Chapter 18

(Soundtrack: right were you left me by Taylor Swift)

10 years ago

"You met someone?" She asked in disbelief.

The happy ambiance of the London restaurant felt like a cruel joke. The dimmed lights, usually setting a mood of intimacy, only cast long, accusing shadows on the tablecloth. She was excited about the outing, hoping it'd be a new start for them. Yet, the man across from her sat withdrawn, his gaze stubbornly fixed on his lap. Every attempt at conversation had been met with a mumbled response and a quick retreat back into his shell. Now, with a sudden, sickening clarity, she understood. The reason for his distance wasn't disinterest, it was a secret he couldn't bear to face.

"I met her through work. We've gotten really close. She's… here, you know? It's easy, it's, well, not complicated."

Bella couldn't believe her ears. Here was Edward, the man who occupied the most treasured corner of her heart, confessing his love for another. A tear escaped, tracing a glistening path through the carefully applied makeup. Across the table, beneath the dim restaurant lights, Edward wouldn't meet her eyes. The silence stretched, thick and heavy, punctuated only by the clatter of distant dishes. A flicker of movement caught her eye. Two women in the next booth exchanged a glance, their faces etched with a pity that felt like a physical blow. One leaned in, her voice a sickeningly sweet whisper, "What a sad sight." The words were a fresh wound, but a spark ignited within Bella beneath the sting. This wasn't the ending she envisioned.

"Easy? That's it? So everything we've said, everything we mean to each other just doesn't matter? You're ending this for easy?"

"Bella, I love you, I swear I do but this whole thing is too complicated. You there, me here. Seeing each other only twice a year because you can't move here and I can't move to America. Don't you want something better for yourself?" he was begging. He wanted her to understand. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her but that's what the distance was doing to both of them.

"I can't believe you're doing this," she could feel her mascara running down her face as her voice cracked. She was amazed there were only tears and no uncontrollable sobs.

"Please, I don't want to hurt you. I am sorry. I tried not to feel how I feel but I just fell. I am so sorry Bella."

She sat with her legs crossed, a habit she'd always had, and she could feel them going numb, but she didn't care. She kept trying to make sense of what was happening. How could everything feel so normal around her when her world was falling apart?

"Is it Tanya?" he had mentioned her a couple of times. She had helped him out a couple of times when his old stupid car broke down.

"... It is."

"Well…" what else could she say? " I am not going to beg for you to stay with me. I want you to be happy."

They looked at each other for what felt like an eternity and Edward let out one more gut punch to finish her off. The hardest thing he's ever have to do, but it was necessary. He couldn't bear the thought of her phantom lingering in his life.

"Bella, there's something else. I can't…" he stopped for a moment trying to find the right words, but there weren't any. "I can't talk to you anymore."

Bella sat paralyzed, a statue sculpted from disbelief. The dimly lit restaurant faded into a blur, the murmured pity from a nearby table a dull ache. How long did it take to feel the dust settling on her carefully styled hair? In that timeless moment, a single question echoed - how long until she could move again?

"What do you mean you can't talk to me anymore?"

"Tan… She thinks it'd be best. She knows how much you mean to me and isn't comfortable with us staying in touch," he explained. "I can see where she's coming from. You are the most important person in my life, Bella. I just can't keep doing this. The distance is killing me. I think we'll both be happier with someone else. I don't want you to wait for me forever. I want you to be happy."

She suddenly unfroze and uncorked from her chair, the movement so abrupt her glass toppled, shattering on the tablecloth like her heart. The restaurant felt suffocating. Ignoring the pitying stares and Edward's rising form, she raised a hand, silencing him before a single word could escape his lips. She had to get out of there.

"Have a happy life, Edward. Don't worry about me. I know how to get to the airport."

She ran out of that place as fast as she could. She knew he was going after her but couldn't face the idea of him touching her again, of his eyes staring into her soul. It had started to rain. "How cliche" she thought bitterly. Bella hailed a taxi and got in, Edward disappearing out of the corner of her eye. The moment in the restaurant replayed over and over in her memory.

She gave directions to the airport. Her stuff was still back at Edward's apartment but it didn't matter. She had her phone, wallet and passport on her. Everything else was replaceable. She paid the drive and ran through the airport to find the earliest flight to Japan. She thought about calling Alice or Rosalie, who had had her student visa approved and had moved to America couple months prior, but everything seemed too surreal to her.

Soon, she would be back home, but deep down she knew a part of her would be forever frozen inside that restaurant. Right where he left her with her dreams shattered and her heart broken.