-Tag-

I've got to admit, it was kind of funny seeing Darin get verbally attacked by the med-droid. Sure, I felt bad for him, but it was still hilarious.

After dinner, I walked into the recovery room with the Admiral to speak with Sadie. Darin tried to walk with us, but I put a hand up and told him that he would just make things worse. No idea where he is now, but oh well. He'll suck it up.

"Oh look. He actually listened," said the droid when he noted that Darin was not with us. To Sadie, he said "For the complete pain in the circuits he is, I must admit that he did a spectacular job repairing your body. Nobody tell him I said that. I want the hate to be mutual." With that, he wheeled out of the room. I noted that the Admiral was trying her best to suppress a grin.

"Wait, what did he mean about Darin?" Sadie asked, confused.

"He wants the hate between them to be mutual," I responded flatly, earning a laugh from the Admiral.

"No, not that. About Darin repairing me?"

"He didn't tell you?"

Sadie shook her head no, and the Admiral and I exchanged confused glances.

The Admiral cleared her throat and said "Well, when Darin carried you back here, you were basically dead. No life signs, nothing. No monitors could pick up a heartbeat, pulse rate, nothing. But he insisted that you were still alive, barely hanging on. We assumed he was in denial, but we didn't want to mess with him since he was… scary. So we did what we could to help him until he got back to normal. Put you in a bacta-tank, as per his request. How long was she in there? Two weeks? Three?"

"Three weeks and two days" I said.

"Yea. Twenty-three days straight in the bacta. All that time he never left the room except to use the bathroom. He said he was healing you through the Force. No idea how that works, but whatever. At twenty-three days, all the possible healing that could be done was done. Body was operational. But you still weren't back. So you were put in a med-bed for… how long?"

"Twelve days."

"Yea. So he was just sitting here with you for twelve days, unable to do anything to help. Then, a day before you woke up, he walked out of the room to shave or something, saying he had a vision. I don't know. I figured he was being weird again."

Sadie's mouth started to turn into a smile.

"So how long have you two been friends?"

"Since Darin got here. The Admiral and I have talked quite a lot about strategy, troops, and other work things at first, then to personal stuff and gossip and such.."

"You don't call her Catherine? Or Caty? Or Cathy? Always Admiral?"

"I have not been explicitly told to call her by her name, so I have respectfully called her Admiral as she outranks me."

"Wait what? I thought you were joking!" said Catherine, surprised.

"I was being cautious," I responded.

"Well, call me Catherine, or Caty, or Cathy."

"Will do, Admiral" I said with a slight smile.

Sadie shifted uncomfortably, and asked "Do either of you know what happened on Ryloth between Darin and Sylvia? Did he talk about it? Cause when I asked, he avoided the question."

It felt like the air was sucked completely out of the room.

"I've asked him how he managed to beat someone who was able to kill Fral Joren. All he said was 'hubris'. Other than that, nothing," Caty said. "Tag knows more than I do."

I was on the spot. As all eyes turned to me, I debated on how much to say. Darin wasn't talking and had good reason not to. "I don't know much. Most of the action happened when I wasn't around. There were hostages, and Darin sent us to free them while he went to the Sith alone. We easily overpowered the hairy beasts guarding them, then I went after him. When I got there, I saw you hanging from a wall, looking very dead, and Fral hanging next to you, sliced in two and very very dead. Darin was on the opposite side of the room with… someone. I couldn't recognize them, or tell anything about them. But he was punching them. The person was dead. No lightsaber wounds other than two missing hands, no blaster scoring, nothing. He beat them to death, and even after they were dead, he kept attacking. When I ordered him to stop, he looked at me, and I quite honestly was afraid for my life. It was like something snapped inside him."

Sadie sat silently and internalized this information. Finally, she mumbled "She got to him."

"Looks that way. But it didn't go as planned. He still won."

"I guess you're right."

The med-droid entered the room. "Does EVERYBODY that she meets have to say things that mess with her serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine levels? Out! Out with you two! Stop making her upset!"

"Her… her what?" I managed to say before we were roughly forced out and the door was closed in our faces.

"Now you know how it feels?"

I turned to see Darin sitting on the floor against the far wall with a knife and a block of wood, which he was carving. Little slivers of wood were on the ground around him.

"Where did you get that from?! Why are you making a mess on my ship?!" Caty cried.

He shrugged and continued carving little chunks off. "Found it in one of Fral's boxes. Always wondered how he got those little figurines." He waved the knife, and I noticed a box to his side with a bunch of intricately carved figurines of different creatures around the galaxy. I saw a Wampa, a Tauntaun, a Porg, a Wookie, and countless others.

"So what are you making?" I asked. He shrugged again.

"You know what you're doing?" I asked as a cut he made caused the wood to splinter, breaking off a much larger piece than intended.

"Not a clue," he responded. "You don't like me very much."

"That's not true."

"Not you. You." He pointed the knife behind me at Caty.

"That's not true," she said.

He put the knife down and looked at her. "That's bull and you and I both know it," he said confidently.

She opened and closed her mouth like a fish, but no words came out. He smiled triumphantly and went back to the block of wood. "You don't like me because I'm young. You think I'm inexperienced, incompetent, unfit to lead. I'm too emotional. Too much of a loose cannon." He grunted as he cut his finger. I watched a few drops hit the floor as he examined it curiously before healing the wound and going back to carving. "You think I don't care about the other people. About you, or Tag, or anyone else. You think I just take what I want with no regard for others. Kind of like this ship. You think I just asserted command. That I didn't earn it. That I assume that just because of my power, everyone will kneel before me. And on top of that, you think I'm all talk. That when it comes down to it, I'm not nearly as powerful as I pretend to be. I'm not as smart as I think. I'm not the person everyone sees. You blame me for Fral's death, and you blame me for Sadie almost dying. You despise me, but aren't able to say that because you feel like everybody else is under my little 'spell'. So you go along with this whole thing, you pretend to like me, but in reality you still believe in returning to the Order. The only reason you don't is you fear that I will kill you for leaving." He looked at her calmly.

She stood there and said nothing.

"Is this true?"

Silence from Catherine.

"Is this true?!"

She looked down at her feet and nodded.

"I understand most of your qualms with me. I too blame myself for what happened to Sadie and Master Joren. Even though I know I shouldn't, I still do. I had no control over that situation. The damage to the both of them was unavoidable. Nonetheless, they were only targeted because they were used to bait me, and for that I feel guilty. You are right about me being inexperienced. I am, and I won't deny it. I did not earn this ship. Now, I apologize if I come across as self-centered, or uncaring, or any of that. How are your parents?"

Caty seemed a little taken aback by the question, then suspiciously said "They're doing well. Why?"

"Master Joren found me at an orphanage by accident, took me as his padawan, and became like a father to me." His voice shook slightly, but he composed himself before continuing. "He was the only person who believed in me in the Order. Nobody else really liked me or accepted me because I was different. Then, Sadie came. She became my best friend. To see them both hanging there lifelessly, I snapped. Then when I sensed the barest trace of life from Sadie… I had no choice. If there was a chance to save her, I had to take it." He stopped whittling away and took a deep breath. "Point is, I haven't been myself recently. The whole time, I've been holding my breath, hoping against hope that Sadie would be okay. When she woke up, it was like I could breathe again." He went back to carving the wood and said "You're wondering why I'm saying all of these things. I'm trying to make you understand, and make you realize that most of your doubts about who I am, while they do make sense given the circumstances, are not in my opinion accurate to who I am. I understand that there's no way to prove this to you. I want you to trust me, and see me for who I really am and not for this shadow I've been. And for the case of leaving the Order, I want you to understand that I never belonged. Only one person in the Order gave me a chance. Everybody else shunned me. Fral was my only real reason to stay with the Order, and when he died, the connection shattered. However, I'm well aware of how difficult it could be to leave something you've known all your life. I want you to be honest with me. If you want to go back, please say so now and that will be worked out." He put the knife down and inspected the thin slice of wood that was left.

Catherine cleared her throat and said "Master Joren had a knack for choosing individuals who don't conform to the status quo."

Darin looked at her curiously. She said "I too never had much love for them. Fral was my only reason not to quit my schooling entirely. Heck, he was the only reason I could afford to continue my education."

"What would you have done had you quit?"

"Probably be a tailor like my pa. Look, what I'm saying is I'm staying here. The Order is a hypocritical group of clowns who don't do anything to actually WIN the war. I'd rather do something to help than not."

"Good." He tossed the piece of wood to her. She caught it with ease, looked at it, glanced at him curiously, and pocketed it. An alarm beeped and she said "If you don't mind, I've gotta go."

"Go right ahead. Don't worry about a thing."

"Great. I'll see you later. And you too, Captain." She gave me a wry smile and walked off.

He pulled out another block of wood as Caty left. I watched her walk away until she turned a corner and left.

"Admiring the view?"

I began to frantically try and respond, but I found that the panicked string of words wouldn't escape my lips. I couldn't speak.

"Don't worry, mate. I won't tell," he said with a smile before releasing me, allowing me to speak again.

"Good night sir" I said, wanting to leave before he decided to dig through my head.

"You too. And Tag?"

I turned.

"Just call me Darin."