New York City – A Lovely Evening Ruined by Villainy
The sun had barely begun its descent, painting the New York skyline with strokes of orange and pink. The air was crisp, the streets alive with the usual chaos—horns blaring, pedestrians bustling, and tourists snapping selfies in front of places they'd forget in a week. It was the perfect evening for a hot dog, a stroll, and absolutely no world-ending threats.
Naturally, that meant something had to go wrong.
And boy, was it going wrong in the most dramatic way possible.
"WHERE IS MORNINGSTAR?! YOUR SO-CALLED HERO?! SHOW YOURSELF, YOU INSOLENT WORM!"
Desaad, the twisted, robed sycophant of Apokolips, stood in the middle of Times Square, his gnarled fingers crackling with dark energy. His sunken, leering face twisted into a manic grin as terrified civilians scrambled for cover. Neon signs flickered as his mere presence warped the very air, distorting reality in waves of malevolence.
"This entire city reeks of his meddlesome energy! Come out and face me, Morningstar!" Desaad bellowed, voice laced with wrath. "Or must I begin flaying these pitiful creatures one by one?"
The people screamed. Some brave souls tried to record on their phones, but their screens went static. Others attempted to run, only for tendrils of shadowy fire to snake around them, herding them like cattle.
Then, just as the tension reached its breaking point—
A long, slow whistle cut through the chaos. Desaad turned, his beady eyes narrowing.
Standing atop the giant Coca-Cola billboard, casually leaning against it as if it were a lounge chair, was a man in his late twenties. He looked human enough—blond hair, blue eyes, clad in a sleek, black long trench coat over a white shirt. But his face bore something unnatural: whisker-like scars that twitched as he smirked. His entire posture screamed relaxed arrogance, like someone who had already won before the fight even started.
Naruto Morningstar, Son of Lucifer Morningstar, waved lazily.
"Hey, Desaad! Lookin' great, buddy! You been hitting the gym? No? Just the torture pits? Yeah, that tracks."
Desaad's snarl was instant. "You!"
"Me!" Naruto grinned. "Man, you look angry. What happened? Did someone replace your torture devices with marshmallow fluff again?"
The crowd, still cowering, stared in disbelief. Morningstar? NYC's guardian angel and why was he treating Darksied's boytoy right hand like an old drinking buddy?
Desaad seethed, his hands clenching into claws. "You humiliated me, Morningstar! You tricked me! Pranked me before the entire court of Apokolips! Even Darkseid—Darkseid!—looked upon me with disgust! I swore I would hunt you down and—"
Naruto held up a hand. "Hold up. Let's recap for the audience, because some people weren't there for my little vacation to Apokolips. So, picture this: I'm bored. Like, really bored. So, I hop on over to your lovely hellscape of a planet, and I see you looking all serious and evil and stuff. Naturally, I decide that's unacceptable. So, what do I do? I replace your ceremonial robes with a bright pink tutu during a war council. Mid-meeting."
A gasp rippled through the civilians. Desaad twitched, gritting his teeth in irritation.
"Oh, and then," Naruto continued, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "I may or may not have swapped Darkseid's Omega Beam targeting system with a collection of cat videos. He was… not amused...Nope, Not at all."
Desaad roared. "You dare speak of that shame?! You turned the entire court against me! You made me a laughingstock! I spent months recovering my status!"
"Months?" Naruto whistled. "Man, tough crowd. Though, in my defense, it was hilarious. I still have the footage."
He snapped his fingers. Instantly, a giant holographic screen materialized in the sky, playing the moment—Desaad, mid-sentence, realizing he was wearing a ballerina's outfit while Granny Goodness choked on her drink in the background.
The entire city—yes, even the terrified civilians—burst into laughter.
Desaad let out an inhuman screech. "ENOUGH!"
He lunged, dark energy lashing out like a tidal wave of pure hatred. But Naruto? Naruto just grinned.
"Finally!" He leapt off the billboard, flipping midair. "I was worried this was gonna be a monologue-heavy day!"
Desaad's attack shattered the billboard into a million burning fragments, sending debris flying. Naruto landed effortlessly on the ground, hands in his coat pockets.
"Oooh, scary! But you know what would be even scarier?" Naruto snapped his fingers.
Desaad blinked. He suddenly felt… off.
The villain looked down.
His once-imposing robes were now bright yellow with polka dots. His gauntlets were gone, replaced with giant, plush Mickey Mouse gloves. And worst of all? He now wore a tutu again.
A hot pink one.
Desaad froze.
The civilians? They howled with laughter.
Naruto cupped his chin. "Huh. You know, you kinda rock the tutu. You're giving prima ballerina energy. It really accentuates y—"
"ENOUGH WITH THE TUTU!" Desaad screamed, throwing another blast of dark energy.
Naruto dodged effortlessly, flipping onto a taxi, then onto a lamppost. "Y'know, for a supposed genius of pain and suffering, you really lack variety in your moveset."
"Ah ah ah!" Naruto wiggled his finger. "I'm not done yet." With another snap, A holographic projection appeared in the sky.
A very disturbing image.
A high-definition picture of Granny Goodness.
In a bikini.
Desaad's soul left his body.
The Apokoliptian scientist stumbled backward, eyes wide, mouth agape, a horrified croak escaping his throat.
Naruto himself recoiled. "Okay, even I regret that one."
BLACK BOX: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO US?!
Naruto gagged in horror, looking at what he had conjured. "I don't know! It was supposed to be funny! Now I need therapy!"
Desaad, meanwhile, had collapsed to his knees, rocking back and forth, whispering, "Make it stop… make it stop…"
But Naruto wasn't done and neither was Darksied's torturer.
Desaad, who was traumatised for life, unleashed a flurry of dark tendrils in rage.
"DIE, MORNINGSTAR!!!!"
Naruto dodged, twisting through the air with an almost lazy grace. He landed, hands still in his pockets, whistling. "I gotta ask, though—why me? Why not, I dunno, Superman? Batman? Someone who actually takes this stuff seriously?"
"Because you are a menace!" Desaad spat, eyes wild.
"Aww. You flatter me."
Then, suddenly—
A new voice echoed, appearing as a black text box floating mid-air.
BLACK BOX: In fairness, Naruto, he does have a point. You did ruin his entire villainous reputation with a tutu prank.
Naruto sighed. "Okay, but in my defense, it was hilarious."
BLACK BOX: Yeah, but now he's trying to murder you in the middle of Times Square.
"Eh, happens more often than you'd think."
Desaad stared at the floating black text box. "What in the name of Apokolips is this madness?!"
Naruto turned to him, deadpan. "Oh, don't mind that. It's just The Narrative...Me talking to the writer...Ya know"
Desaad's eye twitched. "You are insane."
Naruto beamed. "Took you way too long to figure that out, buddy." Desaad, his skeletal face twisted in rage, let out a guttural growl thirsty for vengeance and murder.
"Ohhh, he growls!" Naruto gasped, hands on his cheeks. "So scary!" Then, without missing a beat, he pointed dramatically. "Quick! Someone play the Imperial March! I feel like this moment really needs a soundtrack."
BLACK BOX: We do not have the budget for official Star Wars music.
Naruto sighed, shaking his head. "Tragic. Fine. I'll do it myself—"
And then he hummed the tune. Perfectly.
Desaad twitched. "ENOUGH!"
He lunged, the ground beneath his feet cracking as he propelled himself forward with unnatural speed, his clawed hands glowing with dark energy. But Naruto? Naruto just grinned.
"Alright," he said, cracking his knuckles. "Let's dance, mate"
Desaad struck first, his hands morphing into jagged, obsidian-like claws that slashed through the air. Shadows surged around him like living tendrils, lashing out, aiming to ensnare Naruto in their suffocating grasp.
But Naruto—being Naruto—was already three steps ahead.
He leaned backward, dodging the first swipe with a graceful Matrix-style backbend. The shadows lunged, only for Naruto to snap his fingers—and suddenly, they froze in midair, locked in place as if reality itself had hit the pause button.
"Whoops!" Naruto smirked. "Did I break the game?"
Desaad's eyes widened in fury. "What trickery is this?!"
"Trickery? My dear tutu-wearing nemesis, this is raw talent!"
With a flick of his wrist, Naruto rewound the shadows—literally making them slither back into Desaad like a video playing in reverse. The villain stumbled, momentarily disoriented.
"Impossible!"
Naruto wagged a finger. "Oh, Desaad, buddy. You really need to brush up on your comic book rules. See, when you're fighting someone like me—"
Desaad screamed in frustration, His energy exploded outward, a vortex of darkness consuming everything in a ten-block radius. Street signs bent and warped. Buildings groaned under the sheer pressure. Car alarms blared in unison like a very uncoordinated orchestra.
And Naruto? He was laughing his ass off.
"Dude!!!"He gasped between chuckles. "You're like every anime villain ever! 'How dare you humiliate me?! I shall now unleash my true power!' It's like I'm living in an episode of Dragon Ball Z!"
BLACK BOX: Technically, this is a DC universe crossover, not anime.
"Pfft. Like that ever stopped anyone."
Desaad lunged again, this time channeling pure Omega-level entropy magic. The air around him warped, twisting into an abyssal black hole that threatened to devour everything.
"DIE, YOU INSOLENT FOOL!"
Naruto rolled his eyes. "God, you're so dramatic."Then, in an instant, he vanished. Not with speed. Not with teleportation. Not with any form of conventional movement.
He just—wasn't there anymore.
Desaad blinked. Then, a voice whispered directly into his ear.
"Boo."Desaad jumped, whirling around to see Naruto literally reclining in midair, as if lying on an invisible hammock.
"How—?!!!"
"Magic!" Naruto wiggled his fingers. "Or, y'know, being half-Celestial. Potato, po-tah-to."
With a snap, reality bent again—this time, Desaad found himself plummeting straight into a conjured kiddie pool filled with rubber ducks.
Quack. Quack.
Naruto, now wearing sunglasses, took a sip from a randomly conjured coconut drink. "Whew. Cosmic combat is exhausting. You having fun down there?"
Desaad's entire body trembled. "I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"See, I hear you saying that," Naruto mused, tossing his drink aside, "but all I can think about is how amazing you'd look in a Broadway musical." Desaad howled, summoning his full power—black lightning cracked from the sky, the entire city trembling under the sheer force of his rage.
Naruto's grin widened. "Ah. Finally. Now we're talking, Mate."
With a mere thought, his own aura ignited.Golden fire erupted around him, celestial energy radiating with a heat that was otherworldly. His blue eyes burned with an almost divine glow, his very presence warping the fabric of existence around him. The storm clouds split apart, forced back by the sheer magnitude of his power.
"You want a real fight, Desaad?" Naruto cracked his neck.
"Fine. Let's give the audience a show!"And with that, he charged.
Final Round: The Half Celestial vs. The Sadist.
Desaad lashed out first, his darkness forming razor-sharp tendrils that struck like vipers. Naruto weaved through them with supernatural ease, flipping over one, twisting past another, phasing through a third like it wasn't even there.
Then, with a snap, he reversed the attack—Desaad's own darkness turned against him, the tendrils coiling around their master.
"WHAT—?!"
Naruto appeared above him, smirking. "Ever seen Doctor Strange? Because this is some serious mirror dimension energy right here."Desaad roared, breaking free just in time to see Naruto's fist rocketing toward his face.
CRACK!
The impact sent Desaad flying, smashing through three buildings before he skidded across the pavement like a ragdoll.Naruto landed gracefully, dusting off his coat.
"You done yet, mate?" Desaad, battered, humiliated, and utterly defeated, could only tremble in rage.
"You... I..."
Naruto wagged a finger. "You should really stop monologuing so much."
Then, with a snap of his fingers, like Supernatural style—
WHOOSH!!!
A golden portal appeared beneath Desaad.
"W-WAIT—"
FWOOSH!!!
Desaad vanished, sucked back into Apokolips.
Naruto dusted off his hands. "Welp. That's that!"
BLACK BOX: That was mean.
Naruto snorted. "Oh, please, like Darkseid won't punish him way worse than I ever could."
He cracked his knuckles, stretched, and smirked at the camera.
Naruto dusted off his hands. "Well, that was fun!"
BLACK BOX: You literally traumatized him.
Naruto shuddered in disgust while shaking his head. "I also traumatized myself. That mental image of Granny Goodness in a bikini? Never leaving my brain."
BLACK BOX: You did that to yourself.
It was not just Desaad who was traumatised for life but Naruto as well.
Naruto sighed dramatically while pouted as he crossed his arms. "The things I suffer for the greater good. Not even my ex selling me to Trigon was this bad compared to that...that horror."
BLACK BOX: Now now, Romeo don't cry. It can't be that 'bad'.
And with that, he walked off into the night—just another day in the life of Naruto Morningstar.
He returned immediately again as he chuckled nervously while looking around at mess caused by Desaad.
BLACK BOX: Excuse me! If you haven't pranked Desaad then this wouldn't have happened in the first place genius.
"Shut up, asshole." Naruto glared at the box. Closing his eyes while raising his hand, Naruto whispered 'Repario' as he snapped his fingers.
"Zee and Di are going to kill me for this." Naruto Morningstar muttered to himself as he regretted his life choices.
(TO BE CONTINUED… Maybe.)