"I would like to get a tattoo… Please." Says a slightly stern but overly polite voice, I glance up from my book to see Four standing awkwardly between the doorway and the reception desk.
"Designs are on the wall." I reply pointing towards the different concrete spaces decorated with the stencils of the more simpler tattoos and then, some of the more detailed tattoos.
He nods his thanks and walks over to them, scrutinizing each one closely and I go back to viewing the illustrated steps to assembling the tattoo devices of the shop.
It takes him a while to decide and I look around to see if maybe he's changed his mind and left, but he stands on the far end of the room looking over at the different symbols for each faction on placards under the neon sign that reads faction before blood.
Bud claims they put it out during initiation because sometimes the transfers like a reminder of where they came from and around this time it's mainly transfers that come in for tattoos.
I know of only a hand full of people that actually get a tattoo of their old faction on them, and always in places that no one can see.
His interest in them isn't unusual it always takes time for transfers to let go of their old factions.
He turns towards me with a guilty expression which is evidence of his indecision, he's not the first to come in looking to get ink.
The Amity girl came in yesterday wanting to get roses with an over exaggerated amount of thorns, and before that the male had come to get a spider.
They got some piercings too but Bud kept insisting they wait, that they could get injured during initiation.
Even the Erudite Eric got a piercing in his lip.
"I know what I want." He says firmly, but he doesn't sound overly confident, I buzz for Bud. Tori is out today.
He chooses a design that's symmetrical with an empty column to run down his lower back, starting from the nape of his neck.
Bud wastes no time coming out and handling Four's request and asks me if I could get the light, so I do. He gets all his tools ready, dons the plastic gloves and the smell of alcohol fills the air.
I watch unabashedly as Four removes his shirt and I notice first, the small scars that litter his body.
They are light crescents decorating his tanned skin, he's muscular now, obviously building up over his time spent in Dauntless but I know for a fact that those scars are older than his presence here.
Where they came from is no longer viable as evidence however. You won't find anyone in Dauntless without scars.
I also notice he already has a tattoo, the Dauntless symbol, flames on his chest.
Amar had told me they played a game of Dare, he's attempting to stay casual and not overbearing.
He also mentioned being dared to go into the Erudite library and scream something obscene.
When Four catches me examining him he doesn't try to hide himself, but his expression becomes slightly harsh and the first one to break eye contact is him.
The reasons why they transfer to Dauntless are hardly any interest to me, only that they become Dauntless.
I shrug to myself and go back to the instruction manual, flipping to the section about ink cartridges.
Around my last hour Amar walks in to give me a fizzy water, and ends up staying to watch Four get his tattoo. He seems uncomfortable, on edge. He is being watched, re-evaluated. For hiding abnormal simulation results.
Our conversation is light, he asks me about school and reminds me to smile and how awesome he is but I know he's distracted.
I sip my drink and occasionally check my watch.
"You've gotta try the cake man." Zeke exclaims, clamping Four on the shoulder, he doesn't cringe or flinch even though his tattoo must still be tender.
He's been coming in every other day to finish it up. So far he has the top portion of his back done. The column between the pieces is blank, possibly intentional for a later addition.
I've never had an actual conversation with him, sometimes he greets me and I greet him back, only nods.
"Yeah, sure." He replies and Shauna wastes no time planting a large slice right on top of his hamburger.
I'm not entirely positive why the initiates decided to break the norm and sit at different tables today.
"Kat can I have-" Ash starts, she has a black eye but Kat already has the tube of red lipstick, holding it out to her and the red head smiles brightly, they both have green eyes and brightly colored hair.
Shauna and Ash had a fight today. I was told Shauna won, with the help of Four who had been helping her train.
Jade pins my hair up in different places while I absently pick at my plate of food.
"Hey Eric, why don't you sit with us?" Zeke asks as he strides past us.
He turns his head and looks at Zeke with raised brows, then takes in the rest of us with what looks like pure disgust.
I chew a piece of food and only offer a bored look when our eyes meet for a brief moment. I know he's slowly building a reputation as an anti-social person here not to mention Amar had told me he recently got "his ass handed to him" by Four.
Jade continues to work her fingers through what feels to be a mess, as though nothing else interests her.
Everyone else looks impassive and uncaring, even Shauna as she pretends to be interested in the lipstick Ash is applying to herself without a mirror.
Zeke is the minority and looks genuinely inviting.
"I'll pass." Eric admonishes before walking away and no one argues or mentions anything about it, but the Stiff gives his retreating form a look that is hardly Abnegation.
I find myself wishing I could have witnessed that fight.
The one that sent the Nose to the infirmary, I'm not passed my age's petulance.
There wasn't any space for him to join anyway, Kat had reserved the only open spot for the male Amity.
"Gene." Says the voice I've come to recognize and identify as the Erudite Eric.
"Designs are on the wall." I reply without looking up or offering a greeting, I flip the page in the book I 'borrowed' from school about the history of the faction system.
I don't really read the words unless it mentions something about the old world, before the purity war and during the war but the pictures are what really interests me.
Instead of waiting for him to find something he likes, I buzz for Tori or Bud. I'm a little distracted and don't remember which one is in the shop.
As usual Amar drops by and tosses me a drink but today he doesn't stop by for idle chit chat.
I catch the fizzy water out of reflex and wave my other hand absently in thanks when he pinches my cheek.
"The process will take about an hour." Tori says speaking to Eric, while I tap the lid in an attempt to pacify the angry fizz bubbling inside before opening it.
"Gene, I'll be right back, Karl is back from patrol." I nod my head and wave my hand at her before sipping my drink noisily and turning the page of the book.
I'm guessing Amar is headed there too, all his friends went to work on the wall and they're only back for a week before they go for another 30 days.
I become totally engrossed in the horrific descriptions of radiation poisoning, nuclear detonations, massive destruction and chaos.
So much so, that I don't hear Eric talking to me with his arrogant voice.
"What?" I ask, closing the book and turning the chair around slightly.
He's laying back with his feet propped up on the metal cart near his chair like he owns the place.
The tattoo pad secure around his neck like a brace, which obviously means he's getting his neck inked. It looks more like his neck is broken.
"Either you're deaf or too simple minded to have a conversation." He insults. His annoyance is palpable, I shrug and turn back around.
Erudite are known for their superiority complexes and need for constant debate, and validation.
I pick up my pen and start tapping the concrete, pressing my elbow into the desk and resting my cheek into my palm.
Fierce agitation governing my idle movements.
"Did you hear me?" Eric asks, in his second attempt to strike up a conversation or an argument, I had heard him mumble more things about my apparent stupidity but I chose to ignore them. "I guess it doesn't matter, you're about as interesting as a rock."
I know that the more he talks and the less I respond the more insulted he will be, I can't help however, the pressure in which I hold the pen.
"I was told most Dauntless we're mindless brutes, and that the women we're bat shit crazy." He continues, like he doesn't really mind the one sided conversation.
"You'll fit right in then." I reply with years of practiced bored-ness.
I re-open the book audibly, turning the pages, hoping the scrape of paper on paper would emphasize my being done with the conversation.
Easily re-enveloped by the pictures again. The cities of the pre-war ravaged world were sights to behold.
I listen to the extremely soft hum of the machine working and ignore when the chair gets struck with an inanimate object, hard enough to jar me.
The thump is loud against the leather and then the floor with a dull thud, it does pike my curiosity but not as much as checking how much longer till I get off.
I glance at the clock, while he mutters what is most likely his entire vocabulary of curse words. I could probably learn some from him if I'd actually listened.
When the chair gets hit a second time, much harder than the first I snap the pen in half and the ink stains the book and my fingers.
I'm sure now that he had thrown his boots.
"Riley." Our Erudite teacher calls on one of the Candor students to answer her question about which faction is in charge of the reconstruction and revitalization of the different still damaged sections of the city.
She answers correctly but adds in her own opinion on how any faction could do the job and how the city is still a 'dump' and it's not getting done.
Each faction has its own purpose, and although some might seem a bit more important than others, they all work together as a whole.
Each cog turning to make the cities system work perfectly like a well oiled machine. Everyone does what they're supposed to, always.
Every individual conforms, even in Dauntless where conformity is a bit more obscured.
When Riley starts babbling that Abnegation might be the most useless faction of the 5. Clearly getting truth and personal opinion mixed up.
The two girls wearing gray with their solemn expressions sink into their chairs inconspicuously, they do not defend their faction. Or themselves.
Our Erudite teacher doesn't stop her from continuing.
"Ow!" Riley exclaims rubbing her arm where the book on factions and their importance collided.
When Riley snaps her head around to glare at me she immediately clamps her lips shut.
Maybe it's because of the fact that I have another book on my desk, or the way that I look at her with my cheek rested on my hand, as I slowly close the cover of it.
This book is about medical procedures, there were way too many words in it for my taste, and the pictures made me antsy. Violent.
Riley tears her gaze from mine as her eyes become glossy. I don't find enjoyment in making other girls cry, but if she feels so inclined to pick on the selfless, in their presence, maybe she should also cry in it.
She doesn't though, to her credit.
Our Erudite teacher purses her lips, obviously not pleased with the way things escalated but she hardly did anything to stop me, and definitely didn't stop her. Or correct her.
A familiar Erudite boy with slicked back hair laughs and leans over to retrieve the book off the ground.
I'm sure his name is Bradley. "If only books actually worked that way." He says before placing the book on his own desk and peering at the title through his glasses.
I lean back in my chair maintaining eye contact with the Erudite woman as she stares me down behind her gold rimmed spectacles. I expect her to report me. Again.
Jade laughs when the teacher becomes frazzled while the rest are obviously entertained.
I start to wonder if we walked into the wrong room today, but also mainly why we have to endure inter-faction classes.
Max always says they are the bane of this cities existence, and encourages transferring, which leads to an increase in faction-less. I agree.
Each class is made up of only 10 students, 2 from each faction to one teacher.
The curriculum is the same in each one. Just the people in them are different.
The worst part of all of this is that I have several more months left to endure. I check my watch to see how much longer I have to endure of today's class.
"Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?" An Amity student starts singing, while the other drums on his desk.
Our teacher simply walks out of the room.
Jade very inconspicuously slides her textbook onto the corner of my desk as though she's providing me with ammo.
Amity usually sing. It's one of the things they do to try and pacify situations through non-violence and to ease tensions.
"Nice throw!" The hippie exclaims even though I missed.
"I'm betting against Amar." Gabriel announces, while I run my fingers through my now silver-gray hair.
I think that Tori had done it intentionally this way. I don't really care, she promised me that she would let me use the machines in recompense. Although I had wanted to take them apart more.
I only have a month and a half before I stop working there though.
So far it seems like Four and Eric are in a battle for who can get the most tattoos, they frequent the shop more often than I do for work.
Eric never talks to me anymore and it may be because Tori and Bud never leave him unattended.
Not after they came in to him barefoot and the contents of their hand cart scattered on the floor.
"You're crazy then and you might as well pay up now." Kat admonishes, she elbows me in the side in an attempt to get me to join in but instead of coming to Amar's defense I tie my hair into a lose bun on top of my head and bite into some eggs.
A bet right now is pointless because of the rain and no actual way to tell which initiates will be on Amar's team or the opposing one.
Plus there's several days before the actual game. The weather is beginning to cool.
"The game will probably be cancelled anyway, it's been raining all week." Jade exclaims sullenly. She starts taking the piece of unclaimed chocolate cake off my plate and I tilt it in her favor.
They already know I abhor sweets and that Kat always gives me a piece despite that.
We appear close in that regard, these people and I. Sometimes I spit in her morning coffee, she knows, but she drinks it anyway. It's these little things that would betray me in denying any attachment to them.
"Oh my fucking-" Says a high pitched voice before arms wrap around my neck. "What did you do to your hair?" Asks Lynn with a raucous laugh directly in my ear.
I contemplate laying her out over the table but I acquiesce. It's just hair.
"Getting ready for winter early." Uriah answers for me, I wasn't going to answer anyway. "It now matches your cold heart." He adds.
I tilt my head side to side like I can't argue.
"I'm just kidding! Oh, but Zeke said the War game is most likely still on!" He screeches excitedly before hopping up onto the bench towering over us all like he's going to make an announcement.
Joseph scowls and nails him in the back of the knees sending Uriah crashing down onto the table top. Jade and I grab our plates and turn just in time to save our food.
"So can we stay at your place tonight?" She asks casually scraping her carrots onto my plate, Lynn plucks one and starts crunching it over my shoulder.
"Can't." I say and everyone looks at me with disappointed expressions. Kat's brows furrow and she looks slightly incensed, or concerned.
I shrug Lynn off me when she pokes the carrot into my cheek and she sits down on the table just as Uriah slides off it rubbing his elbow, complaining about Joseph being too abusive.
"Wanna stay over at my place then?" Jade asks me passingly, I shake my head 'no', I'd never stayed over at anyone elses place before. Will not start.
They protest as I drag my finger over the icing on her piece of cake and stick it in my mouth, tasting the chocolatey thick substance.
It's disgustingly sweet and attacks my taste buds. I sigh, before scraping my tongue against the back of my teeth.
It did rain, and it continued to rain torrentially even during training.
Our breaths come out white and visible in the chilled air while we all continue our slow pace through puddles on the ground.
My socks are soaked and squish with each step.
I'm trembling pitifully from the cold, despite being active, my body unable to warm myself while the cold still pelts my skin. Our only cover, the occasional passing under the train overpasses as we do our laps around Dauntless.
No one complains, we are all soaked through and through.
When we make our 3rd circuit around the compound our trainer Travis finally barks out for us to get our 'asses inside'.
My lungs burn but everything else feels cold as ice, every muscle tense from the frigid fall weather.
We catch our breaths, huffing, wringing our hair and loose clothing out, it sticks to me like a second skin.
The training room for initiates is much larger than ours and because the initiates have the day off we are to use the transfers facilities.
It's not unusual that the transfers get nicer and newer equipment, they need the most training.
At first Travis lets us recover which is hardly possible considering we weren't offered the chance to dry off.
We remove our boots and socks and continue wringing water out, creating puddles on the concrete indoors.
"Fall in." Travis commands. "let's go, let's go." He claps.
Kat and Jade stifle their groans and toss the socks they were slapping each other with onto the ground as we make our way, dripping wet over to the table with knives. They make wet slaps as they hit the floor.
"Alternate." He bellows and the younger ones all stand at attention at our sides. "Throw till I say stop."
With that he walks off to go smoke a cigarette even though he's not supposed to. He started after his retirement from wall duty after an accident.
It's not good for his health, not to mention he always reeks of smoke. He will be out of Dauntless within a couple more years.
"The first time throwing since he became our trainer and we're soaking wet, and trembling out of our asses." Gabriel complains under his breath.
He's right though, the handle of the knife is slippery in my grasp, and my attempt at wiping them off on my clothing doesn't work because my clothes hold more water than anything else.
"Don't you think it's kind of unfair?" Says a voice coming into the room. "Dauntless are trained at such young ages, and then we come in and get scored against them. Of course they'll rank higher and get the better jobs."
It's one of the Candor. My first knife sticks into the target exactly where I aimed it despite the grating voice in my ear.
Uriah stands shivering next to me to hand me another. After I throw my first 3, I retrieve them and let him throw.
After about 2 rotations, I'm shivering again just as much as Uriah is and the knife slips a few times but they always make it to the target though not precise.
I didn't notice the audience of initiates that come closer to observe, because my growing frustration at the spineless way the cold weather is effecting me.
"We could do better than that." Says Sean, the other transfer.
Uriah ignores them but I see the way his jaw is tense and his dimples disappear. He tries hard not to tremble and brings his arm back to throw another knife but it slips and clatters to the floor in front of the target.
When the initiates start laughing, Joseph lashes out and tries to start a fight with them.
We begin training every Wednesday when we turn 13, some of us before then, much before then.
They come in, leave their entire life behind and are expected to pick up ours, in a very short amount of time. The first stage is the easy part. Stage 2 will make or break.
The rankings determine their future jobs. Most transfers end up on the wall. The highest ranking above a certain threshold get offered leadership positions, or they get to choose from the more desirable occupations.
If they score beneath a minimum. Or break too many rules during initiation they become faction-less.
I vaguely take in the fact that it's just the Candor transfers. Always the Candor. But also the Amity, she'd lost some of that kindness about her.
Kat and Jade begin to argue with the girl, while Lynn tosses her knives back onto the table as if to join in.
Gabriel and the others do the same and before long the arguing and near fighting will attract Travis.
"Let's keep throwing." I advise Uriah with a deep exhausted sigh, he frowns at me and slouches his shoulders.
He complains while continuing to throw even though it's my rotation. Marlene comes over to us and I start handing her knives too and together we silently ignore Travis screaming at both the initiates and our dripping wet comrades.
"Gene, Uriah, Mar." A stern voice calls and only then do I turn around.
Amar stands there looking furious with his arms crossed over his chest, he jerks his head for us to move away from the targets.
He makes the initiates involved in the altercation start throwing knives, they're impressive, none of the knives end up on the ground.
The rest of us watch quietly off to the side while Amar and Travis glare at them, the tension in the air is thick.
The Amity turns around with a smug smile, all three of her knives stuck in the target in the middle most circle and as soon as she gives the rest of us a triumphant look, Amar walks over to the table, grabs a water bottle and we watch as he pours it all over her.
"Alright now throw."
There is little triumph in the way he's just humiliated her. She blinks at him in bewilderment, her mouth slightly open.
When the other transfers and our class can't manage to hold in their laughter Amar snaps.
"You know what? All of you go for a run." He points to the still open overhead door, the rain coming down in heavy torrents. I can hear it pelting the roof. "One lap."
I close my eyes for a brief moment and breathe out some of my arrogance before starting after the initiates.
"Where are you going Gene?" Amar asks harshly, he gives me a questioning look and so do my fellow Dauntless born.
Kat and Jade both give me expressions of disappointment and visible groans.
"It's just a little rain." I say with a shrug while retrieving my wet socks to slide back onto my cold feet.
My socks squish back inside my boots and squeak loudly when I kick them against the ground to get them on.
I vaguely take stock of the other squeaks and squishes that start around me as the others put their socks and boots on as well.
The 3 transfers all wait by the overhead door and Amar has an approving smile, shaking his head.
He probably only meant for the initiates to take the lap. I mentally chastise myself for the misunderstanding when the cold rain pelts me once more.
During lunch I close my eyes briefly when the sounds of scraping metal against concrete invade my ears.
Two benches become one, the chattering becomes louder, laughter becomes louder and there are way more voices around.
I focus on the peas I have separated on my plate, pushing them around with my fork and when a piece of cake gets inconspicuously plopped onto my plate by someone other than Kat, I almost get up to leave the room.
Instead I calmly tilt my head in thanks with a tight nod at the Amity who now sits across from me.
It doesn't bother me so much that there is new friendly banter going on around me, it doesn't even bother me that of the entire group of initiates this year almost all of them sit at our table.
What bothers me is this attention it will surely bring from our leaders, which will put me in less desirable regard.
I am trying to be as patient as I can with these new voices because I do recognize their bravery in choosing Dauntless. It takes courage to leave comfort.
When they start talking about their old factions, I sit and feign interest even though I really should leave.
Part of me is curious however, begrudgingly.
Cows only give milk when they're pregnant, you can still lie under a lie detector test, Candor can't have pets, and Amity have too many pets.
Everyone else seems engrossed and interested and they laugh and joke about it with easy familiarity.
My head is throbbing and my cheeks feel a little hot, food tastes like cardboard but food always tastes bland, I dislike sweets because they have the strongest effect.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and lean forward onto my elbows, pressing my fingers into my eyes till I see spots after one of them regales us with a tale of Candor's merciless mart, when I open them again the chocolate chunk is gone and I notice that Gabriel has it impaled on his fork.
"Hey, what're you doing here?" Tori asks glancing up from her customer, it's the Erudite, Eric, and it looks like he's just settled into the chair and I notice the way Tori wraps the adhesive pad around his upper arm.
I'd dismissed myself with the excuse of work, though I'm off and most of them knew that.
"Maybe she's here to get her ridiculous hair fixed." He answers for me. "Or maybe shave it all off."
Tori tries not to laugh but beside herself she smiles and coughs a few times into her hand because she's the one that performed the coloring.
Maybe someone should tell him that the number of tattoos you get does not accurately measure your Dauntlessness.
Neither does getting a piercing but it seems like he's set on proving himself through those.
My suspicions of him attempting to blend rather than assimilate feel validated.
I decide then, that I'm going to keep my hair as it is.
I tap the side of my nose with my finger at him, his smug smile becomes a dark scowl, almost baring his teeth and that's when Tori warns him that soon I'll be tattooing people and I hope he recognizes that as a threat.
I'm not used to my own petulance when I react with these small gestures, my age is out of my control.
I'd clearly made an error coming here so I leave to get some rest instead. Making my way to the empty apartment and my warm bed even though it's the middle of the day.