Updating a little early 'cuz you all deserve it and I'm so excited for this chapter lalala
Thank you to those that continue to review, you all are the real MPVs: Guest, Guest, Serpent818, Guest (May 18th), Ava, and jleeluv14!
Guest: Super glad you like their charactarzation! I know SP's specifically is very different from other fics!
Guest: Well, it was a little early :)
Serpent818: I mean, SP is a beefy angry guy in this too, but he's so much more than that, as Betty is learning ;) Guys with no depth are just no fun
Guest (May 18th): I'm not sure you'd find the name in previous chapters. I'd say that step one is figuring out what her name is, or what it comes from. Then, from there, it's sorta like a five step process to connect how Betty equals that. Some of the things may not relate to Betty specifically other than they form a chain. It's hard to explain but once she's figured it out, it'll be clear, or so I hope :)
Ava: Yes, Arianrhod is an actual name of a 'person' (I say person very lightly, as you may figure out why) and he found it in a book
November 21st, 2018
After Betty kissed Sweet Pea, she told Veronica and Archie and Jughead first. She heard their responses. She was glad she told them.
But.. she didn't tell them, not really.
It was a weird moment, Betty sitting by the tree, speaking mostly to herself. She felt like she was telling them. She imagined that somehow, if they were still alive, they heard her.
It had been a couple weeks ago that she realized she was starting to forget Archie's voice. She couldn't bring forth the timbre of it, the way that he laughed, they way he tripped over his words when he was excited. This horrified Betty.
She had some voicemails on her phone, still saved. One from her mom, one even from her dad. None from Polly, and yes, she'd always be upset about this. She had one from Veronica, Archie, and Jughead. She even had one from Cheryl. She didn't have one from Kevin either, and that perhaps depressed her more than Polly. She would have rejoiced over a voicemail from Ethel or Moose if they had any occasion to call her, just because it would have felt like a part of her old classmates still existed. Just so that their voice was still somewhere, even if their bodies and mind were not.
She charged up her phone and laid under the tree, despite the growing cold, and just played them on repeat on speaker. She let the way they spoke invade her mind. She listened to the recordings of her loved ones so many times that she could repeat back the messages, word for word, syllable by syllable. She had played until her phone had died and needed to be recharged, until she had no more tears.
But that wasn't enough.
So, lately, she'd taken to speaking to their stones. She, at the start, had just imagined their silent responses in her mind. Or, even just their emotions to it. How when she was telling them about the new electronic she was working on, Archie would be confused, Veronica would probably find it a little boring, and Jughead would act like he knew what she was talking about just to encourage her to say more.
Now, in an effort to keep them alive, Betty went a step farther. She made herself be their voices, or their best approximation of what they might respond to, if she were telling them in real life. Sweet Pea didn't bother her by the tree, which was probably good. She would probably seem half-mad. Maybe she was half-mad, speaking for people that weren't there, making herself believe very strongly that in that moment, it wasn't her words, it was their words in her voice.
She would close her eyes, forcing herself to see them in front of her.
They were always at Riverdale High. It was inescapable. Betty had attempted to put them all in a different location, but when she wasn't thinking too hard about it, her imagination always drifted them back there. The four of them, on the couches, like they'd been so many times before. Betty, sitting next to Jughead. Archie and Veronica, across the way.
In recent times, Jughead's arm was not around her like it once was. Perhaps, all things considered, for the best. Especially, after yesterday's events.
They'd heard about it all leading up to this; about how she was sure he'd rejected her on her birthday celebration. About her growing affections. Not about the incident with the underwear. Well, only Veronica knew that, since that's something she'd absolutely tell Veronica. About...all of it.
They'd heard it all. She wasn't springing this on anyone, at least not without background. She could just come out and say it; 'I kissed Sweet Pea'.
She closed her eyes, and they were at the couches. She turned to Veronica first.
She imagined Veronica frowning, playing with her pearls, her legs daintily crossed. She was wearing a skirt and a long sleeve top, something with ruffles and a collar. Her hair was shining. She had deep burgundy lipstick on.
"Oh! Finally. I've been telling you you should just go for it," She sighed, rolling her eyes, "You know, I always found him cute, but moody isn't really my type. Apparently it's yours, though."
"V."
"I'm just saying. Not that you're replacing Jughead, god no, but you always like a good riddle. I prefer my men without subterfuge. There's enough of that in my family as it is," She said, splaying her fingers and sighing with exaggeration. Betty wasn't sure what problem was going on in the Lodge's in her mind palace, but when wasn't there something shady going on?
She turned to Archie next.
"Are you happy?" He asked, head tilted. His hair was mussed, unfixable wild. He was in just a plain t-shirt, his jeans scuffed and his shoes untied. He had a bruise from football blossoming across his cheek. Or maybe it was a fistfight. Betty hadn't decided.
"I think," Betty replied, biting her lip. Her mind was still all over the place. She hoped talking to them would help.
"Well, then I guess I can't beat him up...maybe just break his nose?"
"What? No!"
"Fine, fine," Archie laughed, "I'm gunna have to give him the 'big brother' talk, though. Or 'best guy friend'. Or whatever it is you wanna call it, but I'm gunna have it. Tell him not to ruin your virtue."
"Oh, we're long past that," Veronica purred, winking, "And besides, it's no fun if some mythical honor isn't shattered. Besides, Archibald Andrews, you're hardly one to go on about taking virtues!" She swatted his arm.
"Ronnie," He mumbled, face turning as crimson as his hair.
"I don't think it's anything," Betty chewed on her lip. If she had a pencil in her hand, she'd be chewing on that, "It was just a kiss."
"Just a kiss, oh," Veronica breathed out, "You're joking yourself, Betty."
Betty inhaled, turning to Jughead. She'd almost left him out of this. It was her mind, she could do that if she so pleased. However, it would feel like she was hiding the kiss, like she was ashamed of it. She wasn't.
In this situation, her and Jughead weren't dating. She didn't know why but they just weren't. But they were still friends. They loved each other too much not to be.
Out of the trio, she still held out hope that maybe Archie and Veronica were alive.
She knew Jughead wasn't.
She wished it was real. She wished she could reach out and inhale his flannel, touch the softness of his tshirt. She wished it was a dream, because at least then, it would feel like they weren't just projections that would flicker and reveal themselves to be fake as soon as she reached out.
Jughead was slouching, his laptop open. The 'S' shirt he owned in five different colors, all of which had been on sale at Walmart six years ago. A flannel wrapped around his waist. His serpent jacket pushed up his arms. But not his hat. As much as she wanted it there, her mental memory recalled her chucking it into the woods. Nature had his hat. He didn't anymore.
"Sweet Pea's…" Jughead started, sighing hard, "He's not the shittiest."
"Thanks," Betty scoffed.
"If you fell in love with Slash, I'd have serious concerns."
Betty smiled at him softly, warmly.
"I didn't though."
"He's still a criminal, may I remind you," Jughead's face was puckered, like it was whenever he was battling internally with himself.
"And that's maybe what's kept us alive," Betty said, nodding. She knew his past. She knew he was the ultimate example of a bad boy her mother would be horrified to find her with. It didn't matter anymore.
"Just don't be stupid," Jughead mumbled under his hand, "And, be happy."
"I'm going to try," Betty said honestly.
"Okay, okay, details!" Veronica interrupted, squealing, "Tell me exactly how this happened! I need it all. Was it a deep kiss? A short one? A bodice-ripper?"
Jughead made a sound that was nearly a choke. Archie shuddered.
"No, I don't want to know any of that!" Archie said, waving his arms.
Betty pursed his lips, shaking with laughter. She shared a look with Veronica. With a blink, she'd changed their location to just the two of them. To Veronica's bedroom, the last place they'd both been.
This is where she told Veronica every sordid detail that had happened up to a week ago. And, she'd been entirely planning on just telling V about something that happened five days ago, but hadn't the time...and then the kiss had happened.
Veronica, realizing this (even if it was by Betty's own design), lit up with excitement. She leaned forward, and if this was real, she'd probably grab Betty's hands. Instead, she offered Betty a glass of champagne. Betty wished she could actually taste it; Veronica always had really good stuff.
"This is a celebration. Now, skip no details."
Betty couldn't help but laugh.
"Yes, ma'am."
XXxxXX
November 6th, 2018
It started two weeks ago. Betty woke up before Sweet Pea, which wasn't out of the usual, but unlike every other day, she felt compelled to stay in bed, under the warm covers. The coldness that continued to roll in was uncaring, so much so that Betty was wearing socks and sweatshirts to bed nightly.
Sweet Pea was close to her. When she woke up, she could feel his hand splayed over her midriff, creeping under her hem to seek the warmth of her skin. It wasn't out of the ordinary for the pair to seek each other's hands in the middle of the night, reaching across the darkness and the chill to reassure each other of the presence. Somehow, during the night, his hand had migrated to her side. He wasn't spooning her or holding her in, his arm was stretched the length of the bed. It still was unexpected, but also a comfort.
Betty woke up facing him. She didn't want to move.
It was late enough in the day that the sun was flitting through the curtains, so maybe 8 or 9 am. The days were just growing shorter and shorter of late, which was starting to mentally mess up Betty. She knew they would continue to shorten and was already preparing herself for the long nights.
She breathed softly, careful not to wake Sweet Pea. She just watched him sleep.
He'd done this with her, so long ago when they were on the move. She hadn't really gotten a moment where she wanted to examine him sleeping, nor a time to do it properly. Not until now, anyway.
When he was sleeping, he seemed so young. It was such a cliche, she knew, but it was a lot easier to look at him and see an eighteen-year-old kid way in over his head as compared to a gang member with multiple tattoos. His hair was mussed, curled every which way, and a light shadow of stubble was growing on his jaw. Even with the beginning of facial hair, everything else about him was soft looking.
She remembered when they were both in Riverdale High together, back before she knew him at all, and she recalled he was always scowling. His face was always twisted into a frown, his arms always across his chest like he was protecting himself. Three layers; his nickname, his jacket, and finally his arms. It screamed that he wasn't letting anyone in, emotionally or otherwise, and he'd sooner stab you as a warning than offer you a hand.
He didn't scowl much anymore, Betty recanted after a second. To compare him to the surly Serpent from their past seemed so wrong. Disjointed. He felt like an entirely different person. He smiled more, he enjoyed life. He didn't have any of those protective barriers on anymore; his serpent jacket was worn only as an aid against the cold, Betty called him 'Jordan' at least once a day, and right now his arms were reaching toward Betty on the bed.
He was so different.
Jughead, she thought after a second, it reminded her of Jughead. How a boy who was also always scowling and never took off his hat somehow, around Betty, began to smile and sometimes forgot to put his hat back on. She had encouraged him to open up, just how she'd done with Sweet Pea.
It's because he loved you, a voice told her, one that sounded like Veronica.
Betty jolted back, without intending to make such a jumped movement, waking Sweet Pea. Any time she had to stare at him while he was sleeping was over.
"Mhh, we oversleep?" Sweet Pea asked, rubbing his eyes as he flopped over, running his fingers through his hair.
"Not by much," Betty whispered, her voice hoarser than it should be.
Veronica- or, really, her conscious- had been talking about Jughead. It was true that Jughead had loved her and it was also true that because of this, he'd opened up. Just because it was not a falsehood with one grumpy Serpent didn't mean it was the same for another one.
But oh, how Betty almost wished it was.
XXxxXX
After a fairly average day; chopping firewood, sorting cans, and checking their deer jerky, Betty was planning to finish the day surrounded by books.
She'd asked two more sacred questions in regards to her name, only when it became clear she was going to drown if she tried to search through all these books one by one. She had spent a long time deciding on the right things to ask, and finally, she'd whittled it down to two more questions.
Q: Is my nickname a name (that is to say, not an object or descriptive word or something)
A: Yes
Q: Is my name in a fictitious novel
A: No.
So, this told her that she was looking for a proper noun somewhere in the non-fiction and reference books scattered in their basement, where they were keeping all the things for fun/pleasure. It still was a large amount of books to sort through; two or three bookshelves worth, if they had them nicely organized instead of in semi helter-skelter piles, but it was a start. Betty had been toying with the idea of asking what nationality the name hailed from, because it's pronunciation was not English, and that would be mighty helpful for which would tell her where to begin. However, she really didn't want to play 100 shots to 100 different countries, so she needed a better way to phrase the question.
As it was, she knew when she found her name in a book, that wouldn't be the end of it. She might understand what the word actually was, but that might not even be half of it. Sweet Pea had said her name had meaning. There would be a reason why Betty was called that and she would have to suss it out. It was the end of the world, meaning that Sweet Pea could have made this as difficult as he so pleased. They had all the time anyone ever had.
She liked the mental puzzle, however, and it piqued her interest more than it frustrated her.
"You're not going to find your name in there tonight," Sweet Pea said, startling her.
"How long have you been watching me?"
"Long enough to know you're nowhere close."
Betty shut the book with a snap. Was he saying that truthfully, or trying to throw her off the trail, just for shits and giggles?
"C'mon, I have something better," Sweets said, waving a hand upstairs.
Curious, Betty abandoned her searching to follow him.
"Ta-da!"
Sweet Pea swept his hand over to the living room. Betty blinked, taking in what she was seeing. Fire in the fireplace, making the area toasty. A bowl of popcorn. Two sodas; Sprite. A little...well, it looked like a computer set up.
"Am I missing something? Are we celebrating?" Betty asked, tilting her head.
"Yeah. Being alive." Sweet Pea eagerly led her to the couch, "We might not have the food- that sort of pop and circumstance- every night, but we can have one bag of popcorn now, and this Sprite is probably flat af, but sit." He said firmly. Betty did so.
"A portable movie player," Betty choked out with slight laughter. She hadn't seen one of those in years. She recalled being very young, five or six or something, and Alice Cooper balancing one of these between the seats of the driver and shotgun seats of a car for her daughters to watch a Barbie movie.
"Rechargeable battery. I figure that if we don't use up any of our battery stock and just recharge it daily with the solar power blocks, we're golden, right?"
"Yeah, theoretically." Betty paused, then grinned, "This means we can watch T.V again!"
"Bingo!" Sweet Pea said, "And look what I found that the owner here has…" He held up a large box set in front of them.
"The Office?"
"Glad that this owner dude had a sense of humor about it." Sweet Pea said, "And he has all the season in a box set. It's all here. Betty, we can watch The Office."
"Yes, let's, yes," Betty was nodding her head in excitement, "I used to love that show…"
"Who didn't?" He rubbed his hands, "Okay, so, there's 201 episodes. If we think that winter starts now, today, basically, and we watch two episodes a night that should just about bring us to spring. Next winter, we'll find another show to watch. I mean, how many people are raiding and taking box sets of DVDs...probably not many," Sweet Pea said.
"Just two a night. That'll be a challenge."
"I know. But I believe in our willpower." Sweet Pea handed her a Sprite and hopped on the couch. Betty conservatively sat a pillow's with away from Sweet Pea. He tugged up a blanket and scoffed, "Uhm, I won't bite."
He was balancing the player on the edge of the table. It was a pretty small screen, not like the gigantic TV in front of them that Betty didn't dare use, but it was better than nothing.
"I-," Betty blushed, looking at the space that he was offering, nestled under his arm, against his chest.
"I don't think I have cooties either," He teased further, "Maybe you do though…"
"Oh, shut up," Betty grouched, crossing the couch to sit against him. He dropped his arm on the back on the couch, not so that it was around her, but still so that she was near him. She leaned back, resting her head on his extended arm.
"You going to press play?"
"Bossy, bossy," Sweets raised an eyebrow.
As the oh-so-familiar theme song cued up, Sweet Pea grinned.
"I'mma learn to play that on piano this winter."
"Good. Now shush, I'm one of those that will kill you if you talk while the episode is playing." Betty said, already engrossed.
"Betty Cooper, throwing fists over Michael Scott."
XXxxXX
November 15th, 2018
How long does it take for something to become too comfortable? To feel normal? To feel average?
For the nightly T.V. sessions with Sweets, less than two weeks. In fact, after the first week, it was in such a pattern that Betty got excited about it, and didn't feel like the day had truly ended until they watched the misadventures of Dunder Mifflin, if only for 40 minutes to end the night.
Staring to watch The Office with Sweet Pea hadn't been something that Betty felt was worth it to mention. It was just something they did for fun.
In the light of the whole story, she felt like she had to explain that to Veronica, so that she understood it all.
Five days ago was when the first trouble happened.
Betty considered the word trouble not to quite be right. Maybe 'occurrence' would be better. Or maybe Veronica would give her a better word. Unlikely, since Veronica was only a figment of her imagination.
She was getting distracted. The wording didn't matter as much as the event.
It had been, by all accounts, an average day. As average as they come. Most of the day she'd spent apart from Sweet Pea, to be honest, as he harvested some of the lingering fall crops and Betty attempted to tackle the water once again, or at least brainstormed a better way to bathe during the winter, and do so warmly.
Then, they'd retired to the couch for their two episodes, they were somewhere smack-dab in season 2. They'd laughed about the antics and discussed how Pam and Jim were obviously meant to be together, as well as discussed the magnanimous asshole that Michael had been in the first couple of seasons, before he became a better(ish) person.
Then they went to bed.
That was the trouble.
Betty's dreams tonight took her no further than her own bed. In fact, at first she thought she'd woken up already, having a dreamless slumber. It was warmer, though, much warmer than it currently was outside. Something felt different about the room too, something felt lived-in.
And it wasn't the sun that woke her up, but the feeling of someone going down on her.
Betty moaned a little, squirming, before pulling the person up. Though her eyes were open, she couldn't see the face of the person, she could just feel the calloused hands that cupped her jaw, that trailed down her skin and left goosebumps on the trail, that tumbed over her lips before their mouth was on hers. Betty felt like this was a gesture that had been done many times, so she wrapped her arms around them, and let out a little moan of pleasure as the figure above her slid into her.
She knew it was a dream then, all her feelings felt weirdly arranged, like this was a memory or like someone was describing it to Betty. Like she was watching her own moment, standing outside of her body as she had sex. She didn't feel sore, as she might thought she was after months of not engaging in this way, but she had the acute feeling like this was normal. This occurrence happened often.
It was only as Betty reached her climax that she was put back into her body. It was as though her eyes were finally opened, the room was bright and she could see the face above her.
Sweet's.
Worn by time, different, but it was undoubtedly Sweet Pea. He had a beard; not a pathetic highschool beard, or the slightly patchy one he was growing in, but a bushy one that probably needed a good trim. Some of his teenage chub had vanished from his face, leaving it sharper and more beautiful than before. His face was tanned, his eyes were twinkling. If Betty had been contemplating how very young he looked just a few weeks ago, now she was looking up at this face in wonder, thinking of all the time that passed.
Time that passed; some much had changed, to have him gently kiss her forehead as he rolled off her, and she sat up, feeling older herself, though she didn't know why. Still, all the things that were the same, the fact they were in this bedroom, in this safehouse. How many years had it been? Was the world still dead? She had so many questions about a dream that may just be that...a dream.
"Love you," Sweet Pea said casually as he rubbed her head, ruffling her hair, leaning down to press a chaste but soft and meaningful kiss on her lips, "I'll see you downstairs. Less you want to go for another round," He added with a wink.
Betty, on the cusp of answering, was thrown out of her dream.
Daylight bathed her, but coldness. She shot up, glancing around the room to see it as she'd fallen asleep. Sweet Pea next to her, still young, but far away.
Sweet Pea woke up by her jostled movement.
"You go down first," Betty fibbed, "I'm feeling a little ill. I think I just was tossing all night. Come wake me back up in an hour, okay?"
"You sure it's just that?" Sweet Pea reached across the space, feeling her forehead, "You're flushed."
Betty bit her lip, trying so very hard not to imagine Sweet Pea naked, as she had in her dream, and tried to keep from wondering if it was true. She was flushed because she was turned on, goddammit.
"I am. Just need a little more sleep," She promised. Sweet Pea looked like he didn't want to leave her, but finally nodded.
"Feel better."
As soon as he left, Betty tried to rationalize. She had sex dreams about people all the time. She'd had them about everyone, and that rarely ever meant it was going to come true or that she liked them. This had felt different, however, sort of like a premonition. She couldn't put her finger on it, but it felt real.
But that was too much to focus on, at least right now. The first thing Betty did was get herself off, biting her lip to keep quiet, try to keep his name from escaping on her lips, but it was inevitable. As she finished, a quiet, low moan of 'Sweets…' slid off her tongue.
Then, to not be lying to Sweet Pea, Betty tried to lul herself back to sleep. She told herself it was because she was truly exhausted. The part she didn't want to admit right then was because she was hoping that maybe she'd wake back up whenever that moment had been, that she'd get to feel what it was like to live with Sweet Pea as hers.
That, she told Veronica, was the trouble.
XXxxXX
November 20th, 2018
Try as she might, the dream haunted her for the next five days. After the first day, she was able to look at Sweet Pea without blushing again, but that didn't mean it didn't linger. She'd done an okay job of managing her sexual needs, to say that she didn't feel them frequently anymore, but it was as though that dream had lighted something underneath her. She felt horny all the time now, something she was loathe to admit. Loathed because that meant having to get herself off quietly and quickly when Sweet Pea wasn't paying attention, stealing moments in the bathroom or in the morning.
Everything else continued on as it had before. Betty realized the sharp difference between the world and their routine moving forward compared to her need for Sweet Pea and being unable to actualize it. It was almost funny, she thought. This was hell...absolute hell...having Sweet Pea so close to her, but unable to get him how she truly wanted.
After the second day post dream, Betty stopped feeling weird about snuggling up next to him. If he was offering, Betty wasn't going to say no. Leaving the night with his scent curling around her only aided in her midnight moments, and a part of her wanted to feel how dream Sweet Pea had wrapped her up in his warm arms. In fact, in the last couple days, they'd gotten very comfortable in the way that they sat. Both under the blankets, his arm completely over her shoulder. Not grasping, just sitting, but no longer on the couch behind them. Betty's head at his chest, so she could hear the steady 'thump' of his heart repeated over and over, like a metronome, vibrating in the back as they watched TV.
She used to do this with Jughead. The pair of them would curl up on her parent's couch and watch Netflix on weekends. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe it felt too comfortable, and she was equating her moments here to the moments there. Maybe a wire got crossed somewhere. Maybe she wasn't thinking of Jughead at all, but her feeling of absolute safety was stemming from the dream, where their being together had felt like what she imagined being married felt like. Domestic, unsurprising, a moment between the two of them and no one else.
She went over all these reasons a thousand times in her head. The real truth of it was simple...when she'd done it, Betty hadn't really been thinking. She hadn't been thinking at all, as much as Betty was simply doing and feeling.
They were watching 'Conflict Resolution', the episode right before 'Casino Night', which was in Betty's favorite episodes for that kiss at the end, the one that she remembered had her fist-pumping and pushing Polly saying 'I told you' about Pam and Jim. It was ironic, looking back. Or poetic, she told Veronica. Take your pick.
In between episodes, Sweet Pea stretched.
"Next one, Arianrhod!" He commanded teasingly.
"I'm getting it, one sec," Betty said, shifting so she could press the play button. She did, but as she was settling back, she looked up at Sweet Pea. She, admittedly, used to casually kiss Jughead often. Just to remind him of her affections.
She wasn't thinking of Jughead in this moment, she was thinking of future Sweet Pea, and somehow, that's as far as her thoughts went.
She didn't really realize what she'd done at first, it was only later she counted it back and realized that she'd leaned up, angled her chin toward Sweet Pea and stretched her neck up to land a soft, meaningful kiss on his lips, just as his alter in the dream had. Like it was nothing. Like they were that older dream couple. Not like they were currently.
She might have stuttered out an apology, had she been given time for her brain to catch up with her actions. Instead, she was suddenly laying backwards on the couch. The jingle of the theme was playing in the background, but it was distant, so far away.
Sweet Pea had flipped her as easily as she were a bag of flour, so she was staring up. One hand grasped both of her wrists above her head, holding them there. It didn't hurt, he wasn't being unnecessarily rough, but he wasn't letting her go either. His other hand was right by her head, holding him up. He was shaking above her.
She caught the expression in his eyes, just a swift flicker, something between awe, confusion, hope, disbelief...but the most overpowering was lust. Then, he dove down to kiss her.
All of this happened instantaneously, to be honest. The movement of Sweet Pea flipping her to kissing Betty was as quick as as a snap of her fingers.
While Betty's kiss had been innocent, Sweet Pea's was not.
Angry would have been a good term, though he wasn't trying to hurt her. As he kissed her hard, his teeth clanking against hers and his breath hot, one hand moved to hold her head so she didn't bump it uncomfortably against the edge of the couch. The other hand had snaked to her breasts, touching them above her shirt, but pinching and circling.
With her wrists now free, Betty curled her fingers at the nape of his neck, pulling on his hair, encouraging this. Their legs tangled, aided by the blanket that was impossibly knotted between them, she could feel as he began to press against her, his own need just as pressing as her own current desire.
It took a couple shuddered movements, but in between kissing her so hard that she was gasping for breath, he'd managed to situate himself between her legs, pressing up against her inner thighs, the friction so lovely that Betty thought she may pass out. There was still layers between them; Sweet Pea's jeans, Betty's sweatpants. Like that day, where they'd almost tipped the line, Betty just knew he wasn't wearing any underwear, and her own were pretty much toast at this point.
Feeling bold, she started to snake her hand between them, murmuring a quiet, 'yes, please' when he took a moment to breathe.
That snapped him out of it.
He jumped off like Betty had static-shocked him, panting hard, staring at Betty with his eyebrows knit and face set in stone. His chest heaved and all those emotions that had been present before were just replaced with one that she could not read, but he seemed upset.
Betty sat up on her elbows, licking her tongue over her lips, feeling how puffy they were. Her hair was half out of the ponytail, her shirt yanked precariously off her shoulders. Her skin was sticky warm, the blanket feeling dampened with their sweat.
"Sweets…" Betty breathed, unsure what to say now.
"I-," Sweet Pea managed to say, even that one phrase mangled, before he shook his head hard, stomping off.
Betty waited for an amount of time; she didn't know the exact measure. When she realized Sweet Pea wasn't coming back, she went to find him.
He was hunched over the sink, albeit the defunct sink that just had a water bucket next to it, shoulders hunched as he clutched the countertop, still breathing heavily. Betty's own heart was still fluttering.
"Sweet Pea?"
He jumped, turning around. His eyes were rimmed red, and he inhaled hard, his breath coming out so uneven.
"Yeah?" His voice crackled, and he sniffed, angrily swiped the edge of his shirt over his face, jaw clenched.
"I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just kissed you like that," Betty fumbled, playing with the sleeves of her sweatshirt, the oversized nature covering her knuckles, drowning her up to her knees almost. It was a men's. She wished it was Sweet Pea's, but it was just a generic guy's sweatshirt they'd found before, and comfortable as hell.
"I kiss you back," He reminded her, leaning up against the threshold of the door.
"Yeah, but," Betty was unable to articulate how awful she felt, "I crossed the line." She finished. She shouldn't be doing that, not to him. It wasn't fair to him, when he didn't want her. He probably just got caught up in the moment, maybe he imagined she was a girlfriend from back home or something, "I don't blame you."
"Betts…" Sweet Pea winced hard.
"Just...uggh, can we pretend it didn't happen?"
"But it did." Sweet Pea replied tonelessly.
"I know, I know," Betty snapped, "But it's making us both miserable already!" She wanted to forget that she'd done that, forget how wonderful it felt to have him kiss her, she wanted to erase the temptation of a man she couldn't have from her very mind. It would drive her insane.
"Miserable," Sweet Pea repeated slowly. He gave a long sigh, "Fine. We will."
A part of Betty's stomach jumped. A part of her knew that that line couldn't be uncrossed, whatever come what may with that territory. They could pretend, as they were right now, but there was a storm coming. It would come back, she told herself, and a part of her clung to it like a promise.
"You...need to talk about something?" Betty asked, examining him. He wiped off his face with the towel.
"No, I'm cool. We still have another episode of The Office, don't we?" He asked with a forced cheeriness.
"Erm, yeah," Betty said, but she was sort of dreading the next title.
"Well, let's," He said simply.
He offered her his arm again, truly trying to show he didn't want any awkwardness or that he was pretending it hadn't happened, and Betty didn't want to eat her own promises, so she accepted.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, the kiss had been familiar. She told herself that it was the dream, but somewhere...somewhere she felt like it had been before.
In the dim light of the room, with only the light from the TV player, Betty gently touched her lips, the whisper of a forgotten moment lingering still.
So, even though they agreed to 'let it go' I can 100% confirm that that is not going to happen. It won't be like the first rain kiss where it was conveniently able to be forgotten, this is the crossing point that they can't uncross. It is going to just go downhill (or, for all of ya'lls enjoyment) uphill from here...as in, we are going to get to rated M extremely soon.
I hope you all are just as psyched for that as I am!
As always, if you are enjoying this, consider taking a moment to drop a review :) You all can also ask as many 'yes/no' questions in your review as you want to try to figure out her name!