him, embarrassed and wished she could take it back.

"You ain't endin' up like that." He told her quietly, his stern gaze was still firmly locked on the barn. Tess recalled the horrible truth that Doctor Jenner had shared with her back at the CDC and she glanced over at Daryl sadly. Honestly, she had forgotten all about it. Forgot about what was waiting for all of them in the end.

"I hope not." She replied somberly.

"You'll probably live to be a hundred. Outlive all of us." Daryl said in a surprisingly light tone and Tess laughed.

"Funny. I always thought I'd be dead before my thirties. Still a few months to go though I suppose." She chuckled dryly and the pair of them sat in silence for a while.

It was the only evening where Tess longed for the night to drag on forever. She dreaded what tomorrow would bring. Daryl might be calm about it now but she knew that tomorrow there'd be no stopping him from telling everyone else about the walkers in the barn.

Whatever plan they had for convincing Hershel to let them stay wouldn't be able to withstand this. She hoped that Rick would be able to convince everyone to let the matter lie but deep down she knew that was wishful thinking. Tomorrow, things would change.