Chapter 42 - The Straight & Narrow

The Prison

The following few days were tough for everyone. It took longer than expected for them to repair the damage done by The Governor and although they had more hands, those hands were inexperienced and apprehensive. Slowly, the rubble was cleared and the fences repaired and over time, further improvements were made. The prison became better fortified, the front entrance barricaded to prevent walkers and any other unwanted company from entering their home. Gradually, they built their fortress in an effort to keep them all protected.

Eventually, Tess stopped allowing her grief to appear. Day to day, she became a better, more productive member of their community but deep down she knew something was still missing. Fulfillment remained just out of reach and for as long as she could, she did her best to ignore it; until one day it all came to a head.

"You're paranoid." Michonne told her when they were out on a run one stiflingly hot day.

"Please don't tell me I'm paranoid. We don't know if he's dead, we just hope and hope's done jack-shit for us. People like him don't just stop. Until I know that he's gone for good, then I can't just stop worrying."

"What makes you think we'll even find him?"

"I don't know… I just want to make sure we find him before he finds us."

Michonne considered her words for no more than a minute before agreeing. From that day on, they regularly went out scouting for The Governor, even though every time they returned unsuccessful. It was as if he had disappeared off the face of the earth. Maybe he had. Maybe he had fallen victim to some destitute vagrants or become lunch for a herd of the undead. Tess had never been particularly superstitious or spiritual but she just had a feeling that none of that was the case. The Governor was out there somewhere, alive and still breathing. He was out there and he'd be trying his darndest to get back at them.

When she wasn't off scouting with Michonne, Tess was helping Rick and Hershel tend to the growing garden or going on supply runs. Daryl hunted mostly on his own now. Sometimes Rick would join him but Daryl was the only one with a bow and the most adept tracker of them all, so it made sense for him to go out on his own. Some hunts had him out overnight and it wasn't unusual to see him return the following morning with a buck over his shoulder or a string of rabbits in his hand. Tess hadn't quite gotten used to the worry that arose every time that he didn't come home in the evening. Finding sleep those nights proved harder than the rest, otherwise it was becoming easier to sleep nowadays. Exhaustion was the main factor there.

Things between them had become easier. Tess found herself allowing Daryl back into her life soon after the conflict with The Governor. She was still nervous about pursuing anything further and they never spoke about what happened between them back at Woodbury. Tess could tell Daryl was still trying to earn her forgiveness, even though she had long since stopped expecting him to prove himself. He didn't need to. She saw now that he knew where he wanted to be and that the people that he cared about included all of them.
Merle had continued on with them at the prison too. After what had happened at the feed store, even Glenn had eventually come round to the idea that perhaps Merle wasn't a completely lost soul. He still remained out of action - his hand was going to take time to heal and even then, he would require some rehabilitation time in order to function normally again. Hershel, Carol, Tess and sometimes Daryl took care to help with his rehab. Daryl often didn't last too long in his brother's presence though and generally ended up storming away.

Merle never brought up either of the admissions Tess had confessed to on the road. She often wondered if he remembered or not, as it seemed unlike him to not make mention of it for his own twisted satisfaction. Although some of the people from Woodbury felt hesitant about Merle's presence at the prison (they knew what role he'd played for The Governor after all), for the sake of peace and prosperity, they didn't make an issue of it. All in all, things were relatively content and the slow life became their new normal.

Tess enjoyed tending to the plants in their new garden in the early morning before the sun got too high and too hot. She was kneeling in the dirt now, sowing new seed potatoes and cultivating their crops, completely at ease. She liked the way the dirt felt against her bare hands and the gratification she got from successfully growing something. It was a nice change of pace.

"How are the plants doing this morning?" Hershel called out to her as he hobbled his way up the field. He'd been the one to show her and Rick how to best care for the plants and they often chatted together in the early morning like this about their growing community.

"They're looking good. Growing. I thought I'd get started on planting those potatoes." Tess replied, dusting her hands off on her knees as she got to her feet.

"Good idea. They'll like the warmth."

"You're up early." She pointed out. The sun hadn't long since risen.

"The ol' leg still gives me some bother now and again." Hershel told her and Tess nodded in understanding.

Phantom limb syndrome was something she'd come across a few times with others from the forces. It made no sense to her how the mind could play tricks on you like that and it wasn't something she'd wish upon anybody. It was the first time Hershel had ever brought it up too.

"I never would have thought you'd have such a green thumb." Hershel jested lightheartedly, admiring the budding crops.

"I enjoy it." Tess smiled. "I like plants. I lived on a farm once, a long time ago. One of the group homes. It was smaller than yours was but I remember it being my favorite place I'd ever stayed."

"A farm is the best place for a child to grow up. But I'm biased of course." He gave her a gentle smile and she laughed.

"Hopefully we can do that for these kids."

"A grandchild would be nice." Hershel mused and Tess laughed a bit harder.

"Don't let Maggie hear you say that. I don't know if she's ready for that just yet."

"No, you're probably right." Hershel chuckled at himself good-naturedly. "There's still plenty of time for that."

"How have you been sleeping?" He asked her after a short bout of silence.

"Better. Mostly." Tess shrugged, "Some nights are easier than others."

Hershel hadn't failed to notice that nearly all of the mornings where Tess had risen early to tend to the garden were the mornings where Daryl hadn't returned from his hunts during the evenings. It clearly worried her when he was gone overnight and although she may try to mask it as just another restless night, it didn't take much to see through it. Hershel smiled at her tenderly as she knelt again, resuming her digging.

Tess worked quietly while the sun rose and Hershel sat nearby on a wooden stool, watching the colors change in the sky as daylight broke. More people began to spill out of the prison with the dawn of the new day and Tess waved to the few that called out good morning. The longer that she spent working in the field and the stronger the rays of the sun became, the more anxious she grew as she waited for Daryl to return.

By the time breakfast was being served, Hershel had to all but order her to leave the garden to eat. Her stomach was rumbling at this point and despite her initial protests, she couldn't deny she was hungry. Together, they walked back up to the prison where one of the ex-Woodbury residents, Linda, was serving food. She was a short, older woman with graying hair and sparkling green eyes. She always had a warm smile on her face and if Tess had to guess, she'd think she was likely the type of woman that had always found a way to sneak her grandchildren money. She was also the type of woman who had very traditional ideas of what men and women were expected to do.

"Tess, dear, your nails are shocking." Linda complained when she handed over a plate of food. "You could at least wear gloves."

"I'll try to remember that next time." Tess replied, entertaining the idea, despite knowing she almost definitely wouldn't.

She felt Hershel whack her on the leg with his crutch under the table and she jumped away as he shooed her along. He knew she was lying and disapproved. Tess shuffled away to an empty table, looking back over her shoulder as Hershel stayed to chat with Linda. This morning's breakfast consisted of powdered eggs and Chef Boyardee Beefaroni. It was probably her least favorite meal of the day but they could only stretch out their fresh meat so far. She ate it all regardless; she needed to. It had been a long time since she'd been as thin as she was now.

Her breakfast disappeared slowly and with it, people came and went from her table. She spoke to most of the newcomers amicably - about how they were settling in, if they needed anything, and how nice the weather was today. With her friends from the original group, she spoke with them about more serious matters - what work still needed to be done around the prison, how well food was being rationed and when they would next need to make a big run, how her and Michonne's hunt was going for The Governor and how they should go about delegating the work that needed doing.

Rick was no longer solely in charge now. He'd taken a step back from leadership and it had been for his own good. Democracy was alive and well again. Herself and Hershel, Glenn, Carol, Daryl and Sasha formed the council that made the decisions for their community now. Any issues that arose were discussed and solutions were planned. No one person was calling the shots on their own anymore and that meant that everyone had to check in and check out when planned. Everything was planned out to a T and if a run went longer than anticipated, then help would be organized. Thankfully they hadn't needed to do that more than once as of yet.

While Tess toyed with the final piece of pasta on her plate, she looked up to see that Daryl had returned. He had a string of rabbits over his shoulder, a hare in one hand and his crossbow in the other. She smiled and waved at him as he walked up to their makeshift kitchen, hoping that her sigh of relief hadn't been too visible. He nodded at her and dumped the dead animals near Linda, who thanked him kindly but her nose turned up at the sight of the bunnies. Daryl grabbed himself a plate of food and joined Tess at her table.

"Good morning." She greeted him, happy to see him unscathed.

"Mornin'." He replied and began tucking into his food.

"Looks like you had a successful trip." Tess commented, looking over at Linda who was shoving the rabbits out of sight with a pair of tongs.

"Sure. Ain't no deer though; tracks keep goin' cold." Daryl shrugged and she hummed in conciliatory agreement.

"That's okay. You can get Bambi another day."

"Seems to be more and more walkers out there each time I go."

"I think they're more active in the summer. More keep finding their way to the fence." Tess nodded at the pack of walkers that were wandering around the boundary. It seemed to grow every day. "We'll have a group start clearing them after breakfast."

Daryl nodded and continued to scarf down his food as politely as possible. Tess didn't care, she was too busy looking at him to really notice. His hair was getting longer and fell into his eyes now - how he didn't find that irritating, she didn't know. He looked more hardened than he had when they'd first met, if that was at all possible but his features were softer, making him less unapproachable. If she ever told him that, he'd probably have a fit. She quickly hid her growing smile and thought of something to say instead,

"You missed a really intense game of Uno last night."

"Oh yeah?" Daryl looked up at her as he cleaned his plate. "Who won?"

"Carl."

"Of course he did. The kid cheats." Daryl stated and Tess laughed. He'd lost to Carl the one time he'd deigned to play and was obviously still bitter about it.

"I don't know if you can cheat at Uno?" She teased him with a knowing smirk.

"He's doin' it somehow."

"Okay, I'll take your word for it." Carl had also beaten her a handful of times but he was much luckier than she was and it didn't deter her from playing when asked.

Tess noticed Daryl's eyes shift over her shoulder uneasily and she frowned at him, wondering what he was looking at.

"That kid's got a crush on you, I swear." Daryl commented when she started looking over her shoulder.

Tess looked around to find who he was referring to when she spotted a young boy, perhaps a bit older than Carl. He had floppy brown hair and glasses and was doing his best to avoid being spotted but she caught him looking their way. He locked eyes with her and she smiled and waved. He froze in shock after being caught but gave her a nervous smile and waved in return.

Tess had seen Patrick around before and she knew he definitely didn't have a crush on her. She turned back to Daryl, stifling a laugh.

"It's not me he has a crush on." She told him and he gave her a strange look. Patrick didn't have any family, so it made sense in her mind at least that he sought someone to look up to.

"What d'you mean?" Daryl asked, finally noticing the way Patrick turned away when he looked over.

"I think you know what I mean." She replied, finally laughing. "It's kinda cute. He looks up to you."

"Why would he look up to me?" Daryl was frowning to himself, uncertain why anyone would ever want to be like him.

"Why wouldn't he?" Tess countered, "You're a pretty good guy, Daryl Dixon."

She smiled at him warmly, her heart quickening in her chest as he scanned her face. He was looking for a smirk, or for her smile to falter, something to tell him she was joking but he found nothing. She really thought that about him. It may have been an off the cuff compliment but he was touched by it nonetheless.

"Come hunting with me tomorrow." Daryl requested. He had meant to ask, he'd been meaning to ask for a while, but his suggestion came out as more of demand because he didn't want her to say no.

Tess thought it strange that he wanted to go hunting again so quickly. He didn't normally go out day after day. She didn't have anything to hunt with either, so she didn't know how helpful she'd be. Yet, despite all that, she didn't care what his reasoning was and didn't want to say no.

"Okay, yeah sure." She nodded, trying not to seem too eager but the smile never left her face. Daryl gave her a half-smile back, glad that she hadn't questioned or denied him.

It had been a long time since the two had been alone together. As Tess thought about it now, she couldn't recall when exactly they had last gone out on their own, just the two of them. It had to have been when Judith was born, nearly two months ago now. That same night where she finally accepted that she'd fallen in love with him. Recalling that night made her start to blush and she ducked her head so that he couldn't see.

Tess nearly jumped out of her seat when the sound of something heavy being dropped on the table, thumped beside her. She gawked up at Sasha who was standing at the end of the table, a crowbar and a fire poker in her hands. She'd come to deal with the walkers at the fence. Breakfast was over.

"Which one d'ya want?" She asked Tess, giving her the option to pick. Her face was a perfect mask of stone but her eyes let on that she was laughing inside. Tess removed herself from the bench and grabbed the crowbar.

"Thanks." She acknowledged her and measured the weight of the iron bar in her hands.

"See ya later, Daryl." Sasha idly waved and Tess didn't have the chance to wrap her head around saying goodbye or waving before she had an arm looped through hers and she was being led away.

"That was a real cute moment the two of you were having." Sasha commented when they were finally out of earshot. A mischievous smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"It wasn't a moment." Tess argued, although the creeping blush that grew from beneath her shirt collar did nothing but give her away. Sasha hummed in disagreement, unconvinced.

"You two are worse than Glenn and Maggie sometimes."

"I hardly think that's true." Tess laughed as they approached the fence, joining the few that were already there.

Karen and Tyrese, who had become somewhat of an item over the past few weeks, were a few feet away from them already working on taking down the walkers. Sasha called over to her brother to get his attention and Tess waved as he and Karen greeted them both.

"So what were you two talking about anyway?" Sasha inquired while stabbing a walker's head through the fence. "You were awfully smiley."

"Is it a crime to smile now?" Tess deflected, yanking her own weapon back through the fence. If there was one thing Tess had learnt about Sasha while becoming friends is that she wasn't afraid to say or ask what was on her mind.

"No but the way you turn into some love drunk teen around him is criminal."

"You guys talking about Daryl?" Tyrese remarked nosily and Karen giggled beside him.

"No!" Tess responded adamantly while Sasha replied affirmatively at the same time. "Stay out of it Tyrese or I'll put you on latrine duty." Tess warned him, glaring daggers at the siblings.

Tyrese laughed but held his hands up in defeat, keeping his mouth shut.

"Y'know the more you deny that anything is going on, the more I think that the two of you are just jacking up in secret."

"First of all, why are you thinking about that? Second of all, no. Lastly, if you must know what we were talking about before you so rudely interrupted," Tess halted her stabbing and turned to look at Sasha, "He asked me to go hunting with him tomorrow. That's all."

Sasha, Tyrese and Karen all stopped as well. The three of them shared a look that made her uneasy.

"What?" Tess asked sharply.

"That's all, you reckon?" Sasha smirked.

"That's all." Tess reiterated. "We'll leave in the morning and be back before it gets dark. I promise you, that is all we will be doing."

Her heart was pounding so fast in her chest that she thought that they surely must've been able to hear it. Of course it had crossed her mind that being alone with Daryl would be the perfect opportunity for something more to happen. She wasn't cold-blooded after all. However, she couldn't imagine him trying to make any kind of move and she doubted that she'd have the guts to do anything either. Not only that but she still had her concerns about being abandoned again. They were deeply welded into her and try as she might, she couldn't just forget.

"Anyone that says anything more about it will be shoveling shit for the rest of the week, understood?" Tess resolutely cautioned them all and with that they finally let it lie.

—

They spent most of the morning clearing the walkers away from the fence and Tess' arms and shoulders were heavy with fatigue when they finally stopped. They were each responsible for cleaning and returning their own weapons to the cache and Tess made quick work of wiping down the crowbar before going to fetch herself some water.

The kids that had been playing outside had now been called in for reading time with Carol and it was quiet in the yard. Maggie, Glenn and Michonne had gone out on a run a bit earlier and had taken a couple of the newcomers with them too. Tess spied Rick and Carl in the field, building a pen for livestock. Hershel was with them, making suggestions on how best to lay out the enclosure. She smiled fondly at the normalcy of it all.

Inside, Tess found Beth playing with Judith - the amount of toys that child had now almost surpassed the number of books there were in the library. She was well loved and taken care of by all. Finding formula for her was proving harder nowadays but thankfully it seemed to be a rarely sought after commodity, so when they did find some, they found plenty. Tess ruffled Judith's small tufts of blonde hair affectionately and said hello to Beth as she went into the living quarters to find Merle.

In typical Merle fashion, he made rehab much more difficult than it needed to be. He refused to heed the majority of Hershel's medical advice and he made it challenging for anyone that tried to help him. Carol had the patience of a saint when she wanted to and never let on that it bothered her. Hershel only tolerated his crap for so long before scolding him with an earful of wisdom. Daryl usually ended up telling his brother to go fuck himself, or something to that effect. Tess tried to balance somewhere along the lines of all three.

There had definitely been times where she'd given up and walked out, or told Merle to stop behaving like such a child otherwise they'd start giving him his meals in Judith's baby bottles. He hadn't been left overly impressed by that threat. Sometimes Tess gave up on their rehab session but stuck around just to try to talk to him. She did worry that his isolation would only make him more of a recluse and pariah, so she felt the need to nurture whatever social interaction she could get from him. Today would be one of those days.

"How's the hand today, Merle?" Tess asked after finding him in his cell. He now lived upstairs in Cell Block C, at the opposite end of the stairs.

"Which one? They're both about as useless as tits on flies." Merle grunted and Tess rolled her eyes.

"Lovely. We could amputate the whole thing for ya' if you'd like? Might make it a bit difficult to wipe though I imagine."

"You're real funny."

"Someone's gotta be. What do you say we go apply ourselves in the real world today?" She suggested, hoping that if she got him outside, he'd been in less of a funk.

"Do I have a choice?" He muttered petulantly.

"Well I'm not going to drag you out by your ear or anything if that's what you're asking. I would like it if you came with me though."

Despite Merle's dramatics, she knew he was growing bored of his sedentary lifestyle. Tess continued to stare at him from the doorway as he made up his mind. She found that if you played Merle at his own game, insults and mockery, he tended to be more inclined to cooperate. It seemed to be the only way he knew how to function and she was more than willing to participate - it was kind of fun. Finally, he huffed and got to his feet.

"Fine. If it'll keep ya' from buggin' me, I'll go."

"I love your enthusiasm." Tess drawled with faux excitement. She pushed herself away from the door frame and began to lead Merle downstairs.

Beth was still in the common room and she smiled at them both cordially as they entered the room.

"We'll be out back if anyone needs us." Tess told her and continued on outside. She planned to take Merle to the far end of the prison where people didn't tend to frequent in hopes that he wouldn't feel the need to act up in the view of others. Dealing with Merle was starting to feel a lot like handling a child with poor behavior. Good thing, she knew all about that.

They stayed on the opposite side of Cell Block E where the administration building had collapsed. They hadn't done anything to clear away the rubble there, so it was still precarious to traverse. The council deemed it off limits to ensure everyone remained safe.

Fewer walkers congregated at the back of the prison - it wasn't so noisy back here. Tess and Merle watched them stumble about as they neared the fence. The sound of their feet crunching in the gravel drew their attention and before long the walkers were pressing themselves into the fence and pawing at the air. Tess reached down for her knife and offered it over to Merle.

"Have at it." She prompted him and he accepted it without fuss. "If you're lucky, I'll let you have the gun later."

Merle bit his tongue and stalked up to the fence while Tess took a seat on a plastic chair that had been brought around previously. Tess observed patiently as she lounged in the shade. Merle made a few fumbled attempts to stab the walkers - his already less proficient left hand now struggling even more to keep hold of the knife. She could see that his frustration was beginning to get the better of him and his strikes became sloppy and erratic.

Tess watched for a few more minutes not saying anything until Merle dropped the knife and was forced to stumble back from the fence. She rose to her feet then and intervened before Merle could really lose his cool. Her boot dropped over the knife before Merle could pick it back up again and she dragged it underfoot towards her.

"You can't keep getting angry just because it's hard." Tess reprimanded him and stored the knife back into its sheath.

"Why the hell not? You try havin' half a hand and see how you feel." Merle sneered at her unkindly.

"Because your anger gets the better of you and you get sloppy." She replied, ignoring his jibe.

"Real rich comin' from you, talkin' 'bout anger."

"Sure, maybe. I don't have to worry about losing my grip though."

Tess knew she was taunting Merle at this point and she certainly wasn't helping to diffuse whatever anger was currently brewing inside him. Coddling him wasn't going to do anything though. Merle only knew hostility and strength, it was the code he lived by. If she couldn't challenge him then she had no chance working with him.

"Ain't nobody ever talk back to me like you do. You got some kinda desire to get hit or somethin'? I ain't no woman-beater but you're pushin' me."

"It's really easy to get on your nerves, y'know that? I'm just returning what it is you're giving out. If you can't take it, maybe you should reassess yourself."

"Reassess myself? Girlie, I'm self-assured as fuck."

"I'm no shrink but I'm sensing a lot of repressed anger."

"You gonna psychoanalyze me now too? Wanna talk about my childhood? 'Bout my parents, like some Fruedian bitch? Nah, let me guess, you know all about that already don't you?"

Tess had pushed her luck now and before she could open her mouth to argue, Merle was already on the warpath.

"Let's talk about you, yeah. What would someone like you know about someone like me, huh? I bet you never had so much as a goddamn disagreement in your white picket fence household. Nobody screamin' at you cause you didn't hand over a beer fast enough. Nobody puttin' cigarettes out on you just for fun. What was the hardest thing you ever had to deal with in your life, hmm? Puberty? Gettin' a fuckin' B on your SATs? I'd been in and out of Juvie more times than you'd ever had your parents yell at you.

"Bet you played some fuckin' stupid instrument like the violin cause what else do the privileged upper-middle class do? Bet you never had to want for nothin'. Struggle for nothin'. You had it so easy that it left you feelin' like you had somethin' to prove. You ain't just some simple minded bimbo, no sir. What better way to prove yourself than voluntary institutionalization. Bet you thought you was real tough then, huh?"

All Tess could do was blink at him. Her shoulders heaved and her heart pounded in her chest as she tried to breathe through the anxiety that was rising in her chest. Merle could indeed be intimidating when he wanted to be and the involuntary panic that riddled her body now had been caused by the force of his words, not their context. He was trying to hurt her, make her feel small and insignificant but she refused to let him think she was anything like the person he'd just described.

"Are you done?" She bit back at him fiercely and he scoffed at her, like he'd quite happily say more. "I'm gonna say my piece now and you're gonna shut the fuck up. I don't know anything about what your life was like, I don't. I've never asked Daryl and he's never brought it up. And you sure as shit don't know what my life was like either. Whatever picture you have painted for me in that warped reality of yours is so far from the truth that it's a joke.

"You think your family life was hard? Sure, maybe it was. I bet your dad was a low-life piece of shit judging by what you're like. Bet your mother was pretty absent too and I'm sure it must've really sucked growin' up with a family like that. But you had a family. You had Daryl. I never had any of that. No white picket fence, no fuckin' trailer to call home. I was lucky if I had a roof and I was damned lucky if I got to live with people that didn't try to steal my shit.

"I never had cigarettes put out on me and I never had to deal with alcoholism but you bet your ass I had my fair share of beatings as a kid. I never heard my parents argue, no, you got that right. I also never met them. I don't know what they look like or what their names are. Hell, my own fuckin' name isn't theirs. Theresa? Some nun came up with that one. Maybe that's why I'm such a cynic when it comes to religion?

"You think I was some upper-middle class brat? I was white trash through and through, same as you. I just decided to do something more for myself rather than turn into some junkie with vendetta against the world. But it happened anyway. Can't outrun fate, huh? We aren't that different, you and I.

"I am your only friend here. Next time you wanna start talking shit, you best be willing to throw hands cause I'll put you in the dirt."

Tess seethed, catching her breath after her tirade. She felt like she was a hundred feet tall, looming above him, by the way Merle stepped back during her outburst. She could see him processing what she had told, after breaking apart every idea he had formed around her. He eyed her contentiously and she waited for whatever snarky remark he was about to throw her way.

Instead, he walked past her and sat down in the plastic chair in the shade.

"You're awful scary when you want to be, Red." Merle muttered, stretching out leisurely. Tess let out a shuddering breath and shook her head in astonishment. Just like that, he was back to normal again. Tess took a seat on the ground, wearily scratching her brow like none of that had just happened.

"Years of practice." She replied, idly picking up stones and Merle laughed.

"That's fucked up about your folks." He mentioned after a short while. Tess peered at him through the glare of the sun. Was this some sort of gesture of peace?

"Yours too." She told him while throwing the rocks to land between them. "Some people just aren't cut out to be parents."

"You got that right. You got them right too. To a fuckin' T. My old man was a piece of shit. I ain't got no good memories of that asshole. He always wore the same belt. Brown, leather, buckle made of steel. I remember the buckle the most. I used to think I was gonna kill him one day, 'cept I skipped out instead. Skipped out on Daryl too of course. I was never a good brother. I knew that then too."

"Why are you telling me this…?" Tess asked hesitantly. It wasn't like Merle to divulge into his personal life at all and it surprised her how forthcoming he was suddenly being - it was the most she'd ever learnt about his and Daryl's lives growing up. Merle leant forward in his chair and she sat upright and at attention.

"Cause what you said to me in Woodbury, you were right about that too. He's better off without me. You should'a let me die."

"I don't believe that." Tess disagreed, shaking her head. "Not really. You're all he has left and being alone is… lonely. Just because you've let him down in the past doesn't mean you will in the future. That's up to you."

"You really meant it, huh?" Merle pondered conclusively.

"What's that?" Tess wondered uncertainly.

"What you said on the side of the road." He reminded her and her heart leapt into her throat. There was no point lying, he'd only see right through her.

"I did. I do." Tess confirmed, rising from the ground and dusting herself off. "Nothing that's happened has changed that. Though, I can't say I didn't try. By the way, fuck you for all that."

A thin smile stretched across Merle's face and a mischievous glint sparkled in his eye as he rose alongside her.

"Only if you're quick about it." He grinned humorously and Tess' nose scrunched up in disgust.

"God, you can't help yourself can you? What are you, sixteen?" She complained and started walking away from him, back to the front of the prison. Merle trailed after her, laughing to himself happily.

—

The afternoon came around quickly - Glenn, Maggie and Michonne had returned with the others shortly after midday and they had all been surprised to see Maggie riding in bareback on a tall, chestnut colored horse. They'd come across it alone in a field and rather than let it become food for the undead, they decided it would be better off serving them. Beth was most excited of all to see the new edition to their growing farm and, after much consideration, dubbed her Flame.

Tess didn't see much of Daryl for the rest of the day and while she'd normally be left disappointed by that, today she was grateful. Her conversation with Merle kept playing on a loop in her brain. She was still a bit flustered by the whole thing, while Merle was busy behaving like it never happened. She'd learnt more about Daryl and his history in those few minutes than she had in an entire year. None of it had surprised her too much, she had after all seen the scars on his back and his behavior spoke volumes, but to hear it from the horse's mouth was something else.

His every defense, every quirk and flaw made sense to her now; Merle's too. Circumstances like those would make anyone build a wall ten feet high. Knowing what she knew now, any resentment or uncertainty she still held onto was released. She could no longer blame him for choosing Merle over them, over her. However toxic their relationship was, it was still the only safe and moderately healthy relationship Daryl had ever known; of course he had to follow his brother.

Tess considered what Merle had told her about their parents. She knew it was likely only the tip of a very big iceberg and it would be a precarious place to tread. Part of her wanted to know more but there was no way she'd ever ask Daryl about it and she highly doubted Merle would ever open up about it again. It was her one and only glimpse into the Dixon household that she thought she'd ever get.

It dawned on her that it was unlikely that Daryl would be too pleased that she'd learned all of this from his brother. Even less so if he found out that she knew and had kept it from him. She didn't like the idea of keeping it a secret from him either but the thought of raising the conversation only filled her with dread. In her head, it only went one of two ways - one: he'd shut down and pull away from her, or two: he'd get angry and push her away. Neither of those things she wanted.

So, her conundrum now was: did she deal with that now or later?

She was nervous about tomorrow now. A different kind of nervous than she had been earlier. Then, she'd been excited and perhaps a little hopeful, especially after talking to Sasha, Tyrese and Karen, even if they had only been teasing her. That wasn't so much the case at the moment however. Presently, her heart fluttered in her chest with anxious panic. Could she spend the day with him and pretend she hadn't heard anything? No, that didn't sit right with her. She had to say something. If the shoe was on the other foot, she'd want to know, the least she could do was extend Daryl the same courtesy.

The sound of his voice calling to her nearly made her jump out of her skin.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." Daryl frowned at her from the doorway of her cell.

"No, that's okay, I was elsewhere." Tess shook her head and tried to settle her thrashing heart. "What's up?"

"I talked to the others about tomorrow. I reckon we leave first thing if you're up for it? We can be back before it gets dark."

"Sure, yeah that sounds good." Tess tried to form a smile but it was shaky and crooked and unconvincing.

"You sure? If you don't wanna go-"

"No, I'm sure! Really. Sorry, my mind's just elsewhere right now." She tried to explain but Daryl still looked hesitant.

"Okay. Well, uh, see you tomorrow then."

Daryl awkwardly turned to leave and she jumped to her feet without a second thought as to why. He stopped and stared at her, bewildered and all she could say was,

"Goodnight, Daryl."

He blinked. His furrowed brow softened and he stood squarely to face her. His eyes scanned down and back up her, like he was reading all the unspoken words on her skin and she felt a shiver run down her spine.

"G'night." He told her and left her standing there, dazed and confused.