"Nee-san? What are you doing here?" I said, closing the door behind me.

"Am I not allowed to visit my beloved little sister once in a while?" She took a sip of her glass of wine.

"If you came here to annoy me, I suggest you leave. I'm honestly not in the mood to put up with your antics," I grumbled as I kicked off my shoes and shed my jacket, tossing them aside

"It's been a while since last time." She approached me.

Fortunately, my tears had subsided earlier, so she didn't see them. Nee-san came at the worst moment. I don't know if I could tolerate her teasing tonight.

"You came later than usual, where have you been? With Hikigaya-kun~?" She cupped my face in her hands.

The mention of his name could make my heart tremble for a millisecond. Especially after what happened between us...

"Don't touch me, I'm tired." I walked past her, pulling away from her hands.

"What happened to your eyes? They're red like pools of blood."

I paid no mind to her comment, my thoughts already focused on the task of changing into more comfortable night clothes. Without so much as a glance in her direction, I hastened to my room and shut the door behind me.

I undid my neck tie and sat down on my bed. After a quick change of clothes, I put my uniform in the closet.

I looked at the Pan-san plushy next to my pillow. Its eyes alone were enough to make me think about him, and enough to make me feel how my heart is influenced by his presence, words, and actions.

"Yukino-chan, the tea is ready!" Nee-san's voice echoed in my own room.

I was reluctant to go, but now that Nee-san is here, I don't really have a choice. I'll try not to be too pessimistic tonight.

Maybe I'll have a normal dinner with her for once.

I let my hopes get the best of me as I stood up and walked out of my bedroom.

Nee-san was sitting on the couch, her cup of tea on the table in front of her, with another next to it. She patted the place next to her.

"Come here, it looks like you've got a lot to tell tonight."

"Who said I was going to tell you anything?"

"Aw, please don't be so stubborn. I can read through you like an open book. Something happened, didn't it? Come here, I promise I won't tease you."

"..."

I was hesitant to bring up the subject with my sister. However, at this moment, I felt an overwhelming need to be heard, to have someone understand what I was going through. Perhaps it was the confluence of my fragile state and her unexpected presence that led me to this feeling.

Nee-san had assured me that she was willing to listen to anything I might have to say, and while there was a part of me cautioning against it, I couldn't shake the notion that this was exactly what I needed at this moment.

"Fine..."

I finally took my seat by Nee-san on the couch, then I grabbed my cup of tea and began to drink.

"Did you argue with Hikigaya-kun?"

"How did you-"

"I know you better than anyone else, I have literally watched you grow from the beginning. I could easily catch the subtle shift in your expression when I mentioned his name earlier."

Now I know I could not lie to her.

I stroked the handle of my cup with my thumb, and stared at its half-empty contents.

"We did argue."

In the end, I explained everything to her. The trip with the club members, the request, and Hikigaya-kun's behavior. Pretty much everything that had happened that week. My mouth spoke by itself, I couldn't stop it from revealing more and more.

Then I had to talk about our argument.

"I see. Then, you cried from the outcome of it?"

"N-No, I didn't cr-"

"Yukino-chan..." She pulled out her small mirror and placed it in front of my face.

I was met with the sight of my own eyes, still tinged with a bloodshot redness from all the tears I had shed. As I looked at the mirrored image of my face, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of embarrassment and vulnerability.

I remained silent, now looking away from the mirror.

"See? And as your big sis, I can't stay here and do nothing while someone I deeply care for is crying. So, answer me honestly. Did Hikigaya-kun make you cry?"

"That... That wasn't his fault."

I didn't want her to think he was the one in the wrong. I made him angry. Yes, I cried because of how he acted, but I am the one who caused it. We had an agreement, and I disregarded it.

"You are close to him, aren't you? I can understand the fact that we all have stuff that we hide. However, this is no longer the right thing to do when the 'stuff' begins to affect the feelings of others."

When the thing begins to affect the feelings of others..?

"Hikigaya-kun hurt your feelings when he did that, didn't he?"

My lips parted, but I closed them. All I could answer was a nod.

"See? It wasn't that hard to admit it." She said, her finger playing with a strand of my hair.

"That's so strange, you who'd always hated lies, let it slide when it was Hikigaya-kun doing it."

"He... He said it was because he wasn't ready to tell me about it yet. But he promised that he'll open up to me someday."

"How kind of you. You're so patient with him."

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, frowning and my fingers tightening around the handle of my cup.

"I was just making statements. Is that a problem? Or did you see anything wrong in my words?"

W-What's on her mind?

"Your face is so cute when you get all worried for someone, you know." Nee-san said, touching my cheek with her finger.

I shook my head to get her finger away from me.

Does she think I didn't know this? That I wasn't aware of how I've been acting toward him?

I know I'm being more patient than I am usually with him. I keep searching for excuses to justify his actions. Even though he hurt me, I still try to persuade my mind that it isn't his fault.

I was so lenient recently when it came to Hikigaya-kun. I don't know why I am acting like this.

"It's normal to worry about a friend," I said.

Yes, that's it. I've been so worried about him, that his presence fills my mind each minute of the day. When a friend is showing signs that he's not doing well, the least I can do is what I am currently doing.

If Yuigahama-san went through the same, I'd have probably done the same thing. Because I deeply care for them both. It's not like there was anything special about him that feels different from Yuigahama-san.

"Sure, I never said otherwise. Hikigaya-kun is a very precious friend of yours." She put her hand in her pocket. "So precious, that you even kept that picture hidden under your pillow." She pulled out a picture that I immediately recognized.

My eyes widened, and without wasting a second, I reached out to grab it from her, but she reacted in time and moved her hand away so I couldn't catch it.

"Ara..." Nee-san giggled.

"Give it back to me." I glared coldly.

Why did she have this? Did she really go through my things?

This picture I've been hiding and cherishing until now.

Me and Hikigaya-kun in that rollercoaster. I was afraid of them, but his presence helped me face them. I remember how I held onto his arm when we fell. The smile on my face and the surprise on his appeared clearly in the image.

"Please give it back, Nee-san."

All those nights I've stared at this picture on my bed with a torment of thoughts swirling in my head have resurfaced.

I really didn't want to lose it.

"Look how cute you two are here."

My cheeks began to heat at her words, the cheeky expression on her face spreading the redness of my cheeks even further. I felt so embarrassed and warm inside.

"Look at your face," she handed her mirror again to prevent me from denying my flushed face. "That's what you call friendship?"

"S-Stop it, Nee-san. I don't want to repeat it again. I want this picture back," I said, leaning further toward her to catch the picture from her hand.

"Then please, be honest with your own feelings at least."

That's what I'm doing. Hikigaya-kun is a precious friend. I don't know what she wants me to admit, but anything other than that is not how I truly feel.

"Yukino-chan, no matter how much you try to deny it, I think you're smart and mature enough to know deep down what it is all about. You can deny your thoughts, but not your heart."

"..."

Her gaze was unwavering and penetrating, locking onto mine with an intensity that felt eerily familiar. It was as if I were looking into the eyes of my own mother, the sharp and pointed gaze she would use to make me confess to a foolish act I had committed.

I looked away, my fingers fidgeting in my lap. I could still feel the heat on my cheeks.

'You can deny your thoughts, but not your heart.'

Her words echoed through me. Nee-san knows too well how to get under my skin.

My heart... What is my heart telling me?

The last events I remember that made my heart beat so fast all had one thing in common. They were related to that boy. He was always the main reason why my heart would speed up or ache. Tonight is a perfect example.

Those strong feelings inside of me are really just about worry?

No. Be honest with yourself, Yukino.

Deep down, only one possibility comes to mind, but I am too afraid to admit it out loud. I was already afraid to simply accept these feelings. I pretend to be unaware of them, but I can't fool myself indefinitely.

I had known it since that day in the infirmary room. I knew it because I had felt that part of me secretly wishing for him to move forward in that moment. I tried to ignore it, to pretend that the thought hadn't crossed my mind.

But I can't pretend anymore, not in front of her, not in front of my reflection in her mirror.

"Tell me, Yukino-chan. How do you really feel about Hikigaya-kun?"

A tear welled in my eye. I still felt scared to admit it, and Nee-san was practically making me spill the beans.

"I..."

My heart raced within my chest.

Nee-san's expression softened, seeing that I was finally ready to say it.

"Yes, that's it, Yukino-chan."

Her soft and caring side and the kindness she was showing me were so warm and welcoming. Each moment that passed, the idea of confessing to her became more possible. She wasn't going to belittle me for it; her eyes were silently encouraging me to speak my mind.

My eyes closed. Trying to steady the overwelming rhythm of my heartbeat, I took a deep breath.

Say it, Yukino.

Because that's how you feel.

For the first time in my entire life, I've got to know how it feels... to sincerely love someone.

"I am deeply in love with Hikigaya-kun," I said, my hand placed on my chest as I looked Nee-san in the eyes.