May 6th, 2019
The softball game never happened, though not for the lack of Sweet Pea desperately trying to make it happen.
It warmed Betty's heart to see Sweet Pea take to Jelly so fiercely like she was his own sister. She had worried that because he hadn't particularly liked Jughead he would be indifferent to Jelly. Not cold; it wasn't in Sweet Pea's nature to be so. She just expected perhaps an absence of effort. Where Jelly was concerned, she mostly clung to Betty anyway, or at least, that's how it began.
But his insistence on trying to make this softball game happen had changed something, and now Jelly trailed around after Sweet Pea all day, his little shadow.
They just didn't have the people, or the means, or the time. Sweet Pea had tried every angle to no avail.
Brad, who clearly had a soft spot for kids, had ruffled her hair.
"When we're back, little snake," He'd promised, "I was on my high school's baseball team. You're going to regret asking me to play."
"Sure," Jelly had said, but from the way she looked when she turned around, Betty recognized that expression. It was fear she'd never see Brad again.
His and Octavia's mission was just, if not fueled by selfish means. They were going out and doing some good in the world. A different good than Betty felt like they were doing here. Her days of adventuring and pushing the envelope with stupid ideas were over. She had Jelly to think about now.
Betty knew she was far too old to be Jelly's surrogate mother, but sometimes, that's how it felt. This fierce need to protect felt maternal instead of sibling-like.
Jellybean didn't show too much depression at Sweet Pea's promise of a softball game happening as Betty may have thought. She considered, with a sense of guilt, that Jelly was used to things never going her way anymore, so it hadn't been worth getting excited.
If anything, Sweet Pea was far more distressed.
"I just want her life here to be good, you know?" He had asked, face-down on the bed, "She's a kid. She deserves kid shit. To get to play with barbies or try bad make-up or be able to play in a goddamn softball league."
Betty had just played with his hair, sighing, "If Octavia succeeds, soon we'll have plenty of people here for Jelly to play with."
Sweet Pea shifted to face Betty, his expression careful, "Yeah. There's that."
She smiled softly at Sweet Pea, "Is that a conversation for later?"
He gave a quarter of a smile.
"Yeah," He leaned up to kiss Betty, "A tomorrow conversation."
May 20th, 2019
Before Octavia and Brad left, near the end of May, they decided it was only fair to go raiding for supplies one more time. They hoped to help Sweet Pea and Betty stockpile a nice cache of food. Though Sweet Pea had a gut feeling the crops would grow well this season, there was nothing anyone wanted to leave to chance.
They decided to go down instead of up. There were many small north wood towns dotting the edge of Wisconsin's border.
It had been a big 'adult' conversation about what to do with Jelly.
Betty worried she wouldn't be able to go out. She was very tied to the house, staying well within the boundary lines, even if they did allow her to go to the edge of the driveway, for example. But she had just shaken her head firmly, not stepping a toe over.
"She's in no state to go in," Octavia had agreed, "And fuck, who can blame her?"
None of them could.
Should someone stay with her? She was a child, so logically, yes. If it were the modern world, they certainly could get in trouble for leaving her by herself. But they weren't. They were in the apocalypse where perhaps she was old enough to be left to herself. This was Brad's argument.
The truth of the matter was that no one wanted to stay back. And it became a big argument.
Big enough to rouse Jelly from her sleep.
She padded into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and scowling.
"I can be left alone. I'll be fine. I'm trying to sleep." She grouched, putting the four adults to shame.
"Are you sure?" Sweet Pea was the first one to break the silence.
"Of course I am!" She snapped, rolling her eyes, "My dad was a gang leader. My mom had questionable morals. If you give me a gun, I'll shoot anything that comes near. Human or otherwise."
There was a shocked silence at the table as they just blinked at Jelly, as though forgetting that like the rest of them, she had gone through hell and still made it to the other side. For as much as Sweets wanted her to live a normal, stress-free childhood…Betty didn't think it would ever truly be in the cards.
She was a survivor.
Finally, Brad covered his mouth to hold in giggles, but it erupted in full-blown laughing.
"You think I'm lying?" Jellybean hissed at him, jutting out her chin and stomping her foot.
"No," Brad wheezed, catching his breath, "I think you absolutely would. And that, for some reason, is hilarious."
It took a second, but finally, a wide and almost unnerving grin spread across Jelly's face.
"I sort of hope one does. I think I'd enjoy blasting the face off a walker."
Later, in their bed that night, Sweet Pea had looked mildly disturbed.
"What I'm about to say, I wouldn't say about even my own friends, and that's just…" He struggled, and winced, "But damn, that girl needs some therapy."
Betty shrugged, "We can try to pick up a book on mental illness or something. There have to be some self-help books out there. Because…uhm, I think we all do?" She pointed out.
"Perhaps," Sweet Pea sighed, "Some mental exercises would suit us all well. Is it too much to pray that one of the girls that the duo sends our way will be an ex-Psychiatrist?"
Betty thought about it seriously before nodding.
"Yeah. That's a bit too much to hope for."
Sweet Pea pulled Betty next to him, "Ah. Thought so. In that case, I'd settle for a college kid who self-diagnosed with Tumblr. That should do it, right?"
Betty shrugged, "Better than nothing."
May 22, 2019
On the day of the planned raid, two days before Brad and Octavia had decided to take their leave, everyone woke up bright and early. Betty dressed in her best raid clothing; a black tee shirt and pair of leggings. For raids, you needed to be mobile and able to move things quickly and without getting any snags. Plus, it shouldn't be anything you would be worried about getting dirty; either with actual dirt, dust, or walker's guts.
Luckily, at one of the last places they'd raided, they'd found a whole tub of unsold LuLaRoe leggings. Obnoxious prints, of course, but comfortable and not upsetting if they needed to be burned after a raid. She had one pair of LuLuLemon leggings that she only wore every so often. Lululemon didn't grow on trees or arrive in storefronts anymore, of course, so Betty was being extra careful with it.
As it was, she didn't even know what to call the print of the day other than an over-zealous graphic design freshman, and by the way Sweet Pea held in a snort, he shared similar sentiments.
"Those are some, uh, bright leggings you got on," Brad said, eyes widening, "They're…special."
"They're cheap and expendable. The latter being rare in this day in age."
"Washcloths! That's why the hand towels looked so weird. They're old leggings, eh?" She guessed.
"Yeah, waste not, want not. When they start falling apart, they just become random fabric." Betty shrugged.
"Oh, good. I was seriously concerned about your taste in bathroom linens. I mean, it's the end of the world. People aren't raiding Bed, Bath, and Beyond all that frequently. You could have your pick." She laughed, "I was having a grand time judging you for it, but I'm relieved to have a better answer."
"You're so kind, O," Sweet Pea said dryly.
Sweet Pea made them all pancakes and they ate ravenously.
Then they said goodbye to Jelly, who was still eating the leftovers, with three guns laid out on the table in front of her for safety.
"She'll be fine," Sweet Pea decided, as they stared at the scene together.
"Yep," Jelly agreed as she organized her chocolate chips to look like a smiley face, "I'll be right here when you get home."
Betty wasn't entirely sure what happened after that.
They loaded into the van. There was a sense of excitement among the group. Out of everyone, these three were the type of people to run headfirst into danger. Raids were the most exciting thing they could do.
Betty liked it because it was like a treasure hunt. It's why she had enjoyed thrift shopping in her previous life. It felt similar now.
They started driving out of the gates, and when they got on the road, suddenly…Betty couldn't breathe.
It's like someone grabbed her throat and pushed her down hard and arguably and she struggled, wheezing and gasping, her eyes filling with tears of confusion and fear.
"Shit! Stop, stop!" Sweet Pea said and Brad swerved to the shoulder. Not that it mattered. He could have parked in the middle of the road and no one would have noticed.
"What's wrong?" Octavia asked, looking back.
Betty couldn't find the words to answer. Her entire mind felt fuzzy and her vision swam. She grasped at her throat, feeling tears clog what little airway she had left, and suddenly, she was sure she was about to die.
"Betty! Betty, hey, look here," Brad said, jumping into the back. She blinked, focusing on his finger, "Okay, okay…hey…breathe…"
"She could be allergic! She could be choking!" Sweet Pea was freaking out. She heard the fear in his voice. The waver that wouldn't leave.
"No, It's not that," Brad said, examining her with a frown. He drove the car back into their driveway.
As soon as the car stopped, Betty's fingers fumbled for the lock and she tripped out of the vehicle, scuffing her hands on the gravel and little rocks that covered the driveway.
Then, a sob ribbed from her throat, ugly and angry and furious.
"What just happened? Are you okay?" Sweet Pea asked, hovering.
She shoved him away.
"No, I'm not okay!" She snapped, grabbing a rock and throwing it as hard as she could, letting out a scream of frustration.
"Brad?" Sweet Pea turned, "What is going on?"
"Panic attack," Brad said, leaning against the door to the car, staring down at her.
Betty saw, out of the corner of her eye, Sweet Pea turn, eyes careful.
"Oh."
"Don't 'oh' me, even I don't understand it!" She snapped, furious, and feeling stupid for acting this way in front of her friends and Sweet Pea.
"It's okay, Betty," Octavia said, coming from the passenger seat, "To not be okay."
"You should like a cliche," Betty sniffled, rubbing her eyes, trying to get her breathing steadied.
"It's true, though. You went through hell. Literally. I don't even think the devil was as cruel as the Predators were," Octavia said, her eyes darkening, "Add maybe you're not ready to go out raiding."
"I like raiding," Betty said, shaking her head.
"That might be true. It might also be true that you were taken from your home against your will so you might not be ready to leave it yet."
Betty crossed her arms, "I'm not that…pathetic," She spat, "I'm not weak."
"No one is saying you are, but you also just survived major internal injuries."
Betty felt a flash of relief, "You think that's it?" She wanted something quantifiable to make her seem less like a crybaby for having a freak-out about leaving the property. Brad leaned forward, knocking her head.
"No. But if your spleen was in pain, you'd listen to it. Gotta listen to your head too. That's an organ just like anything else."
"It's a stupid computer with feelings," Betty said, "That doesn't know what it's talking about."
Brad shrugged, "Look, makes no difference to me. If you can get past the driveway without freaking out again, cool."
"Watch me!" Betty snapped, stalking down the driveway. She told herself to woman up. She wouldn't be the weakest link. She refused.
But the closer she got to the road, the more the pressure weighed upon her, a sense of foreboding grasping every inch of her, refusing to let go. She made it a few steps before she had to stumble back into the tree line, trying to catch her breath, angry at her brain for being so unreasonable.
Sweet Pea found her staring angrily at the pavement, fists clenched hard.
"No dice?"
"I hate this," Betty whispered, "I hate being this person."
"You'll get out there again," Sweet Pea said, "Just…not today."
Betty's knee-jerk reaction was to argue, but instead, she just pressed her forehead to his shoulder.
"Yeah. Okay."
Slowly, she let Sweet Pea walk her back to the house. Octavia must have threatened Brad with bodily harm because no one said any shitty comments. She kissed Sweet Pea at the door, telling him she expected him home no matter what, and watched the now trio drive off.
Jellybean was where they'd left her.
"Forgot something?" She asked, looking up.
"No. I'm not going." Betty harrumphed, slouching onto the couch.
"I told you. I'm a big girl. I don't need a babysitter." Jelly said, a tinge of annoyance to her tone.
Betty glanced over the couch, weighing, trying to decide.
But finally, she decided they could all be honest in times like this.
"It's not for you. It's for me." She said, "I'm not ready to leave yet. I feel like you might feel the same?" She prompted.
Jelly gave an embarrassed shrug, "No! I mean, well, it's safe here," She scuffed her feet on the floor, "What's out there but danger?" She mumbled.
Though her fear couldn't have expressed that thought, Jelly summed it up nicely.
Betty didn't how to explain that she felt that too, but she understood that Jelly may have sort of gotten it when she came and curled up, her head in Betty's lap, seeking out Betty's hand for comfort.
Betty was equally as glad for the human companionship right now.
XXX
They came home with a mountain. Literally; that's how it felt unloading everything.
Betty was just grateful they were successful, but more importantly, unharmed.
She had thrown herself into fixing every small thing that had been bothering her for ages to keep her mind off of the worry…what if Sweet Pea didn't return? The last time they'd ventured out, she'd been taken…seemed only fair he would this time too, right?
She had to keep reminding herself that if she trusted anyone to bring Sweets home safe, it certainly was Brad or Octavia.
Turns out her worry was unneeded.
"Things are feeling more and more like ghost towns every single day," Brad said when Betty asked how it was, "Empty."
"Walkers?"
"Disintegrating," Brad replied with a disgusted scowl. He wouldn't say more, but Sweet Pea didn't really have an answer either.
"They just seemed less flesh and bone and more just…bones…" He seemed unbothered, "Easier to kill. Better for us, huh?"
"Think they've been kicking around since the apocalypse?"
"Perhaps." Sweet Pea suddenly perked up, "Oh! I got us something!" He dug around in his back and presented Betty with a hefty set of DVD box sets, "For when The Office runs out. The second best thing."
She smiled; Parks and Rec.
"We should make a list. Of T.V. shows we want to find. A bucket scavenger hunt list," She said.
"My god, we're getting old," Sweet Pea groaned, "We're only going to be able to find shit like 'The Days of Our Lives' and we'll be fucking thrilled to curl up on the couch and watch that."
"Domestic, you mean."
Sweet Pea shook his head, "Darling, we've been like that for longer than just starting to do that now. I've been a regular stand-up boyfriend for months now. If your father could see me, wait, scratch that, your mom, she wouldn't even recognize me."
Betty stared at him for a second, considering it. He did look so changed from that first moment she remembered really meeting him, that glimpse of him as he opened the car door in the parking lot of the Lodge's apartment. He'd been all gruff and teenage angst at that point; hundreds of rings and chains, a bruise on his cheekbone that seemed to never leave, a scowl that could make even Cheryl shiver in her boots, and clothes that said clearly 'I'm a teenage punk; don't mess with me'.
He stood in front of her now with a smile, no jewelry sans his dog tag, and a pair of sports shorts and a white tee shirt. He still had bruises; Betty felt like that was a never-changing identity to Sweet Pea. He'd always find some trouble to be in.
But yes; he was right. The Sweet Pea that she knew that ran with Jughead and the other Serpents was not the Sweet Pea in front of her.
But then again, she wasn't Betty from Riverdale much anymore herself.
"Why are you staring?" He asked, blushing under her gaze.
"Just…thinking. About identity and meaning and self. Lots of big stuff."
Sweet Pea seemed to understand, "Yeah. It's a bit inevitable, huh?"
Not knowing who she was, though, didn't frighten Betty. It wasn't quite that either. She knew who she was. Or rather, she knew who she wasn't.
But wasn't that life? Figuring out the 'no's to try to live with the 'yes'?
May 30th, 2019
Brand and Octavia left as planned.
They tried to make jokes as they left, but those fell flat.
It was sobering.
Though plenty of people had left since the start of this, this dug deep into Betty, clawing her from the inside out.
When they'd said goodbye to Cheryl, Toni, Chuck, and Ethyl, no one had really understood what this was yet. It had been sad, but Betty understood that neither she nor Sweet Pea had really understood the depth of that choice. And neither had Cheryl or her group either.
There was no one to blame, and even knowing what she knew now…Betty thinks she would have still chosen Sweet Pea.
But it's a weird thought.
This one feels like her heart being ripped out and torn on the ground. Octavia feels it too; her eyes shine with tears as she hugs everyone. Brad doesn't show it, he hides it well, but Betty catches him in a moment he thinks that no one is looking.
"You'll be back, won't you?" Jelly asked, "Please?"
Octavia sighs. They all know what they're walking into, willingly. There's a good chance she might not.
But how do you explain that to a pre-teen with attachment issues?
Octavia got down on her level, "Do you want to know something that my family always said?" She asked quietly. Jelly nodded.
Octavia leaned forward, placing her forehead against Jelly's. "May we meet again." She whispered. Jelly repeated it quietly.
"That's beautiful," Betty murmured, feeling herself choking up. Octavia stood, and from her sad smile, Betty understood why it sounded so hopeful yet eerie. It was a funeral prayer.
Still, something about this quieted the anxiety within Betty.
In this world or the next, she just might meet everyone again.
And what a wonderous thought that was?
Sweet Pea, Betty, and Jelly stayed standing outside long after their car had vanished, as though wishing desperately they'd turn around and come back.
June 1st, 2019
Two days later, Sweet Pea remembered something else he'd found; a leather jacket.
"For Jelly!" He'd said, eyes shining with excitement, "So we all have one."
"A tiny gang at the end of the world. Jug would kill me if he knew I let her become a Serpent."
Sweet Pea shrugged, "Awe, c'mon, we're not really that anymore, huh?" He pointed out, "We're just…a little family that's totally badass and wears leather jackets all the time."
"I was just kidding. I think she'll really appreciate it."
"On that note…I wanted to bring something up with you," Sweet Pea added, rubbing the back of his neck, "I…want to take my Serpent patches off. The posterity of it and just…" He gave a half laugh, "It doesn't feel necessary anymore."
"Are you sure?" Betty asked, slightly stunned, "The Serpents were your whole life."
"Yeah, before," Sweet Pea waved a hand, "Not now. And I realized I couldn't give less of a shit. I mean, hell, I'll always be a Serpent, but honestly…" He chuckled, "I never thought any Serpent got this."
"What?"
"Retiring. Growing old with someone they love. The idyllic farm life." He rolled out his shoulders, "Not usually in the cards for people like us. At a certain time, you hang up your snake skin and let yourself enjoy life."
"Sure," Betty shrugged. She had no great convictions about the Serpents at this point, "Mine too. If you think that's what you should do?"
"I think it's what I need. We can always sew 'em back on, or keep them as a memento." He coughed, "Uhm, would you be willing?" He asked with a wince.
"To sew? Can't you?" it was a necessary skill at this point.
"Yeah…but I'm lazy," Sweet Pea groaned, "Please?"
"I will…if you make dinner tonight."
Sweet Pea spat into his hand, "Deal, Betts."
XXX
They explained the importance of names to Jellybean when they gave her the jacket later that night.
As Sweet Pea explained, they all had three rings of 'names', and you had to protect your name like a jewel.
There was the inner circle…their real names. Names you only let people you really, really cared for and trusted see. Sweet Pea explained that these sorts of people should be few and far between…family and a best friend, that's it.
In this circle, they were Elizabeth, Jordan, and Forsythia.
The second circle was the circle they were currently going by. It was the circle that friends would use. It was the circle that in a pre-apocalyptic world would have suited them all fine.
In this circle, they were Betty, Sweet Pea, and Jellybean.
But they were adding a third circle.
With the influx of new people to possibly come, if Brad and Octavia were successful, both Betty and Sweets had felt anxiety about Jellybean just being Jellybean around them. It wasn't as sound as before. No creeps were going to look her up on the internet. And maybe it was a placebo, but they both had agreed they'd feel better if Jellybean went by some other nickname.
They presented it like it was her Serpent name, which Sweet Pea knew would be a big hit.
"Look, we're doing it too," Betty said. She was going to go by Arianhrod, or Ari, to any newcomers. Just another nickname. She'd chosen Ari because it was another flower to add to the Sweet Peas growing out front. A little nod, an easter egg for themselves to enjoy. Doubtful that anyone would ever make the connection.
Sweet Pea had chosen to 'retire' his old Serpent name, but Betty knew it was to show a unified front. He'd chosen to be called Cadmus, a name plucked from a book. He'd still be Sweet Pea to most people he knew, but maybe part of him was excited to see what came after being a Serpent.
Forsythia was already a flower, easy to add to their garden as a nod to the third member of their family, but that had left them stumped. Finally, they had settled on giving her a name similar to Betty's mythological one; Hebe…the goddess of youth. A wish for the future.
Luckily, Jellybean was very pleased.
They practiced over the next few days calling each other by the new nicknames. They only would call each other their real names if no one else was around. So that meant that if Jelly was alone with Betty, she could call her Betty.
And of course, in the dark of night, Sweet Pea whispered Elizabeth against her neck and Betty moaned Jordan as stars lit on her eyelids.
Names had power. They always have, and even in the apocalypse, they always will.