Chapter 41 - Farewell Friend
The Prison
They didn't have long. That much was for certain. With The Governor still breathing, there was no certainty of safety. Not after what they had just done. Martinez would become a martyr and the disciples of Woodbury would wage their holy war, bringing hellfire down upon them. What was once indefinite, was now determined. They had neither the man power nor the fire power to stand their ground. With one less active participant on their side, they had to do what was right by them all. They had to leave.
Merle was being seen to by Hershel. Their return to the prison had been met with a mixture of relief and disappointment. The latter, mostly on Glenn's behalf. His opinion of the older Dixon brother was blatantly obvious and he made no effort to hide it. He'd have been quite happy if Merle had wound up dead - paid for his sins. Tess could understand his distrust, given the circumstances with Maggie, but it unsettled her to see how blinded he was by his hatred, even after their discussion.
While Hershel dealt with Merle's wounds in the cells, Tess and Daryl joined Rick, Glenn, Carol and Maggie outside to discuss what to do next. All the while making sure to reprimand Tess for her 'brainless' stint.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Hissed Rick, his southern accent flaring with his anger.
"I was thinking that your idea of sending Michonne down the river was bullshit. You don't get to make that call. We owe her our lives, not the other way around. Merle was going to go with or without me. I thought it was better with."
"I was doing what I thought was right. For all of us."
"She is one of us. We don't sacrifice our own."
"Rick?" Carol gasped in admonishment, "You were going to hand Michonne over to The Governor?"
"It was for us! It was our only way out!"
"You don't know that, Rick." Tess shook her head, "The Governor ain't nothin' but a snake oil salesman and you bought into his bullshit."
"What would you have me do?"
"You don't have to be a dictator. We would follow you to the ends of the Earth," Tess placed a reassuring hand on Rick's shoulder, "you know that, but at some point, somethings gotta give. You can't make these calls on your own anymore."
Rick stepped back, deflated.
"I don't think I should be making these calls at all." He shook his head despairingly, distraught with the man he'd become. It was a painful vulnerability that they hadn't seen in Rick in a long time. He was being torn to pieces by grief, anger, stress and fear. It was enough to make anyone wither.
"We need to do somethin'. T'night." Daryl asserted, ripping through the tension like a band-aid torn from the skin.
"We can't stay here." Glenn added, which roused agreeing nods from them all.
"So we pack up the cars and go." Rick conceded, no longer willing to hold down the fort no matter the cost.
"Or we make them think we've gone?" Suggested Tess. Maggie looked unconvinced,
"You think they'll fall for that?"
"I think The Governor will be angry and irrational enough to not even consider it. We took out a lot of his best fighters-"
"Martinez?" Daryl interjected curiously.
"Dead." Tess locked eyes with him and there was an unspoken question of 'Are you okay?', with no reply. "Whoever's left, The Governor will be bringing them with him."
"If they're comin' here, then Woodbury will be unguarded." Daryl noted, hinting at their opportunity to let The Governor's Rome burn.
"There will be women and children there. They'll need somewhere to go." Maggie reasoned and they all knew what that meant, including Rick who had become somewhat of a recluse within their small community.
"So we take them in." He declared. The notion of inviting the unknown in, still felt foreign to him but he knew deep down that it was the right thing to do.
—
While the others began packing the cars in preparation to 'leave', Tess and Daryl went inside to check in on Merle. He had regained complete consciousness now and was sitting upright in an empty cell, nursing his hand. Hershel had done all he could to mend the wound caused by Merle's missing fingers. Normally such an injury wouldn't cause him to feel so disturbed, especially after seeing his own leg sawn off, but the distinct bite marks around the skin had been cause for concern. Merle hadn't been coherent enough at the time to share what had happened, so Hershel had stepped out once he was done just for a moment as he waited for him to come to.
Tess loitered in the doorway of the cell as Daryl went in to talk to his brother. Merle immediately grunted in disinterest when Daryl marched towards him. He was in for a telling off, he knew it and didn't care to hear it. His narrowed eyes shifted between the two of them, feeling like he was about to be hit with the good-cop/bad-cop routine.
"You've done some real birdbrained shit in your life and you don't ever seem to learn, do ya'?"
"At least I had the balls to do what y'all didn't." Merle spat back in a way that felt well rehearsed.
"Yeah, real heroic of you. You're lucky you ain't dead."
"Some luck." Scoffed Merle.
"You're welcome." Tess drawled, rolling her eyes.
"Really? What the hell, Merle? You tryna be some kind of martyr?"
"I ain't tryna do nothin'."
"Nah, you ain't tryin' at nothin' but given'em more reasons to hate you." Daryl snapped at him and Tess winced out of his view. She didn't agree with him. He hadn't seen Merle or heard his desperate plea for death like she had.
"The hell do I care 'bout what them people think of me?" Merle hissed in return.
"You should. It ain't Rick's call no more. If they want you out, you're gone. And I ain't comin' with ya' this time."
Merle supplied no witty remark or scalding rebuttal in his defense, instead he stared blankly into the wall over Daryl's shoulder. His dark, dull eyes bored into the concrete slab drearily, like the thought of being on his own again hadn't crossed his mind until just now. He suddenly looked smaller, weaker and Tess felt a shift in the room as, for the first time ever, Daryl looked at his brother and saw someone that wasn't indestructible.
As quickly as it came, it went. Merle grew to his full height and size again and his despondent expression disappeared. Daryl found himself sighing internally, his patience waning as Merle fought against every fiber of his being to prevent becoming a better person. It made him wonder how Tess had tolerated him after all the walls and barricades he had thrown up in her face.
"You're awful quiet over there, Red." Merle fractured the silence with a smirk, "You already get your reamin'?"
Tess went to reply but a voice from beyond the cell requested her attention. She turned to face her summoner and then gave Daryl a parting look before leaving.
"What's up, Hershel?"
"How's our patient doing?" The old man asked, nervously fussing with a handkerchief.
"He seems much better. Thank you for taking care of him." Hershel nodded in consideration and continued to do so as a thought lingered in his brain. Tess frowned to herself, sensing he had more to say.
"What is it?" She pressed with concern.
"His hand… the wound indicates that it was some kind of bite."
"A walker?" Tess' heart began pounding in her chest at the frightful thought.
"I don't know. He was too incoherent at the time for me to ask."
"Okay. Alright, I'll find out. Thank you Hershel."
Tess slowly walked back to the cell, twisting and pulling at her fingers as she returned. Merle and Daryl were squaring off in some sort of silent stalemate, waiting for the other to be the first to say something. When she stepped into the cell, Daryl turned his attention to her and Merle scoffed like Daryl had just thrown away some sort of grand prize.
Daryl could already sense that something was wrong just by her sudden shift in behavior. Tess considered pulling him aside to tell him what Hershel had told her but time was of the essence. It would make little difference if he found out separately.
"What happened to your hand?" Tess questioned Merle sternly. Instantly, his hackles raised.
"I'm down two more fingers ain't I? What kinda question is that?"
"How?" She interrogated further. Daryl's gaze shifted between them suspiciously.
"Don't matter how. I'm three quarters of the way to two stumps."
Tess was beginning to lose patience. She stepped in front of Daryl and towered over Merle, letting him know that she wasn't messing about. He scowled at her like some kind of cornered animal, his lip nearly curling up in a snarl.
"Hershel said he saw teeth marks. Did you get bit?" Merle glowered at her with the most fierce intensity he could rally and waited for her to shrink back. But she didn't. She didn't even flinch.
"I weren't bit by one of those assholes." He hissed at her.
He didn't know why he felt so ashamed. Maybe it was because he felt weak or maybe it was the fact that he was being forced to admit that someone had gotten the better of him. Whatever the reason, he reduced his anger down to disgust for the protectiveness Daryl showed for Tess, while he tried to move her behind him. The mere thought of her being close to danger, however irrational, made Daryl need to intervene and it made Merle want to vomit.
"Merle." Daryl warned him, sternly.
"It weren't no Creeper, ya' hear me?! It was the damn Governor that did this!" He raised his bandaged fist to their faces, parading it for them to see. "Like some fuckin' animal…"
A cold silence invaded the room as Tess and Daryl imagined the assault. Merle's blood in The Governors mouth, dripping from his lips as he spit Merle's fingers out. The rabid eyes of a man willing to do such a thing. She suddenly felt very guilty for asking. Merle slumped back down onto the bed, his injuries on full display for what they were - a man defeated.
"Hey, are you guys ready to go?" Beth's gentle voice asked them from beyond the bars.
Tess turned to face her. She didn't know if they were ready. Not that it mattered. She nodded affirmatively nonetheless but Beth continued to linger, watching Daryl examine Merle with an odd expression.
"He can stay with us." Beth finally offered and Daryl turned to face her. "We'll watch over him." She smiled in that same innocent and amiable manner that she always did, letting Daryl know it was no trouble and he nodded gratefully, allowing Beth to usher his brother away.
Tess turned to follow but Daryl's hand on her arm stopped her from leaving the room. Nervously, she looked up at him, waiting for him to say whatever it was he'd stopped her for.
"Thank you." He said quietly, his voice strained but firm.
"You don't have to thank me." Tess stepped back, allowing herself room to breathe and Daryl's hand fell away.
"I do. You could have left him to die. Why didn't you?"
"For you, of course." She told him, "He's your brother. I don't want you to lose him."
Daryl stared at her - it was the same kind of look she'd seen a few times in the past. One that made her feel like maybe she wasn't alone in her feelings. Only now, she was afraid of it and before he could say anything else or before she completely lost her mind and did something silly like act upon it, she left.
—
It didn't take long for The Governor and his men to arrive. In the early hours of the morning, they struck the front guard tower, blasting it to smithereens with grenade launchers. The convoy plowed through their gates like water from a broken dam. Tess watched on from her crouched position between Daryl and Michonne, all silent in horror as their home was invaded before their very eyes.
The Woodbury army began piling out of the vehicles and under the instruction of their Governor, began their invasion of the tombs. When the last of them disappeared inside, Rick, Daryl, Michonne and Tess pressed forward and out of the shadows of the forest. Carl and Carol stayed closer to Hershel, Beth and Merle who were still under cover of the trees.
The screeching sound of the prison alarm blared from the top of the hill, just as intended and the Woodbury residents began reappearing in the courtyard one by one, followed by opaque clouds of white smoke. From above, Glenn and Maggie appeared, head to toe in riot gear and began firing upon them. Tess and her three companions took up the rear and followed suit. Gunfire was returned with haste as the people of Woodbury began to flee. Above the noise of it all, The Governors muffled shouts, demanding they stand their ground could still be heard. Heard and ignored.
The residents stepped on top of and over bodies of their fellow dead soldiers as they clambered in a mad panic back into the vehicles they had stormed in with. Forced to follow suit, The Governor vanished from their sight into the front seat of his Ford Excursion and tore away from the prison. Smoke hung in the air, intertwining with the dust from the dirt and while the cloud settled, the aftermath of the fleeting assault lay at their feet. The bodies of men and women alike lay face down on the asphalt, bullet casings sprinkled around them like confetti. The matter of their inevitable resurrection would need to be seen to before it could occur.
"You guys go!" Glenn shouted from the gangway overhead, "We'll take care of this."
Rick looked up at Glenn and Maggie, a united front, and gave them a determined nod. Tess squinted through the sun as she peered up at them, almost finding herself laughing at Glenn's face squished into the riot helmet. Her rifle hung low on her right side and she raised her other hand to shield her face but the stinging pain in her left shoulder made her stop. She hadn't had the chance yet to get Hershel to stitch her up.
"You okay?" Michonne asked her quietly, noticing her falter.
"Yeah." Tess nodded like it was nothing, "Just a pinch, it's fine." Michonne looked skeptical but didn't question her again.
They restocked themselves with ammo before heading out on foot in pursuit of The Governor, Daryl leading the way.
—
It was mid-afternoon by the time they finally caught up to the convoy. Or at least, what was left of it. The abandoned caravan, sans tan Ford Explorer, was now an open air graveyard - those who had survived the ambush at the prison were now dead on the tarmac, face down and shot in the back. The bodies lay on top of one another like they had attempted to run away and it painted a clear picture of what had happened - The Governor had executed his own people for desertion and carried on elsewhere. It was a harrowing sight.
Tess tip-toed around the bodies, checking to see if anyone was still alive but their faces frozen in fear and lifeless eyes told her that they were all certainly dead. Chills ran down her spine and the familiar creeping sensation of panic and fear wove its way through her chest, forcing her to cover her eyes. The sheer amount of senseless murder was becoming too much to bear.
As she focused on not getting caught up in the effects of her trauma, she felt a hand on her wrist. Not pulling, just holding. It was a warm, calloused hand that she'd recognize anywhere. Until she opened her eyes, he remained staring at the road ahead, ever watchful.
"You here?" He asked her, without judgment.
"I'm here." She assured him after a moment of careful silence while she swallowed back the knot in her throat. It was only then that he let go.
"He must be going back to Woodbury." Rick surmised after returning from the other side of the convoy. "We can-"
He was cut off by the sound of something slamming into glass and they all spun, weapons raised, to face a woman in the cab of one of the abandoned trucks. Her empty hands were raised to show she was unarmed and her ashen face peeked through the glass, terrified. Daryl was the first to reach the door and he guided the woman out of the truck slowly, his gun following her as she stepped down from the vehicle.
"I'm unarmed!" She proclaimed, her voice wavering as she spoke.
"What happened here?" Rick demanded as the woman was backed up against the truck.
"W-we tried to leave. We didn't even want to fight! H-He killed them all…" Her lip trembled as she looked down at her dead friends and Tess started to feel sorry for her. She was caught up in a fight that wasn't hers, all because she'd put her faith in the wrong person.
"Where's The Governor now?" Growled Rick, as if she would have any idea.
"I don't know. Please, I'm telling you the truth." Her hands trembled as she held them by her head.
"What's your name?" Tess asked, lowering her gun and stepping forward before Rick could continue interrogating her.
"Karen."
"We're not gonna hurt you, Karen. My name's Tess. How many people are there left at Woodbury?"
"I- I don't know. Maybe thirty."
"Anyone armed?"
"Just the people on the wall."
"You know them?" Karen shrugged. "They know you?" Karen gave her a half shrug and a feeble nod.
"I guess."
"Good. You're going to get them to let us in."
—
In the pitch black of night, they cautiously followed Karen back to Woodbury. There was a kind of unspoken agreement between her and them that confirmed that they were all on the same side now. After what The Governor had done to his people, her friends, Karen couldn't go on defending him. She knew better than to try to get the better of the four survivors from the prison behind her. The two men and two women, of which she'd only learnt one name, were a force to be reckoned with and she wouldn't stand a chance trying to fend off just one of them, let alone all four.
The one with the red hair and expressive eyes had shown Karen a sense of humanity that The Governor had assured them that they didn't have. The prison people weren't ruthless psychos, killing for the hell of it. They were just people defending their home and their loved ones, like any sane person would. The stories, the fear, the fighting… it made Karen question it all.
Tess was pondering over similar thoughts. There was no guarantee that The Governor would have returned to Woodbury. It would be the obvious choice and therefore, the choice you wouldn't make. If he wasn't there, if he just disappeared like smoke in air, then what was the point of it all? The idea of not finding him beyond the walls didn't sit well with her and she knew it would become a problem for her if she couldn't get that assurance of safety. People like him, they didn't just stop and people like her, wouldn't stop either.
The bright waypoint of the aloft searchlight lit up the road in front of them as they approached the walls to Woodbury. Tess could see the faint outlines of two people on the wall. This side looked different at night, it made Woodbury look much more like a compound. Maybe things had been enhanced since Merle had brought them here all those weeks ago. Karen looked back at them all, as if asking for permission to continue forward and Rick nodded at her. She walked a few paces ahead of them, waiting for the people on the wall to recognize her. The gunshot that hit the ground behind her made them all freeze.
"Tyreese! It's me! Dont-"
"Get down!" Another woman's voice shouted from the wall as whoever held the gun lined up another shot.
"Karen! Karen, are you okay?" The man, Tyreese, asked urgently.
"I'm fine!"
"Where's The Governor?"
"He fired on everyone. He killed them all."
"What are they doing here?" The woman with coarse black hair pulled tightly back into a bun demanded to know. She sounded distrustful and angry, more so than what Tess had been expecting.
"They saved me, Sasha. They're here to help."
"Suddenly they want to help now?" She sneered and Tyreese scolded her in the way only a brother could - a way in which she ignored how only a sister would.
Tess frowned as she looked over at Rick, uncertain as to why he looked so guilty. Something had happened that she'd missed. She kept waiting for him to budge, to say something to appease the angry woman on the wall but he didn't.
"Whatever happened before is the past. Our mistakes can just be that, mistakes. The Governor's gone." Tess called out, "Sasha, Tyrese, you can stay here and try to make it on your own but what we're offering you is safety in numbers. We all want the same thing - to be safe."
"The Governor offered us the same thing. Why should we believe you?"
"I can't make you believe me. I wouldn't expect you to. You don't know me. Andrea Harrison was with us once, you can ask her."
"Andrea's not here." Karen interjected, puzzled. "She left for the prison before we did?"
"We never saw her at the prison?"
"She could still be here." Michonne suggested darkly.
Tess' stomach lurched - the reminder of The Governor's proclivity for hostages making her fall silent. She hadn't forgotten, there was no way she could but she'd become so focused on the task at hand that the memory of what had happened and the thought of what could be beyond the walls in front of her hadn't reached her yet. But it had now. Now, she was almost afraid to step foot into Woodbury again. Sometime during her silent interlude, the gates were opened. Diffident and reticent, she followed the others into Woodbury, Rick and Daryl leading the way.
"This is where we found Glenn and Maggie." Rick told her when they entered what looked like interrogation rooms. They were dark and dank and felt about as welcoming as her own confines had been.
"The Governor held people here?" A shocked Tyrese whispered.
"He did more than hold them." Daryl angrily muttered in reply. Tess could feel his eyes on her and she intentionally looked away, not wanting to deal with the confrontation of anyone's concern right now.
At the end of the hallway, the very last door they opened, they found Andrea. In the small, dimly lit square of a room, she sat huddled against the back wall; Milton Mamet's dead corpse lying just feet from her. Michonne and Rick rushed to her side and Tess stood with Daryl in the doorway. Andrea had a distinct bite mark on her left shoulder and her face and neck were covered with blood. They were too late for her. Whatever chance they may have had was long gone.
She couldn't stand there and watch Andrea die. She stepped backward out of the room and sought the solitude of the empty street, passing Tyrese and Sasha without acknowledging their curious looks. Tess sat on the curb under the night sky, elbows on her knees and her hands clutching the back of her head. She had never had much of an amicable relationship with Andrea but she didn't deserve this, Tess certainly didn't wish it upon her. The only saving grace, she supposed, was that they had found her before she died. That way, she could do just that, die. Die and not come back as the thing they all hated most.
That was really all they could hope for these days. It ate her up inside that she hadn't been able to provide that same solace for Marcus. She continued to let her fear get the better of her time and time again. She'd had the time, she could've found the means but the dread and terror of doing what was needed of her made her succumb to inaction. Tess felt like a coward and a fraud. When it really came down to doing what was necessary, she never seemed to be able to do it.
She felt like a tangled mess of failed ventures and incompletes. There was very little about her that felt whole anymore. In moments, she found pieces but during the in-between, she was an expansive void and nothing seemed to fill it. Killing Martinez was meant to be her completion. It was supposed to be the catharsis she thought she needed to feel whole again. Yet, whatever retribution she had wrought, failed to heal the wounds left behind by the people she'd lost. Nate and Marcus - she had blamed Martinez for their deaths. But maybe the only person she had to blame was herself?
"You alright?" Tess heard Sasha ask, sounding somewhat reluctant, like she hadn't really wanted to ask. Tess cleared her throat and nodded.
"There's something I gotta do." She replied, getting to her feet and walking away, across the courtyard.
—
Daryl waited in the halls of the holding cells with Tyrese and Rick as they waited for Andrea's end. Michonne had insisted on staying by her side. His mind was in two places - reeling with grief as they lost yet another person from their original company and consumed with worry as he fought back the urge to track Tess down. He knew she didn't want to be here, he could see it on her face. Removing herself from the situation had been the best thing for her. It was for a show of solidarity that he had stayed. It was only when the final bullet was fired that he left.
Outside, he found Sasha sitting on the pavement.
"You seen Tess?" He asked and she raised her eyebrows at him in surprise.
"She went that way." Sasha pointed across the way," Said she had something she needed to do."
Daryl had a suspicion that he knew what it was Tess was doing and he didn't want to let her do it alone. Sasha's peculiar expression followed him as he walked away in search of her.
—
The front windows were still shattered but the glass had been cleaned up. In their place were shoddily laid wooden boards. The front door was locked and Tess ran her fingers over the splintered wood from where bullets had pierced it. She didn't know what she expected to find inside but she couldn't stop herself from going in to see. She lay her rifle down against the door and stripped one of the boards from the window frame before ducking through.
Without all the chaos, Tess noticed the building was home to a small salon. One that looked like it hadn't been used in long while. The candy striped pole that once spun red, white and blue, now hung stationary on the wall. Knowing what room rested beneath the floorboards left her feeling like she was standing in Sweeney Todd's barbershop. She looked over at the stairs to her left that led into the pitch black and felt herself being drawn down into it. There were less steps than she remembered. Making it up last time had been far more difficult in her compromised condition.
At the bottom of the stairwell, a pull cord for the overhead light dangled above her and she glanced up at it before peering into the darkness in front of her. The basement stank but she couldn't remember how it had smelt before, the only thing she recognized was the monotonous dink of water hitting metal as the drain pipe still leaked. With trembling fingers she reached up for the cord and tugged. The light crackled and flickered on. The glass outside may have been cleared away and the gaps boarded up but down here, it was untouched. Completely.
Tess had to grip the doorway to stop herself from falling over. The sound of her pulse flooded her ears as her eyes fixated on the floor in front of her. Everything was exactly as she left it, the only thing missing was the Woodbury soldier, which no doubt had left by its own volition. She couldn't look away. Marcus' body was a shadow of his former self and it enraged her that he had just been left there to rot. Her anger and pain were so loud that she didn't even hear Daryl calling her name from the top of the stairs.
The smell suddenly didn't bother her anymore as she stepped inside. Her unsteady legs only carried her a couple feet before giving out beneath her and she collapsed in a painful mess on the ground. She didn't even recognize at what point she began to be held as she properly mourned her friend for the first time. Tess wept until her sobs turned dry and haggard and she allowed herself to fall into Daryl. The wretched ache of her chest made it difficult to breath and her stifling chokes finally left her forcing herself to calm down lest she suffocate completely.
"I can't leave him here." She stammered, breathless and heartbroken.
"I know." Daryl assured her as he helped her to her feet. He guided her out of the room and up the stairs, leaving her sitting on one of the stools.
"Wait here." He instructed and left briefly, returning shortly thereafter with a mound of white sheet.
Daryl made the journey back downstairs alone, honoring Tess' wishes and swathing Marcus' body in the white sheets he'd found from one of the nearby homes. He carried him upstairs, the body disconcertingly light and found Tess waiting for him outside. She kept her eyes on the ground but Daryl could still see the odd tear trickle out, each one like a deft blow to the stomach.
While the others ushered the people of Woodbury into a rusted, yellow school bus, Tess followed Daryl to a 1997 Jeep Wrangler TJ that was sitting empty. On the drive back to the prison, Tess sat in the back, cradling the shape of Marcus' head in her lap. Daryl regularly found himself watching her through the rearview mirror. She looked despondent, broken and he didn't know what to do.
They buried Marcus and Andrea that morning. Their bodies laid to rest alongside Lori, T-Dog, Axel and Oscar. Wherever they went, a graveyard seemed to grow. The new residents from Woodbury bid farewell to Andrea and watched on as the rest made peace with their loss of another they didn't know - all they knew was they had died under their roof.
As people began to depart to aid the new settlers, Tess lingered behind with Daryl by her side. She had so many things she wanted to say but none of it felt like enough. What good was apologizing to someone if they couldn't hear it? What kind of worthy apology could she even muster anyway? None of it was good enough. Not her reasons, not her excuses or regrets. It was all too little, too late and there was nothing she could say or do to make any of it right.
"I thought it would make me feel better," Tess muttered and Daryl looked down at her, "Killing Martinez. But it didn't. I keep feeling like… I'm the one to blame."
"None of this is your fault."
"Then why do I feel like this?"
Tess stared up at him, begging him to give her the answers she so desperately needed. The hopeless look on her face was unlike anything he'd seen from her before. It made him worry and for the first time in his life, it didn't matter to him about being seen to care or whatever animosity was still between them. He pulled her into him because it felt necessary - for him and for her.