A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews, favorites and follows after last chapter! Huge thank you to lanamarymack for alpha/beta reading this chapter! You can find me on tumblr (nauticalparamour) where I post sneak peeks, story updates and answer questions.
Please let me know what you thought of chapter twenty-nine and be on the lookout for chapter thirty soon!
The emotional crash was to come after the Malfoy wedding, when all of the pointless nervous energy that was keeping Hermione going seemed to dissipate. She was tired of fighting with her family — of skulking around Grimmauld Place, trying to hide away from everyone. It was exhausting to continuously worry about her own future nuptials, especially when they were still a ways off, and more so when she had no ability to do anything about them at the moment.
That was probably why, after weeks of turning tail every time she found herself in a room with Regulus, she stilled when she entered the library on a rainy afternoon in August, and found him sitting in her favorite window seat, fire pleasantly crackling in the fireplace.
"Please don't go," he said, standing up when he saw that it was her. "Please stop running away from me, Hermione. I can't stand that we aren't talking and... and I don't know what to do to... to make things right between us."
Hermione sighed, her mind already made up. She closed the door behind her and walked over to the window seat, until she was face to face with Regulus. It was painful to see the dark circles under his grey eyes, knowing that he'd obviously been very torn up over the rift between them. And to know that she was at least partly responsible for his current state , avoiding him like she had, made her heart clench.
"I — I don't mean to run away, Regulus," she whispered, sitting down amongst the pillows, resting her head on the window pain. "I just don't want to say something that I'll regret. But now... I don't want to be fighting with you, either."
It was true. Regulus had been her fiercest supporter since they had first met, even though he didn't really have any reason to do so. He'd kept her confidence, stood up for her, and helped her find her footing in this unusual new world she found herself in. She knew that he wanted the best for her, but she just couldn't wrap her heart around the idea that he thought marriage was what was best for her.
Regulus returned to his vacated seat next to her. He pushed his curls from his eyes and looked at her for a moment. "I guess I just... I don't understand why you are so upset with me. Why you called me a traitor," he added, his voice barely higher than a whisper. "Rabastan is the better choice of the Lestrange brothers." He wet his lips, carefully choosing his words. "Would you have preferred Rodolphus?"
Hermione shook her head, making a face at the suggestion. There was no way that she would have consented to that big brute of a wizard, especially knowing that he was a marked Death Eater after all. "I would have preferred neither," she answered, fiercely. "I don't — I don't want to get married so young. To be forced to marry someone that I didn't get to choose is just... It's hard for me to accept."
Regulus cracked a smile. "I guess that's understandable," he said. "I forget that you didn't grow up this way. Can I tell you something?"
She nodded, wondering what wisdom he was going to have for her.
"I thought that you would be happy that I chose Rabastan," he said, his eyebrows drawing together. "He is a great match. I don't know why you are so opposed to him."
"Regulus," she said, feeling tears spring to her eyes. When she closed her eyes tightly, she could still see Rabastan chasing them through the Ministry of Magic, wand drawn. They were children and he'd sent curses and terrible jinxes their way. "Did you ever consider that I might have knowledge about other people besides just our family?"
It took a few moments for Regulus to understand what it was that she was saying, but once he did, she immediately noticed the change in his posture. "Hermione, do you know Rab from the future?" he asked, his voice even — barely controlled.
She nodded, feeling the first tear slide down her cheek. She wiped it away furiously with the back of her hand, hoping to keep control of herself. "Yes, I know Rabastan Lestrange. And Rodolphus. And Bellatrix."
"What did he do to you?" he demanded, his hand clenched tightly at his side at the thought that Rabastan might have hurt her somehow.
"He's a Death Eater, same as his brother and sister-in-law," Hermione said bitterly. "He was in the fight, before I came here. He didn't fight me specifically, that was a wizard called Dolohov. Bellatrix is the one who sent me here."
"I don't understand, if it was just that he was a Death Eater, you've already gotten a promise out of his father about him taking the Mark," he said, relaxing a bit to hear that Rabastan had not directly harmed her.
"It's not just that. The three of them were in Azkaban a long time, until Voldemort broke them out," she explained. "They went after an auror couple after Voldemort died and tortured them past the point of insanity. It left their son — my friend, Neville — without parents. Basically an orphan, from the time that he was one years old. What kind of a person could do that? To use the Cruciatus Curse on someone until their mind couldn't take it anymore... to... to listen to their screams and not let up. That's who Rabastan Lestrange is."
Regulus looked stunned for a moment. Whatever the worst thing in his mind that he'd conjured up, it could not have compared to the woe that had befallen Alice and Frank Longbottom. Then, he seemed to snap out of it. "No," he said forcefully. "Not Rabastan. He wouldn't do that."
"Regulus, please don't argue with me," she said, looking away. "I know this to be true. He was tried and found guilty."
"I've known Rabastan for years, Hermione. Shared a room with him for six of them," he continued. "I know Rabastan and I know his character. I'm just... that's not something that he would ever do. I'm confident."
"Well, he did. I remember the details of it," she insisted, though her mind was already beginning to spin with hypotheticals.
"It hasn't happened yet," Regulus insisted, reaching over to grab her hand softly. "Something must have happened between now and then because I just know that Rabastan wouldn't do something like that, something so horrid."
"Of course something happened," she scoffed at her brother. "He became a Death Eater."
"You've already changed that," he reminded her.
Hermione blinked at him. Of course, she had gotten Edmund to promise that Rabastan wouldn't be forced to take the Dark Mark, but she was not naive enough to think that meant that he would never become one. "Yes, his father won't make him do it. However, I said nothing to hinder him taking the Mark if he does it of his own accord," she reminded him.
She wasn't sure why she hadn't asked to prevent it entirely. Maybe she was giving Rabastan the opportunity to show her who he really was. She couldn't bear the thought of the only thing holding him back from choosing that life being some vow to her and in reality his support for the Dark Lord would always be simmering under the surface. No, if Rabastan wanted to become a Death Eater, she wanted to know about it. She wanted to know who her husband really was.
"Make him understand that he can't take the Mark then," Regulus said, like it was the easiest thing in the whole world. "You've already helped me see that it was the wrong path and now I can't imagine ever having agreed to it in the first place. When I hear Bernie talking, all I can think about is how stupid he sounds."
Hermione sighed. Regulus really was so positive that everything could work out, that she had a magic wand that could fix all the issues she knew were coming. Only with her experience over the last year, she was beginning to doubt how much she'd actually be able to affect. And, she was worried that the changes she was making might be making things worse. Would having Bellatrix openly at his side only make Voldemort more dangerous?
"I'm — I'm afraid," Hermione admitted. "Every small change I make leads to hundreds of unexpected changes. Bellatrix and Rodolphus do get married in the timeline that I came from. She's Bellatrix Lestrange. And the things that I've told Sirius... I —"
Her breath caught in her throat when she realized just how reckless she had been, swanning in and telling people little bits and pieces in the hopes that it would make things better. Only, it would be years and years before Hermione knew if anything positive had changed. She wanted Harry to grow up with parents and for Voldemort to be truly defeated and dead. She wanted Sirius to live. But what if, in selfishly doing what she wanted, she made a worse outcome for everyone else?
"The future that I've come from is less and less recognizable to me every day and I just worry that I'm making a horrible mistake in trying to change things," she admitted. "But at the same time, I can't in good conscience leave my friends and our family to their previous fates."
Regulus reached over and wrapped her up tightly in a hug, letting her head rest on his shoulder. "You just have to trust yourself, Hermione," he said. "Things might not happen exactly as you expect, but I don't think you are ruining anything by making some changes. Salazar, I'd be dead in less than a year, if it wasn't for you."
Hermione did laugh a little bit at the idea. "I'm glad you'll be around for a long time, Reggie," she admitted. "I couldn't imagine being in this... insane family if I didn't have you with me."
"And you have to let us help you sometimes, too," he added, looking at her softly. "I know that this marriage isn't what you wanted, but Rabastan... just give him a chance, okay? A chance to prove that he isn't the wizard from your future."
"Okay," she agreed, though the promise felt hollow. "What other choice do I have? Rodolphus?"
Regulus laughed at her quip. "There's still time to tell Edmund that you changed your mind," he teased her back. His grin fell and his face grew serious once again. "Listen, I'm... I'm not blind. I've spent a lot of evenings in the library revising with you and Rabastan and I've seen the way that he looks at you — the way that you look at each other."
"Oh?" she asked, her breath catching in her throat in surprise. "And how is that?"
"Secret glances, little smiles," he answered. "Like you are besotted."
Hermione shook her head, her curls flying around her with her vehemence. "He doesn't like me," she insisted, knowing that it couldn't possibly be true.
"Oh, come off it, Hermione!" he scoffed. "Didn't you see him at the betrothal meeting? He looked absolutely miserable —"
"— miserable at the thought of marrying me —"
"Miserable at the thought of you marrying Rodolphus instead of him," Regulus corrected her sagely. "His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he realized that we were suggesting he take his brother's place instead. Then, he completely relaxed. All hope was not lost."
Hermione felt her heart tighten with something that felt an awful lot like yearning. She was almost lulled into the idea that Regulus was right, only then she remembered her last discussion with Rabastan and how he'd cautioned her about not being a blood traitor. Now he knew the truth that she was born of squibs and he was probably more disgusted by the idea of her than ever. Arcturus had even apologized for it, after all. There was no secret what these purebloods thought about it.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "He... he knows the truth about my heritage now and I'm sure that any feelings that you've purported to sense have dried up. He's just doing his family duty, the same as I am."
Regulus looked at her like she'd lost her mind, shaking his head softly. "Alright, whatever you think," he answered, softly. "But, you've promised that you'd give him a chance. I'm sure that he isn't going to disappoint you, no matter what you've dreamed up."
"I'm glad we aren't fighting anymore," she admitted, thinking about how nice it was to talk to Regulus about these things.
"You were the only one who was fighting in the first place," Regulus insisted. "All I did was be a good brother. Make the best of a bad situation."
"The best brother," Hermione agreed, cheekily. "Now, shall we talk to Mother about going to Diagon Alley to get school supplies. After this summer, I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts."