Harry Does Different CDLIIIb
I Didn't Buy a Set
The gasps of surprise were unanimous, no matter the students' actual opinion, as he introduced himself "…Your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. ME! Gilderoy LockHart! Order of Merlin, 3rd class. Winner of Witch Weekly's Best Smile Award, 4 years running. I see you've all bought a complete set of my books. Well done. First a little quiz - -" his voice cut off sharply as he eyed his most famous student "Harry, my boy, you don't have my books."
"No, Gilderoy. I gave them to my friend's sister." Replied Harry, his tone was not all that respectful. He heard more gasps, but also snickers.
In front of him was Susan Bones, who spun around and glared equal parts of shock and outrage. Her desk partner, Hermione, scolded "He's a teacher! That's PROFESSOR Lockhart!"
"I hate to correct you, Harry, but the young lady is quite correct. That is 5 points to Gryffindor my dear." He flashed another toothy smile. Then changed to a serious one "Most generous of you, to be sure. We'll just have to get you another set. Of course, I can't make an exception, so you'll need to pay for it."
Grunting uncaringly, the boy said "Not happening Gilderoy. Those books are a waste of Knuts."
"Get out of my class!" growled Lockhart, his celebrity persona did not survive such blatant criticism.
Abcij
Harry was sitting at the Gryffindor Table reading a book titled DEFENSIVE SPELLS FOR THE YOUNG. From the moment he cracked one of those books, he wondered just how to deal with them. That the author himself was the teacher made up his mind. Which had been doing double duty drawing up a campaign. Having publicly insulted a teacher, he could not back down. He met the looks and whispers calmly with an easy expression.
"Mate, you missed it!" Ron was all but skipping in "The bloody git gave us a quiz that was all about him. Hermione, of course, knew all about his secret ambition."
Neville didn't look entirely happy as he reported "Yeah, Malfoy wrote down that it was to fool all the people all the time, since so far he's only got some."
"PAH!" if Harry had been drinking, it would have been a spit-take. He even gave a thumbs-up to the Slytherin as he entered.
Expressionless, but obviously controlling herself, Professor McGonagall approached and said "You will report to Headmaster Dumbledore's office after dinner, Potter."
"I think, ma'am, with all due respect, that here – now – is the place to have this out." He said firmly, but with excessive deference. The trickle was becoming a flood of hungry students who were obviously talking about the same thing. He steeled himself for what he saw approaching.
A mountain of bushy hair bounced to a halt and Hermione launched into it "Harry Potter! Have you any idea what you have done?! That was completely disrespectful! And to someone as famous as an author like Gilderoy Lockhart! How could you!? What were you thinking?! And what with!? Wherever did you get that book?"
"While I would not be as vocal as Miss Granger" the Deputy Headmistress said coldly "I concur with the sentiment. You are not in a position to set conditions in this matter, Potter."
First he glanced at Hermione "Yes. I know. He deserved it. About 3 pounds of grey mush. And, the library, the 100 Section." Not waiting for a response from his friend, Harry looked up at his Head to plead his case "It's only fair, Professor. And look at it this way, if I'm wrong, it'll be as public as what I did in class. Moreso even."
"Whatever punishment Professor Lockhart determines, I will triple it. I trust we understand each other!" her voice was not loud, but every student in range of it cringed.
Not wanting to chance it, Harry impulsively hopped onto one of the Gryffindor seats and called out "Can I have everyone's attention please! Probably lots of rumors about my class with Lockhart!"
"That is Professor Lockhart." Dumbledore corrected mildly, his voice louder than the student's with no visible effort, then his tone became critical "Now, it is my understanding you have a problem with the Defense Against the Dark Arts course material for the year. Difficult to imagine as school has barely begun."
Harry nodded vigorously "Well nooooo I haven't had the chance to read them cover to cover, but one book is called Gadding with Ghouls. Now how does talking to a ghost teach how to protect ourselves from one? Travels with Trolls? Me, Ron and Hermione fought one last year and I didn't see any spells in it. Wanderings with Werewolves? It SAYS he fought them, but what spells? Incantations? Wand motions?"
"Knowing about a creature is the first step in defending yourself." The DADA Professor's celebrity persona was back.
There were some nods of agreement, but Harry didn't bother "In every subject we get a textbook, a different one for each year. How come?"
"Texts are age appropriate, Mr. Potter." Said the Astronomy teacher.
To this he nodded "So a Sixth Year probably wouldn't learn anything from the First Year book? Right Professor Sinistra?"
"And the information would be presented differently." She added to his point "Children learn differently as they grow."
After a thoughtful nod he asked, rather rhetorically "Why then, would my friends …the Weasleys… have the exact same books? Ron's in my class, Ginny's a First, Fred and George Fourths, and Percy's in Sixth."
The redhaired girl paused in her writing long enough to blush.
"That does seem unusual, Potter." This from Professor McGonagall "But it does not fall on a student to not obtain the assigned texts."
Harry ignored that, adding "And, while Magical Me might be interesting enough" there was some sniggering, almost entirely from boys "how is a biography a textbook?"
"It is important to know the effects of battling assorted creatures has on a person's life." Said Lockhart, sounding outwardly confident.
"Any other concerns Potter?" Professor Snape gave a clear sign of being bored.
The student actually smiled at the teacher "Yes sir, just one, thank you, the book titled One Hundred and One Practical Uses for Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. See, the beans are a sweet. And the way it looked seemed to me more like an ad than a textbook."
"Harry, you could have used a less confrontational method" it was only now the Headmaster joined the conversation "but Hogwarts is, first and foremost, a school. Professor Kettleburn, as the next most senior teacher would you please proctor supper? Heads of House and Professor Lockhart will accompany me to my office."
Abcij
As any rule-bender would notice, that night teachers were fewer than normal and the prefects were required to do extended patrols. That it involved the scene with Harry was obvious. The Great Hall was filled over half-an-hour before breakfast was scheduled to begin.
*dingdingding* Professor McGonagall tapped her goblet with her knife as soon as the Head table was filled. "Your attention please." This was unusual enough, as there was no special occasion, to be commented on. The observant soon noticed a vacancy. Word spread quickly.
*ahem* The Headmaster began with a cough and spoke gruffly "Last night's little drama has significant and what will be …lasting… consequences. First is that Gilderoy Lockhart was dismissed and ordered off campus. With regard to Mr. Harry Potter, I deduct 20 points from Gryffindor." There was substantial noise "SILENCE! But for essentially saving this school from itself he will receive an award for special services and 60 points. While anyone may certainly keep Mr. Lockhart's collection of books, should he or she so desire, they may be turned in for tuition credits, or Galleons after the goblins liquidate his vault."
Draco Malfoy had led the cheer when points were deducted from his enemy, but spluttered furiously when the idiot headmaster awarded him so excessively.
"But Professor! What about Defense class?" came a yell from Gryffindor.
Her next word was cut off by a poke in the ribs from Ron "Hush Hermione! We could use less homework!"
"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley, be quiet." Commanded Professor McGonagall curtly.
Dumbledore gave a half-smile and a nod "I believe we have addressed many of your concerns. Short-term; I would ask senior students to share their texts. Sixths and Sevenths use the same book for NEWTs so last year's book is still valid. But those who still have their Fifth Year book, please share. And so on down the line. While interviewing for a permanent teacher, Professor Kettleburn has consented to fill that role. Care of Magical Creatures will be taken over by Rubeus Hagrid. Thank you for your attention."