What Fairy Girls Want
by Ulquiorra9000
Chapter 21: have a drink on me (or a lot. whatever)
"I never thought I'd actually go in this place," Lucy admitted as she and Mirajane ordered their first drinks at Legacy Lounge, a fine downtown bar. "Thanks for inviting me here for a girls' night out, Mira!"
"It's my pleasure," Mirajane said with a smile. She tossed her silvery hair. "Laxus and I go here often, and so do our friends. Now it's your turn!"
Lucy looked around at the glitzy, high-end bar, then looked down at her simple cocktail dress. "I almost feel like I don't belong in here."
"What? No no, you look perfect," Mirajane assured her. "And I love seeing this side of you, Lucy. Don't you feel so grown up?"
"I... guess I do," Lucy said with a modest smile. She kinda figured Mirajane's sudden invite for a girls' night out would involve a place like this. But to actually be here still felt a little nerve-wracking!
Good thing bars always served alcohol.
"Is something on your mind? You're making a face," Mirajane said. She leaned a little closer on her bar stool, her vivid blue eyes fixed on Lucy's mug.
"Oh! Um..." Lucy winced. "It's... nothing."
Mirajane kept studying her with those eyes.
"Well..." Lucy fought for her words. "I get the feeling you're testing me, Mirajane, and I'll say it straight: I want to impress you. But what if I fail? What if I don't belong in your and Laxus' fancy world?"
Mirajane reached over and rested her hand on Lucy's own. "You always belong in your friends' world, Lucy. I promise."
Lucy took one look at the sympathetic expression on Mirajane's face and broke into a wide, happier smile this time. "You're right. In fact, I'm honored by all this." As she spoke, their fancy mixed drinks were served, with Lucy's coming in a 9 oz glass. It had a peachy color with some green mixed in, plus a lime wedge and two ice cubes. Lucy took a sip, and wow! This rocked! Natsu ought to try one of these sometime.
"I just wanted to treat you," Mirajane explained herself. "But if you'd rather go somewhere else..."
"I'm staying right here," Lucy declared, taking another sip. Mmmmmmm! "Maybe it's the drink talking, but I already feel like I belong here after all."
"Wonderful. Because..." Mirajane took a sip of her own drink and grinned wolfishly. "I really am testing you. Sorry, but I'm just dying to see how far you and Natsu have come, and how much further you'll go!"
Lucy returned her cunning look. "You think you can drag me to a posh, upper-crust place like this and dissect my brain because you're curious?"
Mirajane didn't waver. Neither did Lucy.
"If that's the game you're gonna play," Lucy declared, "we're going to need more drinks!" She downed her entire drink (seriously, yum!) and raised her hand to order another. Mirajane did the same.
"I get the feeling you haven't lost your touch," Lucy added. "You and Laxus made fools of yourselves at the Crocus University stadium, but you're the same queen bee as ever. So, you think you can take me on?"
Mirajane tossed her hair again. "It's not a fight, Lucy. I just want to spend a fun evening auditing your love life and see how you're coming along. You won the love battle for Natsu's heart! I've waited long enough to find out how you did it."
"Did you do this for Gajeel and Levy when they got together?"
"Mmmm-hmmm! And Levy spilled her guts after just two drinks in this place," Mirajane said ominously as Lucy's second drink was served. She locked her sapphire eyes on Lucy's waiting rum and Coke. "Are you ready, my dear Lucy Heartfilia?"
Lucy raised her glass and toasted her friend. "Come and get me."
She drank.
o*o*o*o*
"First round's on me, pal," Laxus said as he and Natsu took their seats at a downtown sports bar. "I'm a regular here. I know all the best stuff."
Natsu grinned. "Right on! Thanks."
"You won't be thanking me later," Laxus said loftily as he placed the order. "I called you here for a very special purpose, Natsu."
"To bet on tonight's game?" Natsu pointed at a nearby flatscreen TV showing a local baseball game. It was still in the first inning.
Laxus shook his head. "You're gonna give up your secrets, not your cash. I'm curious, Natsu. You barely gave any girls a second look last year, but this year, you dated three of 'em before you landed on Lucy."
"You may now pick your jaw up from the floor."
"My jaw's just fine," Laxus told him with a teasing grin. "I've recently caught up with all my other buddies, so now it's your turn. Might as well start with this topic."
Natsu cocked his head and gave Laxus a look as their glass beer mugs arrived. "Did Mirajane put you up to this?"
Laxus blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Sure, we get along ever since that day you pried that dog's jaw off my arm, but spending a whole evening chatting about love?" Natsu smirked. "I can already see Mirajane standing behind you, pushing you into it."
Laxus paused, then burst out laughing and downed half his drink in one go. "Fine, you got me. This ain't really my thing. But Mirajane was so excited to audit your relationship, and not even she could interrogate the two of you alone. So, I'm taking this half of the job."
Natsu snorted as he chugged his own beer. Whew, that goes down nice and easy. "Now we're getting down to brass tacks."
"You ready?" Laxus asked, towering over Natsu and fixing him with the eyes of an apex predator.
Natsu took another drink. "Sure. What do you wanna know?"
o*o*o*o*
"First, I want to know whether the sex on your first date was your idea or his," Mirajane asked casually.
Lucy nearly choked on her drink. "What in the world? How did you know we did that at all?! I never told anyone that!"
"Oh, please. It was written all over your face the next day. One glance, and I knew."
Lucy rolled her eyes. "I thought that was a made-up cliche from romance movies."
"It's 100% true, my little Lucy," Mirajane said with a crafty grin. She swirled her mixed drink in one hand. "So?"
"Uh... it was mutual," Lucy said slowly. "Neither of us even asked. By the time we got back to my place, our actions did all the talking. It just... happened. Like fate."
"Oooooooh. So it was fate that you got porked so hard you could barely walk straight the next day?"
"M-Mira...!" Lucy yelped. "Again, how could you tell?"
"These eyes miss nothing."
"Ugh."
"Second question." Mirajane took a sip and continued, "How jealous were you that Natsu was also seeing Cana and my little sister at the time?"
Lucy didn't like the answer to that one. "Not at all."
"I should get a fire extinguisher. Your pants are ablaze!"
Lucy sighed. "Fine. Yes, it felt awkward being part of a little harem. It's funny in shojo manga, but it's... well, stressful in real life. I tried to make it fun, but it nearly destroyed my friendships with Cana and Lisanna."
"Yes, Lisanna felt the same way," Mirajane admitted. "I'm so glad she and you were able to patch things up. Same with Cana."
Lucy smiled. "I could never hurt them." She motioned for a third drink. Ah, she was getting a little buzzed by now.
"Indeed. Now, let's stick to the fun questions," Mirajane said, cracking her neck. "What was your first position when you and Natsu consummated your love on the first date?"
o*o*o*o*
"What?! Man, I don't remember that shit!" Natsu cried at Laxus' super-nosy question. On the TV, the batter hit a total homer.
"Seriously? You disappoint me," Laxus said loftily, taking a drink from his second beer.
"I don't even remember what I had for breakfast yesterday."
"Do tell. I remember my first date with Mira," Laxus said, waxing nostalgic before Natsu's very eyes. "We had just gotten back from the restaurant, tummies full of good eats and blood buzzing with alcohol, and everything just fell into place. There was my date, sprawled on the bed, panting like a dog, already fondling her own breasts as I got my pants off. And then..."
He motioned crudely, and Natsu tried very hard not to picture it. But loathe as he was to admit it...
"You must have felt like a musclebound god of lovemaking after that," Natsu confessed.
Laxus nodded. "Indeed. I hope you can follow my example, Natsu. You have much to learn."
"I ain't your disciple," Natsu protested. "What would I even learn from you, anyway?"
o*o*o*o*
"All kinds of things!" Mirajane said with a giggle, her eyes sparkling. "The human mouth can do so many incredible things in the bedroom, Lucy. The next time you have your legs apart, ask Natsu to do some of this..." She motioned, using her empty shot glass for a prop, and the uncomfortable bar patrons started sidling away. The bartender, meanwhile, went pink and fanned himself.
Lucy, for her part, leaned closer and studied carefully. This was genius! Natsu's cunnilingus game was weak sauce compared to this! What Mirajane described was...was art!
"You found a man who makes you happy," Mirajane added with a hiccup. She had already downed four drinks. "You feel like you can do anything, right? So do it!"
"Yeah! I will!" Lucy raised her fist, giggling her head off.
"Next question!" Mirajane declared. "If you and Natsu could fuck anywhere in the world, where would it be?"
o*o*o*o*
"On the dean's desk. Duh!" Natsu declared woozily when Laxus brought up the topic. "That motherfucker almost got me expelled three times already! What's the big deal if I almost burned down the science lab? Or released live chickens into the admin offices? Or formally petitioned for skateboard gymnastics to be a mandatory class for freshmen? Oh, and there was that time I helped Gray and Elfman haze these guys who joined our frat. Which is why MCC no longer has frats."
Laxus actually slammed his forehead down on the smooth wooden bar in drunk laughter. "That was you? I shoulda known, Natsu! Half the school's rules were made because of you and your little friends!"
"Isn't it because of you jumbotrons are no longer used in college soccer games?"
"Shut up! Dude!" Laxus cried, bolting upright and making a shushing motion as he went bright pink. "People might hear you!"
Based on the looks the other patrons were giving him, it was too late for that. Laxus groaned and ordered another beer.
"So," Natsu said, enjoying how the tables had turned, "do you ever let Mirajane dominate you?"
o*o*o*o*
"Yes! And it was amazing!" the intoxicated Mirajane slurred. "Sometimes I like getting trussed up in the bedroom and getting fucked like an animal, but last month, Laxus agreed to get tied up on his hands and knees, and blindfolded, too! I slapped his ass with things that have no business touching a human butt!"
Lucy shrieked with laughter. "Like what? Like what?!"
"Like... the remains of Laxus' rotisserie chicken from the fridge," Mirajane cackled. "Then his laptop! I turned it on and let the keys hit his ass, then saved the text in a word processor. It's the best love letter Laxus' rump ever wrote me!"
Lucy slapped the bar with mirth, almost choking with laughter as her head buzzed with alcohol. Whew, this bar was so trashy! Why did Lucy ever feel intimidated by this place? The patrons here were so crude! But don't tell anyone that! Or Legacy Lounge's reputation would be ruined...!
"Let me ask you: what comes next?" Lucy wheezed.
o*o*o*o*
"I don't know! That's the worst part!" Laxus howled in despair. He had thirteen empty beer mugs around him like an audience watching him fall apart. Lol. "Natsu, don't fall into the same trap I did. Mira and I ran out of fun ideas! We just interfere in other couples' business to feel better about ourselves."
"It's okay, man. Everyone gets stuck in a rut now and then," Natsu said, swaying on his bar stool as he clapped a hand to Laxus' broad back. "Until then, what do you think Lucy and I should do?"
o*o*o*o*
"You should reach for the stars! Wheeeeeeeee!" Mirajane cried happily, waving her hands in the air and looking up at the ceiling. "Do anything, Lucy! Do something crazy or hard that you were too scared to do! Okay?"
Lucy giggled. "When we're in the bedroom, Natsu gets crazy and hard for me."
"Like when you bought that scandalous lingerie?"
"Exactly! Worked like a charm!"
"That's my girl!" Mirajane offered a high five, and when Lucy obliged her, the woozy Mirajane was almost knocked right off her stool. Oopsies!
"But to answer your question..." Lucy said.
o*o*o*o*
"... we should do somethin' that inspires us," Natsu declared. "You and Mirajane are like the king and queen of campus. I look at you, and I see a power couple that can do anything. I need that, too."
"You're too kind," Laxus sobbed happily.
"I don't have nothin' goin' on," Natsu admitted with a clumsy shrug. "Should I ask Lucy to go to the gym and work out with me? I could be her trainer!"
"Naw, she's the bookish type. Like Levy and Evergreen," Laxus said. "Does she have any idea what to do?"
o*o*o*o*
"Just one idea," Lucy admitted. "But it's too scary! What if they don't let me go?"
"Who's they?" Mirajane asked.
"Week after next, there's gonna be a big fancy... uh..." Lucy screwed up her face in concentration. It was hard to remember stuff when you're this drunk! Shit! "Party for people in media. From all over Fiore, in fact! Journalists, media gurus, producers, all in a glitzy party!"
Mirajane's eyes widened. "That's a gala! Fancy parties are always galas!"
"Yeah! That's a fact!" Wait, was it?
Mirajane pointed. "I've got it, Lucy! If you wanna get in that gala party, just let them know I sent you!"
"Are you a journalist, too?" Lucy blurted out.
"My aunt works in the Magnolia Broadcast Corporation!" Mirajane announced happily. "She's one of the top execs there. I'll hook you up, Lucy! I'll get you in that party!"
"WHOOOOOOOO!" Lucy threw up her hands in the air and nearly fell over. "Mirajane, you bad bitch, you did it!"
"Am I the best, or what?"
"You are! I love you!"
"Are you about to make out with me?"
"I should! This gala could be huge for my future career, Mirajane! I needed this!"
"In that case, here we go!" Mirajane leaned forward, closing her eyes and puckering up her lips.
Then she bowed her head and started snoring. Shoot, just when Lucy was about to experience something new!
But seriously, Lucy thought as she hailed a cab to half-drag a semi-conscious Mirajane home, she ought to mark her calendar...
o*o*o*o*
Damn, it felt good to spend a couple of hours with the campus king Laxus Dreyar at the bar! Natsu couldn't stop grinning to himself as he trotted down the evening downtown streets, looking for a good spot to hail a cab.
Lucy. Lucy! Natsu's amazing girlfriend! The fire in his belly, the sun in his sky, the air in his lungs. What would he do without her? Chatting with Laxus fired him like never before to just head right over to Lucy's apartment and make sweet love to her like he'd never see her again. How could he spend even five minutes away from his queen? How?!
"14th and Daisy Street," Natsu said calmly and politely as he climbed into a cab, arms folded in the back seat as the driver took him home. He still had all those beers sloshing around in his brain, and he felt loose and easy tonight. If Lucy weren't already having a girls' night out with Mirajane, Natsu would pay the cabbie double to floor it en route to Lucy's place!
Then...
"Huh?" Natsu stared at his smartphone's screen as Alzack's number came up. He answered it. "Whassup."
"Natsu! You're the first one who picked up," Alzack's strained voice said. "Can you help me out here?"
"I'm kinda plastered, my guy."
"Ugh. Well, you don't have to walk in a perfectly straight line to help me," Alzack told him. "I'm looking for it. Any chance you can pop over?"
Natsu rolled his eyes. "What's it? Did you finally lose your virginity?"
"Real funny, wiseass," Alzack snapped. "Please? Call it a favor."
"I was gonna go home and have a snack before turning in."
"I'll throw in some spicy beef jerky. Come on, my place isn't far from yours."
"Hang on. Can't Gajeel or Jellal help? Or are they out?"
"They're out for the night."
Natsu mulled it over. Then he thought of how nice and helpful Mirajane and Laxus were being for him and Lucy. Why not pay it forward? "Be right there."
"You're the best, man!"
Natsu hung up. "Hey, uh, can we go to 22nd and Fairview Avenue? Change of plans."
The cabbie took a right, and before long, Natsu was in Alzack's apartment, helping Alzack dig through his super-cluttered closet. Seriously, half of this crap must have dated back to Alzack's middle school days. Why else would all this stuff be so tacky?! Ugh!
"Thanks again," Alzack said as the epic treasure hunt for it continued. "I only have a couple of hours or so until Bisca comes over for the night. She'll be here at 9:30."
"Why are you doin' this in secret?" Natsu wondered as he poked through an old shoebox of Alzack's baseball cards.
"It's because... well..." Alzack went bright red. "It's a special gift for Bisca. If she caught me looking for something, I'd have to lie about it, and my mom didn't raise no liar! No, sir!"
Natsu was now picking his way through a different shoebox, this one stuffed with old video game cartridges and memory cards. "Okay, spill it. What's it? You're not gonna keep it a secret from me too, are you?"
"Ah, yes. The most important detail." Alzack fanned himself. "Promise not to tell anyone? Especially not blabbermouths like Loke and Juvia?"
"I promise. I swear on my pride!" Which wasn't saying a whole lot.
"It's..." Alzack swallowed. "It's the engagement ring I bought last week. Tonight was supposed to be the big night, but - HEY!"
Natsu was already on his phone, smiling widely as Gray picked up. "Yoooooo!" Natsu cried. "I just heard the sickest news! Did you know -"
"DUDE!" Alzack cried as he knocked the phone out of Natsu's hands with a dented wiffle ball bat. The phone landed in Alzack's dirty laundry hamper! Noooooo! It was now contaminated beyond hope!
"Hello? You still there?" came Gray's tiny voice from inside the pile of festering laundry.
Alzack motioned frantically. "Seriously, don't tell anyone about you-know-what! Not even Gray! You just know he'll tell his chatty girlfriend, and then -"
"They're not exactly boyfriend and girlfriend."
"F... fine, whatever! Still...!"
Natsu hiccuped. "Sorry, Alzack. I'm still pretty trashed from the bar. Didn't know what I was doing."
"Good. No one should know about that engagement ring," Alzack declared, then gasped and clapped his hands over his mouth. "Oh, fuck!"
"Ring?!" came Gray's voice. "Natsu, was that Alzack? Is he planning on propos -"
"Yaaaaah!" Natsu braced himself, then plunged a hand into Alzack's laundry and put the phone to his ear. "I'm going through a tunnel. There goes the signal!"
He hung up.
Alzack put a hand to his heart. "Do you think Gray will blab? I can't believe I just..."
"Hang on." Natsu texted Gray, stating: Keep that shit a secret! If you tell anyone, most of all Juvia, I'll have Laxus and Elfman hang you by your tightie-whities on the campus flagpole!
I won't go through THAT again. Consider my lips sealed! Gray texted back.
Natsu nodded. Freshman year would be the last time Gray Fullbuster ever lost a bet to anyone!
"So... you're that serious about Bisca. Congrats," Natsu said, and he resumed the search once an impatient Alzack motioned at him.
"Yeah. We're at that point," Alzack said fondly as he rifled through his sock drawer (and probably not for the first time). "I made up my mind when Bisca and I house-sat for my aunt and uncle a couple of weeks ago. It was like, we're ready for this. We're already considering finding a new apartment for just the two of us, but putting a ring on it makes it feel so real, you know?"
"Don't ask me. I'm a long way from the altar," Natsu admitted, flushing at the sudden image of a beaming Lucy Heartfilia in a white gown, holding a bouquet and with trumpet-tooting cherubs around her. He was already getting a stiffy!
"Well, I think you and Lucy are going just fine, regardless," Alzack said kindly.
"Hey, thanks. Best of luck to you and Bisca, too."
"Yeah, if I get lucky enough to find that ring I paid about a bajillion Jewels for!"
They didn't find it. Oops.
"Sorry I ended up wasting your time," Alzack said glumly as he and Natsu sat in the room, exhausted by the search. He groaned. "How am I supposed to do this now? Is it a sign that Bisca and I aren't ready? What if I'm making a mistake?"
"Don't get cold feet now, chum," Natsu said quickly. "Just get a good drink of water, sleep this off, then try again when you feel better tomorrow morning."
Alzack gave him a funny look. "Isn't that what you're supposed to do? You're not even sober yet."
Natsu chuckled. "You got me." Then he rose to his feet and saluted Alzack. "I still have faith in you, good sir! I'll even help you buy a second ring if I have to!"
"Thanks. But they're kinda expensive."
"Gajeel owes me 50 Jewels. That should help."
Alzack forced a laugh. "You'll need more than that! Well, good night. For now, let me worry about this. See you around."
Natsu gave him a quick thumbs-up before taking his leave. Wow, so Alzack and Bisca were 100% committed to their future together! Well, Bisca didn't know about the ring, but if Alzack felt ready for this, that meant he knew Bisca was equally ready. Natsu trusted Alzack to trust Bisca more than anything. They were a perfect couple.
Hmmmmm. How would Natsu catch up to that? He felt like he owed Lucy a few things to heat up the romance... what could she be in the mood for...?
o*o*o*o*
"Now this feels right," Cana Alberona declared cozily as she raised a full wineglass and a half-full wine bottle in MCC's best club ever. "I didn't even have to get hazed to join!"
"The wine and spirits club never had any hazing. The very thought!" Levy said loftily, folding her arms. "We'd never be so crude."
"Mmmmmmm! She speaks true," Jellal added.
"Best day of my life," Cana said happily as she took another hearty sip of red wine. "I should have thought of this sooner!"
"Don't forget, we also study wine history and culture, not just get faced in every meeting," Mirajane said with a nervous smile. "Also, we have a taste test next week, and Laxus' record has yet to be beaten!"
Laxus smirked. "I correctly identified twelve different flavors of wine and identified the valleys where they grew the grapes. Can you beat that, Cana?"
"I can drink your blond ass under the table," Cana shot back.
"Do it after you write your essay about your favorite winery," Laxus retorted.
"Oh, heck with it." Cana finished her glass, then tilted back the bottle to drink. "Aaaaah, that's the stuff!"
Mirajane clapped a hand over her face while Jellal stifled his laughter.
"Just remember, we're a classy club, not a sorority from a porno," Levy reminded the newest club member. "It'll be different for you than your house parties."
"Aw, for real? What a shame," Cana joked.
Seriously, though, thanks for the idea, Lucy, she mentally added. Cana's post-harem blues were all gone, and she had a new direction in life. One with bottle openers and university-sanctioned taste-testing! Who could complain about that?
Life was good.