The Agent of Chaos

Sometimes, Kuro grew bored. This was generally seen as somewhere between terrible and apocalyptic as he sought ways to amuse himself.

A bored Kuro was a Kuro not thinking about the consequences of his actions, and many Gamers had been brought into existence thanks to such times.

Including, him.

— Rias Gremory —

Kuoh was under attack.

Who else could she describe the hell that had been inflicted upon them all lately, why else would she be peeking around the corner of her own school in fear that she'd see those black soulless eyes staring back at her.

Seeing nothing but other students, she let out a sigh of relief as she walked around the corner and entirely missed the box that's been pulled out just enough to catch her shin and while that wouldn't be enough to make her fall, the mocking taunt of her enemy made her jump and lose her already unstable footing as she, heiress of a powerful devil clan, went flying.

But that wasn't enough for her foe, which was why she wasn't even surprised when she landed headfirst in a conspicuously placed bucket of water, the water soaking her as she landed face down ass up, her skirt somehow flipped leaving her bare ass and pussy on display.

Because the fucker had stolen her panties not an hour ago, and as she pulled her head out of the bucket, she could have sworn she heard the sound of a camera, but all the students were trying to look innocent as they stared at anything but her.

She didn't even give them a second look as she locked eyes with it. Sona claimed it was male, but she didn't care. It wasn't a man or a woman, it was evil given flesh.

"Honk."

Its mocking cry rang through the corridor as the pure white goose ran towards the window, her lacy panties still in its mouth, and jumped out of the open window, flying to freedom.

She didn't give chase, she'd already learnt that she couldn't hurt it. Attacks never managed to hit it, as displayed the time it stole the underwear of every single member of the Kendo in one go, dodging countless swings as it made off with its loot.

Magic wasn't any better, Sona had lost her temper and practically tried to blow it up after she found her paperwork, that she'd spent hours doing, in the school fountain.

When the dust cleared, the Goose had simply honked mockingly at her before it fled the scene, unharmed. Of course Sona found herself beset by 'accidents' and wardrobe malfunctions for the next week as the Goose claimed its vengeance.

You could attack the monster, it only encouraged it to target you, and even the likes of Serafall had fallen victim to its wicked whims.

The one of the sis-con Satans had came to Kuoh after hearing Sona rant about it, thinking a boy had been bullying her precious Sona-tan.

Finding out the boy was a Goose hadn't stopped her from trying to freeze it, but all that had achieved was Serafall losing her 'magical girl staff' as the little bastard avoided all attacks and bit her on the hand, making her drop her favourite prop.

Not even the Satan had managed to reclaim her stolen property, and while doing a live stream as Levi-tan in the underworld the Goose ambushed her and managed to steal her magical girl top with the hundreds of thousands of people watching.

No, they were forced to endure the mischief of this abomination and for some reason, it had it out for her.

With her white shirt completely see-through, she pouted as she walked to class. The monster had stolen all her bras three days ago and now its evil scheme made sense, her breasts on display for all her classmates.

Oddly enough, so focused on her foe, she never actually considered just changing or using magic.

— Issei —

"Will you die for-"

"Honk!"

His would be girlfriends words were cut off as she paused, the spear in her hand stopping as she looked down between them.

The emotionless gaze of the school's mascot stared back at her, and Issei would never hear a bad word against it with how many wardrobe malfunctions it was responsible for.

"I- what? Never mind that, Issei, will you die for-"

Cut off again as the Goose lunged forwards, Issei finally broke out of his shock and decided to run from his crazy date as she desperately tried to fight off the white menace.

Hiding behind a tree, he couldn't help peeking back around as his eyes widened.

He had no idea what Yuma really was, but she seemed dangerous given the whole spear and wings thing…

So why was the Goose sitting on her unconscious form honking triumphantly?

Unable to stop himself, he slowly approached seeing the black eyes lock onto him.

"I think you just saved my life, little guy," Issei said, making the Goose straighten up proudly before it hopped off Yuma's sleeping body.

Yuma was laying on her back, seemingly no worse for wear aside from several small bites on her body, which meant as the Goose went to work on her bdsm top, Issei's eyes widened as Yuma's breast popped out of the outfit the Goose was somehow skilfully removing.

His stare was interrupted as the Goose honked, having dragged the outfit over to him.

"Are you offering me that?" Issei asked, seeing the intelligence in its eyes as it nodded. "Honestly, the view alone was enough for me little gu-"

Leaping forwards, the Goose bit down on his hand as he yelped in pain and shook his hand, utterly failing to shake it off, and as the Goose finally let go he could have sworn he heard someone screaming in the back of his head.

"Hey, what was that-"

His words trialled off as he spotted the red gauntlet in the Goose's mouth.

A flash of light drew his attention away as he spotted Rias Gremory literally appearing in a circle, but today had been weird enough that he didn't question it as she raised her hand before she paused.

Her eyes slowly went from him to Yuma and finally to the Goose.

"…is that Boosted Gear?"

"Honk."

He had no idea what was going on, but as the Goose once again took off, dashing towards a bush with its new toy in mouth, Rias immediately set off after it.

"Oh, come on! I needed that, why are you doing this?" Rias whined as she dove into the bush the Goose had jumped into. "I know you understand me! Where did you go, at least let me make an offe-"

Her words suddenly cut off as a honk resounded throughout the park.

"Wait- no, not again! Ow! Please, no don't do th- Oooh~ not there, no wait, please I'm sorry!"

The yelps and moans coming from the bush made his pants quite a bit tighter than they already were and as Rias came stumbling out of the bush, panting and completely naked his eyes widened in shock and arousal.

"Take a good long look, you won't be remembering any of this."

What was that supposed to mean, he'd never forge-

His thoughts were cut off as the unseen fist of Koneko smashed into his head, the white haired girl sighing as she stared at her King.

"Idiots."

"What's that supposed to mean? I couldn't just let the little menace run away with Boosted Gear!"

— Rias Gremory —

To know that Boosted Gear had been under her nose this entire time, only to be stolen away by her nemesis made her defeat sting all the more.

Her deadline was rapidly approaching and she was out of ideas, she'd spent so long focused on the Goose, secretly enjoying the distraction from her grim fate, that she simply had no more options.

She could challenge Riser to a rating game, but she'd lose. There wasn't even a chance of them winning as they were now.

She'd have to 'trade' her Peerage away, she wasn't going to let them go under Riser's control.

Akeno was already here, and as the door opened and Koneko walked in, she turned and prepared herself to tell them that she was trading them to Sona.

Her words died in her mouth as she spotted the pure white feathered menace held in Koneko's arms as she hugged it to her chest, walking in and taking a seat as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"I- Koneko-" Rias stuttered, watching Koneko calmly pet the demons head as it stared at her with its soulless eyes. "Why do you have that."

"Him," Koneko said sternly, making Rias and Akeno blink.

"Why do you have him?" Akeno asked, blushing slightly.

Akeno worried her, because she acted like she legitimately had a crush on the Goose. Apparently while his appearance wasn't her type, his personality definitely was.

This was only proven when Akeno reached forward to pet it as well, only for it to lash out at the hand, biting down hard enough to draw blood.

"Ara, ara~"

Ignoring the moaning moron, she turned back to Koneko.

"…found him. He likes pets."

Staring back at the Goose, she paused for a moment as she spotted the red ribbon nearly tied around its neck.

"…did you decorate him?" Rias asked in bafflement.

"He likes it."

"Honk."

Koneko calmly reached into her pocket and pulled out a biscuit, giving it to the feathered menace who eat it happily.

The entire meeting derailed, it wasn't until they'd both left much later that she realised she'd spent the entire type distracted by that damnable goose.

Going to call them back, she froze as she spotted the Goose now stood on her desk, entirely too close.

"Why do you keep doing this?" She asked, well aware that the Goose was far smarter than it looked.

"Honk."

"I figured as much," Rias said with a laugh. "What else was I expecting?" she said with a sigh as it almost shrugged.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, and I can't even blame you," Rias admitted, making it tilt its head. "I'm going to have to send Akeno and Koneko away, and spend the rest of my life spreading my legs for that bastard Riser."

"Honk."

Somehow, the Honk almost sounded sympathetic.

"Heh, I don't suppose you'd join my Peerage? I doubt we'd be able to beat him but at least he'd have to deal with you for the rest of his life," Rias joked, making the Goose tilt his head.

"Honk."

Somehow, she knew that was a no.

"I figured as much," Rias said with a sad smile as she reached out and went to stroke the goose.

She was utterly unsurprised when it lunged forwards and bit her on the breast, making her yelp as her shirt was torn open.

Going to glare at the demon, she blinked in confusion at the empty room.

Where did it go?

— Cao Cao —

"I don't know who you are, but trying to ambush me was a foolish move!" Cao Cao warned as he summoned True Longinus.

He didn't know who was stalking him, but he knew there was something out there.

But it didn't matter who they were, they were no match for the power of-

"HOOOONK!"

With a battle cry, the white blur descended upon him, and hours later the rest of the Hero faction would find Cao Cao curled up in a ball, crying and without his Sacred Gear.

— Riser Phenex — A Week Later —

This would be an easy enough fight, he knew everything Rias's peerage had to offer and they simply didn't have anything capable of harming him-

Huh, why was Koneko just walking up to him?

And what was that spear in her hands?

— Sirzechs Lucifer —

He was happy Rias wasn't going to be marrying Riser of course, but there were some rather large… political issues caused by the particular shocking result of the fight.

In particular the part where Koneko removed Riser from existence with True Longinus.

Which was why he was sitting opposite Rias and her Peerage, his eyes flickering towards the Goose sitting on Koneko's lap.

"I'm sorry, explain that again," Sirzechs said, making Koneko sigh.

"Goosey gave me it."

"The Goose gave you True Longinus," Sirzechs repeated, making her nod. "And why did it do that?"

He knew about the Goose after all, but this was outrageous even by its standards.

He'd learnt about it when he came home to find the house on fire from Grayfia's desperate attempts to kill the white feathered menace that had apparently been harassing her.

"Because I'd be sad if Rias had to send me away," Koneko answered simply, the Goose honking in agreement. "And it didn't want to join her Peerage."

"I-"

Whatever he was going to say was cut off as a feeling of pure power interrupted him, a portal opening and a small black haired figure stepping out of it.

He immediately stiffened in fear as he recognised just what had teleported into Rias's office.

"L-Lady Ophis, what-"

"Not here for you. Silence," Ophis said bluntly, making him freeze as she walked towards Rias and her Peerage. "You will join me."

Standing in front of Koneko, she stared down at the Goose as pure power radiated from her.

"Honk."

"No? I wasn't ask-" Ophis started before the Goose made its move, lunging forwards and biting down on her hand as everyone's eyes widened in shock and horror.

They were all dead, Ophis would wipe out everyone because some lunatic Goose-

"Ow! Let go!" Ophis yelped, trying and failing to dislodge the goose from her hand as they all stared in shock.

As it finally let go, sent flying by Ophis's flailing hand and coincidentally landing exactly back in Koneko's lap, Ophis stared down at her hand, a vicious bite mark spilling her blood, she paused for a moment.

And then she started crying, unused to pain.

"He doesn't like being told what to do. You should head pat him and give him treats to get his help," Koneko said gently, making Ophis look up at her with teary eyes.

"O-okay… I'm sorry?" Ophis tried, reaching out slowly and fearfully with her uninjured hands hesitantly placing it on the Goose's head, her fear residing as it happily pushed its head further against her hand. "You, devil. I will live here until I can convince the almighty Goose to assist me."

Her tone broking no argument, Rias could only nod rapidly as Ophis sat down between her and Koneko, immediately asking Koneko for advice on pleasing the goose.

He missed it when the world made sense.

— Later —

After hours of meetings about the newest… development, he finally got teleported home with a sigh.

Nobody was going to give Rias trouble about Riser's fate, not with True Longinus in her Peerage and Ophis in her house.

He needed a good night's sleep, but at least things couldn't get worse tod-

"Ooh~ harder, please my lord, harder!"

Grayfia's voice echoed through the house as he froze. No, Grayfia would never- he had to be misunderstanding somethi-

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Oh Maou, it's so big! More, please give me more!"

Opening the door with a scowl, his wife sat up in shock, the quilt falling off her nude, sweaty form as a look of shame and guilt crossed her face.

Huh, she was in bed alo-

As he stared in shock, the quilt moved again as a long white neck slid out and a pair of jet black eyes locked with his.

"Honk."

"I'm sorry for disturbing, please enjoy yourselves," Sirzechs said with a polite bow as he backed out of the room, closing the door.

"Wait, not with my husband righ- Ooooh~"

New plan, he didn't need sleep, he needed booze. Lots and lots of booze.