Chapter 20 - Pretty Much Dead Already

Greene Farm

Tess woke to an itchy feeling on her face and blinked open her eyes, seeing grass and dirt. Had she really fallen asleep? She pushed herself up into a seated position and looked over at Daryl who didn't appear to have moved at all.

"I fell asleep?" She asked, even though she quite obviously had. Daryl shrugged and watched the sun come up over the top of the barn. She'd fallen asleep surprisingly quickly and much to his shock had rested her head on his shoulder. He had nearly jerked away on instinct but her shallow breathing indicated to him that she was asleep and he dared not move a muscle. In the darkness, he'd looked down at her, curled up on herself and thought about how he'd felt when she'd grabbed his arm just a few feet from here.

Normally, he didn't appreciate, nor was he used to, such direct physical contact but he hadn't felt the need to lash out or scare her away. Instead, he didn't really seem to notice, like it was normal. Until her hand moved further down towards his, and the warmth from her hand felt like it was creeping across his chest and up his neck to his face. This foreign feeling certainly hadn't gone unnoticed and he wasn't entirely sure if he disliked it or not.

Then, he found himself looking at the side of her face where the dull bruise left by Shane marred her skin. He still didn't know what had gone down between the two of them and she seemed intent on keeping it from him despite the fact that, now, whatever it was, it didn't matter. He knew it was bad enough for her to threaten to kill the man and that was all the information he needed.

When her head had started to slip off his shoulder, he did his best to slowly lower her to the ground, hoping like hell she wouldn't wake up.

Deep in thought, Daryl hadn't noticed that Tess had gotten to her feet now. She looked over at the camp, watching people leave their tents for breakfast and quietly sighed to herself, knowing what was to come.

"No point delaying this any longer I guess…" She murmured sullenly, not looking forward to it. "Time to go." With an outstretched hand, she offered to help Daryl to his feet.

He peered up at her with a strange look on his face, as though she'd grown an extra head and she frowned. But before she could ask him about it, he locked his hand just above hers and she pulled him up. Without another word to one another, they walked back to camp.

—

"Um, guys… So... The barn is full of walkers."

Much to both Tess' and Daryl's surprise, Glenn was the one to break the news to the rest of the group.

"You knew?" Tess questioned him, stunned.

"You knew?" He responded in turn.

"Found out last night." Daryl butted in gruffly.

"And you didn't think to tell any of us?" Shane admonished the three of them, irately. As soon as the words of confession left Glenn's mouth, Shane had become antsy and angry. His chest was puffed and he was stalking around the three of them like he was assessing the weakest prey.

"Cool your jets, jackass." Tess growled at him Shane's focus zeroed in on her.

He took a few steps towards her and she glared at him intently, egging him on and hoping he'd dare try something with everybody present. He never got much closer though, as Daryl stepped in front of her and Shane came to a halt, both shocked and disgusted by his protectiveness. The ex-cop scoffed and backed away.

Tess looked at the back of Daryl's head in surprise. She hadn't anticipated that he would intervene and certainly hadn't expected him too. He stepped off to the side again without looking at her.

"Everybody, calm down. The walkers in the barn are no threat to us. They're locked away." Rick said slowly in an effort to appease everyone but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.

"You cannot tell me you're alright with this?" Shane challenged him and Rick raised his hands in defense.

"No, I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land."

"God! This is our lives, man!"

"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Agreed Andrea.

"It ain't right. Not remotely." Shane continued to badger his friend about it. "We've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right, or we've just got to go. Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time." Tess rolled her eyes, she didn't know how many times she had to repeat herself.

"There's nothing at Fort Benning. It's gone." Tess stressed to him, feeling like a broken record.

"You don't know that for certain." He countered and Rick shook his head in disagreement.

"We can't go."

"Why, Rick? Why?"

"Because my daughter is still out there." Carol said painfully. Even though she was struggling to maintain the hope of ever seeing her daughter again, the thought of leaving without knowing ate her up inside.

"Okay. Okay, I think it's time that we start to just consider the other possibility." Shane griped in annoyance.

"Shane, we're not leaving Sophia behind." Lori chastised him.

"I'm close to finding this girl. I just found her damn doll two days ago!" Daryl shouted, fed up with everybody's lack of faith.

"You found her doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll." Criticized Shane, condescendingly.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"I'm just saying what needs to be said. You get a good lead, it's in the first forty-eight hours." Shane shrugged carelessly.

"Shane, stop." Warned Rick, concerned with how worked up the two men were getting.

"Let me tell you something else, man." Sneered Shane as he stalked back toward Daryl. "If she was alive out there and saw you coming, all methed out with your buck knife, and geek ears around your neck, she would'a run in the other direction."

Daryl leapt at him, shouting furiously, his words unclear but distinctly harsh and Shane welcomed the oncoming barrage, ready for a fight. Tess thought about stepping in, like Daryl had done for her before but she would sooner jump in and help him lay into Shane if she were being honest. However, both Rick and T-Dog stepped in before any fists could be thrown and Daryl seethed.

"Keep your hands off me!" He snarled at them and shoved them off. Rick huffed in frustration and stood between his friends, hands outstretched to keep distance between them.

"This is getting us nowhere, stop it. Now just let me talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out."

"Rick, I spoke to him last night. Hershel doesn't care what we want." Tess told him emphatically. "It's his family."

"I know that." He admitted and nodded sadly.

"You knew?" Lori gasped, stunned just as many of them were. Rick looked down shamefully, unable to face his disappointed wife.

"The man is crazy, Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive or not."

"Regardless of what Hershel thinks of them, at the end of the day it's his decision. You don't like it… you know where the road is." Tess told them all, putting an end to the discussion, earning her a couple gasps and gulps from other members of the group.

"Rick, a word." She asked him, although her tone didn't leave him with much choice and the pair of them stepped away as the rest of the group disbanded.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Rick sighed. Problems continued to crop up one after the other and he was struggling to keep on top of it all.

"Talk to Hershel, you may have better luck than I did. But you need to prepare yourself for the reality that we may need to move on."

"Tess… Lori- Lori is…" Rick stammered worriedly, the pressure all too much.

"I know." She placed a supportive hand on his shoulder and looked at him with understanding.

"We need a home. Somewhere safe."

"And we'll have that. But it might not be here. Hershel never wanted us to stay anyway, you know that. And it'll be winter soon, so I hope you're a damn good negotiator otherwise we need to leave soon to find someplace else."

"What if there isn't anywhere else?"

"There will be. There has to be."

—

Tension ran high across the farm. Everyone was on edge and nobody could decide what to do. It was a conundrum that left them in a very difficult position. Stay and hope Hershel would let them deal with the walkers in the barn (not a very likely scenario), or leave and hope they would be able to find refuge elsewhere. Both options left much of the end result up to fate, something that hadn't been too kind to them lately.

Before leaving to talk to Hershel, Rick told Tess that he planned on doing another search for Sophia today and she made way for the RV where the guns were stored. She didn't feel nearly proficient enough to go out there with just her bow and knife just yet and felt paranoid enough to want to carry while she was out there.

She walked up to the RV and to the door, about to reach for the handle when it swung open and she came face to face with Andrea. The blonde woman looked stunned and a touch frightful. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out and Tess was left staring at her as she gaped like a fish. Slowly, without a word, Tess stepped aside and Andrea fled the RV.

"Hey, Dale. Glenn." She nodded at them both and they smiled and echoed her greeting.

"Thanks again for the hat, Dale. I'll return it once mine's not so… eggy." Glenn said awkwardly and Tess snorted.

"You got egged?"

"Maggie egged me. I don't understand women." He moaned glumly.

"Hey, don't look at me. I've never egged anybody." She chuckled and watched Glenn leave the RV.

She turned back to Dale, expecting him to have his usual, genial poker face on but instead he was busy trying to pull the bag of guns down from one of the top cupboards.

"What are you doing, Dale?" She asked him hesitantly, wondering what he was planning. He looked distressed but focussed and he huffed as the weight of the bag fell into his arms.

"You saw how it was out there. People want to take matters into their own hands and Shane's trigger happy enough to lead the way."

"So what exactly do you plan to do?"

"The sooner these guns are gone, the better. That way no one's stepping foot in that barn."

"Dale, Shane will try to take those walkers down with or without the guns. Getting rid of these isn't going to help." She tried to reason with him but he'd made up his mind.

"They're not staying here." He expressed vehemently.

"Well, I'm taking mine." She told him and he didn't stop her from unzipping the bag. She withdrew the holster and handgun that still lay together and wrapped it around her waist. Then she grabbed the other handgun that she had previously stored in her backpack and tucked it into the back of her jeans, folding her shirt down over top to conceal it.

"Where do you plan on taking them?"

"I'll bury them in the woods. Somewhere no one will find them."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Don't take this the wrong way but people watch you, Tess. Me? I'm relatively unnoticed." Tess frowned but nodded, accepting his decision. Dale could be inconspicuous.

"Okay but I don't really like this idea."

"It'll be fine. Just keep an eye on things around here for me?" Dale asked her with a desperate look in his eyes. Tess thought about how she had planned to go look for Sophia but decided the urgency on Dale's face convinced her to stay put.

"Okay. Be safe." She told him, feeling uneasy.

"You too." Hurriedly, Dale closed up and picked up the bag. He left the RV and snuck away from camp.

—

Elsewhere, not too far away from camp, Daryl and Carol walked alongside a stream looking for any sign of the woman's daughter. Daryl was somewhat surprised that she even wanted to be around him after he had called her a stupid bitch this morning in the stables. He had wanted to saddle up and go out on his own again but Carol had stopped him and expressed her concern about losing him as well. He wasn't really angry with her, he just didn't know how else to react.

Along the edge of the water, Daryl spotted a white flower in full bloom. A Cherokee rose. The same flower that he'd given to Carol just days ago. It was a sign. It had to be.

"You see it?" He asked her.

"See what?" She replied and he pointed over at the rose. Carol smiled softly, touched by how much he cared about her daughter. A damn near sight more than her daddy ever did that's for sure. It was a pleasant unexpected turn of events that Carol never could have imagined for the man that stood in front of her now.

"I'll find her." Daryl told her firmly. He refused to give up hope. It was almost like an obsession for him now.

"Hey, I'm sorry about what happened this morning." Carol told him wholeheartedly. "You wanted to look for her." Daryl nodded, accepting her apology even though he didn't feel worthy of one. "Why? This whole time I've wanted to ask you that."

"'Cause I think she's still out there." He shrugged and then admitted, "Truth is, what else have I got to do?"

"You are important to the group Daryl, you have to know that." Carol stressed to him, hating to see how little he thought of himself.

"I ain't one of ya'." He shook his head, not convinced. "Rick, Shane… I ain't like them."

"You're as good a man as Rick. And a far better man than Shane. I'm not the only one that thinks that."

Daryl merely grunted. Carol's flattery was starting to make him uncomfortable and he didn't have any words to respond to her with. Carol could tell that he wasn't convinced and she sighed quietly to herself. At times, she saw a lot of herself in Daryl. They both had abusive men in their lives and while Carol had grown meek and unassuming, Daryl let it fuel his anger and he became cold and uncaring. But the small, private moments, like when he delivered the rose to her in the RV, reminded her that it was all just a front. It was a wound that was slowly healing.

Even now, he was a completely different person than who he had been when she first met him before the quarry camp. So much and not a lot had changed at the same time. They'd lost people but they'd also gained people. They'd moved on from one place but had found another. But their circumstances were no less dire. They were still struggling and life was still so uncertain. It wasn't enough for anyone to feel truly comfortable.

Daryl's first semblance of independence, without his brother looming over him and judging his every more, was the first step in healing those wounds. Whether or not he'd ever admit it himself, Carol knew he was far better off without him. Just as she was without Ed. And Daryl might have lost Merle but he gained so much more. Friends, people that cared for him and people to care for. She was particularly aware of how close Daryl had gotten to their latest group member, Tess. It made her smile seeing how close they were becoming and although Daryl may try to hide it, she could tell how much he cared about her too. Especially after this morning's events.

"You should take one back for Tess." Carol told him, pointing down at the flowers. Daryl gave her a perplexed look. He did consider it for a moment but the thought made him far too uncomfortable and he shook his head.

"Nah, I ain't doin' that. Let's go." He responded gruffly and began to walk back to camp. Worth a shot, Carol thought to herself and followed behind him.

—

Tess relieved Glenn from watch in front of the barn after a while; taking up the makeshift post. She felt like she was not so much keeping an eye on the walkers but also watching out for anybody who might take it upon themselves to deal with the issue at hand themselves. A part of her couldn't help but feel like it was a waste of time but she dared not say that aloud.

The deck chair that had once been on top of the RV was now sitting in the sun a few dozen feet from the barn and Tess shifted uncomfortably, waiting for it all to be over. It was early afternoon by the time she saw Carol and Daryl wandering back up to the camp and she waved at them both in greeting. She wondered what they had been doing as it was not often that Carol wandered far from the campsite or farmhouse. But that's their business, she told herself despite the fleeting feeling of what she realized was jealousy that surfaced when she first saw them.

She hadn't really had a lot of time to think about how she felt or her current situation with Daryl lately. However now, all she had was time alone with her thoughts but she didn't know if she was ready to start analyzing her feelings. It was clear to her that she definitely felt some type of way, otherwise she wouldn't have felt jealous. But she'd never really been the relationship type and so she didn't know what to do. Was that even what she wanted? Was that what he wanted? That, she certainly didn't know.

She looked at Daryl and she felt seen, like there was some sort of unspoken understanding between the two of them. There was no judgment or expectation (beyond Daryl's irrational backlashes which she'd begun to realize were ill-planned at best and merely an act of self defense). She always found herself seeking him out but that could just be because she felt more akin to him than anyone else. It didn't mean that any of the feelings she was experiencing were romantic. It didn't. They couldn't. She'd never had time for anything serious in her life before and she certainly didn't now. Even something casual was too much to ask for. The distraction wasn't worth it.

And so, she'd forget about the jealousy and the status quo would remain the same. She hoped.

—

It was about an hour later that she started to hear shouting coming from the farmhouse. Tess got up from her chair and looked back toward the Greene house. In front of the porch steps, Shane was doling out what appeared to be guns from the same bag Dale had left to hide earlier. A horrible pit of anxiety opened up in her stomach at the thought of Shane approaching Dale in the woods, with no one else around and she scanned the group desperately looking for the older man. But he was nowhere to be seen.

Just as she thought about running over and confronting Shane, Tess started to hear the growling and snapping sound of walkers approaching to her left and spun to face them.

"Rick? Hershel?" She called out, seeing them leading walkers on pole snares towards the barn. "What are you doing?"

"They're going in the barn." Hershel informed her and she looked nervously between them and the group at the farmhouse. Shane had caught wind of them too and was beginning to head their way, quicker and quicker.

"Well you better hurry up 'cause we've got a problem!" She shouted back and started walking towards the oncoming stampede of angry and confused people.

Shane was charging towards her and Tess gripped the handgun tucked into the back of her jeans. Just in case.

"Get out of the way." He demanded, his eyes wild and dangerous. Tess stood her ground despite how unsettling his intensity was and told him firmly,

"They're going in the barn and you're going to walk away."

"Like hell! We ain't doing this shit no more!" He shouted at her, advancing.

"You're out of line, Shane. Walk away. Now." She warned him, her grip on the handle tightening as she grew nervous.

"I've had it up to here with your sanctimonious bullshit!" He yelled at her and tried to step around her but she mirrored him. "You ain't getting in my way no more." He snarled lowly and raised his gun threateningly.

Gasps echoed from behind him and Lori exclaimed her disbelief as she clutched her son tightly. Tess froze, her hand growing limp around the handle of her gun.

"Hey!" Daryl bellowed in outrage and began to push his way up to Shane but Tess sent him a stern look, asking him not to do anything.

She slowly brought both hands up and in clear view. Drawing her gun now would only do more harm than good and she wasn't about to scare the shit out of everyone here by antagonizing Shane.

"You gonna shoot me?" Tess asked, evenly, her eyes drifting over to a distressed looking Carl for the smallest of moments.

"In front of everyone?" She cautioned him and he faltered ever so slightly, the briefest look of remorse flickering on his face. But it only lasted a mere split second and he continued to scowl.

"That's up to you." Shane contested, not backing down and Tess knew she really only had two choices. Back down and let him at the walkers or put him down. The latter of which she wasn't able to stomach doing in front of Carl.

"Whatever happens now, that's on you." With a dour look of disappointment, she stepped aside and Shane barged past her.

"What the hell are you doing?!" He roared as Rick struggled against the walker that had gotten riled up in the commotion.

"Shane, just back off." Rick ordered but Shane had complete tunnel vision now and there was only one way this was going to end.

"Why do your people have guns?" Grunted Hershel as he pulled against the walker.

"Are you kidding me?!" Shane cried desperately, "You see? You see what you're holding onto?" He pointed at the gnashing bodies with ropes around their necks.

"I see who I'm holding onto." The old man corrected him. Drawn by the commotion, Maggie, Beth and Patricia were now also standing amongst the group, looking terrified.

"No, man, you don't." Spat Shane and he paced like a caged animal.

"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk." Reason Rick, hoping his friend would back down but even the threat of a perspective gun to his head wasn't enough so he didn't think it likely.

"What you want to talk about, Rick?" He sneered, "These things ain't sick. They're not people. They're dead. Ain't gonna feel nothing for them 'cause all they do, they kill!" He shouted at him and Tess was convinced that he'd utterly lost control at this point.

Whatever man Rick once knew his friend to be, was completely gone. Whoever this person was, was ugly and angry and unyielding.

"These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy! They killed Otis. They're gonna kill all of us!" Shane bellowed, completely unhinged.

"Shane, shut up!" Exclaimed Rick, his distress insurmountable. Shane became disturbingly calm for a moment and stood squarely to Hershel.

"Hey, Hershel, man, let me ask you something. Could a living, breathing person, could they walk away from this?" He asked and began firing rounds into the walker he was leading on.

"No!" Rick screamed but the damage was done. "Stop it!"

"That's three rounds in the chest! Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?" Shane shouted at Hershel and the old man's face dropped in distress.

"Why is it still coming?" Shane continued to pelt the walker with bullets, each one hitting its body like it was nothing. "That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?!"

"Shane, enough!" Growled Rick as he looked at Hershel's face, which was a deathly shade of white. He wished there was something he could do but it was too late.

"Yeah, you're right, man. That is enough." With a final loud crack, Shane fired a bullet directly into the skull of the walker Hershel was restraining and it fell in a heap on the group.

Tess shuddered as she watched Hershel stumble under the weight of the collapsed body and felt frozen to the spot. She could tell he couldn't believe what he was seeing by the look of denial and fear in his eyes. This had gotten far too out of hand now but Shane was on the warpath and wouldn't be stopped.

"Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!" Shane continued his tirade at the top of his lungs. Tess looked over at Carol who looked close to tears and then to Daryl who looked the most upset she'd ever seen him. Her heart wrenched for them both.

"Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Enough! Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you gotta fight for it! I'm talking about fighting, right here, right now!"

With a final yell, Shane bolted for the barn and began yanking at the chain on the door.

Rick began to cry out for Hershel to take his snare pole from him but he was frozen to the spot, unable to comprehend or even hear what was going on.

"Shane, stop!" Rick made one last defeated cry for mercy and looked over at the group desperately, his eyes begging for someone to do something.

Tess wanted to help him, she really did but there was nothing that could be done. Shane wasn't going to be convinced otherwise and truth be told, most people agreed with him, even if they didn't agree with his methods. Tess felt disappointed.

Didn't they realize what this would mean for them all? They'd be out on their asses again with nowhere safe to sleep for the night, constantly watching their backs. Who knew if it would even be safe for them to stay in the area and that would mean that they would have to move on from Sophia. There'd certainly be no getting her back then.

Shane threw the barn doors wide open.

"Come on. Come on, we're out here!" He shouted into the darkness and the growling grew louder as the throng of walkers came forth. Like many times before, Tess pulled out her gun and began firing. The recoil felt stronger than normal and she could feel the panic rising in her chest as people began to scream, the Greene's begging them to stop.

Riddled with bullets, they fell one by one into the dirt and the dust settled with the din.

Tess looked down at Hershel's family that lay, slaughtered, hearing Beth, Patricia and Maggie sob. The former of the three darted toward a woman's body and she hugged her so tightly it was no mystery to them who she was. Just when she thought it was all over, a quiet rasping sound echoed from the shadows in the barn.

A small, timid frame shuffled out of the barn and into the daylight. The sparkly rainbow on her small blue shirt caught the light and the sight of Sophia made everyone gasp. Her face was white and purple, dead and rotting and her mouth was turned up in a hungry snarl. There was nothing left of the Sophia they knew.

"Sophia? Sophia!" Carol howled and raced to clutch her daughter. Daryl intercepted her and wrapped his arms around her. They both fell to their knees, devastated. Tess felt sick to her stomach and she staggered, dropping down to one knee.

She had been here the whole time. Right under their noses. And they never knew. All that time spent looking for her, enduring the pain and suffering was for nothing. They never had any chance of finding her. She could have been there before even they were. It was all for nothing.

No one knew what to do or, rather, was willing to do what had to be done. Even Shane, who moments ago had been in a furious rage, stood quietly, afraid to move. Sophia slowly walked closer and closer and each growl and moan that came from her mouth caused Carol to weep. Rick steeled himself and stepped forward. He raised his colt python and silently apologized to the young girl, no older than his own son.

Sophia fell with a bullet to the head.