Chapter 40 - Heavy Metal Suicide
Cell Block C
War.
Like every time before, Tess was prepared to run head first into it and lay her life on the line in the name of freedom. That was her job and it hadn't changed. It was going to be a vastly different war this time around though. There were no rules. No one to reprimand you if you stepped out of line. It would be guerrilla. There was no doubt in her mind that The Governor would be ruthless until the very end. But how long did they have? How long until the wolves would be at their door? Tonight? Tomorrow? Days from now? Rick had left the room abruptly after his announcement and hadn't given anyone the chance to ask further questions. Tess was left to assume that they were safe, at least for tonight.
She returned to her room shortly thereafter. Despite all her misgivings, she wanted to talk to Daryl about it, ask him what had happened today. She had to know what had happened out there in no-man's land that had made him so disturbed. But he never returned to his cell. Or at least if he did, he didn't make himself known to her. Tess tried not to give it too much thought but the ripples of anxiety continued to ebb around her consciousness as she drifted off to sleep. Her dreams were a kaleidoscope of possibilities - The Governor laying waste to them as they slept in their beds. A legion of walkers dropped into their front yard with the sole purpose of devouring them. The Woodbury army smoking them out and setting them up for slaughter. They were nothing but increasingly terrible scenarios where they never came out on top; which made it another fitful night of restless sleep.
The following morning, Tess was up before dawn. She crept out of her room, spying Daryl's empty cell as she left and slipped outside to catch the sunrise. She found him sitting on one of the tables, now riddled with bullet holes. He had his back to her and seemed lost in thought, not giving any indication that he'd heard her (although she doubted he'd missed the sound of the door opening). Tess hugged her arms around her torso, bracing herself against the cool morning air and Daryl's rigid exterior.
"You're up early." She stated, making her presence known. "Couldn't sleep?" She stood beside the table expectantly and watched Daryl flick the cigarette he'd been holding into the dirt.
"Nah." He grunted in reply. He hadn't slept all night. Too many loud and intrusive thoughts ran rampant in his mind, making it impossible for him to find any semblance of peace.
"What happened yesterday?"
"A fat load of nothing, that's what." Daryl grumbled and Tess sensed there was far more to it than he was letting on.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, slowly, hesitantly, like she was poking a bear and waiting to see if it would eat her alive or not.
"I thought you hated me?" He answered, expressionless.
Tess gnawed on her bottom lip nervously. She didn't hate him. She'd never hated him. At times, she wished she had, it would have made things so much easier, but she was never able to.
"I don't hate you." She said with conviction, voice thick with emotion.
He looked up at her then. Deep blue eyes poured over her and it was enough to make her forget all about her anger too. Maybe Glenn had a point? Was being angry really worth it? It certainly didn't feel like it anymore.
"I met Martinez." Daryl told her, dragging her out of the azure depths. She blinked at him as she made sense of what he'd said.
"Who told you?"
"Merle."
"What else did he tell you?"
"What else should he have told me?" Daryl shifted along the table, turning to face her. Whether he was giving her room to sit alongside him or not, she wasn't sure but she took it as an invitation anyway.
"I know you have questions, so ask them." She told him, waiting patiently for whatever came her way.
"Why'd he do it?"
"Honestly," She sighed, "I'm not sure. Finish the job maybe? Martinez was never a nice guy and he never liked me. He left me and Nate to die at the hospital in Atlanta. I think he just saw his opportunity and took it."
"You haven't once said you want him dead though? What is it that The Governor did?"
"Of course I want him dead. But I've been harboring that grudge for so long that I know that it's just a matter of time. The Governor…"
Tess inhaled deeply, feeling her heart rate increase as her next few words got lodged in her throat. It was just as hard bringing them forth now as it had been the first time. She shoved her hands under her thighs to stop from picking at her nails and slowly began forming her response.
"When we left Marcus and the others in Peachtree, they were heading to Senioa. It wasn't until I saw him again that I remembered he told me he was going to Woodbury. The Governor wanted to know about us. Where we were staying, how many of us there were. Maybe he let Martinez at it first to see if I would crack. The last thing I was going to do was talk to any of those assholes. But he knew Marcus and he wanted to get me to talk."
Tess stubbornly wiped away any tears before they could fall. She wasn't going to cry about it. Not anymore.
"I couldn't tell him about the prison. Not with you all here. I was prepared to die for that. Instead, I got Marcus killed for it and it was all for nothing."
A painful silence fell over them both - Tess trapped in her troubles and Daryl swathed with guilt. She'd needed him more than he knew and he'd left her to suffer through all it on her own. He understood now. Her anger and fear and reluctance. He'd given her no good reason for his absence when she needed him the most.
"I'm sorry about Marcus." Daryl sincerely apologized, wishing for a do-over. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
Tess felt a warm hand brush the side of her arm and when didn't immediately refuse it, it held her. The warmth emanating from Daryl's palm crept through her skin like a plague, devouring her from within. She'd wished for this. Craved for this. Yet now, it still didn't feel right. The anger may not have been there anymore but the insecurity and distrust was and she slowly pulled her arm away, circling them around herself instead.
They stayed and watched the sun crest in the sky, quietly seated side by side on the table top; their feet resting on the seat below. There wasn't any further discussion of Martinez or The Governor and Marcus. Daryl never asked her more about what happened or why she was willing to die for them. He never told her how uncomfortable that admission had made him. Never mentioned how much it would have destroyed him had that been the case. He kept all that to himself.
He snuck glances at her pained expression, wondering if she would ever let him in again. Over the span of his lifetime, Daryl had grown to master an apathetic indifference towards everyone and everything. But in just a year's time, that had become something of a distant memory. Oftentimes, it troubled him how much he cared, it felt unnatural. Yet, if he had to care about anything, about anyone, he was glad it was her.
—
The morning came and went quickly. Breakfast was a short, lackluster affair. There was much work to be done and not many people were in the mood for errant chatter. Both Merle and Rick were noticeably absent from their morning meal but Tess cracked it up to Rick giving Merle a stern warning and/or assessing where his priorities lay. It was a fair enough assumption and she thought it was warranted enough.
Daryl, Glenn, Beth and Michonne worked together to lay spike traps at the prison gate and Tess aided Maggie in lining the sheer walls of the catwalks with pallets and bits of steel. Strong enough ammunition would puncture the wooden pallets regardless but at least it would give them some semblance of cover, at least for a while. As long as they were firing hollow points and not full metal jackets, they'd be safe. Tess dragged another half pallet along the footbridge, adjusting for the odd splinter she had since acquired, until something caught her eye. Beneath her, she spotted Rick and Merle embroiled in a tense discussion. She peered at them suspiciously. It didn't look like Merle was being scolded or interrogated. She tried to listen in but from here, it was impossible.
The low hum of a car motor and the scraping sounds of tyres on gravel grew louder as the others drove back up from the gate. One by one they hopped out and Tess watched as Rick and Merle's gazes stayed fixed on Michonne. A terrible feeling began brewing in the pit of her stomach.
"Hey, you okay? I feel like you haven't heard a single thing I've said." Maggie jabbed her in the shoulder and Tess shook her head free of its fog.
"Sorry, lost in thought. What were you talking about?"
"Nothing really, I was just rambling. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, fine." Tess nodded distractedly and looked back over the catwalk again. Michonne and Merle were nowhere to be seen.
"Actually, do you mind finishing up on your own? There's something I gotta do."
"Uh, sure? Okay."
"Thanks. I owe you one." Without a second thought, Tess raced out of the catwalk and back into the prison in search of Merle. Maggie stared after her, bewildered.
Tess bound into Cell Block C, trying her best not to look flustered but her desperately searching eyes were a dead giveaway to anyone that looked. Carl was busy playing with sister, with Beth eagerly watching over them. Hershel was quietly sorting through his medical bag and looked up as she entered the room.
"Everything okay?" He asked, his voice soft with concern.
"Yeah, you haven't seen Michonne have you?"
"Not since this morning." Hershel shook his head.
"If you see her, will you let her know I'm looking for her?"
"Of course. What's all this about?"
"Nothing. I've just gotta talk to her is all."
Tess didn't know why she was being so cagey. Perhaps it was because she hoped her gut instinct was wrong and she was just overreacting. Maybe, because if she was right, she wanted to spare Rick the judgment. If she was right, God I hope I'm not, then Rick was going to get an earful. She left the cell block again before Hershel could ask her any more questions and continued her search for either Merle or Michonne, or both. The winding hallways were a maze of dark corners and empty rooms. They could be anywhere. They might not even be here at all. Tess desperately scoured every room she came across, only getting deeper and deeper into the dark. She was beginning to think that perhaps she was too late.
There was a sudden faint crash, followed by a dull thump that drew her attention. It came from down the hall and Tess dashed in its direction and came barreling through the door to the boiler room where she found Merle standing over an unconscious Michonne. Merle spun to assess his intruder but turned back unphased when he noticed it was her.
"Stay out of it, Red." He warned her as he reached over for some wire.
"The fuck are you doing?" Tess climbed over the pile of odds and ends that had been stashed away, including two rifles, and crouched beside Michonne. She pressed her fingers to her neck and felt the drum of a steady pulse.
"What y'all should be doing. Step away."
"Not a chance. You're not giving her to him." Tess scowled at him fiercely.
"Don't start judgin' me. Your pal Rick signed off on this."
"Rick's an asshole for that. I'll make sure to tell him. But you're still not taking her."
"You gonna stop me? You'll have to kill me." Merle challenged her his eyes landing on the holstered gun on her hip. Rising to meet his challenge, Tess pulled it from its casing and held it firmly at her side - a warning. A warning that Merle saw right through.
"Nah. You won't." Merle chuckled darkly, "You can't. Wanna know how I know that?"
"Enlighten me."
"Cause you love my brother. Any half-wit with two eyes and a brain cell can see that."
"I don't have to kill you." She retorted, not denying him.
"You also could'a told any one of your little friends about your hunch but you didn't. So, if you ain't here to kill me and you ain't here to stop me, what are you here for?"
Tess rose slowly from her crouch. She didn't have an answer to give him. Her thought process had been rushed and incomplete when she had begun her manhunt and now that she was standing in front of Merle, she felt like he knew something she didn't.
"I'm here for Michonne." She reasserted calmly and Merle shook his head.
"Be honest, now."
"What is it you expect me to say, Merle, huh? What is it that you think I'm doing?"
"I think you saw an opportunity and you're seizing it."
"An opportunity for what?" She eyed him suspiciously.
"Revenge. Ain't nobody in the line of fire no more. You ain't gotta worry about casualties."
"You think I'm here because I want to turn this into some kind of suicide mission?"
"Why else?"
"I told you, that's not happening."
"We got one chance to end this without any of yer pals becomin' walker bait' or worse. You could get 'em both, The Governor, Martinez. We could end it today."
The more Merle spoke, the more she was becoming convinced. She wanted revenge. More than anything.
"Suddenly you want to be a hero?"
"It ain't about bein' a hero, it's about makin' things right."
"Sounds awfully heroic to me. Yesterday you said we should just move on. Why the change in heart?"
"Cause it ain't about me."
Tess stared into the dark pits of Merle's eyes and found no deceit or hint of a lie. He wanted to do this, not for himself but for them. Or at least for Daryl. Perhaps it was his one chance at redemption. Tess couldn't deny him that. She also couldn't deny herself the opportunity for vengeance.
"Okay. I'm in. But Michonne stays here."
Tess and Merle took the rifles that he had swiped from the armory and set out on foot. It would take longer for them to get where they were going but at least they could slip out undetected. Walking away from the prison had unsettled her nerves and Tess had to tell herself repeatedly that she was doing the right thing otherwise she was likely to turn back immediately. She reasoned that Merle would go ahead with his plan with or without her. At least, this way, she could watch his back.
Their absence would be noticed soon enough and coupled with her earlier strange behavior, she was certain it wouldn't take long for Daryl to come after them. Michonne would eventually wake up and tell him exactly what had happened too, which would make it even easier for him to find them. A part of her hoped he'd reach them before they found The Governor and the other part of her wished he'd be too late. That they'd be done with The Governor and his men before Daryl had located them and they could return home knowing that the job was done.
They didn't have much of a plan. Their walk through the woods had been silent. Tess, too tense to say much and Merle still calculating their next steps in his head. She carried the Winchester Model 70 over her shoulder with a vice-like grip on the strap and tried to come to terms with the cold-blooded murderer she'd allowed herself to become. She didn't feel guilty, which somehow made her feel worse. Cognitive dissonance was a troubling thing and a terrible part of being human. She wanted this, she was okay with being this but she knew she shouldn't be.
Murdering The Governor, Martinez and whoever else from the Woodbury army was morally ambiguous. With no laws to discern crime and punishment, who was to say what was right or wrong anymore. They deserved it, that Tess was certain of, but an eye for an eye made the whole world blind. Except what did it matter when you were already walking in the dark? Merle was right, she had anger inside of her and the only way she knew how to placate it was to stab the other eye.
"Y'know, I've never met two people so feckin' miserable in my whole goddamn life." Merle complained unexpectedly and Tess frowned at his back, trying to make sense of his comment.
"What?"
"You and Darlina having a pout off or something? What are you so pissy for anyway? He came back didn't he?"
"God, I'm so not having this conversation with you." Tess groaned, unenthused.
"I'm just sayin', I think you made your point. If I have to suffer through any more pansy ass pining, I think I might kill myself. Get off your high horse, girl."
"No, you're right. He only kissed me and then fucked off, so tell me, how should I feel?" Tess could have hit herself in the face right then and there if it weren't for the fact that her arms weren't so tensed. Merle returned her snide comment with a low whistle.
"Who knew he had it in him."
"Shut up."
After some time walking in silence, they traded walking for a car they found at an abandoned motel. Merle hotwired the old sedan so expertly that Tess gathered he had likely done it many times before. Tess took her place in the passenger seat and her eyes burned a hole in the window as she fixated on the road while they drove. She might've been completely on board with their mission but it didn't help to untangle the knot of anxiety in her chest. They drove in complete silence until she couldn't take it anymore and began rifling through the glove compartment.
"What are you doin'?" Merle's exasperated sigh drew her attention away from the folder in hand.
"The silence is driving me insane. You're not much of a conversationalist, so music it is. How does the soundtrack of Cats sound?"
"Like I'll drive us off the road."
"Gotcha. So nothing by Andrew Lloyd Webber then. How about The Doors? The Greatest Hits of Bread?" Merle's knuckles were beginning to turn white against the steering wheel. "Ooh, R.E.M? It's the end of the world as we know it. Do you feel fine?"
Surreptitiously, Tess selected a disc from the folder and slipped it into the CD player before Merle could get a look. She could tell that he was holding his breath and biting his tongue while the disc ticked over in the player and she hid her laugh in a muffled clearing of her throat. The iconic riff and air-raid siren of Black Sabbath's War Pigs began playing through the speakers and she watched as Merle's hands unclenched from the wheel.
"I was kidding about Cats by the way."
"You're annoying as hell, y'know that?"
"Like you aren't? Just trying to lighten the mood." Tess shrugged. The closer they got to their destination, the heavier her shoulders felt.
"At least you've got taste, I'll give you that."
"A bit on the nose but I'm all for a good battle song."
"So what's the plan, huh? Is there a plan?" Tess finally asked the question that had been burning in her frontal lobe since they left the prison.
"There was a plan but you ruined it."
"Okay, so Plan B. What's Plan B? You go high, I go low?" Tess suggested, implying that the two different guns on the back seat had very different uses.
Merle mulled it over. He didn't particularly have a preference, however he did have an inkling of what was right. The woman beside him didn't mean much to him, he hardly knew her but he had to admit that she'd at least made the effort to get to know him. He could see how she had weasled her way under his brother's skin. She might not have mattered to him but Merle was trying to take the better path now and if she mattered to Daryl then he had to account for that.
"You go high. I'll go low."
About thirty minutes later, they pulled over in an empty parking lot about a mile from their destination. Their plan was set. The time had come. It was now or never and there was no turning back.
"You sure about this?" Tess asked Merle through the open passenger door window, the Winchester slung over her shoulder. Stone-faced and staring dead ahead, Merle nodded without hesitation. If this is the end, then so be it, he thought to himself.
Tess backed away from the car slowly, bid him farewell and then began again on foot to the feed store. She ran through the trees following the directions Merle had given her (few and far between that they were), working her way through the forest until the ground began to slope upwards. Thick tussock and underbrush blanketed the ground and she had to use her hands at parts to help clamber through it. The ground plateaued again for a brief margin and then the incline increased drastically to where she had to physically pull herself up from tree to tree in order to make it up to the top of the bank.
She ripped her way through the tangle of bushes along the ridge and kept low as she crept out from the safety of the trees. A matching pair of patchy, red roof barns, equal in disrepair, loomed ahead of her. The metal walls were stained umber with rust and looked about one strong breeze away from falling over. A burnt out car, missing its windows and three of its tyres, was left abandoned by the bank and Tess sought cover behind it. She wasn't alone.
A fleet of vehicles, varying in armaments, were stationed at the front of the feed store. From what she could see so far, Tess counted at least nine men. None of them being Martinez or The Governor. It was overkill for a mere hostage handover. They'd turned The Governor's ambush into their own trap. That was confirmation enough for Tess to feel assured that they were doing the right thing. Whatever apprehension or guilt she had felt, disappeared with a steady breath as she propped the rifle up on the vacant window of the passenger door.
Tess waited patiently, measuring her breaths and counting the heads that bobbed in and out of her view, waiting for Merle to make his entrance as she scoped out a place to position herself. Swiftly, she darted over to the barn furthest from the people of Woodbury and ducked into the shadows, her back to the wall and her eyes constantly scanning for any sign of movement. The barn smelt like old, damp straw and grain mixed with something that was dead or dying. A tall wooden ladder was attached to a garret at the back of the barn and Tess' eyes trailed up it to the hayloft where the roof had broken away, allowing patches of sunlight to stream through.
A few rungs had broken away at the bottom steps and Tess tentatively tested the railings before climbing up to the loft. Wooden crates and rotting hay bales were scattered haphazardly across the floor and Tess dragged a crate over to a hole in the roof where she could better see. She knelt in front of the box and propped her elbows on top to rest for her rifle. Through the sight, she could now see around fifteen or so men - some of which were hardly old enough to be called men. She trailed the barrel of her gun sideways and froze when she spotted Martinez.
He was casually leaning against the wall of the opposite barn, his arms folded across his chest looking bored. Tess' fingers itched to reach for the trigger but she willed them to stay put. She watched as the barn door opened by a fraction and Martinez turned to talk to whoever was inside - it had to be The Governor. The barn door closed again and Martinez walked out of sight.
Tess let out an impatient sigh as she waited for Merle. He had instructed her to go on ahead, all but demanded it, telling her he had a plan but needed some more time and she couldn't get in the way. 'I'll give you the signal', he had told her. She sincerely hoped that his plan wasn't to leave her high and dry. She wasn't ignorant to the fact that she was putting a lot of faith into a man that she hardly knew. Especially one that she wasn't completely sure she could trust. She waited and watched and as the minutes ticked by, she began to think less and less of the older Dixon brother. Had he questioned their chances, seen his opportunity to flee and taken it?
A faint noise that slowly grew louder and louder began drawing the attention of the Woodbury soldiers on the ground. The sound became clear enough to discern that it was music as whatever carried it drew closer. Tess couldn't see much of the road from here but she didn't need to see in order to know what it was. Merle. The old sedan crawled its way up to the feed store, Metallica blasting from its speakers, and a mass of walkers trailed along after it, trying to claw at the noisy, metal machine.
The soldiers began firing their weapons at the walkers as their attention was pulled away from the vehicle in search of flesh. Tess knew this had to be the signal she was waiting for - use the distraction to their advantage and pick the bastards off in the chaos. Slow and steady, Tess targeted the soldiers at the back of the pack, picking them off one by one while their focus was elsewhere. However, it didn't take long before they began to realize that they weren't only under threat of walkers. They gunned down the lumbering dead in a matter of a few short minutes and began ducking for cover as Merle opened fire on them as well.
The Governor had left the safety of the barn and Tess could see his shoulder appearing and vanishing every few seconds as he shot back at Merle. Tess steadied herself against the wooden crate as she waited for him to reappear again. A flicker of movement shifted from behind the barn and Tess squeezed the trigger, absorbing the impact with her shoulder which was now undoubtedly bruised. The bullet sailed through the air and into the timber wall, sending shards of fractured wood into the air, missing its target.
Tess cussed to herself and her heart pounded in her chest as she allowed herself to breathe again. She slid down to the floor out of sight and released the empty clip from the rifle before inserting a new one. Empty bullet casings were sprinkled around her. She climbed back up to her knees as she continued to set the new clip in place and placed the rifle back into position. As she placed her eye on the scope and began pulling back the lever, she saw The Governor, out from behind the barn and standing confidently, his gun pointed directly at her.
She had barely enough time to drop to the floor as bullets began hitting the tin roof. Her hands fumbled with the rifle and she lost her grip on the lever. When she was low and out of sight again, she pulled the rifle to her and tried to fix the jam that had resulted from her mishandling. She couldn't get the lever to budge. The rifle would need dismantling but time was of the essence and she couldn't waste it doing that.
The clamor on the roof stopped and Tess rushed back over the ladder, half climbing and half sliding down it. She left the rifle in the loft and opted for her handgun instead. Same as before, she stuck to the shadows and slipped out of the barn the way she came in, except rounding it this time instead of heading back to the burned out car. The gunfire was becoming less and less frequent and as the noise died down, Tess could hear the sound of tyres spinning in the dirt and speeding away down the road.
She pressed forward to the other barn. She could still see The Governor. A black, leather eye patch covered his right eye and it made him look all the more like an evil villain. He was fixated on Merle and over the blood rushing in her ears, she hadn't noticed the gunfire had stopped. Tess began to line up a shot as The Governor stalked ahead when she saw a figure bolting towards her from the side. She turned just in time to brace for impact and her gun went off as it fell out of her hand. She fell backwards but used the momentum of the tackle to roll them both, as she forced her way on top or at least to where she wasn't pinned underneath.
An elbow was viciously thrust into the space between her shoulder blades and the explosion of pain caused her to collapse in the dirt. Tess groaned as her face hit the ground and she winced and grit her teeth as she tried to push herself back up as quickly as she could. Familiar worn leather boots came toe to nose with her as her assailant rounded on her again. Martinez. Tess dug her fingers into the dirt, pulling up grass and soil.
"On your feet, Maggot." Martinez sneered, taunting her as he paraded above her. She pushed herself into a prone hold only for Martinez to kick her in the ribs and laugh mockingly. Tess panted, stunned by the blow and aching from the waist up, her fist still clenched tightly around the clump of earth.
"As a matter of fact, why don't you stay down there?" One boot moved and was replaced with a knee. Martinez crouched in front of her. He was so close that she could nearly feel his breath on her skin and the hairs on the back of her neck prickled with unease.
"Are you that desperate to be reunited with your friends? You've gotta be some special kind of stup-" Tess bolted up and flung the cluster of earth into Martinez's face and he shouted in surprise as he blindly stumbled away. She drove her shoulder into him and ripped his gun from his hand, pushing him off his feet. Before he could even think to dive for her weapon, she scooped up her handgun off the ground and towered over him.
"You talk too goddamn much." She seethed, her right arm raised, pointing the gun at his head. Martinez blinked blearily while wiping at his face.
Her vision was stained red with fury, driven by her anger and hatred of the man in front of her. She couldn't stand the sight of him. He disgusted her. She watched him brush the dirt from his eyes, unperturbed by her less than honorable maneuver. He wasn't worthy of an honorable fight. He certainly hadn't extended her that courtesy, so why should she?
"Too afraid to kill me, Murphy?" Martinez scoffed, although his shifting eyes gave away his nervousness.
Tess' head cocked to the side and she glowered at him. Afraid? No. Definitely not.
"No. I just wanted to look you in the eyes while I did it."
Before Caesar Martinez could react, Tess pulled the trigger. The bullet buried deep between his eyebrows and blood seeped from the wound into the dirt.
Tess stared at his frightful eyes and slack jaw and felt nothing. No remorse. No regret. No sadness. But also, no relief. No satisfaction or peace. Just nothing.
The sound of more tyres tearing away finally drew her out of her fog and Tess turned away from the body in the grass and ran off in the direction she had last seen The Governor and Merle. A terrible tense knot twisted inside her as she tried to find them. The firefight had ended long ago but that didn't mean they were out of the woods yet.
Tess heard the sound of something, or someone, being slammed against the barn and she raced through the silos to see The Governor pinning Merle down. Merle was battered and bruised and his left hand was bloody. Two stumps where fingers had been were oozing blood all along his arm. The Governor had Merle by the throat and was pointing an antique revolver at his chest.
A shout escaped her lips before she could think of what to do and The Governor spun to face her, stunned and confused. His one good eye widened in surprise when she lifted her gun to shoot but her now shaking hands caused her to miss and the bullet flew past his head and into the barn. It was close enough for the man to flinch and duck away, shooting back at her as he retreated.
Tess recoiled as she felt a bullet graze her arm but pressed ahead, shooting until the mag was empty and The Governor was out of sight. Normally, she'd continue to pursue him but Merle looked in dire need of help and she couldn't turn away from that. He had slumped to the ground and she staggered over to him, the comedown of her adrenaline hitting her with the full force of a hundred lead bricks.
"Merle?" She crouched in front of him and grabbed him by the shoulders. She shook him slightly and his head wobbled woozily. Her own arm ached from the flesh wound.
"Merle, can you hear me?" Her tone stressed and worried.
She had meant to make sure that Merle got out of this alive; that had been her one job. She couldn't let him die. Merle groaned miserably. His breathing was shallow but he was alive. His head lolled to the side as he tried to look at her through bruising eyes.
"I'm getting you out of here, okay?" Tess assured him but he simply lifted his limp left arm and pushed her away in refusal.
Blood smeared down her sleeve and she finally examined his hand which was missing its two end fingers. With nothing better to use, she tore her shirt from her back like she had done for Randall and used it to wrap Merle's hand. He fought against her while she did so but his attempts were feeble and it didn't take much for her to overpower him in the state he was in.
Tess tried her best to haul Merle to his feet but he was dead weight in her arms and his determination to refuse her only made it more difficult.
"Come on, you've gotta work with me here."
"Just leave me, damn it." Merle slurred groggily. Tess shook her head. That wasn't an option.
"Like hell. Now get up you stubborn piece of shit."
"Fuck you bitch, I was ready to go."
"This ain't about you, remember? Or me. You're not dying here. Not today. I'll carry your hick ass back if I have to."
Merle stared deep into the depths of her soul and finally gave up his fight. His mission of redemption wouldn't end here. He'd live to fight another day, even if he had been ready for the end. Something in her eyes told him that he wasn't done yet. She looked at him like she knew there was more for him to do and that was enough for him to stop rejecting her help.
With both his hands out of action, he allowed her to link her arm around him to haul him up. He groaned in agony and Tess had to press her hand into his chest to steady him. The thought that he was touching her bare skin and exposed back never crossed her mind. She was too driven by her mission to be self conscious right now.
Merle hobbled slowly by her side as she directed them away from the barn and the feed store. The Woodbury army's vehicles were all gone along with The Governor. Dead bodies littered the ground wastefully, lying amongst walkers of varying decay. It was a macabre scene, one which she was glad to be escaping.
Her arm ached something painfully now. Enough to make her think that it may not just have been a graze. Blood tracked down her arm and between her fingers, making her hand slick and tacky. She brushed it against her pant leg, ignoring it as best she could for the time being.
Merle grunted with each step. His heavy breathing, laden with pain, the only sound between them as they staggered down the highway. The afternoon sun was turning the sky sanguine and ochre, mirroring their world below. At this rate, they'd be walking well into the night. Tess didn't know if she could keep them both going on her own for that long.
Her shoulders ached, her legs were growing tired and her mind was losing all clarity. If it weren't for the line markings on the road, she wouldn't have known if they were walking straight. Despite her concerns, of the two of them, Merle was the first to give in to his exhaustion. His legs crumpled beneath him and he slipped free of her grasp, collapsing in a heap on the ground.
Tess fumbled to his side and propped him up again to rest against her. They could stop for a while. There was no other option. They sat in the tall grass along the side of the road, the afternoon breeze causing Tess to shiver. It made her look down at her once gray shirt now turned dark as it soaked up Merle's blood. She clutched her own arm wound and instead of finding a minor graze, she felt a deep gash. No wonder it was so painful. Her red right hand fell to her lap, a poignant reminder of all the blood that was on her hands after today.
"Why are you helpin' me?" Merle inquired curiously, his speech slow and broken.
Tess looked over at him with heavy eyes, feeling like they could close at any minute. Perhaps it was the exhaustion or the blood loss making her feel light headed but she suddenly didn't care about being anything other than honest.
"Because you were right. I love your brother." She confessed, wanting, needing to hear it out loud. Her stomach flipped at the sound and it gave her a newfound sense of energy that had been buried deep inside of her. She had to keep going; at least long enough for Daryl to find them.
Merle stared at her as she got back onto her feet, his face an unreadable mix of exhaustion and something contemplative. He didn't laugh or poke fun at her. Something about her admission left him pensive and silent. She wasn't about to ask what.
Tess stared down the road in front of her as light rain began to sprinkle from above. About four hundred yards ahead, the trees opened up to make way for a now weed-grown and derelict two-storey roadhouse. It was the kind of place weary and desperate travelers would have settled for a night of inadequate rest. For now, it would serve as a roof over their heads should they need it.
Merle was beginning to look sallow and he seemed far from capable of walking. It left her no choice but to grab him by the wrist and haul him over her shoulder. Her arm ached as she twisted but she grit her teeth and made sure Merle was as secure as could be before standing again. She staggered under his weight but soon adjusted and began trudging down the road towards the tavern.
She could hear Merle grumbling incoherently in her ear as she walked. He muttered curses and slurs and everything under the sun, no doubt suffering from a wounded pride. Tess let him be. She had to focus on putting one foot in front of the other to make sure she didn't fall down. Her body continued to move like a woman possessed until she reached the front steps of the Mile End Inn. Unceremoniously, she placed Merle down onto the stoop. He muttered angrily under his breath.
"Grumble all you want," Tess rolled her eyes, "I don't care about your pride."
"I don't need you carryin' me like some damn cripple." He snapped at her with all the energy he could muster.
"No, what you need is a therapist. Or an anesthetist. Stay here. I'm going to see if I can find anything better for your hand."
Tess walked along the porch to the front door and peeked through the grimy window. There wasn't much to see. Empty tables, an old jukebox and a long bar at the back of the room. No sign of life; or death. The door swung open with ease and she held her knife at the ready as she entered the inn. Better safe than sorry.
There were four doors on the ground floor. Two were behind the bar (one of which had a porthole window) and the others were on opposite ends. Behind the bar appeared to be a galley kitchen and possibly an office or storage room. Tess could somewhat see into the kitchen through the serving window and it appeared empty. The door to her right was labeled Toilets, without discerning men's or women's. The one to her left appeared to lead upstairs, likely to the mediocre accommodation. Tess grabbed one of the wooden chairs and stuck it under the door handle of the last door. She couldn't hear anything moving about upstairs but it paid to be cautious nonetheless.
Tess walked round behind the bar to the unmarked door and rapped her knuckles against it before pressing her ear to wood. She didn't hear any scuffling or groaning and determined it to be safe. She tried the door handle. The door didn't budge. It did appear to be open but there was something pressed against it from the other side. Tess squared her stance and pressed her shoulder into the door before driving into it with all her might. Her boots struggled to maintain traction on the greasy carpet and she had to readjust multiple times to avoid slipping
The door slowly budged open about an inch and the air that wafted through carried a god-awful stench that made her shrink back in disgust. It reminded her of the smell that had hung over the Harrison Memorial parking lot. It was sharp and rancid and made her eyes burn. It was enough to almost make her walk away but then she thought about why she'd come in here in the first place and continued pushing the door open. Metal scraped along the floor on the other side of the door until the gap was wide enough for her to squeeze through. Tess took a deep breath and then entered the room.
It was dark inside the small office-come-storage room. Boxes of hand towels and other cleaning supplies were piled up in one corner beside a coat rack. Tess quickly grabbed the one jacket that had been flung over top of it and put it on before burying her nose in her elbow. A couple of tall, metal cabinets leaned against the walls and at the very back of the room was the source of the smell. Behind an IKEA-quality desk a man was stuck, slipping out of the chair. Half his head had been relocated to the back wall.
The intensity of the smell made her gag more than the sight. It felt like it was seeping into her skin. Not wanting to stay here any longer, Tess tore open the cabinets and began hunting for a med-kit, blinking back tears as she scoured the shelves. Hidden under a stack of Final Notice and Overdue Payment letters, Tess found a square, white box with a red cross on top and tucked it under her arm while escaping the room. She stumbled through the door and pulled it shut tightly, desperately inhaling the fresher air. On her way out of the building, she swiped a bottle of Finlandia from the bar and inhaled from the bottle to get rid of the stench of death.
"Your ass still better be on those steps, Merle!" She shouted from the front doors as she began swiftly walking back along the porch.
Merle was indeed still on the stoop where she had left him but he was no longer alone. Crouched in front of him was his brother. Daryl had found them. Tess wanted to run down and engulf him in a hug that expressed her relief and joy but the stricken expression on his face held her back. He gazed up at her and looked torn by the same desire. She rushed down the steps and crouched alongside him. They could reunite later. For now, Merle needed medical attention and so did she.
"What happened?" Daryl with a simple directness.
Tess began unraveling Merle's hand to show Daryl what was left, uncertain as to how he had come to lose two of his fingers.
"Find something for him to bite." Tess instructed Daryl.
He quickly found a sturdy enough stick that Merle wouldn't bite through. He forced it into his semiconscious mouth and Merle bit down fiercely when Tess poured the vodka over the wound. Thankfully, the wound had begun to clot and the bleeding had slowed and Tess was able to quickly rewrap his hand in a clean, white bandage. Her bloodied shirt lay forgotten in the dirt. Merle slumped back on the stairs, grumbling incoherently.
With Merle finally seen to, Tess shrugged off the jacket she'd found inside, which she'd soon discovered had absorbed the foul stench of decay. She wouldn't be putting that back on. It didn't take long for Daryl to spot the wound on her arm.
"I'm okay." She assured him quickly, noticing the worried look in his eyes. "It's just a graze."
Tess lifted the bottle again with a shaky hand but Daryl pried it from her before she could administer it herself. She didn't bother arguing and allowed him to clean and bandage the wound for her. She hissed as the alcohol washed down her arm and her nails dug into her knee as she braced herself against the pain.
"I know I shouldn't expect anything from you-"
"I should've told you, I know. It was hypocritical of me. I'm sorry."
Daryl just nodded as he tied the bandage off around her arm. It would no doubt need stitches to properly heal but they would need Hershel for that. As he got to his feet, he shrugged off his jacket from under his vest and handed it to her. She gratefully accepted the gesture and slipped it on, carefully making sure not to shift the bandage on her arm as she did so. With an arm each under Merle, they began carrying him back to the prison.