Vignette Summary: Lana and Mia meet at Ivy University when Mia audits one of Lana's law school classes. They become fast friends, but Lana wants more.

Tags: Angst

Word Count: 4,390

Date: Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Time: 12:21 pm

Location: Room 202, F. J. Scales School of Law, Ivy University, Los Tokyo

Seated middle row center in the 50-person lecture theater, and packing up her things, was Lana Skye, satisfied with another excellent showing in Evidence Law 201. Sure, some students called her a know-it-all for being so engaged in class, but she didn't care. Once she graduated, she could do whatever law job she wanted, whatever that may be.

The more Lana trudged through law school, the more she questioned if it was even the right path for her, but it was too late to stop now. She was on track to graduate top of her class, and she was determined to earn that achievement.

As Lana sorted through her supplies, carefully filing her notes in the correct slots of her meticulously arranged accordion file folder and organizing her large collection of colorful highlighters and pens into various pockets of her backpack, an unknown female student from the back of the lecture theater greeted her. "Hi, you don't know me, but I just had to come down and talk to you. I'm so amazed. How do you know everything?"

Lana didn't look up. "If you're looking to partner with me on the term project, I'll tell you what I've told everyone else: I work alone."

"Oh. I didn't mean it like that," the student clarified. "I'm not trying to use you for a grade or something. I'm only auditing the class, actually."

Lana finally looked up. When she did, she saw the most beautiful girl staring back at her. She had long chestnut brown hair, big doe eyes, dainty features, and a perfect figure.

She was always told that she was an anomaly in her community. Lana liked her women very feminine and her men very masculine, and this girl definitely ticked that first box in full. She was also told that such a strong preference for the quote, unquote ideals of either sex was a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, but she couldn't be helped.

Lana let out a nervous laugh, grateful that she stopped herself from saying the first thought that came to her head: "You can use me however you want." After a few more quiet seconds, she settled on a more acceptable response. "Sorry, maybe that was a little harsh. When you participate in class as much as I do, you get that request quite frequently."

The girl smiled back. "I understand your struggle completely."

"Are you a new transfer to Ivy? I don't remember you from first year."

She shook her head. "No, I'm still pre-law. Just auditing a few law classes to prepare for the accelerated program next year."

"The accelerated program? Someone's a glutton for punishment," Lana joked.

She laughed. "I'm told it's brutal. That's why I'm getting started now. I want to be an attorney as soon as possible," she explained.

"I get that. I was tempted too but ultimately decided against it. With the regular program, I barely have a life as it is." They nodded back and forth for a moment. "Anyway, I guess I'll see you next class."

"Actually, are you busy right now? I'm done with all my classes for the day and was wondering if you could offer some advice. If it isn't too much trouble."

Lana smiled. "I have another lecture in an hour. Can you walk and talk?"

"For sure." She extended out her hand. "I'm Mia Fey, by the way."

"That rhymed." Lana shook it. "Lana Skye." She directed Mia ahead. "Our first stop is the library café. I need to grab something to eat before my class."

Mia nodded.

The pair walked through the campus and chatted, Mia eagerly asking for details about the law program: which classes to take, which to skip, and which were the most challenging. Lana agreed that Evidence Law was one of the most vital but also one of the hardest and it was smart of Mia to get familiar with it before she had to take it officially.

As they walked through the quad, Lana seemingly knew everyone and frequently waved and greeted others they passed along the way.

"I thought you said you had no life," Mia said.

"I don't."

"How do you know everyone then?"

"Oh, well, work a few campus jobs, tutor a few classes, and live in a sorority, and you tend to meet a lot of people."

"You're in a sorority?"

"House mother. I kind of… run the sorority."

"They let you do that? You're only in your early 20s, right?"

"Just need a bachelor's to do it."

"Huh. I didn't know that. How's that: living in a sorority?"

"Uh, you know. It's… interesting."

"Hectic?"

"Big time. At least I have a roof over my head, and I don't have to get another job."

"So, it's worth it?"

Lana laughed. "Ask me tomorrow and you'll get a different answer."

Mia laughed back. "A roof over your head is something. I'll need to find somewhere else to live soon."

"What's wrong with your current place?"

"Nothing. My landlord is moving her son in, so I have to leave. Need to be out by the end of November."

"Shitty timing. Right before exams."

"It is. She wouldn't budge though."

"I know I made it sound so wonderful, but you could always live at the sorority too."

"Really? There's a free spot?"

"Not right now," Lana admitted. "There probably will be. At least one of the girls drops out every year. I can keep you in mind."

"That would be great, thank you. Would be nice to live so close to campus again."

"No problem. I'll let you know when I know." Lana smiled softly to herself. She was starting to think the stereotypes about lesbian relationships were true. Less than an hour, and she was already asking Mia to move in with her.

Mia handed Lana her phone. "Put your number into my phone. You can text me about it. If you want."

"Sure." Lana typed her contact information until another caller flashed on the screen. "Someone named Parker is trying to call you."

"Oh, that's my boyfriend. You can just click it off. I'll call him back later."

Lana stopped mentally selecting China for her and Mia's wedding registry. She handed Mia's phone back to her. "My number's in there and I sent myself a text, so I'll have your number too."

"Perfect! Thanks."

"I only have 15 minutes until class; do you mind if I have a smoke break before then?"

"Oh. S-sure."

Lana grabbed a cigarette and then offered one to Mia. Mia declined.

"I feel like you're the type of person my mom always warned me about it," Mia said.

Lana scoffed. "What does that mean?" She lit her cigarette and took a drag.

"She told me if I ever left my village, there'd be people who'd try to tempt me into things like drugs and alcohol."

Lana had so many questions but not enough time. "I'm not trying to peer pressure you," Lana argued. "I was just being polite. If it was a pack of gum, I'd offer you a piece."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I've drank before. Quite a lot now, actually. I don't smoke though."

"It's fine. I know I shouldn't."

"Why do you smoke if you know you shouldn't?"

"When you have no parents, a little sister to raise, and a porn star's name, sometimes you just need an outlet."

"Your parents left too?"

"No." Lana cleared her throat. "They died in a car accident."

Mia frowned. "I'm so sorry."

"Thanks. Your parents left you?"

Mia nodded. "My dad left when I was ten and my mom left three weeks before my 13th birthday."

"I'm really sorry. If my parents were still around, I don't think they could even handle the thought of…" Lana trailed off and took another drag. If she talked too much about her parents, she was liable to start crying, and she couldn't have that.

"I know. Sometimes I still can't believe it. Like maybe they'll just come back some day and tell me it was all a big misunderstanding." Mia paused. "How old's your sister?"

"She just turned ten."

"Only one year younger than my sister."

"You have a little sister too?" Lana asked. Mia nodded again. "Any other siblings?"

"No, just Maya."

"Same. Just me and Ema. That's a funny coincidence."

"It is." Mia thought for a moment. "Is Lana Skye really a… porn name?"

Lana laughed. "It's not anything crazy like, I don't know, April May or Angel Starr or something. It's definitely porn adjacent though. I don't know what my parents were thinking."

Mia giggled. "Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, my mom is a mystic named Misty."

"Your mom's a mystic?"

Mia's eyes widened. "Did I just say that out loud? Don't tell anyone I said that."

Lana smiled. "I can keep a secret."

"Thanks. Only you and Parker know."

Lana's smile faded. The secret was more special when only she was part of it. "Tell me more about this Parker. Is he pre-law too?"

"No, he's pre-med."

"A doctor and a lawyer? Don't you two make a pretty pair?"

Mia grinned. "It wasn't like that. I met him at the campus bookstore."

"I'm just messing with you. I'm sure he has many other great qualities."

Mia started scanning through her phone. "Do you want to see? I think I have a picture of him on here."

Not really, but Lana played ball anyway.

"Here he is! Isn't he cute?"

Lana looked at the photo. He was cute, but nothing to write home about. "He is." Lana tossed her cigarette butt on the ground and crushed it under her heel. "Anyway, I better start heading to class."

Mia put her phone away. "Wait."

"What is it?"

"Can I have one of those?"

"You want a cigarette? Maybe your mom was right to be worried." She handed one to Mia.

"I'll smoke this on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You throw the rest of the pack away."

"Why would I do that?"

"You want to be friends, right?"

More than anything; Lana thought. "Sure," she actually said.

"I can't be friends with a smoker."

"That seems awfully judgmental."

"I just don't want a friend who thinks it's okay to slowly kill herself."

"I see your point. If you think it's so bad though, why do you want one?"

Mia shrugged. "I want to see what all the fuss is about."

Lana laughed. "Right."

"Do we have a deal?"

"Deal. I can't promise I won't relapse, but I'll at least throw the rest of the pack out."

"Good. The garbage can is right there."

Lana eyed the garbage can for a few seconds before discarding the pack. She wondered if she could dig it out after class without looking crazy. She returned to Mia. "Time for you to uphold your end of the bargain."

Mia held the cigarette up to her lips awkwardly and Lana lit it for her.

"I don't feel anything," Mia said.

"That's because you have to inhale," Lana teased.

Mia did as instructed and started hacking and coughing. "This is awful. Why do you like this?"

"If you don't want it, I can finish it off for you."

Mia inhaled again. "Oh, no," she said through more coughs. "I'll keep my promise."

Date: Friday, December 17, 2010

Time: 11:37 pm

Location: Mia's Room, Alpha Omega Sorority, Ivy University, Los Tokyo

"Are they always like that when they drink?" Mia asked, as she sat down on her twin bed.

Lana shut the door behind her. "Pretty much."

Their sorority was having an end of semester holiday party downstairs, and the other girls had gotten increasingly rowdy as the night went on. Even upstairs, and with the door closed, laughter, drunk singing, and party music could be heard quite clearly.

"How do you stand it?

"I don't. Hard to pass up free room and board for three years though." Lana grinned. "At least you didn't have to eat dog food or streak through the quad to live here."

"You did all that?"

Lana chuckled. "No. Not on my watch was I letting hazing rituals happen. Some of the other sororities though? Not quite as nice as here."

"I can't believe that kind of stuff still goes on."

"I know. At least the shitshow downstairs is the worst things can get."

"I'm so glad Ema's at her friend's house tonight."

"Honestly, when she's here, they behave better. They really fuss over her."

"That's nice. I'd like to see her more too. Can't believe I've been here a whole month now and I've only ever seen her for a few seconds in the hallway."

"Well, you're always at the library and she goes to bed at eight like an old lady."

Mia laughed. "She's only ten. When should she be asleep?"

"I don't know. I feel like I was always up later when I was her age. She tells me I should go to bed earlier too, but I never do. Something about brain synapses or neurotransmitters. I don't know. She's smarter than I am." Mia smiled. "Anyway," Lana continued. "She'd love to see you more too. You're like her hero."

Mia scoffed. "Oh, stop. How could that possibly be true?"

"You got me to quit smoking. She's been after me about it for three years."

"And she's right. You should have quit three years ago. Why didn't you stop until now?"

"I don't have a good answer." Well, Lana didn't have an answer that was acceptable to admit out loud. "Maybe having two people on my case convinced me."

"At least something worked. Are you still using the patches?"

"Yeah."

"And how are they?"

"They're fantastic! Just as good as smoking."

"Really?"

Lana laughed. "No. Not even close. I could really go for a cigarette right now."

Mia laughed back. "Maybe that was stupid to ask. I only smoked that one time, and I couldn't imagine becoming addicted."

"Never start. Once you do…" Lana exhaled. "It's so great."

"I'm becoming skeptical that you haven't smoked since September. Not with the way you talk about it."

"I've been strong; I promise. I just miss it."

"It'll get easier."

"I hope so. These patches suck."

Mia giggled. "You're crazy."

Lana smiled. It shouldn't have, but having Mia affectionately call her crazy made Lana's heart skip a beat.

"You going to be lonely the next few weeks?" Lana asked.

"Don't remind me. While you and Ema are off sightseeing in England, I'll be here watching movies and reality TV all by myself."

"Sorry, I'm not trying to rub it in. Your aunt still being a hard-ass?"

"She's been one for over forty years. Can't see her changing now. If I'm lucky, she may allow Maya to visit me once for a few hours, maybe twice. God, Aunt Morgan has a toddler to look after. You'd think she'd be desperate to ship Maya away for a couple of weeks."

"Obviously, she just likes to eff with you. That sucks though. It's a hard time of year to be alone." Christmas hadn't been the same to Lana ever since her parents died four years earlier. However, she did feel lucky that her mom's best friend in London had invited her and Ema to visit with her family, every Christmas since.

"It is. Christmas isn't a thing in the Village, but it feels lonely being stuck by myself while everyone else celebrates. Back when I lived in the dorms, me and an international student were the only ones who stayed there over the break that year."

"Did you two do anything at least?"

"No. She was really shy and lived on a different floor, so we mostly kept to ourselves."

"Well, maybe next year you can come with us. Connie is so nice. I know she wouldn't have a problem with it."

"Thanks. If I have the money, I'll take you up on that." Mia sighed. "I was supposed to go to Parker's parent's house for Christmas this year, but obviously that didn't work out."

"Is he still texting you?"

"A little. He messaged me earlier tonight, but I didn't answer it. I don't want to talk to him, and I could tell he was drunk and out with his friends."

"Good. Let him squirm." Lana never met Parker, but she was happy when Mia broke things off with him six weeks ago. It gave her the tiniest bit of hope. "What did he do anyway?"

Mia shook her head. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"That bad, huh?"

"Let's just say, I was tempted to submit a sternly worded letter to the dean of admissions at Ivy's med school."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I knew how that would look. Just some crazy ex-girlfriend trying to crush his dreams. Besides, if the police didn't do anything about it, I doubt Ivy would."

"The police?" Lana asked incredulously. "Jesus, what did he do?"

"Whatever, it's fine. I took care of it."

"How did you take care of it?"

"I just… took care of it."

Lana's eyes widened and she laughed. "I didn't know you were such a badass."

Mia smiled. "I can be, if the person deserves it. Him and his friends are… disgusting."

"Yeah," Lana agreed. "Men aren't all that bad, but some can be."

"I haven't had the best luck so far."

"You can always do what I did and take a break from men for a while. Date women instead," Lana joked.

"Oh," Mia reacted. "You're…?"

"Bi? Yeah."

"I didn't know."

"Well, I don't go around announcing it. That'd be kind of weird." Lana extended out her arms. "Surprise!"

Mia laughed. "I guess we haven't known each other that long. I don't think you've mentioned dating anyone."

"I probably haven't. Things have been busy. My last date was maybe… six months ago."

"Any crushes on one of the girls downstairs?" Mia teased.

Lana groaned. "I would never date one of those babies. They're driving me to an early grave. With the way they talk about those Kappa Epsilon boys, I don't think I'd be their type anyway."

"What is your type?"

Lana's heart fluttered again. Why did Mia care to know? "I don't know." Lana paced for a moment, before fiddling around with the knick knacks on Mia's desk. "Someone mature who understands that Ema will always be my top priority."

"You'll find that," Mia reassured her.

"Maybe."

"You could be onto something though."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe it would be easier to date women."

Lana picked Mia's half-drunk pint of liquor off her desk and waved it around. "Okay, no more peppermint schnapps for you."

"I'm serious." Mia gestured for her bottle and Lana obliged. Mia took a swig and then offered the bottle back to Lana. Lana sat down next to her on the bed and had a drink too. "Maybe I've had so many bad experiences because I've been trying to force something that isn't right."

"Maybe." Lana paused. "Who do you think would be the right person for you?"

"I don't know." There was a beat. "Someone mature who understands that Maya will always be my top priority."

Lana looked up at Mia, who was looking at her, scanning. Lana laughed nervously. "Do you think you'll ever find that?"

"I do." Mia continued to look at Lana. She stroked some of Lana's hair away before leaning closer.

Lana forgot how to breathe. Ever since she met Mia, she hoped this would happen, but she never thought it actually would. She assumed she must be dreaming. The irrational part of her brain wanted to just go for it, but a little rationality slipped through. "You're drunk," Lana protested feebly.

"I'm not that drunk," Mia countered. "Are you?"

Lana shook her head lightly. "Not really."

"Good." Mia held her face and kissed her, and Lana kissed back.

The next morning, Lana was practically giddy when she woke up. As her eyes opened, and she faced Mia's bedroom wall, donning a calendar, whiteboard, and Ivy University pennant, she was overjoyed at the reminder that last night really happened.

She and Mia had made out for about an hour before Mia said she was tired. They both crawled underneath the covers and fell asleep, still in their party dresses, Lana's a red crushed velvet number and Mia's a green sequined. While they weren't cuddling anymore, there wasn't much space on such a tiny bed, and Lana could feel Mia's warmth radiating beside her and hear her breathing. Mia didn't sound asleep.

Lana turned to her left. "Good morning," she said.

Mia turned to face Lana. "Morning."

Lana leaned forward to kiss Mia, but Mia didn't lean in nor close her eyes. Lana pulled back and chuckled. "Sorry, my breath must smell."

"It's not that."

"What's wrong?"

Mia turned away from Lana. "I don't want to say."

Lana took a deep breath. She didn't want her high to come crashing down, but she wasn't one for prolonging torture either. She decided to rip the Band-Aid off. "Just tell me."

"I-I don't think I'm gay," Mia admitted.

"Right." This wasn't the first time this had happened to Lana. She had a couple other girls try her out after bad relationships with men, only to call it a mistake and run into the arms of another man after it was all over. She hoped Mia was different. "What about last night?"

"I know."

"You didn't like it at all?"

"It was nice."

"So, maybe you are then."

Mia turned back around to face Lana and shook her head. "No, I don't think I am."

"How do you know?" Lana didn't want to argue about someone's sexuality, but she desperately hoped there was some way for Mia to see things her way. After last night, it was clear Mia was confused.

"I just… I think about all the… other stuff and I can't wrap my head around it. I just –"

Lana cut her off. "I get it." She didn't need Mia to go into detail about all the stuff she didn't want to do with her. Lana just wished Mia had thought more deeply about it before she put her tongue in her mouth. "Maybe you're just… nervous. I would never rush you into anything."

"Thank you. I guess… when we were kissing, and with my eyes closed, it was easy to just pretend you were a guy."

Lana scoffed. "Really? You touched my boobs."

"Over clothes," Mia countered.

"Yeah, but still. I assume most guys you've been with don't have those."

"No, they didn't. I was just being thorough though."

"What do you mean?"

"I had to figure this all out, one way or the other. Based on the way guys react to them, I didn't feel the same way."

Lana wanted to counter again but stopped herself. She and Mia weren't exactly working with equal assets. That said, Lana knew that she hadn't discriminated based on size before and neither did most guys.

"Did you ever have a crush on a woman before?" Lana asked. "Didn't you grow up mostly around women?"

"No, and I did, but most of the women I knew were related to me, so it made sense."

"True. I guess you didn't have a chance to date anyone before you moved away."

"Well…"

"Well, what?"

"There was this one guy, Kamal. He was from Khura'in and visited the Village for a few weeks back when I was 17. I guess I sort of dated him."

"Of course." Lana didn't know what to say. She knew there was no sense in arguing. Not only was Mia not gay, but she was so straight that she jumped at a guy the first chance she could.

"I'm sorry. I really thought I could be, or I wouldn't have done anything."

"I'm just surprised. Did it really take you an hour to figure that out?"

"Probably not," Mia conceded. "Like I said, I just wanted to be completely sure."

Lana laughed breathily. Leave it to Mia "Straight-A" Fey not to half-ass anything, even being bi-curious.

"What is it?" Mia asked.

"Oh, nothing."

There was another silence. "I really am sorry," Mia said. "I just know that, if I don't feel that way with you, then I won't with any woman."

At that comment, Lana had to face the wall again. She felt like she was going to cry and needed a moment to compose herself. Mia was killing her with kindness, but she was also just killing her. Lana didn't know what to do. She didn't want to cry or sigh or even breathe the wrong way, knowing Mia was waiting for her response.

Lana decided to push the feelings deep down, as she always did. She had gotten really good at that ever since her parents died. "It's okay," she finally said.

"Really?"

Lana turned back around and faked a smile. "Yeah, it's fine. We were both drunk and being a little silly."

"That's true," Mia agreed.

"Besides, I'm so busy with Ema, school, and the sorority that I probably don't have time for a relationship right now."

Mia breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I was so worried about telling you because I still want to be friends. It really means a lot to me."

"Me too." Another beat. "How about we change and get breakfast before Ema gets back?"

"That sounds great."

"Perfect." Lana got up. She carefully climbed over Mia and onto solid ground before straightening her dress. "I'll meet you at the front door in a half hour."

Mia sat up and nodded back.

When Lana got back to her and Ema's room, the first thing she did was haul her desk chair to her closet and climb on it, so she could access her top shelf. She reached to the very back and found what she was looking for: a pack of cigarettes. One she kept hidden in case of emergencies.

She jumped off the chair, opened her window, and removed the screen. Then, she popped her head out and lit up. Now was definitely an emergency.