THE EYE OF THE STORM — PART 9

Every step down the stairs reverberated inside Nick's body like a new twist of a double-edged knife lodged in him all the way through the bleeding wound in his left side. He tightened his teeth as the bottom of the stairs swam in front of his eyes. It all felt like justice he fully deserved.

Liam observed him with a wonder and interest. The nonchalant sneer came through again. "You look like a freight train hit you. My guess would be she looked even worse, huh." When Nick said nothing, slowly approaching where he sat, Liam tipped his head with a sort of curiosity masking the unsettling feeling Nick's deadpan demeanor inspired. "So what now? You gonna take it out on me? Go ahead, let them all see your true colors."

Nick stopped five feet short of his chair, looking down at him with an expression of someone pondering whether the painting was in the right spot. "No," he said after a beat. "I'm not doing shit. It's up to her now what happens to your friend and you as well."

Liam chortled indignantly. "I was trying to prevent this crap, okay? I told you I was gonna let her go, and I fucking meant it! You fucked it up, not me. I was gonna save her. I still would—"

"Cut the crap, Liam," Nick said in a tired voice. "We both know what kind of saving that was. You wanted to offer her to leave me to die for it. I don't know what you think a sister should feel in this situation, but it doesn't matter now."

"It does! It absolutely fucking does matter, Nick, because if it were my sister, I'd want her to live. I offered it to you because it's something I'd want to get if I were you, and John woulda never allowed this. How can you stand here now and accuse me of brokering an ugly deal? Huh? When all about this situation is on you. I'm just a messenger here, and you gonna shoot the messenger – or, rather, torture him – for something he's not responsible for in the first place. So what does it make you?"

Nick spread his arms, "What does it make me?"

Liam studied him for a long moment. Then gave a soft unexpected chuckle of amused disbelief. "You know, I asked around the Bazaar about you. They did think you were dead, but I was still curious. I mean, some gringo and such a big deal! I had to know. Someone told me you were seen at that drug bar, and I spoke to El Matarife. He remembered you well, said you were cool, procured the dead for him for a short while, fun to chat with. And then there are the Mexicans along the river – and that's amazeballs, Nick. You're like a legend for them now. The one who released the river to the people. They think your spirit lives in it now or some bullshit like that, they near damn worship you there. How fucked up is that, huh? You're like that motherfucking chameleon, man. Changing your color to blend in, and everybody likes you wherever you go. Like magic."

Nick swallowed with effort, willing the nausea down. He wanted to be sick.

"But you know what," Liam said, eyeballing him knowingly, "I think you're getting confused between those masks you put out. Do you even know who you are anymore?"

Something was whistling in Nick's ears, ringing louder in the center of his brain, and he closed his eyes for just a moment to push away the voices closing in.

(…you know who you are…)

(…not what I asked, son…)

(…you're becoming one of them…)

(…look at what it's done to you…)

(…this hero who stood up against the Indians…)

(…you stood up with Troy…)

(…we're more alike than you think…)

"See, you're talking a lot about killing and torture and cutting body parts, but you get them girls do it for you. So where do you stand, Nick? I get it, much tougher when it's not your own ass you're putting on the line and blowing up the dam under it, eh? When it's someone else you have to off? Is that it, Nick? You can't get over that barrier unless someone pushes it? Well, there's still hope for you then. It's not a bad thing, you know it, right? There should be a line you don't cross, because when you do, you're one of the beasts. I'm not it, Nick. You ain't, either."

(…poets kill same as anyone…)

Nick chuckled softly, but it was a weak and barely-there smile holding no more amusement than there was water in the hot desert sand. "Where do you draw your line, Liam?"

"I'd never kill a child. I wouldn't rape a woman. I like a fair game and try to play it."

"And yet you'd let your friends do it for you."

Liam smirked. "I can't control what other people do. I'm only responsible for my own actions. But if it was in my power to change it, I would. Which I did with your sister. No one lay a finger on her until you made it happen."

"You ordered it, did you not?"

"You're threatening me, Nick! Come on. Why wouldn't I protect myself? I'm not suicidal. Are you?"

"Well, see, there's a difference between protecting yourself and protecting someone you love. You're right, it's much easier when you pull the trigger on yourself rather than someone else. It's true. But is there a line, is there a limit when it's someone you love who depends on what you do?"

Liam frowned, uncertain that he liked where it was going.

"Where is that line, Liam, when you have to choose between a life that's dear to you and someone else's? Where is that line and what is all that humanity worth when you should give up on your family so someone you don't know lives? How saint would you have to be for that and what good would it do to know you coulda saved your loved one and you saved someone else instead?"

"The 'eye for an eye' law exists since the dawns of time, Nick, because it's how it is. A life for a life, a tooth for a tooth. If you have to save your family – it's what you do. You protect your own. I protect mine. That's how we got here."

"You were protecting the status you wanted to get, and you wanted to sell our lives for it."

"I tried to make life better for my group! We are a pack, a family! You might not see it that way, but they are for me. I got no one else in the world, and they are what your two are for you. You do dig it, I know you do. We're sick of surviving, Nick! There's nothing else in this world but surviving. I wanted us to live. Can you blame me for that? Can you, really? Go ahead and tell me you wouldn't want to secure a life for your sister and your friend where they didn't have to risk being ripped apart or starving to death or being shot by a bunch of strangers? Tell me you wouldn't do anything in your power to spare them that! So why the hell are you standing here and accusing me?"

"I'm not blaming you," Nick said, finding that it was true. He felt no anger. He was just tired. Very tired. "You're right. It's how we got here. It was you or us, and so it is. When I stood on that dam bridge and John was trying to bullshit me into joining them and rule over whatever they stole from other people, I told him I was looking for a third way. He said there wasn't one. I hated him for it then. But I can see it now."

"The fuck you're talking about?"

Nick smiled and bent a little to level with him, swallowing back the pain it cost. "I may not be a killer. I may not be a beast. Or maybe you got it right and I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't enjoy killing, Liam. I don't enjoy ending lives, be it good or bad guys. But this time I will step on my own throat, step over myself and everything I tried to believe I still was, and I'm going to do what it takes to make sure my family lives another day. I'll swallow my guilt and I'll find a way to live with it somehow. Because this time, Liam, there is no third way. Sometimes it's just you or them. And I know it's hard for you to get it through your head just yet, but soon you will. You are gonna die." He straightened up with a fleeting grimace and began to leave.

"There is a third way, Nick! There is. Because it's not that fucked up philosophy you tried to conjure, it's all simple as shit! It's your choice. Only yours. You choose whatever the fuck you want, and you got all the choices. You just choose the simplest one, and bad ones are easy, aren't they? It's the easiest way to pick, it's easy to become the beast. Is that what you want? Is that what you want your sister to see in you?"

Nick stopped and turned back to him with a look of a parent tired of explaining the same damn thing about why the sky is blue to his little kid. "You don't get out of this, Liam. You told me yourself – I can't let you go."

"Yes, you fucking can. It's a choice."

"So you run back to John with new leads? Nah."

Liam pursed his lips, vexed. "You were living under that bounty all this time, so you shall until they find you, because you can't take them all out, Nick. Get that through your head. It's a ticking bomb pinned to you, and it's gonna go off at some point. So why does it matter?"

"This town matters. I can run, but they can't."

"Why the fuck not? They will be alive! Isn't that a lot already?"

"If it was enough, you wouldn't be here cuffed to that pipe. You'd be having it your way. But you're here because just being alive is not enough for people who have kids and elders. They don't want to be surviving. They want to live. And it's like you said – life for a life. The law of nature, or ancient magic or heck knows what."

"There's too many lives to take, Nicky. My pack is coming for you, and they have all the guns and power to take you all down. You can't win this. You still can't. Unless you let me go. I still will keep the deal. Alicia and Troy are free to go. People, too."

Nick narrowed his eyes, "You only wanted to let her go because you knew she wouldn't get anywhere. You wanted me to believe she was safe, and then John would come and you'd bring her right in like a bonus for the party. Like a stripper in a cake."

"That's not true! Look, I can save Troy, if you let me go."

"Where is he?"

"Let me go and I tell you."

Nick sighed, and started up the stairs.

"You're getting him killed, Nick!" Liam called after him. The basement echo was shattering Nick's skull, or it was just his imagination now that the new strain sent blood to flush deafeningly in his ears. "You're all dead if I don't help you! Don't be stupid, Nick!"

Nick shut the door and made a crippled jog for the bathroom – luckily the door to it was ajar and he saw it. He all but fell on the toilet and vomited something bloody. His insides squelched and twirled in agony, his vision grew dark and only cleared up a little when he was sitting on the floor next to the toilet with his back against the wall. The tiles were cold, making him shiver. He thought of pills in his pocket, but the few feet toward the basin and tap were a whole way back to California. He couldn't make it. Not yet.

Seth finally stirred and Eira retrieved a new sedative from her stash of medications. It took her a minute longer than usual, seeing as nothing had yet been put back into its proper place after being unloaded from the truck again.

But she was there when he woke up. Ready.

Seth's eyes opened and once realization set in he was not in a familiar place, he started. A groan ripped through him as the cuffs held him back, cutting into his wrists.

Eira smiled serenely. "Hi there."

Seth squinted through the unlit room, struggling to make her out. Eira leaned over to turn on the lamp on the nightstand, illuminating them both in a soft orange glow.

"You're that doctor chick," he spat, blinking the sleep from his eyes. "Where the fuck am I?"

Eira looked down on him from where she stood, letting her gaze roam his body as if this was the first time she had seen it. "Hell," she replied softly, making him snort.

"Fuck off."

"Make me," she challenged, raising the syringe to ensure no air had snuck its way inside. It was truly just for show.

Seth growled in recognition. "Get that the fuck away from me," he began, then as if his memory had only just kicked into gear, his eyes grew dark as they flicked to his thigh. "Where is that little bitch?" Eira didn't answer and Seth managed a gleeful smile. "She dead?"

Eira shook her head. "Alicia will be fine. Better than you, poor thing."

He raised his chin defiantly. "Yeah? You gonna kill me?"

"Eventually."

He suddenly kicked out at her, leg sweeping off the bed to try and catch her side. Eira stepped out of reach, looking down at him as if he was the most pitiful creature she'd ever seen. "I'm unimpressed."

Seth tugged on his restraints again, making the wood of the headboard creak dangerously. He roared in frustration when they didn't give. "I'm gonna rip you apart, you bitch!"

Eira gave a slow nod as if considering that to be a possibility. "You'll have to wait your turn. I'm still circling my chair and the music hasn't stopped." She took a seat next to him, out of the way of his swinging legs, holding up the syringe once more. "I've always wondered what happens when you inject bleach into someone's bloodstream," she mused quietly, turning to meet Seth's gaze, which was gleaming with fury and desperate panic. "I bet it'll hurt."

"Don't you fucking da–"

She jabbed him in the upper arm, wincing as she withdrew the needle. "Oops, not where that was meant to go. Sorry. I'm out of practice."

He groaned in pain and anger. If looks could kill, Eira would be long dead.

She smiled as she made a second attempt. "Damn it, I just can't get this right. Third time's the charm, eh? Now, you let me know if your heart starts cramping, won't you?"

He inhaled sharply, eyes finally wide with fear. "Don't!"

Eira found her target and pushed the plunger, watching as Seth fell back into dreamland.

He deserved so much worse than a little fear, but Eira would settle for the little mind games. For now.

"Jesus, man, you got internal bleeding or something?"

Nick opened his eyes and waited for them to focus on Ollie who was kneeling before him, side-eyeing the toilet with blood in it. "No," Nick said. "Probably not."

"Your shirt is soaked. Lemme help you to Eira-"

"She's busy. And I need a minute."

"You gonna pass out and die, and they gonna ask me what I was thinking when I didn't get you help."

"You can't help me," Nick said. "No one can. I can't go to Eira. She'll make me lie down, and if I do, we all gonna die. I have to get a grip and try to save the town."

Ollie made a tsking sound. "Look, you can't run around bleeding, okay? You need help, or you'll just die and we're all screwed anyway."

"You ever killed anyone?"

Ollie was stunned, not only by the question, but also by the way Nick was looking at him, as though from the other side. "No," he managed, swallowing. He thought to ask whether Nick had, but thought better of it.

"Would you kill to save your brother?"

Ollie liked it less and less, his insides growing cold like gooseflesh breaking over the skin when, as they said, someone stepped on your grave. "I… I dunno. Maybe…"

Nick's mouth twitched ironically. "When you carry a gun around, you'll use it one day. And if you leave your gun behind, you'll use your teeth when you have to."

Because someday you won't have a choice. Nick closed his eyes and saw his mother's face.

"Shit, man." Ollie got up and jogged out of the house, calling for his brother.

"Jeez," Tony hissed, hitting the toilet flush. "Come on, help me get him." Ollie stepped over Nick's legs, and they pulled him up, trying to be careful.

Halfway to the infirmary Wanda caught up. "What is going on?"

"He's not doing well," Tony grunted. Ollie went ahead to hold the door as Tony half dragged Nick in, with his arm around his waist. "Eira! Which bed?"

"Next bedroom," Eira gestured without hesitation. They had yet to move Seth and she didn't want the two in the same room.

She followed them inside, standing back as they positioned Nick on the bed, then moved in closer. "Can you get the other one out of here as soon as possible?" she asked the two brothers. "I gave him another dose of sedatives, but I'd rather not keep wasting them on him."

"Gonna do it now," Tony nodded. "Got the key for the cuffs?"

"Oh my God," Wanda whispered, looking at Alicia. The girl seemed to be dozing, her face twitching subtly like from a bad dream.

"Kitchen counter," Eira told Tony and the two brothers disappeared to handle it.

"I think she'll be okay," she murmured to Wanda who looked utterly shocked and pained by what she was seeing. "She's still stable."

As for Nick, he was bleeding again, or at least had been very recently. Eira lifted his shirt and peeled away the soiled bandages, pressing gauze to the wound in order to ensure the bleeding would soon stop. "You with me, Nick?"

His eyes were opening and closing and it seemed he was struggling to focus.

He glimpsed her blond hair in gleaming lights, her face was so close like she was about to kiss him.

I'll take you home.

"Gloria..." he breathed, and groaned at a twinge in his side. Pain sobered him a little. He tried to blink the haze away.

"Almost but not quite," she said, removing the gauze to inspect the wound closer. If he kept going at this rate, he'd never heal and infection would be certain.

"Wanda, would you please call for Leticia once Tony and Ollie take our prisoner outside? I could use an extra pair of hands in here."

The mayor nodded, tearing her eyes off Alicia. "Yes, of course."

Eira knew the woman was brimming with concern and questions that needed answers, but was grateful that Wanda was choosing not to air them at this particular moment.

"I'll be right back," Wanda said, disappearing from view as Eira continued to work on patching Nick up again the best she could.

It looked blurry, but he was beginning to see through the veil. It was the infirmary. Another bout of pain pushed a grunt out of him. "I can't be here," he whispered. "There's no time… for this…"

"We have to make time," Eira responded calmly. "You won't be helping anyone if you keel over in the next hour, Nick. Just let me do my thing and we'll see where that leaves us."

"They'll be here tomorrow seven or before," he said, afraid to close his eyes. He couldn't pass out now. "We have just hours left for a whole damn plan."

"Yes," she agreed. "So we'll have to do the best with what we have." She fastened his new bandages, removing her gloves to test the temperature of his forehead. "How much Oxy have you taken today?"

"I think they ran out a while ago. I feel like dying. Didn't take any new."

"Have you taken anything else today?"

Nick frowned, straining his memory, but came up with nothing. "I dunno. Probably not."

She sighed. His inability to remember was a problem. It made what she was about to do very risky. "I'm gonna give you a patch of Fentanyl. Won't help your addiction any," she warned. "But it'll take the pain for a while. Are you okay with that?"

"I'm okay with anything that gets me out of this bed. No matter the consequences. We're beyond that worry."

"Stay here."

Eira rushed back into the examination room to locate what she needed, checking Alicia's pulse while she was at it to make sure nothing had changed there.

When she returned to Nick, she cleaned the crook of his arm and slowly and as gently as possible injected him. She'd used the lowest dosage possible but it would still be effective.

"Soon," she soothed, giving his hand a light squeeze before going to dispose of the syringe.

"How is she?" He was afraid to ask, but not knowing felt no less torturous.

"Battered and bruised," Eira said honestly. "But stable. I gave her some painkillers too."

"How bad is it?"

"It's hard to tell. I don't think anything is broken. But she's going to be sore for a while. We'll know more once she wakes."

He drew in a long breath and tried to sit up. His eyes saw blurry for a moment, and nausea punched a fist to the base of his throat, but then gradually began to subside.

"Eira?" Leticia called from the examination room. "You here?"

"In here," Eira answered, hovering by Nick's side just to make sure he wasn't about to drop. "You still need to limit your movement, take it as easy as possible," she told him. "If you need something done, delegate."

"I can't delegate this to any of your people," Nick said. "I'm not getting anyone else killed."

"Nick, I know what you think of us but we're not all useless," Eira said firmly. "So don't be an idiot; use us."

"Hey," Leticia said, then she saw Nick and gaped. "Oh my God, what happened? You got shot?"

Nick smirked. "No. Despite the looks, I'm not dying yet."

"Leticia, I'm glad you're here. I have a task for you. I need your help with Alicia." Eira gestured back to the examination room and led the way there.

"What can I do?" Leticia asked, close on Eira's heels. She paused once she saw Alicia up close, her mouth hanging open. "What happened to her?"

"One of those guys she was with beat her up."

"Why?" Leticia gasped, peering down at Alicia.

"Because he's an asshole. Look here," Eira gestured to the cuts on Alicia's face. "We need to close these two here, forehead and just over her eyebrow. Surgical glue. I want you to do it."

Leticia's eyes went wide again. "Really? Are you sure?"

Eira nodded and gave a small smile. "You know how. Go for it."

Nick took a few swigs of water in the kitchen, then lingered a moment on his way out. They were working on Alicia, and he couldn't wait.

"Eira?" Wanda appeared in the doorway. Her eyes fell to Nick, and widened, taking in the bloody shirt. "God, are you okay? You need to be down."

"No, I'm gonna be okay while I have to be. We gotta talk, like you said."

"Sure, yes… Oh, Logan is here. We let him in, he's here for you."

"Good. I need him. We all do." Nick turned to Eira. "And you, too. When you're done, come." He shot a glance Alicia's way, and headed for the door where Wanda waited, her two nephews looming behind her.

Eira watched over Leticia as she worked on the first cut, giving her an approving smile. "Perfect, Leti. Now just do what you did here with this other one. I need to go meet with the others, so you're in charge while I'm gone. You comfortable with that?"

Leticia looked a mix between nervous and elated. "Yes! I mean… I can do it."

"Thank you. All you have to do is watch over her, keep her calm if she wakes up. I'm gonna send Rose over as well. That way if something does happen, one of you can come find me."

Leticia nodded. "Okay. It'll be fine. We know what to do."

Eira smiled again and headed for the door, making one stop on the way to ensure Rose would go help Leticia.

The briefing took a bit longer than Nick was comfortable with, growing antsier the more time passed, but every side involved had to understand the whole picture and the details making it whole. When he finished, the town management was silent for a while, astonished and scared, some also disbelieving. Nick understood the reaction and waited for anyone to go first. It was Wanda.

"This plan is crazy, Nick. It's… So much can go wrong."

"It's a bit crazy, yes," he agreed. "And a bit reckless, but it's also rather simple. And it means it will probably work. I'll do what I can to ensure that, because it's all we can actually pull off before the next seven PM hits. We don't have time for anything else."

"Well, damn," Logan pulled off his cap and was rubbing his balding scalp with a wistful mien. "It does smell a bit insane, but not that much if you really think about it. I guess if we start right now, we can just about do it."

"If there is no other choice worth mentioning," the Police Chief said, and shrugged, "that's it then. It'll take all of us, so we need to inform the folks."

"Yes, we have to do it in batches, each of us four gathers a group," Wanda looked at her council colleagues.

"We shall," Mary said. "Just need to be saying the exactly same thing."

"We got a printer running," Jeff said. "We write it down and print to read to them."

"Decided, then," Todd said, and looked to Nick. "You sure you can do this? No offence to our wondrous doc lady, but she ain't a witch."

Nick restrained a laugh, shooting a look Eira's way that was both amusement and warmth. "I think I'd be out cold if she wasn't."

"He won't be alone," Logan said. "We can do this."

When they walked out of the City Hall, Eira approached Nick. "I'd like to come outside," she said. "I want to help."

"I'll wait at the gate," Logan said, giving Nick an awkward look, and went away.

"You're needed here," Nick said. "Help them get things done. It's important, and I can't supervise it."

"They have it handled. It's not like they let me supervise anything other than the medical situations anyway. And the girls have that covered. It's what I've been training them for since the start," she replied. "Look, I've been told there's a pretty good chance I might die tomorrow. I don't want to fade away without having seen what the world is like out there now."

"We're doing it to prevent anyone dying. Even in the worst case scenario, no one is their right mind kills a medic." He smiled a little. "I want you safe."

"Ditto," she smirked. "But one way or another I am going out there for a look before everything in here goes to shit. I'll probably be safer with you. Don't you think?"

Nick squinted in a mock disbelief, "You blackmailing me?"

"Blackmail sounds so ugly. Just call it willful convincing." She sobered, meeting his gaze. "I need this."

Nick considered her for a long moment, dancing between amusement and annoyance. And knowing. "Need?"

She leaned in closer so he could hear her whisper. "I need to get out of here. I need to breathe."

"It's toxic out there," he whispered.

"It's hell in here."

"You're just being difficult now." Nick huffed an exhale. "Fine, I'll take you to this place I gotta go. But you do what I say and you watch out, because I might not be able to cover your back."

She smiled, genuinely elated. "Yes, sir."

They met Robin outside and Eira pulled him to her to relay that she needed him to inform Rose and Leticia that they'd be on their own for a while, and to call for Ramesh in case of an emergency. He knew first aid and had apparently helped deliver his own baby once upon a time. More importantly, she trusted him.

"Make sure Alicia's okay," Nick said at the gate. "I need to grab some stuff and get a truck. I'll get you in thirty. Wear something you won't mourn. Just in case." He went out where Logan and a few of the guards and police trainees were waiting. A couple of them still wore masks.

"How many trucks you think we need?" Logan asked.

"As many as we can get," Nick said. "Should be at least two people per truck, better three, but that's reaching."

"I'll radio and see who's around," Logan said. "They'll bring what they find. Okay, you guys, let's get going. You get shotgun, Nick. Can't have you rolling around the truck body like a pea in an empty can with that hole in yer side."

Eira stopped by her house first, bypassing the guards who were keeping an eye on the captives.

"He awake?" she asked and gestured to the basement.

The guard nodded. "Yeah. We gagged them. They were making a lot of ruckus."

Eira nodded and jogged up the stairs to the second floor. She changed into a pair of boots she could easily run in, but otherwise kept her outfit the same. Clothes didn't matter much to her anyway.

In one of the bedroom drawers she found her uncle's old hunting knife. It was still sharp and barely used. It might come in handy.

"How you feeling, Alicia?" Eira asked once she stopped by the infirmary. Rose and Leticia were at the girl's side and Robin kept guard in the hallway.

"Like shit," Alicia murmured through cracked lips. "But I'll live."

"Yeah, you will," Eira smiled.

"Where's my brother?"

"Outside. We're going on a little errand. We'll be back as soon as possible."

Alicia didn't look happy but Eira wasn't sure if it was because Nick was going out or if it was due to her injuries. Possibly both. "Watch out for him?"

Eira nodded. "Of course."

She left Leticia and Rose with instructions on what to do, and she helped them move Alicia to a more comfortable bed. The girl was waking on her own, but benefitted from the support of Leticia and Rose.

Then, finally, Eira returned to the gate.

Nick parted with Logan and the boys at the site where they had met for the first time, each had a task. Nick drove the truck he had picked, careful around the turns while he adjusted and checking the map Logan had given him with a light turned on over his head. It was hard to multitask like that, but he had no spare minutes to lose.

The drive went on smoother as he got a handle on it, and he had about ten minutes left for a little pit stop at the house they had been occupying before everything went to hell.

It was empty and felt haunting now that Alicia and Troy were out. Nick didn't want to risk turning on the lights, so he went by his memory, rummaging through the boxes and bags in the kitchen drawers where Alicia had stored their supplies. He snatched three Marlboro packs, a couple lighters, found a couple power bars and left the bottles alone, even though he somehow found an immense craving for a swig of whiskey or better yet brandy.

He shoved the findings in his pockets and went upstairs. There was a denim jacket in one of the closets, he took it along with two spare shirts. Then he stopped in Troy's room doorway, staring at his empty crumpled bed for a while, nearly forgetting he was in a hurry. His eyes landed on the pink bottle still sitting on the bedside table, and he felt a set of cold fingers wrapping around his heart. He set his jaw, taking a staggering step back from the doorway, then another, and turned to descend the stairs. Outside, the stinging in his eyes passed.

In a couple of minutes, he pulled over outside Sonora gates to pick Eira up. The truck was aiming its nose south. Nick pushed the driver's door open and held out a hand for her. "Ever wanted to drive a truck, lady doc?"

"Never really gave it much thought," she laughed, letting him help her up. "But I'm a quick study." She closed the door behind her and gave the dashboard a look, adjusting the seat to her height.

It was a lot harder to maneuver the truck around the streets than her aunt's Volvo, but she managed. And once they got out onto the highway, everything went much smoother.

"Doing good," Nick praised, looking up from the map. It was dark, but the road band was clearly visible while the moon was out. "Don't veer us off the road, and we have a chance to survive this ride."

"Such confidence you have in my abilities," she grinned, keeping her eyes on the road. "You know, this isn't too different from what I'm used to. No other cars on the road, no lights. Spent many a summer-eve drive that way."

"Do tell," Nick smiled. "It's not the shortest drive." He pointed at the map.

"It doesn't really get dark in the summers. Few hours at most if you're down south. So sometimes they shut off all the streetlights to save on electricity," she said, a slight nostalgic gleam in her eyes. "And the country roads can be entirely empty for a long time. Makes you feel all alone. But in a good way. Like all that nature, the stars, the mountains… they're just for you."

He gave her a warm look. "You gonna make me homesick for a place I've never been."

"Good. Then I don't have to feel homesick by myself." She gave him a playful look. "Who is Gloria?"

Nick blinked, stunned out of his smile and all thoughts. It came about slowly. "Did I…"

"Muttered her name earlier," Eira confirmed, taken aback by the way his face had fallen. "Bad memories?"

Nick shook his head slowly, returning his eyes to the map. "Good ones. About when she was alive."

"Sorry," she murmured. "Before the outbreak?"

"She… marked the start of it for me."

She watched him for a few seconds at a time, careful not to veer off the road. "Girlfriend?"

"We were at an abandoned church with a bunch of other people, half of which I didn't even know. I woke up, and everyone was gone. I went to look and found her. Crouched over one of ours, eating his face off."

Eira arched a brow. "That must have been traumatic." She waited a beat. "Did you have to put her down?"

Nick emitted a sardonic laugh. "I was still half-high and thinking I was going insane. She went for me, and there was a knife in her chest. I ran away."

"Are those the kind of things you see when high?"

"Can't speak for all, but I never have. Not like this. Hence, I thought I went crazy. I also thought my dealer pushed me something fucked-up."

"Not an unreasonable assumption. Makes more sense than zombie outbreak," she conceded.

Nick folded the map and put it on the dashboard. "I didn't want to be insane. But I guess I'd take that over her death."

"And the dam?" Eira asked after a moment. "What's that about?"

He gave her a side-glance. "Is that an interrogation? All my secrets for none of yours?"

She smiled a little. "What makes you think I have secrets?"

"Everybody does."

She glanced over at him, still smiling. "Ask."

He was about to tell her to surprise him, but then another idea flashed in his mind. "You tortured anyone before?"

"Yes," Eira said, fixing her gaze on the road.

That fell apart into a whole bunch of other questions, but in the core of it, Nick didn't feel surprised. "More than once, I take it."

She didn't answer, letting the silence speak for itself. "That repulse you?"

Nick watched the road, thinking back to how Daniel was looking at him, asking the same question over and over, taking his shirt off and ordering Nick to sit. "Why were you doing it?"

She was silent for some time, not sure how much to spill. "Information. Punishment on rare occasions."

He looked at her, keen-eyed. "Had to or wanted to?"

"Keeping my family safe." She met his gaze for as long as the road would allow. "So both, I guess."

He nodded, averting his attention to the road again.

"Disappointed by that answer?"

"Think I should be?"

She smiled again, shrugging. "Most would. But you're not most."

"Not disappointed. Nor repulsed. I'm an addict – as far from morality police as it gets."

"Have you ever had to kill anyone since this all started? Someone not already dead, that is?"

"Yeah. That dealer I thought was my friend. I met him to ask what was in the shit he gave me, and he drove me to a storm drain on the outskirts and tried to kill me. He had a gun, we fought, and he got the bullet."

She nodded. "Self-defense. A lot of that going around these days, I bet."

"Well, I tried to stick to killing the dead."

"More of them than us, I suppose," Eira mused. "Didn't see that coming in my lifetime."

"No one did. Though I met people who didn't put them down. They believed it was what comes next, like some new link. They kept them locked up and fed them."

"Sounds like a step down in evolution in my opinion, but hey, who am I to judge?" She pondered. "Do the dead eat dead flesh?"

"Not that I saw. They lose interest when the prey dies and grows colder."

"That's savage." Another bout of silence. "Any theories on how it started? Think it was biological warfare? Or has nature simply decided she'd had enough of us?"

"I don't think it's a long miss to assume that some military scientists fucked up. Whatever the hell is the reason, it doesn't matter now because it's irreversible. Once you die, you're dead. Once you get bit, the infection and fever kill you and it's believed to have no cure. The fever is too much to handle."

"Have you known anyone who got bit?" Eira asked, fascinated by the topic but wary of triggering some sort of grief reaction from him.

"Yeah, several people. No one survived it. You get about two days, and then fever kills you. All there is to do is painkillers. Drugs."

"I think that's going to happen with a lot of diseases now. Maybe not as quickly but…" She sighed. "Back to the dark ages. Where something as simple as the flu can kill you."

Nick scoffed a short laugh. "You can trip as you walk and break your neck. It's always been like that, life is dangerous. Medicine and science got us a bit spoiled, is all."

"It's okay," she grinned. "I never imagined myself as an old lady anyway."

He looked at her, a derisive smile dawning, "Live fast, die young?"

"Something like that." Her eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Better not tonight. So we'll play it safe."

"I've no plans of being reckless," she agreed.

"Glad to hear it." He checked the map and pointed through the windshield, "That turn over there. We're looking for a military base."

Eira slowed the speed of the truck to make the turn, biting her lip and siting up taller as she steered them in the right direction.

She could spot a road sign up ahead illuminated by the headlights, and when they came close enough she could make out the words Laughlin Air Force Base.

"That it?" she asked, keeping the pace slow.

"Yup, seems like it. Turn the lights off and try to go carefully. Better be less noticeable."

She complied, switching off the lights and waiting a beat for her eyes to adjust before continuing.

They drove through the north gate and followed the road until they reached empty runways on to their left and a collection of various buildings to their right.

The buildings were hard to identify without a light source and it was quickly made clear they'd have to get closer on foot to find what they needed.

Eira parked where Nick asked her to and after making sure no one had been attracted by the sound of the truck, they climbed out.

Nick looked around, paying attention to all the shadows and shapes around them to make sure it was clear. He spotted a staggering figure further down the runway, and took Eira by the shoulders, locking her concentration on what he wanted to say. "Listen, you need to stay inside and wait for me. It's important. Nighttime is the worst for training like this. I don't wanna lose you tonight, so please, wait in the truck. Okay?"

She didn't even hesitate. "Okay." She'd promised him, after all, and she'd meant it. "Be careful."

It wasn't necessarily what she wanted to do; stay behind like a useless player. But she wasn't going to risk Nick's safety further. If this was what he needed, she'd comply.

Once Eira climbed back behind the wheel, Nick changed his jacket to the one he had picked up earlier, then closed the door and strolled around the truck's front, clapping his hands together loudly. The staggering figure began to put more pep into its stride and Nick waited where he stood for the walker to approach, keeping his trench knife at ready.

When the deed was done and the walker slumped down, Nick noted to himself with dismay that the painkiller was beginning to wane. He crouched next to the dead and cut the clothes open on its stomach. The corpse was not fresh, but it had to do. He braced himself and cut into the putrid flesh to put on his makeup.

Eira rested her hands and chin on the steering wheel as she watched Nick work, her brows raising once she saw him take down the walking corpse, slit it open, and smear its blood all over his face and torso.

She assumed it had a purpose other than just war makeup and found herself intrigued, making a mental note to ask once they could talk again.

Nick peeked into the truck cabin to get a flashlight from the glove compartment. He cast an assessing gander her way. "You have to be invisible to walk among the dead."

"Wolf in sheep's clothing and all that?" She nodded, wrinkling her nose with a grin. "Gotta admit: you've smelled better."

"Invisibility has a price." He squinted cunningly, "Staying or coming?"

She frowned. "Thought I was confined to the truck?"

"If you insist on smelling better." He cracked a grin.

"I don't mind getting dirty." She opened the door on her side and slipped out. "I don't want to be too tempting for you anyway. We have a job to do."

She knelt in front of the corpse, allowing herself a few extra seconds to examine it. Her curiosity was burning and she wished there was more time.

Her hands delved into the open gash, collecting blood and the various other liquids it had blended with, unceremoniously smearing it onto herself.

He watched with amused interest how she dove into it without hesitation. His mind flashed back to Luciana pinning one of their dead guardians to the wall and cutting his throat to paint her face.

They tried to make it quick, sweeping through the hangars in search of all things they had use for, making a few runs back and forth between the truck and the warehouses. About half a dozen infected they had encountered followed them outside, stimulated by the noises they made but confused otherwise.

"There has to be a hospital or something around here," Nick said when they climbed back into the truck. "We can make a quick sweep and hurry back. Gotta drive through town anyway."

"You got it."

Eira got the truck started and pulled out of the lot, taking them away from the air base and towards Del Rio. It wasn't a long drive but it took them a few minutes extra to locate the building marked at Texas Health and Human Services.

It was a doctor's office, so not much medicine available for the taking. But the equipment was still good. Eira gathered what she could in a cardboard box.

Nick herded the few dead remaining inside toward the exit, then helped Eira with the boxes; they stored them in the cabin, and made a final drive around town before steering back to the highway leading home.

Nick let her drive while he leaned back in his seat, no longer feeling as he had after the shot couple of hours ago.

Eira could tell the fentanyl was beginning to wear off. She'd have to get him a booster when they returned home, lest he collapsed before the war even began. She told him as much, hoping it would bring a little relief.

"Never seen the truckers utilize zombie blood before. Not common knowledge?"

"Mine comes from experience," he said. "Another group I met was also using it for their scouts. I guess they learned same way I did."

"It's clever. Masking your scent to keep the predators at bay."

"Yeah. Only it's harder to figure out when the predator is dead to begin with."

"Fair." She glanced over at him. "How long did it take you to get comfortable with them?"

Nick reflected on it for a moment. "After that moment when I realized they don't see me like that, fear just faded. I felt safer among them than anywhere else."

"And it works no matter what? Even if you were to get injured yourself, or… start running?"

"Well, I never ran 'cause the point was to be like them. And injuries – yeah, I guess it could make it risky. They smell fresh blood."

"Gotta be careful not to let their blood soak through your bandages," she said. "I imagine it wouldn't end well."

Nick shrugged, tipping her a smile. "Fever, pains, nothing new. That fear kinda faded as well."

"But certain death, yes? I assume the same bacteria that lives in their saliva is present in their blood as well?"

"I guess, I'd die. But I can die any day, any hour, so why not then and there."

"Well, hold on a little longer, will you? It's nice to have some conversation on the drive back."

Nick laughed softly, wincing as he did. "Logan said there's a hunting farm somewhere around. You ever been to it?"

"Nah. My parents would send me and my brothers here for a few weeks every summer, but we didn't venture out of the town much. Boring as hell. But we liked our aunt and she had a son who was our age, so…" She shrugged, eyes on the road. "Wanna make a stop? Is there time?"

"I think I should use the steam I've left to check it out. We might need what's there."

"Just tell me where to turn, handsome."

"In about seven miles."

"I've no concept of how far that is," Eira laughed. "Unless you'll tell me in kilometers. You Americans and your Imperial system." They drove in silence for a while until it was time to turn down a new road. "Might be some weapons left."

It took a bit of driving around to finally find the right road that eventually brought them to some houses visible far ahead in the poor moonlight. Even the most careful driving Eira could execute with a loaded truck on a country road paved with dips and rocks couldn't spare Nick a lot of the most unpleasant sensations he bore with his teeth gnashed together so tightly it actually began to hurt as much as the rest of him.

The closer they got, the more of the ranch got caught in their fickle and wavering illumination, the better they understood what had befallen this place after the apocalypse spread over the land. Some infected were still traipsing around the few houses sitting neatly along the once well-maintained driveways, surrounded by a small garden each. Those little gardens were beautiful once, Nick imagined, taking a closer look on his stroll, but now it was all dust, cold and hard earth, and the plants that needed human nurturing had withered away. Their sad dried remains sticking out between the meagre wild growth.

Deeper into the complex they found a small selection of pickup trucks and a few lighter cars parked in neat lines. Some had their doors open like bugs with wings out ready to fly. A couple of old corpses lay next to the dusty tires, their silhouettes outlined by the moon. As Nick took a closer look, walking between the vehicles, he noticed bullet holes peppering their sides. Empty bullet shells gleamed dimly around the corpses buried in dust and sand.

"A group was stationed here," Nick told Eira in a quiet voice when she caught up with him. "We might need to be careful in case some survived and would shoot before talking."

"All right," she said, slipping her knife from its sheath just to have it ready as she weaved in and out between the cars. There was nothing of worth inside on first glance and Eira assumed the ones who had been here before had helped themselves to whatever was available.

"Watch my back while I check their pockets?" She wanted to save Nick the task of bending over, considering his wound, and took on the job of putting down the corpses.

He caught her by the arm. "We're wasting time if we clean them out. We're here to look indoors. Come on." Their makeup still kept them hidden, for no walker turned their way as they stole towards the first little garden and the cabin beyond it.

She trailed him, still finding it hard to look away from the dead. It would have been wonderful to study them up close. To open them up. Find out what made them work.

It was messy inside. Someone had rifled through the cabin already and hadn't bothered to tidy up. Eira carefully stepped over an empty chips bag, avoiding the noise it would dole out. She opened up the drawers and cupboards anyway, taking anything that potentially could be of use. Batteries, candy bars, cans of soda. But she didn't find anything that would help them in the upcoming day.

The next building appeared to be a hangar, long enough to shelter vehicles and tools needed for the maintenance of the ranch. As they approached, they noticed a big white bullet-like shape stationed under the line of windows.

"There should be a lake here somewhere," Nick said, stroking a hand over the boat's side. The tarp it had on was lying on the ground in a heap. "It's good to know. Your town will need water."

"Wanda and the council may already know about it. Most of them have lived in Sonora for decades," Eira said, picking through a few stained cardboard boxes. "I miss the ocean."

Nick glanced at her over his shoulder, momentarily distracted. "Maybe one of those days, if we survive this."

"Motivating me to stay alive?" She grinned. "Cause it's working."

He turned back to the stacks of boxes, smiling. "I don't think you really need my motivational lectures."

"Nah, but they don't hurt." She discovered a can of gasoline that appeared to have been for the boat, and carried it with her to put it outside for pick up once they returned to the truck.

"That other one is clear," Nick pointed, when they loaded their findings in the truck. "See for more fuel, and I'll check the main house." He went toward it, noting the two smaller cabins on the way to check if the bigger one came out useless. A dead man trudged past him, lured by the truck's headlights blinking. Nick drove his knife through the base of his skull, and went on. There seemed to be no other ones nearby, though he could see a few slowly moving figures further ahead closer to a few bigger hangars bunched together.

He stuck to the shrubs, approaching the ranch headquarters, and froze at the last one when a soft sound of a door closing reached him. He cocked his ear, staring at the porch drowning in blackness of shadows. It was impossible to see into it, and his eyes roamed the walls and windows. He made out curtains behind the glass misty with months' worth of dust, and in a second, he could have sworn they moved. It was so imperceptible he doubted he truly saw it. He wished it was just his imagination, some weirdly shifting shadows or a small cloud passing over the crescent moon, but there was no way to be certain of anything. He had glimpsed a solar panel spread just beyond the circle of cabins, and it was a nice place to be if anyone was still around. He craned his neck to look back at the truck; Eira was moving towards it with another box or a canister, he couldn't tell. He slipped from behind the shrub and went for the porch.

One of the boards creaked under his sneaker, but not too loudly, and he carefully avoided it, reaching for the door handle. It turned but the door didn't open. Locked? Was that what he heard earlier?

He leaned closer to the door, listening for a few moments, but other than his rapid heartbeat and slight flushing in his ears brought about by the painkillers fading, he heard nothing. He considered breaking the door, fiddling with the lock with his knife, and leaving it all be, then thought of something else. He stole down the stairs and leaned to the corner of the window, cupping his hands to the sides of his face hoping to see in.

There was a flash, briefly deafening him with a loud BANG! and the thin sound of glass breaking. He ducked under the sill on instinct that saved him before his mind processed that instant. Pain shot through his torso from the rapid movement, and his heart raced. And then he heard a click of a gun misfiring. A very soft sound from inside the house, so he once again doubted it was real. A quiet metallic thud that followed reassured him, however, and he quickly put the puzzle together in his head: the person inside was out of bullets, and the gun lay useless on the floor. There were more thuds, in quick succession, and a door shutting.

A walker hurried from around the corner, wheezing, arms flailing, and three more were trying to get to him as fast as their clumsy withered legs allowed. The gunshot had lured them.

"Fuck," Nick huffed, and without much thinking slid the window up and, grunting at a twinge, hopped inside, shutting the window down after.

Alicia can't breathe. Seth's fingers are closed around her throat, squeezing her so tightly it feels like her eyes are about to pop out. He watches her with little to no interest, like she's no more than a bug he's contemplating whether or not to crush beneath his shoe.

"Please," she wheezes. "Please don't." It's a pitiful sound.

Troy stands in the doorway, his face pale and beaded with sweat. There are dark circles beneath his eyes. He can barely look at her. "A liability," he tells Nick beside him, one hand resting on his friend's shoulder. "She's not made for this world. She should have died with the old one. Let her go, Nicky."

He pushes away from the open doorway and disappears into the hallway.

Nick remains, his gaze set on Alicia's struggles, nothing but disappointment and pain etched onto his familiar features. His hand is clutching his side where blood continues to pool and drip from between his fingers, leaving a trail behind him as he too turns his back on her and leaves.

"Come back!" Alicia tries to call, but her voice dies in her throat, Seth's merciless grip holding her words prisoner.

Her Mom steps out of the shadows, eyeing the drops of blood Nick left behind with horror and outrage. Her cold eyes snap to her daughter. "You were supposed to look after him! You were supposed to take care of him! You're the strong one!" Madison all but growls. Her anger fades and is replaced with exhausted fear as she stares into the darkness where Nick disappeared to. She rushes that way. "Bring the bucket!"

Alicia tries to squirm, to tear herself from Seth's grasp. But she can't move at all. Her arms and legs are lead. Heavy and unyielding to her waning strength.

Something breaks under Seth's fingers. Her windpipe. Alicia gasps desperately, like a fish out of water.

Liam peers down at her from over Seth's shoulder, a lazy smile stretching his lips. "Tammy here was our good luck talisman," he says, holding up Tammy's severed head. Her skin has gone ashen, her face decomposing, teeth already yellowing and rotten. She snaps her teeth at the air, pale eyes rolling in their sockets.

Liam flings her aside and she hits the floor with a wet thud, her brains exploding from her skull.

He moves to the other side of the bed, brandishing a machete as he closes in, eyeing Alicia's broken throat with gleeful delight as he raises his weapon and lets it swing. "Your turn, princess."

Alicia woke with a scream, jolting out of bed and immediately collapsing onto the floor. Her legs were unwilling to carry her, her torso felt crushed and malformed. Breathing hurt. It hurt a lot.

"Alicia!" Leticia yelped, rushing to her side along with a flustered Rose. They took her by the arms and helped her up, back onto the soft mattress, beneath the warm covers.

"What happened?" Leticia asked, her eyes wide with worry.

Alicia let her eyes close for a moment, trying to ride out the worst of the discomfort and aches that had assaulted her body anew when she'd moved with such carelessness.

"Nightmare," she whispered, eventually. "I'm fine." Even if her heart was still racing.

Leticia gave her a look of sympathy as Rose vanished to fetch some water. "You're gonna be okay, Alicia. I promise," the girl said softly, a smile warming her face. "You're safe here."

Alicia opened her eyes to meet Leticia's gaze. "Where's Nick?"

"Still out," she replied, but hurried to add: "He should be back soon. Don't worry. You'll see him soon."

Sure. Alicia had heard those words before. They were hard to believe. She wanted to tell Leticia as much, to argue, to do anything but focus on the pain.

But all that left her lips as sleep pulled her back under was: "I want my brother."

"I heard a scream," Robin said, making an uncertain step into the infirmary, his alert gaze searching the girls' faces.

"It's okay, nothing happened, just a bad dream," Leticia said, tucking Alicia in, then stepped before Robin, as though covering Alicia with her body, folding her arms over her chest. "You might need to leave, she needs more rest. And don't barge in like that until she's transferred into a room. It's inappropriate."

Robin's face creased with a hint of disdain. "I don't answer to you. I'm doing my job."

"Me too." Leticia said with an air of self-importance. "She is fine, you can stop worrying your trepid heart."

Rose turned her back to them pretending to be busy in one of the drawers while hiding a smile.

"Why would you think I was worried?" Robin folded his arms, as well. They stood face to face like siblings squabbling over who walks the youngest one to school tomorrow.

Leticia simpered, "You shoulda seen your face. You like her. No need to deny, can't fool me."

Robin mimicked the jeer in his smirk, "Like you pine after her brother? It's sorta a lost cause already, but if you were as smart as you boast to be, you'd have seen it yourself."

"You don't know what you're talking about. All because Eira will never see yo—"

"Guys, please!" Rose hissed. "Step outside and keep at it until you're blue in the faces, but not here. Out."

"I'm done, anyway," Leti concluded, giving Robin a dismissive glance. "He should go back to his job. Outside."

"You're just a kid to him," Robin said, pulling the door open. "And Eira's not." With that, and a little parting sneer over his shoulder, he went outside.

Leticia huffed quietly and turned to Rose, looking nearly accusing. "He's bullshitting me. Eira's not a cougar."

"Oh come on!" Rose said. "Eira's just twenty six. Your life's at its prime then."

Leti squinted, "Youth and prime are what, the same now? Then I'm also at my prime."

Rose couldn't help but laughing softly. "Just be quiet now. Jeez. Let her sleep."

Eira crouched to the ground as soon as the shot rang out, wildly scanning her surroundings for signs of the shooter. But there was none to see.

She kept low as she moved to around the truck, squinting through the darkness in search of Nick in the direction of the main house.

For a few seconds she simply listened and when all that reached her was the dull drone of someone dead, she made for the house with her knife in hand, pressing herself to the wall once she was there.

"Nick?" she hissed but received no answer other than the dead that was no headed her way. She couldn't make out its face in the darkness but its movements and stench made it clear this body had not been alive for some time.

A thrill of excitement shot through her as it came closer, its hands reaching for her. Clearly the dried blood on her face and clothes was no longer doing a very good job.

Her hand grasped the dead by the throat as it came for her, holding it at bay. Its skin was cold and slippery, as though the top layers of its flesh was threatening to come off with any type of friction.

Her knife plunged into its eye socket and the body quickly dropped to the ground, still and as dead as it should be.

Eira exhaled and a small smile claimed her lips as she dislodged her weapon.

She could do this.

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