Chapter 14

Since they started talking again, they had discovered video calls. From time to time, they both stood in front of their monitors and, both blushing, talked about everything and nothing. Bella really liked making him blush. She found it really funny. It had always been easier for her to make him blush than it had been for him.

That afternoon they talked about school and were having a nice time, until Edward dropped a bombshell.

"I like you."

"What?" Bella asked, surprised. He was blushing.

"I like you a lot, Bella. I know it's strange because we haven't seen each other in person in almost 3 years but I have never liked anyone the way I like you. You're my best friend. You know almost everything about me and I know it all about you. And everything I know about you only makes me like you more. I don't want to lose your friendship because of this so if you don't feel the same I will understand and hope we can still be friends."

She stared at him for a few seconds that seemed like hours to him when…

"I like you too, Edward."

I felt myself shiver when I felt his breath on my face. Here was this big, scary moment and I didn't know if I wanted it or not.

Max barked, making us jump and took us out of the moment we were in. I looked at him with blushing cheeks and he looked back at me, his eyes still darkened.

"Um, I'm going to see what Max needs."

I practically ran out of that bathroom. I was a fucking coward but I didn't care. I felt a pang of guilt for having come so close to kissing Edward when I had a boyfriend. A handsome, and intelligent, and funny, and almost perfect boyfriend. I kicked myself mentally .

Apparently, Max thought it was important to let me know that it was no longer raining. The sun had appeared and that made it possible to appreciate more the destruction of the street due to the flood. I understood why Edward would have to stay. Although the tension was about to kill me.

I felt confused. I had experienced a very strong and traumatic experience so my feelings were all over the place and here was this man messing around with my hormones. The phone rang again and I groaned internally.

"Hello, Jake," I replied.

"Hey, is everything okay?" he asked. "I've been trying to reach you for an hour but the call just barely went through."

"Yes, I'm fine," I assured him. "It's a shame we can't leave our houses, isn't it?"

I headed to the kitchen to finish the meal while balancing the phone between my ear and my shoulder.

"Is your street flooded? It rained here with me but apparently I live on very high ground. It didn't flood me at all."

I opened the can without spilling this time and poured it into the noodles.

"Yeah. Poor Max is sad because he can't go out to the backyard. I think I will have to stay locked up for the full 24 hours."

I tried not to let him know that someone else was here. I didn't want the scene with Alice to be repeated.

"Do you need anything?"

"No, but thanks, Jake," I heard a growl behind me and turned to see Edward. "Hey, I have to go. But thanks for checking on me. Is everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, all good. Please don't hesitate to let me know if I can do anything for you. Bye bye."

"Bye," I hung up and looked at Edward. "The food is ready," I announced, avoiding his gaze.

The almost kiss was still in my mind, also the fact that Edward didn't know about me and Jake yet but I was too chicken to let him know. Should we talk about that? Alice and Rosalie would say yes but that's exactly why I wouldn't do it. I liked to go against the flow. Edward didn't bring it up either, so he probably regretted what was going to happen. That made my chest tighten but I didn't want to think about it either.

Small talk gave way to a symphony of shared stories. Our jobs, the joys and challenges, unfolded like familiar melodies. I found myself captivated by his tales of the children he cared for, his voice warm with genuine affection.

"I'm telling you, Bella, they are the bravest souls and so loving," he said about them with such affection I could feel it through his words.

"Children do have a way to sneak into your heart," I agreed.

Plates cleared, we gravitated towards the living room, the conversation seamlessly flowing. Movies, shows, books; details from a shared past, once whispered secrets, now echoed comfortably.

"They weren't so bad…" I half-assed defended.

"Seriously? The new Star Wars is trash, and you can't convince me otherwise."

"They're no prequels, but they are charming in their own way," I replied even though I knew it was a lost battle.

"You just love Disney too much," he smirked.

Time dissolved, a forgotten melody playing in the background. We looked up, startled, to find the clock mockingly displaying 1:00 AM. It had been an eternity since we'd reveled in the luxury of late-night talks. The embers of our long-dormant bond, fanned by the gentle breeze of shared experiences, flickered back to life, promising a warmth that had been sorely missed.

Despite the hour, a question arose in my mind that had been gnawing at me for many years and that I had never had the opportunity or the opportunity to ask.

"Edward?"

"What's up?" I could hear the tiredness in his voice.

"Why didn't you write back?" I asked. He looked at me confused.

"Bella, you cut off communication with me," he reminded me.

"No," I clarified. "I mean when I returned to Japan. I spent half a year messaging and emailing you and being ignored until I gave up. Then you contacted me, but I never found out why."

He was silent for a moment before answering.

"It hurt."

"What hurt?"

"Remembering you," he answered. "When you sent me messages, all I could think about was that I couldn't see you. I couldn't make you laugh or hold your hand to go somewhere. Physically I... I don't know, I felt weak. I thought that maybe cutting you out of my life completely would make that pain of not having you around go away."

Now it was my turn to stay silent. I considered his words and a new question came to my mind.

"Then why message me later? Hadn't you gotten used to not talking to me?"

"It was Rosalie, actually," he admitted sheepishly. "She kept saying that you were doing very well and that you were happy, but that you always asked her how I was. That you remembered me fondly. I felt like a jerk and thought that any pain I might feel was worth it if I could keep you in my life somehow. Sorry about that. I feel like there are a lot of things I need to keep apologizing for."

"I guess so," I smiled shyly.

We looked at each other for a few moments and I felt the need to put some space between us; it was dangerous to be so close to him after such a vulnerable conversation. I announced that I was going to sleep. I told him where the blankets were for the couch and wished him good night. Edward looked at me as if he was expecting me to say something else but I ran to my room with Max following me. I couldn't risk it. I didn't know how long it took me to fall asleep but even when the sweet release of sleep came, Edward was present in every single dream.

Police. Fear. Hospital. Despair. Funeral. Emptiness.

Edward.

I woke up the same way I did every day but I knew he was there. I tried to stay in my room as long as possible but I also didn't want to be a bad host; and Max also probably had to pee.

I changed quickly and left my sanctuary with Max. Edward had his back to me and was talking on the phone. With him being distracted, I thought I didn't want to interrupt him. I looked out to the street and it looked like the water level had dropped significantly so maybe we wouldn't have to be locked in any longer. At least my yard seemed ready for Max to go out.

"Good morning," Edward said, catching my attention.

"Hi," I greeted. "Were you able to rest?"

"A little," he answered, looking out the window with a slight blush. "I had something on my mind that wouldn't let me sleep. Yesterday I, well, we were about... what I want to say is that…"

"I know," I interrupted. "It was a very emotional day. We were both on a high and did things we didn't mean to."

I had already rehearsed these words in my mind all morning.

He looked at me for a few seconds and sighed. He was probably relieved. His reaction tugged at my heartstrings but I tried to ignore it. Kissing Edward wouldn't be a good idea. In fact, it would be a terrible idea. Disastrous even.

"Breakfast?" I offered, walking to the kitchen, trying to put distance between us.

"Just coffee. Can I help you with something?"

"No, I think we learned our lesson about cooking together yesterday," I laughed. "Your clothes are probably ready if you want to change. My brother's clothes look strange on you."

He laughed but took the hint. I needed space and at this moment his presence didn't let me think. Once Edward left the room I heard someone knock on the door. Apparently, traveling was no longer dangerous.

Well, fuck.

"Jake!" I exclaimed, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

He gave me a charming smile.

"I was thinking of you. I wanted to see if you were okay and if you needed anything."

"You caught me at a very bad time. I just got up and I have to take care of some things. Sorry, it's not a good time now" I had to get rid of him before he ran into Edward and gave him the wrong idea.

"Oh," I could see the disappointment in his eyes. That made me feel guilty. "Sorry, Bella. I should have called first. I'll text you later."

He started walking towards his car and I ran after him.

"Jake, wait!" I took his arm and he turned to see me. "I'm sorry. Yesterday was a stressful day for me. I'm still trying to make it all make sense. But I have thought about you."

I felt guilty again.

"Oh yeah?" he smiled flirtatiously. "And what did you think about exactly?" he put his arms around my waist and I thought my legs would turn to jelly. He was so fucking hot.

Then I thought of my almost kiss with Edward.

"Just stuff," I said looking down at my feet.

I felt Jake's hand on my chin lifting my face towards him.

"Bella," he whispered, getting closer. "Please stop me, because I don't think I can stop myself."

I started to was a similar emotion to what I had felt with Edward but, in its own way, different. But I did want to stop him. I wasn't ready for this. Especially not after what had happened yesterday.

Before I could stop him, a door slammed and we both jumped. Edward left my house in a rage. He was wearing his clothes from the day before.

"I have to go, Bella. Thanks for the coffee," I felt a pang of guilt. I didn't get the chance to prepare it.

"Edward!" Jake said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

Oh no. This was just what I wanted to avoid.

"Hello, Jacob. I came early to see how Bella was doing because of the storm."

He didn't say anything. He didn't tell him that he had spent the night.

"I have to go. They called me from the hospital, if you'll excuse me."

He slammed the door of his car and sped away while I watched him leave with guilt invading my body. But why did I feel guilty?