The blackness is a living thing that whispers in my ear as it strokes my arms and brushes over my hair. It tries to wrap itself around my body, tries to drag me down and consume me, bury me. Swallow me.
They slide their lips over my skin, whispering, whispering, whispering.
I wake up gasping, my fingers clutching at the sheets and blood roaring in my ears. It takes me a moment to calm the pounding of my heart and even longer to realize that I had fallen asleep, and that I am alone.
Jade and the others had not taken up residence in my apartment like they had planned.
The memory of fingers grabbing me in the dream cause me to rub my hands over my body to erase the sensation. The wisps still crowd around my head and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to force the images and voices away but the dark closes in on me, suffocating my mind.
My breath comes out shaking.
Kicking back the covers and throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I stand up too fast and specks of light swim in my vision, I stumble over my own feet, catching myself against the wall.
My fingers tremble as I press them to my lips. Nausea inside me grows too full, the blackness spinning around me faster and faster.
My stomach heaves and I swallow, pressing my palm harder against my mouth, as I struggle to breathe through my nose.
At the toilet with no recollection of arriving there, I retch, my back arching as I heave, my mouth filling with hot saliva that starts to choke me.
I gasp for air. My chest is too tight. I ache. So badly I ache. I slip along the wall, falling to the ground as the world tilts and sways and I don't know what's up and what's down.
My head screams, my skull too small to hold it all in. I close my eyes and will my heart to stop beating and my blood to stop pumping.
I shove my fingers through my hair, pulling against my scalp, drawing my head to my knees brought up close to my chest as I curl into myself.
My mind whirls, thoughts tearing through my head too fast to understand. Flashes, flaying open every dark corner of my subconscious.
I reach for the towel hanging on the rack and pull myself up, my body trembling violently though I'm fully clothed. My breaths shaking through my lips as I fumble through the inky darkness to the sink.
I turn on the faucet and then the light before cupping water in my shaking hands and splashing my face.
The reflection of the girl staring back at me looks so pitiful. So weak.
I lift my shirt and check my bandages, they are still clean enough to not need to be changed again just yet but I know that I am unwell.
When I leave the bathroom, drying my hair with a towel Eric is just coming into the apartment.
"You're awake, good." He says as he crosses the room briskly. A small smile flickers over his lips. It's lopsided, one side of his mouth ticking higher than the other and his eyes bright.
He is officially a leader of Dauntless.
He looks younger, his hair is not smoothed down by enormous amounts of gel this morning and the appearance of curls in the longer hair on top of his head stalls me.
He places a cup of coffee and a plate of biscuits he has on the table between us before reaching me and immediately his fingers tangle in my wet hair as he tilts my head up and captures my mouth with his. Forceful and fast.
"Sleep well?" He asks holding my face between his palms. He examines the deep blue beneath my eyelids and I watch the corner of his mouth turn up in a smile.
"Exceedingly." I reply though I suspect he knows better, and my hand reaches to touch the curls in his hair, though I know better.
"Well this is interesting." Eric says pursing his lips as he looks through the documents that I had sent him on his tablet. "Based on the correlation between attacks and disappearing Dauntless munitions and supplies, I'd say the old man is using the attacks-"
I half listen and half look through a book he handed me on the human anatomy. It shows diagrams of the different bodily regions and their functions.
"Are you even listening?" Eric asks. I lower the book to look over it at him on the other end of his couch. He stares at his tablet with a look of complete focus.
Despite his tone he continues running his fingers along my leg, both on his lap as I lay across the length of the sofa.
I shrug before looking back down to the book, the image before me has skin, and I flip back and forth to watch as the skin gets put on and then gets peeled off the body with a turn of the page.
The page after is muscle, and it goes all the way down to the skeletal structure with each turn.
He curls his fingers around my ankle. "Do you not realize that this basically insinuates that he has been sneaking Divergent into factionless like the other leader, not to mention supplying them?" Eric asks.
I place the book on my stomach, holding the page and look at him. He looks lost in thought and the idle way his thumb circles the skin on my ankle distractedly so.
He had said with the assistance of Lauren he had installed a mirroring program in Falens computer already, he just didn't have my earlier documents to compare for the differences in entries and the calendar of previous attacks was also not digitalized.
Seeing an Erudite, or former Erudite, process something is like watching the inside of a watch, the gears all turning, shifting, adjusting, working together to form a particular function, which in this case is probably to make sense of what it is Falen is doing.
I realize I must look the same way when I am lost in thought. I have to admit that I am ravenously curious as well, and I may be underestimating the faction-less but I don't think there is a cause for immediate alarm there.
The amount of missing munitions over a length of time is still so minuscule, that it was hard to even notice anything was gone, unless you were looking for it specifically.
Faction-less have a hard time surviving as it is. If they are ravaged by hunger and the elements I would assume they don't have time or the interest in being riddled with bullets as well.
"It would seem, simply part of the plot in accusing Abnegation in their mishandling of the faction-less." I supply in defense. "Supplying scant armaments under the guise of them being stolen during attacks and incidents, like you said, would make faction-less appear dangerous, and support the argument that Abnegation leaders don't care for the safety of its citizens. Thus allowing Dauntless to impose restrictions."
Eric raises his brows at me and considers it for a moment before nodding his head. It is plausible and justifiable, not able to be used against Falen.
"The old man is smart, I'll give him that." He complains. "He can use 'investigating and reassessing faction-less threat' as a defense against any allegations brought against him concerning his involvement with them…"
"If he has any involvement with them besides using them." I say, trying not to let him get ahead of himself in assuming a Dauntless leader has allegiance to any other entity, calling that into question without hard evidence would be treason of itself. "They are unorganized, and would never be able to form or draw together under one that put them there. Dauntless has always repressed faction-less dissent. Moreover, what could they accomplish?"
"What about the Divergent?" Eric asks then.
I press my lips into a hard line and examine his expression, all businesslike with just a hint of amusement, in the slight smirk lf his mouth. He raises his pierced brow at me expectantly waiting for my response.
It was already proven that divergence itself was selective. That just because it appears in one individual did not mean it would in their relative.
"Are you a Divergent?" I ask anyway, unable to stifle my morbid curiosity.
He laughs loudly, and uncontrollably as if not expecting my inquiry or finding it humorous. I glower at him, feeling my question to be unreasonable and dim-witted.
It would not be a far fetched idea however, if he were aware of his divergence and were intelligent enough to hide it in plain sight.
"I fail to see your humor on the topic. But I would remind you." I say through my teeth. "If you have no solid proof, it is all just speculation and unsubstantial."
He settles himself and wipes the laughter from his eyes. Still smiling at me as if I'm entertaining and impudent.
"So it would seem." Eric says, still with a slight chuckle as though the laughter could be reignited.
He checks his watch and then unceremoniosly throws my legs off him. "We'll meet you at Erudite. Do not be late." He commands as he makes his way to the door hastily.
"Gene?" There's no judgment or malice in Amar's voice when he calls me and I surprise myself by expecting it, maybe because the last time I saw him I had ditched him.
I turn towards him as he jogs up the hall. "Hey, I lost you last night."
Before I can even answer he wraps his arms around me and pulls me tight, enveloping me in warmth.
"I had things to do…" I say as he pulls away and grabs my arms at my shoulders to look me over.
His face, upon likewise inspection, appears drawn and tight, with dark circles underneath but he smiles and the crinkles appear, drawing attention away from his tiredness.
"Let's go do something, we haven't hung out, just the two of us in a long time." He sounds casual, but there's an undercurrent running beneath his words, an emotion I can't pinpoint.
He holds his body rigid as he waits for my response.
"I'm currently… Busy." I gesture to the path I was taking to go to the leaders offices without further explanation, it is the truth.
He takes a deep breath, his body shifts and tenses. But he does not argue or insist as he usually would, he reaches out to push a strand of hair from my cheek behind my ear, his fingers brushing along my jaw, coming to rest on my shoulder.
"Maybe later then." He says before backing away from me, his grip sliding slowly from my arm leaving a phantom warmth from his touch.
I wonder then if Four had told him something of the previous night.
When I walk into the surveillance control room, I'm greeted by more screens, they've upgraded. The feeds still rotate every 5 seconds, some now showing different parts of the city, the merciless mart, and Erudite.
In the days I was out they made many changes.
Gus is awake for once and when he sees me he motions for the scant employees for the day to take their break. Only 3 of them today.
They all appear exhausted from the previous night and barely give me a glance at their departures.
"Gene." Gus greets me. "How-"
"Four." I say simply, cutting him off from the pleasantries and getting straight to the point. "Have you noticed any unusual behaviors from him?"
The older man shifts, and rests back in his chair, before rubbing his chin thoughfully.
"Not really. . .On a rare occasion, I've caught him isolating certain screens, just passages. . .." He replys, his voice is gravelly. "I've talked to him about it."
Everything is on rotation. They're not allowed to pull up specific feeds unless they see something unusual, then they are instructed to notify Gus immediately.
I silently chastise myself for having done it infront of Zeke myself once but that was not a private meeting.
When a feed is isolated, however, it becomes automatically recorded into the system for review. In case it needs to be stopped, rewinded or enhanced.
Gus would've checked himself and reported if Four had gotten into things he shouldn't have, unless he hadn't been that proactive or his suspicions weren't roused.
I take a seat behind one of the consoles and open an administrator dialogue box, type in my passcode and navigate to archives.
Then I plug my tablet in and download all the folders with dates I've guestimated were during Four's employment even folders with only 1 file in them.
"I have need of your skills." I admit, my fists clutched in my jacket pockets.
Laurens expression shows utter surprise, her pierced brows raises and her also pierced lips open as if she is rendered speechless. Her black and purple streaked hair is tied back in a neat ponytail.
I've never spoken to her before. During her initiation a couple years ago I had suspected her like I had Eric but she had adjusted quickly and performed adequately.
At that time we were already several years into shifting over to digital and electronic devices and Dauntless suddenly had a growing need for individuals with proficiency in them.
"O-of course." She manages with a stutter of uncerainty, before standing, she is a couple inches taller than me. "What can I do for you?"
"I would like a program that lets you mirror one computer from another." I explain. "I was under the impression you've assisted Eric with the same request."
"Alright." She says, with almost a sigh of relief as if she had expected something else. "I'll get it to you by tonight. . .You're the third person to ask for one."
I give her a questioning look.
"Well I mean you know Eric, but Four asked a ways back to pull a prank. It's already a developed program in Erudite, we're installing on all the computers in the compound soon, and Eric tells me it'll be installed on the computers in other factions too."
"Can you teach me?" I ask then, making a mental note that Four is indeed someone to watch.
Her answering smile isn't imperious or arrogant. "I'd be happy to." She says. "How about we start tomorrow?"
I nod my head maybe a bit too eagerly, and give her my thanks.
Lauren doesn't ask any questions and I find that I am very appreciative of that though I'm certain Eric will be the one to ask them when he hears from her.
I arrive at Erudite an hour past noon. The midday sun is warmer and shines down on everything sparkling and white. The snow just starting its slow melt as the city begins its defrost.
My boots sink in on the steps as I walk up to the large industrial glass monument. The suction of my boots as I pull them out to walk is heavy but I know the weight of walking into Erudite may not be all physical.
Inside, through the large doors is the reception area and directly above the administrative Erudite is a portrait of Jeanine herself. Her striking but sullen eyes watch me walk up to the receptions desk.
The Erudite behind the computer glances up as I approach and I don't need to say anything. He greets me with a forced politeness reserved for Dauntless, cultivated by their discomfort and our history as collaborative factions.
When he stands to escort me I am about to tell him there is no need but another voice interrupts.
"It's alright! I've got it, I'll take her up." I turn to see Garrett rushing towards us and the receptionist looks relieved as he seats himself back behind the desk without another word. "You came." He says.
"I was expected." I reply evenly. Though I am very late.
"Yes, well… Lets be on our way then." Garret leads me down a hall, though I know the way, he seems to be taking me on a much longer route.
I have no complaints. I'd like to ask about the information on Eric but he walks a bit further in front glancing back every so often as though I'd have wandered off.
If he is avoiding the topic purposely I will not pry.
The hallway opens to a large room where Erudite men and women in long white coats stand behind tables, some holding tools, some mixing multicolored liquids, some staring at computer screens. None look up at our passing, fully focused on their work.
Though it may be because of the privacy glass between us to prevent interruption. They can't even see us.
I'm curious about what they're working on, and pinch myself to pull my thoughts to focusing on my footsteps.
I follow Garret through the room and down another hall to the elevator banks. The elevators on the opposite side of the Erudite compound, not the ones usually taken.
The doors spring open when he touches the button without wait and I follow him in.
When the doors close he turns sharply and his hands grip my arms below my shoulders and he stares down at me. His eyes behind the spectacles are wide, frantic and pleading.
The brown, deeper than dirt. The the first words out of his mouth are. "I need your help."
My first instinct is to push him off, but my reaction instead is to search the corners of the elevator for cameras. But he would know there arent any. Precaution.
"Please Genesis, I was told there is no one else-"
"Compose yourself." I command, brushing his hands off of me. I don't usually refer to our age difference in reflection to our behavior but for him to come to me, he must be in a dire situation.
Garrett immediately straightens and smooths the collar of his coat down, folding his sleeves and runs a hand through his hair to organize the disarray but the desperate look in his eyes is not dimmed.
"Explain."
"So glad you could finally join us." Jeanine says snidely, the sarcasm is not lost to me, but her expression suddenly becomes pleased as if realizing something pleasant and she smiles. "Well, as I was saying. . ."
Max sits reclined with his elbow on the desk and his fingers jabbed into his temple, a look of pure boredom and Falen sits rigid across from him, his fingers tapping idly along his crossed arms.
I take the only remaining seat, that seems to be much too close to Eric, who glares rather openly at me.
Of all the people he seems to be the most bothered by my lack of punctuality. As soon as I'm seated he shifts closer and I feel his firm grasp on my leg beneath the table.
"-simulations induces a hallucination based on that fear, and then transmits the data to a computer to be processed and observed." Jeanine angles herself in front of a diagram of the human brain.
I've probably missed a lot of their discussion but the topic seems relatively easy to follow along, and it's not as though I'm required to provide input.
"Currently the data is transmitted through electrodes, that monitor the brains activity, as well as the bodies physical responses-"
"Why the hell are you late?" Eric asks, leaning close enough to speak under his breath. Instead of answering I place my hand over his, stopping him from kneading his way further up my leg.
He laces his fingers between mine but squeezes them tightly between his knuckles, as though accepting but still angry.
"By introducing transmitters directly into the serum that gets injected into the system, we are able to cut out the need for excessive wires and electrodes. The data, is directly receivedand transmitted by-"
"How long do these transmitters last in the system?" Falen asks, interrupting Jeanine.
"Until the simulation is complete, or if you will, until the serum loses effect." She answers, unphased by his interruption. Falen looks unconvinced but rests back as if suddenly disinterested. "This will reduce interference-"
"So no more wires?" Max asks.
"Less wires." Jeanine elaborates. "Currently the transmitters only transmit a clearer visual of the brains activities and the simulation, in other words-"
"We still need wires and shit for everything else, got it. Is that all?" Max finishes impatiently. "It's not as though we needed a new serum just yet."
Jeanine frowns, unappreciating his way of undermining what she considers an achievement. Her eyes travel to me and then I realize why today would be unpleasant.
"I'm working on several new variations. It is a work-in-progress, so, many alterations to increase effectiveness will be made between now and your upcoming initiations but this is the most developed of my new stock." Jeanine explains. "For the meantime I believe you'll see a definitive improvement."
"Yeah, yeah." Max says tapping the ashes from his cigarette. A familiar setting though my position is much more restrictive.
To say it is a discomfort would be putting it mildly.
Jeanine leans forward across her console and crosses her arms, placing her chin on them and she gives me a smile. "We've also decided to revisit an older version of the fear serum itself for it's… Potency."
"Oh?" Falen asks but his expression is disinterested as he leans against the large window wall with his arms crossed.
"Potency?" Eric asks, with his hands clasped behind his back, seemingly more interested in whatever is displayed on the monitors of the console.
"The old serum, Genesis." Jeanine requests the explative.
She has spent most of her adult life developing the serums and obsessed with creating more advanced versions of the technology. Her intense fascination with the human mind.
"The old version of the serum had a potency level which overwhelmed the brain and made it too insensible with terror to invent new surroundings." I report. "Those that were-"
"Right, right, which was when it was diluted. I heard rumors about those incidents in Dauntless where people lost their minds." Eric laughs. "So there is some truth to it."
"Anyway, using the old formula, starting at the very first dilution as a base, we will work down from that. A stronger potency, I believe might help create a stronger simulation with my newly added development leading to stronger results and more data." Jeanine goes back to her console. "Garrett, if you will."
"Is all that really necessary?" Falen asks waving his hand.
"I agree, we can't be strapping our initiates down like that." Max adds before offering Falen a cigarette, which he declines.
They both seem unusually tense, considering I am the one in the chair.
"Precaution." Jeanine says simply without looking up, I hear the familiar clacking of keys. "If you remember previously, subjects experienced seizures and… Uncharactersitically violent physical reactions. The serum will be diluted upon further testing as needed to be more instructive, we can also add an oral muscle relaxant."
Garrett stands from where he was kneeled in front of me securing the leather around my ankles. I roll my wrists, and rest my head back trying to loosen my muscles and prepare my body.
He gives me a quick sympathetic look and I open my mouth for him to place the rubber between my teeth.
"Actually." Eric interrupts, I look to him with a flat unamused expression, closing my mouth instantly. "I think I have something she might prefer more than that rubber in her mouth."
Max coughs out smoke and beats his chest with a fist and Falen shakes his head. Jeanine remains oblivious but Garrett stands with his mouth agape.
I clench my jaw.
"Oh calm down." Eric rolls his eyes and kicks away from the console he stood leaning against and he strides to the chair.
I watch him produce and unwrap a lollipop.
A fucking lollipop.
My chest tightens. Already he is retaliating against me for my lack of punctuality and possibly for asking if he himself is Divergent earlier.
He leans over until his face is but several inches from mine. I've not been injected yet but my heart rate is elevating and my skin crawls.
"Cherry flavor." Eric says with a wide smile. His tongue slides over his teeth as he brings it closer to my closed mouth, "Ah." He says rasing his brows and opening his mouth as if intructing a child.
I swallow thickly and watch the blue-gray of his irises shift in amusement with the fluorescent lights.
"Gene doesn't like sweets." I hear Max comment, it sounds nonchalant and faraway now, as if I've been submerged. "Shouldn't you know that by now?"
"Oh, I do know." Eric replies frowning slightly, it's a mocking frown like a pout. "I know why as well, but I think she can re-develop a taste for it. Can't you, Gene? For me?"
My eyes travel to Jeanine, who doesn't appear amused but she watches the exchange with her arms crossed, tapping her nails against her sides. My look must be venomous because she purses her lips.
"That's enough, Eric." She says with a dismissive wave.
I take a deep breath in preparation to accept it. He turns to her with a raised brow, and I lean forward, clamping my teeth down on the stick. Unwilling to conceed.
My jaw hardens as the cherry flavor breaks across my tongue. The only thing I've ever hated more than chocolate, but no one could possibly know that.
No one but the Doctors who gave them as incentives, and Jeanine. Maybe I don't need his file after all. Obviously he knows as well.
"Look at that." Eric smiles once more as if proud. "It's not so bad, is it Gene?"
I jerk awake, gasping and clutching the chair. The muscles in my jaw and neck ache, probably from being clenched however long that took, and from biting down unevenly onto the stick of a lollipop rather than the proper mouth guard.
My chest heaves with every breath and my heart slams against my ribs, still unable to calm. Making little room for my lungs.
"It doesn't seem like you need to make many improvements at all." Falen says and he sounds impressed. They all stand behind the console, and none of them look to me, more interested by what they're looking at.
I swallow an excessive amount of saliva tinged with cherry flavored candy and close my eyes, resting my head back again trying to relax my tense muscles.
My fear is not of fire, nor is it of failure. It is not even of war. I sometimes think that it is self conscious maybe borne of what little I know of the past.
It was full of sounds, but I couldn't see, like I was staring into a black abyss. I could hear everything around me, the roar of an unstoppable force and the cries for help of every victim it consumed.
The cries, first distinguishable from each other, steadily grew so numerous that it became one, single, sustained note of panic and excruciating pain. Inescapable.
It is a black hole of maddness inside myself, that I fear.
The sound stays within my skull and ears but slowly recedes as I control my breathing and focus on the cold chair against my sweaty palms, and the light behind my eyelids turning them red and veiny.
The fears that came before already forgotten. I don't fear anything that can be killed or controlled.
I name the muscles throughout my body and as I do focus on relaxing them, loosening them. Mind over matter, the matter that makes up my body. Controlled by my mind.
Trapezius, sternocleidomastoid, pectoralis major, masseter. . .The muscles of my abdomen contract and relax, I feel my wound deeply.
A tug on the lollipop stick brings the hard candy against the back of my teeth and I open my eyes to see Eric.
"Ahh." He says with his mouth open and brows raised, again. I release the lollipop and he places it in his mouth before beginning to undo the restraints. "Have you been drinking?"
His expression becomes disdainful as he swishes the lollipop into his cheek. I don't answer, as I spend that capability scraping my tongue around my mouth to wash from it the taste and focus on quelling the violent urge to tear his piercings out as soon as my hands are freed.
"Drinking is what Dauntless do, in case you haven't noticed." Max says condescendingly. "I'm not surprised that she's driven to drink, being around you for five minutes and I can use a few myself."
Eric laughs and I remove the restraints around my ankles on my own, my hands eager to busy themselves.
"Was that all for today Jeanine? Or did you have something else?" Falen asks her.
"New data suggests that there are stronger levels of Divergence emerging, and If I am to develop a more effective way to identify them, I'll need to study more ma-"
I try to listen to Jeanine talking with Max and Falen but I watch as Garrett approaches each table with that purple syringe in hand, my arms crossed with my foot tapping.
Not to mention Eric, with his arms around my shoulders from behind and his chin resting on my head constantly interrupting their dialog.
"So why didn't you tell me before?" He inquires softly.
"Tell you what?" I ask disinterestedly, if I recall correctly he preffered my silence, even used the word 'muzzle.' He is a constant contradiction. Then other times wished me to speak on such unimportant topics.
Garrett's hands shake violently, it would be similar to before without Eric present. But to his credit he is a distraction to even this and although I may appear impatient, I am in no rush.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Eric says, pressing into my back. I put my hands in my pockets with my nails biting into my palms. "The reason you abstain, the reason you don't like sweets and of course the reason why it's so easy for you to kill."
"You seem to think they are all in relation."
"Aren't they?" He asks lowering his lips to my ear. They're not nearly relative topics. "Does it become easier to take life Gene, when you can't-"
"It is not unusual in the due process required by Dauntless and Erudite during childhood. Mine is simply permanent." I reply.
Being rendered incapable of reproducing was meant to be a consideration. Due to Divergence being so selective. It was thought it could appear in the spawns of individuals with transferred parents or ancestors.
Among other reasons for the procedure, for efficiency, it was also belived to be for my own good.
He laughs before placing his lips to my cheek, the lollipop stick angles and brushes along my jaw. "For someone so heartless, I'm surprised you're subconsciously effected by something so-"
I sigh deeply. "You think of it as an involuntary effect, and not my personal choice or preference."
"Ah, how unfortunate, to think how compatible our genes could've been. The perfect combination of Erudite and Dauntless, intelligent but heartless maybe we could've created our own divergence." He jokes morbidly.
"Interfaction relationships are strictly prohibited, you know this." I state flatly. A sour taste fills my mouth. "And our relationship was not based on compatibility, rather, one of inconvenience."
"Keep telling yourself that Gene." He murmurs. "By the way, isn't now about the time you would take over for that useless tool? You know spare him?" He gestures to Garrett. "He seems to be having difficulty."
Garrett is appearing to have increased difficulty, but I can tell his trembling is far from genuine. Overly forced.
I sigh, he's trying much too hard. But I wonder then, if it appeared that way before and I'm only now noticing its deception.
Eric removes the lollipop from his mouth with a pop of his lips and pinches my cheek till I accept it in mine. The cherry overpowers the flavor of smoke and he shoves me forward.
I touch Garretts elbow lightly and he turns to me. His eyes are glossy and I suppose he must still be afraid, not for the same reasons and maybe not for himself.
I would not trust me either.
He'd not mentioned who had told me I would be willing to assist him but I gather it would be a certain leader who can't take the risk himself at the moment.
He surrenders the syringe and I approach one of the unconscious. A female who appears my age.
She has pale skin littered with surgical scars and black wiry hair, her cheeks are rosy and though her eyes are closed I know they are dark brown.
"Thank you… Genesis." He says under his breath, the tremor is there as he backs away, running his fingers through his own black wiry hair.
I sigh again, as if it is simply the way I breathe now with lungs that don't have enough space to contain a full breath for long or the capability of expanding again after putting the effort in already.
"Yeah Genesis, thank you." Eric mimics in a high tone. "For putting these poor unfortunate souls out of their misery."
I use my tongue to push the lollipop into my cheek. "It's a coincidence that you should think that way." I reply to Eric without inflection as I push the plunger and empty the liquid beneath her skin.
Her breathing halts after I count the seconds and Garrett turns off the machine as it flatlines, trying to make himself busy though I know he is listening closely.
His shaking has already stopped.
"Is it because you feel the same way?" Eric asks snidely leaning casually against one of the bodies and the table with his arms crossed.
"No." I reply casually, again, placing the syringe on the metal handcart as Garrett prepares another for the last patient. I swish the lollipop into my other cheek.
"Because, it was I, who put your brother out of his misery the same way."
A wicked smile spreads over Eric's face, stretching over his teeth, the new piercing in his lip glints menacingly.
"I know." He replies with a shrug. "I'm sure I made it clear that I know nearly everything about you."
I flick the glass of the new syringe with my nail. I have the sudden urge to bury this needle into his neck.
But even if I were to use it on Eric, he would not die, because this isn't death serum. I wonder then, perhaps, if the previous one wasn't also.
"So it would seem." I reply lost in an almost hopeful thought.
Eric's fingers tangle in my hair, my teeth pinching his earlobe. He shivers at my breath in his ear.
"I want my knife." I command. His other hand grips my thigh sliding my leg around his hip pressing me into the wall and he chuckles.
"Now, you're asking for something? Why would you want that Genie?" He asks, though his tone is hardly questioning.
"And I want a mask." I lie. The answer to his question should be obvious now, and I can tell he likes it, by the way his eyes darken when he pulls my hair back to study my flat expression. "And your watch."
"Those Divergent weren't enough?" His brow raises but his eyes fall to my lips before pulling me in, placing his mouth on mine. Not waiting for an answer.
My lips part for him and he traces them with his tongue before yanking my head back by the hair once more and I feel his breath on my neck. A threat.
"My, you are insatiable, how will you ever handle yourself in Erudite?" He purrs, seemingly pleased at the way I've chosen to go about making my requests, or possibly of my requests. It is hard to tell which of his desires is stronger.
"I want to investigate something." I hardly need anything enough to subject myself to this degrading behavior, but as he had already initiated it himself, morbidly aroused by our earlier exchange I thought to use it to my advantage for once.
"I assume you need these things by tonight?" He murmurs, talking into my skin. His hand releases my leg and moves to my lower back. "What if I had plans?"
He wants me to bargain. To offer something more. I don't ask him what he wants, because he could ask for anything, even something unreasonable.
Instead I kiss him. Grasping the collar of his jacket with one hand to pull him back in.
"Mmm, I like when you need something." His voice heavy with his mouth against mine.
The kiss is rough, teeth collide and bite at each other, his hand tangles in my hair, wrapping it in a fist.
"They must be wondering what's taking us so long." Eric breathes with a laugh, before trailing hungry kisses along my jaw. "Remind me to thank Max."
I sigh and let him force my head against his chest, cradled in his neck, I don't stop him when he strokes my hair, my lungs getting used to air again.
"He thinks I can convince you to choose Dauntless." Eric says. "Your Erudite has been showing and I'm not the only one that's noticed… You're the best attack dog we've got so of course they'd be reluctant to give you up to Jeanine and Erudite."
I run my thumb over the zipper of his jacket that I still have clutched in my fist.
"Aptitudes are absolute." I say with finality.
He laughs again as if I've told a joke.
"Tell them that and then try asking them for something." Eric says suggestively, I hear the sound of keys. "You could probably get anything you wanted from them."
"Your humor is depraved." I reply releasing him with a shove to go back around to the front of Erudite, and the parked truck.
"Oh I wasn't joking."