Chapter 6: Fallenstar
They ate in a comfortable silence.
Merrit Fallenstar said nothing as he sat across from his guest. Taking his time with his own meal. The griddle cakes had not turned out badly, if he did say so himself. As a padawan he had often prepared meals for him and his master, when they were travelling.
He was pleased to see that recent events had not dulled that skill.
CeeCee had left the two of them alone, returning to the bridge, the droid would make sure that their journey remained as safe as possible.
That was good.
Bayla had endured enough danger for one lifetime.
She ate and drank voraciously, not that he was surprised. She had started out eating slowly, at first, as if she was at some state dinner.
He had said she had no reason to stand on protocol right now, she was hungry, she needed to eat.
After that, she had torn into her food.
He said nothing, merely ate quietly, respectful of her needs.
It was the least he could do.
She needs to regain her strength, and to work up the courage she needed to speak with him.
Focusing on food was helping her deal with her shock, the shock of seeing him as he was now.
When she had worked past that, the questions would come. Even now, he did his best to prepare, to have the answers she would want ready.
He almost hadn't recognized her, when he found her in that alley, and afterwards, he realized how far gone she was…
…she had truly been in a bad way.
CeeCee had checked her over after he had brought her aboard. Malnutrition, dehydration, and a concussion, and that had only been the basic medical issues.
She had not looked well, and that had not included the bruise on her jaw or the bump on her head. She had looked exhausted, physically and mentally, and she had been overwhelmed because of that. Had he not been there, who knew what might have happened?
His expression turned thoughtful.
Not that he had been looking for her, of course.
No, he had not expected to see anyone he knew on Kafrene, he tried to avoid those he had a past with.
It was better for everyone, him included.
He tried not to dwell on the past, the job, what his clients asked for, that was who he was now.
When on the hunt, he put everything else aside, he had been all business, lost in his emotions, they made what he did easier, and that was what he needed.
The past, thinking about who he had been, it would only slow him down.
Better to act, and not think…
It was not easy, serving true justice.
His mother had understood that, and now…so did the knights.
The fact that they had not lived long with that knowledge was not his problem.
No.
Those murderers had deserved their fate.
IOI
The Knights of Bantoon had become a force for evil, and he, as a servant of true justice, and a skilled mercenary hunter had sworn to deal with them, for a price, of course. He had been well paid to deal with that evil, to ensure that it never harmed anyone else again.
He still remembered his first attack on the knights, when he raided their base, he had seen their prisoners, and heard their words, their threats when he had brought their most recent ransom.
They had thought him nothing, at first, just another noble's footman, he had been dressed as such, and acted just so. His yellow eyes hidden behind dark lenses.
The outlaws had been so proud, he had felt their malicious intent, and they did their best to scare him.
They wanted his fear, fed off it. They thought him beneath them…prey they could abuse.
They…had been wrong.
He had responded as the outlaws hoped, first playing innocent, like he didn't know what was going on, and then, showing fear.
The knights responded to that too. It made them feel big to menace such a weak fool.
It had been all part of the plan, of course, he had just needed an in, to get close to the outlaws.
They took the credits he had brought, and were getting ready to kill him too, as they had Lord Alphonse, the man he had just paid for them to release.
They called him an accessory to the crimes of the tyrants of Bantoon. Someone that profited from the fall of their world.
That was strange, Merrit had thought.
Lord Alphonse was not from Bantoon, he had married a girl from House Rist of Alderaan, true his wife was a minor Bantoon noble on her mother's side but…
…he had done nothing, and the knights had known that. They simply were looking for any excuse to kidnap and murder. They enjoyed suffering, and profiting from inflicting it.
They thought themselves predators, but now, that HE had found them…
…they were the prey.
He let them talk until he knew his life was in danger, they were readying a rope to hang him, as they had done Lord Alphonse, the knights cackled as Merrit was shown their victim. The poor man's body was in a dungeon like chamber, his corpse was still swinging there when they arrived, the knights intended to have the new arrival hang right next to the dead noble.
A matched set, they had said, that is what Merrit would be.
They called him a traitor to Bantoon, worthy of execution.
They had no idea.
Merrit did deserve to be executed for his past failures and mistakes, but then again…
…so did the Knights of Bantoon.
In the end, he had both seen and heard enough, he had been too late to save the one whose ransom he had just paid, but his client had feared and expected that, this ransom was not the first to go bad with these people.
Those who had lost loved ones made sure that Fallenstar understood.
Saving someone was preferred…
…executions were necessary.
He had his orders. He was there to end this, to make sure the knights took no one else.
Even now, the thought brought a sense of satisfaction.
He needed to let loose; it had been too long!
He had come to enjoy his work these last few months.
Righteous anger filled him up, and with it, the dark side.
Merrit had almost laughed.
Finally, a chance at release.
It HAD been too long, the darkness was a poison in his blood, a poison he had to unleash from time to time, or be consumed by it.
Finding people like this, let him do just that.
These people were scum, murderers.
They deserved to be punished, he thought, letting his anger build like a storm.
They…deserve…ME!
His vision turned red, as he gave himself over to the darkness, let it empower him.
His lightsaber, hidden up his sleeve until that moment, was in his hand, ignited.
The outlaws' eyes widened as he threw them back with the Force. One who tried to shoot him was blasted down with Force Lightning. Their sick enjoyment turned to terror!
How quickly the tables turned.
How quickly people learned how small they truly were.
They had thought him a Jedi, at first, some tried to surrender. They asked to be taken in.
That wasn't what he was there for. House Rist had no interest in a trial, and with the galaxy in the state it was in…who would he bring them to? The Republic courts? Were they even still capable of dispensing justice?
Well, he didn't need their opinions and debates.
True justice guided HIS actions.
Few had tried to fight, their leader, a Bantoon Major drew a dueling sword and tried to draw him into a fight.
The man was unworthy of crossing blades, he had been singing a merry tune about hanging outlaws a few moments earlier.
Merrit chose to make an example of him.
He pinned the man in a Stasis field, and disemboweled him with his lightsaber. The man died, his scream rising three octaves as he fell.
After that, the outlaws were done! Some threw down their weapons, he killed them too.
It was their turn to beg and plead for their lives.
These were not innocents, too much blood was on their hands.
He had no reason to feel bad for ending them.
Merrit gave them what they deserved, he was like them in that moment, deaf to their begging.
They had shown no mercy, and now…
…neither would he.
It was from the last survivor he learned about the remaining knights travelling to Kafrene, they had a line on a major bounty, something that would set the group up, maybe give them a chance to disappear.
The man had spit out the story quickly, hoping that Fallenstar would spare his life for doing so.
He assumed that Merrit would spare him for offering up useful information, but they had not discussed terms, the man had merely hoped.
The hunter dashed that hope.
He had worked quickly after that, killing the remaining guards, and freeing the few prisoners that were still alive, nobles and merchants, people the outlaws had not gotten around to hanging just yet.
A young woman called Merrit a hero, she foolishly fell to her knees and blessed him. Another man, an officer of the mining guild offered him credits to remain with them, see them safely back to Republic space.
Merrit had declined, his job was not over, not until those on Kafrene were dealt with.
When he took a job, he always saw that job through.
That didn't mean that his code had no room for seeing to the safety of these people, oh no…
…he wasn't a monster after all.
He did see to their safety, he escorted them to one of the outlaws' shuttles, and sent word to House Rist that an escort was needed to protect them, to see them safely home.
He didn't leave, not until that help arrived. He took no chances.
He had no desire to hear that they had died because a ship of knights had come back before these people could reach safety.
He had a code, after all. He might have been a Dark Jedi, but that didn't mean he was an animal. The innocent were safe from his wrath, anyone else…anyone deserving of his attention…
…they were fair game.
After the prisoners were safe, he had made straight for Kafrene. It had not been hard to locate the remaining knights, their shuttle's transponder numbers had been on the computer at their base. He had shown no more mercy to them, then he had shown their allies on the asteroid.
The last had tried to buy him, again, and he had done something worse.
He had dared mistake Merrit for a Sith. He had accused him of being a Sith Lord!
Merrit's temper had spiked.
He had pulled the murderer to his grip with the Force putting his blade beneath the man's chin. He reveled in the man's terror, the terror so many of his victims suffered.
Let the man know the fear he inflicted on others.
He deserved that, and more.
Fallenstar had leaned in close, whispering in the man's ear.
"Let's get one thing straight, worm," he snarled.
"I am NO Sith Lord!"
He had turned on the blade, punching it through his chin and up through the top of his head, boiling the man's eyes in their sockets, before flinging his body back into the garbage.
It was then that he had looked down, seen Bayla.
He had tried to touch her, help her.
His rage had overwhelmed her, that or her injury. She collapsed with a final scream.
That scream…THAT woke him up.
He blinked, came back to himself, and the carnage he had inflicted.
He was shocked, the anger was gone in the blink of an eye.
Jas' daughter lay hurt at his feet.
He…he had to help her.
He had too.
He had called for CeeCee to bring the ship in closer.
He had to get Bayla out of here.
Once she was safe…
…well…then…
…they would see.
IOI
"Fenn?"
Bayla's voice was a soft whisper, showing a shyness he had not heard in years. The last time they had spoken had been just after her father had passed.
She had seemed so strong then, so decisive, clad in the military uniform of her people.
She didn't seem that way now, not that she was weak, oh no.
He had felt her strength when she stormed into the main cabin, clad in only the tiniest of nightgowns and wielding her lightsaber.
Had he drawn his blade, she would have fought, had she not known him, she would have attacked.
She had her father's fire in her, she was strong, strong…and more.
The memory gave him pause, even now.
Back-up was not a little girl anymore, that had been clear, her figure was shapely, the flashing of her eyes, the weapon in hand.
The sight…had been very fetching.
He had turned quickly hoping she would not pick up on his emotions.
This was Jas' daughter, after all.
He would not dishonor his master's memory any further.
He had disgraced it enough.
When he didn't respond, she blinked, finally putting down her fork and knife.
She leaned back. Drawing his attention.
"Yes?" he asked.
"So," she said crossing her arms.
"Wanna talk?"
Her question almost made him chuckle.
It had been those exact words that had begun their first conversation almost eighteen years ago. He had been eleven, and she ten.
It had been his first week on Bantoon, and Master Jas had brought him to the palace for the first time.
He had still been hurting at that point, they had only just left Ambria, where he and Master Jas had lived for almost two months.
During that time, the Jedi Master had forced his young charge to confront what had happened during the sacking of Coruscant. He had made Fenn face his anger and fear, and by facing it, facing it, and coming to terms with it, the boy had come back to the way he had been before the sack…somewhat at least.
Bayla had further helped, being so close in age, she had become a fast friend to the lost young padawan. Though, they had not gotten to know each other immediately.
The girl had been…shy at first. It had taken time for her to work through that shyness.
He had seen Bayla around, of course, and his master had told him her name, but she had not worked up the courage to speak to him, not until that moment.
For years they had talked, on and off, whenever Master Jas had needed to return home. The last time had been right before the cold war with the Sith had gone hot.
The time that she had approached him, not as a mere friend, but as a young woman looking to take their friendship to the next level.
That…had not ended well.
He had thought her angry with him, he had hurt her, he was smart enough, and open enough with the Force to sense that.
They had not spoken again for years after that.
That could explain why she seemed so…pensive now.
He could sense her concern, but also a return to the shyness of her childhood, a shyness he had thought she left behind. Of course, they were starting over from scratch, weren't they?
He was not Fenn Shadowstone anymore, her senses could no doubt verify that.
Merrit sighed.
"There is not really much to talk about, Back-up," he answered, "Though I'm sure you have questions."
She nodded.
He was not surprised. He gestured for her to continue, but not before refilling her mug with caf.
She nodded in thanks, and began.
"So um…your Merrit Fallenstar, huh?"
"Yes," he answered.
She frowned slightly.
"Why?" she asked, "Why change your name, and why pretend to be a Dark Jedi?"
Merrit pursed his lips.
Hm.
They couldn't start this way.
He needed to make sure she understood.
"I'm Merrit because that is who I am, Bae, who I've always been, even if I didn't know it.
He looked down at the table.
"I am the son of Mirax Fallenstar. She was my birth mother."
Bayla gave him an arched look.
" Mirax Fallenstar was your mother?"
He nodded.
"Your actual mother?"
The one who gave birth to me, yes."
Bayla gave him a skeptical look.
"How did you figure that one out? You told me once you had never known your mother."
"I didn't know…as for finding out…that…that was a bit complicated, trust me though, I can say without a doubt, that she was my mom."
Bayla nodded.
"That's good…I suppose. Mirax Fallenstar was considered a hero by my mother. You should be proud to be her son."
He was, he thought, and if not for her, he likely would not be here right now.
He probably would have died on that backwater that Avy had stranded him on three years ago.
"I remember dad telling me how troubled she was," Bayla continued, "Is that the reason you decided to pretend to be a Dark Jedi?"
Merrit shook his head. He still couldn't' believe she didn't recognize him for what he was.
Maybe their history was blinding her.
He sighed.
"I'm NOT pretending. I AM a Dark Jedi."
Her blue grey eyes widened, shocked by his admission.
"You can't be," she exclaimed.
"I fell to the dark side almost three years ago, now," he said with a shake of his head. "The light side abandoned me. I can't feel it, can't draw on it."
He shrugged.
"The dark is all I have left."
She shook her head, still not willing to accept.
"But…you are not evil."
He smiled at that.
It was sweet of her to say, but most would disagree with her.
The Knights of Bantoon chief among them, provided he left any of them alive.
He leaned forward, letting his sunglasses slip down his nose, giving her a clear view of his yellow Sith eyes.
"Evil is a point of view, Back-Up. Many would consider my actions in the last few years as evil, but that is not why I call myself a Dark Jedi."
He shook his head.
"A Dark Jedi uses their passion for their strength. They draw on the dark side to fulfill their own desires. They think inward, and only about themselves."
She looked sick, her expression pained.
"But…you saved me!"
"I did, but not out of a sense of compassion," he pushed his glasses back up again, hiding his glowing yellow eyes.
He felt…uncomfortable letting her see them. The disappointment he felt from her…it was painful.
He did his best to make her understand.
"I DO consider myself a Dark Jedi, but that doesn't mean that I'm a threat or your enemy. I don't hate the Jedi Order, or seek to take over the galaxy. I leave those fool notions to the Sith. When it comes to using the dark side, I seek only pleasure and profit, and to up my reputation among my clients, which in turn ups my profits, and allows me to live my life on my terms."
He looked down at his hands, imagining the blood that was still on them, no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.
He shook his head.
"The fact that I've fallen doesn't mean that I've abandoned my morals or standards. I STILL possess morals and standards, though perhaps one would call it having a code more than anything else. I never kill anyone that doesn't deserve it. Innocent beings are safe in my company. I never take jobs that could cause harm to innocents. I do not target law enforcement officers, not honest ones, anyway, and I don't target witnesses in criminal cases, or poor creatures that might have seen something they should not have. The galaxy is full of killers who do. I will not join them."
Bayla looked upon him, her grey eyes so much like his masters, and her dyed black hair really making her look like him.
Merrit looked away, not wanting to meet her gaze.
"I enjoy the violence of my work. I won't deny that, and for that I choose to continue down this path. THAT is what makes me a Dark Jedi, Bayla."
He sighed again.
"I tried to resist, to deny it. I spent my first year on my own trying to redeem myself, to find the light again. I failed in that search. The light refused to hear my call, and the Jedi I approached for help, turned me away, they felt that I was exactly where I deserved to be…"
He managed a sad smile.
"It took time, but I've come to accept my fate. I can live with it now; I just don't want anyone else to have too. Being damned doesn't mean that I have to force that damnation on anyone else."
The girl winced, despite what he had said, she still didn't seem to grasp it.
He should have felt revulsion, she should have turned away from him, as everyone else he had known had…
Yet, he sensed pity, and…compassion.
Fool girl, he thought.
Well, she would learn in time.
She frowned.
"So…um…where does that leave me?" she asked, "Am…am I your prisoner, your merchandise?"
A shiver ran down her spine.
"Am I yours?"
He tilted his head.
An interesting way to put that, he thought.
It took her a few moments, but she seemed to realize what she had just said.
She blushed a deep scarlet, a nervous giggle escaped her.
"Well," she said trying to cover her face, "That sounded far more suggestive than I would have thought?"
His smile widened at that.
Interesting that she would go there, he didn't.
Her reaction surprised him.
Had she forgotten what had happened ten years ago? Had he not broken her heart?
He had refused to stay with her. He valued her friendship, but that was it.
He had been training to be a Jedi Knight, that is what he had wanted.
A husband, a father…a…lover, that was not something he was meant to be.
"Oh really?"
He frowned, the voice was in his head, familiar, and a bit mocking.
Not now, Mom, he thought.
He could almost hear Mirax Fallenstar chuckle.
"You don't expect me to believe that becoming a Jedi was the only thing you wanted? Have you forgotten a certain girl that you grew up with, one you saw only in your dreams?
I didn't forget, he thought glumly, maybe I was trying to…
I don't believe for one moment that you turned away from the girl out of a sense of duty to the Jedi, Merrit. I think you hoped, even then, to find your dream girl, and you were not willing to settle until you found her.
Well, I found her, didn't I? he snapped back.
That worked out so well, didn't it?"
His mother's spirit didn't respond.
She didn't need too.
Merrit tortured himself enough over his failings with Avy and Taya. The two Sith had awakened the darkness within him. People had died because of it. People he had cared about, friends…
One day, he would need to answer for those deaths.
He looked at Bayla, despite everything he was, he would only go so far down the dark path.
He refused to become a monster, or rather, more of one than he already was.
He shook his head.
"You are neither my prisoner, nor my merchandise, Bayla. What you are, is my guest, and under my protection. You have my word that I will see you to safety before we go our separate ways."
"But why?" she asked, "If you are truly a Dark Jedi…"
"I owe it to your dad," he answered, "I have disgraced Jas Dar Bynn's memory enough. I will not compound that disgrace by selling his daughter to the highest bidder."
His admission surprised her.
"Dad never saw you as a disgrace."
"Maybe he didn't, but many others have since," Merrit's expression darkened, "Too many Jedi looked down on your master for his decisions. My fall…all that does is make them think that they were right. That he trained me poorly, and all I am now is the final sign of his failure.
"I won't be that, Back-Up. Your father deserves better, his memory deserves better!"
It was in that moment that Bayla Istillo did something that surprised him.
She smiled.
"You see, you are not lost to the dark side. You still love my father!"
He wanted to deny it, but he couldn't. "I only seek to honor his memory. He didn't fail. I did, I chose to lose myself to my emotions, and now…the darkness has claimed me as its own."
"I'm damned, Bae. I can accept that, but at least I can do something for you, before I'm lost forever."
"What are we going to do?" she asked.
"I'm going to find you someplace safe. Someplace where you can help your people. After that, I'm gone. I won't sully your presence any more than I have to. There are plenty of beings out there that will want to help you. I'm just going to do my best to make sure you reach them."
Bayla's face lit up at his promise, again, he feared she was not really understanding what was going on here.
He was a failure to the Jedi, and his master's memory.
He would not see her cause soiled because the Force had brough them together again.
He looked around the ship, it had served him well these past few years, but he had never intended to keep it.
"The Knightfire is yours too. I will return it to you as soon as we get you to safety."
What about you?" she asked. "Don't you need a ship of your own?"
"I have another ship," he promised, " I found my mother's ship, it is a little smaller than this one, but it will suffice. CeeCee will return with you as well. The droid's been a great help, but it belongs with your family, just like this ship."
His master's daughter nodded, despite having faced so much in the past few years, she seemed eager to accept what he was offering.
"Safe," she said with a nod, "And where might that be, pray tell?"
He opened his mouth, only to have it snap shut.
That…was a good question.
The Jedi were an option, he supposed, but after all his recent encounters with them, he wasn't sure that they would be able to help. When it came to the Paladina, most "proper" Jedi looked down upon them, seeing them as the order's backward cousins.
He wasn't sure their help would be what Bayla needed.
This new Galactic Alliance he had heard of was a possibility, but there was a problem with that as well. Lana Beniko was one of their leaders, or so he had heard. Which meant that there would be Sith serving with her, as well.
Considering what had happened to Survivor Squad, he was not as trusting as he once was, concerning the Sith. Plus, he could not vouch for the loyalty of people he didn't know...
He had been surprised when he learned that Avaryss had taken over Bantoon, but he should not have been.
It was master Jas' world, considering what she had said during their last encounter, it made sense that she would seize Bantoon.
All it would take would be one Sith, loyal to Avaryss, and embedded with the alliance for her to learn about Bayla's whereabouts. If that happened, her safety would not be guaranteed.
Bayla might also learn that Avaryss, the Sith that took her home world, was also the Sith that her father and Fenn Shadowstone had been working with. Which could lead her to realize Fenn's role in her destroying her father, and the rest of his people.
Merrit didn't want that, he didn't want to see the betrayal in Bayla's eyes when she learned what had occurred.
No, the alliance was out, for now.
"I'm not sure where we can go," he admitted, "Not yet, I'll try to think of something."
"You can do it," she said, her eyes radiating a sense of trust.
"My father trusted you, and…so do I. Regardless of what has happened."
She smiled.
"You will do the right thing."
Her words were touching, he…he hoped he was still worthy of that trust.
For her, for the sake of his friendship and trust with her father, he tried something.
He closed his eyes, trying again to draw on the Force, the light, hoping it might give him some insight
He was trying to help someone else, after all, surely the light side would accept that…offer him something for once.
As always, the light remained silent, but that didn't mean that the dark side didn't offer up its help.
He tried not to draw too deep upon it, he accepted its power during combat, but still tried to resist letting it pull him too far down into its embrace.
He frowned.
What it showed him was…unexpected.
He got only the briefest of flashes, but it had been enough.
He…he saw an image of him…him and Bayla. Aboard this ship, and in his cabin.
He swallowed hard; heat suffused his face.
The dark side showed the two of them…together. They were in his bunk, making love fiercely, her riding him, their bodies slick with passion sweat.
As they reached their climax, Bayla opened her eyes and cried out to the shadows…
…She opened her yellow eyes…
Sith eyes!
He shook his head!
No.
NO!
He would not be the reason Jas' daughter fell to the Darkside!
He wouldn't do it!
He shook his head.
No.
"Fenn?"
He blinked, Bayla's voice pulling him back to the now.
He frowned.
"Please don't call me that, Bae, not anymore. Merrit is who I am now. Please try to remember that."
The girl nodded.
Okay, Fe…I…I mean Merrit."
She smiled.
"I'll remember."
He nodded.
Good.
At least she accepted who he was now.
It was a start.
He looked down at his meal, suddenly realizing he was no longer hungry.
He tried not to think about what the dark side had showed him.
It wouldn't happen.
He would NOT let it happen!
He respected Master Jas too much.
He would find a way to keep Bayla safe…both from her enemies…
…and him.
Don't be afraid.
Again, his mother's voice echoed through his head.
Don't forget, Ritt, the future is always in motion. What you saw doesn't have to come to pass.
I know, mom, he thought.
But in that moment, that event, it happening, was very close.
Merrit Fallenstar sighed.
When he had saved her on Kafrene, he had thought he could keep Bayla safe from her enemies, all her enemies…
…but in doing so, had she fallen into the hands of her worst one.
One that could lead her down the path to corruption?
He prayed that wasn't so.
Despite what had happened in the past, he still cared. Bayla was his friend.
If she fell because of him.
Would his failure not be complete?
Would that be the final act of betrayal of his friend and master?
He couldn't do it.
He WOULDN'T do it!
He owed it to Jas.
He needed to protect Bae.
He HAD too.
I need to be strong, he thought.
By the living Force…
…please let me be strong.